This one, 'cos it keeps gobblin' and gobblin' and gobblin'...

Originally posted by the excellent Zooillogix blog. Go on over and have a look.

What a week!  It has seemed to be a flurry of writing, and rating on Helium.  I wrote 2 articles for their Marketplace.  This is where publishers make requests for certain pieces and allow submissions from the site's writers.  Because the publishers haven't made a decision on which articles to publish, I cannot provide links at this time.  If mine are chosen and published, I will do so.  And if they are not, they'll be transferred to Helium and I can link you then as well.  I am also planning a few more articles for the Marketplace this week as well.  They are supposed to be a guide to the most interesting and haunted locations in San Diego, California and Charleston, South Carolina.  It should be interesting and I am working on my research for those now.

I finally managed to complete all the requirements for the Reward-a-Thon and have been writing up a storm for that.  I did 3 articles just under those categories today, and plan on doing more tomorrow.  I have a little over a month to get as many of those titles done as I can.  It will be a long month, but hopefully it will be rewarding in the end.  They promise rewards, so I will work like hell to get them.  I cannot wait to keep writing for the reward-a-thon, so many of the titles are right up my alley.  They have about 8 titles on sharks, which as many of you know I am a complete shark fanatic.  I can easily name a hundred topics that I can write on, if only I can find the time.

Also, if any of your know of somewhere that is looking for a part-time proofreader or copywriter, please let me know.  I could always use more opportunity to ply my trade, and this would be a great opportunity.  And a little extra spending cash can't possibly hurt either.  The two stipulations I have for this are that i must be able to work from home, and it cannot take up more than about 20 hours a week.  Other than that, send me the info, I am always interested in new opportunities.  So, now for the shameless self-promotion that I seem to be getting so good at...my newest articles:

Physical Attributes of the Goblin Shark: http://www.helium.com/items/1155456-goblin-shark-appearance-of-goblin-shark-biology-of-the-goblin-shark

Eating habits of the Great White Shark: http://www.helium.com/items/1155844-great-white-shark-feeding-habits-great-white-shark-prey

Physical characteristics of the Hammerhead Shark: http://www.helium.com/items/1155844-great-white-shark-feeding-habits-great-white-shark-prey

And again, I will get you a link to those other two pieces as soon as I can.  I think you would like them, the topics are:  How dirty talking improved your relationship and the etiquette of a one night stand.  The first I have personal experience with, the second not so much.  But regardless, both articles were very fun and I am hoping that they get picked for publication.  Keep your fingers crossed for me, I will know by Friday.  ~Stef

Well now I'm doing what I didn't want to do.  The point is that I want to talk about potential vice presidents for both candidates that would lead to them getting the most votes and ultimately winning the presidency.

Before I begin, I would like to thank my friend Kathleen for the inspiration for this post.  Her blog is on the blog roll to your right.  It's called Six Words to Change the World.  Please visit it.

Now, without further ado, here is a list of potential vice presidents for both Senator Obama and Senator Fartypants.

1.  Michael Phelps- There is literally no one hotter right now.  The guy has so much gold even King Midas is whispering to his now metallic daughter, "That's a little bit far.  Don't you agree poobear?"  In the debates, all Phelps has to do is just put his hand over his heart and start humming the national anthem.  The wave of patriotic nostalgia the crowd would be riding would be enough to send his running mate's ticket all the way to the Whitehouse.

2. Yoda- He is the head of the Jedi council, the oldest of all the Jedi, and just a general baller.  I feel like his complex, but grammatically succint syntax would be enough to befuddle the most clever wordsmith at the debates.  Can't you just see the other VP candidate looking like a complete moron by just saying, "Well in response to Master Yoda... wait what did he say?"  Yoda would then repeat, "What plans for Iraq infrastructure and democratic constitution have you?"  If the past two presidential elections are any indication, the public isn't necessarily concerned with a candidate that speaks traditional english.  Now I'm well aware Yoda doesn't really exist, I'm just saying we could get George Lucas and one of Jim Hensen's disciples to rig the same puppet with the same voice.  That would be baller.

3. Christian Bale - Now that his legal troubles are out of the way, I think if Bale just showed up in complete Dark Knight regalia and spoke in that gruff voice he does as Batman, people might legitimately believe Batman is real.  Plus that voice would scare the crap out of his opponent.  His commitment to justice is unparalleled.

4.  Oprah- I think this is a bit of a no brainer here.  Oprah literally has women over forty in the palm of her hand.  All of them.  I think she might even be more powerful than Master Yoda.  Don't believe me?  Feast your eyes on this example.  In February of 2005, when Oprah had Lance Armstrong on her show, she "challenged" her viewers to go and order Livestrong bracelets.  They bought 900,000 bracelets in 24 hours. That is power that money, or a mastery of The Force, cannot buy.  All she did was challenge them to do it.  Imagine if she asked them.  Lance Armstrong would probably be running the United States of Armstrong if Oprah willed it to be so. 

5.  Me - Look, I know that some of you are hesitant when I say this, but what does a vice president really do.  I mean just kind of hang out, break some ties in the Senate, live the dream.  I'm really good at living the dream.  I mean I would have to be Obama's running mate because of my storied past of instigating socialist rebellions in South America.  Plus I own a copy of the Communist Manifesto.  It's pocket sized.  And if Obama wins the presidency, for the people who are worried about bad things happening to him, be reassured in the fact that the Secret Service is one hundred times more worried than you are.  Everywhere that dude goes will be so locked down, people will barely be able to fart within a mile radius of a speaking appearance without severe legal rammifications.  I also could be really good at just making some old guy that McCain picks as his running mate look like just another Fartypants doppleganger. 

Gov. Fartypants:  Well I'm just concerned what your plan is Mr. Warner in dealing with the situation in Iraq and how do we stop the threat of global terror while maintaining a diplomatic relationship in the Middle East.

Me:  We're going to send Shawn Johnson over there.  She's adorable.  She'll sort things out.  What I'm more concerned about, Governor Fartypants, is what your administration would do to resolve the Tupac Shakur and Christopher Wallace murders that, as of today, remain unsolved.

Gov. Fartypants:  Who are those men?

Me:  Owned!

Once this happens early in the debates, the momentum will have shifted towards my anti-Fartypants platform of solving the Biggie and Tupac murders immediately following the total resolution of global terrorism.  I would be like the goblin shark of the presidential race:  completely unheard of until now and striking with Alien-like precision at my opponents.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080807/ap_on_re_us/tropical_weather

If you have not seen STEP BROTHERS it's a must if you like silliness and fun. My boyfriend and I laughed til our sides hurt. When Will buries his step brother in the front yard was priceless...Take a break from the rough world and go have a good laugh!