And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.
~George Carlin

Give a man food, and he can eat for a day. Give a man a job, and he can only eat for 30 minutes on break.
~Lev L. Spiro

Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody's going to get hurt.
~Alton Brown

Now my wife may think she's locked me out of the kitchen but MacGyver's not my patron saint for nothing.
~Alton Brown

Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love.

-- Song of Solomon

Cooking is an art and patience a virtue... Careful shopping, fresh ingredients and an unhurried approach are nearly all you need. There is one more thing - love. Love for food and love for those you invite to your table. With a combination of these things you can be an artist - not perhaps in the representational style of a Dutch master, but rather more like Gauguin, the naïve, or Van Gogh, the impressionist. Plates or pictures of sunshine taste of happiness and love.
~Keith Floyd, in 'A Feast of Floyd icon'

Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves - slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment. Only this moment is life.
~Thich Nhat Hahn

When I'm at a Chinese restaurant having a hard time with chopsticks, I always hope that there's a Chinese kid at an American restaurant somewhere who's struggling mightily with a fork.
~Rick Budinich

The day will come when a single carrot, freshly observed, will set off a revolution.
~Paul Cezanne

Coffee in England always tastes like a chemistry experiment.
~Agatha Christie

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that when I ask for a watercress sandwich I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.
~Oscar Wilde

Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can't believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I'm still hungry.
~Mike Kalin

How to Cook a Husband
In a lecture room, before a cooking school,
For cooking a husband was given this rule:
First, in selecting, to market don’t go;
The best you’ll find there, most surely no.
For although there are many, yes, galore,
The prime will always be brought to your door.
Don’t think for a moment, to bake or broil,
Much better tie in the kettle to boil.
Use a silken cord called comfort – ‘twon’t break,
But one called duty is apt to be weak.
To make him secure it is well, no doubt,
Yes! for aught we know, he’d be falling out.
And then, too surely if your back were turned,
He’d become, alas! both crusty and burned.
In cooking a husband you’ll plainly see,
Like lobsters and crabs, alive they must be.
Should he sputter and fuss, help there is none;
Some husbands do it until they are done.
Some sugar add, in the form of kisses;
You’ll find to absorb, he rarely misses.
Vinegar and pepper, use none at all;
But of spice you may add a sprinkling small.
Stir some, lest to the kettle he adhere,
Thus making him useless, I greatly fear.
Please not in his side some instrument stick,
For when he is done you will know it quick.
With proper treatment and excellent care
You’ll find him, indeed, delicious and rare.

Goderich, Lake Huron, Canad
from Famous Old Recipes Used a Hundred Years and More in the Kitchens of the North and South Contributed by Descendants ( 1908 )

Of soup and love, the first is best.
~Spanish Proverb

Garlic is as good as ten mothers.
~Les Blank

Don't be too daring in the kitchen. For example, don't suddenly get involved with shallots. Later, when you are no longer a Lonely Guy, you can do shallots. Not now. If you know coriander, stay with coriander and don't fool around. Even with coriander you're on thin ice, but at least you've got a shot, because it's familiar. Stay with safe things, like pepper.
~Bruce Jay Friedman (The Lonely Guy Cookbook, 1976)

Good bread is the most fundamentally satisfying of all foods; and good bread with fresh butter, the greatest of feasts.
~James Beard

You may feel that you have eaten too much...But this pastry is like feathers - it is like snow. It is in fact good for you, a digestive!
~M. F. K. Fisher

Always serve too much hot fudge sauce on hot fudge sundaes. It makes people overjoyed, and puts them in your debt.
~Judith Olney

I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.
~Nora Ephron

If the melting pot exists, the cheeseburger may well be its most palpable product; to take a bite of it is to take a bite of history...
~Elizabeth Rozin

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
~J.R.R. Tolkien

Thy food is such As hath been belched on by infected lungs.
~William Shakespeare

Food without wine is a corpse; wine without food is a ghost; united and well mitched they are as body and soul, living partners.
~Andre Simon

We think fast food is equivalent to pornography, nutritionally speaking.
~Steve Elbert

 - St. Anna's Community meal

Food is not about impressing people. It's about making them feel comfortable.
~Ina Garten

Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food.
~Hippocrates

All I ask of food is that it doesn't harm me.
~Michael Palin in Monty Python’s Flying Circus

If there is anything we are serious about, it is neither religion nor learning, but food.
~Lin Yutang

-Ethan Becker

NADINE ABENSUR in The Cranks Bible, a timeless collection of vegetarian recipes.

Anyone out there wish to defend the poor green pepper?

McDonald's in Tokyo is a terrible revenge for Pearl Harbor.
~SI Hayakawa

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
~Alex Levine

Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup.
~Henry Miller

What is patriotism but the love of the food one ate as a child?
~Lin Yutang

DOUG LARSON Quoted in the Charlotte Observer, North Carolina

Enjoy none-the-less!!

Happy and successful cooking doesn't rely only on know-how; it comes from the heart, makes great demands on the palate and needs enthusiasm and a deep love of food to bring it to life.
~Georges Blanc, Ma Cuisine des Saisons

Good apple pies are a considerable part of our domestic happiness.
~Jane Austen

Good bread is the great need in poor homes, and oftentimes the best appreciated luxury in the homes of the very rich.
~A Book for A Cook

It takes some skill to spoil a breakfast - even the English can't do it.
~John Kenneth Galbraith

Just because something's toxic doesn't mean it's not tasty.
~Matthew J. Siske

Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
~Art Buchwald

The art of cooking is among the most intimate things that we can do for another.
~Chef Charlie Trotter

In the end, your creativity - perhaps even your outrageousness - will determine the final result.
~Bobby Flay

I used to love the way everyone talked about food as if it were one of the most important things in life. And, of course, it is. Without it we would die. Each of us eats about one thousand meals a year. It is my belief that we should try and make as many of these meals as we can truly memorable.
~Robert Carrier

There is no technique, there is just the way to do it. Now, are we going to measure or are we going to cook?
~Frances Mayes

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.
~John Ruskin

JULIA STEWART The Matchmaker of Périgord

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.
~Mark Twain

Don't let love interfere with your appetite. It never does with mine.
~Anthony Trollope

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation.
~Madame Benoit

What you eat and drink is 50 percent of life.
~Gérard Depardieu

Food can look beautiful, taste exquisite, smell wonderful, make people feel good, bring them together, inspire romantic feelings…At its most basic, it is fuel for a hungry machine.
~Rosamond Richardson

If man be sensible and one fine morning, while he is lying in bed, counts at the tips of his fingers how many things in this life truly will give him enjoyment, invariably he will find food is the first one.
~Lin Yutang

A human being is primarily a bag for putting food into; the other functions and faculties may be more godlike, but in point of time they come afterwards...It is curious how seldom the all-importance of food is recognized. You see statues everywhere to politicians, poets, bishops, but none to cooks or bacon-curers or market gardners.

GEORGE ORWELL, The Road to Wigan Pier

If you find any good food related quotes, send them to me and I will post them here.

Cooking is at once one of the simplest and most gratifying of the arts, but to cook well one must love and respect food.
~Craig Claiborne

The preparation of good food is merely another expression of art, one of the joys of civilized living
~Dione Lucas

The only real stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking you've got to have a what-the-hell attitude.
~Julia Child

I like a cook who smiles out loud when he tastes his own work. Let God worry about your modesty; I want to see your enthusiasm.
~Robert Farrar Capon

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
~Virginia Woolf

My kitchen is a mystical place, a kind of temple for me. It is a place where the surfaces seem to have significance, where the sounds and odors carry meaning that transfers from the past and bridges to the future.
~Pearl Bailey

No one who cooks, cooks alone. Even at her most solitary, a cook in the kitchen is surrounded by generations of cooks past, the advice and menus of cooks present, the wisdom of cookbook writers.
~Laurie Colwin

If your regrets linger, if you cannot find inspiration in solitude, then you still have much to learn from the writers and poets and the cooks on becoming the artist of your own life… you can never re-create the
past. But you can shape your own future. And you can make a cake.
~Jacqueline Duval

If the divine creator has taken pains to give us delicious and exquisite things to eat, the least we can do is prepare them well and serve them with ceremony.
~Fernand Point

Happy and successful cooking doesn't rely only on know-how; it comes from the heart, makes great demands on the palate and needs enthusiasm and a deep love of food to bring it to life.
~Georges Blanc

Food, like a loving touch or a glimpse of divine power, has that ability to comfort.
~Norman Kolpas

Cuisine is only about making foods taste the way they are supposed to taste.
~Chef Charlie Trotter

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.
~Eddie Izzard

I pray that death may strike me in the middle of a large meal. I wish to be buried under the tablecloth between four large dishes.
~Marc Desuagiers

Ice-cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn't illegal.
~Voltaire

It takes some skill to spoil a breakfast - even the English can't do it.
~John Kenneth Galbraith

Never eat more than you can lift.
~Miss Piggy

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
~Erma Bombeck

When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
~Elaine Boosler

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.
~James Beard

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relatives.
~Oscar Wilde

Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks out-sell sex books three to one.
~L. M. Boyd

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
~Jo Brand

Dining is and always was a great artistic opportunity.
~Frank Lloyd Wright

I hate people who are not serious about their meals.
~Oscar Wilde

To illustrate this, I wanted to share a passage from a book I’m reading published in 1867 by Thomas De Voe, a butcher by trade in New York City, called The Market Assistant. He clearly shows that these considerations have been frustrating hosts and guests alike for years!

“An amusing article on diet, written above one hundred years ago, is found in a London paper called St. James’ Chronicle, dated November 6, 1762, and thus reads: - ‘There is no affectation more ridiculous than the antipathies which many whimsical people entertain with respect to diet. One will swoon at a Breast of Veal; another can’t bear the sight of a Suckling-pig; and another owes as great a grudge to a Shoulder of Mutton as Petruchio, in the farce. How often does it happen in company that we are debarred of a necessary ingredient in a salad because somebody, forsooth, cannot touch oil! And what a rout is made, whisking away the cheese off the table, without our being suffered to have a morsel of this grand digester, if any one should happen to declare his dislike of it! There are others of an equally fantastic disposition, who, as we may say, choose to quarrel with their bread and butter. These are eternally suspicious that their food is not sweet. They bring their plates up to their noses, or their noses down to their plates, at every thing that is put upon them. Their stomachs are so delicately nice that they descry a fault in all they eat. The fish is stale, the mutton is rank, or the suet in the pudding is musty.’”