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usnuj was here.

In the next morning, the moment of closeness Tarja and Tuomas had shared in her bedroom seemed to be forgotten, or at least it seemed so. Tarja avoided it to look into Tuomas' face when he entered her room after she had called out for him, and he didn't mention her breakdown either. "Can I help you somehow?" he asked instead, making the young woman nod. "Yes... Well... I hope you can..." she blushed and glanced down again, then cleared her throat before she spoke on. "I'd like to take a bath..." "Oh." Tuomas mumbled, normally, this wasn't a problem for him, but normally, the people who took care of weren't as distant and cold as Tarja was. "Let's get you into the bathroom then..." he added after a few moments, and she nodded, obviously uncomfortable as well. Tuomas waited until she had climbed into her wheelchair, then followed her into the bathroom. The Care Center that had rebuilt her home as far as necessary had put a special seat into her bathtub, making it possible for her to get in and out of it easier; still, she needed help with it, since she was everything but used to it. Tuomas waited patiently until she had undressed, then gently lifted her out of the wheelchair, blushing a bit when he felt her naked skin underneath his hands. "I'll go make the breakfast", he informed her as soon as she sat in the tub safely, "just call out if you need me." Tarja nodded, and the young man turned and left, carefully closing the door behind himself. He sighed to himself, knowing how uncomfortable this had been for her, and made his way into the kitchen to prepare the breakfast, listening to the sound of running water from the bathroom while he did so. Quite some time later, he heard Tarja calling out for him, and he gulped, knowing what would come now. Still, he stopped his work on the breakfast, which luckily was almost done, and made his way into the bathroom where the young woman sat in the water, giving him a shy glance when he entered. “Can you... help me out?” she mumbled as soon as he stood next to the tub, looking away from him and down at the reflection of her face the water provided. Tuomas nodded, moved the wheelchair aside and placed a big towel on the ground before put up the sleeves of his shirt. When he was done with that, he leaned over the tub and lifted Tarja out of it, once more amazing the young woman slightly with his surprising strength. He put her down on the towel and straightened back up, smiling slightly. “Get yourself dry”, he then advised her, making her nod, “and get dressed... If you need help, I’ll wait outside...” Another nod, and Tuomas left the bathroom again, closing the door behind himself. He heard Tarja rustle around with the towel and the clothes for a while, then a small groaning sound when she pulled herself into the wheelchair. Moments later, the door opened, and Tarja looked up at him, wearing fresh and clean clothes and obviously feeling much better, now that she had had her bath. “All done...” she then stated, and the young man smiled at her, nodding. “Great. Let’s go have some breakfast then...” Tarja agreed, and the two made her way into the kitchen, Tuomas silently thanking the Gods for the fact that at least at the moment, Tarja didn’t seem too annoyed by his presence. He quickly finished the breakfast while Tarja moved over to the table, watching him in silence; then, he turned back to her, holding up two cans. “I didn’t know if you prefer coffee or tea, so I made both...” At this, Tarja even smiled a bit, the first smile she had given him since he had started to take care of her. “Tea is just fine, thank you...” she then mumbled, making him nod while he put the cans down on the table and placed a cup in front of her. “Hope you like pancakes...” he then added, moving back to the stove as he spoke. Tarja nodded again, watching how he put two of the pancakes he had made on a plate and placed it on the table in front of her as well. After this, the young man helped himself to some food and coffee too, then took a seat and both started to eat in silence, hanging after their thoughts. After a while, Tuomas broke the silence. “We should go shopping today. Your fridge is soon gonna be empty otherwise.” Tarja sighed at that, the thought of going – or rather rolling -, out into the public obviously not appealing to her. She realized though that Tuomas probably was right, and both of them had to eat after all. When they were done with eating, the young woman spoke up. “Let’s get this done as fast as possible...” Tuomas agreed, sensing what was bothering her, and waited while she left to get her purse and jacket. Only ten minutes later, both were on their way – after Tuomas had helped Tarja to put on her shoes – to the next grocery store. The young woman obviously felt more than uncomfortable when she rolled down the street next to her caretaker, her gaze focused strictly on the way ahead of her. Every time she heard someone laugh, she was convinced that they were laughing about her; every time she saw someone whisper to someone else, she knew that it was her they were talking about. Some people who passed her stared at her openly, others looked away after a short glance, but the looks all hurt the same, no matter how long they lasted. Every time someone gave her a look filled with sympathy, Tarja felt the strong urge to jump up and strangle certain person, regretting it immediately afterwards that she couldn’t jump up anymore. Finally, Tuomas and she arrived at the grocery store, and the young woman hoped that the looks would stop at least there. “Do you want anything special?” Tuomas asked as they entered, making her shrug slightly. “Get whatever you want...” she then mumbled, glancing up at him for a second. “I don’t really care...” Tuomas gave her a concerned look at that, but didn’t make a comment; he just nodded and organized one of the carts, then the two started to make their way through the store, Tuomas collection various goods and Tarja watching him in silence. A surprisingly short time later, he was done, and the two made their way over to the cashier. When Tarja reached for her purse to pay the food Tuomas had chosen, he waved his hand at her. “No, leave it... First shopping’s on me...” he then smiled, and for one moment, Tarja wasn’t sure if she should be thankful for that or hate him again for his obvious pity. Then, she smiled weakly. “Okay... Thanks...” She put her purse away and let Tuomas pay; then, the young man put the stuff he had bought into the two bags before they left the store again. On the way home, Tarja once more gave her best to ignore the looks the people around gave her, being so busy with that she also missed the worried glance Tuomas threw at her. She did notice it though as soon as they arrived back in her apartment, when he asked her almost casually while putting away the things he had bought. “What’s wrong?” Tarja looked at him, gulping – she never would have thought that her dismay showed so openly. “Nothing”, she then tried to lie, hoping and praying that he wouldn’t ask on. She didn’t want to have another crying breakdown like the one the night before, not in front of him again. “Don’t lie to me.” Tuomas softly spoke, crouching down in front of her so he was on eye level with her, holding her gaze. “You stared straight ahead as if it might hurt you to look left or right on the way to the grocery store, and the same when we went back home. What’s bothering you?” All Tarja could do was stare at him, her lower lip quivering slightly. She could feel the tears threatening to well up and swallowed hard, trying her best to hold them back. “It’s... It’s just...” She fell silent, a thick lump in her throat suddenly making her unable to speak. Tuomas just waited patiently, knowing that she would speak on when she was able to. “It’s the looks they are giving me...” Tarja finally managed to press out, then glanced away from Tuomas and down on her legs. “Those pitiful looks... Pitiful or shocked... I don’t want them to look at me like that...” “I know.” Tuomas gently replied, slowly reaching out and putting one of his hands on hers. “It’s just their way of reacting.” He then added, making her look up at him again. “It will stop hurting someday.” The young woman just nodded in reply, knowing that she would burst into tears if she opened her mouth now. Just like the night before, Tuomas hugged her wordlessly; this time, she returned his hug immediately, shaking in his arms and still fighting against her tears. Tuomas held her tight, caressing her back until she finally calmed down again and her shaking stopped. This time, she didn’t pull back immediately though; she remained in her helpers embrace, her breath warm against his neck. “How did it happen?” Tuomas suddenly asked, this made Tarja pull back and look at him. “You don’t know?” Her voice was filled with honest surprise, and it showed clearly in her eyes when Tuomas shook his head. “I never do. The doctors are not allowed to tell me, and I don’t ask the nurses.” “I see...” Tarja mumbled, not answering his question though. Again, Tuomas waited for her to speak on, and finally she did. “It happened at work.” “An occupational accident?” he asked, now sounding surprised as well. Tarja shook her head. “Not really... It started just like every day did... Everything had been as always, but then...”

...but then, the masked man entered. Everyone inside the bank knew immediately that this guy only could mean trouble, and when he pulled out a gun that looked real enough to be scary, they had their knowledge confirmed. “Nobody move! This is a raid!” The guy stated the obvious loudly; Tarja gulped, but she knew what she had to do. This was one of the first things she had learned during her apprenticeship after all. Slowly, as unobtrusive as possible, she moved her hand to the hidden alarm button underneath her desk. Her arm froze in mid-air when the robber suddenly looked at her, his gaze holding hers for a moment. “Your bad. You moved.” He then spoke, and before she could do anything else but let her eyes widen, he brought up the gun and...

“...and shot me.” Tarjas voice was almost inaudible, shaking again with held-back tears. “The bullet perforated my spine... That’s how it happened...” Tuomas was obviously shocked to hear this, his eyes had widened and he stared at her in disbelief. “Oh my God...” he finally managed to press out. “Tarja, I’m so sorry...” Tarja just glanced away from him in reply, and when he put his arms around her again, she lost the battle against her tears once more.

“Better now?” Tuomas gently asked quite some time later, when Tarjas flow of tears had stopped again. The young woman nodded in reply, the different feelings inside her busying her too much to allow her a verbal answer. On one hand, she was grateful that Tuomas had been there and had comforted her; on the other one though, she still was somehow convinced that he only did all of that because he felt sorry for her, and to make it even worse, she was ashamed for her second breakdown as well. “Do you want some tea? Or maybe water?” the young man now offered, tearing her away from her thoughts, at least a bit. “Yes please... Tea would be nice...” Tarja mumbled in reply, running a nervous, shaking hand through her hair while he got up and made his way to the oven and put up some water for the tea. While he waited for it to start boiling, he looked at the collection of different kinds of tea Tarja had in her cupboard, finally deciding that camomile was the best in her state. He pulled one of the small teabags out of the pack and waited until the water finally boiled, then placed the bag in a fresh cup and poured the water over it. Only a short time later, Tarja held the tea cup with both hands and slowly drank from it, hoping it would calm her down a bit. “You know”, Tuomas spoke up again while she still took small sips from the hot tea, “maybe we should go outside a bit... It might do you good...” Tarja just shrugged in reply, then sighed and looked at him, deciding that it couldn’t hurt to be a bit more open with him – somehow, he had showed her that he cared already. “I don’t know if I really want that.” She honestly replied. “I don’t think I can stand the looks of the people outside that long...” “Just ignore them.” Tuomas suggested, then gave her a mischief little grin. “And if that doesn’t work, I can always sit down on the ground next to you and cry like a baby. That will surely draw their attention away from you.” At this, Tarja let out a small giggle, something that surprised both Tuomas and her – but the image of Tuomas sitting on the ground and crying like a baby just was too funny. “I want to see that.” The young woman then said, smiling weakly at him and making him grin. “Well, you should hope then that the people stare at you like this”, Tuomas opened his eyes as far as he could, making it look as if they would fall out of their sockets and seconds, “or otherwise I won’t do that.” “Please don’t look at me like that, it’s scary.” Tarja gave back, giggling once more afterwards. Tuomas stopped as she wished and gave her a broad grin instead. “So? What do you think?” he then asked. Tarja considered it for a while, then finally nodded slowly. “Alright... I guess I have to get outside sooner or later anyway...” she then mumbled, letting out a small sigh afterwards. Tuomas gave her an encouraging smile and nodded before he got back up on his feet. “Let’s go then.” The young woman nodded again, and the two made their way outside into hallway where they both put on their jackets. Afterwards, Tuomas helped Tarja to get into her shoes again, although she already was making progress on that, and only a few minutes later, the two were in the elevator again, on their way down. “Any special place where you want to go?” Tuomas asked her while they waited for the elevator to get to the ground floor, and Tarja made a thoughtful face in reply. “Well”, she then started, “there is this park nearby... I often went there when I was out for a walk...” “Let’s go there then”, Tuomas suggested, the young woman nodded once more in reply. The elevator finally reached the ground floor and its doors opened; Tuomas grabbed the handles of Tarjas wheelchair and pushed her outside, getting over to the entrance with her. “The weather’s really nice today”, he stated as soon as the two were out on the street, making Tarja agree. “Yes... Really nice...” She glanced down the street, mentally preparing herself for the looks and the whispering already. “So where is this park?” Tuomas’ question interrupted this, and she glanced over her shoulder and up at him. “Down that road”, with that, she pointed into said direction, “and then to the left... It’s hard to miss it... Just follow me.” Tuomas nodded and let go of her wheelchair, and she started to push herself down the road. Tuomas walked next to her in silence for a while, racking his brain for something he could say to distract her and tear her away from the musings that probably were running wild in her mind again. To his surprise, it was Tarja who spoke up first this time. “Since when are you doing that already?” “Doing what?” Tuomas asked back, although he knew what she was talking about. “This job. This... caretaker thing.” The young woman gave back, craning her neck to look at him once more. “Six or seven years now”, Tuomas replied, smiling slightly at her. “Wow.” Tarja mumbled at hearing that. “Isn’t it depressing? All those... sick and disabled people you have to work with...” She gave him a doubtful look when he shook his head. “No... I know that this sounds corny and so clichéd, but it’s great to help them...” “I see...” Tarja trailed off, looking down the road ahead of her again. “Look, we’re almost there.” She made a vague gesture ahead, where the park was located. “It looks really nice.” Tuomas smiled at the sight of it, and both sped up a little to reach it faster. Finally they were there, strolling down the lanes and looking for a nice place to stop and sit. Tuomas got distracted from this though when he saw a small ice cream cart up ahead. “Hey look”, he called out, suddenly sounding as excited as little kids did when ice cream came into view, “ice cream... Would be great to get some...” Tarja gave him a slightly amused glance at his enthusiasm, but nodded. “Yes, would be nice...” Tuomas smiled at her brightly before he told her to wait and hurried away, over to the ice cream cart. Tarja watched him as he made his way over to the cart, to her own surprise finding herself smiling slightly. Even though she had disliked Tuomas in the beginning, almost had hated him, the way how he cared about her and always gave his best to make her feel good when she was down had changed her mind, and she realized – again with slight surprise – that she had grown to like the young man during the last days. I can be glad that it was him they sent to help me... she mused, her eyes glued to the young man buying ice cream up ahead. Who knows if someone else would have done the same for me... The way he held me when I cried... She remembered how good it had felt to have Tuomas’ arms around herself like that and let out a small sigh, her happy mood suddenly getting a bit darker again. Best thing would be to make yourself cry on purpose a few times in the future, so he holds you again... It’s not like any guy would hold you out of love anymore, now that you’re in this friggin wheelchair... a nasty voice in the back of her head spoke, making her mood fall even more. By the time Tuomas came back with the ice cream, she looked as grumpy as she had when he had picked her up from the hospital. “Hey”, he spoke, slight surprise about her changed facial expression in his voice. “Did something happen while I went to buy this?” With that, he held the ice cream he had bought for her out to her, and she gave him a fake smile, shaking her head while she accepted the ice cream. “No, everything’s fine... I just was thinking...” she fell silent again, not sure if she wanted to – and could – tell Tuomas what exactly she had been thinking about. “Thinking about what?” Tuomas softly asked, crouching down again so he could look into her eyes. Tarja sighed, glancing away from him and down on her legs. “About... about how small my chances are to find someone to love now.” She finally admitted, her voice shaking slightly. Tuomas gave her a look that showed honest surprise, but still she thought he was making fun of her for a moment when he asked “What? Why do you think that?” “Are you serious?” Tarja gave back, her voice having a hint of the cold and snappy tone again. “Maybe because I’m a cripple in a wheelchair, that’s why.” She then added, the tone of her voice changing once more to a bitter one. “That doesn’t make you a less loveable person.” Tuomas replied softly, and this made the hard and cold expression in Tarjas eyes soften as well. “...you think so?” she then mumbled, letting out a small sigh afterwards before she added “I don’t know... I can never be sure now that... if I find someone... that he will be with me because he loves me and not because he feels sorry for you...” At this, Tuomas took Tarjas hand, holding it gently. “I’m sure that you will find someone who will be with you because he loves you, honestly and truly.” He reassured her, making the young woman sigh once more. “I just hope you are right...” she then mumbled, glancing at him again. I really hope he is... I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone... “I always am.” Tuomas now replied, making her smile at him weakly at last. “And you’re so modest too.” She then gave back, Tuomas just chuckled in reply and nodded. “I know, I know... I’m overall perfect, huh?” The only reply he got to this was that Tarja rolled her eyes, then grinned at him; he returned her grin, glad that he had managed to cheer her up a little again.

Quite some time later, Tarja and Tuomas returned into the apartment of the young woman, both feeling much better after the walk they had taken. “How long will you stay here with me?” Tarja demanded to know while she took off her shoes and jacket, looking up at Tuomas who shrugged in reply. “As long as you need me to... As soon as you are able to handle everything alone, I’ll leave, but you can always call me after that... and I’ll still be your driver when you need it...” At this, Tarja suddenly giggled, making him raise one eyebrow in surprise. “What’s so funny about that?” “Well, except for driving me home from the hospital, you didn’t drive me anywhere else yet, so I think that the job description Driver doesn’t really fit.” Tarja replied, making Tuomas grin and shrug. “If you want me to drive you somewhere, just tell”, he then gave back, grabbing the handles of her wheelchair and pushing her over into the living room. “I’ll come up with something”, Tarja promised on the way, craning her neck slightly to look up at him. He just nodded and grinned, sitting down on the couch when the two reached the living room. “Anything special you want to do tonight? Or just stay at home?” he then asked, causing Tarja to let out a thoughtful “Hmmm...” in reply. “Well”, she then started slowly, “maybe it would be nice to do something... Cinema maybe... I don’t know...” “Cinema sounds nice”, Tuomas agreed, glad that Tarja considered going out and didn’t just want to hide in her apartment – this always was a good sign. “Let’s see what’s playing...” With that, he grabbed the newspaper and checked the program of the nearest cinema, reading it out loud to Tarja. After some discussion about if scary or romantic movies were better, the two finally had managed to decide what they wanted to watch, and Tuomas left the room to call and make a reservation. He made sure to ask the clerk if the hall where the movie they wanted see was played had a wheelchair ramp; when this was clear and confirmed, he reserved two seats in the last row, then ended the call and returned to Tarja to tell her that everything had worked out fine, not knowing what kind of surprise what await them at the cinema.

“Oh... This is really... well...” Tuomas mumbled a few hours later, when Tarja and he had arrived at the cinema and looked at their seat. To Tuomas’ big embarrassment, the clerk on the phone when he had ordered the tickets obviously had thought that Tuomas was going out with his girlfriends – and had given them one of the cuddle seats. Those seats, big enough for two people to sit next to each other comfortably, were perfect for couples, but for Tuomas and Tarja, it just appeared weird. “I can... go and ask if we can have two normal, separate seats...” Tuomas now suggested, but to his surprise, Tarja shook her head after considering it for a few moments. “No... I guess it’s ok... Since you talked me into watching a scary movie, you have to protect me, and this works best in those seats...” To her amusement, Tuomas blushed visibly, but then nodded at last. He waited until Tarja had moved herself out of the wheelchair and into the seat, then slowly sat down next to her, still feeling weird. He was glad when the advertisements started on the screen, distracting him from the fact that he was right next to Tarja, without anything between them. The distraction failed though when the movie itself started and Tarja moved closer to him during one of the scarier scenes, obviously seeking his protection. Gulping, Tuomas glanced over at her without her noticing, wondering what he should do now. After a few more minutes, he finally and slowly put his arm up and around her shoulders, not able to keep the smile out of his face when Tarja immediately moved closer to him at his gesture. She glanced at him and gave him an almost shy smile; he smiled back, then both concentrated on the movie again, although in the back of their heads, they wondered if something that hadn’t been planned was starting to form between them.

“That was a really nice movie”, Tarja spoke two hours later, on her way out of the cinema with Tuomas walking next to her. “Although it was quite scary at some parts.” “Yes, I noticed...” Tuomas gave back, grinning at her in a mischief way, “every time you nearly crushed my hand...” He earned a dirty look from Tarja at that, but it only made his grin widen. “Hey, it’s the truth... I can prove it... Look...” he then insisted, showing his hand to Tarja. The young woman blushed visibly when she realized that his fingers indeed were quite red. “Oh... Oops... Sorry.” She mumbled, making Tuomas chuckle slightly. “Don’t worry, it’s okay”, he then calmed her down, causing her blush to fade while she smiled slightly as well. “Lucky me then.” She joked, and the young man grinned and nodded. The two reached the exit of the cinema, and he pushed the door open so Tarja could make her way out without any troubles. As soon as she was  outside, Tuomas followed her, letting the door fall close behind himself. “Want to go home already?” he asked as soon as the two were out on the street, looking down on Tarja. “Or are you up for a drink? As a nice ending for the evening?” Tarja considered this for a few moments, then nodded. “Yes, a drink would be nice... Do you know where we can go?” At this, Tuomas nodded, pointing down the street. “There’s a nice bar down there.” “Alright, let’s have a look at it.” Tarja agreed, and the two started to make their way down the street, over to the bar Tuomas had mentioned. “I know the owner”, Tuomas informed Tarja just when they reached it, “so we probably will get the drinks for free.” He winked at her and pushed the door open, holding it afterwards so Tarja could enter. As soon as she was inside, Tuomas entered as well, and the two got over to one of the free desks after Tuomas had waved hello to the owner of the bar. They hadn’t been sitting for a minute when the owner of the bar already stood next to their table, looking at them. “Hey there Tuomas. Nice to meet you again, it’s been a while... What can I get for you and this nice lady here?” “I’ll have some iced tea”, Tuomas gave back, then glanced at Tarja. “And you?” “The same...” Tarja gave back, obviously not feeling all too comfortable anymore. The bar was filled with people, and again she had the feeling that everyone was staring at her, that every time someone was laughing or whispering it was about her... She forced herself to stop glancing around nervously, telling herself that she only was paranoid and that nobody probably cared about her anyway. Well, nobody except for Tuomas... At this thought, she looked at the young man who was busy talking to the owner of the bar, for the first time fully noticing how handsome he actually was. Wow... Never realized how blue his eyes are... Without even fully noticing, Tarja reached out and put one of her hands on Tuomas’, holding it gently; surprised, Tuomas glanced at her, then smiled and squeezed her hand, making her smile as well. Tuomas returned his attention to his friend, listening to what he was telling about the latest adventure he had had. Tarja gave her best to concentrate on his talking as well, although Tuomas suddenly seemed more interesting to her than this guys babbling. “...it really was great, you know”, his friend now spoke, making Tarja glance at him again. “It’s awesome to stand in that balloon and see the landscape pass by...” At this, the owner of the bar let out a dreamy sigh, and Tuomas smiled at him. “Sounds nice. I might do it too some day...” He almost felt how Tarjas mood fell next to him, and he glanced over at her in worry while his friend told that he still had some customers to serve and left. “You okay?” Tuomas asked as soon as his buddy was out of earshot, making Tarja sigh. “Yes... More or less... You know, I always wanted to ride in a balloon... But I guess it won’t be of much use now anymore, huh?” Tuomas just caressed the back of her hand with his thumb in reply, looking at her in silence and finally making her sigh again. “Oh well... Guess there are still enough other things I can do.” “That’s the right way of thinking”, Tuomas encouraged her, giving her a warm smile. Tarja smiled back, although it faded when Tuomas pulled his hand back and rose from his seat. “Sorry”, he apologized, looking down on her, “but nature calls. I’ll be right back.” At this, Tarja giggled and nodded, then watched how Tuomas made his way through the crowd and finally vanished in the washrooms. Sighing, the young woman leaned back into her wheelchair and took a sip from her drink, almost choking on it though when suddenly a voice came from her side, obviously speaking to her. “Hey there, Cutie... Lemme have a look at your face...” A wave of alcoholic breath followed this words, and Tarja glanced at the man who had been speaking in disgust, wondering who he was and what he actually wanted from her. Her eyes went wide at what he said next. “Yeah, you’re as cute up close as you look from afar... Pity you’re just a cripple though, I bet you would be even better if you could walk... Your legs must be great...” “Leave me alone, you drunk slob”, Tarja replied coldly, trying hard not to show this guy how much his words actually hurt her. “Awwww”, the guy replied, smiling at her and blowing another wave of his smelly breath into her face, “come on, don’t be that way... You know what? I guess it’s probably boring to screw you, since you’ll just lie around and do nothing with those legs of yours, but if you pay me good, I might give you a quick pity fuck....” At this, all Tarja could do was stare at him, disbelief and pain showing clearly in her eyes. “You... You...” she stammered out, not believing what this man just had said to her. “So what? How much will you pay, huh?” the guy went on, chuckling when the young woman’s eyes started to glisten suspiciously. “No money huh? Crying because of that? Well, if you give me a blowjob good enough...” He obviously had wanted to say more, but suddenly, two hands gripped his collar and jerked him up and away from the young woman. Before anyone could react, the sound of a fist meeting flesh followed the unexpected motion, and moments later, the guy stumbled back, holding his bleeding nose while Tuomas glared at him in anger, his hands still clenched into tight fists. “You take that back right now.” He now pressed out between teeth that were clenched as well while the guy slowly took his hand away from his face, his fingers bloody. “The hell I will!” he yelled back, glaring at Tuomas who just held his gaze coldly. “You’re nose is broken. Your jaw’s next. It’s up to you.” All Tarja could do was stare at Tuomas at that, but she shrieked when the drunk guy who had insulted her threw himself forward and attacked her friend. The two were wrestling on the ground for a while, both landing punches now and then – although Tuomas, who was sober, had a much better aim than his opponent. He didn’t manage to break his jaw like he had threatened, but after a rather short time, the drunk guy started to yell that he would give up. Panting, Tuomas got on his feet, ignoring the blood that was trickling down his face, and stared at the whimpering man on the ground. “Get out of my sight”, he then snarled, “before I change my mind and beat the crap out of your brainless little head.” Scrambling to his feet, the guy shot one last helpless look at the people around, but all of them had heard what he had said to Tarja and just looked back at him in disgust. Finally, he realized that no one in this bar would help him and hurried up to leave; Tuomas waited until he could be sure that he was gone before he finally sat down again next to Tarja, gritting his teeth when he fully started to feel the pain coming from the body parts where he had been hit. “Oh my God”, Tarja breathed out at the sight of the blood that was slowly trickling down his face. “You’re bleeding...” “It’s not bad”, Tuomas calmed her down, but it obviously didn’t work, since the worried expression didn’t leave Tarjas face. “Come on... Let’s get you home... This needs to be cleaned...” she mumbled, not able to take her eyes away from the swollen and busted lips and the wound on Tuomas’ cheekbone where the skin had burst open. Nodding, Tuomas got up, gritting his teeth again, and the two made their way out to his car.

“I can’t believe you attacked this guy like that...” Tarja mumbled a short time later while she carefully moved the cloth she had soaked with iodine over Tuomas’ wounds, cleaning them as gently as possible. Even though she gave her best not to hurt him, she couldn’t do anything about the iodine burning in his wounds, and he grit his teeth, groaning from time to time. “He deserved it”, the young man then gave back, looking at Tarja with a weak smile on his face, only to flinch and yelp in pain when she moved the cloth on to the cut in his cheek. “Sorry”, Tarja apologized, “but that’s necessary... Don’t want those cuts to get infected...” “I know, don’t worry...” Tuomas gave back, another slight smile following his words. “And about beating up that guy... I didn’t hear everything he said to you, but what I heard... was enough for him to deserve it.” Tarja sighed at that, then looked at Tuomas, the sadness that suddenly welled up in her eyes so great that it almost pained the young man physically. “It was nasty, yes... But... you know... I’m scared that he’s right...” She fell silent, swallowing heavily. Tuomas reached out and took her hand into his, holding it gently. “He’s not.” The young man replied, making sure that she was looking at him before he spoke on. “I told you... You’ll find someone to love again.” Tarja just sighed again and shrugged, glancing down on her legs in dismay. “Yes, maybe you’re right... But even if... What can you do with someone like me? Especially when you’re healthy? I’d always have to make sure that the restaurant or café is wheelchair-friendly, that there are wheelchair seats in the cinema... You get my point...”  “I know”, Tuomas gave back, still holding her hand gently. “But this shouldn’t worry you. The Helsinki Care Center publishes a guide twice a year where all the wheelchair friendly locations are listed... So don’t worry about that.” Tarja smiled at him weakly at hearing that, then surprised him suddenly leaning forward and hugging him. “Thanks for defending me like that”, she whispered into his ear while he slowly returned her hug. “It meant a lot to me...” Tuomas just nodded in reply, and when Tarja pulled back, the two smiled at each other in silence, the young man still holding the hand of his friend.

When Tarja finally had finished taking care off Tuomas’ wounds, both were more than tired already, and so it came that only shortly after she was done, Tarja laid in her bed, sleeping soundly. Tuomas wanted nothing more than to sleep as well, but since there still was something he had to do, he forced himself to stay awake. Making his way to the phone, Tuomas picked up the receiver and dialled a certain number, speaking as low as possible to the person on the other end of the line to make sure he wouldn’t wake Tarja up and ruin what he had planned for her.

In the next morning, the young woman woke up when knocking sounds came from her bedroom door; she rubbed her eyes before she pushed herself in an upright position. “Yes?” she then called out, although she already knew who was waiting in front of the door – there were only two people around after all. She smiled when the door opened and Tuomas poked his head into the room, returning her smile. “Good morning”, he then spoke while he entered, “hope you are fully awake. I have a surprise for you.” “A surprise?” Tarja repeated, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “You are not talking about your black eye, are you?” At this, Tuomas chuckled and shook his head; he already had admired his black eye in the mirror after he had gotten up, but it wasn’t really a surprise that it had formed. “Nope... About something else, but if I tell you, it won’t be a surprise anymore... Breakfast is ready, by the way, so I’d say you get up and we eat, so we can leave soon...” Nodding, Tarja got out of the bed and into her wheelchair, wondering silently what Tuomas had planned for her while the two made their way over into the kitchen. After they had had their breakfast, Tuomas brought Tarja outside and to his car, helping her into it before he got in himself and started the engine. “Have to put this on you”, he then said, holding up one of her scarves, “or else the surprise will be ruined too early.” Getting more and more anxious, Tarja nodded, allowing it that he leaned over and tied the cloth over her eyes. After he had made sure that she couldn’t see anything anymore, he stepped down on the gas pedal and started to drive, the young woman next to him playing with the hemline of her shirt nervously the whole time, wondering what was awaiting her at the end of this drive. She didn’t know how long Tuomas had been driving through the streets, but finally, the car stopped. “We’re here.” He informed her, putting his hand over hers though when she moved it up with the intention to take off the blindfold. “Not yet.” The young man smiled, then Tarja heard how he got out of the car. He walked around it and opened the door on her side, getting her out of it and into her wheelchair. “When can I take it off?” Tarja demanded to know while Tuomas started to roll her away from the car. “Only a few more minutes. Just wait”, Tuomas gave back, then moved her down some unknown way in silence. Finally, Tarja felt his hands at the back of her head, undoing the knot that held the blindfold over her eyes, and moments later, the cloth vanished and she could see again. When the young woman saw what exactly was waiting for her, her eyes widened and her hand came up to cover her mouth. “Oh my God...” Smiling, Tuomas crouched down behind her and whispered into her ear “Like it?” All Tarja could do was nod, still staring at the hot-air balloon that was waiting for Tuomas and her with her eyes wide. “How... How will this work out?” she then asked, glancing away from the balloon and back to Tuomas. He smiled at her, replying “They put in a special seat for you, so you can sit comfortably and see something at the same time.” “Wow...” Tarja mumbled, not believing that Tuomas had organized this for her. “Thank you...” she then added, looking from her friend at the balloon once more. “So?” Tuomas asked, still smiling, obviously happy about her excited reaction. “Ready to go?” Tarja nodded and let Tuomas push her over to the balloon and the owner of it, who stood next to it waiting patiently. “Good evening”, he greeted the two, smiling, “I take it that you are Mr Holopainen and Ms Turunen?” The two nodded, and the man’s smile widened even more. “Welcome, then. You can start the ride immediately, just let me explain how it works...” After everything was explained and clear, Tuomas helped Tarja into the seat that had been mounted into the balloon, then got in himself and started the flame. While the balloon slowly started to rise from the ground, Tarja got herself comfortable in the seat, letting out a happy sigh. “Wow... Never would have thought that I would get to do something like this...” Tuomas smiled and put one hand on her shoulder, then suddenly moved closer and put his arm around her, holding her gently. “I’m glad you like it...” he softly spoke, making Tarja glance at him, her eyes shining with happiness.    “It’s awesome... Thank you so much...” After those words, she hugged him tight, and he returned her hug, smiling widely. “Nothing to thank me for...” he then mumbled while he pulled back from the hug slightly so he could look at her, his arms still around her. Tarja looked back at him in silence, her eyes clearly reflecting everything she felt for him. Slowly, the young woman reached up and placed a gentle hand on Tuomas’ cheek, caressing him.  “You did so much for me...” her voice was barely audible, not much more than a whisper. Tuomas looked as if he wanted to reply something to that, but  before he could do so, Tarjas lips suddenly were on his, kissing him gently. Surprised, it took Tuomas a few moments to react; then, he tightened his hug around the young woman and responded to her kiss, their hearts both speeding up when it deepened.  After a wonderful eternity, Tarja finally pulled back slowly, ending the kiss just as gentle as it had started. The two smiled at each other in silence, the young woman still caressing Tuomas’ cheek. “Thank you so much...” she repeated, hugging him tight again and leaning her head against his shoulder while he caressed her back gently. They remained like that for a while, then finally parted again to enjoy the sight that presented itself to them and the flight with the balloon.

Two wonderful hours later, Tarja and Tuomas were back on the ground and sitting in the car again, driving back home. Tarja found herself unable to stop smiling during the drive; her hand rested on Tuomas’ upper leg, and from time to time, she glanced over at him. They had kissed a few more times during the flight, and now, Tuomas took every chance given to steal another kiss from her, preferably at red traffic lights. “If you keep going on like that, we will cause a traffic jam.” Tarja mumbled at another red light and between two kisses, only to make Tuomas smile and shake his head. “No... I’m having an eye on the light...” he then reassured her before he kissed her again. Moments later, the angry honking of the cars behind them tore the two out of their kiss, and with his face brightly red, Tuomas hurried to drive on. “Seems like you didn’t look good enough...” Tarja teased him while they left the by now green traffic light behind, making him blush even more. “Obviously...” Tarja giggled and patted his leg gently, making him smile at her again while he kept driving through the city, back to her apartment.

Quite some time later, the two laid on Tarjas couch, the young woman snuggled up to her new found lover, with his arms around her, his hands resting on her stomach. “Never would have thought we end up like that when I picked you up from the hospital...” Tuomas mumbled into her ear, his warm breath on her cheek making her shiver. She smiled and nodded, craning her neck so she could look at him. “Same here... Especially considering the fact how I treated you in the beginning... I’m really sorry for that...” “Don’t be”, Tuomas calmed her down, reaching up with one hand to caress her hair. “It’s okay...” he then added before he leaned down to her and kissed her once more again, obviously not getting enough of her warmth and taste. Tarja responded to the kiss immediately, silently thanking destiny that it had sent Tuomas to her and that she had found someone to love again.

A few hours later, both Tarja and Tuomas were fast asleep, the young man this time not sleeping on the couch, but in the same bed with Tarja. He was holding her close to himself, her head resting on his shoulder, both of her arms around him. Their peaceful sleep was disturbed though when Tuomas’ cell phone rang, tearing them both out of their dreams. “Oh, dear...” Tuomas groaned, sitting up after Tarja had moved away from him, “who’s calling at such a time?” He crawled out of the bed and over to his pants, searching through the pockets until he found his phone. While he pushed the button that took the call, he sat down on the edge of the bed and ran one hand through his hair, glancing at Tarja and giving her a weak smile. She smiled back, although she too wondered who was calling Tuomas at this time and would this person could want from him. “Yes?” the young man now mumbled into the phone, his dismay about this call showing in his voice clearly. He listened in silence for a while, from time to time glancing at Tarja again. “Okay”, he then finally spoke, “I’ll be there as soon as possible... Yes... Okay.” With that, he hung up and looked at Tarja pitiful. “I’m sorry, Sweetie, but I have to leave... It’s an emergency...” Surprised, Tarja nodded, wondering what kind of emergency this was that it made Tuomas get out of bed and on the road in the middle of the night. “I’ll be back as fast as possible...” he mumbled to her now, then kissed her gently, caressing her cheek. “Sleep well until then... if anything happens, just call me.” After those words, Tuomas kissed her once more, then put on his clothes and hurried off, leaving the still slightly stunned Tarja behind. “Wow...” the young woman mumbled to herself, slowly lying back down on the pillow. I wonder what was so important that he had to leave in the middle of the night like that... Couldn’t it wait until tomorrow? Why didn’t he tell me what kind of emergency it was? She swallowed heavily, her mind suddenly filling with various images of Tuomas kissing and hugging another woman. Maybe that’s his mysterious emergency? A nasty voice whispered in the back of her head. Maybe he just started this thing with you because he feels sorry for you and now his real girlfriend demands a visit... Bet she’s a healthy woman... Tarja shook her head, not wanting to think any more about this. “No... He wouldn’t do that...” she mumbled, more to the nasty voice inside her head than to anyone else. Says who? You don’t know him well enough to say that... You only know him for a few days... Maybe he does that with all his female patients... Tarja shook her head again, her heart racing painfully in her chest. She needed to get this clear, now. With this thought settling in her mind, she grabbed her wheelchair and got herself into it, making her way over to the phone afterwards. Grabbing the receiver, Tarja quickly dialled the number of Tuomas’ cell phone, waiting nervously for him to pick up. There came a click, and then a female voice asking “Yes?” Shocked, Tarja slammed the receiver back down, staring at the phone as if it had played a trick on her. This can’t be... Her heart raced in her chest again, so fast that it hurt. Who was this? Why does she call him over in the middle of the night? Oh, my God... Dazed, Tarja made her way into the living room, staring out of the window there, her mind running wild.

Tuomas didn’t come back until the morning dawned, and Tarja couldn’t go back to sleep anymore until then. When she finally heard his spare key turn in the lock, her heart clenched in her chest. During the last sleepless hours, she had had enough time to think about the happenings of this evening over and over again, convincing herself that Tuomas indeed had been with another woman and that he only was with her out of pity. She heard his steps coming closer to the bedroom door and closed her eyes, not sure if she wanted to see him anymore. He opened the door and slowly entered, obviously giving his best to be silent and not to wake her up. “You don’t have to be quiet, I’m awake”, Tarja mumbled, the sound of her voice immediately showed Tuomas that something was wrong. Still he smiled and walked over to the bed, sitting down on the edge and reaching out to caress Tarjas face. “Sorry that it took so long...” he had wanted to say more, fell silent in surprise though when Tarja almost jerked away from his touch, for the first time looking at him. Her eyes were filled with the coldness he had seen so often during the first days again, and his heart skipped a beat at the sight. “Tarja...? What’s wrong?” he carefully asked while she sat up, glaring at him. “I’m sorry too that it took  so long.” She replied coldly, making him look back at her in surprise. “Sorry that it took me so long to realize what kind of game you are playing with me.” She then added, all Tuomas could do was stare at her in reply. “Game?” he finally managed to stutter out, appearing utterly clueless and angering her even more. “Tarja, what...” “I don’t need your sympathy and your pity, you hear?” Tarja now interrupted him, her voice clearly showing her anger. “What are you talking about?” Tuomas demanded to know, wondering silently what had caused this change while he had been away. “Don’t pretend you don’t know... Where have you been, Tuomas? Where were you?” Tarja snapped back, and the young man gave her a helpless look. “I was with a patient... She needed some help...” he then explained, his heart clenching up at what Tarja said next. “Oh, really? Help with what? Help with getting satisfied? Why don’t you admit it that you have another woman, and are with me just to make me feel better?!” At this, Tuomas’ eyes widened, and he shook his head. “Tarja, no... That’s not true... I don’t have any other woman. I’m not with you just to make you feel better, I’m with you because I love you!” “Sure you do”, Tarja replied bitterly, glancing away from him and over at the wheelchair for just a second, but long enough for him to notice. “Surely a man like you would love someone like me... At least stop lying to me!” At this, Tuomas only shook his head, then suddenly got up and leaned over the bed. Tarjas eyes widened when he picked her up and placed her in her wheelchair, ignoring her struggles. “What are you doing?” she barked out while he grabbed the chair and started to push her over to the door, not minding the fact that she was only wearing her night shirt. “If you don’t believe me when I tell you that I love you, I have to show you otherwise”, Tuomas replied harshly, his voice shaking suspiciously. And with that, he pushed her out of the apartment and over to the car, putting her inside it despite her protests. Getting in himself, he started the engine and drove off, down the still silent street. “What are you doing?” Tarja snapped, not sure if she should be angry or scared now. When Tuomas glanced at her with tears listening in his eyes, both those feelings vanished completely, and suddenly, she just felt disappointed and sad, still not sure if she could believe his love. “You don’t believe me that I love you?” Tuomas now asked, his voice shaking slightly, while he stepped down on the gas pedal harder. “Fine... Maybe you will if I crash this stupid car and get myself into the wheelchair as well...” With that, he looked at the street ahead of him again, pushing the gas pedal down even further, while Tarjas eyes widened visibly. “W-what?” She stammered out, not getting a reaction from Tuomas though – except for him speeding the car up even more. “Tuomas, stop it!” Tarja cried out in panic, glancing from the tachometer back to the face of her friend. He just shook his head, the tears streaming down his cheeks by now. “Maybe you will believe me then...” he pressed out, staring out on the road, the landscape flying by outside. Gripping to her seat tightly, Tarja couldn’t help herself, but just had to start crying as well, her fear mixing with the realization that she had been wrong the whole time. “Tuomas, please... Stop it... I believe you... I really do... and I love you too... Please, stop the car...” the young woman croaked out helplessly, her body shaken by a racked sob afterwards. Tuomas glanced at her for a moment, and she held his gaze, silently pleading him to do what she was asking of him. She closed her eyes in relief when the car started to slow down, and when it finally stopped at the right side of the street, the young woman leaned over as far as she could and hugged the crying Tuomas tight, both of them shaking all over. “Never do this again... Never scare me so much again...” Tarja whispered, burying her face in the neck of her beloved. “I love you...” Tuomas croaked out in reply, making her pull back slightly and look at him. “I really do, Tarja... Please believe me...” She just nodded in reply, then leaned in to kiss him; he held her as tight as he could when she did, his kiss almost desperate. “I’m sorry for not believing you.” Tarja whispered after the kiss, leaning her head against his shoulder while he put both arms around her and held her close. “I just thought...” “Don’t worry about it anymore.” Tuomas mumbled into her ear, caressing her back. “I understand your worries... But I would never do something like this to you.” “I know.” With that, Tarja pulled back slightly again and wiped off his tears, smiling weakly at him when he did the same for her. After this, Tuomas gently took her face into his hands, kissing her once more. She immediately responded to the kiss, now fully knowing that everything she had him suspected and accused of had been wrong – this kiss showed it, showed the deep love he felt for her. Pulling back, Tarja smiled at him while he still caressed her cheeks, then moved a bit closer to him so she could rest her head on his shoulder while he started the engine again. Smiling, Tuomas put one arm around her and drove with the other one; the drove in silence for a while, then the young man spoke up again. “Do you want to go home again? Or just drive around for some longer?” Tarja looked up, smiling slightly. “I don’t care...” she then mumbled, leaning her head on his shoulder again. “No matter where we go... I’m always on the road to salvation with you.” she then added before she kissed him again, knowing now that his love for her was true and honest and that she finally could be fully happy again.

End.

The truth is, my entire "teenagehood" was tied in with Harry Potter. I picked up the first book when I was twelve, just after my dad kicked the proverbial bucket, and I never put it down again. The last book was building up a hype as I was writing my finals.

And all my friends and family were into it too: sunny afternoons lazing around the living room, discussing theories and inexplicably shameful crushes on fictional characters. My erstwhile bestfriend and I had many heated discussions about Snape. She was pro-Snape, I was anti-Snape. This is what we did instead of going out, getting drunk and shagging. (I'm still not sure whether I'm happy or sad about that.)

Harry Potter fanfiction was my toe in the door to writing. Before fanfiction, I scribbled something here and there, but then I found this world and I was hooked. I learned the basics of writing there. And I do mean the absolute basics: spelling, grammar, critique. A large deal of my youth passed in front of the computer screen, glued to writing a Voldemort/Hermione fanfic (as opposed to surfing porn on the sly).

I even grew up to be a witch...back in school, my erstwhile friends (Christians) warned that Harry Potter was causing curious kids to pursue witchcraft etc. Of course, back then, I didn't know anything about paganism, Wicca, or Witchcraft; and nor did it matter to me. I only became interested in it a couple of years later, and not, I promise you, because of Harry Potter, though of course those erstwhile friends of mine would probably disagree.

I imagine they are very smug these days, knowing that I "turned out wrong" - proves their point, doesn't it? Not really, but they won't ever realize this. One of these ex-friends is actually studying to become a Pastor, and I fear that I'm a case study in progress. My deviation from the norm will probably cause several kids to lose their Harry Potter escape (at the hands of bezerkly panicking parents). Sorry for that, folks.

Luckily I've found the Twilight series. You'd think vampires and horny teenagers and rampaging werewolves would somehow upset concerned mothers more than a wizarding school, but apparently not. Hell, there's even a site devoted to these "Twilight moms".

But it could never beat Hoggy warty Hogwarts - Padfoot Lives!!

“It’s kind of odd to find it raining here, especially at this time of year. Don’t you think, Itachi-san?” Kisame began the conversation.

Silence remarked Kisame’s words.

At Kisame’s surprise, Itachi walked further into the middle of the rain. He lifted his face and let the sky rain straight onto his face. It was no tender drizzle, though.

Itachi was never much a talker. Kisame knew it well and already got used of his words being replied with only silence. After all, he thought he would let his partner mourn for his brother’s death for a moment.

“We shouldn’t stay out here for too long,” said Kisame when he realized that the mourn time had been longer than he thought it should’ve been.

His partner remained silent still.

“Look, I’m not sure about what you’re thinking. And that I know you’re a ruthless man, it’s kind of strange to say this. From here, it looks like you’re crying.”

Still, Kisame only got a cold back and not even a single word.

“It’s certainly a shame about your little brother, Itachi-san. You are now the only left of that Uchiha clan.”

“No.”

Kisame was surprised. Not only to that Itachi had replied him, but even more with his reply implied.

The rain became calmer and tenderer on Itachi’s face.

“My brother is not dead yet. And also….” Itachi turned his face to Kisame, “the storm has passed.”

The sun showed up. Itachi slightly looked upon it and let the sun bathe him with warmth.

“The four-tail is done.” His partner had finally come with victory on his katana.

Itachi gazed at the so called four-tail hung on Kisame’s huge katana.

“Looks like he’s almost dead,” said Itachi while walking along his partner, “Be careful to handle such old man, Kisame.”

“Itachi-san, you wouldn’t say that if you knew this guy. He’s quite the Jinchuuriki. He’s good at many elemental fusions.”

Itachi looked upon his partner’s face. It showed some pride. Kisame had defeated his Jinchuuriki by himself, after all. But those of Kisame did not seem to please him so.

“You don’t have the first-hand experience of fighting him. You wouldn’t understand the problem I went through.” Kisame smiled.

Itachi didn’t remark a word. He stayed quiet. He felt the rain was so tender on his face. Just by then, he closed his eyes for a moment and let the rain bathe him even more.

Existe en la red varios foros dedicados a la crítica de los fanfictions, Los Malos fics 2.0,, Los Malos Fics y sus autores y el foro dedicado a recoger los mejores fics, Los Buenos fics y sus autores

A lo que llegamos al quid de la questión, ¿se debe exigir calidad en los escritos llamados fanfictions?, ¿podemos pedir a esta gente que acepte las críticas y trate de mejorar?

Conociendo desde dentro la labor de los críticos virtuales me he encontrado con reacciones de todo tipo: personas que aceptan las críticas y mejoran, aquéllos que no lo hacen y se empeñan en crear fics peores, y los que se desentienden e incluso llegan a insultar a los críticos por haber dicho algo diferente al halago común que el fanautor espera.

Ahora, que dentro de los foros y en el cerrado círculo de los críticos sí llegan a expresar desdén e incluso aversión por la clase de fics publicados en fandoms que ellos manejan, es cierto. Pero en todo el tiempo que llevo al tanto y dentro del mundo fandomero, no me ha tocado que sean ellos quienes abran, por así decirlo, el frente de batalla.

Así que, mis queridos tres lectores, ¿ustedes, si llegasen a entrar en el mundo fanficker, exigirían calidad?

[This pic of Tusna isn't mine. Duh.]

Woo hoo! I'm still alive!

Did anybody miss me? [*chirp, chirp*] M'kay. Guess not.

Oh well. Screw all of you.

Anyways, I have SO much new stuff under my ff.net account--I even have someone here who actually tried it out.

Always glad to have the fans.

[Well, unless my inbox is dying. Then it's debateble.]

Glad to be back!

=ashii.chaN [mangarox14]

[Ps. If any of you haven't read a manga (and anime as well, now) called "Soul Eater", try it! The animation's amazing. The drawing isn't, but the plot makes up for it. Well, if you can handle ecchi. ;) ]

Disclaimer: this will be the last disclaimer I'll be writing coz I really dont like to repeat myself over and over again...I DONT OWN OURAN coz if I do, Tamaki would be an UKE to everybody and Kyouya will be with me every second of my life..well,guess i cant do that..*sigh*
------------------------------------

Chapter 2

"Eh??!!" the host club members choked out except for Kyouya and Mori. The twins released Haruka as she stepped forward to meet Haruhi, who's running towards her, with wide-open arms.

"Ahmpff!" Haruka groaned as she felt that she was loosing her balance,"You're a bit heavy now, aren't we Haruhi? And why on Earth are you here?"

"I was about to ask you too Haruka-chan! All I can remember is that you flew to America to reasearch. Aww! I really miss you Haru-chan!" Haruhi hugged the girl in front of her.

"Haru-chan?" Hani asked staring asked staring at the two.

"Yes?" they both answered and chuckled.

*Haruhi's POV*

"Which 'Haru-chan' are you referring to, Hani-senpai?" I asked.

"Yeah!!Haruhi and I usually call each other like that," I heard Haruka giggle as she released me.

Hunny shook his head, "i should make a nickname for Haruka-kun," he jumped at his suprise when Tamaki and the twins shouted.

"NO FAIR!!!HARUKA, THATS SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!!"they shouted on top of their lungs.

Haruka and I both looked at each other and gently poke our own right cheek with our own right fore finger, "sexual harasmment?" we both have my famous 'clueless look'.

"Aww!!They look identical!"the twins hugged each of us. Hikaru hugged me and Kaoru hugged Haruka.

"Okaa-san!DOUBLE SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!" Tamaki screamed while pointing at the group.

Kyouya pushed his glasses further,"Hikaru and Kaoru, stop that. We have some business to finish(at this the twins saluted to Kyouya,"Yes Sir!"). Grab Haruka and cut her hair like HAruhi's but dont dye her hair. Haruka, get those colored contacts of your eyes or I will be the one taking them off".

"She??"Tamki has his puzzled look again.

"Yeah," I answered as I wrapped my arms to Haruka, "Haruka is a girl but unlike me, she wears dresses when its really important or she wants to cosplay something"

*NORMAL POV*

Everyone was shocked except for Haruhi, Haruka, Kyouya and Mori. Recovering from the shock, the twins dragged Haruka silently in one corner and started to cut her hair. They have that sad look on their faces that can melt one maiden's heart.

"why, you guys sad?" Haruka put on her baby-pout and blinked twice.

"We like your hair that long,"they said in unison,"you look hotter with it,"they sighed.

"Well, my hair easily gets that long after 3 months or so,"Haruka fiddled her still long locks.

"Really?!"the twins stared at her wide-eyed.

"U-huh," she groaned,"I have researched and had created a formula to grow hair faster than they should. Im a researcher".

"Hmm...I remember that reason of yours Haru-chan," Haruhi chuckled,"but as I have remembered, you stopped school right? How come you're here?"

"I had graduated Mid-School yesterday".

"WHAT??!!" the trio freaked out.

'I think I'll explain her situation to you guys later after that hair cut fit for her. Haruka," Kyouya paused,"face me," Kyouya turned the chair of Haruka facing him. He cupped and lifted Haruka's face towards him,"I told you to take that contacts off. Now, I'll force you to take them off," Kyouya took Haruka's left eye contact and then the right.

"You're so rought on me Master Kyouya!" Haruka rubbed her eyes. Blue orbs appeared as she opened her eyes. The people around her is now more mesmerized to her beauty. She really looks cute.

*Kyouya's POV*

'OMG! I didnt really thought that was the real color of her eyes. She's so damn cute'

*Kaoru's POV*

'I never thought that such beauty exist on this world'

*Mori's POV*

'So, Im right? But, why blue eyes? I thought it was red or black[1]'

*Hani's POV*

'Wow! She's cute!' as I turned, I saw Takashi. His eyes flashed with adoration, 'I wonder what he is thinking'

*Haruka's POV*

'Now what?!' as I looked around me, their jaws dropped except for Haruhi's.

"Ne, Haru-chan, let's eat something!" I grabbed Haruhi's wrist and walked out of the room.

'RICH BASTARDS! I know, I look weird, so STOP LOOKING AT ME!' my mid screamed, "Ne, Haru-chan, lets go eat some ice cream," I stopped when I felt two pair of limbs embraced me. I forgot that I was holding Haruhi thats why she escaped from the hug.

"You're damn cute Haruka-chan," Kaoru whispered as he hugged me more tighter. I glared at them,"snap out of it! Im not in mood to play some stupid games Kaoru," they freed me and stood in front of me.

"We will let you pass..." Hikaru said.

"...If you play a game with us," Kaoru finished.

"LETS PLAY 'WHICH ONE IS HIKARU' GAME!!" they said in scary unison.

"The one on the right," I pointed,"is Hikaru, while on the left is Kaoru," I passed between them.

"boo boo!!YOU'RE WRONG!" they bend for more emphasis.

"No, Im right...Right, Haru-chan?"I turned and smiled,"Im a reseacher. A scientist. It's easy for me to observe," I said in very cold voice,"come on now, Haru-chan. Im starving".

"Ne, Ha-chan, can I and Takashi come with you?" Hani blinked awat those imaginary tears that formed in his eyes.[2]

"Of course, Hani-senpai, Mori-senpai," I smiled innocently,"but please, just call me Ruka-kun. I dont like the sound 'Ha-chan' do," I wiped those tears of Hani with my forefinger and carried Hani in my back,"lets go," we walked out of the room and clicked it close.

--->>>In our way to the cafeteria<<<---

"Ne,Ne, Haru-chan, Ruka-chan, lets go to one pastry shop I know," Hani giggled excitedly,"they serve ice creams too!"

Haruhi and I looked at each other and we said in perfect unison,"We cant afford buying high quality cakes sanpai".

"Ill treat you Haru-chan!"Hani winked at Haruhi whose beside me.

"Ill be the one paying your bill Haruka,"Mori groaned those words, as if he didnt want others to hear it except me. I stopped walking, letting Hani walk on his own.

I jumped to Mori and gave him a peck on his left cheek,"arigato gozaimasu Mori-senpai!" I saw him blushas he let me lose my grip and happily joined Hani and Haruhi. A smile reamined on Mori's lips as he followed us.

-----------------------------------

Author's Note: Okei!!end of chapter 2!!This chapter is dedictated to Ilona,the fonder of Prince Yuki fans club(just search the animefanlisting.org)first comment(wordpress)
Ill try updating more but cant promise it coz i hava to live my LIFE..but ill be happy to just stay put and type all day in front of my pc..anyways,R&R..ja

-LoLLiPoP-LoViNG oTaKu- ^_^v

While he continued his aimless wandering through the street, Tuomas drank the vodka he had bought, the alcohol keeping the cold of the night away; he didn’t pay attention where he went, and after he had halfway emptied the bottle, he didn’t care what other people thought about him anymore either. He started humming to himself, ignoring the strange looks the few people that passed him gave him; he was so caught up in his little world of being drunk that he didn’t notice how the stream of people passing him got more, all of them walking past him. Some of them stared at him openly, whispering to each other as he passed them by and hummed Tarjas song to himself; he never noticed any of that, letting his feet carry wherever they wanted to carry him, not realizing how close he was to the brink of changing his life completely.

Letting out a sigh, Tarja leaned back into the comfortable chair that had been put up in the backstage extra for her, carefully balancing her cup of tea on her upper leg while she rested her head on the backrest of the chair and closed her eyes. The concert had tired her out, almost as much as the shows in the past had; she knew that she should get up and make her way into the hotel to have a nice warm shower and some sleep there before the tour would continue in the next day, but on the other hand, the chair was just too comfortable. Another sigh freed itself from her throat before she brought up the cup of tea and took a careful sip of it; it was still quite hot, and she didn’t want to burn herself. “You okay?” The voice of one of her roadies, the guy responsible for her microphones, tore her out of her thoughts, and she raised her head to look at him before she smiled slightly. “Yes. Just tired”, she then muttered, taking another sip from the tea afterwards. “We should get you back to the hotel then”, the roadie smiled back while he stored away the cables that came with her mics, closing the bag afterwards. Tarja nodded, then let her head fall back on the backrest of the chair again. “Yes, but not now... Just a few more minutes”, she then mumbled, making the roadie shrug and nod before he came to his feet and walked away, out of sight. Closing her eyes again, Tarja listened to the faint noises of her roadies cleaning everything up while she moved her tense arms up and down, suddenly wishing for someone to pop up and give her a massage. A small smile appeared on her face when she remembered how Emppu often had massaged her back and shoulders after concerts during the time she had been with Nightwish, and how Tuomas always had watched this...  Her heart seemed to cramp up, and she swallowed heavily. No. Don’t think about him. Not now, not never... She forced herself to push the thoughts about the keyboarder aside, not wanting to think about his wonderful blue eyes anymore, about the hidden messages he had written to her in his songs... For a moment, she thought she had imagined his voice, then her eyes snapped open as she realized it hadn’t been imagination. His voice was outside, fully there, reality, and he was... singing. At least he seemed to try; to Tarja, it sounded more like yelling, and she could tell immediately he wasn’t fully sober from the sound of his voice. “Yooouuu wooouuuuld haaaavee looooved thiiiis!” He seemed to be screaming this on top of his lungs outside, since she could hear him in the safety of her backstage room; after sitting there dumbstruck for a few more seconds, Tarja suddenly jumped up, the tea cup falling down to the ground and shattering there, the remaining tea spilling over the ground unnoticed. Tarja ignored the puddle of tea seeping into the carpet, ignored the fact that she was still in her red stage dress; she just ran, her high heels clicking on the ground as she rushed out to the stage and through the audience area, to the front entrance where Tuomas’ voice could be heard the most. “Yoooouuu’vee aaaalwaayyys loooooo-“ His mixture of singing and yelling got interrupted by the harsh voice of one of the security guys, clearly annoyed. “Hey! Shut up, you drunkard! People are trying to sleep around here!” “Lemme alone you fool!” Tuomas gave back, his voice slurred, his words followed by the sound of glass breaking. Suddenly scared, Tarja sped up even more, pushing the door that led outside open moments later, facing a scene she never would have expected. Crawling around on his knees between shards of glass, Tuomas seemed to be looking for something, still mumbling the words of her song; she could tell how drunk he was from just looking at him being this way, and it pained her to the bottom of her heart. “Tuomas...” Her soft whisper was over toned by the security guy yelling at Tuomas to get lost; the tall man couldn’t see her, since he stood with his back to her and faced the keyboarder, but Tarja gained his attention. “It’s okay, Harri”, she softly spoke, making him turn around in surprise while Tuomas looked up as well, his eyes going wide. The security guy forgotten, Tarja walked over to Tuomas and stopped in front of him, looking down at him; he remained in his kneeling position, staring up at her for a bit longer before he looked down again. “That nashty guy broke my vodka”, he muttered, Tarja now realizing the sharp alcoholic smell that rose from the puddle on the ground and grimacing. “Get up”, she then spoke to the keyboarder, “you’ll cut yourself otherwise...” He ignored her, continuing his mourning over the vodka – until he leaned his hand heavily on one of the shards, a yelp of pain escaping him. “See?” Tarja sighed out, crouching down to pull him up. “You’re such a fool when you’re drunk, Tuomas...” Tuomas muttered something ineligible in reply, and this time, it was Tarja who ignored him, since she just pulled him to his feet with a surprising amount of strength. “I want my vodka!” Tuomas wailed while he let Tarja pull him up, obviously trying to find comfort in his alcohol now that he suddenly was facing her. “And I want you to get inside, or you’ll kill yourself”, Tarja gave back, ignoring his wailing. “For God’s sake Tuomas, it’s below zero and you’re not even wearing a jacket! Did you lose your mind?” “Lemme be”, Tuomas muttered in reply, allowing it though that Tarja led him into the concert hall and over to the backstage area where she made him sit down on the chair she had been using just a few minutes earlier. “Yeah, yeah”, Tarja muttered, not really taking him seriously. “Sit down here, and don’t wander off! Just sit here, okay?” “Okay...” Tuomas mumbled, hanging himself into the chair. Tarja sighed, shook her head and walked off, trying to find some clean water and a cloth she could use to clean the cut in his hand. Since she didn’t want to leave him alone for too long, she decided to use one of her soda bottles for the cleaning; a cloth was found quickly, and she was relieved to see him still sitting there when she returned. She knelt down in front of him and unscrewed the lid of the water bottle, then carefully poured some of it on the cloth she had brought before she took his hand gently. “This might hurt a bit”, she warned, even though she doubted he would notice it anyway. He didn’t react to her words, only watched how she carefully moved the cloth over the cut, cleaning it as gently as possible. While she did so, she noticed a dried trail of blood on his forearm; she frowned, and before he could stop her, she had pushed his sleeve up, exposing the older wounds and the fresh cut he had inflicted on himself. Her eyes widened, and her movements froze before she looked up at him shocked. “Did you... do this to yourself?” Shrugging, Tuomas looked away and down on the ground, making her let go of his hand and grab his chin, forcing him to look at her again. “Tell me! Did you do this?” “Yes”, Tuomas finally muttered, making Tarja stare at him for a moment with anger in her eyes – before her gaze softened, just like her voice did when she asked: “Why?” Shrugging again, Tuomas pulled his sleeve back down, not trying to keep her from doing it though when she pushed the other one up, exposing the healing cuts on his other arm. She stifled a sigh, gently running her finger down his arm, her touch making him shiver momentarily. “Why are you doing this?” she repeated, looking up at him again. He sighed and shrugged once more, even though he held her gaze this time. “I don’t know. To make the pain stop”, he then muttered, his voice still slurred. Shaking her head, Tarja came to her feet again. “Stop that”, she softly spoke to him, placing a warm hand on his shoulder. “It’s not good for you...” “Why would you care?” he snapped in reply, causing her to pull back her hand and look at him silently for a moment. “Just stop it”, she finally added after a few more moments of silence, then stepped back. “Come on, get up. I’ll ask my driver to stop at your home before we go to the hotel.” “Okay”, Tuomas muttered, coming up from the chair, swaying dangerously for a moment. Just when Tarja wanted to reach out and grab him to make sure he wouldn’t fall over, he stabilized himself and moved the sleeve Tarja had pushed up back down. Tarja was almost relieved when the wounds vanished out of sight; she didn’t comment about them anymore though, just waited until he was ready to leave before she walked him to the backdoor of the venue. The bus already stood waiting; Tarja made Tuomas climb into it before she told her driver he should make a stop at Tuomas’ home, making the long-haired man nod. “Wheresh your bodyguard?” Tuomas slurred while the singer made him sit down on one of the seats, causing her to raise an eyebrow at him. “Who?” she then asked, even though she knew very well what he was talking about. “Your bodyguard”, Tuomas repeated. “Marshello.” “He’s not here”, Tarja gave back, not wanting to tell him more – but he didn’t seem willing to give up so easily. “Where ish he?” he demanded to know, causing the singer to sigh. “Not here, okay? Just don’t ask...” Tuomas looked at her for a moment, then sighed and let himself fall back into the seat, closing his eyes. Shaking her head, Tarja sat down behind him, looking out of the window while the bus drove off, the only sound being the soft and constant humming of the engine.

“Wait here”, Tarja mumbled to her driver only fifteen minutes later, making the long haired man nod slightly. “I’ll just get him to his apartment.” With those words, she turned to Tuomas again, taking a firm hold of his upper arm. “Come on”, she sighed out when he didn’t move, “you have to get into bed...” Tuomas let out a groan in reply, but then rose from the seat, swaying dangerously again. Tarja tightened her grip on his arm, wrapping her other arm around his waist to keep him steady; holding him like this, she moved him out of the bus and over to the front door of the apartment house he lived in. She dragged him over to the elevator and pushed him into it, holding back a sigh; this reminded her of too many nights he had been like this on tour, and of too many hotel halls she had pulled him through on tour. She forced those thoughts aside when the elevator doors opened and pushed Tuomas into it, keeping him steady until they had reached the floor where his apartment was located. Slowly, Tarja moved over to his apartment with him, fumbling his key out of the pocket of his jeans when she realized he wouldn’t be able to do that anymore; he almost was asleep by now, hanging in her arms with his eyes halfway closed. Sighing heavily now, Tarja pushed the door open once she had unlocked it and dragged him into the apartment; she leaned him against the wall and took off his boots before she guided him to the bedroom, making him lie down on the bed there. “Don’t expect me to undress you”, she muttered, the only reply she earned being a tired snoring sound, followed by a slurred “Why not?”. Tarja glared at him, something he didn’t see, and made the mistake to ask “Why should I?” To her shock, Tuomas suddenly sat up and hugged her, muttering “Love you...” to her – and trying to kiss her afterwards. After a moment of shock, Tarja pushed him back, giving him another glare. “You’re drunk.” She then stated. “What are you talking about? Just sleep...” “But I... do love you...” Tuomas muttered, his eyes already falling close. Shaking her hand, Tarja sat down on the bed and looked at him for a while; when she was sure he was asleep, she got up and left the room, carefully closing the door behind herself.

In the next morning, Tuomas woke up with the usual hangover he always experienced after his vodka nights; he groaned and rolled over, burying his face in the pillow. His head was spinning, and his stomach was queasy; to make things even worse, he felt more than ashamed, knowing he had wandered to the concert hall where Tarja had been playing, singing loudly... His eyes snapped open, his view blackened though since he still had his face buried in the pillow. His heart started to race when he remembered he hadn’t just wandered to the venue, but had met Tarja, had talked to her... and that she had taken him here. Quickly, he sat up, regretting the fast movement when his head started to spin, hope filling his heart when he called out “Tarja?” There was no response, and his heart sank. He knew how unlike it was that she had spent the night here, with him as drunk and stupid as he had been; still he had been hoping that maybe... He stifled a sigh and shook his head, getting out of the bed slowly. He rubbed his head while he walked over into the kitchen, eager to get himself some coffee; he needed that after all the vodka last night. When he reached the kitchen, the white envelope that had been put on his fridge with one of the magnets he kept for such thing caught his attention immediately, after all, it hadn’t been there the night before. Curiously, he made his way to the fridge and removed the envelope from it; he sat down on the kitchen table before he opened it and pulled out a folded piece of paper, as well as something that looked like a ticket. Frowning, Tuomas unfolded the paper, immediately recognizing Tarjas handwriting before he even had started to read.

“Tuomas,

I hope you slept well and aren’t too hung-over. If you feel like going out tonight, I left you a ticket for my next concert, as well as a backstage pass. It’d be nice to meet you there.

Tarja

PS: Come sober!”

He smiled weakly at the PS she had left, then let out a sigh and put the note on the kitchen table. It wasn’t written in the most loving way, much to his dismay; he wondered why she only had called him “Tuomas”, without adding something like “Dear” or at least a friendly “Hello”. “Well, at least she wrote it’d be nice to meet me there... At least she wrote anything at all without just vanishing.” He mumbled to himself, picking up the backstage pass and looking at it. After a while of considering if he should go there or not, he made his decision; he dropped the ticket on the kitchen table and got up to finally prepare himself some coffee, not looking at the coloured piece of paper once more.

The applause that greeted Tarja was surprisingly loud, accompanied by some whistles and a few people yelling her name; it wasn’t exactly the best behaviour for a Christmas concert, but Tarja didn’t mind, she smiled brightly at the crowd while she let her eyes wander, hoping no one would notice it. Her smile faded a bit when she spotted a few known faces in the crowd, but not the one she had been looking for; still she kept searching for his face while she walked to the front of the stage, stopping there and finally stopping her glancing. He’s not here... I should’ve known he wouldn’t come... She forced those thoughts aside when the first notes of her first song came up, concentrating fully on her voice and the lyrics she had to sing; she managed not to think of Tuomas anymore during her songs, even though her heart ached after every piece she finished and couldn’t spot him again, her mind circling around the question if she had made a fool of herself when she had left him the note and the ticket.

The last notes of the last song faded away, and for a moment, Tarja thought she would lose the fight against her tears. She had hoped during the whole concert he would show up, the childish and naïve part of her hoping that he would be there and hug her and everything would be okay again, like it had been when they had started with Nightwish; he hadn’t come though, and now she felt her eyes burning with unshed tears. She bravely fought them back, not wanting to cry in front of her audience; the people in the first row might have noticed something, but no one let it show if they had. They all just smiled and applauded, all of them obviously more than happy. Tarja wished she could be able to share their happiness, but the disappointment of Tuomas not showing up here even though she clearly had invited him weighted on her heart too heavily to let her. Still she smiled for the cameras her fans had brought, patiently letting take them a whole load of pictures before she took her final bow. She waved at the audience once more, then turned and left the stage at last, making her way to the backstage area. To her dismay, the roadie who had promised to wait with her tea after the concert was nowhere to be seen, and for a moment, she considered to blow up at someone for the first time in her career. Then she decided she wouldn’t; it wasn’t fair to take her disappointment about Tuomas’ lack of appearance out on a roadie who probably just was busy. She sighed and made her way to the small room that served as her wardrobe, eager to get out of the dress she was wearing and into her regular clothes. She entered the small room and closed the door behind herself; just when she wanted to undress, a knock came from the door though, making her glance over in surprise. “Yes?” she then called out, frowning when there was no answer. “Who’s there?” she repeated, the only reply being that her door was knocked again. Annoyed, Tarja made her way to the door and opened it harshly, preparing herself to snap at whoever thought that this was funny. Her breath got caught in her throat when Tuomas smiled at her sheepishly, holding up a tray with a can and a cup on it. “Tea?” All Tarja could do was stare at him, then a wide smile suddenly broke out on her face, it was as if the sun came through the clouds on a stormy day to him. “You’re here!” she called out, making him smile and nod before he stepped into her room, placing the tray on a free seat. “And I’m sober”, he informed her, making her smile again before she suddenly hugged him tight, surprising him. After a moment, he returned the hug, tightening it around her while he smelled the scent of her hair, a smell he had missed so much in the past year. “Tarja”, he started, his voice shaking, “I...” She silenced him, placing a finger on his lips. “Shht”, she then whispered to him, “don’t talk now... Just let me enjoy having you back...” He smiled slightly at hearing her words, then nodded and hugged her again, closing his eyes when she leaned her head against his chest. He gently caressed her back, making her let out a small sigh; they stood like that for a while, then Tarja pulled back a bit, smiling up at him. “I’ve missed you so much...” she admitted, blushing slightly when she spoke on. “I’ve missed it to hug you...” “I know”, Tuomas replied, smiling at her. “I’ve missed it too... And...” He stopped talking, leaning towards her and singing softly into her ear: “I’ve always loved this...” Smiling, Tarja reached up to caress his cheek, whispering “And I would have loved this...” before she leaned up and kissed him gently, finally giving in to the longing she had felt for such a long time. He responded to the kiss in a way that showed her he had longed for it just as much; they both got lost in feeling so close to each other, body and soul, that all thoughts and worries of the past were blown away, as well as all worries of the future. While he tightened his hug on her, Tuomas knew that now, all pain and misery would be gone; he finally had found the final cure for his suffering, the knowledge making his heart almost hurt with love for her, a pain he was willing to live through, and a pain that he hoped would never stop.

End.