Tags » Expectations

Young Spirit // Poya Livälven

Poya Livälven

This month´s young spirit is Poya!

Do you have any interests?
I have a lot of interests; I am quiet evolved in social and political issues. 1,616 more words


A Step Towards Healing: Part II

In my first Step Towards Healing, I highlighted a book that sparked an awakening and awareness in me about what I had experienced through childhood and how it had affected me in becoming an anxious and mal-adapted young adult. 1,196 more words


greg w reblogged this on club east: indianapolis and commented:

Okay, this is something I need to come back to several times over to really carefully contemplate what the author at childhood laundry is presenting. He is doing an analysis of Dr. Robert J Ackerman's thoroughly developed “Perfect Daughters: Adult Daughters of Alcoholics” -- a deeply written yet very accessible book. What I find so interesting in the attached post is that Resilient Brilliance -- the host of childhood laundry and himself a recovering adult child of an alcoholic -- leaves virtually no stone unturned in getting to the painful, angry history of his own disease. Moreover, it challenged me to examine my own history as the child of an alcoholic and the choices I proceeded to make in such an environment.

... There is a section in the book called “Childhood Lessons.” This section urges the reader to look back on their life and identify whether or not they learned these unintended lessons within the process of adjusting to an alcoholic family and coming-of-age. Below are the selections from the larger list of lessons that I highlighted because I realized that I had been living these lessons my whole life:

If I can control everything, I can keep my family from becoming upset.

Whatever happens is my fault, and I am to blame when trouble occurs.

People who love you the most are those who cause you the most pain.

If I don’t get too close emotionally, you cannot hurt me.

Nothing is wrong, but I don’t feel right.

Expressing anger is not appropriate.

I’m unique, and my family is different from all other families.

I can deny anything.

I am not a good person.

I am responsible for the success of a relationship.

To be acceptable, everything must be perfect.

Dr. Ackerman goes on to write, “These childhood lessons become imprints or beliefs that you ave about yourself, and they begin to dictate your expectations of yourself and your behaviors…However, you have survived and somehow you have maintained some balance in your life. Therefore, you must have learned other lessons that have served you well or have allowed you to survive.”

Don't hurry through this incredible post, and be sure to follow the links. One cannot rush, if serious about wanting to know more about what drives our broken thoughts and feelings in the midst of our disease. Equally important, it's just as fascinating to watch this all develop... very much as slowing down as the scene of a very bad car wreck. Afraid to look for fear of what one might see, yet compelled to look nonetheless.

Expecting from the wrong one

Since the beginning of the world human have adopted  within its self a quality or rather a bad quality called EXPECTATIONS.

  People in this world are in pain because of  sticking to the trait of expectations,knowing that it has nothing in return to give back.. 131 more words

What Surrender, Again?

There are no coincidences in this experience called human life. Every second orchestrated in beautiful harmony whether we can see it in this present moment or not. 314 more words

High-Ayye-Tuhs or not

I have failed to update this as often as I can. I can only blame my priorities right now (oh who am I kidding my oppas are my problem) 178 more words

Follow Your Dreams, Not Someone Else's

I was inspired to write this post because schools and colleges are back in action this month and some people may be feeling the way that I was. 406 more words

Alesbianspeaks' Random Thoughts

Realistic Expectations

How realistic are your expectations?

What are you exepecting that is always leading to disappointment?

Expectations can be incredibly unrealistic espacially when we expect them from people!! 213 more words

Life Digest