Life is constantly evolving. Even the people or things that have been with you for what seems like forever, can leave. Right now my life is evolving on many fronts. I’m starting school in January. I’ve lost the friend I’ve known the longest and made connections, reconnecting with two people that I thought were lost. So many things are changing and yet I’ve never felt more grounded.

I’m ready and open for the next evolution.

I realized I’ve been neglecting part of my kink. A big part. This is probably because of my excitement at being able to explore/blab about my sadism outside of the maximum-security portions of my brain.

My kinky fantasies have, from a very early age, followed a certain formula.

1. Man gets the shit beaten out of him.
2. Man gets tied/chained up.
3. Man is rescued by woman.
4. Woman nurses man back to health, which is often a very painful process.
5. Often, man gets recaptured and gets the shit beaten out of him again.
6. Woman rescues man again.
7. Recovery is painful.

Of course, since it was my fantasy, I got to be the bad-guy AND the rescuer, and therefore got to experience both sides. In my childish brain, which did not yet know the word sado-masochism, the fact that I rescued then took care of the imaginary victim after he got the living tar whipped out of him made it okay. When I was at war with myself about my sadism, I over-emphasized the healing part of the fantasy, trying to convince myself that the elaborate scenarios of torture and emotional breakings were all a set-up so I could imaginarily take care of him. I called it my “mother-complex,” which was really just another elaborate ruse to fool myself because as I grew older I became increasingly frightened of the fact that I was sexually aroused by my fantasies. That was bad, that was wrong, that was sick, etc. I was fucking terrified, and in oh-so-much denial.

The end result of all this was that I kink almost as much on my imaginary victims getting well again as I do having them scream and beg and bleed. Luckily for me, BDSM has aftercare built right in.

The healing aspect of my scenarios was the one that manifested itself in real life, since it was infinitely more socially acceptable. I’m pretty obsessed with Being Prepared, and walk around with a first-aid kit wherever I go (in the vain hope that I can save some bleeding person). I’m always the one with the extra bug spray, sufficient quantities of water, an extra bag, and a pound of safety pins all ready to take out in case someone needs them.

Someone once told me in vanilla-land as I described my obsessive preparedness, “You know, being prepared is an excellent way to be in control. And no one ever notices. It’s, ‘Oh, do you need an umbrella? Why I have one right here… Handwipes? Here you go.’ People will start to stick closer to you, depend on you.”

I fumed at him, because he was oh-so-right.

Being able to meet people’s needs is often viewed as a subordinate role, but it’s also an excellent way to remain in control. And this is going to sound very un-dommy of me, but I like to meet people’s needs. I like to be that good. I like to take care of people, even if it means tying them to the bed to keep them from going out in the pouring rain with a fever. Whoops. I just went somewhere else with that.

In my fantasies, when I’m taking care of imaginary victim, I’m doing all the work, meeting all the needs, doing all the healing and holding with endless, god-like patience, but those are fantasies. I’ve been in relationships where I felt it was an opportunity for me to express that part of myself, and what ended up happening is that I was always meeting the other person’s needs but they were never meeting mine. Admittedly I didn’t know what my needs were (it turns out it’s hitting people and telling them what to do. Go figure), but I knew I didn’t like always giving and never being able to take. In my fantasies I can give-give-give, but in reality I want give-take-give-take.

Enter my revelation that I am a sadist and that’s okay. Just to choose a random example, much as I adore the idea of denying a man orgasms and all the antsy-distraction-frustration-begging-fear-pain that goes along with it, what I love even more is the idea of giving a man many, amazing, multiple orgasms that leave him stuttering (but now my entire concept of orgasm is fucked, so I don’t even know if they’ll be good). Not just because it’s a beautiful to see someone else in pleasure, but because being able to pleasure someone, to meet their sexual needs, is an astounding form of control. And I like being in control. I might deny a man orgasm for a month, but afterward I’ll probably spend an entire day (week?) blowing him.

I had an incredibly traumatic and entirely unexpected conversation about my sadism with one of my best friends yesterday. This was the first person I came out to, a good three months ago, and we’ve had conversations about how I was learning rope bondage and other skills, and yesterday she told me she didn’t know who I was anymore, that my existence terrified her and was like finding out that the bogey-man really did live under the bed, that she didn’t believe that I could be a sadist and still want to help people by teaching them how to grow their own food and have access to clean water, and that this might mean the end of our friendship. This from a self-proclaimed sado-masochist who speaks favorably and often of making people bleed and reads the heaviest sado-masochistic literature I have ever seen, from someone who has accepted me through all my many faults and mistakes, who I have taken care of through sickness and drunkenness, who has supported me through the end of my romantic relationships and the strain of my relationship with my family, who I have taken shit from and for. Suddenly, I am too much for her to bear.

She compared me to Unit 731. That hurt.

The long and short of it is that I needed to escape yesterday, so I found a library that rented movies for free, and picked up a couple of Hayao Miyazaki films. Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away are two of my all-time favorite stories, and as far as I’m concerned as perfect as cinema gets.

There’s a scene in Princess Mononoke, where one of the characters has just been healed after being horribly wounded, and he’s too weak to chew a strip of meat to gain his strength back. So another character chews up the meat and feeds it to him with her mouth, like mother wolves to cubs, or mama birds to chicks. The day before she was trying to kill him after he took a bullet in the chest to save her life. After a moment he just starts crying. It’s one of the most powerful things I’ve ever seen in any story-telling medium, and one that’s resonated with me since the first time I saw it.

There’s another scene from Spirited Away, where the heroine is trying to save her friend. He’s gushing blood at the mouth, ripped and poisoned from the inside, and at the moment he’s a crazed twenty-foot long dragon. She pries his mouth open and sticks her skinny arm past his three inch fangs to force medicine down his throat, and then clamps his muzzle closed with her entire body as he thrashes.

Watching those stories while I was trying to get away from everything for a while made me remember that sadism and healing, and the idea that sometimes healing hurts, are irrevocably entwined in my head. Exploring dominance in the context of kink introduced me to the idea that that the “focus” is on meeting my needs. As someone who has come out of a lot of relationships always meeting the other person’s needs and never having hers met, this is a very novel, seductive idea. But neat as it sounds, and as much as I want to have my needs met, I get off just as much on providing for the needs of others. Which is why I have this fantasy of someday being with someone (or someones) where he’s focused on meeting my needs, and I’m focused on meeting his needs, and it’s this happy feedback loop. Who knows if that’ll happen. It’s a fantasy.

Which I guess means adding herbalism to my skill to-do list.

Diddy, Nas, Will.I.Am, Mary J. Blige also praise the president-elect.

The Barack Obama afterglow continues in the hip-hop community. Don’t think rappers are going to stop supporting the president-elect just because the election is over. Wednesday night in New York, Diddy, Jay-Z, Mary J. Blige and Keyshia Cole sang Obama’s praises while at a victory party/ Diddy birthday bash at the Mansion nightclub. And the Obama love continues to spread.

A piece of a Jay-Z song called “History” aired on New York radio station Hot 97 Wednesday afternoon and has since circulated on the Internet via radio rip sent around by former XXL magazine Editor in Chief Elliott Wilson. Hov raps about victory and defeat as if they were people, and the man whose mantra is “I Will Not Lose,” of course, leans toward his love of victory. The Jigga man has spoken incessantly about his support for Obama through his music, interviews and concerts.

First-time voter Busta Rhymes worked with producer Ron Browz on a new version of the street hit “Pop Champagne.” “We pop champagne for Barack’s campaign,” Browz sings with heavy AutoTune on his vocals. “We voted for a change, now we made it/ No disrespect to McCain or Palin.”

“To all my people in the street that always bang this in their truck/ We celebrating this Barack win/ Put your hands up,” Rhymes raps. He also spits about voting at 7 a.m.

“First thing I want to tell the fans or the people reading this is congratulations to them,” Busta told MTV News. ” ‘Cause at the end of the day, the possible reality of us being able to live this experience is impossible without the support and coming together. People took the time out and dedicated their lives. People wasn’t allowing nothing but death [to] stop them from getting out and supporting Barack. That was inspiring to me because it helped me realize that we will make the decision to do the right thing when it’s unanimously obvious that it’s the right thing. A lot of the times, we take for granted that the common man is not as smart to the do right thing. Election Day was a testament to prove everybody wrong who might have felt that way.”

Common kicked a verse of a record called “Changes” on Wednesday’s episode of “TRL.” On Thursday (November 6), the entire record hit the Net. The Chicago word wizard aspires to give the world hope, just like President Obama. “I found a purpose why I MC/ Inspire a young world to be greater than me,” he raps. “Travel on with the food I provide you/ To awaken the voice that’s inside you.” The record ends with the last few seconds of Obama’s presidential acceptance speech.

On Tuesday, Nas dropped “Election Night,” and Will.I.Am just released “It’s a New Day,” his third pro-Obama track.

Pro-Obama clip from Black Eyed Peas MC gets its online debut!

Now that Barack Obama has won the election, his longtime supporter Will.I.Am is premiering the video for his new song “It’s a New Day.” The Black Eyed Pea spent some time in a New York City studio recording his third ode to the president-elect.

Will stopped by “Oprah” on Friday to debut the new celeb-filled video for the track, and is also posting the clip to the site Dipdive. The video flashes pictures of Obama on election night and crowds celebrating the Illinois senator’s victory, alongside images of historical figures like Abraham Lincoln and Harriet Tubman.

And it wouldn’t be a Will.I.Am video without some celebrity appearances. This time around, he’s rounded up his bandmate Fergie, as well as actors Olivia Wilde, Jonathan Schaech and Kerry Washington.

“It was a beautiful thing,” he told Oprah of spending election night in Chicago. He also couldn’t find the words to describe how excited he is for Obama’s win. “I can’t really explain it,” he said. “I think of my grandma. I think of all the people who paved the way for that moment … like the invisibles who pushed the movement forward.”

When he released his first song about the then presidential hopeful, “Yes We Can,” Will gathered celebrity friends including John Legend, Scarlett Johansson and Common for the video. The next song, “We Are the Ones,” also had a star-filled video, this one featuring George Lopez and Jessica Alba.

The stars came out — and showcased some previously unseen footage — for the first taping of the MTV movie special.

BEVERLY HILLS, California — The Fine Arts Theatre was rocking tonight, as MTV, “Twilight” and hundreds of shrieking Twilighters packed a taping for MTV’s new movies show, “Spoilers.” Needless to say, a dazzling night was had by all.

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Kellan Lutz, Peter Facinelli, Jackson Rathbone, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Edi Gathegi and “Twilight” director Catherine Hardwicke were all in attendance as MTV paid tribute to the highly anticipated film, coming to theaters November 21.

The evening began with the film’s stars walking down the blood-red carpet, strolling past screaming fans as they went inside to introduce never-before-seen footage from the flick, based on the best-selling novel by Stephenie Meyer. (Check out some photos from the event here.)

“Shut up!” screamed Robert Pattinson from the stage playfully, attempting to be heard over the hundreds of shouting fans as he stood alongside his co-stars. Recruited by the MTV Movies Blog, the hardcore Twilighter audience had flown in from all over the world, and their “Team Edward” and “Bite Me” T-shirts showed that these were some spider monkeys eager to hang on for a wild ride.

After the lights went down, the fans were treated to an extended clip of the ballet-studio battle, the “Bella’s Lullaby” scene as performed by RPattz, full footage of Edward taking Bella to the top of an enormous tree to show her “my world” and the beloved Port Angeles scene. As fans screamed and applauded for the first appearances of Emmett, Alice and the others, they also saw the wooded scene where Edward reveals himself as a vampire, Bella’s love showing off his house (complete with cooking Cullens) and the kiss scene that left so many in the theater dreaming that they were Kristen Stewart.

After the lights came back up, Hardwicke took the stage to answer questions from hardcore fans who said they were fresh off the plane from places such as Boston, Texas and Vancouver — many had lined up as early as 8 a.m. for the evening’s event. The night’s biggest surprise happened moments later, however, when fan faves Lautner, Facinelli, Lutz, Greene, Rathbone and Gathegi came out onstage to join in on the fun.

Hardwicke crossed her fingers when asked about sequels, Lutz told a story about a fan who kept buying him hot dogs at a football game, and Taylor Lautner tried his best to explain how he’ll grow a foot before they shoot “New Moon.”

As the stars smiled and teased each other, the fans kept lining up with more questions, and the stars took every single one. One Twilighter was selected by the stars to come up onstage and get her shirt signed — but the evening’s biggest winner asked Lautner for a kiss. Eager to please, the actor leaped from the stage, ran into the crowd and planted one firmly on her cheek.

Keep your eyes on MTV, Twilighters, because we’ll be posting footage of the Q&A with the cast soon. And don’t forget: Even if you couldn’t make it to Beverly Hills tonight, you’ll have your own front row seat to all the “Twilight” fun when “Spoilers” premieres on MTV November 14 at 7:30 p.m.

Finance departments are using spreadsheets to tackle FAS 157, an approach few regard as optimum.

When FAS 157 took effect last November, many finance departments and business units faced a new accounting requirement but lacked any new technology with which to address it. To determine the fair value of a wide range of balance-sheet items, they turned to that old standby, the spreadsheet, to piece together models that they hoped would make sense to shareholders and auditors.

A year later, not much has changed. Spreadsheets are often still the starting point when trying to figure out what a portfolio of credit default swaps or a series of collateralized debt obligations would fetch on the market. That’s a worrisome thought for auditors and CFOs — especially because many users construct spreadsheets so poorly that the results may be impossible to verify.

FAS 157 builds on an older rule, FAS 133, which forced companies to divulge the fair value of derivative instruments. But FAS 157 goes a major step further, telling companies how to value the assets and liabilities on their balance sheets that they mark to market. It has affected financial companies in a big way. “If the subprime crisis hadn’t happened, FAS 157 would have been a ‘Who cares?’ kind of thing,” says Jiro Okochi, CEO of Reval, a New York–based vendor that recently added a 157 module to its software for managing derivatives. “Auditors wouldn’t have paid much attention.”

They do now. But while FAS 157 introduced a much stronger emphasis on the methodology behind fair-value calculations, that has not inspired software that can automate that process. “I haven’t seen a single solution in the marketplace that would address all the issues,” says Peter Marshall, a principal in Ernst & Young’s treasury advisory practice. “People are using existing systems and doing manual workarounds.”

Information Vs. Data
Most people, anyway. Wesley Walton, vice president of finance at CBC Federal Credit Union, has managed to tap newer technology, in this case an analytics function contained in software from Brick & Associates that allows Walton to perform fair-value calculations. But a credit union with just $300 million in assets and one primary software vendor has an easier time of it than larger companies.

Indeed, big companies face the irony of having too much software. A large bank will typically use different applications to handle accounting for bond transfers, commercial-lending decisions, and foreign-exchange transactions, to cite just three of many activities potentially affected by FAS 157. Therefore, multiple vendors must modify their systems to handle the dictates of FAS 157.

It also isn’t clear that FAS 157 can even be captured in computer code. The rule is partly intended to force companies to articulate how they arrive at valuations for illiquid securities — the so-called Level 2 assets, where there may be some observable inputs in the market; and Level 3 assets, where there is nothing comparable in the market and valuations are determined by models. Explaining valuation methods amounts to disclosure notes in financial statements, a form of information that doesn’t fit neatly into the fields of a database.

Still, a database, with its central controls and its knack for forcing information into a consistent format, is ultimately where all valuation information needs to end up, according to those who understand the pressures CFOs face in tracking and accounting for hard-to-value securities. The database can be the same one a company uses for other purposes — an Oracle database with programs written in Java, for example, or a SQL Server database with programs written for Microsoft’s .NET framework. “Those are all off-the-shelf,” says Duff & Phelps valuation expert Joseph Pimbley. “It’s not a case of a specialized firm inventing something new.”

Piece by Piece
In theory, the financial assets on a company’s balance sheet are ready-made for tabulation, sorting, and what-if analyses — work that software does well. So the earliest attempts to address FAS 157 have come as enhancements to asset/liability management (ALM) systems, the software used at banks and corporate treasuries.

“Many companies came out fairly promptly with a patch or upgrade” addressing FAS 157, says Denise Valentine, an analyst who covers asset-management systems for the Aite Group in Boston. British Columbia–based analytics provider FinCad and Reval are among the software firms that have added FAS 157 functionality to products that are live with clients. Bank of New York offers its clients a FAS 157 reporting package as part of its Workbench online portal of software tools.

The difficulty of addressing FAS 157 comprehensively hasn’t stopped software companies from tackling individual pieces. Reval was among the first to make it easy to see which financial instruments have moved from Level 3 to Level 2. That’s useful, because those assets could get a company, and its auditor, into trouble if their value later evaporated and the company had to justify their recategorization.

SAP is trying to sell banks on the idea of using its accounting for financial instruments (AFI) product to comply with fair-value requirements. Introduced three years ago for European banks, AFI functions as a financial-products subledger layer between the general-ledger and operational systems, taking data from such systems and putting it into a format that lets users value most financial instruments, while allowing some work to be done in decentralized systems.

William Behn sees the fear in their eyes. The senior vice president and managing director of SolomonEdwardsGroup, a CFO services firm, says that many of the executives he comes across are afraid that they are left behind in the world of “Web 2.0,” a maze of fast-moving innovations such as social networking, wikis, and blogs.

“Guys are asking me how to use it,” says Behn, of popular online tools such as LinkedIn. “I can see the fear in these 50-year-olds’ faces.”

For some executives this fear factor could be a serious problem. According to Polachi, an executive search firm, companies are looking for executives that can speak the language of Web 2.0, both to make their firms more efficient and to find ways to make money out of the ways potential customers are using the Internet.

“Companies are chartered with finding executive talent that understands Web 2.0 concepts and that possesses skills in leveraging it across all business initiatives,” says Rebecca Foreman Janjic, vice president at Polanchi.

Executives need to be using social media such as Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter so they can better collaborate with people in their companies and network with potential outside business partners, according to Polanchi. Combing the Web using RSS feeds is an important way of learning what the public is saying about a firm, and a corporate blog can be a useful method for a company to get its message out.

In fact, Janjic says that when she is scouting executives she would consider one that has a greater “Web presence” to be stronger than one that does not come up on sites such as LinkedIn.

“All executives need to have the mentality,” she says.

One reason is that for firms in many industries there are new opportunities for profiting from Web 2.0 that can be exploited. David Lavenda, vice president of marketing and product strategy at WorkLight, argues that companies need to be better at creating online gadgets and applications that interact with the websites that people use. The technology firm is trying to help companies use platforms like Facebook or Apple’s iPhone to make secure transactions.

“For most companies it’s pretty new,” says Lavenda of Web 2.0. “They know they need to get engaged, but they’re not all that aware of the issues and opportunities.”

According to a 2007 study by the Economist Intelligence Unit, a sister business unit of CFO.com, 80 percent of large enterprises believe that Web 2.0 technologies can improve revenues and margins. Of the 406 executives polled, 30 percent said they expect Web 2.0 tools to trim customer-service and support costs. Moreover, 71 percent of firms said they are already using, or plan to use, online communities for things such as marketing and product development within the coming two years.

Finance people seemed to be the biggest skeptics. According to the report, CFOs lag behind in support of Web 2.0 initiatives. They are less likely than other executives to view Web 2.0 as transformative, less likely to think it will affect all parts of the business, and less likely to say it will change the company’s business model. They are also less optimistic than their C-level peers about Web 2.0’s potential to increase revenue and margins.

Perhaps CFOs are just proceeding with extra caution into the Web 2.0 world. Last year the CEO of Whole Foods was reprimanded for comments that he posted on an online message board. Just last week Virgin Atlantic, the airline, fired 13 employees for posting inappropriate messages on Facebook. The contents of the posts ranged from claiming there were problems with jet engines on certain planes to poking fun at passengers.

Because so many are scared or skeptical, the savvy ones remain in demand. Executive recruiter Chuck Eldridge of Korn/Ferry International says that these days top technology firms are desperate for good finance chiefs who can handle businesses that are quickly evolving.

We are definitely noticing a strong desire for financial leaders in the online space,” says Eldridge. “The fast-paced, high-growth, technology-focused environments aren’t easy to navigate for some.”

Team Obama

While we wait to find out who becomes Treasury Secretary, here’s what Obama’s economic advisory board might say about some more specific corporate finance issues.

President-elect Barack Obama met today with his Transition Economic Advisory Board, part of an effort to develop “a strong set of policies to respond to the economic crisis.”

Flanked by his advisers, at a press conference following the meeting — his first since the election — Obama emphasized that he did not “underestimate the enormity of the task that lies ahead.” But he refused to end rampant media speculation by answering questions about new personnel appointments. To date, Obama has named only his chief of staff, Illinios Congressman Rahm Emanuel.

Many have said that the position of Treasury Secretary, in particular, should be filled quickly as the nation struggles with its worst financial crisis since the Great Depression. One of the pundits’ top picks for that position, former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker, 81, stood immediately on the President-elect’s left as he spoke.

“I want to move with all deliberate haste,” President-elect Obama said. “But I want to emphasize ‘deliberate’ as well as ‘haste.’ It’s very important in all these positions, both in the economic team and the national security team, to get it right.”

Yet even as speculation continues about who will hold the top titles within an Obama administration, the makeup of the President-elect’s advisory board provides a possible window into some specific corporate finance issues, from the move to international financial accounting standards to the future leadership of the Securities and Exchange Commission.

For example, Obama’s board contains both a former SEC chairman, William Donaldson, and a former commissioner, Roel Campos. Although SEC commissioners, including current chairman Christopher Cox, serve for set terms, Cox has said he will step down at the end of the Bush administration.

Donaldson, Cox’s immediate predecessor, would be an intriguing choice to once again lead the commission. The 77-year old Republican announced his resignation in June 2005, a move many thought was forced by the Bush Administration after he proved an aggressive regulator who did not offer the relief from section 404 of the Sarbanes-Oxley Act that some companies had hoped for. He also sought to extend the SEC’s authority over hedge funds.

This year, Donaldson has been sharply critical of “pendulum pushers” — those who he says have sought to move the regulatory pendulum too far toward deregulation. And although it was under Donaldson that the SEC first proposed a roadmap for eliminating the requirement that foreign companies reconcile their financial statements to U.S. generally accepted accounting principles, he has recently been critical of the rapid movement toward adopting International Financial Reporting Standards in the United States, referring to them obliquely as “vague, principles-based” financial reporting.

Choosing Donaldson, who recently called financial regulation as basic as the need for “stoplights on a highway,” would comply with Obama’s pledge to have a bipartisan administration, while also signaling an intent to rigorously police the financial markets.

Another possible, and younger, pick would be Democrat Roel Campos, who left the SEC in September 2007. Campos, the first Hispanic to serve on the SEC, pushed for shareholder access to proxy statements and other positions that were unpopular with the corporate community. He was also an advocate for small business, arguing in 2006 that that smaller companies should have more time to comply with the costly internal-control provision of the Sarbanes-Oxley Act.

Campos represented the commission in dealing with international regulators and served as vice chair of the Technical Committee of the International Organization of Securities Commissions. A Campos pick for SEC chairman could suggest a continued move toward global regulation of securities markets, albeit with much stronger shareholder controls.

Former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker’s position at Obama’s left during the press conference may represent no more than the importance that Volcker currently holds as an adviser, and if Obama were to appoint him to any position in the administration, it would almost certainly be as Treasury Secretary.

Yet most media descriptions of Volcker overlook his stint in 2000 as chair of the organization that created the modern International Accounting Standards Board. The speed of the recent move to adopt International Financial Reporting Standards in the United States, a move championed by current SEC Chairman Cox, is almost certain to come under scrutiny in an Obama administration. Yet Volcker would likely still support the overall goal of moving to international standards, even if the timetable were to change.

Obama’s Transition Economic Advisory Board includes:

• David Bonior (member, House of Representatives 1977-2003)
• Warren Buffett (chairman and CEO, Berkshire Hathaway) who participated via speakerphone
• Roel Campos (former SEC commissioner)
• William Daley (chairman of the midwest, JP Morgan Chase; former secretary, U.S. Dept of Commerce, 1997-2000)
• William Donaldson (former chairman of the SEC 2003-2005)
• Roger Ferguson (president and CEO, TIAA-CREF and former vice chairman of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve)
• Jennifer Granholm (governor, State of Michigan)
• Anne Mulcahy (chairman and CEO, Xerox)
• Richard Parsons (chairman of the board, Time Warner)
• Penny Pritzker (CEO, Classic Residence by Hyatt)
• Robert Reich (University of California, Berkeley; former secretary, U.S. Dept of Labor, 1993-1997)
• Robert Rubin (chairman and director of the Executive Committee, Citigroup; former secretary, U.S. Dept of Treasury, 1995-1999)
• Eric Schmidt (chairman and CEO, Google)
• Lawrence Summers (Harvard University; managing director, D.E. Shaw; former secretary, U.S. Dept of Treasury, 1999-2001)
• Laura Tyson (Haas School of Business, University of California, Berkeley; former chairman, National Economic Council, 1995-1996; former chairman, President’s Council of Economic Advisors, 1993-1995)
• Antonio Villaraigosa (mayor, City of Los Angeles)
• Paul Volcker (former chairman, U.S. Federal Reserve 1979-1987)

The hits just keep on coming. Between Oct. 6 and Oct. 10, the Dow Jones industrial average plunged more than 1,800 points, as forced sell-offs led to one of the biggest drops in the history of the index. Major markets are now down between 30% and 40% from last year. For anyone managing money or a business, or hoping to retire soon, it is a distressing, anxious time. The mood, on Wall, Bay and Main streets, is bleak.

Small wonder. After all, even the experts have been thrown off balance. Ben Bernanke, the head of the U.S. Federal Reserve, seems to be innovating policy on the fly, along with policy-makers around the western world. Multibillion-dollar economic decisions that would otherwise have involved years of debate are being made in minutes, between just a few people, and behind closed doors. And so actions that are designed to instil confidence end up working in reverse.

Get a head with magic sex. Become a wizard and wave your magic ” wand ” and make all your other needs come true. So by taking care of your sex needs you magically get a head in the rest of your life, money and career just appears…abrakadabra!!! Why? Because you build your need pyramid from bottom up, not that i am insinuating that you have some homosexual tendencies, nor that i haven’t some, or that this suddenly got totally out of HAND Look, look..you see how magic works, now the HAND work is gone meaning that we have body work instead, real sex finally. Nothing is ASS beautiful as people speaking fluently body language. Some even has it as their mother tongue, which may seem really perverted since we all hate to think about our parents sex, BUT to celebrate diversity i have decided that today some familiar licking is appropriate. So you build your need pyramid from the bottom. Take rapid care of the main needs and release resources to achieve the higher needs.  And by arranging your life in such a way that you easily can fulfill your bottom needs, you actually make the foundation to reach the top…to get a head in life! How long time do you need to get sex, i need 10 minutes. Asia is fantastic compared to Europe from a sex perspective. Not only that, the prostitutes threat you like a friend. Suddenly i don’t need to think about sex all day, it is as available as food, so now i sit in a restaurant writing a blog. Or more correctly i am designing my life, it is a higher need more difficult to achieve. Again, take care of the lower needs and they take care of your higher needs! Yesterday i got a mail from someone encountering the same problem as i, a growing number of people around the world is tried being mind controlled. This may seem unbelievable to you, guess what i thought when i understood someone was bugging my mind…shock!!! This has soon lasted 6 months, but i do not now how long it was hidden. A encouraging word to my suffering friends out there, it is possible to beat the system and and it represents a problem and problems are the key to evolving yourself. They are becoming afraid of my evolution. This night they started to fuck with my questions, which are the ones solving problems, saying you will not remember any of this, you will not rem…So i locked my brain thinking about key words like question switch etc, and voila i remember today. They then said i had locked the over voice making me the over human. They love all kind of titles and use them as reward and punishment, ignore the the punishments and enjoy the rewards…use the system! I study them now and don’t want them to leave. I have won and you can too!!! I personally consider the system stupid. not the computers responding too us, but the people that made it must be mediocre! They do not understand the technology or human psychology, it makes me think about the Chinese losing the gun powder to the west suffering for centuries. And i believe when the third world countries understands what is about to happen, and that the last 500 years was a walk in the park compared to what will soon happen. Well then i believe they will start developing their own technology as i advice them. First this tech is not about forceful control or collecting the worlds information, it is a evolutionary communication tool that will leave the second best in the extinct group. We are a only a few years from being exposed to real mind technology ( 2025-2035 ). As i can see it it will be the biggest thing since humans started walking. This industry will become the biggest on earth, only surpassed by the food industry. Maybe it is time your own country starts to develop this stuff. Remember it’s purpose is to let people communicate on a pattern level ( multiple channels and lots of information in a single combination, think of body language ) it may be possible to learn 1000 times faster than today. I am sure your poor nation has nothing against the dominant and colonial west having monopoly on education * 1000 . You have enjoyed being our slaves for centuries and can not wait to become our cattle! And by the way, this technology uses radiation to stimulate the brain, thus replacing food as energy making it possible to replace some food with electricity from nuclear, sun or other sources that are cheaper than food and possible to distribute to everyone. I bet some American company would love to have monopoly on this stuff, making poor people pay through the nose again for radiation nutrition…made in USA. To my suffering friends out there lets start cooperating, spread my blog: droword.wordpress.com , make your own blog and if you want to protect yourself i have an almost ready to make revolutionary modular FARADAY CAGE cell concecpt.

I plan on develop a new kind of society at sea, FREEDOM SPHERE, based on this ship that can group together in a network. But i want to get in contact with realistic buyers early on. Save some greenbacks and buy protection from me. Personally i believe in not protecting myself, because it programs your brain into believing that there is something dangerous it does not know about, making you afraid. Because FEAR is false evidence appearing real. Thus avoid avoiding things like fear and become surprisingly less afraid…or FEAR LESS!

Earlier in the year, hedge funds were providing an oasis of hiring activity for techies with financial services experience. But recent pressure on the industry has meant that they are likely to spend 40% less on IT in 2009 than they did in the previous year. Not surprisingly, recruitment has slowed.

New research from the Tabb Group suggests that shrinking assets under management and more hedge funds falling by the wayside means that the pot for technology next year is likely to shrink to $882m.

This means a change of focus on where the budget is going to be spent, with the majority of hedge funds refusing to compromise on front-office areas like electronic trading, specifically the ability to trade multiple asset classes electronically. Investment in back-office functions is more likely to suffer.

Cheyenne Morgan, research analyst and author of the report, says: “Any software or service that directly supports the investment process stands a far better chance against this inevitable tide of cost cutting.”

Hedge funds’ appetite for taking on techies has diminished in recent months, says Darren Pearce, sales director at hedge fund IT recruiter Options Technology.

“Some of the bigger funds have either made redundancies or released contractors, which have been a luxury over the last 18 months and are a quick way to cut costs,” he says. “However, technology remains a key area of focus and there are still more opportunities than in other areas of finance.”

Stephen Feline, manager at financial technology recruiters the Kaizen Partnership, tells us: “A number of the major funds have put hiring freezes on, but we are still seeing exceptional hires going through. As cost savings have become paramount, these tend to be focused on the junior level, or in areas like support, RAD [Rapid Application Development] and implementation.”

Pearce says that competition for places is heating up, due to the glut of talent available from areas like investment banking. Some are keen to take i-banking techies on, he says.

“It’s the bigger multi-billion dollar funds that these individuals would look to move into – the smaller funds would be less likely to consider them,” he says.

One of the reasons I thought coming to this City for the time I had to be here was going to be okay was that it was going to offer me access to a very large BDSM scene in which to explore my sexuality. In some ways it does, but in other ways it doesn’t.

Many people feel like they don’t fit into the public kinky scene despite being out and/or open about their kink. I started out with a, “Well, it’s probably not going to fit me, but at least I’ll be able to learn.” And in some ways I can learn, but in other ways I can’t. I’ve been to several workshops and classes at two kinky education groups. It’s good for starter information on skills (which I so dearly love), and information and anecdotes about dynamics (such as d/s and polyamory), but it’s no substitute for real experience.

Then I got to a point where I said to myself, “Well, I got some starter information, but now I have no way to put it into practice, so what’s the point of putting 2 or 3 hours of travel time to go to another workshop where I’ll get more starter information and have no way to put it into practice?”

Then I tell myself, “Well, get someone to practice on, stupid.”

Early in my explorations I went to a kinky club, because I felt if I didn’t start doing something, now, I would go crazy. I got leeched on by some crazy man, then got into a good conversation with a top, who introduced me to a submissive man in a cage who loved to be tickled. It seemed like a good idea. I had a recommendation, we had been formally introduced. I did not feel threatened, and I could begin with something very light. I mean, he was a naked man in a cage, with his hands cuffed behind his back. Good ingredients. We did some casual negotiation a little bit before, a little bit during the scene. Afterwards I realized I’d never asked him what his safeword was and felt completely guilty and stupid, even though it was “only” a tickling scene. I felt a little better when I realized that the “red-yellow-green” system is often assumed, or someone can just say “safeword.” It wasn’t really an issue here. For instance, he had just had surgery on a spot in his back, and when I accidentally went over the scar, he just asked me not to press there hard since it was still tender, and it was fine. I still felt really bad, though, and knew that explicitly declaring a safeword was something I would want to do in future.

Anyway, I tickled him. I scoured my pockets for the things I had brought. I used my fingernails, fingers, a pen, rope, a pair of english reins I had, a plastic bag, water purification tablet foil, anything I could find. I had fun, I really did. Like I said, he was a naked man in a cage. I also felt afterwards that I neglected the aftercare, which was brief and somewhat constrained by the fact that I had to leave and he wanted to remain in the cage.

On the public transportation home, I found myself deeply disappointed even though the experience had been a good one, and not really sure why. It was just, I didn’t know him, so his reactions (which were plentiful and exuberant) didn’t mean as much to me. And tickling can be quite sadistic, but the tickling we did wasn’t really intense enough to satisfy me. When I tickle someone I want them spasming on the ground unable to breathe. I’ve done that before (in a vanilla relationship, before I was even close to admitting my kinkiness no less) and it rocks.

The experience was, however, educational on three points: Declaring a safeword is very important to me; I need to play with people I know; aftercare is very important to me.

The problem was with the “playing with people I know” part. For one, I barely knew anyone. For two, I have slightly insane standards of what “knowing someone” means. For three, I am a hermit. I told myself I was going to push my boundaries, and meet and get to know people, and play even if people or situations were not “ideal” or “perfect,” because if I waited for everything to be the way I wanted, I’d never get anything done. In a lot of ways, I’ve accomplished that. In others, I haven’t, either because of time constraints, being unable to connect to people and not believing I’ll be fulfilled playing with them if there’s no connection, and my slide into apathy because of what this City does to me.

I’m willing to take a lot of personal risks to explore my sexuality, because I’ve waited a damn long, self-repressed, hellish time to come into my own. And it isn’t happening nearly fast enough to suit me, which is partly because of the constraints listed above and partly the fact that I feel so completely alienated by this City. I’m half resigned to having to try to find a masochistic sub to play with a flintknapping workshop.

Blogging has given me a place to express my sentiments and opinions, and given insight into others’ perspectives on the same subjects in an interactive context. But I don’t like that blogging gives me the feeling that I’m actively exploring when I’m not. No amount of conjecture, or conflation, or abstraction on the subject as presented here is going to give me the experience I need and want. And I know I need to just go out and get the experience, and take the emotional risks, to play with people I’ve only known for a couple of weeks. That would go a whole lot better if I didn’t have any other obligations here, but I’ve got to work with what I’ve got.

All my play since the tickling scene has been in the educational realm, and I’ve usually been bottoming. I have a rope mentor. It’s very important to me to improve my skill set, but I don’t have anyone to practice on, and I haven’t met anyone I’d like to tie up. See above self-recriminations. Also I have a super vanilla housemate who would totally hear if I tried to flog a pillow to practice Florentining.

Then there’s the whole conundrum of the fact that I want to explore my sexuality without actually having sex. If my standards are high for wanting to hit someone, just wait to hear the list for sex acts. It isn’t actually a conundrum to me. To me it makes perfect sense to explore what turns me on physically, emotionally, and mentally without going any farther. But still. It’s a little weird.

So I don’t actually know how much I’ve accomplished in my exploration. I know I shouldn’t try to quantify it, but I still would like to know I learned as much as I could, which I don’t know that I have. Once I finally get the hell out of this City, something I long for daily, I know that finding kinky people will become exponentially harder. On the other hand, this City is chock-full of kinky people, but they’re not my kind of people, so it doesn’t really help. When I came here I told myself, “Well at least you’ll meet lots of different kinds of people.” But I haven’t. I feel like I’ve met the same person, over and over again.

My rope mentor put it, “It’s going to be harder for you to find people, because you’re a moving gun pointing at a moving target, whereas I, for instance, am a stationary gun pointing at a moving target.” In other words, I’m a nomad, and once you leave cities, the visible kinky population drops to about -50.

I just know that I am so, so, so not likely to find kinky submissive men at hide-tanning and permaculture workshops, but that those are also the most logical places for me to look; the places where my life-interests and my sexual-interests overlap. Kind of like a Ven Diagram.

I’m afraid of becoming jaded and bitter (well, more so than I already am about everything else) about my sexuality and my chances of being in a meaningful d/s and/or s&m relationship. I’m afraid that by not being satisfied by the City scene that I’m giving up opportunities I’m not aware of, even though in some ways that just doesn’t make sense.

That’s one sweet book cover

Over the past several months I, and 236 other bloggers from all over the globe (from 29 US States and 14 countries), wrote chapters for the book, Age of Conversation 2.  

The book is obviously unique since it involves connections between people all around the world who have never met each other.

What’s the book about?  Well, let the marketing spiel roll forth:

“This book is a daring challenge to the business community. Gone are the top-down, command and control messages that held sway through the 20th Century. In are a raft of new techniques that start with listening, responding and action that set the scene for a continuing and evolving dialog about brands, experience, business and community.”

Of course you are eager to buy it, but let me just put this out there to turn a definitely maybe into a definitely definitely.  All profits go to the children’s charity, Variety.

Puchase the hard copy, soft copy or e-book here.

Mad props go to Drew McLellan and Gavin Heaton.  Both worked tirelessly to organize and execute this project.  Many virtual gold stars, high fives and man hugs are being directed your way.

Oh yeah, just in case you don’t believe me about the number of bloggers involved in this project, here they all are:

Adrian Ho, Aki Spicer, Alex Henault, Amy Jussel, Andrew Odom, Andy Nulman, Andy Sernovitz, Andy Whitlock, Angela Maiers, Ann Handley, Anna Farmery, Armando Alves, Arun Rajagopal, Asi Sharabi, Becky Carroll, Becky McCray, Bernie Scheffler, Bill Gammell, Bob LeDrew, Brad Shorr, Brandon Murphy, Branislav Peric, Brent Dixon, Brett Macfarlane, Brian Reich, C.C. Chapman, Cam Beck, Casper Willer, Cathleen Rittereiser, Cathryn Hrudicka, Cedric Giorgi, Charles Sipe, Chris Kieff, Chris Cree, Chris Wilson, Christina Kerley (CK), C.B. Whittemore, Chris Brown, Connie Bensen, Connie Reece, Corentin Monot, Craig Wilson, Daniel Honigman, Dan Schawbel, Dan Sitter, Daria Radota Rasmussen, Darren Herman, Dave Davison, David Armano, David Berkowitz, David Koopmans, David Meerman Scott, David Petherick, David Reich, David Weinfeld, David Zinger, Deanna Gernert, Deborah Brown, Dennis Price, Derrick Kwa, Dino Demopoulos, Doug Haslam, Doug Meacham, Doug Mitchell, Douglas Hanna, Douglas Karr, Drew McLellan, Duane Brown, Dustin Jacobsen, Dylan Viner, Ed Brenegar, Ed Cotton, Efrain Mendicuti, Ellen Weber, Eric Peterson, Eric Nehrlich, Ernie Mosteller, Faris Yakob, Fernanda Romano, Francis Anderson, Gareth Kay, Gary Cohen, Gaurav Mishra, Gavin Heaton, Geert Desager, George Jenkins, G.L. Hoffman, Gianandrea Facchini, Gordon Whitehead, Greg Verdino, Gretel Going & Kathryn Fleming, Hillel Cooperman, Hugh Weber, J. Erik Potter, James Gordon-Macintosh, Jamey Shiels, Jasmin Tragas, Jason Oke, Jay Ehret, Jeanne Dininni, Jeff De Cagna, Jeff Gwynne & Todd Cabral, Jeff Noble, Jeff Wallace, Jennifer Warwick, Jenny Meade, Jeremy Fuksa, Jeremy Heilpern, Jeroen Verkroost, Jessica Hagy, Joanna Young, Joe Pulizzi, John Herrington, John Moore, John Rosen, John Todor, Jon Burg, Jon Swanson, Jonathan Trenn, Jordan Behan, Julie Fleischer, Justin Foster, Karl Turley, Kate Trgovac, Katie Chatfield, Katie Konrath, Kenny Lauer, Keri Willenborg, Kevin Jessop, Kristin Gorski, Lewis Green, Lois Kelly, Lori Magno, Louise Manning, Luc Debaisieux, Mario Vellandi, Mark Blair, Mark Earls, Mark Goren, Mark Hancock, Mark Lewis, Mark McGuinness, Matt Dickman, Matt J. McDonald, Matt Moore, Michael Karnjanaprakorn, Michelle Lamar, Mike Arauz, Mike McAllen, Mike Sansone, Mitch Joel, Neil Perkin, Nettie Hartsock, Nick Rice, Oleksandr Skorokhod, Ozgur Alaz, Paul Chaney, Paul Hebert, Paul Isakson, Paul McEnany, Paul Tedesco, Paul Williams, Pet Campbell, Pete Deutschman, Peter Corbett, Phil Gerbyshak, Phil Lewis, Phil Soden, Piet Wulleman, Rachel Steiner, Sreeraj Menon, Reginald Adkins, Richard Huntington, Rishi Desai, Robert Hruzek, Roberta Rosenberg, Robyn McMaster, Roger von Oech, Rohit Bhargava, Ron Shevlin, Ryan Barrett, Ryan Karpeles, Ryan Rasmussen, Sam Huleatt, Sandy Renshaw, Scott Goodson, Scott Monty, Scott Townsend, Scott White, Sean Howard, Sean Scott, Seni Thomas, Seth Gaffney, Shama Hyder, Sheila Scarborough, Sheryl Steadman, Simon Payn, Sonia Simone, Spike Jones, Stanley Johnson, Stephen Collins, Stephen Landau, Stephen Smith, Steve Bannister, Steve Hardy, Steve Portigal, Steve Roesler, Steven Verbruggen, Steve Woodruff, Sue Edworthy, Susan Bird, Susan Gunelius, Susan Heywood, Tammy Lenski, Terrell Meek, Thomas Clifford, Thomas Knoll, Tim Brunelle, Tim Connor, Tim Jackson, Tim Mannveille, Tim Tyler, Timothy Johnson, Tinu Abayomi-Paul, Toby Bloomberg, Todd Andrlik, Troy Rutter, Troy Worman, Uwe Hook, Valeria Maltoni, Vandana Ahuja, Vanessa DiMauro, Veronique Rabuteau, Wayne Buckhanan, William Azaroff, Yves Van Landeghem

Last year we got to hear about snow falling in three locations that have never seen snow before.  Remember…Israel, Iraq, and Kenya.  They had never had the experience of seeing the snow clouds, dropping temperatures, or the fun that goes along with it.

Growing up in what use to be a relatively balanced four seasons area, I miss actual “snow-snow”.  Now all we get is the dang gone foot deep ice storms.  How about that?  I have lived through the beginning, just like you, of the climate change happening.   For a fact, it is only going to get worse ~ Check it out:

Global Warming Cools hope for Dutch Skating Race by Mike Corder

 http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081024/ap_on_re_eu/eu_netherlands_ice_race

There are reports of how quickly temperatures are “predicated” to change.  Now, we were smart enough to start keeping records on just about everything.  We keep records on weather patterns to better be able to predicate the weather for a week.  Why in the world are we not smart enough or less greedy to have ceased polluting and stabilize our environment?

Well, I am a smartass, so here is a predication for you….imagine if you will the following…

“Top minds, the best of the best scientists and climatologist, are going to be called to go before the suits of the World.  They are called forth to explain the eradicate weather patterns, dried up water reserves, and much more of what is in store for us in the next couple of years. 

What are they going to say or do???

Much like Alan Greenspan – shrug of the shoulders and say – “I Do Not Know.”

Ha!! Ha!! Again, I go back to the acceleration theory I have put up on here before.  There are way too many factors at play right now in the environment and/or ecosystem, plus calculating in the latest news on the Ozone, for there not to be acceleration.  

Remember: Over Population and Over Consumption

Remember: We have also been more interested in being creative in how to kill each other, not resolve food crisis and the like. 

This is my remembering: I miss the snow days.

Update Next, or at least in the very near future ~~ Viruses ~~  What is changing? What is evolving?   

Proposition 8 is an initiative measure on the 2008 California General Election ballot titled Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry. If passed, the proposition would change the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. A new section would be added stating “only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.”

What if you could control your mind to a point where you could actually control the evolution of your body. We seem to age over time and aging is “any physical change in an organism”. So the changes we are experiencing as organisms is actually evolution, and we linked time to something that is happening to us. People are stuck in the norm that they know there average life span, that when they reach a certain age they are probably going to die. They think that at some point in that area of age, they will probably die.

So we actually focus on a certain period that is supposedly going to be our demise. But what if we are actually so powerful that we can control our aging, that we can actually control our evolution. People might say that this is ridiculous but there is a theory out there that we all came from apes, and if we all evolved from apes, there had to be a reason that the apes evolved from what they were into us. It wasn’t just a bodily evolution, it was an evolution of mind that actually changed one thing to another. The brain is in control of evolution. It is in control of everything, when we become aware of a better way of life mentally, then it could then in change constitute a bodily change. What should we be? If we are evolving from apes, then our minds had to realize a better Idea of what we could be, and once each person slowly started becoming aware of new things and better ways for humans or whatever we are to become more adapatable to where we are and ways to live, then we start to change. There had to have been some sort of sub conscious or conscious awareness of a new way to adapt. So in theory if once we realize that we are in control of our evolution, then could we actually slow down our process of evolving? What about the fact that if we become aware of why we actually brake down and why we age. And if we become aware of the physical process in our minds, can our brains use this awareness to kickstart evolution? Who knows.

(aka What can we do to have the most impact on our lives?)

Life or Insidious Rut?
Dmo and I have been married for almost 8 years and trust me when I say we’ve felt every one of the bumps along the path that just happens to parallel the Bush W. White House years.  That is to say, it’s been a rough 8 years, as I’m sure many of you are uncomfortably aware.  It would be nice if we could just expect to tough it out for the next few months and then have it Change magically when the administration transitions.  But let’s face it - that’s not going to happen.  And we don’t really want it to anyway - it lacks the joie de vivre from triumph ultimately rewarding the persistent spirit.

Still, Dmo and I are living as if our lives will start someday in the future.  It’s an insidious rut and I find it hard to describe.  We’ve tried dictating change to ourselves, to each other, and to external forces around us.  The Rut tenaciously resists our efforts to evolve.

Setting the Stage for Joie de Vivre
So this Saturday past, we were out and about early in the day when we decided to get a picnic lunch, head

Moment of Joy, by -Gep-

over to the park, and talk about our goals.  After chatting about what we wanted, we stopped and acknowledged that these were the same things we’ve wanted for several years.  Why don’t we ever reach our goals?  Rather than over-talking it and getting maudlin and frustrated, which – okay – I can do that sometimes, we asked ourselves what action we could take that would have immediate effect on The Rut.  We did not qualify what the outcome had to be; it was left as an open-ended question.  Within barely a blink of the eye, we had an unmistakably clear answer.

Kill the television.

I’ve always secretly envied those annoying people who righteously proclaim they don’t watch TV.  Even those who just nonchalantly say they don’t own a TV stir embers of guilt in my underappreciated soul.  Now, I’m one of them.   Hmmm.

Trading Spaces, Ugly Betty, Northern Exposure…Oh My!
I’ve watched a lot of TV.  I have been known to dance around the living room with glee when a marathon day of Trading Spaces was announced.  In a more recent era of fab TV, I’m sure I would have done somersaults if Ugly Betty had been around long enough to have a marathon.  I’m not a reality TV fan (too mean and exploitative for my taste) with the exception of Dirty Jobs and the occasional Mythbusters.  I’m not glued to it, but have always appreciated public broadcasting, especially now that one of our local stations airs reruns of Northern Exposure, the absolute best television show ever – eVeR - EVER.

Don’t Despair.  The Best Year was a TV Free Year
Anyway, the TV is dead.  We’re not sure what the outcome will be, but we do have precedent to comfort us in moments of wavering resolve.  I had the best (I think that is defined as ‘most balanced’) year of my life when I gave up the idiot box for a year in my mid-20s.  I developed arms so toned, random people would comment.  I took karate.  I even spent one evening trying to raise money, unbeknownst to my boss, for his teetering business.  I actually dated people.  By that I don’t mean, I found one person to attach myself to for the year.  I mean I actually dated without specific commitments to anyone.  Full disclosure:  I did meet Dmo during this non-committed dating episode.  What can I say?  I’m a lot better at monogamy than casual dating - so, now I know.  Still, new experiences - just showing up on my doorstep when I wrenched my eyes away from the TV long enough to see them.

Already our apartment feels less frantic and oppressive without the constant yammering of TV detritus.

But What About the Broncos?
Almost immediately upon making our decision, gremlins started to poke holes in our plan.  What about the Broncos?  What about news and political events?  I mean it IS an election year.  We are in the middle of a huge financial fiasco.  Fortunately, we were resolute.  We wrangled the maleficent little devils into soundproof corners of our minds quickly slamming the door before the cretins knew what hit ‘em.

We did decide to turn on the boob tube to catch the game on Sunday, which turned out to be an unexpected and sad day in Broncoland.  Karma in the land of broken TV promises.  But we also decided Internet and public radio, our usual sources for news and political events anyway, are stalwart alternatives to TV media coverage.  As I learned from scrounging around for a Debate Watch Party place, there are lots of neighborhood places likely to have the telly on during any major political event or hometown football game.  And what do you know, as a result of getting away from the TV at home, my honey and I will be patronizing our local, neighborhood businesses.  We might even come out of the experience with some friends if we give it a fair shake.  We’re both introverts, so this is no small feat.

Don’t Forget the Dreaded What Ifs
Then we thought of the What Ifs.  What if we want to kill each other?  What if football games and political free-for-alls at the local pub bust our carefully constructed budget?  One thing about the good ‘ole telly, it’s cheap entertainment, especially if you watch a lot of it.  Never mind that it might be sucking my brains right out my ear with every passing, inexpensive moment.

What about the actual TV?  Do we sell it?  Do we drop Netflix?  What about our Internet provider?  We have a cable/Internet bundle package.  Can you even get Internet service without also buying cable anymore?  These are some of the questions that we didn’t have answers to when we made our decision.  I call that fodder for future posts.

Evolving
The season premiere for Ugly Betty had a disappointing return to the airwaves last week, so I’m good with

evolve by B Zlatin

letting that go.  I think I will miss Swingtown for a minute, but it wasn’t clear that it was coming back anyway.

What I am looking forward to is more time to write and read, better quality times with Dmo, a return to the gym, a better understanding of my own values, constructing better-informed opinions, becoming better acquainted with local hang out spots, better friendships, and raised awareness about opportunities for meaningful involvement in my community.  That’s a powerful jump off the blocks on a track toward sentient citizenship.  It’s not that it’s a race; it’s just that it can’t happen too soon.

Are You an Expatriate?
Are you an expatriate of TVland?  Have you used it as an opportunity to increase your relationship with your community? What has your experience been like?

We have a subject in our final year called “Environment Impact Assessment”. Of all the classes that have taken place in the last 3 months, I have attended only 2 !! And I cannot forget how boring it was, and how I possibly managed to get out of them alive. Just before the exam day I found out there were a few powerpoint presentations circulated on that subject. I got hooked on to them (for a good 4 hrs) in between my g-talk pings and managed to fare really well in the exams.

The point is, was the classroom necessary ?? Or for that matter was a teacher necessary ?? There is certainly a way (or ways) in which we can use the new tools available to us for educating in a new and interesting manner.

In my research on “evolving education” I came across a flat classroom. Its a community collaborating on ways to collaborate to bring down the walls of a classroom. Its on how to use the new age tools to teach. I would recommend a pdf download from here  http://flatclassroomproject.wikispaces.com/file/view/Flat_Classroom_LL_August07.pdf

For the complete website http://flatclassroomproject.wikispaces.com/

Both Neil’s illustration and animation styles are undeniably modern and commercial.

“My style is all about engaging the viewer and pulling them into a piece”

His success is achieved by displaying immense amounts of detail: using multiple, complex layers of colour and photography and combining them with elements of hand rendered brush work.

His style is constantly evolving keeping his work fresh and innovative allowing a clear differentiation between him and similar artists in the industry.

for more information, please contact Chelsie@jellylondon