The movie's issue is weddings. Weddings, weddings, weddings. The institution of marriage is sort of a side point to that, because it's the spectacle that's the focus of the film. The odd thing about it all was that I could not personally identify with any character in the sense of the whole "enjoying weddings" or "planning a wedding" idea. I felt so disconnected. And I shouldn't! I'm a bride-to-be for goodness' sake. But I am either lazy or irritated or not excited about the whole spectacle of a lavish wedding enough to dread planning ours.

James Marsden's character's view, about the ridiculousness and materialness of the spectacle, is more or less what Bryan and I believe. We're sort of exhausted by the mere idea of a "typical" wedding -- the 100ish guests, the lavish flowers and the bridesmaid dresses... Neither of us can imagine us being in the midst of that. I've never really even imagined myself having that kind of wedding, either. Growing up I don't recall ever having dreamed of my wedding day other than a vague, "I'll have to ask the groom his opinion on that," and a firm desire for yellow and peach roses. Oh, and no straplessness. (I hate the way I look in anything strapless.) Nothing more specific than that. The stereotypical bride has a whole color palette in mind, complete with invitations, band/music, decorations, and food/cake preferences. I really don't, or at least not especially for a wedding. I suppose I'm just not hardwired for it the way a lot of women stereotypically seem to be. The idea of planning a wedding actually scares me. It daunts me, more precisely. I don't like calling people and arranging things and well, spending tons and tons of money. (Google the cost of the average American wedding and cut it in half and that's still ridiculous for what we want. We'd rather have a kick ass honeymoon.)

The other thing is Bryan and I are both impulsive and indecisive. What this means is that we suck at long-range planning -- or, well, things that involve dates. And the setting of them. Absolutely, absolutely suck at it. So we've been engaged since May 2007 and we haven't set a date, a large part of which is due to the fact that we can't decide things. It's not that we're arguing -- not at all -- or that either of us has cold feet, it's just that we talk around endlessly in circles about dates and ideas then get exhausted and let the topic drop, then pick it up again a few weeks later. Round and round and no productive discussion gets accomplished.

Things I care about? Saying the vows, partying afterward, and registering for a whole bunch of necessary newly-wed goodies. (I want a Kitchen-Aid Mixer something fierce.) Somewhere amidst all of that, I want my father to walk me down the aisle to give me away; I want people to stare at me in my pretty dress; I want photos taken of us gallivanting in formal wear. (We have only crappy ones of those, and the formal wear is crappy too -- Bryan in an oversized sport coat, me in frumpy dress with a glazed look in my eye... yeah. Ugh.) Bryan wants something even simpler. He just wants to get it over with, and however we can get it over with will make him happy.

To us, there are two aspects of marriage: (1) The legal part. The tax deductions, the status changes that reflect in other aspects of life and legal matters, etc., and (2) the rite-of-passage ceremony and accompanying celebration. That celebration is, as I said, tied in with the rite-of-passage aspect and for that reason only do we consider it important. It's not about tasty expensive pastry and dancing and stuff like that; it's about acknowledging to the community at large that we've exchanged vows and then frankly having them help us start a life together. Because we've been living together since 2004 we have a huge part of that life established, but we need things for, well, being adults. Like real dinnerware and flatware that is ours. Like real wine, champagne, and cocktail glasses. Like the Kitchen-Aid Mixer that I am absolutely salivating over. Stuff like that. So that's part of the party idea, too. I don't consider that part of the commercialism of a wedding, I consider that part of the age-old tradition of celebrating a marriage by helping the new couple start a life together by providing the basics. Neither of us have tastes that run to crystal decanters or ridiculous candle holders... we just need an upgrade from our plastic Target cookware. You know?

Hopefully this stuff will magically get solved by next summer. Or sooner. Who knows? Oy. I just hope we figure something out in time for me to get things together in a properly reasonable fashion -- i.e. be able to send out invitations the snail mail way, etc. -- for whatever we decide, eventually, to do.

http://www.diyweddingphotos.com/index.html

This is an even better idea for engagement photos!

As much as I love weddings, it's always so much fun to get together with

my couples to shoot their engagement pictures.  It really gives me a chance

to spend some time with them and get to know them.  Lindsey and Cody

drove up to Big Canoe last week - she was a natural in front of the camera

and Cody didn't do too bad for a guy!  Just kidding Cody...  You guys were

terrific!  I'm looking forward to your November wedding!

Welcome to my new and tasty blog!  I just switched over from blogger....

Here is a photo of Daniel and Susan....love the sun flare!

Lucy :-)

The three of us met for an engagement portrait session in downtown Saratoga Springs and had a lovely time! My engagement sessions are pretty low-key and my goal is for my couple to enjoy themselves while I take a mix of candid and semi-posed photos. We walked around Congress Park and then went down Broadway (the main drag) and stopped for a snack and refreshment.

I am looking forward to photographing Meghan and John's wedding this Fall (at the Saratoga National golf course) and am glad we had some time to get to know each other a bit before the big event!...:-)

You can see a slide show of their engagement session at my website.

Accent Photographics is now booking weddings for the remainder of 2008 and also 2009. Wedding collections start at just under $1,000. All packages include engagement sessions and a DVD of select images from the wedding. Packages can also be customized to meet a couple's needs. Select packages include a customized photo book - (see sample pages above). For more information, please contact Shuva at (563) 528-2035 in the Quad-Cities or Dubuque or (319) 512-9344 in Iowa City, Coralville and Cedar Rapids. You can also email at shuva@accentphotographics.com.

Here are the photos we took a few weeks ago in Ballard!!

According to Star Magazine (so, maybe we can take this with a grain of salt), Sean "Diddy" Combs, 38, is engaged to his protégée, singer Cassie, 21. Combs signed Cassie to his label, Bad Boy Records, in 2006 and released her self-titled album featuring the single "Me & U."

If this is all true, and these two wed, I give it maybe 3 months. First of all, Combs has shown he's not the best when it comes to relationships: See failed unions with Jennifer Lopez, Kim Porter (mother of his baby twins and on-and-off girlfriend for more than 10 years) and Misa Hylton-Brim, mother of his eldest child, Justin. Secondly, this girl is 21. And she's marrying a guy 17 years older than her. Um, yeah, that sounds like a great idea.

The first is

a recent survey conducted on behalf of PRWeek and Manning Selvage & Lee (MS&L) by Millward Brown indicates that just may be the case: Despite weakened economic conditions, over 75% of senior marketers say they expect spending for new media and online initiatives to increase in the next year.

The second one is

a recent study by Borrell Associates, a Williamsburg, Va.-based market research firm, uncovered three major trends:

• Spending on online display ads (web page banners, pop-ups, etc.) have been flat the past two years and are expected to top out at $12.6 billion in 2008, then decline more than 50 percent by 2012.
• Paid search advertising will peak at $16.9 billion by 2009 and start declining.
• Online promotions generated about $8 billion in 2007. This category will nearly triple by 2013 to $22.8 billion, exceeding all other online advertising categories, including paid search, banners, email and online audio/video advertising.

How does one reconcile these two?  I believe they're both right - spending on digital media will continue to grow.  It should - it's an emerging medium and consumers' time spent and engagement with it continues to grow.  I'm not sure why there is a giant difference between good advertising and good promotion.  If I'm reading the survey right, it seems as if the difference is that the "promotional" online ads tie to a contest or some other action.  I was always taught that all advertising is supposed to have a call to action and that, it seems, is what we should be measuring.  There are lots of other factors such as the creative to consider before blaming the messenger - the medium.

It's unfortunate that some CMO's will read the above survey and turn it into a self-fulfilling prophecy.  There are lots of tools in the marketing toolbox.  Digital media, and display ads within digital media (hopefully with a specific, measurable, excellent call to action) are a big part.  An even bigger, more important part is using all of the tools at one's disposal as we continue the conversations with the public.

Happy Engagement, Lea! So happy to see u guyz.. :) thanks a lot!

I think I'm worried because I don't know what it takes to make a marriage last forever. That and we do have personalities that sometimes clash. I have social anxiety disorder, which means I am very sensitive to my surroundings. He is very loud and funny, but sometimes does not realize what parts of it set me off. I feel worried when I get stressed out or bicker with him over something that relates to my anxiety (saying something too loud, doing something that appears odd..) because it isn't a normal thing and I'm worried that I'm asking too much when I ask him to muffle his personality when we're outside because of my disorder.

So let me sum it up in something you can actually answer...

I am wondering, is it normal for couples to bicker sometimes in the beginning, especially when both have backgrounds with insecurity and being easily stressed?
How do couples get past that scary 50% chance of failure?
During stressful periods of life is it normal for there to be less intimacy and possibly moments of doubt?
What causes people to suddenly fall out of love?
The thing I think to myself is, I know there are people who are more attractive out there, more 'artsy' whom share my personality, but I don't care because I love and want to be with my fiance more than anyone better who could be out there. Because he is an amazing wonderful person whom supports everything I do. I think I'm just scared of being foolish in front of the odds, and worried that he's right thinking that I'd fall for someone with more of an appealing 'charm'. I believe I could never love someone else like I love him, and that I would be with him forever, but how can I know for sure or know enough to feel confident about our marriage?

(apologies for the extreme length, and hopefully this is an ok category. Thank you.)
  Answer: Tanya,
Rather than answer all those questions let me give you some facts. The 50% divorce rate is a myth.

http://www.prepinc.com/main/Docs/what_really_div_rate.html

Living with your partner before marriage increases the risk of divorce.

http://marriageandfamilies.byu.edu/issues/2001/January/cohabitation.aspx

Finally, if you truly are going to marry this person why not do it now. You have already waited 2 years and now you are waiting another year. If you aren't sure now that you are going to marry this guy you will never be sure.

I would strongly suggest you do pre-marital counseling. This will help you figure out any issues you may need to address now so you can prevent a future divorce. ]]> http://tinkchick.wordpress.com/?p=116 Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:43:04 +0000 tinkchick http://tinkchick.wordpress.com/?p=116  I am officially an f word.  Not flake, not fornicator, not freelance photographer, but FIANCEE. 

 Last night was our "date night".  I was busy making Cubano sandwiches when Jeff got home.  We ate and decided to get a movie on demand.  I, being the most indecisive person ever, could not pick between 'The Bucket List' and 'Charlie Wilson's War'.  Jeff leaned over and asked me, "Will this help you decide?" and handed me my ring.  He asked me to marry him, to which I immediately replied, "Shut up!?" Then I said yes. As I think back, I dont recall what I expected, but this was perfect; it was totally us. But I still wont refer to myself or Jeff as the f word.

 On the weight loss front:

www.my-calorie-counter.com     The webs free Calorie Counter

Also, today is my half-birthday! Happy un-birthday to me!

Light discipline.  I learned a lot about it during my Army training.  You can see the soft glow of a cigarette, a small map light or a candle hundreds of meters away in the woods.  We learned to be aware of light and who could see it.

So, how bright is your light?  Who is it shining on? 

Authentic leaders glow.  They illuminate places well into the distance sometimes unaware of their reach.  Over the past few weeks I have witnessed the extraordinary impact of Marlowe and Sherida ( www.mylesandjrfootballcamp.com ), Tera (www.janusyouth.org ), Ronnie (www.veronikanoize.com ), Anthony (www.sharethewealthu.org ) Cindy (www.spectrumpacific.com ) and Sue (www.wolfeboronh.us )….selfless leaders lighting paths for others….quietly, authentically, wholly.  If you read Mitch Albom’s book The Five People You Meet in Heaven , you would look at Marlowe, Sherida, Tera, Ronnie, Anthony, Cindy and Sue and say: “wow, these folks are angels here on earth.”  Indeed they are. 

Bright leaders make a difference.  They remember  the non-athlete kid’s name who participates religiously in town rec programs.  They reroute a successful company president’s thinking enough for her to state: “thank you for helping me see my possibility.”   They spark hope in a struggling family using soil, tomato plants and water.  They teach critical life skills on a handmade football field.  Plato said: "those who have torches pass then on."  Indeed they do.

What makes you shine brighter?  You are left.  You leave.  The world shifts.  Unexpected change takes hold, however briefly.  You step up and through.  You see the world through different eyes.  Light carries and more people are struck by your light.  People  see what is possible for them.  People are engaged in creating an incredible future.  Indeed they are.

You are a torch in this world.  There are kids and shift leaders and presidents and single parents and line team members that stand in their own darkness.  How can you shine a light on their truth?  How can you illuminate another few meters out today?  Step into the light and share one bold step you can take to crank up the wattage around you, Leader.  Your comments can illuminate many.

p.s. thank you, alma mater (lux et veritas), for helping me see my possibility

Thanks guys for allowing me to be a part of this special time in your lives. Sharai has the most LOVING and welcoming family i have ever met.

well with out further due. here are Sharai and Mike.

Ok I pressume you've read the earlier posts so you understand the situation or at least it's basics.
The new fact is the following:
She slept over at my place yesterday and (as usual) i started a talk about "That Topic"...
Well after we finished talking I asked her to give it a try right now... Instead of saying no she asked
"Where? Front or Back?" I was so perplex then... I calculated her reactions on what i might say as fast as i could. I answered I'd like to try the back side. She said "Good... " as if the other side would have been the 'Zonk'.
Well actually she did try this time and got half of "it" in... so she had about 9cm inside of her back side.
I was proud of her...really proud...

But today i reflected the scene in front of my inner eye and i wondered:
For ~80% of all women world wide anal sex is an absolute taboo. And vaginal sex is just the normal thing. The left ~20% try it once and never do it again or do it never... But about all of them do it after having had vaginal sex.
So why the hell does she prefer anal sex to vaginal sex? The argument of feeling pain on defloration doesn't work now any more, right? Since the anus is much more tight than the vagina ...logically.
So why does she prefer the more painful way but makes an excuse of fearing pain at the same time?
This is such a huge contradiction! I really am amazed of how she always tries it again.
This time I was SO F*CKING CLOSE to believe her she ment it.

If i was not to write this bloq i was to have forgotten all of her other excuses in those moments i reflect a newer scene... I have a socalled "Ultra-short-time memory"...i pressume she's exploiting that to slowly use it against me by beeing able to use contradictious excuses....
BUT -> each time i write into my bloq i get flashbacks of the other excuses and i realize each time how contradictional they are....

If i was able to think in pictures, I'd create a mental mindmap of her excuses and show you how they cut across each other.

Well however, I will ask her within the next days why she prefers a more painful way ahead of an easier one again... and i won't stop then until i get a logical answer. And this, my darling will be a shit load of work for you to make that excuse work...so have fun making excuses.. earlier or later I'll catch up to you and then i'm gonna see in how far you lied to me or not...

Good Night Everyone,
_CoiTos_

Kristen and Matt were great.  I went to school with Kristen so it was awesome to catch up.  They are both finishing graduate school and getting married next summer.  I am so excited for them!

On the same vein as yesterday, so my mother heard that this guy has a broken engagement. THAT is something that severely bothers me.

I know today, broken engagements are more common for whatever reason. Everyone says better now, than divorce later, and I agree. However, I really have issues with someone who has a broken engagement, not as a person, not as my friend’s husband, but as potentially my husband.

I know myself. I’m very logical, with enough emotional interference. As my 12^th grade teacher said,

“2yng2tch, you are the most logical woman I’ve ever met.”  (This was in response to a discussion about marrying your first guy/girl)

I think things through very thoroughly, different angles, somewhat objectively, very reflectively, focused with every possible outcome/result taken into consideration. No, I’m not one of those “analyze every gesture”, but understand the gesture in the context of the person, situation, purpose, and goal.

My point is, that once I reach a decision, whether it was to go to Israel for Seminary or not, to transfer to Brooklyn for my Masters, or if I needed another pair of black shoes, I rarely, if ever, go back, or even look back.

When someone accepts someone’s proposal in marriage, s/he are making the most life-affecting decision ever. If a person breaks that engagement, then s/he screwed up on that decision, regardless of which side called it off.

If that person broke it off, why?

Did s/he not see something, is s/he a bad judge of character, is s/he easily blinded?

Did s/he suddenly realize this was not what s/he wanted?

If you’re looking to get married, you should know yourself, what you want, where you’re headed in life so you can make the right choices (of course, I know that a minority of people actually fit this criteria, that’s why I said my friend can marry someone with a broken engagement, not me)  Suddenly, you know what you want as opposed to before?

Did your parents pressure you into getting engaged?

Parents are great and important to helping you get a focus, guide you, support you, but if you’re parents are exerting such influence over you, there’s weakness in your character. Same goes for if your parents force you to break it off: weak character, and VERY interfering parents.

If the other side broke it off

You still made a wrong decision apparently.

What did you miss? Misread?

I’ll grant there are cases where I can understand a broken engagement, if one side was not honest with another etc., but otherwise, it really just boils down to faulty decision making and or a weak character.

Nobody is getting perfect, but there are some faults that we each individually can handle better than others. For someone else, faulty decision making may be perceived positively, that the person is willing to recognize they made a mistake. Some people may say the parents influence is also a positive, shows that s/he is willing to listen, and recognize s/he don’t know everything, and don’t always have the faculties to make informed decisions. For me, it’s not.

I don’t know what’s going to happen with this guy, but at least he gave  me two days of commentary.

Recently reading Web Strategy by Jeremiah about questions that players in the AR and PR industries have in regarding Social Media interaction there was a point that stood out to me: Computer-to-Human vs. Human-To Human interaction.  Most companies have relied on computer-to-human online marketing to suffice as their Internet presence.  A sleek website that is easy on the eyes, content rich, and exhibits seemless navigation has often been the standard for a successful company website.  However, with the emergence of Social Media as a rising force contributing to online marketing, companies are scrambling to get into this space.  Facebook has become a platform that a number of companies have been flocking to because of their Pages feature.  For no cost at all companies have a chance to interact within the Social Media space hoping to market to the masses virally.  For some, the results are less than desireable; little to no "fans" on their page and not much interaction overall.  While there could be many factors contributing to this one question that needs to be addressed is does the page foster computer-to-human interaction or does it cater to community?

Social Media Communities are different because they thrive on the real-time interaction of the people who share the same common interests.  Users viewing a constant static page will eventually become disengaged thus rendering your page crippled.  The goal here is to provided content that encourages your "fans" or "followers" to keep coming back and interacting with their peers regarding the different facets of your brand.  Also, this content also needs to be updated on a regular basis in order to substain traction.

Once you begin to gather a following of dedicated users then your community will start to grow virally as your creditability will spread "word of keyboard," and more people become interested.  A final tip I would offer would be to keep providing content, even if it traffic seems slow, as it may take time for your community to ramp up.  If you are passionate about wanting to create a social media community surrounding your brand, then the followers will start to trickle in.

Soon I will pass this site on to Jessica as a place to keep updated information about the who, what, where, when and whatnots.