O clap your hands all ye people, shout unto God with the voice of triumph. Psalm 47:1

Lesson #1 – DENIAL

Principle 1: Realize I’m not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.

“Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor.” Matthew 5:3 GNB

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” Romans 7:18

Think About It

Before we can take the first step of our recovery, we must first admit our denial.

God tells us, “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!” (Jeremiah 6:14 TLB).

The acrostic in DENIAL spells out what can happen if we do not face our denial.

Disables our feelings

By repressing our feelings we freeze our emotions. Understanding and feeling our feelings is freedom

“They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of destructive habits--for a man is a slave of anything that has conquered him.” (2 Peter 2:19 GNB)

Energy lost

A side effect of our denial is anxiety. Anxiety causes us to waste precious energy running from our past and worrying about and dreading our future. It is only in the present, today, where positive change can occur.

“He frees the prisoners…; he lifts the burdens from those bent down beneath their loads.” (Psalm 146:7-8 GNB)

Negates growth

We are as sick as our secrets. We cannot grow in recovery until we are ready to step out of denial into the truth.

“They cried to the Lord in their troubles, and he rescued them! He led them from their darkness and shadow of death and snapped their chains.” (Psalm 107:13-14 TLB).

Isolates us from God

Gods light shines on the truth. Our denial keeps us in the dark.

“God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” (1 John 1:5-7).

Alienates us from our relationships

Denial tells us we are getting away with it. We think no one knows – but they do – what’s the answer?

“Stop lying to each other; tell the truth, for we are parts of each other and when we lie to each other we are hurting ourselves.” (Ephesians 4:25 TLB)

Lengthens the pain

We have the false belief that denial protects us from our pain. In reality, denial allows our pain to fester and grow and turn into shame and guilt.

God’s promise: “I will give you back your health again and heal your wounds” (Jeremiah 30:17 TLB)

Accept the first principle of recovery. Step out of your denial! Step into your Higher Power’s – Jesus Christ’s – unconditional love and grace!

Write About It

1. What areas of your life do you have power (control) over? Be specific.

1. What areas of your life are out of control, unmanageable? Be specific.

1. How do you think taking this first step will help you?

1. As a child, what coping skills did you use to get attention or to protect yourself?

1. What was the “family secret” that everyone was trying to protect?

1. How do you handle pain and disappointment?

1. How can you begin to address your denial?

1. In what areas of your life are you now beginning to face reality and break the affects of denial?

1. How are you starting to develop a support team?

When you purchase a baby book these days, there is a place for mom and dad to write a letter to baby.  There is so much I wanted to share with Henry but I couldn't just put it on a few pages.  I want him to know who I am, my background and where I came from, what it's like to be a parent, what lessons I'm learning and want to pass on to him.  It's all a growing process.  I am daily learning and hope that my son can be a better person than I could ever be.  Randy Pausch was a role model in as such in his book he has inspired me.  After reading his book the thing that stuck with me the most was about brick walls.

In his own words from his book "The Last Lecture" Pausch says,

"...If you want something bad enough, never give up (and take a boost when offered).  Brick walls there there for a reason.  And once you get over them -- even if someone has practically had to throw you over -- it can be helpful to others to tell them how you did it." 

I want my son to know that brick walls will be something that you have to deal with your entire life.  I want him to know that they are also as big as you make them out to be.  I want him to know that even today I struggle and someday he will struggle the same way and wonder how to get over it.  I can't answer the question for myself never the less him.  I just know that if others can do it, so can I, and so can he.  Sometimes it's harder to see myself over the brick wall, but if I want it bad enough, it'll happen. 

I pray for Randy Pausch's family, that they find comfort and peace.  He blessed so many people by sharing his words and this lecture.

I pray for my friends, my family, my spouse, my self and my son.  That we keep trying to get over our brick walls.  I also pray that we each remember that we are a support system in place for one another.  Encourage and motivate one another, aid in whatever ways we can, support and help each other grow. 

Love, you can't have enough of it. 

Armed with this, we can breach our difficulty and make it over our brick walls.

I’m not sure why I started writing down what I did for the business, but after three days, I was hooked.  We’re in the stage where there’s a lot going on behind the scenes, but little visible progress.  I’m working hard, but wondering what the heck I’m accomplishing.

Now I know.

I have two weeks’ worth of progress…a record of the time I’ve spent making this business a reality.

One thing I see much more clearly now is the fill and empty pattern of my creativity.  It looks as if I accomplished little on Tuesday.  The calendar says I did research for about three hours and revised web content.  And yet, Wednesday evening, I wrote three pieces, added to and reformatted the web content, and was off to other projects…all in about 90 minutes.  The pieces I wrote required little editing.  The content is done.

I also didn’t realize how many small decisions I make every day until I started writing them down.  I feel as if I’m working.  Now I have a record to prove that I was, indeed.

Of course, some days are more productive than others.  Much of my physical energy still goes into my day job, but even so, things are stewing and percolating in the back of my mind.  If I can stay awake for 5 hours after coming home, I can get it all out onto paper in a form I can go back and revise later.  Those nights I nod off at the keyboard frustrate me.  I understand, however, that I have been working long hours and it will happen on occasion.  I quit beating myself up for it when I realized it rarely happens more than once a week.  Consider it my “down” time. J

It’s the best little business exercise I’ve started to date.  I can look back at the week and see progress.  Visible on the web site or not, it’s there.  Things are getting done.  All is good.

But today, I decided to change all that.  I had a few bucks in my pocket that I'd set aside for the purchase of two Honeysuckle vines and the red tipped Photinia that I'd been wanting all summer.  I know, I know, they should have been put in the ground in late May or June and given all summer to grow, but I didn't have the money then.  (Remember my car troubles?  See previous posts if you are new to this station.  Hee!Hee!)  So, today, after dropping Number 1 off at her housecleaning/babysitting job, I took Numbers 2,3, and 4 out to donuts and coffee.  Okay, they had the donuts I had the coffee, see? Not the healthiest breakfast, but after scraping the change canister dry it was clear we'd have just enough to make a little bit of a memory.  A breakfast memory that didn't include my burnt eggs and soggy French toast was a welcome thought to the kids and a much needed break for me.  So, we dropped off Number 1 and headed for our favorite pastry place.

After we received our delicacies and only being $6 poorer, we headed to our (okay, my) favorite plant and garden store.  I let the girls go explore the pond and the frogs, while my son pulled the wagon and lifted the plants in for me.  He's quite the helper that way.  It didn't take long for me to make my selections, after all, it's pretty easy to go through $30 (my limit) at a store like that.  Ahhhh, so many plants, so little money and garden space.  Sigh.  So, after making our purchases, and wishing I was about 5 years ago richer, we headed home. 

This is where the trouble began.  Or the fun, or the comedy, however you choose to veiw it.  My son and I easily decided where to place the new plants.  Heck, there were only three of them and I have massive amounts of chain link fence that I am trying to use as a trellis for flowering evergreen vines.  I also have massive amounts of fencing that I hope to cover with colorful evergreen plants that will quickly grow large enough to provide a screen for me so my neighbors cannot pop their heads over my fence and see me sunbathing topless in my backyard.  Okay, never mind that I don't really sunbathe topless unless I know everyone in the neighborhood is gone on vacation, but, still I don't like the idea of anyone, especially the little old geezer next door to me (sweet as he is) popping his head over while I'm in my tanning attire.  And, about the topless thing, I'm in the direct flight path to the airport so, several times a day jets fly over my house so low I can almost make out faces in the windows.  No, sorry, I'm not into providing free entertainment, even if it would border on horror, to all the airline passengers coming into my hometown. 

But, of course, putting plants in the ground is never as simple as just digging a hole and dropping them in.  First, I got distracted.  I have creeping roses that I had to trim back, then, somehow, blackberry bushes from the neighbor's yard had creeped in and were choking out the wimpy grape vines that the ex moved when he took down the grape arbor...and never replaced it.  That's a project I'll tackle one of these summers, but not this summer!  The blackberry thorny things had to go.  They were causing my son grief everytime he mowed the lawn and were only serving to make a mess of that one section of the fence.  Granted, it was a nice, green, mess, but the brambles where not the kind of screen I was thinking of when I was envisioning increased privacy.  I took the forlorn little clippers I have (they are my best gardening friends) and begain whacking away.  Well, as you can imagine, I didn't stop with just the blackberry bushes, there where roses, and dead daylilly blooms, and, well, I went on a trimming frenzy.  My son, who is usually the one responsible for cleaning up the trimmings said, "See, Mom, this is why I hate it when you start trimming stuff.  You just go crazy!" 

So, I took a break for lunch, checked emails, but I wasn't done.  I had plants to put in the ground.  I went out and planted the three new plants and then I got to weeding.  Weeding is a job I trust to no one, but myself.  I lost hundreds of dollars worth of plants letting the stepkids weed.  I'll never do that again. 

So, there I was,  trimming off the last of the rose bushes on the pool side of the chain link fence and weeding the long grass that was creeping into the flower bed on the house side of the same fence.  The grass was getting so tall it was obscuring the new little Star Jasmine vines I'd planted earlier this spring.  But the fun ended when I stood up to take a look at my work, stepped backward and caught my heel on a paver that had been moved (no doubt, Number 4 looking for toads again) and I fell in slow motion backward onto my bottom and jarring my arms into the ground as I fell backward and landed suddenly on my seat.  I sat there momentarily stunned, feeling a great deal of pain in my butt and my arms, and wondering if I broke anything.  After a few seconds, it was clear to me that I'd broken no bones.  I sat there for a moment thinking, "I'll bet that was hilarious to see!"  I got up slowly and very carefully, see, I'm not 25 anymore, and even though parts of my body were in mild discomfort, I was amused.  I would probably have been laughing hysterically if I'd seen myself fall.  Sigh.  Life is just sometimes like that.  We are busily working along making progress, then out of nowhere we catch our heel on something and the next thing we know we are slammed backward on on our seat wondering what happened.  In the end, all we can do is take stock of the damage, and do our best to get up and keep moving on.  If we can find some humor in the mishap along the way, all the better for us.  It speeds the healing process. 

Now, nearly thirty minutes after my little mishap I am sitting here telling the world about it an none the worse for the wear, though I suspect I'll feel something in a few hours or maybe tomorrow that won't be so funny.  I fought the vines, and the vines won...but I lived to tell about it! It's a good thing none of my kids caught that little fall on video.  I'm certain it would have had YouTube written all over it!

     Here's a portion of our reply to you...."  I know you're probably kidding about being adopted, but  the more we thought about it, the more we talked and yes we  do want to "adopt" you into our hearts.  How that plays itself out in real life is totally up to you....I wouldn't be surprised if you never write back, and I wouldn't be surprised if you do."

____________________________________________________________________

     Jennifer,

     I've been writing a series of notes celebrating my children.   I told you before I was finished, I wanted to write one for you too,  here it is...

      One of the highlights of this past year was crossing paths with you.  I never dreamed that before the year was out, we would meet you in person.  I told you after you left, but want  to say it again,  next to my wife and eldest daughter, , you probably know me better than  any other person because you've read my blog and  gotten to know the real me..

      and still you accept me....wow.

     I can't tell you how empowering that has been.   I think most of us long to be known and accepted for who they really are...you have given me that gift by your friendship.

     Here are some other things I appreciate about you...

      Your humility.  It takes a lot of guts to admit when you're struggling and could use some encouragement and direction.  I believe in you young lady ;-)

     You're passion for  helping hurting people.

     You're a giver..not an energy sucker.  You meet some people in life, and all  they do is suck you dry.  You come along side them, you listen, you love them...and all they do is want more, more more.  I think one of the things about you that has been exciting is to watch you fight and scrap your way through your brokenness...we pray for you regularly, you know that don't you? :-)

     You are a great mommy!  As we've  read your letters, and watched you in person, I can see that  you have a better handle on parenting than I did when I was your age.

     You are an encourager.  I so appreciated the time you told me to pick up the phone and call if ever I needed to talk with someone...didn't matter what time it was.  Just knowing that the offer was there, encouraged me...and the offer still stands, right? :-)

We love you as one of our own :-)    D and M

Today we look at the riches of our faith.

[audio http://www.thevinecf.com/radioprogram/007 JULY/wxfr pgm 07-25-08.mp3]

Call 1.888.682.9004 to order an unedited copy of this message. Click on The Vine Christian Fellowship link for more contact information.

Think best?

The sweet lady who gave me the pretty bouquet of lavender on Wednesday brought this to church for me yesterday! I feel like I am just abounding in blessings of lavender! What an encouragement all of these lavender gifts have been to me! The Lord is continuing to show me how much it means when we do these simple acts of kindness! We never know what a difference these little things can make! I am learning more and more! ♥

May the Lord continue to grow me in this area!

I hope you will know the Lord's blessing today ~ and that your weekend will be filled with joy! I think we are going blueberry picking today!!

]]> http://waywood.wordpress.com/?p=67 Sat, 26 Jul 2008 15:20:38 +0000 waywood http://waywood.wordpress.com/?p=67 Yesterday I talked about managerial incompetence and how it is possible to kill our own business without any help from the opposition.  Today I want to look at a few more true accounts from my own experience and see just how many companies are unaware that they are committing suicide, unless they change their ways.

I worked for one of the most innovative and creative companies in the world, at least that's what the text books tell me.  Perhaps it's because I worked on the wrong side of the Atlantic, or in a business unit for which they could not fathom out how to apply creativity, but whatever the reason, the terms creativity, innovation and business did not appear in the same book, let alone on the same sheet.   Sure we had lots of training on how to be creative, how to manage our people, how to give effective presentations that would pursuade our listeners to take on board what we were offering, how to change our internal culture, how to 'think outside the box', and we learnt lots of buzzwords, three letter acronyms (TLAs)  and phrases to show that we were at the forefront of the industry ... but in reality, outside of the training room very little changed. 

It was always easy to identify those who would be accelerated up the corporate ladder; they were the ones who spoke clearly and loudly about the latest initiative, within earshot of the people that mattered (to them at least).  Sadly, many of those high fliers wouldn't know a creative bone if you whacked them over the head with it!!  The systems, structures and management style they implemented was more akin to "Do as I say, when I say, not as I demonstrate."  And when a challenge came, we were encouraged to ignore it, pretend that it didn't exist or simply tackle it as we had always done. 

But the really sad thing for me was that many of these 'corporate stars' had no interest in other people, only projects and promotion.  They seemed to forget that they were part of a team, focussing instead on the fact that they were in charge.  What they said, went, and heaven help those who disagreed or dared to challenge such a view. And if they needed to backtrack and lie a little later on, or deflect the blame elsewhere then, hey, wasn't that what managers do.  One could ask about integrity?

Speaking to friends who work in large corporates, it seems that the situation is quite common, with infrastructures now so extensive and processes so complex that any chances for creativity and innovation have been extinguished.  The Kings of the Beasts have become dinosaurs, and the countdown to extinction has started, and will continue until they die ... or they change.

Opinion now is no longer that creativity and innovation are options; the are necessary and the very life-blood of survival and growth.  We have already seen big names of years ago disappear, even in the past few years.

Our propensity to killer tactics focussed on killing ourselves must be reversed.  Our survival and expansion depend on it.  But survival and expansion will also involve risk, a dirty word in many quarters.  Risk such as additional investment in training, even when budgets are tight; implementing changes for the good of all, not just the few ... and more.

I believe that as we return to actually focussing on making a positive impact on our staff, allowing them to contribute and influence our decisions, making them feel valued so that they give without being asked (rather than beaten into agreement or contribution), rather than just talking about it or training around it, then our impact on the market and on broader society will be greater and more positive.

Killer has more than one meaning; let's hope that we open our eyes in time to embrace its positive definition, rather than being a victim of the negative.

Until next time ...

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Doodad Expert witness:

One of the songs is based on 1 John 3:16:  By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. As I listened to my children's sweet voices singing along about Christ laying down His life for us, I felt convicted.  I was not loving my kids well.  I was not laying my life down for them.  I felt resentful of the ways they were sinning against me and making my life difficult.  How much more have I sinned against my Savior again and again, but He still went to the cross for me.  And so I am to lay down my life for my children (and others).

In that moment of conviction and guilt and sadness for my sin, I looked up from the kitchen to see Christopher looking at me with a Cheshire-cat grin on his face.  He said, "Momma, I'm smiling at you!"  "Why?"  I asked.  "Because I like you a lot," he answered.

Our God is so good.  He doesn't leave us in our sin.  He convicts us, but He also doesn't leave us wallowing in our guilt.  He graciously encourages us, letting us know that we are forgiven in Christ.  And often He provides a respite . . . soon after, Daddy arrived home from work, and everything was so much better.

Could there be a more touching "Thus says the Lord" than this? The voice of Jesus, as it echoed over the mountains and along the valleys of our unregenerate distance from God, seeking and finding and bringing us home, was inexpressibly sweet and irresistibly gracious. But, to hear that same voice, after our many wanderings, our repeated relapses, our sad backslidings, still seeking, still inviting, still imploring us to return, though we had "played the harlot with many lovers," oh, there is music in that voice such as the heavenly minstrelsy must bend their ear to catch.

My soul, you are "bent upon backsliding, even as a backsliding heifer." Your heart is as a broken bow, treacherous to the arrow fixed upon the string, and ready for its flight. Your purposes of good formed, but thwarted; resolutions of amendment made, but broken; plans of usefulness laid, but frustrated; prayers for grace offered, but forgotten; desires and aspirations after God sent up, but, through a deceitful and wicked heart, dissolving into air. Oh! how many and aggravated have your backslidings from God been--backslidings in heart, backslidings in deed--secret wanderings, open wanderings. You have "left your first love," have "forgotten your resting-place;" and, straying from the cross, have gone back to walk no more with Jesus. Truly, your "heart is like a deceitful bow."

But, has the Lord, by some gentle movement of His grace, or by some solemn event of His providence, aroused, overtaken, arrested you? Has He set a hedge around your path, that you could not find your lovers, bringing you to reflection, to penitence, to prayer? Then, listen, O my soul, to the gracious words of your "first husband;" "Yet return again to Me, says the Lord."

Spiritual restoration implies a spiritual re-conversion. In this sense we are to interpret our Lord's words to His fallen apostle Peter--"When you are converted, strengthen your brethren,"--that is, when you are restored, recovered, turned back again, employ your restored grace, the experience you have derived, and the lessons you have learned by your fall and recovery, in strengthening your weak brethren--in warning and exhorting, in restoring and comforting those who have been alike tempted, and have alike fallen.

There is something very expressive, tender, and touching in the word--"Again." "Yet return again." It sounds like the "forgiveness of seventy times seven."

Lord! I have wandered from You times without number--"Yet return again."

Lord! I have so often sinned and repented--"Yet return again."

Lord! You have received and forgiven me more than seventy times seven--"Yet return again."

Lord! I come confessing the same sins, deploring the same backslidings, acknowledging the same self-will and base ingratitude--"Yet return again to me, says the Lord."

Then, Lord! I come with weeping, and mourning, and confession, since Your tenderness, grace, and changeless love, and outstretched hand bid me.

"Return to Me."

My soul, rest not until you rest in Jesus. Let nothing come between your returning heart and your advancing, loving, forgiving Father. There is no true return of a backsliding believer but that which takes him past his repentance, past his tears, past his confessions, past his amendments, past his minister, and brings him at once close to Christ. There is no healing of the hurt, no binding up of the wound, no cleansing, no peace, no comfort, no joy, but as the soul comes to the blood, and nestles once more within the very heart of Jesus.

Now one might tend toward thinking that Christians would, as a faith group, share a pretty common worldview; after all Christians by definition claim Christ - yet this commonality of worldview clearly ISN'T THE CASE.  The reason for this seemingly strange situation ought to be well understood by any true, regenerate, born-again, Spirit-filled true believer in the Lord Jesus Christ.  The reason is that there are two streams of Christianity existing side-by-side, one true and one false.  The true church is the faithful remnant that comprises the church invisible which is hidden within the broader professing church.  These are the sheep of the true Shepherd's pasture, the wheat gathered into the barn of His harvest, the Body and Bride of Christ which has been purchased by the blood of the Risen Savior, an innumerable host which has been baptized into one Spirit, being made a temple of lively stones fitly joined together by grace through faith to the praise and glory of the Triune One True and Living God, the infinite Creator and Judge of the universe alone.  This is the Lord's doing and it's marvelous in our eyes!

The false church is the unfaithful harlot which comprises the apostate broader professing visible church.  These are the goats who are separated at judgment and the tares which are bound for the fire, the mouthpiece of Satan which has been turned over to reprobation and is rejected and despised of the Lord of Glory, an innumerable host which has reviled the pure religion and undefiled garments of righteousness offered by the Triune One True and Living God in favor of the perverted and idolatrous vain traditions of men and the stained garments and filthy rags of self centered works righteousness.  This false church will be cast from before the judgment seat and condemned to eternal destruction from before the face of the Lamb Whom they despised and rejected bearing eternal justice and wrath to the praise and glory of the Triune One True and Living God, the infinite Creator and Judge of the universe alone.  This is the Lord's doing and it's marvelous in our eyes!

While this backdrop may not have seemed terribly helpful, I do pray that it might aid some in understanding that while there are MANY who profess to be "Christians" the dear reader may be assured that FEW truly are (Matt. 7:14) and this should help explain why so many "Christians" often interpret their worlds and articulate their (frequently opposing) worldviews so very differently.

It's probably also worth clarifying at this point that I AM NOT asserting or making an argument that ALL TRUE BELIEVERS in the Lord will always see everything in exactly the same way!  Such thinking would be both overly simplistic and unbiblical.  In our fallenness even blood bought true believers in the Lord Jesus Christ can and will disagree - sometimes vehemently and heatedly - over a whole host of things.  This is because we don't have perfect knowledge - yet.  Perfection is always in the future for the saints of God so long as they're incarcerated in their flesh.  I should now also clarify that by my previous disclaimer I AM NOT asserting or making an argument that "true believers" can deny the essentials - the cardinal doctrines and articles of the Christian faith - and still be considered as "true believers".  For example those who would deny the Deity of Christ, the Tri-Unity of the Godhead, the Atonement of Christ, etc. would fall into the category described in the prior paragraph (see "false church" above).

By now you might be thinking "What in the world does any of this stuff have to do with your theology?  I mean, wasn't the title of this post 'MY THEOLOGY'?!?!  Get on with it, man!"  And of course you'd be right and I'd be guilty - once again - of being overly verbose and providing way too much background information before moving on to the subject at hand.  Such is my way, and because of it I'd like to extend you my sincerest apologies and encourage you to "let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."  (James 1:4)

With respect to my theology a cursory review of my bio at Meet the DefCon Team might be helpful as a starting point:

Greetings and welcome to DefCon! By way of introduction I am a born-again Christian who seeks to live in the presence of, under the authority of, and to the honor and glory of the Triune Yahweh Elohim Shaddai–the One True and Living LORD God Almighty Who is the totally self contained, completely self sufficient, and absolutely unique and infinite Creator of all things.

I believe the historic, orthodox, Biblical Christian faith as expounded solely in the 66 books of the Holy Bible is the only true and right religion that God Himself has revealed to mankind and all other faiths and extra-Biblical sources of revelation are absolutely false and without any eternal merit or redemptive power whatsoever. Through this medium I hope to share my worldview with any who are interested, and in this manner I hope to expand my witness to the lost, and extend whatever ability I’ve been given to edify the believer to the praise of the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ, the risen Savior.

Sola Scriptura! (Scripture alone); Sola Fide! (faith alone); Sola Gratia! (grace alone); Soli Christo! (Christ alone); Soli Deo Gloria! (to God alone be glory).

While the aforementioned brief overview might provide some small insights into my basic Christian worldview I intend to delve much deeper herein - and in a much more public manner - than I ever have in any forum up to this point in my life.  Please understand that I don't fancy myself as any armchair theologian, and it's not my intention with this post to start a philosophical/theological conversation, nor whip up an interesting controversy, nor least of all kick off a rollicking debate, rather I'm humbly sharing some discoveries that I've made about myself during my walk with my Lord in the light of inspired scripture as we've strolled together down the old paths of the historic, orthodox, fundamentalist Christian faith.

Some of you may have already encountered a piece written by John Samson entitled "What's My Theology?" and it was upon first reading this article quite some time ago that I began pondering my own theology.  The quote from R.C. Sproul perched atop John's article startled and unsettled me and afterward I became determined in the Lord to know what I believed about Him and His Word and why.  In the quote Sproul well said: "No Christian can avoid theology. Every Christian has a theology. The issue, then, is not, do we want to have a theology? That's a given. The real issue is, do we have a sound theology? Do we embrace true or false doctrine?" R. C. Sproul

As is often the case when I read R.C. Sproul his concise and clear inquiry left me with a pressing question and a with burning desire answer to it.  Much to my surprise upon a cursory review of John Samson's article I found myself in general agreement with many of his points, which seemed quite a strange thing to me since I had practically abandoned all hope of finding anyone else who shared what I had come to think to be my own unique brand of theology.  Mind you I didn't want to have my own unique brand of theology.  I thought something was wrong with me.  I wanted to be like everyone else who seemed so spiritually well adjusted and sure of themselves.  I wondered why I just couldn't fit into the cookie cutter denominational belief systems that were represented in the local churches in my area.  Was I a heretic?  Was I some kind of budding young cult leader?  Why did all the churches seem to be preaching and teaching their own varieties and flavors of doctrine and still I couldn't find one that tickled my ears and pleased my palate?  I was visiting the ecclesiastical equivalents of Baskin Robbins (31 flavors!) and Burger King (Have it your way!) yet nothing they had to offer ever satisfied my starving soul's inner longing for the Living Waters and the Bread of Heaven.

Using John Samson's article as a springboard or frame of reference I decided to prayerfully attempt to construct what I hoped would represent what I believed and thanks to John I didn't need to do much work!

Full disclosure: I am a 5-point Calvinist (5 Solas and all!) and I am radically Reformed in my thought, yet I'm also in complete agreement with the theological position that affirms the continuation of the spiritual gifts; though I might demure on their practical and normative use within the church.  In my view (as I understand scripture) cessationism is Biblically unsupportable and such is a position that I believe must be arrived at theologically by adopting an a priori presupposition and "coming at" scripture from a critical viewpoint, which is to say the least shaky spiritual ground.  Furthermore I believe this type of a priori approach to scripture is oddly enough a topical approach to scripture which is - at least in my mind - the very antithesis of the traditional expository and exegetical methodology historically employed by Reformed thinkers.  Please understand that I'm not taking this opportunity to throw stones as cessationists - I'm merely providing you with a few tidbits of background about myself.  I deeply respect the teachings of many cessationists, and have been richly blessed by their writings, but nonetheless I must utterly reject cessationism based on the Holy Bible alone (Sola Scriptura).

While I'm more than happy to say that I agree with and embrace many of Samson's theological positions I will also tell you that I would diverge from the article's author on several other points as you will see further on in this post.  For example unlike Samson I suppose I would classify myself a Pre-Tribulation Rapture Dispensationalist who views a yet future literal fulfillment of the eternal Abrahamic land covenants to be enjoyed by ethnic Israel during a physical millennial reign of Christ on earth - yet I'm extremely forgiving on this point and try hard not to be overly dogmatic on issues of eschatology given the nature of this most hotly contested Biblical subject though I would certainly and strongly defend my position over and against Samson's Amil view in all brotherly love and grace and have done so with other Amillers in the past.

Now, how about a point by point comparison/contrast using Samson's stated positions as our baseline?  Shall we?  Let's!  (The following section necessitates the reader having already reviewed or else having Samson's article linked above open in order to follow along):

(1) Calvinist - Full agreement, I accept everything Samson says here.

(2) Charismatic - Full agreement, I accept everything Samson says here.  The Lord has seen fit to grant me the gift of tongues and I pray in tongues frequently for personal edification in contradistinction to being granted the gift of speaking a “message in tongues” for the edification of the church at large.  Some argue that there is no such thing, but based on the writings of the Apostle Paul and my own personal experiences as understood in the light of inspired scripture I must beg to differ. 

(3) Complementarian - Full agreement, I accept everything Samson says here.  The role of women in the church is clear and men and women alike are fellow laborers with the Lord, albeit with different roles and responsibilities as it has pleased the Lord to reveal them to us in His Word.

(4) Christian Hedonist - Full agreement, I accept everything Samson says here.  It's quite possible that apart from the Holy Bible the Lord has used John Piper and his magnum opus "Desiring God" to radically transform my thinking more than any other book.  This book is a must read for every serious minded believer in the Lord Jesus Christ.

(5) Amillennialist - Complete disagreement, I reject everything Samson says here.  Okie dokie...this is where I crack my knuckles at the keyboard and stare at the screen with a long, contemplative, pensive, and blank stare.  With all respect I pray any Amil readers will hear my heart on this matter and not hear a diatribe.  I've read the Amil position over and over.  I've read it from multiple authors who are passionate and articulate.  I deeply respect many, many Amil theologians and thinkers just as I do with many, many cessationists.  I just can't; I can not;  I CANNOT "get it"!  How can you people believe that the Amil version of eschatology is Biblically justifiable if one so much as takes a peek out the door, reads a newspaper or has any understanding whatsoever of the current "state of affairs" both in the world and in the church? 

I hope readers will understand that I'm not personally offended by the Amil position nor any other "anti pre-trib Dispensationalist" position; I will certainly and vigorously disagree on the merits of scripture alone, but I'm not offended.  Furthermore I'm not offended by the Replacement Theology which naturally precedes the Amil position that says, in effect, "Spiritual Israel is replaced by the church".  Of course they're wrong to go on and imply that "the church gets all the blessings while ethnic Israel gets all the curses" - but this doesn't offend me per se, it merely perplexes me.  The fact is that there were ETERNAL/TEMPORAL covenants made by God to ETHNIC Israel that remain unfulfilled to this day.  It must be that God will fulfill those eternal/temporal covenants to His chosen people in the flesh - ethnic Israel.  The wall of partition is certainly broken down and those in Christ ARE in Christ, His Body, His Bride, His true remnant faithful, the church.  However it is equally true in scripture that there is an ethnic Jewish remnant that Christ has been promised and those yet future ethnic Jewish converts to Christianity must enjoy the earthly, temporal, covenantal blessings which were immutably and eternally made by God Himself to Abraham; i.e. the Abrahamic Covenant and Abraham's yet future physical seed through Isaac who were the divinely chosen inheritors.  The LAND portion of this covenant is simply unfulfilled - period.  King Solomon is the closest example to fulfilling this land covenant but he didn't fulfill it because the Western border of Israel never reached the Mediterranean sea as promised (notice how and from whom King Solomon obtained his lumber for the temple in 1 Kings).

Finally with regard to the Amil position I'm forced to ask; "What about the Jew?"  If God is finished with the ethnic Jew why are there so many of them running around all over the place today?  Why are they still obviously the recipients of God's blessing/curse in so many ways and why are they still obviously targets of the world's hatred in so many ways?  Why are they back in Israel today?  Why are the back in control of Jerusalem today?  What about the Jew?  The simple fact of the Jew ought to be a sobering and serious philosophical/theological challenge to the Amil position on eschatology unless one is willing to simply dismiss the matter and in effect say; "Problem?  What problem?  Eh, it's just a coincidence a minor and insignificant development."  I've actually received this sort of response from Amil proponents which is, to me, quite an intellectually lazy and disingenuous feint.

(6) Baptist - Full agreement, I accept everything Samson says here.  But since we're here...ah yes, paedobaptism and credobaptism...I'm not particularly "hung up" on baptism except to say that it is clearly a Biblical sacrament given by the Lord for all those who profess saving faith in the Him as a symbolic and spiritual union with His death, burial and resurrection.  If one wishes to dunk babies, or get dunked twice per week it doesn't make much difference to me because there's no power in the tap water, the power is in the blood.  I don't see many babies professing faith in Christ, and I don't see any power in tap water for remission of sins.  I do find it interesting that those who hold to infant baptism don't also hold to shoving crackers and juice down babies throats, forcing them partake in the Lord's Table; but I guess that's all I have to say about that. (This last statement was made with all the levity and "tongue in cheek" humor that is possible to muster and convey in a written message.)

(7) Misc. - Some of this stuff just plain surprised me, but here we go! 

a - Full agreement, I accept everything Samson says here. 

b - Full agreement, I accept everything Samson says here. 

c - I have no well formed opinion on this subject; though I find it very troubling for no Biblical reason that I can articulate at this time. 

d - I can't wrap my head around this in light of the "greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world" and "new creature in Christ" passages among others.  Maybe his intended use of "demonized" needs clarification for me to develop a stronger position on this point, I'm not sure.

e - I guess I tend more towards the symbolic here than the spiritually real quality of the Christ represented in the elements...but I don't think I'm overly committed on this point and concede that I need to prayerfully investigate the matter further in the scriptures.

There it is - My Theology!  With many hearty thanks to John Samson for so clearly articulating so much of what I believe and hold dear I shall close by saying that it is my earnest prayer that you, my reader, haven't found the rhetoric, comments, or questions in this piece to be abrasive, demeaning, or unloving in any way and if you did then I humbly ask for your forgiveness in the Lord.

She is such a willing little helper.  Now she's to the point that she asks if she can put the spoons in the dishwasher for me. (YEA!)  I plan to keep encouraging her to do more little tasks around the house to help out.  Tonight as we were heading out to the back yard, I was filling up her juice cup and I said "Grace, Mommy's helping you by filling up your juice before we go out.  Can you help me by putting my shoes by the front door in my room?"  "SURE MOM!"  came her usual reply.  (I had 3 pairs of shoes by the front door, all of them were worn at some point today :) )  Since there were 3 pairs by the door, and she is only 2, I guessed that she would put 1 pair or even 1 shoe away and of course I would be thanking her for being a good helper no matter how many she put away.  She came in the kitchen and said "I put them away mom."  I looked by the front door and she had put ALL 3 PAIRS away for me.......my heart was singing! 

There are days when I can't tell if we're making any progress through her 2 year old journey (what some people call the terrible two's.)  There are times when she embarrasses me in public with her bold 2 year old behavior.  There are times when I get "the look" from perfect strangers or from people I know who disapprove with my parenting methods and style....... and then there are times like tonight, that she does something that just makes me smile big and makes my heart sing.......so, I think we'll make it through the 2's together after all.