President Signs Mental Health Parity Legislation!

Thanks to the thousands of Advocacy Network members who lent tireless support to our years-long effort to win enactment of legislation to end discrimination in mental health coverage. Today we won! After House passage of the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act today, 263-171, President Bush has at last signed mental health/addiction parity into law.
Click here to learn more about the Paul Wellstone and Pete Domenici Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act of 2008.

-Fantastic news worth celebrating!

I love fall!

I love our annual trip to the apple farm, the continued but slowing scramble to farmer's markets until they close shop next month, the cool nights and the warmth of a wood-fed fire pit surrounded by the deep and intoxicating smells that this season brings along with it. The cornstalks soon to be put out along with the vibrantly hued pumpkins, the trees' deciduous leaves now changing in accord... it's a sensory orgasm!

Last week seemed a bit more hectic, balancing home, family and a personal work-life in conjunction with extended family and friends for our annual Late Summer-Fall Equinox potluck. But all the work and preparations reminded me how vital it is reconnecting with others whose lives are busy like ours, whose children are growing and/or grown, and gather for one evening to celebrate the change of season, share a bountiful meal, taste new creations, revisit old favorites and maintain some deeper meaning within our lives.

A couple of weeks ago I was inspired to see BANA (Bulimia Anorexia Nervosa Association) holding it's Global Dinner Table Conference (wonderful titled theme!) and extending efforts to educate and connect within the Ontario region with spokeswoman, advocate and eTalk journalist Ms Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau presenting a powerful personal journey through recovery from bulimia. Now as a healthy mother, wife and proponent for eating disorders she stated quite beautifully: "healing means reconstructing your notion of self, and who you are, and your connection with the world".

BANA is one of a handful of grassroots organizations that actually carries out valuable, useful support and services instead of only allocating funds-donations and collecting data, along with having a vital partnership with the Local Health Integration Networks (LHINs) that is broadly interconnected with hospitals, medical communities, local demographics, schools and universities to align more effectively with clinicians and the broader public to reach those in need and provide support for families.

Another organization of note that has recently joined earlier this month at the "global table" is BEDA (Binge Eating Disorder Association) which can be additionally pivotal towards connecting those whose diagnosis is either "undefined" "unspecified" or completely overlooked towards the resources they need, and continue providing the educational and preventative services as well as highlighting probably the most common form of eating disorder more broadly present.

It's aspiring to see such organizations take root and develop, gathering together as a unified front to fight an illness that has left far too many for too long uninvited or unheard to now join at "the global table" to come together!

I have to admit that I'm clinging to each last bit of the end-of-summer like a fool, but with the rain and chill today, it's a bit easier to keep the Bodum filled and not mind too much. September seemed to happen so quickly, where did the time go?

The shortening of daylight and coolness of the evenings suddenly has me lugging out the sweaters and rummaging for fleece to accompany our early night walks by the lake, while still savoring the seemingly endless supply of heirloom orbs I'm basically giving away at this point before they rot- and with the onslaught of fruit flies scurrying to hold on and survive as well, that is a nuisance that won't be missed.

Like most families with school-aged children, last week marked the beginning of another school year, which brings with it much excitement, anticipation, and sometimes, as for our daughter, a bit of anxiety when recovering from an eating disorder.

But that's okay.

This semester she's surrounded by many who know about her eating disorder, and are behind her, beside her, in their hearts and also working with her on a regular basis, like her Art Therapist, Yoga "guru", ED therapist, nutritionist, pediatrician as well as close loving family and countless friends (teens are such magnets for camaraderie and energetic spirit... it's hard to resist and really has been such a blessing!)

It's so important to have that "net" of support during and throughout the recovery process. And while it's not always easy to find and coordinate this type of collaborative care, let alone pay for and/or get insurance coverage for this extensive care- it's so well worth the effort to keep plugging away, advocating for your son or daughter, and getting the "right fit" for both your child and also for you as the parent(s), caregivers, and extended family.

Numerous studies are aplenty regarding the effects of stress in our lives- stress is part of life for both human and animal, there is no denying this. Stress also has an evolutionary and survival component, but too much and not enough "down time" to recoup and rest and we all know what happens. Many of us also know how stress also can play a role in exasperating and/or intensifying levels of eating disordered behaviours in our loved one's lives.

Dr Esther Sternberg was speaking on public radio last night while I was driving home from a messy, but productive day- for once! at the studio. And the conversation really got me itching to reread her book The Balance Within once again after the past couple of weeks going to numerous Dr appointments, back-to-school-shopping, noticing some tensions in our daughter's behavior(s); and getting things ready for the start of the school year. It has been stressful!

It was interesting to listen to Dr Sternberg talk. She's incredibly intelligent, grounded, but also very human. She's been called a "scientist's scientist" as she's a bit hesitant towards all the overkill-joy on the Self Help end minus a balanced critical and logical analysis of what we've been learning, and do know about human cells, the brain, genetics, neural circuitry, etc. currently. And how technology, continued research/study has opened up so much to illuminate on these previously charted as well as uncharted seas, so that we can begin to really delve deeper within a broader understanding behind why you might feel like shit, or are swimming endlessly in "the blues", and just can't deal with all that stress, dammit!

I think this past couple of weeks reminded me of how sometimes the simple things are really quite wonderful. Listening to the shared support of other parents, sufferers who really have climbed that mountain of ED-Himalayas and stuck a "Fug You ED" flag on the peak, then courageously climbed down to live full, healthy lives. Dr's and clinicians who truly connect with you and your child and actually "get it", both what your child is grappling with, yet not belittling their struggle, or as a parent/caregiver, your own; and continuing to make that commitment towards supporting your child's recovery, even when things seem temporarily "stuck" week after week.

Our daughter had a wonderful half-week back rejoining with friends and classmates, she loves her classes, new level teachers and has taken on a couple of additional social-activity/clubs this semester to fill in for field hockey, cross-country and ballet. And while she's very determined to get back to dance at some point, she's also realizing what other talents she can nurture and cultivate while her body and mind continue to heal. A time for all things in good time.

-shanti

Hope is not the closing of your eyes to the difficulty, the risk,or the failure.

It is trust that-If I fail now -I shall not fail forever;and if I am hurt,I shall be healed .

It is trust that Life is good, love is powerful, and the future is full of promise.

- Anonymous

Eating disorder recovery, like gardening, is most definitely a labor of love.

And while I've been gardening as long as I can remember (although when I was younger, I absolutely detested those summers in the "country" toiling, weeding and watering; the only salvation was my G-Ma's raspberry pies- and oh, how we grumbled and complained! Such indentured servants to the land we were; little did we know the lessons being planted early on by our wiser parental-elder units indeed!) with digging and transplanting in country soil, urban community plots, studio rooftop gardens, CSA worker-share's- you name the place, I've always found a way, even on a low budget, to squeeze something beneficial, tasty and aesthetically pleasing into the ground our family happened to be living on top of.

With only two years passing since our daughter was diagnosed with anorexia, there are many things we are still learning together about this illness and how to best tend-cultivate to our daughter's support and recovery. But we have definitely learned so much since she was diagnosed, what works, what definitely doesn't, when to move on, regroup/restrategize, and also when to let things be, step back, and also knowing when to step back in when needed. Quite like tending to a garden plot I'd say.

And I can't but think as I'm scrambling to let the frittata cool, get the gazpacho out, toss the pasta with fresh tomatoes from the garden... we have ten or twenty arriving? ugh! Hubby's tending the proverbial flame to finish the tandoori chicken and burgers- that some of the best lessons are learned from the garden.

__________________________________


For the garden of your daily living, plant three rows of peas:

• Peas of mind
• Peas of heart
• Peas of soul

Plant four rows of squash:

• Squash gossip
• Squash indifference
• Squash grumbling
• Squash selfishness

Plant four rows of lettuce:

• Lettuce be faithful
• Lettuce be kind
• Lettuce be patient
• Lettuce really love one another

No garden is without turnips:

• Turnips for meetings
• Turnips for service
• Turnips to help one another

To conclude our garden, one must have thyme:

• Thyme for each other
• Thyme for family
• Thyme for friends

-Jessica Prough

Have a wonderful and abundant Labor Day!

... then shouldst have it for gingerbread*.   -William Shakespeare

      * Or in my case fresh carrot cupcakes

                                  _______________________________

Summer is winding down and it's been a fantastic couple of months.  Gracious thanks to those of you who continued to email throughout the summer (for almost a month we were too deep in another world to even want access to the internet) with a wealth of supportive and heart-filled thoughts.  I was touched beyond words that can even begin to express my endless appreciation to you all.  And though I didn't get a chance to respond to everyone in kind as of yet, I just wanted to share, once again how much this has meant to me and our family-- merci!**

On another update-note, Drs Daniel le Grange and James Lock will be conducting a one and 1/2 day FBT-Maudsley training targeted towards adolescents with eating disorders in Portland, Maine: September 23-24th.  What a wonderful opportunity to continue to utilize family-based, supportive and evidence backed treatment practices that integrate all those involved within their loved ones' care and recovery.  Mary Orear, executive director of Mainely Girls is sponsoring this event, for further information click on the highlighted link.

Hope all of you had a restful and recuperative Summer-- and looking forward to reconnecting more regularly soon!

-shanti

With Dr Daniel leGrange taking his sabbatical in Australia there has been a hub of conference presentations and various skills-based workshops  and training for implementing the Maudsley Method into eating disorder treatment and care as well as informing and assisting families and caregivers of utilizing this Family-Based approach to help their loved one.

The collaboration and gathering of these individuals, families and professionals probably could not have arrived at a better time since Australia has recently been highlighting an increase of younger children diagnosed with anorexia. 

On a positive note, one Sydney mother describes their experience using the Maudsley Method for their adolescent daughter as valuable and further stated, "It's not a quick fix. But we're absolutely stronger as a family. We've always been strong."

Go Maudsley!

The European Eating Disorder Review published two interesting case studies utilizing the NF therapuetic intervention which resulted in some differences (though it appeared both participants found the method beneficial from their personal feedback) which involve three distinct Sessions:

• Session 1 - Neuropsychological Assessment
• Session 2 - Feedback, Formulation & Target Setting
• Session 3 - Reflection

Researches Carolina Lopez, Marion Roberts, Kate Tchanturia and Janet Treasure make clear that these results are preliminary and indeed need further development and study, but that they show promise towards working individually with AN sufferers (I would also think this modality can be implemented and fine-tuned specifically within the other eating disorder spectrum/diagnosis' as well) and their distinct cognitive processes that can be or become increasingly rigid, singly focused, and inflexible keeping one "stuck" (my words) in a repetitive cycle usually not helpful for an eating disorder sufferer.  The "aim of the intervention is to help individuals transcend their information processing styles and develop a more balanced strategy in their relationship with food and shape/weight".

What stood out positively within the study was pointing out that there is no "right or wrong" in terms of a sufferers cognitive style, and that the emphasis was not to constantly drill a negative personal message of something being "wrong" with an individual.   But rather, using the modality to assist in being able to "step back" (where the reflection session comes in) and gain some personal perspective, more reflectively  to "problem solve" and restrategize what may be perpetuating a cyclical unhealthy processing in terms of the eating disorder and cognitive-rigidity; and expand a broader scope to better assist and support the sufferer within continued recovery. 

What also stood out to me personally in reviewing the case studies was a reflection upon how "acting quickly", finding treatment, experienced and trained providers, and having a "plan of action" earlier vs later cannot be understated.  And sometimes you have to really be a bug up someones arse to get things moving and changing, or finding better care if you're not getting the services you or your loved one need-- so don't give up, keep plugging forward -- everyday is a new beginning.

-shanti

             Interesting use of metaphor...

                       are you taking care of your Earth Suit-- I hope so!

            - Bonne Nuit

The Klarman Family Foundation Grants Program in Eating Disorders Research whose long term goals are to accelerate progress in developing effective treatments for eating disorders has listed their 2008-2010 Award Recipients of outstanding scientists and researchers in the field :

• Wade Berrettini, MD, PhD - University of Pennsylvania - Genome-wide Association Study of Anorexia
• Catherine Dulac, PhD Harvard University - Genetic & Epigenetic Pathways Underlying the Neural Circuits of Feeding Behavior
• Guido Frank, MD - University of Colorado Denver - The Brain Reward System Across the Major Eating Disorders & its Relationship to Genotype
• Angela Guarda, MD - John Hopkins University School of Medicine- Role of the Cannabinoid (CBI) System in Bulimia Nervosa
• Alvaro Pascual-Leone, MD, PhD - Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center - The Role of the Right Prefrontal Cortex in Binge Eating Disorder: A Translational Research Study Using Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) & Functional Magnetic Resonance Imagery (fMRI)
• Maribel Rios, PhD - Tufts University School of Medicine - Examination of the Role of Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor in Binge Eating Disorder
• Leslie Vosshall, PhD - The Rockefeller University - Identification of Novel Genes & Circuits in Animal Model of Binge Eating Disorder
• Jeffrey Zigman, MD, PhD - U.T. Southwestern Medical Center - Mechanism by which Ghrelin & Orexin Defend Against Depression & Anxiety

Real scientists and genuine clinicians doing real work to make continued strides towards improved treatments, diagnostic tools, preventative modalities in treating eating disorders more of a reality along with further educating/training the medical community and wider public-- CONGRATULATIONS!  Many of us wish you full-speed ahead as well!

-salut

There are few individuals who truly rise to a level of integrity, experience, commitment and compassion when it comes to researching and treating eating disorders that I can honestly say are worthy of note, let alone far too few dedicated and wisely seasoned clinicians available for sufferers and families assisting and caring for loved ones to have equal and affordable access to.   Dr Daniel le Grange at the University of Chicago is most certainly one of those individuals.

For parents who have younger children or adolescents suffering with an eating disorder you are probably already aware how vital early diagnosis and intervention are to restoring your child's health.  Many families and parents are unfortunately still treated as the "problem" or blamed/shamed into believing that they "caused" their child's eating disorder, and sometimes, worse yet, doctors don't even take seriously the early warning signs of eating disordered behaviors as well as weight loss in younger patients and dismiss the parents concerns despite the "highest concentration of most sufferers of Anorexia Nervosa being in the adolescent female population"-- time is not on anyone's side when you delay diagnosis and immediate treatment.

And treatment programs along with many clinicians still leave the family aside and ignored vs being utilized as a vital resource in assisiting and collaborating within helping their child recover, and working with as well as healing the entire family unit.  This makes many of us parents quite irate since we know our children best and were the first to have noticed the drastic changes in our child's behavior, took initiative in researching treatment options/providers, and then continue to take action, resources and advocate for our children while waiting for many in the medical community and insurance industry to finally wake up and begin implementing true evidence-based treatment strategies that work instead of constantly reinventing the wheel, over and over...

Parents, Families/Partners and Caregivers of Children and Adolescents suffering with this illness please take heart, find continued reassurance, and be re inspired by reading Dr le Grange and Dr Loeb's Early Intervention in Eating Disorders as well as Dr le Grange's Treatment Model for Eating Disorders in Children & Adolescents :

• Parents are a RESOURCE in helping the adolescent
• Most parents CAN help the adolescent
• Parents have SKILLS to bring to treatment
• Therapist leverages parental skills and relationships to bring about change
• FBT-Family Based Therapy is the only evidence-based treatment shown to be efficacious and cost effective

On the Centre for Excellence in Eating Disorders (CEED) website, where if you are an Australian native they are also providing FBT and eating disorder treatment study for families free for participants, which they did here in the states at the University of Chicago a few years back.

Some day Eating Disorder Treatment will be this good everywhere -- until then, keep fighting the good fight and don't give up!

-shanti

Vrishabha- the sacred bull of Lord Shiva... or more widely known- Taurus, the Bull reigns this month of May.  Our daughter turns 14 on this May 20th, and she definitely characterizes the nature of the bold, loyal, and very stubborn Taurus!

Before being diagnosed with Anorexia, birthday's had always been a festive and richly tasting  affair.  And while we'll continue partaking in this annual delight, it's still a bit difficult for her to freely enjoy what never took a second guess years past.  She's committed to challenging herself, though there are days she's not too happy to do so, and will boldly (envision the Taurus with plumes of smoke flaring from nostrils!) make that clear-- well, what were you like at 14, minus an eating disorder? 

I'm forever grateful to those who also remain equally, if not at times more, committed to helping support our daughter in keeping focus upon her recovery.  Recovery is not easy for sufferers, and parents still get  bawked a' plenty and treated with disdain, misjudgment, and left to the side when there requires a much more encompassing circle to complete for true healing and whole-ness to take place.  And dualistically, sufferers also need their own space, their own pace to regain their true Selves back once nutritionally and weight stabilized-- this requires alot of Love, patience, perseverance and sometimes a compassionately coordinated "team" all working together.  It makes me think of the Buddhist practice of mindfulness and the use of "a two-handed practice":

_____

I can sit in my predicament as a witness, not as a plaintiff or judge: 'Here I am in this situation and I sit squarely in it and breathe into it.  At the same time, I am aware that I can handle this and get through it without becoming devastated.  I can trust my competence neither to become dramatically overwhelmed nor to be stoically untouched.  This sense of competence frees me from fear, since fear thrives on powerlessness.  I imagine myself holding my predicament in one hand and my power to work with it in the other.  One hand is serenely mindful; one is courageously working.  When I hold both realities this way, I am agreeable to things as they are, and I am doing all I can to change them for the better as well."   -D. Richo 

_____

This resonates with me deeply as a parent and the complexities illnesses like eating disorders present to us.  Now if only we can collectively and universally have provided the very best in evidence-based, highest standard of quality care of treating eating disorders and supporting families in such a comprehensively and equally accessible manner-- that would be my wish!

Our daughter has many "wishes" and dreams she wants to pursue.  We simply want to wish her a very Happy Birthday, happy 14th Year, to continued Health and vitality... and to a courageous healthy-stubborn side that can be an anchor for her when difficulties and stress arise.  Knowing she can reach out and ask for help, she's worth every ounce of her hard work on the road to recovery she has traveled thus far, and that we Love her very, very much!

-XOXO Mom*Dad*Big'Sis

This is a day of promise -
Of hopefulness, laughter, and cheer,
For this is a day of remembering
The good things that happened all year -
A day for reflecting on memories
Shared with friends and with family, too,
Who were so much a part
of the joys in your heart
And the love that you felt
all year through-
This is a day of promise
Of the beauty and warmth life can hold,
And of new dreams to dream
and more love to share
Through a year that's about to unfold.

-Emily Matthews

-epicself

Well I haven't been blogging to an idealized expectation... but there is good reason-- SPRING!  

This time of year is definitely infectious for us.  Things are blooming, the soil is deep, dark, rich and inviting (which reminds me, the compost needs turning)  and I simply can't resist when the weather beckons and stays as wonderful as it has.  We spend most of our time outdoors when spring and summer arrive so I can only apologize for posting infrequently and sporadically.  And this summer we'll be either vacationing in India, the Rocky Mountains, or beachin' it on Big Sur-- so even more intermittent rambles, c'est ca!

This weekend is also Chicago's Green Festival and we'll be heading out for the party.  Personally I can't think of a better way of treating the family with some fun, gorgeous weather, great food and extended community company!

Wishing all of you a very Bountiful, Healthy and Happy Summer!

-shanti

                                                    Being an artist

                                     means, not reckoning and counting,

                                             but ripening like the tree

                                          which does not force its sap

                                               and stands confident

                                             in the storms of spring

                                       without the fear that after them

                                              may come no summer

                                             -RAINER MARIA RILKE-

All Women in this World are forms of the Goddess

 -Devi Mahatmya 11.6

Wishes for a Very Happy Mother's Day!

Most of us realize that we need "fat" not only in our diet, but within our bodies-- I say most since when you have an eating disorder, know someone with an ED, or care for someone suffering with this illness, specifically anorexia nervosa, which is hallmarked by the intense fear of gaining weight, this is a very difficult truth to swallow as well as visually accept within ones' physical body.  

There are also some studies that suggest for some this "fear" can be a precusor to eating disorders  among the array of environmental, behavioral influences as well as genetic and/or biochemical predeterminers that scientists are still compiling and discovering that can leave some individuals much more susceptible than others to either severe eating disordered behavior, EDNOS, or a severe diagnosed eating disorder that requires serious and comprehensive treatment. 

What's also intriguing is the work by researchers continuing to unfold in evolutionary biology, genetic imprinting, and epigenetic inheritance which I'm certain there are correlations within these findings and eating disorders that have yet to be fully available and utilized, but may be able to provide us with a much more inclusive picture behind the illness and how to improve prevention and treatment.

There was a recent study highlighting the benefits (mostly catching everyone's eye with the glorification of our ever evolving rump, or as writer Debra Dikerson slammed in Salon.com last year about mainstreaming "Gi-normous butts") of subcutaneous fat, which produces hormones known as adipokines found to boost metabolism (of course, I'm assuming this study will also fuel the weight-loss industry and war-on-obesity too) found in the booty area as well as belly and showing to be protective against type2 diabetes, but also reaffirming the adage that "diets don't work" and briefly explains why this is part of the reason it's difficult to keep that weight off once lost; and that our fat cells are set during adolescence and don't decrease, but do actually expand in size.   

And while I don't embrace the the good/bad dichotomous thinking and categorization of really anything when it comes to our daily living and Life-- you tend to find things more in shades of gray or muted with other colors vs just a pigment of one-- the study is looking at two types of fat: subcutaneous and visceral , and where they are found within the body.  Subcutaneous tends to be in the booty and stomach area, and has more benefits vs visceral, which tends to be the gunk blocking arteries, causing damage to organs-- sorry to say you're bad visceral, or maybe scientists just haven't fully found out what you're doing and why you are getting such a bad wrap. 

Another study that continues in similar dialogue and highlights the complications of metabolic syndrome and that this can be triggered by overeating, which is correlated with weight gain, especially if done consecutively over a sustained period of time, and makes me wonder about endocannabinoids and their role cause/effect in obesity  and how this, if at all correlates.  The study also points to our fat cells being set during adolescence,  but Dr Stephen O'Rahilly of Cambridge remains unconvinced, and isn't prescribing to this determination just yet.

Maybe another more basic message to keep at forefront is that it's not nice to fool with Mother Nature-- she rises up with a vengeance.  Our bodies have evolved over time and there is inherit wisdom to what we carry around with us everyday.

-Love Thyself

While I'm playing with WP Themes -my creative side itches- I've been curious what other parents and those who have found their path towards healing, recovery and well being from their eating disorder find gives them greatest support and sustains them throughout? At your most difficult times, what has buoyed and held you steady, lifted you up and got you through (like my friend Ganesha up there)? 

Do you wish some things could have been done better in hindsight, wished clinicians, treatment providers, community resources, insurance, etc. could have known perhaps more than you, practicing with up-to-date, evidenced-based research and data vs rehashing false and painful stereotypes that can keep a family from getting the best care possible? And that  everyone worked more as a cohesive whole vs fragmented, inconsistent, and leaving too many gaps for uncertainty and misunderstanding-- or worse barely any informative communication or basic follow up to keep focus on the best methods towards recovery and support?

And if you were/are a parent(s), caregivers, extended-family, siblings do you wish there would have been services that encompassed and included the entire family, and not just for weekly family therapy sessions, the once a month "Family & Friends" events held at treatment centers.  But further additional healing and supportive measures like what is comprised in most respite centers/facilities and typically standard for family members when a child has cancer, or any other major life-threatening illness. 

All of us know that ED's are potentially life-threatening if proper treatment and nutritional support are not addressed, and the sooner diagnosis is made and intelligent, comprehensive action taken, the better the chances recovery can be, and less relapsing and monumental expenses for the revolving door of IP, OP, residential, IOP, etc. care.

Being a parent of an adolescent with an ED, there are unique aspects to what parents and family members need, your life and "time" seem to come to complete stops and starts depending on where the progression of the illness may be, how many extra hands there are to pitch in when you need time to take care of yourself, take care of other siblings, reconnect with spouses, get some perspective, and to keep centered and strong. 

If I were to draw a graph of how our family has progressed through our daughter's illness, it would have some deep dips and high escalations, and many dotted straight lines-- but not always clearly defined and consistent (thinking about this makes me want to create just such a map/graph!)  Sometimes things seem to just "click" and things move forward without much ado; but there are other times when it seems the cyclone of ED can just demolish the very health and Life of an entire household, leaving pulverized rubble and ruin that needs the utmost and gentlest of care and compassion-- those are the moments when all your resources get pulled together and you roll up your sleeves and get down to business-- you take action and you may find setbacks galore, but you also find incredible inner resilience, Hope, courage and more Love than you ever realized was always there. 

Moments like these can also be some of the most magnificent and humbling of points within our human experience ...

 I feel a deep human need to collectively share these experiences, swap stories- like sharing a recipe!- connect with others who "get it" and aren't going to be dismissive, discourteous, judgmental or even worse, think I'm a bit over-the-top... off my rocker... box 'o crack 'o jack, etc. 

And I think if it weren't for the Internet of collective voices, fellow parental-comraderie and individuals such as an incredible Mom who hosts a forum for parents to find one another, along with so many of you whom I've met virtual-via email, your websites/blogs, etc. and found such amazing insight and resolve into this illness-- I do feel I would have felt much more isolated and possibly a bit more despairing (I say a bit since my Finnish ancestry is laced with "SISU" = strength... so this would not have lasted long) but it also points to the reality of the importance to support and encourage one another through the recovery and healing process within eating disorders.  To make certain adequate treatment is delivered, proper support and resources are available in all demographics. 

Change is still quite snail-paced within ED's, so I think our collective voices and efforts however big or small DO matter and make a difference.

Now if only I could get some of the ladoos (Indian sweet) that Ganesha is holding... my rant would be complete.

-shanti

I love how the birth of International No Diet Day began "from a picnic in Mary's living room" in the early '90's and fertilized it's magnitude world-wide.  Ms Evans-Young is herself a recovered anorexic and wrote the book Diet Breaking: Having it all Without Having to Diet and it couldn't be a better time than now to let the message sink in-- deep and with reflection.

Largesse gives the background on the term: size esteem  which was initially coined by Richard Stimson, husband to a contributing director/writer at the site, Karen Stimson who explains it perfectly:

- Feeling acceptance of, respect for, and pride in one's body, whatever its size or shape -

But I like this analogy even more highlighted by Cheri Erdman EdD who wrote the book Live Large! and thought about it as a simple yet poignant equation:  Size Acceptance + Self Esteem = SIZE ESTEEM

Either way you think about it, the insanity of dieting, wanting to force our bodies to be a size/shape it was not genetically determined to be-- and thankfully so for the beautiful variety of shapes, sizes, colors, we all add to the collage of life, is quite dubious. 

It's even further magnified when you or a loved one suffer from an eating disorder and are trying to regain your health and follow through with recovery and maintaining wellness in a seemingly endless fat-phobic, diet-crazed, fashion-consumed environment.  Our daughter at times can take on this incessant self-doubt and accusational inquiries about why she has to eat what she has to when others, her classmates, etc. eat less than she does and are constantly discussing "fat" laden topics--- it's enough to make anyone go a little bonkers.  Advertisers, marketing, the health ins field, even health care (hey, let's face it-- those mega-million dollar hospitals that now look more like shopping malls want  to treat the ill business) and the all time winner: the diet industry.

Stuffed and Starved is a title from researcher Raj Patel more about food prices, the global-glut, etc. but I had to think about this a little bit more this morning how it really ties into so many other layers of Life-- and will be worth dissecting and playing off the similar as well as dissimilar dualities we can only pretend don't exist, or just think is someone else's "problem" to fix, get over, medicate-- like the cliched remark I've heard countless times since our daughter was diagnosed with anorexia- "why doesn't she just eat?!", then the instant turn against parents when our children don't eat = it's your fault, you did something "wrong", etc.

Yes, INDD is a day we find relative and meaningful in our family.  And with the weather reaching low 70's, sun shining-- I think a picnic is just what we'll do to celebrate this day!

-shanti

I awoke early before the rest of the family this morning to have some quiet time- make some chai, sit out on the deck in the bitter chill, layered in winter-wear.  May 1st it is... our daughter will be turning a year older this month and is fully discharged from the eating disorder program she has had several months of treatment in, both inpatient, residential and finishing with their intensive outpatient program. 

Thinking back to her initial admission in November seems eons away from where she is now.  She's come full-circle, rather similar to the cycle of the year and anticipated, sometimes even prominent, seasonal changes (this winter was one of the heaviest in terms of snowfall and duration!) that mark distinct, at times mundane or significantly important passages of time. For our family it was one of change, acceptance and movement forward- leaving what does not nurture or support us happily behind.  And with great hope, looking towards the future, but staying as grounded and balanced as possible in the present.

I remember when our daughter's were much younger and attended a Waldorf school where seasonal change, holidays and traditions were both honored and incorporated directly within the curriculum (such idealism we as parents carried-- but so much fun!) and one of the highlights of the school's year end was the annual May Faire that had Maypole dancing, farmer's market, crafts... just all around energy, wonderful food, children running, giggling, singing with weaved flower-crowns or greenery in their hair (parents too!) and just an all-around connected sense of community, diversity and optimism-- SPRING had sprung! It was a celebration to honor the changing of the seasons, from darkness into light.  Back then our daughter was completely free from fears of food and worries of weight-gain, she couldn't have been farther from such an ugly menace as ED.

Much time has passed since those pre-K days, and our children grow to find their own unique challenges and strengths-- sometimes we are faced with circumstances in our lives that can send one afloat upon unchartered territory, navigating can be difficult, but you find a way back to dry land, solid ground and the comfort of those that love and welcome you; and are there for you "have your back" when you need them most. 

Yesterday after our daughter had a brownie with "sprinkles" I realized she is really making huge steps towards facing the ED demon head-on, and while she won't admit at this point "Wow! I just loved that brownie-- Yum, yum!" she is taking what is presented to her each day, much more consciously than five months ago.  Perhaps not always with her trademark dimpled smile and sparkly eyes, but she's doing it, and we're cheering her on!

As I see the small buds on the apple and cherry trees grow in size each day, and the striking presence of the yellow daffodils dot the yard along with the tulips beginning to take on their dark hues; I feel on this first day of May that we're finally able to see some Light shine back into our own families' healing and daily rhythm more akin to life before ED-- and that feels so wonderful!

                    An optimist is the human personification of spring

                                       -  Susan J. Bissonette

Howard S. Hoffman

                    We tend to see only what we are prepared to comprehend.

                                         Howard S. Hoffman ...On Life

Tula Karras

When your child is diagnosed with an eating disorder your life changes- permanently.  There is no looking back (though you do, and weep and grieve for the child you once knew and still know lies underneath the ED just waiting to find his/her way back-- and they do!) there is no denying the obvious even when this illness can completely blindside and throw you off your center until you fully understand and grapple with its complexity-- and even then you can still be utterly perplexed. 

But you take action, keep your son/daughter safe, provide nutritional sustenance, comfort and support.  You find the appropriate medical care, treatment facilities and resources that will help him/her, as well as yourself,  find their way back to health, well being and continuing to work towards their full recovery-- however that needs to happen- you just do it.  We're parents, Moms&Dads, families, grandparents, cousins, all taking those measures and lending a hand because we love each other and want to see those suffering find their way back to their true selves, living their dreams, passions and finding happiness- not perfection- in what gift of our Lives we have been given.  Life is certainly not an easy journey, and growing up, becoming an adult, raising a family, fumbling through difficulties-- these are all illuminating lessons to help bring us back to grace and compassion, wisdom and understanding.

Something within my own inner perspective and thinking is having a bit of a snag though.  Maybe because I know how damn hard it is to wrestle with an illness our daughter was diagnosed with over a year ago.  Knowing how hard she has worked to get to where she is now, how much more persistence and vigilance she will continue to have, especially now that she is fully discharged from the eating disorder program she has been intensely involved with for several months, and facing a culture and society that seems to be ironically having increased insecurities, issues and numbers of individuals (especially within older adult populations) with "disordered eating" patterns and behaviors, which to me on the outside look and behave just like our daughter did prior to her being diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. 

There is this surreal sensation that comes over me when I briefly skim over an article in SELF Magazine that highlights a partnered survey studythat was done in collaboration with Dr Cynthia Bulik and the University of North Carolina that states that "3 out of 4 American Women have disordered eating" and the magazine survey whose participants numbered over 4000, and probably still counting on both the survey, forum and follow up, continue to show an increase in disordered eating patterns and ranges of destructive habits that clearly as Dr Margo Paine boldly states exemplifies, "Dieting is a national pastime for women" and "as a society, we don't see the problem".

The survey also goes further into describing additional categories that 6 out of 10 (1 out of 10 have eating disorders) women who are categorized as "disordered eaters" describe themselves into specific subsets:

* Calorie Prisoners

* Secret Eaters

* Career Dieters

* Purgers

* Food Addicts

* Extreme Exercisers

Of course, none of these descriptors are new.  But while some studies and stats have been pointing towards an increase of younger individuals being diagnosed with eating disorders, which may indeed be on the rise, though it's always difficult to know whether we are only getting better at earlier diagnosing and intervention; and if some of the outcry and attention to the issue is creating the continued awareness, discussion, research and treatment standards.  But this survey, as some previous others, is showing the age range to be in the adult category of a 25-45 year old female base, and from what I've read in some previous studies, this seems to be more consistent and increasing if you are to follow the conclusions.

Yes, I'm perplexed and even angry.  I don't want to see anyone needlessly suffering with any disordered eating behavior(s) that can have even the subtlest of impact upon ones' health- period.  But I also have another irritating irk in thinking about the continued impact these findings, if they are showing continued rises in eating-disordered behavior have upon our youth and young adults who are watching, reading, and taking in this information too.  What, if anything does this ultimately translate to and what can be done to counteract this deranged preoccupation with dieting, body-dissatisfaction, and just overkill of the human body? When will the craziness stop just long enough to take a step back, breathe, and find acceptance and compassion for who you are as you are being enough, being worthy-- because we all are.

And our kids need us to model and reinforce these strong capabilities and common-sense practicalities.  When I see a book titled: My Beautiful Mommy I think this is a joke, right? But I find that it's written by a plastic surgeon, and really set on promoting this "upkeep" ideal while cunningly proclaiming under a guise of "help".  Are we so far gone into our self-absorbed psyches that we are so easily swayed and coerced into finding this worthy of publication to begin with? Apparently so, as the book is being sold and bought, joke or not-- some are taking the bait and seem to be biting hard, though not into much that will keep one nutritionally and mentally stable.

Our daughter has to not only find safety, stability and assurance within her home environment, but the world outside as well.  And this rant of a thread I've lowered myself to in this post just proves what an apparently obnoxious mother on a mission I am (imperfections and all- silicon free and able to eat minus fear thankfully) to keep my daughter moving towards a healthy, happy and internally sustained recovery and passionately what that means to me.

Ladies and Gentlemen, can this insanity please begin to find it's way back in the hole from where it came?  Like a fire out of control, can we begin to find some means of putting this insatiable flame to some simmering rational end? Will these studies and polls just continue to bloom, boggle and frustrate so many of us, while invoking the opposite within others to think less of themselves, and to possibly court a potential ED, especially for those who are either biologically, physiologically and/or genetically predisposed and vulnerable?

To continued Health, Strength & Insight for us all.

Kar Men Shreshth Kamandalu Chakra Trishoodlharta

Jagkarta Jagkarta Jag Palankarta

    Om hara hara Mahaadevaa

APF/Getty Images  Bertrand Guay

There is quite a bit of debate heating up lately, even over at ATDT parents are sharing their thoughts on this topic, regarding recent legistlation created by France lawmaker Valerie Boyer that France is passing towards imposing strict fines, even imprisonment against the proliferation and promotion of "pro-ana/mia" within websites, media images, the fashion industry and beyond that continue to hightlight clearly unhealthy anorexic/ED'd-looking, emaciated ultra-thin bodies-- "legislating body weight" some are finger-waging. 

The reviews and feedback are certainly mixed, some downright misinformed- stiil -and so sorely one-sided which to me only illuminates just how complex these issues are; and more importantly  how much more of this conversation and dialogue needs to keep happening and developing.

I haven't delved into a full exploration of my opinions on this yet, but I do think while we can't police every site, ban every image, twisted ideal there certainly is something that we are all responding and reacting to when we see someone who looks so severely malnourished, skeletal and unwell. 

As a mother of a daughter who suffers from Anorexia Nerovsa I do have an immediate heartwrenching reaction to this issue, and do believe there is not just a "personal" responsiblity but public and social conscience we all need to be connected to and address at some basic level without turning a blind-eye and pretending none of this has any impact on society whatsoever-- clearly it does.

Some incredible individuals and parent advocates have been hard at work the past two days in Washington working with legislators on Capital Hill for the annual Eating Disorders Coalition Lobby Day to push forth further measures and legislation in the continuation to further progress within treatment, research, prevention and education of eating disorders. 

This is vital and necessary work.  I for one am so very grateful, since I was not able to attend, for all of these individuals who have committed themselves towards improving the lives of those affected by this devastating illness and the families that are doing so much of this work solo, without much support, treatment resources, and clinicians adequately trained to best help their loves ones. 

Thank you EDC and its sponsors, Ms Laura Collins-- you are the best!

Oh yeah! May 9th (or from what others have been stating but I haven't found listed: April 25th) heading to the 'Windy City'- Chicago to check out this city's native film-maker,  Darryl Roberts documentary that has gotten plenty of accolades; and additional kudos from those who attended last week's IAEDP conference.

It's interesting that within the past year two male film-makers  (perhaps more-- feel free to share if you know) the other is Glenn Gers and his film: Disfigured  (which a Cali friend of mine got to see during the film festival and loved)  have dared to dig deeper into our culture's preoccupations within this topic-- I say it's bloody fantastic and about time!

Join the caravan if you are able.

ciao-

Facing the bluntness of reality is the highest form of

sanity and enlightened vision... Devotion proceeds

through various stages of unmasking until we reach

the point of seeing the world directly and simply

without imposing our fabrications... There may

be a sense of being lost or exposed, a sense of vulnerability.

That is simply a sign that ego is losing its grip

on its territory; it is not a threat.

-Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche