I've picked more berries in the last two weeks than I have in my entire life previously.  Picked some fresh blackberries at Daniel & Mandy's about a week ago, and just ate them right off the bush.  Then, Eli & I went to The Fruit & Berry Patch in Halls a few nights ago and picked some blackberries and peaches and took them home.  Then a couple of nights later, Erin, Eli, & I went back out to the Patch and picked blueberries, grapes, blackberries, and apples.  And we bought a thing of honey made in Nebraska that is probably the most delicious honey I've ever tasted.  Then we went home and I took the blackberries and blueberries and made a homemade cobbler all by myself.  Never did this before.  It was really really good....and VERY sweet....went just a little overboard on the sugar.  Although I did take the cobbler to work the next day and it disappeared quickly. 

Work is hectic.  One guy in my department was let go about 4 weeks ago, and another girl resigned and went off to greener pastures.  So I'm taking on some full time web accounts again, on top of trying to do the things I've been doing the last several months....technical training and development, product development, various projects, etc.  Stressful.

I LOVE the show So You Think You Can Dance.  Love it.  I've watched previous seasons as well, although I've never committed to watching it every single week like I do with Lost, The Office, or Prison Break.  But the dancing is so incredible.  This isn't celebrities "trying" to dance.  It's 18-28 year olds who are actual dancers trying to make it and get their big break.  I love it.  The choreography each week is so stinking creative and amazing.  And I don't think I can dance.  I know I can.

Erin has recently gotten pretty good at throwing Frisbee.  I'm not sure how or why, because every time she'd tried in the past, it went pretty poorly and she'd get frustrated and quit.  But something clicked.  And although there's still room for improvement, we've actually gotten out and thrown several times over the last few weeks.  Awesome.

Because of season passes that were given to us as a gift, we've been able to go to Dollywood & Splash Country 4 times each so far this year.  Yee Haw!

This time next year, we'll be getting Eli ready for Kindergarten.  Buying a backpack, shopping for school clothes, getting pencils and paper, finding a cool lunchbox.  How is this possible?  5 years ago this little person did not exist.  Now he talks back, climbs on the counter to secretly find snacks, dances all around the living room breakdance style, wears his water mask/goggles in bed while watching cartoons, prefers to get dressed all by himself, picks bugs up off the ground, sings on tune, loves to eat mushrooms, has a sort-of preschool girlfriend who is so clingy to him that he says "why does she be my friend ALL the time??", and laughs just as wonderfully as ever.

Since this blog is more than just politics and also about our lives I wanted to share something that's been on my heart since the day after the wedding.   While there's a lot of good memories that came out of that day there's something that has seared itself into my brain and I honestly don't know if I'll ever be able to shake it.  In fact, this morning I was out for my morning walk and the thought came rushing back in from some dark corner and had me crying along South Street.

The night before the wedding we were having the rehearsal.  Part of the ceremony was going to be my boys giving me to Amy and Julie giving Amy to me.  The boys were to walk with me down the aisle and stand next to me as the "honorary best men."  It was something that I adamantly wanted to have in the wedding and the pastor who presided over the festivities had absolutely no problem with it.

Well, rehearsal didn't quite go as I hoped it would.  Dale and Eli walked in with me but about halfway down the aisle Eli started to get upset and try to pull away because he wanted to sit next to Grandma and Papa Jim and play his Leapster.  I pulled him along to the altar and pretty much held him there next to me until we ran through the portion of the ceremony where he was to say "we do" when the Pastor asked who was giving their daddy to Miss Amy.  Honestly, Eli didn't really get the words out as much as turned and made his way quickly to the second pew where the Leapster and Go Diego Go Animal Rescuer was waiting for him.  No matter how many times I tried to take it from him to get him to participate, it was screaming and fighting and "no Daddy!"

After the first run-through, all of us involved talked and decided it would probably not be best to have Eli come up front because we didn't know how he would act or if he would start to throw a fit in the middle of the service because he wanted to go sit down and play his Leapster.  As much as it really broke my heart to do it, I had to agree.  We had expected Eli to possibly act up a little bit when he was standing there but his crying when he was walking down the aisle and the degree of his fighting to go sit down was just too much to handle.

So we pulled Dale aside and I asked him if instead of "we do" he could say "my brother Eli and I do."  Dale practiced it a few times and said he could do it.  So we lined up to practice again and I asked Eli if he was going to come with us and he said "no" and kept playing his Leapster.  He didn't look up from it once during the next run through of the wedding.   Dale had a big smile and said his line and walked over to sit with Grandma and Papa Jim just like he and Eli were to do in the first place.

Well, the wedding itself came and went off without a hitch.  Eli was put in the first pew (well, second...but the first one where people were sitting) with Papa Jim and made no attempt to be involved with anything outside of his Leapster.  I was watching from the back of the sanctuary when my mom was put next to him and Eli barely acknowledged that Grandma had just shown up.

The ceremony went off without a hitch and Dale was such a good boy.  He said his line loud and clear for everyone to hear.  I looked back at Eli and he was intently involved in his Leapster.

The rest of the afternoon, Eli seemed to be avoiding me.  He didn't walk over to me or hug me or anything that was normal for him.  The times I was around him I had to basically tackle him to keep him from walking off.  I chalked it up to all the people around and Eli being overstimulated in an unfamiliar place.  He certainly wasn't shy about the M&Ms and cake so it didn't seem like he was upset.

The next day we were having a reception/family reunion for Amy's family at her folks' house.  When we arrived Eli immediately went into what we called the "toy room" and stayed in there.  He would come out for a minute or two at a time for food or something to drink but after that it was back into the toy room.  In the midst of the celebration of our marriage the day before and all the congratulatory things I had an really uneasy feeling about Eli.

I tried a few times to get him to come and be a part of the other things that were going on.  I tried to get him to play with the kids and he always said "no" and went back into the toy room with his Leapster or to play with whatever toy attracted his attention.

After a few hours, I had a thought pop into my head that just cut me to the bone.  I don't know why I thought this but it bothered me enough that I went in from the festivities in the backyard and into the toy room.  Eli was laying on an ottoman playing that Leapster.  I knelt down next to him and laid my head so I was looking right into his eyes.

"Eli," I said.  "Are you mad at daddy?"

"Yes," Eli said without any hesitation but not looking up from his game.

"Eli," I asked, "are you mad that Daddy didn't have you stand up there with Dale at the wedding?"

Eli stopped playing his game and looked me right in the face.

"Yes."

He then went back to his game.

It was all I could do to say I was sorry and I hugged him.  He said "let go, Daddy" and went back to playing his game.  I walked outside and put on the bravest face I could so that no one would ask me what was wrong.  I really didn't want to talk about it because I honestly felt like I would break down.  I felt like the worst father in the world at that moment.

Even after almost two months it still hurts just as bad as that moment when he looked at me and said "yes."  Logically, I keep saying that Eli didn't complain when we didn't have him in the second run-through, he never made a move to come up during the ceremony and he never once gave any indication that he wanted to be a part of the wedding itself.  If he had, I would have done whatever it took to get him as a part of the ceremony.   He just seemed to fight harder the more we tried to get him included in everything that was happening.

I don't know if I will ever get over it.  Does it make me a bad father because of the decision that was made?  I'm sure some folks reading this will post who have zero knowledge about dealing with special needs children will rush into say that I am.   It's not like I didn't want him included and didn't try to do things to get him involved.  What I would have done for some spark of interest on Eli's part that said he wanted to be up there with his brother.  This wasn't a simple decision of just saying one kid was up there and another kid wasn't a part of it.  This wasn't a easy thing for me to say "ok, we'll have Eli sit with Grandma and Papa Jim during the ceremony instead of forcing him to stand up here."

You do so much to include your special needs children in the things that your family does together.  You make sacrifices and you make changes to your plans to accomodate their needs.  Sometimes you have to leave events or not go to places you would like to take them because of the child's needs.   Sometimes you have to make decisions to leave them out of something because it's not fair to the other children to keep them from something because their brother doesn't want to do it or appears to not want to do it.

Sometimes those decisions can haunt you.

On September 13th, the fourth annual Walk Now For Autism event will be held at Jordan Valley Park.   Our family will again be participating in the event and our team this year is A Team With A Moose.  (This name comes from Eli's favorite episode of the cartoon Invader Zim.)

So what I'm going to offer is a chance for Ozarks businesses and politicians to get in front of hundreds of readers a day in return for donations to the Walk Now For Autism.  Every dollar of the ads you will see on this site (if any) will go to Walk Now For Autism to help them find a cure for autism and to help families like mine who face the challenge of autism every day.

(If you would like to just make a donation, click our team logo and it will take you to a page where you can donate.)

I'm going to offer small ads in the right hand bar of the blog.  In addition, you'll have the option to donate for a bigger package that would have your ads placed within stories like the team logo you see in this blog entry.

To get a small, square ad on Life Of Jason along with a link to your website if you wish:

1 month : $100 donation
3 months: $250 donation
6 months: $500 donation

If you would like to have the Ads In Stories option, just double the cost for the time period you wish to be shown on LOJ.  You'll get a guarantee of two per week minimum.

If you have a problem with me doing this, save your hate mail.  I'm doing this for my son and children & adults like him and I'm not seeing dime one of anything that would be raised from this.

I reserve the right to refuse any ad that may be submitted. Also, the section with the ads will have a notation that these were in kind for donations to Walk Now For Autism and that they do not constitute an endorsement of any kind on my part.

Political candidates are welcome as well as private businesses.

Nobody make take me up on it and that's fine.  I just wanted to do all I could to help raise funds for the walk and that included making this offer here.

"Arabian Justice"
Eli the Accountant is back with the story of three tourists looking for a good time in Saudi Arabia.

This is surely one of the loveliest stories in the Old Testament. The "lamp of God" — the seven-branched menorah which was lit at dusk to burn until dawn (Exodus 27.20-21) — "had not yet gone out" and Samuel is "lying down in the temple of the LORD, where the ark of God was" (1 Samuel 3.3). In an adjoining room, Eli, the priest, "whose eyes were becoming so weak that he could barely see" is "lying down in his usual place" (1 Samuel 3.2). The scene that is being set is deliberately one of darkness, sleep, and a blindness to God that is made specific in the opening words of the chapter: "In those days the word of the LORD was rare; there were not many visions" (1 Samuel 3.1). But against that there is mention of the still-burning lamp and the ark of the covenant — both powerful symbols of the presence of the Lord.

Then, in the silence, the Lord speaks, calling Samuel by name. Three times Samuel gets up and goes to Eli, thinking it is the priest who has called him. But then Eli realises that Samuel is hearing the voice of God so he tells him to return to his bed and instructs him as to how he should answer when the Lord calls him again. This time it would seem that Samuel saw the Lord as well as heard him because we are told that "the LORD came and stood there". If so, it might explain why Samuel omits the word "Lord" when he responds with the lovely little sentence that Eli has taught him: "Speak, for your servant is listening". Maybe he thinks that the supernatural being by his bed must be an angel, not the Lord himself.

Whether that was the case or not, the Lord soon makes clear to Samuel who he is; and Samuel's ability to see him and hear him marks him out from that time onward as one of Israel's great prophets and men of God. "The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of his words fall to the ground. And all Israel from Dan to Beersheba recognized that Samuel was attested as a prophet of the LORD. The LORD continued to appear at Shiloh, and there he revealed himself to Samuel through his word" (1 Samuel 3.19-21).

I ask myself, how many times have I failed to recognise whose voice it is when the Lord has spoken to me? How do I respond when I do recognise that he is speaking? How obedient am I in passing on what I hear? How wonderful it would be if my hearing was so good, my obedience so swift, my commitment so full that the Lord would let none of my words "fall to the ground"!

Hushed was the evening hymn,
the temple courts were dark;
the lamp was burning dim
before the sacred ark,
when suddenly a voice divine
rang through the silence of the shrine.

O give me Samuel's mind,
a sweet, unmurmuring faith,
obedient and resigned
to You in life and death,
that I may read with childlike eyes
truths that are hidden from the wise.

Thanks to Natalie Swallow for the great job on the story.  Thanks to Michelle Sherwood for helping me get a copy of the story.

For more information on autism, please visit Autism Speaks.

With respect to teaching, in my process of adjusting to the teaching environment here in Thailand, I made a rather substantial decision last week - to cancel class.  It was a substantial decision as I never cancel class even though the practice is common here in Thailand and 'make-up' class scheduling is the norm.  I was asked two weeks ago if I would cancel my class last week by the department secretary, to which I scoffed, "Why would I cancel class?"  She simply explained that since it was a Thai holiday (Thursday and Friday) that it was not unusual for instructors to cancel class and give their students a long weekend.  There are a whole bunch of Thai holidays that are recognized throughout the year, so I didn't think much of it and still insisted not to cancel class.  At my Thursday class two weeks ago, I informed them of this decision and the students appeared to take the news in stride, as if that was just fine with them.  In the days after making this decision, however, I had heard from many different sources, from Thai faculty and students to my wife that suggested that I really should have canceled class as it is an important Thai holiday - to what my wife described as being like a "Thai Thanksgiving" holiday.  All of this feedback finally knocked some sense into me and I cancelled class (informed the department secretary and e-mailed all students) first thing on Monday morning.  Instead of scheduling a make-up class and struggling through whatever that might have entailed, I simply decided to skip the chapter that we were to cover in the class that day and not include that material on the final exam.  All in all, I really should have known better and had my intuition been stronger, I should have pursued more information about the Thai holiday upfront from the department secretary and been more aware of possible cultural insensitivities.  Needless to say, I did not get any complaints from students over canceling class.

With all of the extra time on my hand with no class last week, I decided to stay an additional few days in Phitsanulok (my wife's hometown) and pursue some advice that Dr. John Ketterer (Executive Director of the International Endowment Foundation, International House, International Programs) mentioned to me before my trip to Thailand.  That advice, namely was that I should "think outside the box" and "look for creative relationships" for student scholarships and funding through sources like Rotary clubs.  During the past week, consequently, I linked up with a couple of the Rotary clubs in Phitsanulok.  I first attended a Rotary meeting on Monday night that had about 40 people present.  While I had to leave early before I could talk to the entire group as my son getting a bit testy (18 months old and past his bedtime), I did get to speak with several individuals in-depth about the projects that their Rotary club has recently been involved in (e.g., donations of computers to several schools serving disadvantaged children) and did promise to come back to another meeting (without my son) before I leave back home to the US.  I also had the chance to speak with a group of 4 teenagers that had an interest in being AFS exchange students(all currently in high school).  In addition to this, the barber that I have cut my hair every few weeks in Phitsanulok is also a Rotary member of a club that meets on Tuesday nights.  He doesn't speak any English, so I had my wife stay and bridge the language barrier between us.  It turns out that he spends a great deal of his spare time helping disadvantaged children.  In fact, this coming Wednesday he invited my wife to come with him (which I believe she will) as he cuts hair for free for a group of over 100 disadvantaged Thai children.  I think that will be a good experience for her and my only regret is that I won't be able to get involved as well.

One thing that I have not spoken much about is the research I have done while over here in Thailand.  That has primarily been because the first few months have been more about building the literature reviews and refining the research models before I did any data collection.  I also could not collect any data without having first established any connections to collect data from.  So with everything else going on, I am finally making some noteworthy progress on the research front.  In particular, I have been able to link back up with one of my former colleagues from Milwaukee who is Thai and is teaching in Thailand not far from ABAC and we have two papers that are almost ready to be submitted for conferences.  For each of these papers we have done interviews and collected data from his Thai students and the Thai companies that they work for.  That research is related to logistics and supply chain management.  In other research, Dr. Sonny Francia and I have a book chapter underway that is comparing and examining US and Thai information security requirements.  For this research, one of my current students at ABAC has connections with some financial intuitions that I have leveraged and we are now starting to analyze some of the results of this data.  Busy times indeed that will only get busier as deadlines for each of these submissions occur before I return back to the US.

On one additional note, my wife's cousin (he is 24 and his Thai nickname is "Bolly") and his parents had expressed interest in him studying in the US, in particular, taking English classes first and then pursing a MBA.  After a short sales pitch, accompanied by the video available on JSU's English Language Institute's website and an invitation for "Bolly" to stay with us in our guest room, I was able to convince them that JSU was the place for him.  In fact, we are rushing through all of the details as I write this post to see if he can travel back with us to the US and start classes next month.  Wish us luck as I have no experience with the paperwork and processes involved with this.

Here's me as an m&m:

I think it's absolutely bril.

We're leaving in a little over 24 hours.  Well, technically, we'll be at the airport before then, but we won't take off until 5:30 or so.  It'll be interesting, as always.  Dragging 4 girls ages 1-14 through a busy airport will no doubt be my favourite part of the trip :P.

My family's been bloody mad for the past few days, trying to make sure we've packed everything.  I think my mum took my toothbrush this morning to pack it, which means I'll either have to a) dig through my bag to find it or b) pretend like I don't know the meaning of the word "halitosis."  I think I pick b.

Oh, and the dog...my parents let my sisters keep this mutt we found on the side of the road.  His name is Paddington...like the bear or the station.  Whichever you like.  Anyway, they feed him ice lollies and run about the house and he's a lot of trouble, though he is fun to have around.  They can't bear to part with him for 2 whole weeks, at least that's what Evie says.  She says Paddy will just, and I quote, "pine away."  Too bad to them, though.  Sydney's going to take care of him while we're gone.  I'm sure Paddy will be just fine...

Anyway, I'll be posting from London, but probably won't get around to it for a day or 2.  I may post tomorrow, but I might not.  Depends on what I have to do.

Cheers!

I went to a few weeks on summer intensives at my home ballet studio, which was kind of fun.  I really wanted to go away, possibly to Joffrey or...the Royal Ballet School has summer school, which starts in exactly 5 days...Eli's mom even said I could travel with them if I got in.  They're leaving for London on Friday for a wedding or something.

*~*WARNING: Parent Rant Ahead*~*

I actually went ahead and applied for the Royal Ballet School program.  I figured, if I got in, my mom would definitely let me go.  I could stay wherever Eli's family was staying, which meant free room and board, so I'd only have to pay for the tuition.  And, I mean, the chances of me getting in were so slim...I doubted if it would really happen.

Guess what?  I got in.

Which was when it all came tumbling down...my mom said a big, fat "no" to my going away for "half the summer."  I don't remember summer only being four weeks long, but whatever.  She said maybe next year.  The problem with that idea is that I don't know if I'll get in next year.  And, anyway, by next year, I want to be in London auditioning for the Royal Ballet Company, not attending a summer intensive.

Anyway...

*~*END Parent Rant*~*

So, Eli is still leaving in three two days.  And, I'm definitely not, which means the next two weeks will take place in Boredom Central.  I'll probably just go up to the studio for extra lessons or something, and maybe pick up a few books from the library.  I've been wanting to read The Hunchback of Notre Dame.  Maybe I'll get a chance to.

Its called the PURPOSE of life. They have. Do you? (when i say do you, means me too) So if we want to spend our time wisely, we will need to audit where our time has gone to... I guess many hours are wasted.

Actually, once your purpose is determined through knowing yourself (Peter Drucker said, Know Thyself) then we can know what we want to spend the rest of our lives doing our Embeded Lifelong Interests (ELI) things... that will make a difference to many people's lives (hopefully) and then leaving you and me a legacy!

Easy said than done. I think we must have a way of thinking where we want to go otherwise any road will lead you to ROAM and not ROME.

Sometimes, we seriously want to do the lifelong interests but fate cuts it short. Why? Randy Pausch also discovered that his journey is going to be cut short because he is suffering from pancreatic cancer.  (http://www.randypausch.com) and althought people are sad about leaving the world, Randy took it in his stride and delivered his last lecture... what a moving time when he thank his wife for all the support she had given him. Of course, now he will spend quality time with his family and doing projects that matters to his legacy as he fights for funding from the congress to research into this form of cancer.

Life is short and so we need to ask ourselves the following questions...

1. Why do we run out of time?

We will look at some of the key problems esp. those who makes this a habit.

Why do we run out of time?

This could be due to the following reasons which are:

1.     Culture: - It’s either a symptom of the people whereby they have plenty of time. In Bangkok, it’s common to be late for meeting. Some people here also have the habit to do that to familiar people whereby they do not accord the importance to that meeting so arriving late is okay. However, when you are late, as my friend, Joshua said, you are not showing respect to the person. Additionally, everyone’s schedule has to be pushed back. Think of one event in Singapore that we are perpetually late. Yes… you are right. Chinese wedding dinner. Invitation card states 7.00 pm sharp and people starts streaking in at 8.00pm. Normally, the dinner begins around 8.30pm

2.     Poor Planning: If you do not have a habit to plan out your day what you are going to do, then time will just escape you. In Singapore, with the rising ERP prices, one other thing is the discipline to plan your journey; otherwise you will end up paying more. For example, if you are planning for a holiday, if you are on free and easy, you could do well to plan every thing in advance rather than arriving at the destination and not knowing who to call and what to do.

3.     Some of us are optimistic people and over commit our schedule. And sometimes, we end up having to work doubly hard into the night to complete the task. This is especially true in project works that involves many parties

4.     Serving too many portfolios. Besides over ambitious, we may at times hold many portfolios. I’ve heard from friends that some companies freeze the head count and jobs that used to be done by two is done by one and if no hiring will mean more work load. So, this can create a bit of problem in stress related illness unless we can find ways to automate routine work

5.     Environmental/Regulatory issue: In situations where there are changes to the route or passport issues could cause our plans to be scuttled

6.     Emergencies like jams, forgetfulness we should have planned for more hours or provide checklist

2. What is the definition of Time Management?

Yes. There are many great quotes on time management providing us with the insights of each area and how successful people see it.

Thus, it’s important to look at this commodity that we take for granted. My accounting teacher told the class, two things in life is limited, Time and Money. But Time can be made to earn money, like what are your charges per hour the ability to earn per day? So let’s look at the VALUE of TIME… time is money as they say. The ROI

·        Take time to work, it is the price of success

·        Take time to think, it is the source of power

·        Take time to play, it is the source of youth

·        Take time to read, it is the source of wisdom

·        Take time to love, it is the privilege of Gods

·        Take time to serve, it is the purpose of life

·        Take time to laugh, it is the music of soul

How important is the time for each of these people? To some, they have time to kill, to some people in their occupation, every sec counts and especially so in a competitive environment.

·        Tell it to a farmer planting crops

·        Tell it to NBA final match when they have only 20 secs to go

·        Tell it to an Olympic runner in a photo finish

·        Tell it to Lewis Hamilton on winning a grand prix by 5 secs

·        Tell it to the one who just avoided a major accident by just a second.

I think the one that is important is the accident that one has avoided by being there a second early

So, now let’s check whether we have all Time Management 101.

How many of you know or have these (a show of hands)

·        Do you know we have 86,400 secs a day? 

·        Do you plan by marking “A’s” to “D’s”?

·        Do we wait for things to happen and not Conquering Procrastination?

·        Do we have a Time Management system?

• Do we have an Electronic or desk Planner?

What are your expectations in a day and in life in work, life, friends and family?

Oh yes, going back in times, even Solomon the wisest person on earth, looks at life and time and this is what he has to say…

 1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance

 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace

So much for the frivolity of time!

Now by looking at what professionals think of time? We can see from their quotes what’s they can share in Managing Time.

What attributes must we have in order that we can also have the same success!

·        Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.   --Theophrastus

·        The time is always right to do what is right. Martin Luther King, Jr.

 ·        Time Management is in fact the measurement of effectiveness of time used. Drucker

·        Two resources in life are limited, one is Money and the other is Time.

 ·        Control your life by controlling your time. By Hyrum Smith

 ·        The secret of a person’s success is discovered in his daily agenda Dr. John C Maxwell

It started early in my relationship with Schatzi. I remember one night the Coco Puff was first described to me as a pastry filled with chocolate custard and topped with a buttery icing, that I couldn't remember the name of at the time, called Chantilly. By her description I thought that these would be amazing, but I had no idea what I was in store for.

Coco Puffs are a pastry made by the Liliha Bakery in Honolulu. They consist of a cream puff made with choux dough (the same stuff they use for éclairs if you are not familiar). These cream puffs are filled with a rich, ethereal chocolate pudding and topped with a generous smear of Chantilly frosting, which is a granular frosting made from sugar, butter, and vanilla. This stuff is out of sight. OUT OF SIGHT!

The first time I got to sample the Coco Puff, I was over at Schatzi's sister's house. We had gone over there specifically to pick up a box of these pastries, brought directly from Liliha Bakery by plane, to deliver them to one of her other sisters after taking a few for ourselves. Schatzi opened up the box and lifted one out. She took a bite, revealing the pudding inside. I took a bite and was stunned. The combination of textures, from the cream puff, the silky pudding, and slightly granular, buttery Chantilly frosting, was almost too much for my brain to handle. Immediately I began thinking of how I could duplicate the Coco Puff.

It took a few days of pondering before I finally revealed my intentions to Schatzi. My fears of this endeavor were as follows: epic failure in the eyes of my newfound family, epic failure to myself, and being called a haole (if you don't know, you probably are one). I asked Schatzi not to tell anyone else to reduce pressure upon myself. Two weeks later I gave it a shot.

First off was the choux dough; typically a difficult feat in and of itself. I looked up a recipe for that on the Internet. Next was the chocolate pudding. I went through several until finally deciding on one that I liked. Note that I had no frame of reference to match the flavor and consistency of Liliha Bakery's since I had never before made a chocolate pudding from scratch. Last, I tackled the Chantilly frosting. There are a few types of this frosting that I found online, but one that seemed right. It was actually found on a page written by someone who had also tried to recreate the Coco Puff themselves, and it was her that I made my biggest mistake of my first attempt: while reading the recipe, I looked at their pudding, which was made from chocolate Jell-O pudding mix and Dream Whip in equal amounts. I figured that maybe scaling down to a pre-mixed formula would be more correct since this person seemed to think that it was close to Liliha's. Wrong. For my other big mistake, I misread the measurements of sugar for the Chantilly; 11/2 looks like eleven halves when typed out, which was a STUPID mistake considering I read recipes everyday for a living and know general ratios of ingredients to obtain the correct result. But hey, I can blame some of my mistakes on being completely stressed out over proving myself to Schatzi and her sisters.

The choux dough was actually very easy to make, although definitely not a task for the novice baker. After making the dough I out it into pastry bags with a medium sized star tip. Having never made cream puffs before and not knowing how much they would expand from cooking, I actually ended up making them a third as small as the originals. While the cream puffs baked in the oven, I made the chocolate pudding. Nothing special about that since it was completely instant—shame on me. I also made a vanilla pudding version for one of Schatzi's sisters who is allergic to caffeine. After the cream puffs came out, looking absolutely divine but tiny compared to Liliha's, I made the Chantilly Frosting. After combining all ingredients and awaiting the final product, I noticed a difference right away in texture compared to Liliha's. I didn't realize until later that I had misread the recipe. I filled the pastries and topped with the frosting, took my last photo document, ad impatiently ate one. It was delicious, but not even close. Schatzi later agreed that they were not in much resemblance to Liliha's, but that I was well my way. One day, I'm sure after a few more attempts, I should be able to make something I can be proud to call a Coco Puff.

David Ogilvy, founder of the advertising firm Ogilvy & Mather, regularly sent Russian nesting dolls to new members of his leadership team. The nesting dolls (pictured above) were hollow, and smaller dolls fit inside the larger ones.

Ogilvy taped the following message to the smallest doll:

"If each of us hires people who are smaller than we are, we shall become a company of dwarfs. But if each of us hires people who are bigger than we are, Ogilvy & Mather will become a company of giants."

Excusing Ogilvy’s lack of political-correctness (he was running his business in the 50’s and 60’s), he had some prophetic ability. Today, Ogilvy & Mather is one of the largest and most respected advertising agencies in the world. Whether or not they are a “company of giants,” they are a giant company with giant clients like Dove, Mattel, IBM, Motorola, Cisco, Nestle, American Express and Coca-Cola.

In Christian ministry, we would call this concept good stewardship. You can’t be a good steward if your ego won’t allow you to hire someone more talented or more promising than you are. You have to think about what’s best for the ministry. How would Israel have fared if Eli had refused to take Samuel under his wing? Or what would have become of the Church if Barnabas had refused to lend Saul his credibility? These men have faded into relative obscurity when compared to their protégés, but that doesn’t make their contribution insignificant. They provided formative mentoring and/or resources that enabled their protégés to surpass them in impact and notoriety.

It’s not easy being surpassed (just ask King Saul how he felt about David, the shepherd boy). The humility required in this process is enough to make Eli and Barnabas giants in my book. (Yes, I know Eli was a mess, but he at least knew enough not to get in the way of what God was doing. Give him his props.) I suspect that God has a way of accounting for these men’s role in all the good ministry that was eventually done/is being done by Samuel and Saul-Paul.

We’re here to build a Kingdom, but it’s not our own personal one. Seek out those whom God has chosen for larger roles in the Kingdom and give them all the help you can to prepare them for the path He’s set before them. If they pass you on the path, know that your sacrifice is true servant leadership and that you are helping to build a Kingdom of giants for Christ.

(Info Source - Denis Waitley. Priorities (1/22/99) - reprinted in Reader’s Digest - 8/99)

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i'm out.

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