E. took this picture back in March. There must be a fountain inside the gargoyle's head.

I asked some random person on XBox Live to get me a Parrybo and an Elephanilla! They said they would send it to me today or tomorrow. Can you believe it?!

I'm sure you don't care. But I sure do.

To say I am in an awkward point in my life is a gross understatement. Funny how amused we are by familiar stereotypes like "the awkward teenage years." It's almost a relief to look back at that time and marvel at how lanky we were, or clumsy or somehow disproportionate in an acceptable still-growing kind of way. I've passed those years and the awkwardness of my life has made those close to me very uneasy. In a stink bomb kind of way.

About a month ago I watched a documentary on PBS about young African women who have developed fistulas after a difficult birth. I would never attempt to draw parallels between their destitute lives and my American modern-convenience-filled life. But their words, translated to English for me, struck a nerve. Or more like a lot of ragged charged nerves. I was frozen on the couch at 2:00 a.m. realizing that it really could be worse, that I could be leaking excrement involuntarily and outcast from my community as a result. But I'm not sure I was that fair. I might have been visualizing my effigy, wallowing in my isolation.

My life's formula over the past year has been one step forward two steps back, or better yet an algorithm that could explain the "Little Engine that Could." Not a straight 1 + 1, but something that allows for strange jaunts and undeniable deductions, but still ends up in the general vicinity of forward.

And somewhere along the way I became a superhero.

I Am Going to Auction off...

1 Retired Whacky Zingoz 600 Trophy!

1 Elephant Fountain

And

1 Zingo Fest Plushie!

The First peoples bids that i think are Good Will Win The item that they bid on! ( Virtual item bidding only, No Money or anything Sent Via Email or USPS) Accepts Webkinz codes, and Virtual items!

Let the Bidding Begin!

An elephant came by yesterday. the religious type flanked with religious sadhus.

When was the last time you took a moment?

- Daisy

The beer had a brown amberish color and there wasnt very much head. The taste was a little sweet and a bit bitter. It was a bit thicker and heavier than I anticipated. You could definitaly taste and feel the 7.2% alcohol. All in all I'd say that it wasn't a bad beer however there's nothing really exciting about it. I do appreaciate beers that are able to pull of a high alchohal percentage well, Duvel for example, but Elephant doesn't quite make it into this category.

Final Verdict

Taste: 6/10

Alcohol .72/10

Hello,

Jon and I have been trying to have 'Sewing Sundays' where we sew a complete project. Last week we made these cute little toys. I made the elephant from the book 'Last Minute Patchwork and Quilted Gifts' by Joelle Hoverson. (Note to those who want to make it - the instructions are written a bit poorly and in some cases wrong. I finally just looked at all the pieces from the template and was able to figure out how to put them together. I read some online reviews and other people had the same problem and contacted the author to get better instructions.) Jon made these great fabric blocks with rattles inside - he took an empty film canister, put some dried beans in it, placed it inside the block and stuffed the rest with batting.

Fun times!

Rachel

...and sweat is causing me to smudge my sketches, sooooo... once again I am reposting an earlier drawing. This one reminds me that I need to break down and carry an umbrella with me when I walk at lunch, to protect me from the relentless sun. Of course, I should probably invest in one a tad larger.

Try to keep cool everyone!

Forget webcomics, man. I should submit this juice to the New Yorker.

I live in an apartment and really didn't want to paint the walls. The association is horrible and we don't plan on staying there for long after the baby arrives. Do you think I could get away with just hanging artwork and photos? I like this idea because when she gets older, I don't have to repaint, I can simply take these down! This particular one is a handpainted canvas which means that there is no glass - something I really prefer in the nursery. What do you think?

Clark & Lee Design Personalized Handpainted Pink Elephant Art Canvas at Bellacroft

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "professional".

Scroll down for each answer. The questions are not that difficult.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: 
Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.

This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Wrong Answer: 
Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.

Correct Answer: 
Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.

This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?  

 Correct Answer: The Elephant. 
The Elephant is in the refrigerator.

This tests your memory.

OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? 

Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.

This tests whether you learn from your mistakes.

According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many pre-schoolers got several correct answers.

Andersen Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.

Let's not beat around the bush. I wish I wasn't here, I want to go back, but it can't happen. It wasn't just the place, in fact it was mostly the people in my tour group that I wish I could go on tour with again. Too bad it just won't happen.

There is not a single thing I would've changed about the holiday. It was exactly what I was looking for, and hanging out with my mates again last night was an absolute pain in the ass because just when I started suspecting that maybe I'm beginning to out-grow them in some way (these are friends I've known my whole life) they go ahead and prove it with three drunken arrests in two completely separate incidents. They didn't even realise they spent the night in cells next door to each other until this morning. When they hell are they going reach the point where they realise that maybe it's time to grow up a bit? It makes me feel like too much of a parent and I fucking hate it. The worst part was that they were bragging about it in the morning.

Stop going on a tangent TDW...

The first time you sit on one of these big boys you're convinced it's going to take off and end your life, because it has the ability to. But you get over it pretty quick. He (I'm guessing) wouldn't stop requesting bananas. I mean, would not stop. They breathe heavily too, and my arms got coated in Elephant snot.

I trekked through that jungle and hung out with the tribes for three days (no power, plumbing or mattresses) and I tell you what, I've never sweat so much in my entire life. It was pouring from my skin like squeezing a wet sponge. It felt like any minute I was going to run dry.

Ahhh still feeling a little lost. I go back to uni tomorrow so hopefully some stability and a way to occupy my mind (apparently its going to be a hell of a tough semester) will get me back in order.

http://thisdevilsworkday.wordpress.com/

Here the last comment of reader “sbisslan” in the Anchorage Daily News on her, for some persons, controversial move to a sanctuary in Tennessee. Lots of comments can be read in here:

http://community.adn.com/?q=adn/node/104642

I was very surprised and elated that I was able to join the group at Elmendorf Hanger 5 to watch Maggie arrive and loaded on the C-17--a plane that is immortalized as Maggies with an elephant emblem beside the door! What large equipment, what careful handling, and what enthusiastic airmen and officers. Lt General Fraser, head of the Alaska Command was almost like a little boy with excitement and Wing Commander Gen Tinsley was delighted the AF could participate in this community endeavor. Perhaps we should rename the blog 'Maggie Settles In at PAWS." In the meantime, the Alaska Zoo has many projects to support, animals to visit and care for, and is a lovely place to walk about and let life's stresses dissipate.

Alaska’s Newspaper

Also a video when she was still in the zoo in Anchorage starting suffering with her health:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PtReJcxOqw

And the site with views and videos how happy she is now:

http://www.friendsofmaggie.net/

This Bastard reporter traveled to Austin, Texas, to get the scoop on the new wind power project to bring much needed electricity to sprawling urban areas.

I met with Patrick Woodson, vice president of E.On Climate & Renewables North America, who had this to say:

“Ya know, folks think ‘bout the Dallas Cowboys and the Texas Longhorns and all the ‘Big Oil’ in these here Southern parts, but, in ‘round 10 ‘er so years, they’ll be stewin’ on the new ‘lectricity this here plan is gonna have for them.  That orta put a bee in their bonnets!”

Not speaking ‘Texan’ myself, I simply tried to follow every other word and piece together a reasonable understanding of what he was saying.

I also wrote down the exact words used in this conversation to let you try as well.

If you are a Texan, it should be especially easy for you.  If you are not, then your guess is as good as mine.

When I asked him what the plan is for this new concept for creating electricity, he gave me this answer:

“Well, ya see young man, we’s gonna take all them Congress folks, Demicrats an Publicans alike, long with all the other big wigs and the no count Presydent hisself, and put ‘em all on top those two hills.

Get the Demicrats and whatnots on one hilltop and the Publicans and their whatnots on the othern.  Then, we gets them to start bickerin’ back an forth at ones nother ’ bout gay marriage or sums such, and they’ll power them big windmills out there.

Ain’t nothin’ more powerful than the wind comin’ out the mouth of the evil bunch from Worshington!  Ain’t no winds blow any harder than what they’s a spewin’!”

When I asked what all this means for the sprawling urban public, he smiled, spit out some of his chewing tobacco, lifted his cowboy hat, scratched his scalp, and turned to look off into the distance for a short while, as he said, “Well….”

After nearly 10 minutes, when he finally turned back to face me, he completed his thought as such:

“I guess it means they’ll be a drawin’ ‘bout somewhere ‘round 18,000 of them there megeewatts.  That’s a gonna light up 4 million ‘er so homes ‘round here, ya know?  I think that’s a good thang, don’t you?  Perty fancy ‘rithmetic, though.  Perty fancy.”

“Shore is,” said Drew Thornley, a policy analyst for the organization, as he sat down next to Mr. Woodson.

“But, ya know what?,” Mr. Thornley continued, “The wind don’t blow an the sun don’t shine all the time!  We’s gonna hafta still make use of natral reserces.  We can’t has perfek weather all the time.  Even in Texas!”

“But we sure got the purtiest bluebonnets ya ever did see,” added Mr. Woodson.

I thanked them both, borrowed a handkerchief from Mr. Woodson to wipe his tobacco spit off my shoe, and made my way to the airport.

All in all, this Bastard reporter is truly amazed that inbred southerners can be creative while mentally incompetent at the same time.

Someone has stolen the Republican's elephant and the Republicans aren't to happy about it. Cafepress.com has been receiving cease and desist letters in the matter of using the Republican logo on their T-shirts. An unadulterated tilted star version of the GOP elephant. Ben Smith reports:

The t-shirts at issue range across a spectrum. Some simply bear the elephant or "GOP" logo, which the committee has also trademarked. Others are pro-Republican: One shows a large elephant trailed by two smaller elephants and the words, "I'm raising my children right."

Others attack the GOP, such as a a portrayal of an elephant leading three sheep and the words, "wake up sheeple!".

The issue puts both sides of the fight in a quandary as the anti-Republican shirts seem to be protected under free speech as a matter of parody, but the pro-Republican serve as a dilution of the Republican brand and misrepresentation.

Leaves the RNC in rough spot, choosing between ignoring a trademark violation or axing pro-Republican merchandise.

Either way the shirts may come to be in short supply soon, so if you'd like one, look here.

For once though I have to say I fall on the Republicans side on this one. Though I normally always move to support free speech, economic opportunism is something else; especially as Cafepress refuses to make slight alterations to the images.

Either way, amusing.

-Marc-

I agree with you on the issue of plot (or perhaps more accurately, lack thereof). I am willing to make a lot of allowances for a book when it includes charming talking animals (who needs a plot when you're caught in whimsy of a poetry spouting elephant or a wallaby with aspirations of being a stand-up comic*), but quite frankly our riverbank friends need to either get a lot more charming fast or something needs to happen.

I would be equally happy with either.

I was just about to pick up The Wind in the Willows tonight, and begin my new acquaintance with Mr. Badger, but then it struck me that tomorrow night I will be in the great state of Wisconsin (in Madison, no less), and where better to be introduced Mr. Badger than in ol' Mad-town, home of perhaps the world's most famous badger, Bucky. So, I will rejoin the world of the riverbank then.

Now a note that has nothing to do with the wind in or out of the willows: I saw Wall-E last weekend, and I've been meaning to highly recommend it (pardon my split infinitive) since I saw it. Even if Wall-E does look disarmingly like Johnny-5 from Short Circuit and, perhaps more famously, from Short Circuit 2, if you can get past that it's one very good movie. Also, the Pixar short that runs before it is very entertaining.

Okay, enough on topics that do not relate to talking (thinking, feeling) wildlife animals.

Justin

*Neither of which appear in The Wind in the Willows, but they might spice things up a bit before they sadly die because they have been dropped in the middle of an incompatible climate without a reliable food source--yeah, maybe it's a good idea they aren't in the book after all.

This painting represents the reunion of a parent and its child after the baby played with friends in the river. The colours show the passions of Africa and the tenderness of a happy family. It took about a week to paint and was created in oils on canvas. Currently this painting is owned by a collector in the United Kingdom. They wanted a reminder of their time in Kenya.

I'm not telling the whole truth though, as I did have time to do a little craft, only it has taken me so long to take a picture of it and blog it.

I went to Spotlight and bought some felt, wool and stuffing. I sewed together this gorgeous little elephant which was inspired by this pretty pink elephant. I chose a baby blue and white polka dot felt and a plain white felt with baby blue wool. My elephant didn't turn out as good as the one I was inspired by-but that is because I didn't cut a pattern or look at the computer screen, I just cut the felt pieces from memory hoping I would get it right. I ended up making the under piece too big so my elephants legs sit lower and almost parallel to the ground, but I still think he is adorable.

I hand sewed him too, the last time I hand sewed was years ago-I am so used to having a sewing machine. The hand stitching was a little messy though so I went over the cotton thread stitches with a cute wool stitch which I think adds that extra something.

Because I am making this for my son on the way I thought I should make it a rattle. I improvised and used the center egg from a Kinder Surprise and filled it with a few buttons and sealed it shut. I stuffed it in with the stuffing and now the elephant is a perfect baby rattle toy. I can just imagine my baby chewing its legs or trunk off like babies do.