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dumbest blonde joke of the day

bloggerbecky — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 14:57:00 +0000

Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."

The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."

The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."

"Very good!" said St. Peter.

The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted!

The last bit of time I waste

Andrea — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:38:15 +0000

Hey you,

Yeah you. Of course it took you 3 seconds to google me. Don't act so thrilled. It's not like I thought you would never find me. Since you turned off your comments (oh you're so smart arn't you lol) I guess I will just express myself on my own terrain.

I wasn't accusing you of anything. You profess you materialism, problems, bitching, fake boobies, and probable IQ of 100 all by yourself all over your blog chloe, how classy right? The reason I feel so strongly against you and your pollution of the internet is the simple fact that I am everything that is COMPLETELY opposite from you (no I'm not speaking of looks... try really hard to think beyond the surface). I can understand why you have so much anxiety. You live your life in such a messed up way. But who am I right? I am someone with an opinion which I am allowed to express :)... so deal! Just as I have to deal with stupid 20 year olds like yourself every single day. So deal.

Oh, one last thing. My whole comment was how you need to remove yourself from your superficial universe you live in. How everything revolves around your looks and boobies. What did you have to reply to that... let's see... here it is:

"a friend of mine once had on her blog, “you can’t be beautiful without suffering” ; she was so right. sometimes i do honestly believe life would have been easier as an unattractive, chubby girl. stranger; you wouldn’t have thought twice to leave a comment on my blog then, would you." - chloe

Cool. So you totally missed it all eh? Oh well... done and done!

Blondes and Horses

glowingirl — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:02:27 +0000

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had
no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and
the horse immediately springs into
motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde
begins to slide from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get
a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but
she slides down the horse's side anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping
rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap
away from the horse and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunaltely, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is
now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck
against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from
unconsciousness when to her great fortune.....

Frank, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

Dumb blondes are unlike Benzes

tullyc — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:22:36 +0000

Now this is a good ad. It's simple, it's funny and it plays on a joke premise that everybody understands (the dumb blonde joke), so you know what is going on pretty much from the beginning. Plus, it makes a salient point about the product it is advertising, in this case a Mercedes-Benz:

1. The car is beautiful.

2. There is much more to love about it than that.

I like that, unlike in the Cadillac CTS commercial (which I discussed below), the people at Benz didn't feel the need to spell it all out for us. This-is-a-luxury-car-that-you-buy-if-you-have-lots-of-money-and-want-to-appear-rich-in-social-scenes. Also unlike the CTS commercial, there is no mention of the car's luxurious elements. We don't need to be told that a Benz is going to have leather seats and wood accents and a moon roof. Anybody can pretty well assume that these things are available.

All this commercial really needs to be is a reminder of what everybody already knows about Mercedes-Benz. This is a confident commercial from a confident company that doesn't need to prove anything. Much unlike, apparently, Cadillac.

The Jessica Simpson of Country Music!!!

Christina Schmidt — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 05:22:45 +0000

Watch this!!!

Now, I know I'm at a little bit of an advantage, having been to Europe (not Hungary, but my parents had Hungarian friends), but what are they teaching in schools, that she doesn't realize Europe is a CONTINENT?!?!?!?!? Makes ya wonder how she even graduated high school!!!!! I know I have my blonde moments, but she makes Jessica Simpson, who wouldn't eat buffalo wings because she doesn't eat buffalo, look bright!!!!! I believe ANY 5th grader would win this battle!!!

St. Nicolas Thief & Chapel Hill Blacks Plan Commissary Party & Legal Fund Raiser for Demario Atwater & Lawrence Lovette

underprivilegedjournalism — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 04:19:04 +0000

The world would’ve been better if it’d been Britney instead of Eve”- Kirkland Perkins

What’s the sexiest thing in the tragic March 5th murder of UNC celebustudent Eve Carson’s robbery & slaying:
A) The stunnigly attractive slain victim;

B) The sexy & young new Ghetto Bragging Rights Superthugs Demario Atwater & Lawrence Lovette who’ve quickly risen to the top of the Sexiest & Hardest Ghetto Black Male Felon Bragging Rights scene; or,
C) The hot, execution style used, but reportedly unfound, murder weapon?

“If they can talk about use of the death penalty without having found the murder weapon, the state may as well charge Demario and Lawrence with rape as well as capital murder,” anti black poverty champ St. Nicolas Thief said from Chapel Hill, Wednesday. “Tomorrow’s headline on the DailyTarHeel should read: Eve Carson raped!” St. Thief, who is visiting Chapel Hill to build community support for Atwater and Lovette is said to be planning a party to celebrate the two young men’s lives and to raise money for their legal and commissary needs.

Carson was shot and murdered early in the morning of March 5, 2008, in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, United States. A 21-year-old, Demario James Atwater, of Durham, North Carolina has been charged with her murder.^[2] A second suspect, 17-year-old Lawrence Alvin Lovett Jr.,^[3] was taken into custody early morning March 13.^[4] Lovett is also now being held ^[5] in connection with the January murder of a 29-year-old Duke University engineering student named Abhijit Mahato. ^[6]

MEDIA REPORTS ON MISSING MURDER WEAPON

Time Magazine (CHAPEL HILL, N.C.) — The student body president at the University of North Carolina was killed by a shot from a handgun to her right temple, according to a police report released Friday.

Nancy Grace: UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: My question is … did thethey find murder weapons? And did ballistics trace these to both of the victims?

GRACE: Shelvia Dancy joining us. Very quickly, Shelvia, have they found the murder weapon?

DANCY: In the Eve Carson case, they haven`t told us anything whether they found that weapon. When it comes to the death of Mahato, I don`t recall whether or not officers said they were able to find a weapon. And in any case, again, officers aren`t telling us how they made that connection, whether it is ballistics, because it happened so quickly, or whether it was some other means that they used to connect the dots in those cases.

WGCL: Curran said detectives had no evidence other than her car, which was found Thursday about a mile from where her body was discovered. Officers found the blue 2005 Toyota Highlander after receiving a tip from a witness who spotted it near the main drag though the college town about 45 minutes west of Raleigh.

“While the new, young suspects are my heart and Eve’s no dumb, blonde Britney Spears knock-off, my pick’s the murder weapon,” said Ghetto Bragging Rights publisher Kirkland Perkins. “It hasn’t been found, the media’s flaming the death penalty and the Governor’s offered a $10,000 reward for it and/or the real culprits to be snitched out. While Carson may have made some positive contribution to our world, Britney Spears is a waste of space. Americans would have rather seen Britney dragged off into the streets and shot like some old and mangy street dog than Eve.”

tAKE THE DUMB TEST!

goddessmomo — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 05:25:28 +0000

hEY i TOOK THE DUMB TEST AND i GOT A BADGE FOR IT! iT SAYS HOW DUMB i AM HERE IT IS!

72% THAT MUCH! WOW, i AM SOO PROUD OF MYSELF!

Oh here is another badge I got from taking the dumb blonde test.

Hey I will tell you what they all mean l8er. Ok here is another test i took. It is the crazy test.

You can never get too many badges! the dork, loser, nerd quiz, which m I you will have to find out!

Ok that is enough badges to show offf in one day, maybe I will show you ore some other time. Okay I will tell you what they all mean, well what MY badges mean of course.

Dumb test badge means: well it shows it in th badge.

dumb blonde test means:

Dumb Bubbly Blonde You're a bit ditzy, yes, but you'd be the first to admit it! You've got a happy-go-lucky attitude and you find the whole "dumb blonde" stereotype kind of silly and are kind of proud of it!! Woo-hoo! Go! Blondes! Go!...oh, no! Wait...I didn't mean go! Come back! well that is their def. for it. I am not a blonde but if I was i would be a bubbly blonde? ROFL!

The crazy test badge means:

A.D.D. You have Attention Deficit Dis--um, hello!? Are you even reading this anymore? Yoo-hoo!? Hey! Look at this...shiny object...you like that right? That's right...Look at the--hey! Stop that! Look, your nose is on your FACE, you can't *chase it*. It doesn't work that way...oh forget it. to let you know, I dont have ADD but sometimes I act like it. Not to be funny, but if I havetoo much sugar then I will act like it.Like at my Catalina camp, I had 2 slices of cake and I went COO COO COO COO.

The lucky quiz badge means:

Three-Leaf Clover Fate and facts equally rule my soul. okay that is not cool! That is nothing like me. I nver think about fate unless someone or something(TV) brings it up,and that is really rare because I told most of my family that I dont like those conversations or that word.

Now the loser, nerd, geek, dork quiz badge means:

Dork Uh oh... you're a DORK! Your kind is pretty much socially inept. You also tend to be unattractive, so you don't even have that going for you. And to make matters worse, you don't think you're a dork. But trust me, you are. Also, it wouldn't kill you to shower more often. Okay just to tell you, I DO NOT SMELL! And I am glad I am un-attractiv because I dont want to attract the NERDS torward me, YEAH I SAID IT "NERDS"!

That is pratically it,

See ya,

Have fun taking quizzes!

Goddessmomo

PS: the website name is www.quizrocket.com

PPS: for some wierd reason my e key isnt working so I always have to re press it so If you see a e mistake, ignore it and please keep reading.

PPPS: Hey you cant see the badges but tomarrow Iwill put on th pics, I need to go to bed andi just realized that you couldnt see the badges. SORRY! ROFL! :0

Play Station?

outeasy — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 01:23:45 +0000

FILE UNDER: WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

Thanks to Sheryl Crow, we have the collaborative 'socio-politico-humorio' thing to talk about, and hopefully, its course will run no longer than fifteen minutes. You know, take a dumb blond, some potty humor, a dash of politics and global warming, throw it on the wall, and watch the networks drool. It worked. Actually, it's still working. I'm amazed. Anyhow, I'm glad there are some bright stars out there with sense of droll. Thanks, Sheryl.

But, I wonder what the ad people at/for SONY were thinking with the following commercial for the portable Play Station? Set-up: A young dood enters a public restroom where all urinals are unoccupied, save one, and proceeds to pee next to an older dood. The older dood attempts to "break the ice," but the younger dood is otherwise occupied. So much so - look carefully at the end - without regard, he peed all over himself and totally by-passed the sink.

I don't own this model Play Station, and I usually check out my bud's purchases before I make mine, so thanks Sony for enforcing Sheryl's socio-awareness. While I'm not interested in this unit, I am further reminded of the importance of manners and hygiene, and will think again before I enjoy saving a buck on Ebay by buying used.

Sony Play Station Commercial

"EVERYBODY IS UP TO SOMETHING" sm