Oh to be sure, we had our differences...every family does.  However, on the school playground, in the neighborhood, on the buses or anywhere for that matter...we protected one another.  It was a matter of loyalty.

         So, I guess when i first heard about Madonna's brother writing a book about his very famous sibling...i thought....what rubbish.  How could he do that to his sister in public?  I mean...what about the unwritten sibling rule?  Where is his loyalty?  Are there any boundaries that are "normal or typical" in their relationship?

          I thought, if you have issues with each other...work it out privately.  Then, after i heard some of the interviews that her brother has given...i thought, you know what...i would probably read the book.  There is a whole multiple layer level of "knowing" someone famous when you get to know them through the eye's of someone who was or is close to that person.  This is what the publisher is counting on to make the book a best seller, I am sure.

       Madonna is a complex woman.  She is always changing her public personna.  She has done and said such outrageous things that it is almost like unraveling a mystery; trying to understand what makes her do some of the things that she does.  Many of her achievements are to be admired.  Many of the things she has done are revolting to me personally.  She is a mix of cutting edge and yet, thrown in, are fascinating details about her "mixed" messages of religion.  Throw in the terrible personal loss of her mother when she was a young girl, and the effects of that on the rest of her life; and it will shed some light on some of the areas of he psyche.

       That being said, as much as i hate to say it...i will read Christopher Ciccone's book, "Life With My Sister, Madonna".  Madonna has had a large impact on our society and culture over the years.  It is as much an effort to understand that influence; as it is, to understand what makes Madonna tick that propels me to read the book. 

      Mr. Ciccone should be forewarned...those of us reading the book will not only understand Madonna better; we will also understand him and what makes him tick.  You see, in my mind, for a sibling to break the unwritten rule...he/she has to have felt violated/taken advantage of/rejected/dismissed/or disrespected in such a way that they feel justified in breaking the rule. 

      However, I won't support him financially for crossing the line regarding the unwritten sibling rule...I will "borrow" the book from my local library.  There is no sense in rewarding him for trading memories for cash about his sister; when it is something that I would expect from one of those school bullies ...not a loving, loyal family member.  Would you write about a family member, or honor the unwritten sibling rule?  If so, why?

Now before any of you get the idea that I have more angst than I can handle, let me explain something. My life is pretty great. I know you don't want to hear that because it's like reading a story with no conflict, how totally boring, right? But I'm being quite honest when I say, I have an amazing, hard-working husband who patiently allows me to stay home and pursue my interests (which, coincidentally may or may not make money) and two boys who are sweet, caring, smart and work really hard please us. My life, for about 98.9% of the time, is conflict free. We all peacefully coexist and as long as everyone does what I say, we're all happy.

Heh.

BUT ...

We are FAR from perfect. Especially me. If I were to be perfectly honest with you, and this post? It's going to be brutally honest (in a reveal-not-too-much sort of way); I'm probably THE single, and biggest, problem in my family. I have a RED HOT, FIERY temper that gets the best of me. Hot lava spews from my mouth when my temper flares and I'm left grabbling with a guilty conscience for a long time afterwards - years even. In fact, when I'm "a mood", I KNOW it's happening. And I KNOW what I'm doing is irrational, asinine and totally over the top. And I even TELL MYSELF to shut up, to calm down, to step back and breathe because I'm going to do something I'm going to regret and ...

I ignore that voice of reason and afterwards? Chock the experience up to yet another one of my incredibly stupid, lost-my-head, wife/parent moments.

I'm a good mother, I'm not a great mother. And if you know me, please don't sit there and think, "Oh, what are you talking about. You're a great mother."

No people, I'm not. I'm very, very human; I'm incredibly short and impatient with people, perhaps more so with my family than with outsiders, and I make mistakes. Not all the time, I have a bit more self-control than that, but when the mistakes happen? THEY ARE WHOPPERS.

My family is WELL AWARE of my temper. In fact, it's safe to say that my guys are pretty much experts at walking on eggshells by this time because though I'm a pretty reasonable person three weeks out of four, it's that fourth week that's the killer.

My hormones don't rage - they have a freaking war. Again, there is a part of me that KNOWS this is happening. And that part is constantly trying to soothe me down and coax me away from the pit of hell, but it's like one person speaking in a normal voice in a room full of shrieking babies - I just don't hear it most of the time. And okay, since we're being honest here, sometimes I ignore it. I succumb to my physical war and everything EVERY. THING. sets me off.

"I'm sorry, did you just give me a dirty look?" ROAR.

"You did NOT just say that to me." ROAR.

"Don't take that tone of voice with me, young man." ROAR.

"Did you just SIGH at me??" ROAR.

Really, it's that stupid. I know this, my family knows this and yet, I fall into that stupid trap nearly every month. And sometimes, I can't even blame Moaning Myrtle, sometimes I'm just simply touchy.

And just think, I'm not even menopausal yet. (Well, actually I could be ... but that's a different post and a different set of problems).

I have my boys under my thumb. I control them. Wow, I'm not proud to say that. But it's true. We've always had a pretty strict routine, one which the boys have followed, whether they liked it or not.

Now that my boys are teenagers, the control thing? Doesn't fly with them, things have changed. Even though I've fought tooth-and-nail to keep our lives the same, I'm losing control. I don't like it, and it drives me insane at times, but it's a necessary part of life. I can't control them anymore. I shouldn't have to and quite honestly, I don't want to. But gosh darn it, I don't know HOW to let go of that control. When they were controlled, I could protect them from life's unpleasant moments. I could shield them from being hurt, both physically and emotionally.

And now? There are too many things, too many factors, both physically and emotionally, and I can't juggle them all. I'm losing issues, one-by-one, the balls I've been juggling all of these years? Are beginning to fall.

And I REALIZE this is how it should be. The rational part of my brain WANTS these kids to be independent, to make their own decisions, and yes, even make their own mistakes. But the MATERNAL instinct in me is having a really, REALLY, hard time coming to terms with this.

Sunday night, GD was playing Halo with his good pal and buddy. He was trying to walk him through a difficult storyboard and it was lasting forever. In fact, it lasted well past his bedtime. And I warned him, repeatedly, for 40 MINUTES that he needed to wrap it up, say goodbye, it was time to get off. We have rules, and the boys know these rules.

After 40 minutes and I couldn't see any end in sight, I lost my temper. Now the situation had morphed into a question of control. GD was pushing his limits. He knew it, I knew it. I had warned him that if he didn't get off the game in five minutes, I would unplug the router and he would lose his internet connection (which, btw, I unplug every night so the boy doesn't sneak back onto his computer).

I unplugged the router and the boy lost his connection. He also completely lost his temper. GD is a pretty passive sort of personality so the fact that he got that mad, that quickly, threw me for a loop. He told me, in no uncertain terms, to go do something, something I won't repeat here. I was shocked. He had never spoken to me like that before and I reacted. He in turn, hit me.

It wasn't a punch but more of a slap. And I think it surprised him as much as it surprised me. Again, I was shocked and immediately lost my cool. Suffice it to say, things REALLY escalated from that point on (nothing physical, but a lot of shouting) and I had to walk away or I would kill the boy.

I stuck my feet into my flip-flops and I left. I drove to a church parking lot and listened to music for an hour to give myself time to cool off. Because I knew, that if I had stayed, given my temper, things would really get out of control.

The husband had slept through this whole thing. He had gone to bed because he needed to get up and go to work the next day. He had no idea any of this went down until the next morning.

I said some things that I really, truly, honestly regret. And GD? If you ever read this, please know this. I felt small, vulnerable, hurt, and fragile. I had lost control of the situation, of myself, and I wasn't sure how to make it better. What now? This was a pretty serious thing. A child does NOT hit his mother. Though I understand his anger, his frustration and that what happened was in the heat of the moment and he was certainly goaded, the bottom line was, he disrespected me.

But didn't I do the same thing to him?

The next morning, I sat down and talked to MK (he was up before GD). Unfortunately, MK witnessed the whole ugly scene because he was playing the game with this brother. In fact, he was caught between a rock and a hard place - he knew he needed to get off, but he knew that if he quit the game before it was over, his brother would be furious with him. We talked about how there would be times in his life that that happened, that he would have to make a decision, the one he knew was right in his heart, even if it meant upsetting someone. It was a life lesson he's not likely to forget.

And then GD woke up. And we talked.

The conversation took an unexpected turn. I had expected to rant and rave and just be a total dick to my son, but actually, I ended up explaining why I am the way I am to him. I apologized for my behavior and asked him for help - I needed help letting him go. He also apologized for the way he acted and explained to me why he lashed out the way he did. There was a lot of crying, a lot of soul searching and I think (hope) we cleared the air on a lot of issues that had been building up over time.

And the time has come to let go of my son. Not completely, it'll never be completely, but enough so that he can breathe. Enough so that he can start making his own decisions and simply live his life without fear of bumping into me at every turn. He'll be a sophomore this year. He's about to face a lot of grown up issues - issues that he insists he needs to make on his own. Issues I will try my absolute best to let him make on his own. He knows I'm there if he needs me, I'm his backup plan, his safety net (which is something I've always pounded into the boys' heads - always have a plan B), but wow, this is going to be hard on me. I hope I have the strength to back off and allow whatever needs to happen, happen.

The hubs was not happy with the situation. In fact, I'm very grateful he had the strength to dole out the punishment because I simply felt too guilty to do it. But children can't be allowed to act that way toward their parents without some repercussions. MK is grounded for a week (because he didn't make the right decision - he continued playing when he knew he shouldn't have been) and GD is grounded for two weeks for the way he treated me. Neither can get on the computer, or play video games.

This has been especially hard on GD because games are all the boy lives for. But as I explained to him, sometimes it's necessary to stop and breathe, to step back and gain some real life perspective. And that includes anything that takes our complete attention away from reality (like blogging, for instance. And yes, I've been setting examples by shutting my monitor off, walking away and doing something else for a while).

I don't know who learned more from our nasty Sunday night episode - GD or me.

WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE DO THAT?! and... What the hell are they thinking?

It is SO irritating when people play on your words to manipulate conversations into going their way, or a different way or to completely stop when there is still something to discuss. Or to keep drawing all the attention to you so that they don't have to confront their own issues.

We are all flawed people. No need to attack someone in such a way. It's messed up. and definitely NOT respectful.

♀ Women that talk endlessly when with a man cannot also be mysterious. Unless, perhaps, if their jabber stays impersonal, which it seldom remains.

♀ Women make the institution of marriage of, by, and for women and children. Husbands are left out once children are born. Men don’t play second fiddle and remain with that orchestra.

♀ Women tossed away femininity and the social construct of the lady to make room for feminist theory and spirit. Men fake, sidestep, and b.s. around whatever they face to access sexual partners. They wonder, but not too much, why women traded female strengths for masculine weaknesses in order to deal with men.

♀ Wives win this way: Before marriage he proves through devotion that he’s worthy of her; he earns her hand. After marriage she proves herself worthy of him; she maintains his devotion.

♀ When a woman diminishes or weakens showing respect and gratitude for her man, she earns his disrespect. This shifts her away from marital sainthood and positions her for disposal to the ex lane.

[More about sex and fickle females appears in posts 229, 216, 201, 184, 170, 160, 148, 137, 93, and 34. Scroll down or search by the number followed by a dot and space.]

First, men marry for significance. A husband expects wife’s respect for who he is and gratitude for what he does. It symbolizes his significance.

Second, husband’s greatest fear is insignificance, symbolized by wife’s disrespect and ingratitude. If she doesn’t depend upon him for a lot, or if she’s too independent, his sense of significance fades.

Third, a man’s love is based on respect for a particular woman. His unconditional respect for the female gender helps immensely, if he has it.  

Fourth, he wants her to stay the woman he married. He expects her not to change, but many women do. She loses both respect and her identity as the exciting thing that turned him onto marriage. His marital dream fades.

Fifth, she expects to change him into the man of her dreams. When she tries to change him, he resists. She pushes, he resents. She tries too hard, he retaliates. Ultimately, she loses so much respect that his masculine nature trumps his love.

Wife’s greatest fear is abandonment. A husband doesn’t stay long with a wife that he doesn’t respect or that doesn’t respect and appreciate him.

[More about newlywed bonding appears in posts 230 and 224. Scroll down or search for the number followed by a dot and space.]

“I have four kids and if one of them gets out of line I will spank their bottoms. Kids nowadays get away with too much stuff. If you tell your child to stop doing something and there are no consequences then he will just turn around and do it again. Putting your child in time-out only works at that time. When they get out of time-out they will do it again but if they get a spanking it’s going to hurt and they won’t do it again. We got spanking when we were children, and I learned right from wrong. In my opinion if you don’t spank your children and let them know who is the boss then they will run all over you.”

“I think spanking is barbaric. The last thing I want to do is hurt my children by hitting them. Parents who hit their children don’t deserve children and just teach children that the solution to all problems lies in violence.”

McCain's cohort, James Dobson, a conservative preacher man, has gotten his knickers in a knot over Barack Obama's views on religion and the constitution.  He has stated that the senator has a "fruitcake interpretation". Article HERE.

Perhaps back in the day, when "fruitcake" meant weird and eccentric we could have all been gay (as in happy) about it.

Unfortunately for Dobson, his slang is outdated and "fruitcake" means something else.  If you read the current definition of "fruitcake" at Urban Dictionary.com you can see why Dobson just elected himself the prime target of GLAAD. Even if he had a point about Obama's interpretation, he lost it the minute he used "fruitcake".

This isn't the first time Dobson has been less than positive towards gays. Another article quotes him as saying:

«Dobson said 80 percent of children are born out of wedlock in Norway. Homosexuals are not monogamous. They want to destroy the institution of marriage. It will destroy marriage. It will destroy the Earth, Dobson said. (The Oklahoman, 10-23-03)»

Full article HERE.'

There's another gem from a visit Dobson paid Larry King's show where he says he actually wants to restore someone from homosexuality.  Because only heterosexual people are normal, of course.  Find that HERE.

Both men have exposed they are almost as old as Mr. Burns. They are old fashioned and outdated,but I also think they have certain dangerous world views.

McCain is a mysogynist who divorced his first wife after he cheated on her repeatedly.  I think he has a superior attitude and the words he uses represents that belief.

Dobson is anti-homosexual and has continuously used hateful metaphors and examples to illustrate how dangerous he feels homosexuality is.  He is not someone I care to learn about religion from.  To me, religion is love and peace.  He doesn't represent that view in my eyes. He is oppressive, closeminded, and judgmental.

In short, we could just write off his word usage as silly or we could factor it in with the rest of his rhetoric and realize it's part of a larger problem.  James Dobson cannot criticize others so harshly without expecting us to criticize him right back.

Dobson may feel he doesn't have a "fruitcake" interpretation (whatever that means) of religion and the constitution, but in my opinion, he's doesn't have a godly one either.

Update: Obama's response HERE.

As women go, so goes society. Feminist propaganda over the past four decades was brash and captivating. Women couldn’t resist elevating themselves relative to men.

However, it left huge piles of social and domestic debris. This major political movement now approaches implosion from fatal compressions, such as:

·        Feminists pay no attention to what men say about the subject. Men are unqualified, the culprits, the enemy.

·        Men never bought in to Feminism. Their behavior changed to ensure frequent and convenient access to sex, but their nature didn’t change. (See posts titled ‘Sex differences explain men’ in the Table of Contents.)

·        Trying to conquer natural male dominance with politics and propaganda, feminists destroyed unconditional respect between the genders.   

·        Modern men possess undependable character traits, make less than ideal mates, and lather the female gender with disrespect—no calls after his conquest, early dumping, surprise abandonment, skipping childcare payments, infidelity, weak commitment, insincere devotion, abuse, violence.

·        Men are more alien than native for helping fulfill the hopes and dreams of women for their children and future.

·        The male gender focuses on sex and conquest. Individuals take out feminist-inspired discouragements, frustrations, and rejections on dates, lovers, mates, spouses, and even children.

·        Women passed to men dominance of cultural values. Masculine values and interests dominate the pop culture, which more clearly dominates the social scene and culture as newer generations take over.

For these and other reasons, Feminism fades as obsolete. Women will soon rise up with a wiser set of cultural values to inspire men to help fulfill female hopes and dreams. Hopefully, it will be feminine and exploit sex differences instead of politically and fractiously trying to level those differences. 

[Other posts about the Dark Side are 211, 196, 180, 168, 157, 146, 134, 129, 123, 103, 92, 71, 50, 47, and 23. Scroll down or search by the number and then click the title.]

        Joan was on a talk show during in Britain when she cursed about a guest host; Russell Crowell, the movie star.  She allegedly said that she thought that her language could be beeped out; but to me that is just disrespectful of her audience.  She did apologize; however, she was asked to leave during a break in the show.

        It just seems to me that an entertainer of her skill could be a little more appropriate in her public appearances.  I think comedians like to do shock comedy...but, to me it is a cheap way to get a laugh...as i said..with her experience and skill; Joan Rivers is capable of so much more than she gives; when , she resorts to those kinds of cheap laughs.

love breathed itself thin
weaving shards into wings
heart was thick with yearning for itself
soft, wet and slow like the fallen gazes
dropping up and down like wings
reflecting her face on the passing cars,
the sky, the old mans eyes,
my scars,
my skin.

wandering through this wasteland
of reluctant temples
we chase
green paper demi gods
calling them dreams
throwing them blood
my home is in the gloaming
where souls burn lights for peace
bring me through the veil of living
where greed and hatred cease.

life is a burning down of sky
a lingering moment of a kiss on the caravanserai
carry me back through the heart fettered womb
toward sky and tomb
or baptize my sight
with rumors of light
anywhere
away from here

I am demanding that news outlets, pundits and other talking heads start treating Michelle Obama with the same respect with which they treat other political spouses.  Not more, not less, just the same.  What has me ticked off?  Fox News* referring to Michelle Obama as "Obama's Baby Mama."  This is disrespectful to her on so many levels:  wife, mother, African American, professional, presidential candidate's wife, etc. 

First of all, the term "baby mama" is a derogatory term used to describe a woman who has children fathered by a man who is not her husband, boyfriend or current source of encouragement/support.  All of these things are the antithesis of what Mrs. Obama is to Mr. Obama.  Note, that I called them Mrs. and Mr.  It is because they are a married couple who has dedicated themselves to each other and the raising of their two beautiful daughters. 

Secondly, few marriages can withstand the scrutiny to which the Obama marriage has been subjected, especially not the Clinton partnership.  Even at their darkest times, Bill Clinton was never referred to as Hillary Clinton's "baby daddy."  And we know what a drama filled marriage they've had. 

Last, I'm not the only one calling for better treatment of Michelle Obama, so are Jack and Jill Politics, Michelle Obama Watch, and NiaOnline.  Not that she needs us to defend her, as a woman - especially a black woman - she has been defending herself all of her life, but I'm sure it helps her to know that she has people supporting her (and not in a wanna be ghetto fashion either, but don't get me started on that).  

*In the interest of disclosure, I was a Fox News fan.  I enjoyed the interaction between the anchors but I think this has crossed the line.  This was neither funny nor contributory to the dialogue surrounding Barak Obama and his qualifications for the White House.  Therefore, I am officially turning off Fox News.

Disrespect is like if you're walking with your lady and a stranger comes up to you and expectorates on her and then punches you in the face. (Expectorate means spit, you cretin). That would be disrespect.

Disrespect is not, contrary to the belief of some lady on the 2 train yesterday morning, when two ladies who are friends politely ask another lady if she can move over to the empty seat next to her so they can sit next to each other.

Here is the scene:

Friend 1: Can you move over one so we can sit together?

Lady: [moves over]

Friend 1: [barely audible] Thank you.

Lady: [looking at gentleman next to her with a flabbergasted look, like, Can you believe the nerve of that goddamn fucking cuntrag whore?]

Gentleman: [gives Lady impartial look as if to say, maybe you're right, I don't know, I don't have enough information here, I will just stay out of it.]

Lady: [turns to Friend 1]. You're welcome.

Friend 1: What?

Lady: You're welcome.

Friend 1: We just want to sit together. [Friends 1 and 2 appear to be Swedish or something].

Lady: You didn't say thank you.

Friend 2: Yes, she did. She said thank you.

Lady: [Angry look plastered on face, she goes back to reading her book].

Now, that lady seems to think she was disrespected. But she wasn't. She was merely asked to move over to an empty seat.

People in New York are too aggressive. They need to chillax like Chester or Garfield.

Why? I thought. Why would God let me meet this person HERE, TONIGHT?

The past few days---weeks---MONTHS I've been lonely, and just wanting affection from anywhere, but at the same time battling the sensation that I deserve more than someone who just wants to use me. That I deserve a boyfriend that isn't screwed up somehow. But when I started dancing with old church buddy, and he was holding my hips (the way I like) and kissing my neck (the way I like) and staring in my eyes (the way ANYONE likes) I knew that as much as it would be so easy to start kissing him right here, this moment, and satisfy that longing that's been in me for so long... there was NO way I was going to let that happen.

Why?

Because of what he was saying to me, and because I felt God saying "THAT is not what he needs right now." When a brother in the Lord is obviously fallen, is blurting out to you as fast as his mouth can say it ALL the horrible things he is doing on a daily basis. Telling you that he knows you understand. When he says it was too hard, that he no longer understands the Lord. That he loves his friends. That he was hurt. That he is lost. It's heartwrenching. It's scary. It's sad.

I took his number. Before I call him I have to pray, I need to keep my motivations in the right place, and know exactly what the Lord wants me to say. There was a reason we were both at that same bar, on a Wednesday night...some reason.

Next boy with problems is my cousin's boyfriend. The Guatemalan who suddenly breaks up with my beautiful cousin because he was freaked out by a few small fights. But random miscommunications. My cousin said they had reached a point where he had fallen in love with her, and because he had never been there before, because all his previous girlfriends had cheated on him, he spooked. And he called it quits.

Of course he called the next day and took it all back.

Then there is my brother. Who texts me that he is depressed and lonely. And I write back that he hasn't been by the house to visit in forever, and he should come over tonight. He didn't show.

Don't even get me started on my Father. Who SAYS he's broken up with his girlfriend and wants to come take us out for MY birthday on Saturday. I am not comfortable with this. I just can't sit like one big happy family knowing all that's transpired. I can't just talk to him like we used to. I am not sinning but not wanting him around. I am not trying to take out vengence. I just am still angry and sad. Why does it have to be around my events? The night before I leave for Costa Rica is when we find out he's a cheater. Now he wants to come on my birthday? Geez.

Don't even get me started on the Groom and how as he and the bride are driving through the Rocky Mountains he is passing gas the entire way.

Plus my crazy highschool friend's ex-fiance. She had to break it off with him because the boy can't get himself off of drugs. But still haunts her and she can't get free.

Damn why do girls settle for less than they deserve?

And then, there is the worst of them all in my book... because he supposedly is so great, is my sister's boy, the Musician. Who will go for weeks without speaking to her. Closing her out when he does not like something. Like when she bought the car he didn't think she needed to buy (though she hadn't had one in 9 months, she spent 3500$ on a good little honda to drive herself to and from schoool... because we all have been doing it all year) instead he makes her feel guilty. Then we just found her an AMAZING place to stay next year, and he doesn't even congratulate her. The rest of us are thrilled at how perfect the price is, the size, the beautiful safe, close location to her school. A gift from God. And he won't even call her. My God he is such a jerk. Then I get to the movies tonight and he is sitting there, next to my sister, reading Harry Potter by cell phone light. While the rest of the theater talks and makes out, he is being the most rude person by not even acknowledging her. I mean, aren't boyfriends supposed to hold their girlfriends hands? Aren't they supposed to pay attention to them? Talk to them? Treat them like they are the best girl in the world? After the movie he gets up and walks out... and continues walking even after she and I stop because she forgot her sweater. Then I stop in the restroom and when I get out I see just my sister. Her boyfriend had left. He was the one who brought her. She drove home with me.

I mean, how much more of an asshole can you get? This isn't even all the horrible things he's done. Let's not even go into the fact that he got her to change her mind about the new church we were going to. Only pressure will cause a girl to go from absolutely loving a new church and thinking it's amazing to "well.... I wasn't really sure I was supposed to be there anyways, I'll just stay where I am"

It makes me so furious I want to tear his head off. I couldn't keep quiet anymore. I got home and sent him an email on facebook that said

I have no right to interfere, but I can't stand it any longer. we just got home from seeing Batman. And my sister is in the bathroom. crying.

So I don't know what he'll do with that. But it just makes me so very angry. I told her on the way home "You deserve to be treated better than that. You are worth more than that."

And she is! I love my sister... as much as I may gripe about her bitchiness at times. She is the most incredible person I know. The most beautiful singing voice. Amazing drawing and painting skills. Is the only person in our family who speaks French and Italian. She write incredible stories and poetry. She is innovative, creative, hilarious, and genius. SHE DESERVES ONLY THE BEST BOYFRIEND. One who doesn't treat her like shit, that's for sure.

I can't imagine all the screwed up ness of this all. I mean, I may complain about being single, but until I find a man who WON"T do all this to me... I'll just wait thank you very much. I don't think so. The longer I wait, the higher my standards get. And that is not a bad thing. I will not let myself be disrespected. I've already done that enough in prior relationships. I think men need to step up, and start appreciating what they have. You selfish bastards, are you blind?

Are you completely and utterly blind? How can you hurt so badly the people that love you the most, and would and have done anything and everything in the world for you???? There is no way this is what God had in mind of how men should treat women. Of how men should behave. On how men should treat themselves. Such great potential being thrown to the wind. I cannot comprehend it.

BY EDGAR SANDOVAL, ALISON GENDAR and ETHAN ROUEN
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS

Tuesday, July 8th 2008, 12:41 AM

A 5-year-old was critically injured in a Brooklyn fire he set Monday as revenge for being punished by his grandmother, police and fire sources said.

Jay (Tito) Morales suffered third-degree burns to 70% of his body after he used a lighter to ignite the curtains in Nancy Herrera's Bushwick home, fire sources said. Herrera, 63, suffered minor injuries.

"It's all about revenge," a source said. "What's scary is he thought of this and he is only 5."

The boy twice prank-called 911 recently and told cops his grandmother was dead or in trouble, sources said. To punish the boy, Herrera forbade him from going to the park Monday with two friends.

To read more click here

Have you ever cussed somebody out so bad that you actually took a step back afterwards and reflected back on the situation like 'damn, I really just verbally BODY SLAMMED their ass’!?

Ever wrote a letter that cut so deep into someone that the moment you finished writing it, it felt like a huge weight had just been lifted off your shoulders.

Maaaan.... I just dropped a couple of rounds of live ammunition on my downstairs neighbor that was long overdue. And it felt… oh so good! I am so glad I am not one of those kinds of people who cannot find the adequate words to express themselves. Oh and she really deserved it too. Let us just say...she had me confused!

I semi- hated the fact that I had to let her have it, but alas it was necessary. After all, Ms. Jan IS my elder and I was always taught to respect my elders. However, she was disrespecting ME. I thought when I first moved in this building, that we would be good pals, since there are only three tenants including myself that reside here and Ms. Jan IS a family friend. Nevertheless, apparently haterism exists everywhere, even in the places you are least likely to expect...like your own home!

Here is a brief excerpt from the 2-page letter I had to send this woman…

…You obviously have me confused.

I am a educated, independent , accomplished, black woman who is struggling very hard to obtain her Masters degree from Georgetown and make something MORE of myself and I would have HOPED you would have had a LITTLE more class about YOURSELF than to treat me like I am purposely intending in ANYWAY to cause disruption in your life.

If you cannot handle “apartment living” where you MAY have to OCCASSIONALLY hear the ‘movement and living’ of another human being… then perhaps you should consider buying yourself a private home. Away from people!

I do not have any parties, hardly any company, nor any kids running around, there is no arguing & fighting, no men running in and out of my place or ANYTHING crazy going on in my home. So PLEASE… get a grip on yourself!....

Sorry, I had to tell you off Ms. Jan. But you should know better!

I would never allow myself to be treated this way.  I sure as heck hope my daughter never allows herself to be treated this way.  I have trouble even allowing my daughter to witness this particular relationship due to the example it is putting forth.  I do not want her to think it is OK for a woman to have no mind or life of her own.  And you can bet if a client comes to me and is allowing him/herself to be treated this way, I am going to bring it up, as uncomfortable as it may be.  IT IS NOT OK!!!! 

OK, I'm done...thanks for letting me get that off my chest!  I think I'll go run or something now...I feel the need to burn off the rest of the frustration I am feeling!!!

SusanUnPC at No Quarter asked NQ contributors to write about their reactions to the Solis Doyle appointment, and here is my rant.

One thing I now know for sure. Barack Obama definitely gave Hillary the finger back in April.

If you watch the video, you'll see the smirk on Barack's face, how he paused to let the audience howl at Hillary's expense, how very pleased he was with his adolescent performance.

Now I'm sure that it was "the finger" because 'Baby Barack' gave Hillary and all her supporters the finger again Monday when he hired slacker Solis Doyle to manage whoever the poor sucker is who will be his running mate (the VP-nominee doesn't even get to pick his/her own Chief of Staff..WTF?).

Solis Doyle, seriously? Patti, who didn't have enough respect for Hillary's campaign to answer e-mails and phone messages, who was so unmotivated that she shut down the campaign for 2 days to watch Grey's Anatomy? Now we know that she was an Obama mole all along.  Because there is no other explanation.

Mr. Hope-Change-Unity, with his finger high in the air, announced in his classic passive-aggressive way Monday that Hillary would not be on his stinky ticket. This latest "Go F**k Yourself" act is the final straw for millions of us who are sick-and-fed-up with the hypocrisy of the Obama Way.

While the Support Team of Presidential Election Losers (Kerry, Kennedy, Carter, Dean, Hart, Edwards, Richardson, and now Gore) is dispatched to spread the Fake Unity message, their chief executive pulls crap like this on a daily basis and seems not to notice or give a rat's ass about our outrage. Most likely he thinks we're "over-reacting" and figures we'll settle down and get over this "periodic" lapse in judgment, assumes we'll all eventually fall under his charismatic spell; maybe he plans to flash his crotch to help things along.

Or maybe Barack is really just too narcissistic to get it or give a damn. After all, he can win without true-blue Democrats, right? Isn't that what Unity team-member Donna "mama's rulz" Brazile said?

What a joke this guy is. He's a juvenile, arrogant, vacuous, racist, radical self-obsessed control freak who really believes we'll all fall for the Obama Brand because we're that gullible or stupid....or that's what obedient Democrats do?? But you forgot, Barack, Americans are Free Thinkers. And we sure as hell don't take kindly to being bossed around by a punk with no résumé.

There is nothing that is unifying about this latest hostile act involving Mole Doyle. This is the Politics of Division. The Politics of Destruction. The Politics of Disrespect. The Politics of Barack Obama. And if this is now the Politics of the Democratic Party, I have just one 4-letter word for the Unity Team and your stinky Losing Ticket, and that includes you, Al "lost-your-own-state" Gore:

PUMA!

But guys, the "Hot 'n Fresh" sign was on!

Anyways, today was a pretty good first full day of camp. We have a few girls who still exert a bit of attitude--one in particular, I'll call her EC. EC thinks that nothing here is serious and it really grates my nerves. The girls sat through a valuable seminar today about how to conduct yourself in a business setting. They learned about how to give a good handshake/introduction, and how to both conduct an interview and be interviewed by someone. EC? Sat with her head in her hands, practically asleep until she was called on to participate in a demonstration. I had high hopes when she came through the door with a smile on her face, but by the time she sat down to take part in the mock interview, she was slouched over, giving half-assed answers.

These girls' parents paid a good bit of money to send them here for the week. These folks who are coming out here to talk to them don't have to give back in the way that they do. I just wish that some of these girls would realize what an opportunity and a gift this is.

Do I sound like an old fart?

I brought a book with me to camp--the last in a series I'm reading. I was dying to read it when I left, and now I'm afraid to. I hate ending a good series, because the satisfaction is temporary. It's quickly replaced by sorrow over the fact that the series is done. I was like that about Harry Potter. Now I'm reading this similar series called The Children of the Red King, by Jenny Nimmo. It's a great series to read if you like Harry Potter but struggle with the depth of the series. As a future teacher, I'm trying to read as much YA literature as I can this summer. I've really enjoyed this series and I'm sad to see it end.

I suppose I should go. It's time for the dreaded cell phone collection. Out of 15 girls we have here, miraculously only 3 have cell phones with them. Am I doubtful of the validity of that statement? Yup.

Oh well. Off to bed I go! (And at a reasonable hour; aren't you proud?)

Until next time.

-MB

PS: Two girls totally tried the whole "shove-something-under-the-door-and-they-won't-know-our-light-is-on" trick last night. B-U-S-T-E-D.

On the street, the attitudes are insanely primitive: brute force is the best measure of getting anywhere at all. Preferrably you need to be loud and boastful yet, of course, be so friendly that you have to call everyone you meet 'mate', including those you later punch in their face for stepping on your shoe accidentaly on a over-crowded dancefloor. Finally, in the workplace there is the hiearchial structure of the 17th and 18th centuries that rules. If you happen to be one step above the next (even if it is a shit job, like being a cafe supervisor for a random franchise) you have to, and this is absolutely necessary for your survival, patronize and totally disrespect your staff in every opportunity you get to do so.

Please Australia, grow up! Such a young "nation" needs some disipline! Try at least to catch up, you need it.

"Sherdog.com: Your first performance was at UFC 79 and you had a controversial outcome. You were disqualified against James Irvin for striking his face with your knees when he was on the ground. You've got angry with him, saying he was pretending to be injured to stop the fight. Tell us a little about this whole situation.
Cane: The result of this fight was a little disappointing because I was hired by the UFC thinking I would face a real athlete. But in the end, I fought against a coward in a no-heart fight. If that kneeing really knocked him out, any child could do the same. But this fight is already part of the past. My new fight against Lambert will be my true first combat at the event and this time against a real fighter."

It's unfortuante to hear a professional athlete speak like that against a fellow competitor. It is a sign of unsportsmanlike conduct and if this was the NFL there would be a flag on the play or possibly getting booted from the game. I just thought it was really uncalled for. Luis Cane is evidently a talented fighter as he showed against Jason Lambert this past Saturday and it was unfortuante that he had to take a loss the way he did against Irvin. But HE was the one who delivered the illegal blow and it's just plain disrespectful and classless to say Irvin has no heart and to call him a coward and not a real fighter. It will be very interesting one day if Luis Cane ever faces a similar situation as he put James Irvin in. Then we will find out if he has a change of heart. Not cool at all Luis Cane. Not cool.

Here's the video of Luis Cane when he delivered that illegal blow to James Irvin.
[dailymotion id=x5or01]

You can read the rest of Luis Cane's interview with Sherdog here: Luis Cane Sherdog Interview

I'm not korean, nor do I live in Korea, but I know a bad situation when I see one. The Fanclub situation in Korea is painful to look at sometimes. As an outsider, its easy to shrug off most "bashings" or little "flamewars" that occur from time to time. But its a different story when these internet wars turn real. Thats exactly the case at the 2008 Dream Concert.

If you didn't already know, a few things unfortunate events happened at the concert. In short, some Super Junior banners were taken down and cut apart. And the boycott during Girl's Generation's performance.

Now, all of this is based on rumors and internet news since I personally did not attend the concert so if you've got more more info for me, I'd be glad to hear it.

Let's talk about the boycott first. I have never in my life been in a venue with a performance where the audience showed 0% support/thanks. This was exactly the case at the concert aside from the dedicated SNSD fans (which imo made up only a tiny portion compared to the massive stadium)

Kind of shocking to see a completely dead silent stadium. Now, there are supposedly a million reasons why this "boycott" is justified. IE: SNSD+various boy band romance rumours. SNSD poking fun at other groups dances (like junjins), and most of all... the "suju banner incident".

Which brings me to, the Super Junior banner incident. The banner was torn down, and apparently cut/trampled on by anti's. Who the anti's were, we'll probably never find out. However, its widely held that they're SNSD fans. Why wouldn't they blame them anyways? after all, one of their sole intents at the concert was to show (antisupport?) towards that very group.

It really was unfortunate that the whole banner thing even happened at all. Those banners aren't easy to make, and probably represented hours and hours of dedication and work from the fans. To see it go in such a fashion really kills you (no matter if you're a fan of said group or not). The crying and screaming shows how crushed they were. But then again, I would call ELF "shit-starters". They sure dish it out sometimes (what with ganging up on their own ex-fans (internet speculation?), forever 13 member/anti suju-m motion). Yet, they can't quite handle some retaliation.

Specifically, this begs the question. What happened first, the boycott, or the banner incident. A boycott doesn't happen in minutes. Its gotta be planned and agreed on in advance. To blame the boycott on the banner incident is just silly.

Looking at this whole incident from afar shows the ugly side of some fans in Korea. They've gone abit off the deep end. Instead of appreciating the artists for their music alone, they've idol'ised them too far. It's become their life, consumed them whole. Maybe its a part of Korean culture I don't (probably never will) understand, but its definitely not something I'd like to become a part of. They've made it seem like you can only be a fan of ONE, and ONLY one "group". To physically damage someone else's property, or to intentionally boo someones performance out of spite... I shake my head.

This kind of reminds me of some of the craziness over in Europe and soccer. Anti's over there commit even more serious offences in the name of "support".

Theres a pretty fine line between "appreciation as a fan", and "dangerously infatuated". I hope that this incident has shown the powerful effects of hate, and that things will be resolved.

Long post? Yea...