Originally Aired: 10/12/2007

Transgender individuals with the courage to say, This is who I am. What happens in one family when Dad becomes a woman? The new American family Oprah wanted to meet.

Denise _Blackrose_ Moscuzza
Caffé Novecento
Avola, 7 agosto 2008

tutte le foto

Denise _Blackrose_ Moscuzza
Caffé Novecento
Avola, 7 agosto 2008

tutte le foto

I moved into my new apartment last weekend, where I expected to find washer and dryer hookups in the room off the kitchen.  I started to explore after I got the keys and found an actual washer and dryer.  And the washer is a top loader!  This is exciting because a) I can now do laundry whenever I want without excuses such as "it's dark" or "it's raining" getting in my way, and b) I can felt things now! Very exciting.

Even more exciting news, I got a set of Denise's used on Ravelry from the ISO and Destashing group. The girl selling it also sold me an extra cord along with the extra 17's and 19's.  Hooray!  I have a whole new world of knitting possibilities now, because I don't have to worry about what size circulars I have. I can just do it.  I just got them in the mail this morning and started using them for my Flutter Sleeve Cardigan, because the size 6s I have are just a tad too short for the back.

So that's pretty much what I'm working on now.  I didn't do totals for last month and goals for this one, because I was just far too busy last month to get much done...and school starts soon, so who knows what that will do to my free time?

Anyway, pics of new projects coming. I promise!

PS - Comments totally welcome. I've been told that people enjoy reading it, but comments help me believe you :-P

Eu me sincronizei com o Universo, aprendi a aceitar meu ritmo e o dos outros. Passei a compreender que tudo tem o seu momento e que se não veio, é porque não estou pronta.

Aprendi que não existem erros quando se segue o coração. Que não podemos depender de matéria para sermos felizes, seja ela $, objetos, situações, pessoas,... Só nós somos responsáveis pela nossa felicidade.

Aprendi a não ser ou fazer algo só para atender as expectativas dos outros. Que ninguém é perfeito e o erro é parte importante do caminho. Compreender a si mesmo é aprender a respeitar os demais.

Estou tratando meus traumas mais profundo e antigos, me libertando de laços e pensamentos destrutivos. Enfim, é muita coisa para colocar aqui...

Então estou em dívida, porque tudo de bom que tem acontecido, não tem sido noticiado ou mesmo creditado. Essa pessoa aqui é a responsável por tudo isso. Tem um pouco de mim, mas é mais 60/40 para ela... :D

Se você puder, procure na sua cidade um terapeuta com as mesmas especialidades, porque ele vai te ajudar tanto quanto a Denise me ajudou. Pode não ser indolor, mas o resultado é garantido.

Outro site muito legal (onde encontrei minha anja!).

Site do Espaço onde ela trabalha.

De, te adoro! Bjs

Dr Terence Sinton said Deborah Melville would have been in "excruciating pain'' before she went into cardiac arrest, lying in the dirt backyard of her Palmerston home on July 12 last year.

A post-mortem examination found septicemia was the reason for the heart attack, caused by osteomyelitis, or a bone infection, stemming from a fracture in her thigh.

Sisters Toni Melville, 43, and Denise Reynolds, 42, have been charged with the manslaughter of their niece after they failed to seek medical treatment.

Defence Lawyer Jon Tippett QC told the Northern Territory Supreme Court in Darwin today infections could have "atypical'' presentations. (news)

We met the rest of our team in the lobby at 5am, and were boarding the bus for a departure time of 5:15.  It was dark.  It didn't feel so cold right then.  We commented that it even felt warmer than Saturday's short run.  That thought lived only as long as the bus ride, however.  We were deposited at the Cuvaison winery, at the bottom of the hill on Duhig Road, and as soon as we got off the bus, the shivering started.  Fog somewhat covered the area, and the sun was nowhere to be seen.  It was 6:15am.  We had 45 minutes until the race would begin.

We walked around, checked our gear bags, tried to warm up.  Luckily for me, the intestinal distress that had kept me awake Saturday night seemed to have passed.  Denise and I each had a bit of coffee, and made our way back down towards the starting line.  We met up with Joe and Joy, and our coach Melissa, and chatted with them for a while.  Time was getting close, so we headed toward the back of the pack.  Fred joined us, and also Jody. 

We were off!  Not as a big rush, being towards the back, but we were moving.  The start was on the winery, and the route took a left turn up the entire hill.  We joked that we'd be warmed up and the cold would be forgotten by the time we reached the top.  After that, there wasn't much joking.  Denise and I kept an even 9/1 interval going, running 9 minutes and walking 1, after the first straight 10 minutes.  It's pretty uneventful for the first hour or so, we were feeling good, keeping close to 12 minute miles (or faster) without much trouble. 

We passed the 12K finish, and crossed Highway 12.  It was shortly after that point though that I started having trouble.  An injury that had bothered me about a month ago, which I thought was just a fluke, clearly wasn't.  My right groin muscle wasn't on board with this half marathon business, and it was letting me know.  I kept on with Denise for a while, at one point reassuring her that I was right behind her, and "don't worry about me, I'm here!"  And then, I wasn't.  I let her run on, keeping on with the interval, and I walked.  She was doing so well, I wasn't going to hold her back.

I was hurting.  Even though it was only three days ago, the pain is hard for me to recall, to describe.  Every step though, I knew something wasn't good.  And though the throbbing down my thigh hurt, the disappointment I was feeling in myself, the goal of 2:30 slipping away from me with each walking step, that was what hurt worse, I think. 

I tried to run intervals still, short ones.  Basically, it went like this:  Run for as long as you can stand it, then walk.  Rinse, repeat.  I cried out a couple times, pushing through it.  For brief moments, I thought I might not be able to finish.  But there was no way I was going to approach someone at a water station to suggest it.  I was hoping Coach Melissa would come by, so I could ask her about it, but I think by that time I was so far along in the course ( past mile 10) that she was probably back, encouraging others who were not as advanced in the mileage.  Though tempted to walk the rest of the way, I became determined hold on to my last goal, to beat my time in the 2007 race, 3:07:xx.  I was determined to come in under 3 hours.

Finally, I reached the bike path, that signalled less than a mile to go.  I continued with my sad intervals.  People cheering, calling my name (it was on my bib), you would think that would encourage me.  I felt unworthy because I wasn't running, or running fast enough for my taste.  Sick, isn't it?  I choked back my tears, thankful for my sunglasses on this overcast day.

Off the bike path, left on to MacArthur.  Run 30 to 60 seconds, walk forever, it feels like.  I can see Broadway ahead.  One right turn, and I'm on the final, torturous stretch.  Run, walk.  Where's that 13th mile marker?  Run, walk.  Lots of spectators now, cheering for the woman in the Team Challenge singlet.  There are 510 Team Challenge participants in this race, and I'm one of them.  Run, walk.  There's the 13!

Finally, I can see the finish line, the banners, the clock.  I can see the blue carpets that cover the timing chip sensors.  I took one final walk break, and then began my push to run over that finish line.  I owed it to myself to not stroll in like I was out for an evening constitutional.  Looking at the race photos now, I can see the tension in my shoulders, the grimace on my face.  The only thing I see is that blue carpet, and the only thing I hear is the announcer calling out my name to the crowd, telling the world (or at least the folks in Sonoma town square that day) that I was finishinig for Team Challenge, Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America, in two hours and fifty-seven minutes.  (That's gun time.  Chip time, I finished in 2:54:59.2.)

Kids were cutting off timing chips, and I had to lift my right foot onto a milk crate to get mine cut off.  I literally had to pick up my leg.  I managed to keep it together (mostly) while I proceeded through the finishing area, picked up my medal, and was going to the recovery tent when I saw and heard Denise calling to me, taking my picture, so happy and proud of me for finishing!  I burst into tears though, the weight of the pain and the disappointment finally rushing out.  It was then she realized that my tears weren't joyous ones, and she cried with me.  She also stopped taking pictures, bless her heart. :)

She helped me get through the recovery tent, and we started for the Team Challenge tent so I could check in there.  A TC gal came over, and asked if I needed ice.  I admitted that I did, and moved to go with her to get it.  One look at my face though, and she quickly told me to stay where I was, and she'd be right back with it.  I must have had quite the wince going on! 

I was kind of limping around by this point.  Denise helped me get my gear bag, and I was able to ditch my running shoes and socks for my Keen Bali sandals.  I gave Denise the card I'd gotten together, with photocopies, drawings, traces, or faxes of hands - High 5's from our Hot Chicken Wings girlfriends who couldn't be with us in Sonoma that day.  This was Denise's first half marathon, first race at all, and we are all so proud of her - from all the training through to the end of the race, she worked hard every step of the way.  This made her cry!  These great accomplishments, they are emotional times.  These were good tears.

Joe and Joy came over, and each had one pain reliever, which they both willingly donated to me.  (Thanks, guys.  They definitely helped.)  We all found our way out of the finishers area, and decided to wait in line for complimentary massages.  The line was outrageous, but we waited.  The line was so long, in fact, that they closed it - after the people just behind us.  The massage tent was closing at noon, and they didn't want to turn anyone away.

I was so thankful when it was my turn.  I was so cold, due to the sun not really coming out, not moving around much due to the ... wait for it ... pain in my leg, and being soaked with sweat.  Great combo.  I had a heck of a time getting on to that massage table too.  Carrie (not you Carrie!) worked on my groin and leg, and she commented about the amount of pain it must be causing me.  I think she took pity on me and took some extra time, even though it was after noon.  She even had to help me sit up, to get off the table.  That was slightly embarrassing for me.  I can't even sit up on my own?  Yikes.

The massage was good though.  Denise commented that I was walking better afterwards, which was encouraging.  Everything around the square was shutting down then, so we stopped by the FRS tent so I could get some free samples (which I have yet to try, duh, but which also thankfully made it home intact in my checked luggage) before heading to the shuttle to take us back to the hotel.  A nap was in my near future, and I needed the rest.

More later.

Our recent Name of the Day post on Etienne suggests that there's little hope of a revival for most French-flavored boys' names, at least in the first spot.  But how about the girls?

Read on for a discussion of past French names in favor in the US, and some très chic, très français ideas for a nom de fille today.

Vivienne is, of course, likely to re-enter the Top 1000 in the next year or two.  But parents have been borrowing inspiration from the ever so fashionable French for generations.  These Top 100 monikers al charted between 1880 and 1939:

• Blanche
• Elaine
• Genevieve
• Jacqueline
• Josephine
• Louise
• Lucille
• Marguerite
• Pauline

Most remained in use, and many climbed the charts during the Baby Boom.  They were joined by:

• Diane
• Joanne
• Michelle
• Renee
• Suzanne
• Valerie

Modern mamas might wear one of these names, but other French-inspired favorites from 1970 onwards include:

• Danielle
• Denise
• Nicole
• Stephanie

And current classrooms are filled with girls called:

• Claire
• Gabrielle, the given name of Coco Chanel
• Madeline, and the even more deliciously French Madeleine

So what's next, besides Vivienne?  Here are a few to watch:

• Solange, a French shepherdess who became a saint back in the 9th century.  Currently unranked in the US.  The name derives from the Latin term for "religious," and some are tempted to break this down to sol - sun - and ange - angel - though that's etymologically incorrect.
• Chantal, a place name and saint's surname that gets some lift from her similarity to chant, the French word for song.  Plus, this choice is far more subtle than naming your daughter Chanel.  While Chantal did not rank in the US Top 1000 last year, Chanel came in at #879.  Don't go there!
• Severine, pronounced say vuh REEN, this name comes from an old Latin family name, Severinus.  While Severus might be a bit too Harry Potter for your son, this is an interesting feminization of a rarely heard name.  She's unranked in the US.
• Genevieve, the patron saint of Paris has seen her name rise in popularity in earlier generations.  Today she stands at a familiar, but not terribly common #344.
• Celeste, like Genevieve, she's quite familiar, but reasonably underused at #354.
• Oceane, yup, the French world is not immune to the lure of nature names.  We love the sound of this one - o say AHN - but fear she'd have to answer to plain old Ocean.  Neither is in the Top 1000 here, but Oceane is big on the other side of the sea, and in Quebec.
• Francoise, the French feminine form of Francis seems like a long shot at first, and indeed she's not in the US Top 1000.  But with the Italian Francesca at #477 and the throwback Frances at #825, it's an interesting option with the exotic pronunciation frahn SWAHZ.  Plus, it literally means "from France."
• Mireille, the heroine of Pierre Capretz' French in Action series, she's taught countless American students to parlez français.  While the spelling is tricky, the sound - mee RAY - is appealing and simple.  She was unranked as of 2007.
• Anais, a well known option thanks to writer Anais Nin, this variant of Anna is pronounced ah nah EES, thought we've met a modern bearer of the name who pared it down to ah NEES, which seems easier to wear.  She ranked #906 in 2007.
• Josephine, one of the earlier Gallic imports, she's back in a big way among the fashionable and today stands at #224.  It's impossible to say her name without thinking of Napoleon.
• Lilou, a white hot French moniker related to Lily and Liliane.  Pronounced LEE loo, she's unranked in the US.  We think she's a bit too flimsy to bestow independently, but could be a fabulous nickname alternative for Lillian.
• Maelys, another current favorite in the Francophone world.  It's a feminization of Mael, a 5th century Breton saint.  The sound - MAH eh liss - is tricky in English, and she's unranked in the US.  Maelle - MAH el - is also sometimes heard.
• Eulalie, the French version of Eulalia, yet another saint, has an engaging, spirited feel and offers the nickname Lally.  She's unranked in the US.
• Capucine, actually a botanical choice, referring to the nasturtium.  In the US, she'd inevitably be confused for a cup of strong coffee with frothy milk.  It's also doubtful that the sound - kah pu SEEN - would be easily embraced.  But it's an interesting floral-flair option, especially for the middle spot.  Capucine is unranked in the US.
• Elodie, one that works in English!  The mellifluous Elodie is - what else - a saint's name, more commonly written as Alodia.  She's unranked in the US, but thanks to the easy nickname option Ellie, wouldn't be too much for an American girl to wear.
• Sidonie, a name that would almost inevitably be confused with Sidney, is actually based on an old Latin name referring to the city of Sidon, in Phoenicia.  Despite her similarity to the two-syllable gender-spanning choice, we think Sidonie could work.  She's unranked in the US.
• Noemie, a French twist on Naomi, strikes us as one of the most appealing possibilities on our list.  We've also seen Noemi, but the "ie" ending makes this a smidge more distinct than her familiar cousin.  Technically, she's no ay MEE, but we'd favor a toned-down sound for the States - no eh MEE.  Noemie is unranked in the US, but Noemi charts at #636.
• Salome, a well-known Biblical bad girl, this moniker is redeemed by the presence of a second Salome in the New Testament.  (Salome #2 witnesses the crucifixion.)  Plus, her name derives from the Hebrew word shalom, or peace.  The sound - sah LO may - is distinctive, interesting, and yes, French.  Or at least popular in France.  Salome is unranked in the US.

Throughout our list, you'll note that we've declined to use diacritical marks, though we've preserved the pronunciations as intended in French, unless otherwise noted.  Why?  Any maman considering a French appellation for her darling daughter should know that the umlaut, cedilla and other accents are not acknowledged in American English.  They won't appear on her birth certificate or most other identifying documents.

Some names suffer without them - it's tough to tell if Oceane is French-fried or simply misspelled.  Others fare just fine.  It's one more thing to consider when considering these pretty, but perhaps tongue-challenging, appellations.