That has gotta hurt. Seriously, what runs through peoples minds? I can't sing & I can't really play any instruments. But if I make sounds of throwing up into a microphone and try my best to eat it, someone out there is bound to like it!

Which brings me to my next point. People that like screamo. I'll be honest, a bit of it in the right kinda song can sound cool, but then you get bands that have albums & albums of the stuff. I mean, sure it saves on rehearsal time but why would you want to listen to all of it?

Looking at that guy's shirt reminds me of a customer I had earlier. Why is it I kinda like cultural African dress sense?

Don't get me wrong, I think it looks absolutely ridiculous. I think the guy on the left agrees with me. But there's no denying the idea that it looks comfortable. Once you get past the explosion of colour and interesting choice of headgear, you're left with what is essentially a glorified bedsheet.

The guy I served earlier had a green one and I'll be honest, he looked like an out-of-place Christmas tree. A very comfortable spruce, but still, I just wanted to layer him with tinsel and put a star on his head.

One last point on the Dashiki (that's what those robes are called, see - educational blog this, you're learning things :P), if you are going to wear one, don't wear it with black shoes. You've broken enough fashion boundaries by leaving the house in your ancestor's pyjamas, no need to wear his shoes too.

See now eskimos, there's a culture that knows how to dress!

With that said, fuck a Master's Degree. One of the most annoying things about black people is that many of us, as soon as we break the Bachelor's Degree barrier, become shamelessly full of ourselves. Ever met a black person with a Master's degree in philosophy, political science, social science, or any other discipline in that vein? IT'S FUCKING HORRIBLE.

You cannot have a conversation with these people unless it's about something socially or morally relevant. If you try to talk about pop culture, or television, or mountain biking, or anything that's actually fun, they'll look down their fucking debt-ridden noses at you like you're some irrelevant clod who "just doesn't get it."

Oftentimes, the newly minted Master of Bullshit will change his or her appearance - adopting dashikis and wearing their hair naturally* are two of their favorite choices. Immediately following this, they will start distinguishing themselves from other black people in conversation - referring to themselves as 'educated' black people (much in the same way that white people distinguish themselves from rednecks, Asians from FOBs, etc.). Then it's only a matter of time before they're participating in Poetry Slams, shopping at Farmer's Markets, and formulating the image of their ideal mates based on TV shows like 'Girlfriends'...and the transformation from 'educated black person' to 'insufferable douchebag' is rendered complete.

Figure 1: They think they're better than you

To intercept the educated black people who will probably begin hating on me immediately: no, I am not some ignorant fucking thug who's writing this blog because I stole your computer. I am not a person 'on the outside looking in', who is just angry because he can't be like you. I have a bachelor's degree from a well-respected school and graduated in the top 10% of my class with a real degree (Computer Science), and I did it in a scant 7 semesters. English and Philosophy majors paid ME to tutor THEM in classes in their own majors. Goddammit I hate the liberal arts...I'm getting off topic.

One of the things I hate about attending conferences is the inevitability of meeting these damn people. If I could trade the 'networking' part of these events for a good 4 hours of being waterboarded, I'd jump at the opportunity. But since that's never an option, they will see me dressed well with my hair cut and perhaps speaking Edubonics**, then assume that I, like them, am just waiting to wax knowingly about the political issues of the day. I'll usually be polite and indulge them, but the truth of the matter is that I'd much rather share a good fart joke than my opinion on the humanitarian crisis in Kenya. Being an engineer by training, practicality is a big deal to me - and to that end, a fart joke is far more relevant (I fart all the time, and frequently enjoy the farts of others) than Kenya (which doesn't affect me at all).

But somehow, because I wanna talk about flatulence instead of Africa, I'm not as good as Mr. or Ms. Master's Degree. Yea? Well to that, I offer Figure 2 in closing:

Figure 2: Has 3x my education and 1/3 my income

*I'm a big fan of natural hair on a black woman, but not when you use it as a symbol of your megalomania

** The King's English peppered with sayings like "go 'head!" and "no doubt" that are distinctly black but fall short of being off-putting to white people. Black people use Edubonics to prevent being labeled an Uncle Tom while asserting their intelligence