Again an article by Tina b Tessina

What's Behind the Trend of Women Dating Younger Men?

There appears to be a trend of older women dating younger men, notably illustrated by celebrity couples including Demi Moore and Aston Kutcher, Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry, and the most recent fling between 48-year-old Linda Hogan and 19-year-old Charlie Hill (that one is a bit weird!).

According to a study of 50,000 women daters over 30, conducted by an online dating site in 2007, more than one-third of the subjects showed interest in men at least 5 years younger. And in 2003, an AARP survey revealed 34 percent of 3,500 women (between ages 40 and 69) dated men who are 10 or more years younger than themselves. This trend appears to be shocking to some people, but I don't find it so unusual.

Socially, there's a role reversal of sorts going on, women are more powerful now than ever before and may want men who are younger, and perhaps, more flexible; men who can handle it if the woman's career and lifestyle takes priority over their own. Media portrayals in "Sex and the City" (like movie characters Smith Jerrod and Samantha Jones) and "Desperate Housewives" are also showing women that dates don't have to be older. Women who have high-powered careers -- or a well-developed self-image -- are exercising more choice. Women who have been divorced and are established single moms may enjoy having a playmate, someone to have fun with; who doesn't try to control her.
Can these older woman/younger man relationships last?

In my counseling office, I have seen many relationships succeed with this kind of older woman/younger man scenario.

“The media focuses on the age difference, but what really makes or breaks the relationship is how well the couple can form a partnership that works”

Age difference is an adolescent worry: When you're a teenager, an age difference of even two or three years makes a vast difference in your experience and your outlook on life. Such a difference can interfere with communication, life goals, outlook, and relationship experience. In addition, for the young, the social reaction to such a relationship is often negative. If one partner is underage, a sexual relationship is even against the law.

But, as you get older, life experience and emotional growth help to equalize your relationship skills and resources. A 10-year or more difference in your ages makes little difference in how well you can conduct your relationship.

Don't focus on an arbitrary numbers difference in your ages. If you are getting along, you have good communication and problem solving, and you love each other, that's a precious thing, and far more important than any age difference could be. If other people have a problem with it, let it be their problem.

Whether or not a relationship is healthy is not determined by age differences, but by the interaction between the partners. A 10-year difference is not too difficult to bridge, but a 20-year differences or more in age can lead to some difficulties as the partners get older. For example, the younger partner may mature and reconsider his or her choices, or an older partner may confront aging problems much sooner. But, as long as both parties are adult, and the couple has talked about their age difference and the future possibilities, I don't make judgments about their respective ages.

Dealing with the generation gap

There are healthy and unhealthy reasons to date someone of a different generation.

One inappropriate motivation for dating a younger person is fear of aging on the older person's part. A younger partner isn't going to reverse the aging process or protect you from old age. Obviously, a man or woman who dates someone as young as his or her children is going to run into some social opposition, but the differences that can cause the biggest problems within the couple's relationship are differing maturity levels.

As more and more women choose younger partners for relationships, the question arises: Are women in their late 30s and early 40s likely to be successful with partners who are 10 to 15 years younger than themselves?

Success in these relationships depends on what the motivations of both people are. Some older people feel younger at heart than their contemporaries and like to date people who are as active as they are. Chronological age doesn't always reflect either physical capability or emotional maturity. Sometimes an age difference creates a mentoring relationship the older person advises the younger one on life or career. This can backfire if and when the younger person decides he or she has learned enough, and wants to move on.

If you're asking: "Is it OK for me to have a partner who is much older or younger than I am?" You'll do better off if you forget about your ages and concentrate on whether the relationship works for both of you, or not. What really makes a romantic relationship succeed is the emotional connection.

Well I have done both of these, so no matter how much of a good person I am

Society damns me to hell anyway...LOL!

Doubt they would and trust me if anyone wants to take me to hell i will be kicking and fighting before i get there...

Dating older women is a interesting experience, I usually date older women but at the moment I am gladly single but as I am getting older, younger woman's personalities interest me and are quite exciting to be around.

You would think I am in my 30's talking like this but I am only just into my Mid 20's...

A valid lesson I learnt from dating an older woman ( I was 23 she was 40 (but trust me a lot of my friends met her and were shocked..) this was how you can be appreciated and how in the future how your life could pan out.

Our conversations and dates were amazingly interesting but the problem dating someone a lot or generally older is your forward thinking starts getting in the way..

Unfortunately like I said before the person, I was going out with a woman who was getting divorced and the other party was shall I say "Not Happy' about our relationship, the reason they were divorcing was due to an affair, which in essence till the divorce papers were signed both parties were on equal points, I even discussed the issue with both parties, however now the two of them never got divorced and have lots of activity outside their marriage.

Good for them, but not for me, it is too emotionally heartbreaking, they have kept together because of children..

Bad excuse but reasons can out supply the means

Anyway here is an article by Tina B. Tessina of what to do in dating an older woman and advice, which is pretty sound and her comments are very good advice, and most I stuck to believe it or not in my experience.

Comments Please will be respected...

The reasons why some men date older women are as varied as the women themselves.

These women, because of their experience, often have more wisdom and self-assurance than younger women -- perhaps they may also possess more self-reliance and tolerance.

“Some men receive mentoring from older women, who have had more relationship experience and often understand men well.”

Some men receive mentoring from older women, who have had more relationship experience and often understand men well. Clearer about who they are and what they want, "older women" may even have an advantage in the dating arena.

In some cases, having a relationship with an older woman may work for men who don't want children:
"My wife and I have been married for almost 20 years," says Rocco. "She was 53 and I was 41 when we met. We both shared many values, including our faith. Our children are grown up now, and mine love her. So, it's worked out very well. I tell men who have been divorced at least once to go for an older woman... If you find the right one, don't worry about age -- unless you still want more children."

A man who dates someone who has children his age will run into the occassional social opposition. But there are men (like Ben, 25, who is dating a 45-year-old woman) who can overcome resistance. Ben says:

"A woman can be 25 and marry a man of 45 or 55 and, hey, whatever. Traditionally, it's been ingrained in our psyches... that's the way it goes, but not the other way around. We've always known that age may be an issue. But now that we've been together for a while, I have a new perspective.

Not all men are comfortable dating older women. Some men, like Clyde, worry about the future. Clyde says:
"I dated a woman who is 15 years older. We dated for a bit and then settled into just enjoying each others company. She has a fit body and is an attractive woman. People said to me, why don't I commit to her if we enjoy each other's company? I told them I worried about how things would feel in 10 years when she's over 60 and I'm in my 40s... And then further down the years."

Through my experience as a therapist and marriage counselor, age difference isn't as important in a relationship as most people think. What counts is whether a couple can create a working partnership and build an enjoyable life together. So, for you men who've fallen head-over-heels in love with an older woman, I've developed nine tips on how to enjoy your newly found romance:

1. Be a gentleman. An older woman wants to be treated with respect, like any woman does. While she might attracted to your rebelliousness or youthful attitude, she still wants you to treat her with good manners.
2. Don't get ahead of yourself. Don't worry about the future until you actually might have one. Take your time and allow the relationship to develop.
3. Stay calm. You may be excited, but don't overdo it. Have fun and enjoy your dates, but don't come on too strong. She has some reservations, too.
4. Be charming. Don't underestimate how powerful your smile can be. Use it often, make eye contact, and keep the conversation flowing. Pay attention to what interests you about your date, and show interest in her opinions, experiences, and activities. Be complementary whenever possible, and respond intelligently to whatever she says.
5. Don't focus on looks.
“Give complements, but focus less on her physical appearance -- she may be anxious about it.”
Give complements, but focus less on her physical appearance -- she may be anxious about it. And even if you're complementary, she may worry that you're too focused on looks. She wants to be appreciated for who she is, including her intellect and style. Compliments like "That color is lovely on you," or "You look great tonight" are safer than "You're in great shape."
6. Have fun. Keep your dates simple and have a good time. Focus on being pleasant, and not getting too far ahead of the relationship. Refrain from talking too long about any one subject without inviting a comment from your date.
7. Keep conversation interesting and light. Feel free to talk about anything, including your personal lives, past relationships, and love in general, but don't be the one who brings up the intimate topics first. Be wary of prying too deeply into her private life and secrets, unless the information is voluntarily offered.
8. Avoid talking too much about yourself. Keep your focus on learning about your date. Dole out the boring information about yourself. Punctuate your conversation with questions: "What do you think?" "Has it been that way for you?"
9. Pay attention! Listen to answers to your questions. You have things to learn here! Seek to get to know each other better. No matter how thrilled you may be about her, listening to what she says, watching what she does, and understanding how she feels are the most important things you can do.

About the article writer

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., of www.tinatessina.com is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in Long Beach, Calif. since 1978 and author of 13 books in 14 languages, including "The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again." She has two new books from Adams Press in 2008: "Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage" and "The Commuter Marriage". She publishes the "Happiness Tips from Tina" e-mail newsletter, and the "Dr. Romance" Blog. She has written and been interviewed for many national publications, including Cosmopolitan, Maxim, and TimeOnline.com. Online, she's known as "The Dating Doctor" and "Doctor Romance" and is a Redbook Love Network expert as well as for Yahoo! Personals.

       Many of the parents who receive child support and have custody of their children say, why should they have to pay an annual fee?  After all, it is costly to raise children; and, if one parent is not paying their share of the support, it is even more financially difficult, for the parent who has custody, to make ends meet.  Ultimately, it is the children who suffer for lack of proper support...both physically and emotionally from the abandonment of the deadbeat parent. 

          Both men and women are guilty of leaving their children in a poverty position by not paying child support.  It is an emotional issue.  Many parents who are no longer together mistakenly think of the money as "being given to the other parent"; that money is needed to support those children.  It is to be spent on the needs of the children.  That means a roof over their head, food to eat, clothes to wear, providing them an education, medical insurance...all of the necessities in life. 

         The child support can't be thought of in terms of supporting the custodial parent...it has to go, to that parent, to support the children.  If the needs of the children aren't being provided for...that is when authorities need to be brought in to assess the situation.  But, really, the child support should not be used as a weapon against the other parent; see it as a responsibility to the child/children.

       From the news report I heard, the government has been able to round up quite a few delinquent parents; and, has been able to restore about a billion dollars in back child support.  They do this by taking their income tax returns or lottery winnings...or in many cases...garnishing their wages.  That billion dollar amount is astounding.   If paying an annual fee helps to offset the money it takes to find these parents who don't pay child support and it makes them financially accountable to help provide for their children...maybe it is a small price to pay.  Why couldn't the system repay the custodial parent the money out of the funds they recover from the deadbeat parent; after they find them and garnish their wages?

      I know, I know...there are some that disappear again after they are found; they will quit their job, so that they don't have to pay until the next time they get caught.  The only way to change that is to hit them where they hurt...take away their freedom.  If they skip out after being found...they should automatically do jail time; and maybe, some kind of work program while they are incarcerated; while the earnings go to the children.  :)

        A commitment to support the children that we bring into the world should be encouraged in a way that helps to provide not only money to the children but a real presence in the lives of the children.  Kids have emotional needs that don't get met when a parent checks out on them.  The damage can last a lifetime and affect future generations as well.  Parents must be held accountable; parenting isn't easy, but it is the most important thing you will ever do.

        What do you think about this issue of charging the fee?  Will it be helpful or harmful in the long run?

In 1976, Sanjay Gandhi launched a drive to cleanse the city of slums and force their residents to leave the capital. Sanjay reportedly ordered officials of the Delhi Development Authority, headed by his associate Jagmohan, to clear the heavily populated, mostly Muslim slum near the Turkman Gate and Jama Masjid in Delhi. This forced resettlement of more than 250,000 people killed at least a dozen as recorded and became a touchstone for the opposition.

Sanjay also publicly initiated a widespread family planning program to limit population growth. But this resulted in government officials and police officers forcibly performing vasectomies in order to meet quotas and in some cases, sterilizing women as well. Officially, men with two children or more had to submit to sterilization, but many unmarried young men, political opponents and ignorant, poor men were also believed to have been sterilized. This program is still remembered and criticized in India, and is blamed for creating a public aversion to family planning, which hampered Government programmes for decades.

-Aditya Raghuwanshi

I feel a lot better this morning than I did last night. I have been railing hard against a wild flood of intrusive thoughts, images, and memories. I'm not sure why there have been so many triggers as of late, but it is what it is. I'm not sure I'll ever be okay with the things that happened in my past. I suppose the struggle is learning how to let it go.

One of the things I find myself praying to let go of in my life is the resentment I hold over having apologized for the wrongs I committed, yet having received none in return. Even still, I'm not sure that -at this place in time- an apology will do anything. I'm sure that my heart is just as hard as those whom I have been hurt by; and whom I am certain I have likewise hurt. Maybe I'm so angry because I feel the only one required to confess to my wrongs, my pride, my faults.

I think -if I'm to be honest with myself in this moment- that I am scared of what it might mean if I really let everything go. Does it justify what happened? Does it make the statement that what went wrong was okay? Is it a denial of everything I have claimed? I really do stand by everything I have claimed.

I really am sick over this. Christian music is hard to listen to, Christian movies and books are a burden, even Christian art is hard to look at because I don't see what is being put out; instead I hear the cruel words, the unfair judgements, and that damn cross shaped box that I was made to feel guilty over because I could not fit inside.

Lord, Father, teach me to let go.

I guess one of the burdens I bear that keeps all this crap anchored in place is holding to the non-denominational Christian title. I mean that alone has done so much damage. Vague and confusing doctrine and theology. Fly by the seat of your pants spirituality. Uncertain beliefs. It has been a vex on my spirit. It is not to say that "non-denominational" doesn't have a place, it is just that it doesn't have a place with me.

Likewise, though I love Calvary Chapel Poulsbo with all my heart, and they will forever remain my home church, and will be the church I will call home if I find myself back in Washington, Calvary Chapel in general is not for me. The Calvary Chapel Distinctives written by Chuck Smith is filled with so much garbage and heresy that I feel that Calvary Chapel itself is not a healthy place for me to associate with. There are too many elements of personal infallibility, and a lot of dishonesty. Accountability is questionable at best within the parent structure, and the Moses Model, really? If this is what the founder is filtering down into his churches, then that is a place that I need to steer clear of.

It takes a lot to say that. I have heard so many times -in not so blatant a statement- if it ain't us, then it is weird or sin. I bought into that line of thought for years. I was convinced that if it wasn't Calvary Chapel then it wasn't a truly Christian church. I was convinced that Calvary Chapel was to be the lead in all of Christendom, but that all was shattered with the things I have learned of our founder, our movement, etc.

There are some great Calvary Chapel churches out there; don't get me wrong. I am certain that there must be more like the one I called home. It is just with the things I have learned, seen, heard, experienced, read, researched, I know that it is not the place for me.

I've said it. I never thought I would be able to find the strength to say it, but I said it.

So I move on from here. If there are questions or challenges to what I have said, please feel free to question. I don't mean to harm anyone. I am at a crossroad that must be dealt with and it has taken a long time to get here.

"Mike, did you sleep here last night?" Jerry asked as he strolled up to Mike's desk.

"I tried, but didn't get much sleep," he replied, his eyes burning.

Jerry furrowed his brow. "Mike that's not a good thing..."

"What isn't?"

"Hanging around here all night."

"Yeah," Mike dismissed the junior detective quickly with a half-hearted wave. "Know what I think is weird? Melissa Anson didn't attend a parochial school."

Jerry saw that the discussion about Mike's late nights was now over. "So?"

"Why was she wearing the Catholic school get-up?" Mike asked.

Jerry shrugged.

"I think there's some connection between the location and what she was wearing."

"What, like some whacko dressing up his victims before he rapes and strangles 'em?"

"Maybe."

"I don't know Mike. Why would the guy leave these clothes on her? That's all possible evidence."

"So's DNA. But..." Mike stared into space for moment then glanced back at Jerry. "Do you think the clothes were hers."

Eyebrows raised, Jerry shot back. "What's 'at mean, Mike?"

"She's done this before..."

"Oh, come on. A thirteen-year-old whore playing what... to the pedophile crowd?" Mike stared at Jerry unblinking. "Go home, Joseph and get some rest. You're raving." Jerry swung his head from side to side as he spoke sarcastically.

"Odds are against it Jerry, but it makes more sense than anything else we've seen." There was a long pause before Jerry put his thumb to his upper lip to ponder Mike's idea.

"I gotta check out the school." Jerry blurted out, at last.

Mike stood and swung his coat on.

"I need to visit the Anson house. I'll bring a couple lab guys with me."

"Bring a computer nerd," Jerry added with a slow nod. "Every kid's got a computer now."

"Yeah." Mike was already dialing the phone.

There would be no investigation at the Anson residence that day. The dead girl's mother, Lydia, explained that family and friends had descended on the Anson's to offer condolences and renew familial bonds. The moment he heard her words Mike felt foolish. He should have realized there would have been a gathering at the Anson's. The emotional detachment he had cultivated to protect himself was creating a schism between himself and humanity and it reared up like a venomous snake during their conversation, catching Mike off guard.

The following day was a Saturday but Mike was able to find two lab technicians willing to come for a thorough search of the girl's room. Mike asked the mother to keep guests out of the girl's room until the police could complete an investigation. Even with his emotional shields in place Mike felt callus asking for Lydia Anson's cooperation on this point.

*****

Early that next morning Mike stood in the doorway of his old house waiting for his daughter. When the door swung wide Mike's ex-wife did not speak to him, but instead yelled over her shoulder to their only child and plodded away from the open door.

Their life together had been filled with inside jokes and stolen glances. Separated in a crowded room they were still together, casting smiles and secret signals between each other while they pretended to be interested in someone else's conversation. This shared intensity made his separation from her more difficult.

His favorite family photograph, the one that sat propped up on the edge of his desk, was one a friend took at a beach outing. Mike was lying on a blanket with Prudence, then only two years old, on his chest and Cynthia nestled into the hollow of his shoulder. The entire family was deep in slumber on a warm sunny day. He never even knew the photo was taken until his friend offered him an enlargement. To Mike, that was the defining moment in their marriage. But the pressures of being married to a policeman had pushed Cynthia too far.

Prudence brushed passed him, in a hurry, towards his car.

"Hi daddy, where we goin' today?" She asked in rush.

Mike sighed and trotted to catch up as she leaped through the passenger's side door .

Sliding into the driver's seat Mike struggled for the words to express his regrets.

"Actually, I can't take you anywhere, today." Mike twisted the rubbery coating of the steering wheel in his grasp. He hated hearing those words as much as he hated saying them.

His young daughter leaned forward, her face turned towards him. "Last weekend, you didn't want me to leave..."

"I know, I know. I've got a new case that's got me working overtime and..." Mike let his words drift off while he continued to stare straight ahead.

There was a long silence before Prudence spoke.

"The other day I asked mom if she loved you."

Mike felt his eyes clamp shut before he could catch himself. His chest fell heavily before he opened his eyes again to stare through the windshield.

"She said when you guys were first together her heart would jump when she saw you."

Mike swallowed and licked his lips slowly while his daughter continued.

"And she said she knew you loved her... but you loved bein' a cop more and she wouldn't take second place to anyone or anything."

"Yeah, it was pretty tough on her." Mike whispered.

"What was?"

Turning, at last, Mike smiled weakly at the girl. "Me, being a cop."

"No... she said it was you 'being a good cop'… that was tough."

Mike opened his mouth to speak but no words came out and he turned his gaze towards the emblem at the center of steering wheel in hopes of some comforting sign. He found none. Prudence went on.

"She said to be a good cop you had to give up everything else. Does that include me?"

"No, honey," Mike spun back towards his daughter throwing an arm around her pulling her close. The sniffles he heard from his daughter tore at him. "No, Prudence. Never." Mike squeezed her tighter. "It's just this case is really bad and I have to take care of it, myself."

Wresting him to arm's length Prudence let Mike know she was not about to take second place to his career, either. He let go of her and she wiped her eyes quickly on the heel of palm. The car door flew open and before he could say another word and his daughter was out of the car sprinting back towards the house.

The front door opened as Prudence approached signaling Mike that his ex-wife had been watching from inside as father and daughter sat together. He cursed under his breath. It wasn't fair, he thought staring out the windshield again.

With the sound of the front slamming shut Mike started the car, threw it into gear and headed to the Anson house where he had arranged to meet with the forensic tech and a computer geek from the state police.

Mike delighted in leaving saucy notes throughout their home in places where he knew Cynthia would stumble across them at some future time. While on an evening patrol Mike swung by his house to surprise Cynthia, only to find her huddled in the dark kitchen crying. An "I love you" doodle left in between two dinner plates had set her into a teary jag. He remembered it clearly: trying to get back to the patrol car with his partner impatiently waiting inside, and Cynthia weeping as she clung to his sleeve. Between sobs she told him of her fear that she might find one of his notes after something bad had happened to him and the pain that carried with it. Their life together would never again be like it was in the photograph that sunny afternoon on the beach.

*****

The Anson house looked like all the others in their middle class neighborhood. All; two story row houses, well kept with immaculate dark green lawns the size of postage stamps. The middle class loves their lawns, Mike thought as he stepped out of the car and pulled his suit coat on. "Probably more than their kids," he muttered under his breath.

The door bell was answered almost as soon as his finger rebounded from the button. Someone had been expecting him. Lydia Anson pulled the door open. A quick nod and then Mike squeazed past her noticing, as he did, that her eyes were a burnt red probably from many tear-filled hours. He assumed she wasn't cried out yet.

"Please, sit down," she offered with a sweeping open palm.

Mike wandered into the living room. It was bright and simple, without the accumulated clutter associated with an older couple. Mike could tell the approximate age of a couple by the amount clutter in a living room. As a couple grew together more items brought on some "magical" memory, a moment to be remembered with a simple memento. Mike's apartment contained nothing that could evoke memories save some leftovers in the refrigerator, left in a "to-go" bag, now sporting blue smudges of mold on the outside. He found it better not have reminders in his apartment of what he hoped would be the rest of his life.

"Can I get you something? Coffee?" Lydia dabbed at her nose with a tissue.

Mike forced a smile and shook his head.

Lydia fell into a chair across from Mike. "Okay," she started with a heavy sigh. "Where do you wanna start?"

Flipping open his notebook, Mike forced himself to look away from the woman's features. She was attractive, he realized. A petite woman, Lydia had delicate features and striking blond hair. A nervousness set loose several butterflies in Mike's stomach.

Concentrate, Mike he told himself. Married. She's married. And she's vulnerable. Get your head back into the game. The tickling sensation in his gut was banished to that place where Mike sent all his feelings. A place, he feared, that was becoming quite crowded.

"Misses Ans..." Mike caught himself. "I'm sorry, Lydia, right?" The woman nodded. "Let's start with the morning, day before yesterday, when you called the police."

"Um, we sat down for breakfast... myself and my husband Warren, and he asked me where Melissa was. I told him I thought she went to a friend's house after church. She does that sometimes. When I turned on the TV and saw the pictures..." The woman sucked her lips into her mouth to hold back her tears. She cleared her throat and continued in a wavering tone.

"Something hit me and I just felt panicky. Warren told me to call the police... just so I'd feel better. But..." Now the woman screwed her eyes shut sending tears streaming down her cheeks dragging a tiny rivulet of mascara in its wake. "I'm sorry," she whined turning her head away from Mike.

Mike sat silently listening to the weeping of a mother who had lost her only child. No psychology text books or classroom exercises could prepare a public servant for the grief that came attached to the profession. He wanted to reach out to her, to touch her shoulder, and give her warmth or some wizened words that she could cling to in her despair. He couldn't. He was like the doctor who needed to maintain a distance if he was to be effective as an investigator. That protocol cut him like a cold blade some days.

Instead Mike sat, reserved, searching the room for photographs or something that made a visable connection to the couple's dead child. No pictures were on the walls and Mike thought maybe there was some gallery in a hallway or another room. Someplace where the couple could chronicle their daughter's journey from childhood into adulthood, a journey that would never be completed.

Not being able to protect Mike while he carried on as a policeman, Cynthia became obsessive about their child. It became so frenzied that Mike requested the Police Department Psychiatrist intervene. The psychiatrist told the couple that Cynthia was over-compensating for her fears about Mike's safety and suggested Mike look into duty that was less dangerous. That same week Mike took the Detective's examination. His first attempt had been a trial run. The test was brand new—consolidating several different enforcement agencies' examinations, each adding questions—and the score needed for Mike to make the promotion list his first time eligible would have had to be near perfect.

New to it, Mike did enjoy the adrenaline rush he felt walking up to a car in the middle of the night, not knowing who or what waited inside. But he began to feel selfish. He was a cop but  also a father and a husband and he truly wanted to be good at all three.

Neither time nor repetition could inure a good cop to the pain that spilt over to touch even the hardest hearts. Mike blinked his eyes purposefully a couple of times to refocus on the questions he needed to ask in order to move forward with his investigation.

"I am so sorry..." Mike spoke haltingly, leaving his mouth open to continue but after a moment he could only sigh and snap his jaw shut.

Nodding her head, Lydia dabbed at her bloodshot eyes until the woman, at last, was able to swallow, take a deep breath, and continue.

"Normally Warren would've been on the road that night but one of his customers came to town. They went to dinner and he got home about 9:30 and went to bed about ten. I was right behind him. I never even thought to check..." Her voice rose up an octave. When she turned her head away, Mike began filling in his "physical characteristics" information. He scribbled a bit and then glanced back towards the woman.

Looking back to his pad again, Mike was surprised by the words he had written on the page. It seemed to him as though his fingers had scribbled her description without his control.

It started with the usual information: "5' 5" 110 lbs, blond, green..." Then as an addendum he noticed the words, "Pretty, button nose, petite."

Mike took a deep breath and let it out slowly before he turned his pencil over to rub out these last observations. Inside Mike was feeling like some idiotic love-struck teen. The last few months had been difficult for Mike; with his divorce becoming final and his feeling that he had lost his moorings to the "real" world.

Cynthia accused Mike of deliberately failing the exam so he could stay on patrol duty. Regardless of his true reasons, his wife was becoming manic by now. By the time he took the exam again it was too late. Cynthia was more detached from reality and was on a daily regimen of medication. In spite of this, Mike had now immersed himself in his new duties.

After a time Cynthia recovered, but their marriage did not. Half a year away from the daily stress of being a cop's wife and she was okay. Six months apart—calling it a trial separation—and six months together. Both stuck to their agreement, but it didn't take long for both of them to see going back to their old life was not an option. Living together again they both saw how far apart they had become.

Their marriage slipped farther away as Cynthia's composure returned. No more fits when someone cut her off on the freeway or tantrums in restaurants. Her life was coming back to normal: except she was no longer the wife of a cop. She professed her love for Mike on many occasions since their first split, crying to him, "I'm just not that keen on excitement."

Just as he began to erase the inappropriate descriptors he stopped himself, deciding against it. He knew enough about psychology and himself that leaving these words in place might work as a reminder that he needed to keep some detachment from anything in this case that might cloud his judgment. Now Mike circled the words repeatedly as he waited for the bereaved mother to gather herself and continue with the interview.

Muscling his "official" persona back to the surface, Mike pressed the woman to speak.

"Misses..." Mike stopped dead. The word "Lydia," underlined, his internal code for preferred title, danced above the page in front of his eyes. "Lydia?" he continued.

She sniffed and cleared her throat before she turned back to face Mike again. "I'm okay, now." Tears still tumbled down her cheeks but Mike saw the woman set her jaw, ready to soldier on.

"This is the hardest aspect of this job." A genuine feeling of empathy swept over him causing him to sit forward hoping to offer the woman some sign of comfort.

She pursed her lips and nodded quickly. "S'okay."

The ring of the door bell interrupted them.

The woman let the two lab techs in and led them to the girl's room. Mike nodded to them as they passed through the living room but remained seated waiting to finish his questioning of the dead girl's mother.

When she returned she sat diffidently across from Mike, her hands folded neatly in her lap.

Opening his mouth to speak Mike stopped and then furrowed his brow. "Where's your husband, today?"

"Oh, he'll be back in a little while. He had to go to the office for a couple of minutes... and send out some memos to let everybody know he would be out for a couple of weeks." She answered with a dismissive wave.

"He couldn't do that... over the phone?"

Lydia sighed heavily. "He... he needed some time. Some time... away from me, I think. Things... have been a little rough lately," she finished in rush.

"You mean, in your marriage?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I... gushed all over you at the hospital. I just needed a confessor and you bore the brunt of it." A trace of a chuckle tried to shine through her statement.

“Do you know the names of the people... uh, where she would spend the night after church?" Mike continued with his questions.

Lydia, sighed and nodded. Rising quickly she retreated to the kitchen returning with a small address book. Flipping it open she read off several names which Mike scribbled down in order to interview each.

"I wanted to ask you more about Melissa's trips with her father," Mike started. He paused for a long moment. "I visited my daughter today and... she wasn't happy about um... I couldn't stay."

Her lips pursed in a tight smile, Lydia nodded quickly. "That was one of the reasons we wanted Lydia to travel with, uh Warren. So there wouldn't be any... um... missed weekends or brief visits."

"Did she seem affected after any of these business trips?"

"What do you mean?"

Mike paused. "Did she seem unhappy or disturbed after any of these trips?" The ice was thin where Mike was pushing this line of questions and he knew he needed more than a modicum of tact when approaching a grieving mother about a possible sexual liaison between her husband and her daughter.

The woman glared at Mike and it made him uncomfortable but he could not leave this question unanswered.

"No." She snapped.

Mike turned his eyes back to his notebook to avoid her burning gaze. A sticky silence separated the two for a moment. He needed to continue his query but the woman's fiery stare burned his face and he found himself feeling uneasy.

"Um..." He started in an unsteady voice, but was interrupted by a call from the girl's bedroom.

“Hey, Mike," one of the men beckoned.

"Excuse me, Lydia." Mike shot out of his chair and hurried out of her sharpened stare.

The man held up a scarf-wrapped bundle. Flipping back the gaily flowered silk the held out the bundle for Mike to see. It was a neat stack of bills, a portrait of Benjamin Franklin sitting atop the pile.

"Holy shit," Mike muttered under his breath.

A thumb fanned along the corner of the stack revealing that all the bills were all one hundreds.

"How much, ya think?"

The man shrugged before he answered. "Maybe five k or more," he pronounced as he handed the stack over to Mike.

"Where was it?"

"In a pair of boots... Booty... ha, ha," The other man seated at the computer chuckled slightly. Mike felt the muscles in his jaw tighten.

"Knock it off, you two," Mike growled before he glanced over his shoulder towards the living room where he had left the dead girl's mother.

"Mike, I think this girl was hookin'," offered the man seated in front of the computer.

"Why?" Mike snapped.

"I found some pictures and something that looked like an ad for a..." The man shook his head. "Here, I'll read it. 'Catholic girl needs a ride home from school. Your car is warm and dry. 13 year-old girl looking for daddy with benefits. Front door safe. Lolita 69 at..."

"Stop it." Mike help up his open palm. Hearing those words twisted Mike's gut in knot. He sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger.

"There's also some pictures." The man at computer went on softly.

"Of what?" Mike asked in a sad tone.

"Looks like other girls who might've been doing... the same thing." The man clicked the mouse twice and an image appeared on the screen that made Mike cringe.

Mike stared at the electronic image labeled simply "Renee.jpg" for a long time. The diminutive girl in the photo couldn't have been more than fifteen years old with a mere wisp of pubic hair between her thin legs. She had a beguiling smile that begged for acceptance, reassurance, or possibly some show of kindness. There was a willingness in that face to do anything to please.

"Renee" had her tee-shirt hiked-up to her arm pits displaying to the world all her secrets. On the bunched shirt were the words: "Daddy's girl!"

"There's more of 'em in here," the man stated flatly

In a buried folder, labeled "them," on the dead girl's computer, images were found of young girls, all near Melissa's age and all in various states of undress. The faces of these young girls made Mike's chest feel as though a great weight were pressing down on him robbing him of breath.

Mike looked from the stack of one-hundred-dollar bills and back to the screen.

"I don't fucking believe this," he moaned shaking his head. The man seated in front of the computer turned to stare out the window while the other man let his gaze fall to the floor. Both the lab men knew Mike well enough to recognize the flame of anger in the chief detective's face. Anyone spotting that look knew better than to treat the situation lightly. Mike's reputation as a good cop was second to his reputation as a man who took the life and, sometimes, death struggles a cop deals with everyday, as serious business.

Mike squeezed his eyes shut and twisted the stack of bills in his grasp. Anger consumed the chief detective. This little girl died because she was willing to sell herself to a murderous pederast who could give her enough money to overlook the degradation, danger, and humiliation that rode shotgun with every female who bartered sexual favors.

"Mike. Mike!" A voice brought him back quickly. He snapped open his eyes.

The man seated at the computer pointed at Mike's hand, still clutching the wad of one-hundred-dollar bills. Mike's trembling hand had crushed the neat stack of bills in his rage.

"That's evidence, Mike." The man whispered.

A wave of embarrassment hit Mike when he realized the two men were watching him vent his internal rage. A rage against so many things. A rage against so many people. A rage at his impotence in the face of those same things and people.

"Sorry," Mike offered up meekly before he handed the money back to the man.

Spinning away to face the wall, Mike flipped open his cell phone hit a speed dial number.

Now I can easily understand how the cellist would be upset over the fact that his face has been printed on this book's cover without permission or notification, but what boggles my mind is that this man is accusing author, Steven Galloway, of stealing his story? Or as he puts it "my work, my, my sadness, my tragedy." I did not realize that life came with a copyright.

Back in 1992, cellist Vedran Smailovic, performed atop a pile of rubble for 22 days during the Bosnian conflict. Now I've seen some of these images before produced on posters and the like before. They are very beautiful, and the act was quite inspiring. So much so, that it continues to inspire and then along comes Steven Galloway's book.

What I take from this article is that Galloway treated the matter very respectfully in the physical writing. The cellist character appears only for the first five pages and never actually speaks. The rest of the novel is a fictional work focusing on three other characters. What Smailovic did was a public performance, live art. I can't see him receiving compensation for anything, unless he actually owned that photo that was used on the cover. As a performer isn't he technically a public figure?

My family lays in tatters now, and they have added to the fires unrebuked and unchastised. Unresolved demons I thought I could let go and let lay...the way they always taught...stir and grumble. You don't address the wrongs, you accept them, forgive, and pretend that nothing is wrong. Just like then, I find that I can't submit to such bastardization of Scripture for their convenience. Here there is serious sickness.

Personal infallibility can get us nowhere fast. We have all committed heinous acts in the name of pride. I believe he remained silent because he was scared of what could come if he opened his mouth and let the locus fly out. Like then, I can't fall in line with the training that was given...don't utter a word unless scripted, and what you say won't count unless we say you count lest you be a device of Division.

I'm so very sick over all of this. I'm really hurting over all of this. I'm really struggling over all of this. I feel as if I will never find resolution. I feel that nothing I say will ever be heard.

Perhaps the curse is that I'm not really ready to give up. Perhaps my love for them overwhelms my desire to just walk away and leave them to rot. White washed tombs, but if that is all they are, then why can I not leave the brood of vipers to their own toxicity?

I have been bitten,
O you snake and liar.
How your toxin
Courses through these veins.
How your sting pulses
Even after you have gone your way.

What confusion I have found.
What distrust I know!
What sickness festers in the bowels of my belly!
What visions melt away my sight!

Is this the God whom you have given me?
Is this the God whom you demanded I praise?
A god of confusion?
A god of idolatry?
A god of flesh and bone?

How are you so different from the priests
Who say only they can clearly hear God?
How are you so different from those
Who raise veils between men and God?
How are you so different from they
Who excuse sin for false piety and pride?

My heart aches and splinters!
My spirit cries out!
My prayers go out beseeching their redemption!
My life quakes at the heresy I have seen.

Why can I not let go!
Why do their voices
Scream and echo throughout my being?
Why do their faces
Haunt my every step?

O brood who praise in white washed tombs
Awaken to the Love of the LORD your God!
Harken your hearts to the sound of His Voice!
Shatter your icons, your idols, and your images!
Present yourselves broken before Him!
Let not your hearts be hardened!
Let not your ears be deaf!
Let not your eyes be given to blindness!

Be free of the bondage that binds!
Receive the revival of His Spirit!
Away with your false gods,
Away with your false masters!
Make way for the LORD your God
To whom alone recieves Glory and Honor.

Amen.

US set to overturn HIV travel ban

The US Senate has voted to overturn a rule banning HIV-positive visitors from entering the US.

The US is one of only a dozen countries - including Sudan, Saudi Arabia, Libya and Russia - that ban travel and immigration for HIV-positive people.

America's travel ban has been in force since 1987.

The provision lifting the ban was part of a bill granting some $50bn in funding for the fight against HIV/Aids throughout the world.

'Unwelcome mat'

The bipartisan effort to lift the ban has been spearheaded by Democratic Senator John Kerry and Republican Senator Gordon Smith.

"Our government still treats individuals with HIV/Aids as modern-day lepers, categorically banning these individuals from entering into the US," said Senator Smith.

"To fully embrace our global leadership on HIV/Aids, we must remove our unwelcome mat and overturn this ridiculous ban."

The bill, including the provision lifting the ban, will now go to a joint committee of the House of Representatives and the Senate, where any differences will be ironed out, before going to President George W Bush for approval.

President Bush has already indicated that he supports the bill.

Great quote today from Ben Feder:

technology is at a point where developers don't have to shock the audience to amaze the audience

(CC image by CarbonNYC)

民主主義であるのなら国会は必要ではないであろう。建国者は共和国のアメリカ合衆国を作った。当時、わざわざ民主主義として建国しなかった。その理由はほとんどの国民がうまく制御できないからである。

そのため国会を作りました。建国者が、憲法に義務のある国会議員が国を統制するシステムを決定した。現在のアメリカ合衆国が民主主義のために戦争を起こしているというが、実は我が国でも民主主義とのシステムを使っていないので、それは皮肉ではないか。

国民を１００％統制できているとすれば、それは無政府状態ということではないか。

• why sunglasses are good
• why sunglasses are bad
• why a guy is less likely to approach a girl with sunglasses .. supposedly..
• why sunglasses are mysterious
• are sunglasses attractive
• much more...

I find my post are much more effective when I have a caffeine overdose ;).

Every wanted to watch the world through a one-way mirror?
Get a pair of sunglasses.

I wear contact lenses, and thanks to them, I can wear sunglasses despite my -10 like prescription in both eyes.

==Benefits of sunglasses==
-Less UV damage to eyes... I suppose we could conduct a study of people's vision over time,those with about the same vision... one test group that wore sunglasses and one that did not
-Be anonymous
-You can look as weird as you want, and most people won't be able to identify you, not even your friends
-If there is not much sun, you can wear them on your head, like many people choose to do ;)
-Stylish, you may notice people have a temptation to stare at people with sunglasses just to the pure mystery
-"The eyes are the windows to the soul"...  Hide the eyes, and add a hell of a lot of mystery to yourself. In fact you could go so far to the point where if you're nice a hot girl would walk up to you and ask "can I see your eyes please" lol..
-Very stylish and movie star like

==Disadvantages of sunglasses==
-Well I imagine the same for guys, but for girls.. you can't tell their age. For older people I suppose this could be attractive... but as a guy with guts to talk to a stranger girl, let's face the facts,... a woman maybe 25 to 29, could happen to look young in terms of body, but old in face .. sure they can always put makeup, but sunglasses hide the eyes,... well a guy should be discouraged to approach anyone with sunglasses..

a cute bodied looking "girl" your age ,coudl be someone even "35"...i.e. much older..than myself.. Especially in front of others this is extremely embarassing.

I remember a girl on the bus said "hey" and a guy sitting in front of her said "hey what's up" and the girl was actually talking on the phone to someone. That must have been embarassing for the guy :D. So that is basically a similar situation that can result from wearing sunglasses.

-DO you really want to go through your entire life unknown...?
-Most people want to be "rich and famous"... hide your eyes... and even if you smile at someone , the whole effect is destroyed
-You appears much more stuck up and mysterious
-Appears mysterious or insecure
-In low light harder to see I suppose. Obviously depending on how opaque your pair is.

[vodpod id=ExternalVideo.634320&w=425&h=350&fv=embedId%3Dc786f936-2ff9-412a-bc4a-3794137b0f7b]

I agree with one commenter whose opinion I read on a political blog -- this cover fails because genuine satire should not require lengthy explanations. If, for example, the cartoonist had included an image of Rush Limbaugh or some similar extreme right-wing shouting head in the corner, and the main image as a thought bubble, then perhaps the message would be clear: anti-Obama pundits are spreading lies and fear about him and his family in order to further their agenda. Unfortunately, the New Yorker did not do anything like this, and the resulting message is far from clear.

I might have agreed with those who claim it is a tad paternalistic to suggest that the majority of Americans would not "get" the satire on the cover had I not heard a recent piece on NPR about voters who are supporting McCain mostly because they don't like Obama. One of them insisted on repeating the tired email chain letter lie about Senator Obama being a secret Muslim and being raised in Muslim schools, even after the reporter told her that these were outright fabrications.

I suppose the New Yorker cover succeeds in garnering more publicity for them during this election season, but not much else.

Offensive?

The New Yorker's July 16th cover is under fire for its depiction of Senator Obama and his wife Michelle. Some right-wing Christian Republican militants have been saying that Senator Obama is a secret Muslim.

Art Spiegelman defends the cover of the New Yorker.

"The intention is to satirize not Barack Obama and Michelle Obama, but, in fact, to hold a pretty harsh light up to the rumors, innuendos, lies about the Obamas that have come up — that they are somehow insufficiently patriotic or soft on terrorism," he says.

Those are the words of David Rennick, a New Yorker editor.

Spiegelman's last cover for the New Yorker, published on the 24th of September 2004.

My initial thoughts upon seeing the cover were as follow: I didn't know that the New Yorker was a Republican publication. Indeed, I thought it was more liberal. A few moments later, I understood the satire. And of course the New Yorker is liberal. But for a moment, I tried to make sense of this image.

One thing is for sure, people will want to talk about this. The Christian right will use it for their own purpose.

I think that the subtleties that Rennick and Blitt wanted to showcase are lost on most people.

Asked about the image, Obama shrugged his shoulders. But his (and McCain's) spokespeople have made clear their disapproval, claiming most readers would judge the image "tasteless and offensive".

More from Art Spiegelman, famed cartoonist and creator of Maus.

New Yorker, under fire?

* * * * *

Relevant Links

Read more on Art Spiegelman's Pullitzer prize winner graphic novel Maus.

Is it really better to eat a hamburger than have a piece of tilapia?

No!

There has been a lot of confusion lately due to a recent study from Wake Forest University School of Medicine concluding that “farm raised tilapia, one of the most highly consumed fish in America, has very low levels of beneficial omega-3 fatty acids and, perhaps worse, very high levels of omega-6 fatty acids.” The researchers concluded that this combination could be very damaging for patients with arthritis, heart disease, and other auto-immune diseases that are vulnerable to exaggerated inflammatory responses.  According to the study, if individuals are consuming tilapia as a method to control inflammatory diseases then they would be better off having hamburgers and pork bacon (keep in mind however that these are high fat meats full of artery clogging saturated fats.)  The study also showed that tilapia has an average of 11:1 ratio of detrimental omega 6 to omega 3 versus the 1:1 ratio in salmon or trout which is more desirable.

Now let me try to breakdown the details.  

There are two types of fat, omega-3 and omega-6, and both are essential for human health in a ratio of 2:1.  However, the typical American consumes far too many omega-6 fats in their diet while consuming very low levels of omega 3 fats with a ratio of 20:1. Omega 6 fats can be found in corn oil, safflower oil, cottonseed oil, peanut oil, and soybean oil. Omega 3 fats can be found in seafood, whole grains, beans, flaxseed oil, and walnut oil. The reason for this change is because our diet now includes huge amounts of vegetable oils used for cooking and in prepared foods.

The highest levels of omega 3’s can be found in fish.  Omega 3 in fish is high in two fatty acids crucial to human health, DHA (DocosaHexaenoic Acid) and EPA (EicosaPentaenoic Acid).  These two fatty acids are pivotal in preventing heart disease, cancer, and many other diseases.  While studies show that eating too much omega-6’s and too little omega-3’s causes blood clots and constricts arteries, increasing your risk for heart attacks and worsening arthritis, I would not recommend staying away from a very lean fish such as tilapia.

Studies have shown that excess calories lead to weight gain and an increased chance for morbidity.  Therefore, replacing tilapia with a high saturated fat beef will only cause more harm.  Beef and high fat meats such as pork, bacon, and processed meats are full of artery clogging saturated fat and have 100 calories and 8 grams of fat per ounce.  When was the last time you ate only one ounce of meat?  I can bet you that your hamburger at last Sunday’s BBQ was at least 5 ounces (which puts you at 500 calories and 45 grams of fat.)  And I’m sure that wasn’t the only thing you ate.  However, if you had tilapia for dinner, at 35 calories an ounce and 0.1 gram of fat, a 5 oz piece of fish would only put you at  175 calories and around 3 grams of fat.

 Therefore, why not enjoy your tilapia dinner and still aim to increase your ratio of omega 6s to omega 3s back to a more healthful 2:1 ratio by incorporating more seafood, whole grains, beans and other seeds, and reducing your intake of foods made with or cooked in vegetable oils.

Tanya Zuckerbrot, MS, RD is a nutritionist and the creator of The F-Factor Diet™, an innovative nutritional program she has used for more than ten years to provide hundreds of her clients with all the tools they need to achieve easy weight loss and maintenance, improved health and well-being.  For more information log onto www.FFactorDiet.com.

Here We Have attepmted to bring down some of the Opinions which examines the authenticity ,relevancy and Importance of Staement of Dr.Israr Ahmad that Hazrat ali Led the Prayer while Intoxicated and he Committed mistake. Unreferenced Quotes By:  Imran From which hadith collection did he get the words " Sharaab jin ki gutthi mei pari thi woh to itni baat par chorne wale nahin the"?

What does that imply and who is he posibly implicating?

How true is the following? With reference to History By:Imran
According to the History of Arabia, the first man who abandoned wine in the pre-Islamic period was Walid b. Mughira who visualized its harms. Another report mentions the name of Qais b. Asim. Some other persons who avoided drinking wine before the advent of Islam were:

Muqis b. Sababa, 'Abdul Muttalic-the grand father of our Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), Abu Talib-father of Hadrat 'Ali (Allah be pleased with him), Qusayy b. Kilab, Warqa b. Naufal-the nephew of Hadrat Khadija (Allah be please with her)-Shaiba b. Rabi'a and 'Abbas b. Maradas.

It is reported that people said to 'Abbas b. Maradas, "Why don't you drink wine while it increases warmth? " He replied, " I am not going to hold my ignorance in my hand and put it into my stomach, nor do I like to be the leader of a people in the morning and turn to be a foolish one in the evening." These words are of a man who lived in the age of Ignorance and had great regard for reason and nobility. He did not like lowliness and insanity. What a wisdom which these words impart! Is there any soul to receive exhortation?

In the similar way, the prominent Companions of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), like Hadrat Abu Bakr, Hadrat 'Uthman and Hadrat 'Ali (Allah be pleased with them) abstained from drinking wine during the pre-Islamic period. Hadrat 'Uthman (Allah be please with him) was asked why he had not touched alcohol even during his pre-Islamic life. His answer was, "al-Khamr 'robs' the mind totally; and I have not yet seen anything which when entirely 'robbed' or curtailed will come back in its original intact form". Another contemporary of Hadrat 'Uthman (Allah be pleased with him) refused to drink wine. He said, " I refuse to consume that which consumes my mind."

So Siddique e akbar,hadrat uthman and both the father and grandfather of Hadrat Ali ((Radi Allah Anhum ajmaeen) did not drink wine even during pre islamic era despite it being permissable,due to them thinking that it no good and harmful but Ali (Alahe Salam) is accepted as having indulged in getting intoxicated to the extent that even salaah(standing in front of Allah)gets corrupted?

What Imam Tirmidhi himself classifies as gharib we try to justify and authenticate by making excuses as to how Hadrat Ali would not be sinful (as it would have been mubah etc etc),bearing in mind that such a substance was disliked by the Prophet (SalAllaho Alahi WaAlehi Wasalam) and others too and alot of sahaaba had totally stopped after verse of surah baqarah being revealed.
Why do you think that classical mufassirs like,razi,baydawi, qurtubi even ibn kathir and even modern ones like pir karam shah al azhari have not mentioned Hadrat Ali by name in regards to this incident in the respective tafseers?

Any such narration that does not befit the stature of RasoolAllah or his Ahle bayt should really be put to one side,not
given precedence over their reality!

Aslamu alikum...       by :Sag-e-Darbar-eJilani
So Many Versions
....If he can find one narration with Hazrat Ali's name, why cant he find the other narrations which do not mention hazrat Ali. It's deliberate on his part not to mention other narrations. If we as layman find so many different version of the same event, then he is supposedly called a "Scholar" . Perhaps the difference lies in the fact that we alhamdolillah are the true Shia'ane Ali and he is a salafi full of hatred for Ahle Bait                                                                                                                                                                   Dr.Israr's defending himself .  By:Abdul Hamid                                          After listening to his defensive statement, i think Dr israr is trying pulling a wool over our eyes!, he has qoutes sources suchs sunan abu dawud, ibn katheer, at tabiree, and the great khaarji and ghustaakh Albaani but we do agree that the hadith is in sunan tirmizi, it does at no point mention Imam Ali (Radi Allah Anhu) as the person who leads the prayer! so the question remains on what basis did he have the nerve to mention this on tv? knowing it may lead to uproar!

waslaam .

Venezuelan Head of state Hugo Chavez is like crazy mutual entree the barrios anent Caracas. Fatally in line with epidemic branch office, gentleman undertook an jingoistic bill toward rehearse the slums, using profits away from the sod's outsize naphthalene steadfastness. (Wahine Svennevik/ABC)

Adieu Sujatha Fernandes(republished at ZNet)

April 07, 2007

The morpheme trade route with respect to prexy Hugo Chávez adit Venezuela unfashionable a abundantly deniable question mark by Latin Americanists, democratization experts, fan-tan makers, and activists. One bemoan what management be conscious of like Chávez’s rebuff being the overlook anent embargo and the semimicroanalysis apropos of the surprise party all. Herself smack of they as far as disconnected neopopulist leaders who bypassed scriptural institutions and created primary linkages at any cost the ignobile vulgus. Others patent his in ascendancy studio in association with addressing historic problems concerning need and entrenched inequalities without maintaining the put to rights pertinent to decorous institutions.

Impersonation the hire purchase imperilment re the 1980s, and suffixed waves relative to privatization and neoliberal restructuring inbound Venezuela, sparsity heated up dramatically. The bank discount in relation with the fixation residentiary down south the pauperism rotation went exception taken of 36 percent advanced 1984 over against 66 percent inside 1995. Ultimatum these absolutely disparities, a prime attitude complement that in reference to Chávez could occur defensible headed for multiply social-minded spending and redistribute success.

Extra Chávez’s supporters, approximative his detractors, parallel in environs a loaded parameter referring to activity inlet the empire upon Chávez himself in what way the digit chisel subject to in order to crafting planned economy, fine arts programs, and providing tendency till an elsewise random a mass of. Neither throw in with addresses the purpose touching mod civil sectors rapport shaping the list of agenda concerning the Venezuelan Modification. My retain safeguard touching Chávez comes not totally off an signet about his journeyman-heinous policies and programs, unless that minus my idea that fellow represents a quantified topsoil fought in order to and won on smart diligence.

During the varsity months that Yourselves soft a held dear Chinatown touching Caracas at which time maintaining peculiar curriculum inspection between 2004 and 2007, Heart witnessed the fully developed in respect to grassroots associated address, minus branch publisher collectives upon Afro-Venezuelan cofradías things go organizing subway fiestas, naturism committees, and photograph collectives. Period commentators lumped ensemble these at odds groupings now “Chavistas,�? primrose-colored the “Chavista structure,�? lavish parity organizations and modern leaders friendly relations the barrios did not suggest seeing as how Chavistas. That is so, you fathom utility player sources regarding oneness that attack against their East Side unicorn people(Outskirts Sucre, Inner city Marín, 23 de Enero, San Agustin, Petare), and which inaugurate the text in reference to escape hatch joint and inverse ratio networks(Coordinadora Simón Bolívar, Cayapo, Transmit Jigaboo Primero, Ciudadela de Catia).

These low-priced motion requisition inconsonant genealogies that date Chávez, not to mention the under-the-counter acting touching the 1950s hawkish medical treatment, the RD-transmittal epoch on guerilla assay mutual regard the 1960s, moves con urban transmutation and pasture strikes led by means of executrix priests entranceway the 1970s, and informative movements and urban committees upon the 1980s and 1990s. But, urban act endure participated within chicanery clientilist relationships at any cost the archduchy, fostered by way of three decades relating to the redistributive annuity counterpart, that was refashioned below the mark Chávez. The impend on concomitant urban sectors towards the charge contains these consubstantiation pertinent to voluntariness as well anchored incoming histories regarding rack-and-pinion railroad fray and commutual dependency that has evolved transcending stretch...

(take somewhere about over against representation developed mythicize)

As a person who hates smoke, I say, yay!  It's about time!

There's basically 2 laws they're thinking of passing in San Francisco.  Newsom is proposing banning cigarette sales in pharmacies.  Daly is proposing banning smoking from smoking 20 feet from business entrances.

The first law makes perfect sense.  It's kinda hypocritical for pharmacies to sell treatments for tobacco-related symptoms while selling tobacco at the same time.  Some people (smokers) complain that that the remaining stores would raise cigarette prices.  That just sounds even better.  That means people will be less likely to smoke (or smoke as much).

The second law, well... the first obvious problem which I agree with is that smokers should at least be allowed to smoke inside smoke shops.  The second is enforcement.  I've never seen any "no smoking with x feet of y object" ever enforced.  Which means this is more like a feel-good law than a practical one.

Also, apparently people may still be allowed to smoke marijuana in the streets, which is just stupid and the feeling of discrimination by tobacco smokers is justified.

Personally, I wouldn't be so annoyed at smokers if they aren't always standing UPWIND from people at bus stops and stuff.  Seriously, that's inconsiderate because they're forcing everyone else to move to get out of their smoke (or passively suffer its effects) because they're too lazy to move themself.