Thank You... Hoping for a Response.

It is always an honor to be a Muse for another artist. It is gratifying to inspire anyone. It makes us feel relevant.

Here’s an example:

I wrote a song over ten years ago in San Francisco.

It was recorded by the band I was playing with at the time (We called ourseves Mercy and we were not famous, just a few hippes playing small venues).

Well the A Muse ing part is this:

7th Child is the name of the song.

The song I wrote in the nineties:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=H1bNPFsRDcQ&feature=related

The song I found on Humboldt music.com by one of the band members from Mercy back in San Francisco:

http://www.humboldtmusic.com/webpage/index.cfm?Sid=2876&id=2097&page=SongDetail

History DOES repeat itself (sometimes in a different voice).

-Maria

-Andrea

I've done my share of slinging hay bales, too. But with corporate farms taking over family farms, with fewer people able or willing to pursue farming as a career, knowing how to make hay is on its way to becoming an endangered skill species. (Want to read more about how hay is made? Check out this short memoir, "Making Hay" by Verlyn Klinkenborg.) I'm guessing in the not-too-distant future, people will wonder where the phrase "making hay while the sun shines" came from, just like the now-irrelevant phrase "dial a phone"...

For that, I am certainly grateful.  It's definitely fun to run errands with him.  It can certainly be easy to be productive and efficient with him along.

But at the same time, his being so darned cute and affable can be a hindrance.  And not because of him, really.  Because of other people.  He draws people in, makes them like him, makes them feel special with his smile and eye contact.  Certainly this is a great talent, and if he learns to use it well it will be an asset to him in nearly any career he chooses.  But now, I love it and could use to turn it off occasionally.  We hit Costco and the supermarket today, and I couldn't go more than ten minutes in either store without someone impeding our progress.  I heard about how adorable he is.  Jake got four different games of peek-a-boo.  "He looks like a doll."  "He's so happy."

I try not to get annoyed by it.  I'm fairly certain the people who seek out interacting with me, or with him, it's to fulfill a social need of theirs, or something.  And naturally I love hearing how cute and sweet and happy my kids are.  But after a while, man, I just want to eat my Costco slice of pizza and find the best dates on the yogurt and get on with my day... before the little cute happy guy gets hungry or tired and isn't nearly as charming anymore.

THANK YOU to our residents for donated the books & magazines for public use :)

Feel free to drop by & do borrow! Cuz thats what they are for!

As courtesy to others, ...
Return your books in a timely manner so that others may borrow them.
Keep books dry.
Turn the pages carefully so they don't tear.
Do not write, color or cut in the books.
Remember to use a bookmark.

Thank you very much :)

I don't think us guys compliment girls enough because when I do dish one out, it changes their mood completely - it's a weird phenomenon.

For example, I was going in to get my haircut the other day. While waiting for my stylist to finish up, I noticed she was looking really good. She had on one of those yellow, t-shirt material dresses that went down to just above her knees. I definately find her attractive, and wouldn't even mind a date with her, but over the past year her and I have just been friends... only seeing each other when I come in every 6 weeks for a clean up.

Well, she came over to get me and as we were walking to the seat, I said:

I really like you dress, it looks great on you

Thats it. That is all I said. But man, you would have thought I just gave her three dozen fresh roses! She lit up immediately and became more chatty, quick to giggle, and overall flirty with me the entire time I was there!

Needless to say, complimenting has some major advantages. I highly recommend it... and girls, do it to guys as well. No one compliments anyone these days, so when you do, it makes you stick out (in a good way). If you're gonna compliment a guy, say something about his muscles or ability to fix/do something. This may seem kind of cliche, but us guys like to be recognized for those types of things (why do think guys are always trying to fix a problem instead of just listen to the problem! It's how our minds work).

Something along the lines of, "your shoulders look really big in that shirt" will do just fine... Or perhaps, "I can't believe you were able to fix that so quick". I promise you that it will work wonders.

As for the fellas, start complimenting the ladies on how they look. Besides, they put in a lot of effort to look good ... let them know you noticed!

I can only speak from my experience, but after dishing out compliments on clothing, hair, smiles, etc., I have had a lot more success in getting dates. Just a thought.

He still thinks I'm hot ... even though no one else does?

He still thinks I'm hot ... even though I'm not hot?

He still thinks I'm hot ... for a mother?

He still thinks I'm hot ... for being ancient?

He still thinks I'm hot ... and I have past the date of freshness?

He still thinks I'm hot ... and I really really am?

He still thinks I'm hot ... as if it matters?

He still thinks I'm hot ... even though he sees me with his heart mostly.

He still thinks I'm hot ... even though I'm a ice princess?

He still thinks I'm hot ... even when I'm freezing?

Hard to tell, these "compliments" of his.  But I'll take it, none the less.

Next time, B (and all others who give these kind of compliments,) just be clear.  Else you might hear us women say, "I want to screw you 6 ways from Sunday.  Go figure."

WRONG!

Most women are wired this way. There is a clear, one-way path to getting sex and LOTS OF IT!

You have to make your wife feel special, loved, admired, respected, adored, and secure. You don't have to do all of these all of the time (That would seem psychotic!). However, you have to patiently create these feelings in her BEFORE you can expect her to have sex with you! To begin with, you may have to simply connect with her on some superficial, simple things. For example:

Go shopping together. This can be for groceries, curtains, clothes, or any personal items. If you go clothes shopping, be sure to give her some VERY adoring, jaw-dropping moments as she models for you.

Express an interest in what SHE is into. If she is into a hobby, craft, or volunteer program, ask her about it. You don't have to take up needle point, just talk about what she is into. Show sincere interest.

Let her talk. More importantly, when you let her talk, don't try to solve any issue she brings up! Women simply need to talk and be heard. Even if they ask what do you think, resist the temptation to give a "solution." Rather, you should empathize and state how you understand.

Give her specific compliments. Broad flattery is useless. Specific compliments on her hair, eyes, or how well she pulled off something at her job is going to give you loads of credit in the "He cares" bank account.

Only AFTER you have deposited enough into this "He cares" bank account, can you expect to make any withdrawls. Be sure to not brazenly ask for this...keep depositing your emotional support until your account is overflowing and she feels a strong compulsion to give you what you need. Remember, she needs love in order to have sex. So give her all the emotional love, support, adoration, affection, and patience in the world. Once you accomplish that, you will be able to have sex more often...then you will feel loved!

For more tips, advice, and a step by step system to make your wife hot, go to www.makeyourwifehot.com.

Finally such a story has appeared, on the July 2 cover of USA TODAY. Reporter Judy Keen interviews residents in small Allen, Neb., and Forks of Salmon, Calif., to understand and write about true pain at the pump. Called "High gas prices threaten to shut down rural towns," the article shares this frightening stat: "People in rural areas spend as much as 16.02% of their monthly family income on gas, while people in urban areas of New York and New Jersey spend as little as 2.05%."

A nifty (or is it sad?) graphic also shows which counties' residents are hit the hardest by gas prices. As a fuel analyst in the story says, "the people who can least afford this are getting hit the worst... people who can't telecommute or carpool or use public transportation or any of the other things that people in metro areas can do to ease the pain." 

Thanks, USA TODAY, for publishing an excellent rural perspective on this issue, devoting not only column inches of copy but nice photos and graphics as well. Thanks for featuring small towns for some other reason than a school shooting, a weather disaster or a presidential candidate spinning in for a photo opp.

-Joe

Him: "Are you going to introduce me?"

Her:  "Oh you've met her before haven't you?"

Him:  "I remember beauty when I see it...I haven't met her before."

Me:  *psshhh* "Oh come ON now!"

Him:  "Did you just 'Oh come ON!' me?"

Me:  "I did!"

Him:  "Sheesh, I try and give a compliment and she gives me attitude!"

Me:  "Yeah...that's just how I roll"  And I walked away laughing to see what Austin was doing outside.  I came back in the kitchen...

Him:  "I'm old fashioned you know..."

Me:  "Oh you are huh, well that's cool." (Shuddup, I know I'm smooth!)

Him:  "Yeah I believe that beauty isn't only skin deep, it's what's on inside that counts.  THAT is what's important.  I truly believe that."

Me:  "Yeah, I agree with you."

That whole conversation was a little on the awkward side for me but in the end I kind of appreciated it.  I know I can be a total dork and this is post isn't a fraction as interesting as some of the stuff I read about making a difference in peoples lives, but for some reason it affected me...

Thank you, whatever your name is, I'm sure I'll see you around sometime.  I might end up saying thank you to your face...you just never know.

If you are like me, you probably have many different looks.  You have the date night out with the hubby look – super cute overpriced jeans paired with a top from Anthropologie or Bloomies, hair blown out nicely and freshly applied make-up.  Next, you have the out with the girlfriends for lunch look – which could include any of the following:  yoga wear or maybe a slightly sweaty tennis outfit - because like me, you have picked up tennis as a hobby solely due to the fact the outfits are just so darn cute or maybe,  it is capris & a tank with your chocolate brown Havaianas Sandals with minimal make-up.  And of course there is the driving the kids to school look – Victoria Secret's PINK t-shirt, yoga pants which have never seen the inside of a yoga studio, optional bra, whatever flip flops you have nearest to the door and the make-up you were too tired to take off the previous night. 

There are of course a few more looks: 

• going to a black tie school fundraiser or B'nai Mitzvah look
• meeting the new moms at your child’s open house at school look
• and lastly there is the going to see that old high school friend whom I haven’t seen in a really long time and I want her to notice how much better I look than last time we saw each other - even though she will never ever ever EVER acknowledge improvement or compliment me look (oops, another blog entirely)

So you get my point.  No matter how attractive or un-attractive we think we are, within our overall self-image we have our own personal scale of measurement. One our worst day, we are our own personal "1" and on our best day, a "10".  For example, my "1" is the way I probably looked for the first six weeks of my baby’s life but I was smart enough to never look in the mirror during that time. And my "10" is the way I look when Luis, the fabulous stylist, blows out my hair movie-star-style.

Now think about this.  Isn’t it amazing how differently we are treated based on where we fall on that scale on a given day?  I am the same woman with the same body and the same personality yet the world reacts differently to me.  I get a lot more help from the bag boy at Publix when I am having a “cute” day than when I am having a “rushed out of the house and didn’t put myself together just to grab some 2% milk for my coffee” day.  It is a very hard thing to have to admit but no matter what we try to believe – physical looks do matter. 

I have a very hard time accepting this.  I have a pre-pubescent daughter.  I want her to believe that it is what she has on the inside that really matters.  I want to tell her – and myself – that being a really good person, being honest and kind and generous, and of course FUNNY, is all she needs to get everything she wants in this world.  Unfortunately, I have to admit to myself that is just not true in the world we live in.

People are going to assess you on a first impression which is based solely on your appearance at the moment.  Unfortunately, we cannot hand over a bio package to every new person we meet.  However, wouldn’t it be great if we could?  It would go something like this:

CR:  Hi, I am Crazy Redhead.  Nice to meet you.

New Person:  Hello, may I see your bio? 

So, then I could hand over the bio package, which would include, among other things:

• my current psychological profile
• my fbi file (just kidding - or not)
• letters of references from my friends who can vouch for my sparkling personality
• my wedding picture (because even 13 years later, I still love my currently out of style big poofy sleeved wedding dress)
• a letter from my preschool teacher, Mrs. Matheson (because I was the only one she trusted to bring home the guinea pig for the weekend)
• a drawing my youngest child has done of me (because he thinks I am the most beautiful girl in the world)
• a recording of my sister singing (it wouldn’t really help me but I am always impressed with my sister’s voice.  It is not fair that she got to be beautiful and talented and gets to be a natural redhead but still have olive skin and therefore can get a tan)

must insert private note to my little sister here – everyone else reading needs to skip this next line –

“Does this public declaration of your many attributes finally make up for my television debut in 1975 when I told the host on the Skipper Chuck show that you were 'a pain in the butt'?”

 Okay, everyone else can continue reading here:

I guess I made the point.  When we first meet someone, there is not much to go on besides our appearance.  It isn’t right but we do it.  I try very hard to not fall into that “book by the cover” cliché but I will also try not to judge you for doing the same.  It is just part of the society we live in. As Howard Jones so rhymically put it in 1985,  “No one is to blame.”

Lastly, we have taken a bit of a “long and winding road” (sorry, I can’t help myself with the corny song references today) to get to my point.  Here is my belief:  You are not setting the women’s movement back just because you typically apply a fresh coat of lipstick right before pulling into the service drive of the Lincoln dealership.  If one coat of Mac’s Twig lipstick is all it takes to get your politically incorrect SUV serviced a little quicker, then “knock yourself out baby”!

 Just remember this lesson the next time you find yourself needing some extra help navigating the aisles of Home Depot, trying to find the right size hinges for your daughter’s complicated science project, and go ahead and apply a bit of mascara first.  Just so you know, my favorite is Maybelline Full 'N Soft Mascara, Brownish Black.

It works for me everytime!

Have a great weekend.  Thanks for joining me the inaugural week of this fun journey.  Remember to check in with the Crazy Redhead on Monday for another adventure in the life of a 30ish/40ish suburban woman. (If you have not already done so, you can click the link in the right column of this page, to subscribe to receive an email alert of my new entries. )

We were also talking about how you never really see familys out together anymore. Generally, you'll see a mom and her kids, and even more rarely, the dad and kids, but usually not the whole family out together doing simple things like going to the grocery store or riding bikes together, or even just hanging out. I often wondered whether or not it's because there are fewer families that are still in-tact, but a quick check of the census bureau shows that in-tact families are still the majority (In 2006, 51% of Family households are married couple families, averaging 3.2 people per household). So, why is it that we are consistently the only family walking around and doing things together on a regular basis?

Anyway, on our walk, as we were crossing the street, there was an older gentleman impatiently waiting to cross the light who I was eyeballing to make sure that he didn't hit my child, or me and Anthony. He kindly looked up and nodded his head, as if to let me know his foot was firmly secured on the brake. As we're crossing the next street, he drives by, rolls his window down, and says, "you have a BEAUTIFUL family!", and waved at us. We were stunned. Didn't know what to say or how to react. By the time we'd thought of something, he was already gone. It puts a smile on my face just thinking about that, I mean, how random for someone to just scream out of their car how beautiful your family is. It was greatly appreciated because we know that man didn't have to take the time to say it, but he did.

It's crazy because it seems that everywhere we go, people are paying attention to us. I don't mean that in the paranoid, "everybody is watching us" way, but we've noticed that people seem to notice us more than they do other people, and engage us in conversations far more often than they do other people. Not just that, but when we go to large events, its like photographers have heat seeking lenses that somehow always manage to find us, and as a result, we've been in the local paper twice and a local park system paper as a family just in the last four months. It's like we are wearing some kind of beacon that just attracts people and makes them want to know who we are.

Its kind of weird, but it's also really cool to know that people still love to see families together, out playing together and having fun. People stop us and ask us all kinds of things, from where we got Miles' bike seat, helmet or sling, or just to let us know that they see us everywhere around town. Recently, people have been calling us The Bike Family, which is hilarious, but it means that people see us out and in some way feel connected to us, and are inspired to do things they wouldn't ordinarily do.

As an African-American family, I know we can be considered an anomaly, but we're hoping that people seeing us out often changed peoples perceptions about what a black family looks like.

Almost everyday, someone will comment when they look at my feet, "Cool sandals, what brand are they?"

"FitFlops," I happily reply.  Which will lead into the next question.

"Where do you get them?" 

"I am reviewing them because I heard about these amazing sandals on the BlissWorld site.  They are suppose to give you a little additional workout while you wear them, and they looked so great, I just had to try them."

"So, how do they feel?"

"Incredible.  They are lightweight, but give a good amount of support and cushion.  They are perfect to wear around town while running errands, and are great poolside as well."

"What about the workout feature, does that really work?"

"Actually, after the first day I wore them, I didn't notice any additional muscle action while wearing them, but that evening, when I took them off, I felt some butt fatigue like I had been doing some lunges or had just worked out.  I think they are really doing something."

FitFact:

FitFlops slow the eversion rate of the average person’s step, so that the time the muscle spends in an active state is increased during every step. The muscle fibers activated are the ‘slow twitch’ type, which are the fibres that create longer, leaner-looking limbs.

"Where do you buy these and how much do they cost?"

"You can purchase these at several online shoe sites, but I bought mine at Macys.  They retail for $49.99 for the Walkstar style, and they also carry some cool patent leather styles for $59.99."

I am loving summer in these fashionable, comfortable and butt-burning FitFlops!!!  Seriously, I love getting the compliments too. 

 You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be

just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't

like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. You are special and unique.

8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another

look.

11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude

remarks.

So ,,,

Happiness keeps You Sweet,

Trials keep You Strong,

Sorrows keep You Human,

Failures keeps You Humble,

Success keeps You Glowing,

But Only God keeps You Going