I should preface this story with the fact that Jane not only introduced me to my British Gwag, but predicted, weeks in advance, that we'd dig each other.  He is referred to in Jane's first post about Grey as "Tom." 

I think this is an awful pseudonym for him, though I've been calling him British Guy, and that'll likely become quite confusing in the next couple of weeks.

So for right now, we're just going to refer to him as Royce.  I'll probably come up with something better in the near future, and am really at a loss at how to be clever right now.

Anyway, my first visit to London was in December of last year, for a week, under the excuse that Jane wanted to go back and walk in her graduation ceremony, ie. sleep with the hot Indian guy before it was too late.  

While I do dearly love Jane, and have come to regard her as one of the most compatible friends I'll ever have, this particular incident rendered her a pretty bad tour guide.  (I'm sorry, love.  I swear I'm over it; it's just part of the story.)

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a total bust.  We did some fun stuff; saw the touristy destinations, walked around London and night and drank mulled wine, but we didn't get to meet anyone.  And, I've also got to say - Buckingham Palace ... most underwhelming shit ever.

Around the fourth day, I mentioned to her (quite whinily) that we'd only gone drinking and shopping, and could've done those things in Florida.  When she off-handedly suggested we watch a movie, I burst into tears.

By the mercy of God, there was a play reading at Jane's old school the following night, showcasing the work of a few of the students.  This would be Jane's final night in London, though I was staying on an additional two days.  

She told me about this with excitement, routinely hanging up her cell phone after getting further details from Royce, and going on and on about how sexy his phone voice was, and how I was going to like him, but he had a girlfriend.  And, oh, oh, how Jane loves Royce's girlfriend.

She's just awesome, apparently.  And a scientist!  And just the most amazing person ever!  Gag.

So, anyway, I was expecting this guy to be some glowing adonis, and was actually kind of disappointed when we entered the foyer to the black box where the reading was going to take place, and a rather average looking, shortish, blonde guy shook my hand.  Not unpleasant looking, or anything, but nothing I'd notice on the street.

However, I almost immediately began to re-assess him once we'd entered the theatre.  He and I found us seats, exchanging comfortable conversation like old friends, and after so many days of feeling so incredibly alienated, this was one comfort button that was exceptionally vulnerable.

Somehow, I ended up sitting on the end of our little group, next to Royce, not Jane.  This was (strangely) just fine, and as the plays progressed, there developed an awkward, unspoken joke between the two of us that we went to drink our complimentary wine at exactly the same time, over and over. At some point, we both sort of laughed, and I just had to put my wine down.

After the show, the coordinators of the event needed to get rid of the rest of the free wine, so everyone spilled onto the floor/stage area to drink it, and Jane flew into a group of People I Don't Know, leaving me kind of stranded in a sea of cliquey Brits.  

A bit awkwardly, I sought out one of the actresses to tell her how much I'd enjoyed her, and how remarkably she resembled Kristin Davis, and (oops!) stumbled into the conversation she was already having with Royce.  Luckily, they don't suck as human beings, and allowed me to join in their conversation.

After a while, Not-Kristin-Davis excused herself and left Royce and I to continue talking about my trip, words that are only okay on one hemisphere or the other, and how hilarious British exit signs are.  At some point, it was acknowledged that I'd be here for two days after Jane left, and he invited me out drinking the following night with some of his friends.

Conversation continued, and at some point, he also mentioned that there was a comedy show just beforehand that I'd be welcome to join in on as well.  A little later, we just decided I'd call him around 2, and figure something out.

According to Jane, at some point during all of this, her friend Earl pointed out to her that Royce was hitting on me from across the room.  I just love validation.

So, we ended up relocating to a shady pub in Swiss Cottage, where conversation and booze continued to flow until it was time to go home.  I honestly can't remember much of what happened with Royce at the pub, but I have a vivid memory of a very dyke-y actress not liking me at all (and I can say dyke, 'cause my mom likes women) and this oddly emotional moment between Jane and me where I told her I was glad that I'd been there with her during her whole drama with Kip (hot Indian guy).

Jane, Royce, Earl, and I piled into a train to head back to our respective destinations.  I got one of those delightful British versions of the cheek kiss from Royce, where the cheeks are pressed together, kissing noises are made, but there is no lip-to-skin contact.  I remember being marginally attracted to him at this point, but not enough to mention it or really think about it past, eh ... cute.  

Honestly, I was kind of more excited about a potential new friend.

Anyway, Jane stayed on the train to go on to Heathrow to see Kip off to Bombay, and I went back to our little flat in Queensway (stopping to make a call and get a burger from a horrific little halal with fantastic cheese and lots of angry, turbaned men).  

I read a chapter or four of The Time Traveler's Wife and probably fell asleep around 3 or 4am, my head swimming with excitement for having plans, finally, with some London locals.

Read on in My British Gwag - Pt. 2

1. Alonza. RBL. Easy Peasy gaze correction, boggling. Wow, I thought, this is great. I can do this to all my dolls.

2. Garnet, ADG. A little scary. Involved cutting the back of her scalp open (jaggedly). I then clipped too much off her t-bar and now her eye mech doesn't click properly. M. figures she has an EBL t-bar, so it needs to be replaced. Also, the ADGs don't seem to gaze correct quite as dramatically as the Takaras. Their eyemech looks pretty much the same, but it has a much softer click and seems to just naturally rest lower despite how long the t-bar is.

3. Clever, SBL. Since she's a STA and I heard the later SBLs are easier, I went for it with the pry method.  Her faceplate came off pretty easy with minimal cutting. I needed to re-spray matte her and swap some eyechips.  I managed to chip her grey eyechip, and over-boggle her so that her lower eye mech shows. I'm waiting for advice to figure out how to correct this hopefully without carving the lower eye mech.

4. Cade. SBL. She's got that notorious PWP downward gaze plus a very loose neck. I tried my hardest to open her head but it just wasn't happening. I cut away her scalp on the back of her head for basically no reason at all. I finally ended up gaze correcting her without having her head all the way open, I just wedged her open, swiveled her t-bar around, and clipped it with a animal nail clippers. Then I wrapped a little clear rubber band around her neck to create friction. Her gaze is more blythe-normal (not totally corrected, but oh well) and her neck is nice and snug. All in all, a sucess, but she does have some marks around her face plate from prying.

(5. Dell is looking at me like "Don't you f'ing come near me, crazy lady. I really do think I will leave her alone because there are no further issues.)

6?? what?? :)

He knocked at the door and inquired of the inmates how they all did, saying that if they were ill, he would be happy to prescribe for them and cure them.

They replied, "We are all very well, and shall continue so, if you will only be good enough to go away, and leave us as we are."

He knocked at the door and inquired of the inmates how they all did, saying that if they were ill, he would be happy to prescribe for them and cure them.

They replied, "We are all very well, and shall continue so, if you will only be good enough to go away, and leave us as we are."

After a time, perceiving the meekness and gentleness of the beast's temper, he summoned courage enough to approach him.

Soon afterwards, observing that he was an animal altogether deficient in spirit, he assumed such boldness as to put a bridle in his mouth, and to let a child drive him.

Moral:
Use serves to overcome dread.

One night a Bat came and clung to the bars of the cage, and asked the Bird why she was silent by day and sang only at night.

"I have a very good reason for doing so," said the Bird. "It was once when I was singing in the daytime that a fowler was attracted by my voice, and set his nets for me and caught me. Since then I have never sung except by night."

But the Bat replied, "It is no use your doing that now when you are a prisoner: if only you had done so before you were caught, you might still have been free."

Moral:
Precautions are useless after the crisis.

Graph by Strangelander

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He ordered his servants to bring in a faggot of sticks, and said to his eldest son: "Break it."

The son strained and strained, but with all his efforts was unable to break the Bundle. The other sons also tried, but none of them was successful.

"Untie the faggots," said the father, "and each of you take a stick.

"When they had done so, he called out to them: "Now, break," and each stick was easily broken.

"You see my meaning," said their father.

Moral:
Union gives strength.

The king had a stable of goats that his young sons used to ride. One of the goats was fond of food and would daily sneak into the kitchen at any time of the day and make a clean sweep of whatever was available in the kitchen. If the cook chanced to see him stealing food, he would throw at it whatever was handy, a stick or a brass pot.

The monkey leader saw this drama between the cook and the wily goat and thought: “I am sure this tussle between the cook and the goat will lead to the ruin of my tribe. This goat has become a slave to food. The cook will throw at it whatever is nearby. It may be a stick or if it is not readily available he may use an ember from the hearth to throw at the goat. This will set ablaze the goat’s fur-covered body making him run into the stable that would soon catch fire and burn the horses. The great veterinarian Salihotra has said the fat of monkeys is the best medicine for burns. That will be the end of monkeys.”

The monkey leader then summoned all the younger ones and told them that the feud between the cook and the goat would certainly do harm to them. In their own interest they should leave the palace as early as possible. He quoted the scholars saying:

“He who wants to live in peace
Must leave a house of daily strife.
Conflict breaks up kingdoms
Like bad words separate friends”

The younger ones, however, refused to listen to the advice of the old monkey. They told the leader, “Sir, you have become old and senile. We are not going to leave this palace where we have the best food available. What do we get there to eat in the jungles? We cannot eat the indifferent food in the forest.”

Extremely unhappy at their response, the old monkey said, “You have no idea of the price you will pay for the comforts of the palace. They won’t last long. I cannot see the end of our tribe. I am leaving. He who spares himself the spectacle of a friend in distress, of his house occupied by an enemy or of the division of his country, is the happiest.”

The old monkey left all of them with a heavy heart.

Some days later, the wily goat entered the royal kitchen and the cook, failing to see anything handy to punish it, took out a burning piece of wood from the hearth and hurled it at the goat. His fur afire, he ran in panic into the stable where his burning body set ablaze the hay stacked there. Several horses perished in the fire. The king consulted expert veterinarians who advised him to use monkey fat as unguent for horses suffering from burns.

The king ordered all monkeys to be killed and their fat used to heal the burns of the horses. The old monkey was distressed by the death of her progeny and began planning as to how he could take revenge on the king for killing all monkeys. Wandering restlessly in the forest, the old monkey saw a lake full of lotuses. On deeper inspection of the lake, the senior monkey found footprints of animals and human beings entering the lake but not footprints leaving the lake.

The monkey at once realised that there must be some wicked crocodile in the lake and that it was better to drink water with the tube of a lotus. As he began drinking water, a monster emerged from the lake wearing a pearl necklace. The monster addressed the monkey and said, “You seem to be an intelligent chap. You drank water without entering the lake. I am impressed by the presence of your mind. Ask anything you want.”

The monkey asked, “Sir, how many lives can you take in one go?”

The monster said, “I can swallow tens, hundreds and thousands at one time. All this I can do only when they enter the lake. Outside the water, even a jackal can challenge me.”

The monkey said, “I have to settle scores with a king. If you can lend me the pearl necklace on your body, I will somehow persuade the king and all his men to enter the lake for hidden wealth. Then you can kill all of them.”

Trusting the monkey, the monster gave him the pearl necklace. The monkey reached the kingdom of Chandra. People saw the dazzling necklace and asked him how he got it. The monkey told them about the lake. When the word reached the king, he sent for the monkey and asked him how he got the necklace.

On the monkey telling him everything about the lake, the king, led by the monkey, and accompanied by his family, ministers and followers, reached the lake. The monkey told the king that it was better that all his men entered the lake at the same time at dawn. But the monkey told the king, “My lord, you will not go with them. I will take you separately to a spot where you can get a large store of pearl necklaces.”

According to the plan, all the king’s men entered the lake at the same time and were killed by the monster. When nobody came out of the water for a long time, the king became suspicious and asked the monkey about the delay in his men coming out of the lake. The monkey immediately sprang to the top of a tree and told the king:

“O king, the monster inside the lake has killed all your people. You have killed my people. This is my reply to that treachery.”

Moral:
He who is overwhelmed by greed and doesn’t weigh its consequences, will become a victim of deceit.
(This Panchatantra story is from Imprudence)

As he started to cut the tree, a Yaksha living on that tree said, “O weaver, this tree is my home. So I have to protect it. I am very comfortable here enjoying the cool breeze coming from the sea.”

Mandharaka said, “Sir, If I do not cut the tree and take home its wood, my family will starve and die. So, please go somewhere else. I have to cut this tree.”

“All right, if you do not cut the tree, I will give you a boon of your choice,” said the Yaksha.

The weaver said, “Sir, in that case, I will go home and consult my wife and friends. You can give me the boon later.”

On the Yaksha agreeing to it, Mandharaka went home and on his way he met his friend who was a barber and asked him, “Friend, a Yaksha has given me a boon of my choice and gave me time to consult friends and my wife. What boon do you want me to ask him?”

“Ask him to give you a kingdom. You will be the king and I will be your minister. Both of us can enjoy life here and hereafter,” said the barber.

“True. But let me ask my wife also,” said Mandharaka. The barber warned the weaver against consulting his wife and said quoting learned people:

“A wise man can give to his woman
Fine clothes, pearls and diamonds;
But never consult her on his affairs
Because women have low wits.”

And as Shankaracharya said that home that is run by women or children or tricksters will meet ruin in the end.”

The weaver gently ignored the advice of the barber saying that he would nevertheless consult his wife and went home. He told his wife the whole story of the Yaksha and the boon he had offered.

Mandharaka also told his wife that his friend, the barber, had advised him to ask for a kingdom. His wife said, “O my lord, how intelligent is a barber? Never listen to his word. No wise man would consult children or barbers or servants or beggars. Also,

“Kingship has too many problems;
Conspiracies take away your peace.
With the crown come not only thorns
But also sinister plots and treason.
It was for the sake of kingdom
Lord Rama lived in the woods,
Pandava brothers fled into exile,
The Yadava dynasty disappeared,
King Nala embraced anonymity.”

“Therefore, no wise man will invite kingship that leads to killing brothers, friends and relatives,” said the weaver’s wife.

The weaver replied, “My dear, what you say is true. But you haven’t told me what boon I should choose.”

The wife said, “Every day you are able to weave a single piece of cloth. That’s barely enough to meet our daily needs. Therefore ask the Yaksha to give you another head and two more hands. That helps you to weave two pieces of cloth every day instead of one. The first piece will help us meet our daily needs. The second one will help us meet special needs. We can sail through life comfortably and happily.”

The weaver was happy with the advice his wife gave and went to the Yaksha and prayed to him, “Sir, you have kindly given me a choice. I request you to give me two more hands and an extra head.”

At once, he had four hands and two heads. Happily, he began his homeward journey. On the way people saw him and mistaking him for some monster hammered him with sticks and stones. The poor weaver died on the spot.

Moral:
He who has no wits of his own or does not heed advice of friends Perishes.
(This Panchatantra story is from Imprudence)

Every night they would go together to the cucumber farms and sumptuously feed on cucumber. At dawn, they would go home after they had their fill. One day, in a happy mood, the donkey told the jackal, “My son, look, how pleasantly serene the night is. It inspires me to sing. Tell me what raaga would you like me to begin with?”

The jackal said, “Uncle, why do you unnecessarily invite a peril? We have come here to stealthily rampage cucumber crop. Pimps and thieves must always observe silence. Haven’t the learned said:

“He who cannot control cough
Or cannot keep sleep at bay
Or cannot resist good food
Should not burgle a house.”

“Your music has no melody. One can hear it like a trumpet from a mile. The watchmen here are asleep. If your music wakes them, they will either impound us or kill us. So, give up that bright idea and let us eat these sweet cucumbers.”

“You stupid child, you live in the wilderness. That’s why you don’t know to enjoy music. It is only the very lucky people who are destined to listen to music sung in moonlight,” said Uddhata.

The jackal replied, “True. But you do not know what is music. You know only to bray loudly. So, please give up your foolish idea.”

The donkey was angry and retorted, “You are an idiot to say that I don’t know music. Sage Bharata was the author of music, which is regarded as the fifth Veda with hundred and eighty-five notational patterns. To Gods, nothing is dearer than music. It is through music that Ravana won favours from Lord Shiva. “

The jackal said, “All right uncle, let me first get out of this farm and keep a watch outside to alert you if anyone comes this way. You can then leisurely sing to your heart’s content.” The jackal then left the scene quietly.

The moment the donkey began singing, one of the watchmen woke up and struck it with a stick till he dropped to the ground. The watchman then brought an old millstone and hung it to the donkey’s neck. The donkey soon recovered from the blows the watchman showered on him and managed to run with the millstone around his neck.

The jackal saw his plight and said, “You haven’t paid heed to my advice. See how you have got a millstone around your neck.”

Moral:
He who has no wits of his own or does not heed advice of friends Perishes.
(This Panchatantra story is from Imprudence)

The fish heard their conversation and were very worried. Then the frog asked Satabuddhi for advice.

“O Satabuddhi, you have heard what the fishermen were planning. Now tell us what we should do. Should we remain in the lake or go somewhere else.”

Sahsrabuddhi answered the question, “Don’t worry. You should not be scared by just words. The learned have said “The world is still safe because the dreams of snakes and wicked men never come true.” The fishermen may not even come tomorrow. If they come, I am here to save you.”

Satabuddhi said, “You are a genius. What you say is correct. There is nothing that accomplished men cannot conquer. Remember how Chanakya had killed all the armed Nandas.

“Where one cannot pierce sun and wind
The wits of a resourceful man enter.
One should not leave motherland, for,
Nothing is happier than one’s own land.”

Then, Ekabuddhi, the frog, said, “Friends, flight is the only thing I know. So, I and my wife will leave this place tonight itself.”

Accordingly, the frog left the lake immediately. Next day, the fishermen came and netted lot of fish, frogs, crabs, turtles etc. and also Satabuddhi and Sahasrabuddhi and killed all of them. One of them carried Satabuddhi on his head because he was heavier and slung Sahsrabuddhi to his arm because he was long.

Ekabuddhi showed this scene to his wife and said, “Didn’t I tell you what the fishermen will do? Now, see the plight of Satabuddhi and Sahasrabuddhi.”

Moral:
Wisdom is superior to knowledge.
(This Panchatantra story is from Imprudence)

After a few days of travel, they reached a point where the road forked. They were not sure which road would take them home. Then they saw a funeral procession. One of the boys opened his book of learning and read out “Follow the path taken by great men.”

The boy told his other friends, “Let us join and follow these great men leading the funeral procession.”

They thus followed the procession to the cremation ground where they met a donkey.

The second Brahmin boy opened his book of Shastras and found this verse in it:

“He who comes to your aid
In times of danger, famine,
Cremation and invasion
Is truly a friend in deed.”

Then he told his friends that the donkey was, therefore, their best friend. At once one of them held on to the neck of the donkey. Another washed his feet. After this ceremony, they looked around and found a camel. The four of them began figuring out what the animal is. The third man opened his book of knowledge and read out, “What moves fast is righteousness” and decided that the camel must be the embodiment of righteousness.

The fourth man referred to his book and found that righteousness and friendship should always be together. They then tied the donkey and the camel together. Informed of this, the donkey’s owner rushed to beat the four Brahmins. But they escaped before he came. They continued to travel till they reached a river and found a big leaf floating over the water.

One of them saw it and, remembering a line from a verse describing how a leaf helped a man cross the river, jumped on it and was being carried down by the current. A second Brahmin saw his friend in distress and remembered a verse:

“When total loss stares in the face
A wise man sacrifices half and
Manages with what remains.”

So, with a view to save half of his friend, the second Brahmin cut off the head of the drowning man.

The remaining three resumed their travel only to stop when three villagers invited them for a feast. When the host served a dish resembling noodles to the first Brahmin, he thought “what is long should be discarded” and left the place without food.

The second man was served pancakes. He thought, “What spreads is not good for health” and refused to eat.

Doughnuts were served to the third Brahmin. He remembered that “There is peril where there is a hole” and left. The three Brahmins later went home.

Moral:
“What God chooses to save
Survives sans human effort and
No human effort can save
What God ordains to perish.”
(This Panchatantra story is from Imprudence)

On the way, the eldest of them pointing out to the fourth man told the others, “Friends, this fellow is an unlettered fool. He has common sense and nothing else. I am not going to share my earnings with this fellow. Let him go home.”

The second man also supported the eldest boy’s suggestion.

But the third boy said, “Friends, it is not proper to send him back. We played together and he is one of us. Let us share our gains with him because elders have said:

“He who has a narrow mind
Thinks this is mine, this is his.
To a large-hearted person
The whole world is his family.”

In the end, the other two agreed with the third boy’s suggestion and let the common sense man accompany them. As they continued to travel they reached a forest where they saw a heap of bones. One of them told the rest, “Look, here is an opportunity to test our learning. Some animal is dead. Let us bring it to life using the knowledge we have acquired.”

The first man said, “Okay, I will use my learning to assemble the bones into a skeleton.” With the power of learning he ordered all the bones to come together and become a skeleton.

When the skeleton was ready, the second man commanded flesh and blood to fill the skeleton and skin to cover it.

When the third man was about to bring life to the body, Subuddhi, who had only common sense, warned him, “Look, this looks like the body of a lion. If it comes to life, he will kill all of us.”

The man who was to put life into the body of the animal told Subuddhi, “You are a fool. Do you think I will lose this opportunity to test my learning.”

Subuddhi then told him to wait so that he could climb up a tree for safety and went up a tree. When the first man gave him life, the lion came alive and killed all the three learned men.

Moral:
“Even if one is very learned
If he is without common sense
Becomes the butt of ridicule
Like the learned in this story.”
(This Panchatantra story is from Imprudence)

Unable to bear it, they thought, “It is better to live in a forest where only wild animals live and no human beings than to suffer poverty. Sleeping on a bed of grass is better than leading forever a life of want and suffering.”

So, they packed their bags and set out in search of prosperity and happiness. The learned have always said that the grief-stricken man always gives up truth, relatives, mother and even motherland. It was no wonder that the four Brahmins left their place and after several sojourns reached the great city of Ujjain. They bathed in Shipra River and went to the Mahakaleshwar temple. When they emerged from the temple after the worship of Mahakaleshwar, Bhairavananda Swami, a sadhu, greeted them. All of them prostrated before him in reverence and accompanied him to his monastery.

The Swamiji asked the young men, “From where are you coming and where are you going? What brought you here?”

“We are in search of prosperity. For us, it is either death or wealth. You know that adventurous people achieve their goals even if they have to sacrifice their lives. Destiny is all-powerful. Still, nothing can be achieved without human effort. Wells, tanks and ponds become full when it rains. But man too brings water out of the earth by digging deep wells. So, please show us a way to achieve our goal,” the Brahmin boys pleaded with the Swamiji.

Moved by their plight and determination, the Swamiji gave them four sanctified tablets and told them, “Each one of you takes a tablet and travel towards the Himalayas. Stop where the tablet slips out of your hand and look at that spot for treasures. Dig the treasures out and bring them back home and be happy.”

They began their journey and after some days of travel, the tablet dropped from the hand of one of the four Brahmins. They stopped there and after digging the earth, they found plenty of copper. The first Brahmin told the others that all of them could mine as much copper as they could and take it home. The others said, “What is there in copper. Let’s go ahead.” The first Brahmin said they could go if they wanted but he would go home taking all the copper he could carry.

The other three continued their journey till a tablet dropped to the ground from the hand of one of the three. They dug there and found plenty of silver. The second Brahmin suggested that they should be happy with the silver they found and go home. The other two said he could take all the silver if he wanted. They would, however, continue their search for gold. The second Brahmin, happy with what he had found, took silver and went home.

Now, the remaining two Brahmins trekked some more distance until a third tablet dropped. The two dug there and found gold. The third man said that gold was better than copper and silver and they must now go back because there was nothing more precious than gold. The fourth Brahmin did not agree and replied that he would continue his search. The third man took the gold and went home.

It was now the turn of the fourth man. He was now tired and thirsty, and on top of it he had lost his way and began wandering aimlessly. Then he saw a man completely soaked in blood and a wheel whirring over his head like a halo. The Brahmin went near him and asked, “Sir, who are you and what is this wheel over your head? Can you show me a place where water is available?” As he finished his questions, the wheel shifted from the stranger’s head and came over the Brahmin’s head.

Then followed a dialogue:

“What is this wheel which has come over my head,” asked the Brahmin.

“I have no idea. It tormented me as it is doing to you now,” the stranger said.

“At least tell me how I can get rid of it. It is so painful.”

“If any person like you with a tablet comes here and talks to you, the wheel will shift on to his head.”

“How long have you been bearing this hurt,” asked the Brahmin.

“I have no idea. But I think it was in the reign of Lord Rama,” said the stranger.

“Who gave you food and water?”

“This place is where Kubera has stored all his wealth. Those who trespass on this area will have no thirst or hunger but a lot of pain inflicted by this wheel. Only such persons who have a magic tablet like you had can come here,” said the stranger and took leave of the Brahmin.

When the last Brahmin, whose name was Chakradhara, did not return, his friend Suvarnasiddhi went back following the trail left by his friend and found him bleeding and in great pain with a wheel over his head. He asked him how he got into that plight. Chakradhara told him what had happened so far.

Suvarnasiddhi then said, “I told you in many ways not to be greedy. You did not heed my word. You are learned but not wise.

Moral:
Wisdom is always superior to learning.
(This Panchatantra story is from Imprudence)

The lion said, “You know my friend, I do not eat something others have killed. You may take it as my gift to you.”

“I am touched by your magnanimity, my lord,” said the jackal.

After the lion had left, a tiger came on the scene. The jackal thought, “I got rid of one menace through humility. How do I escape this fellow? He will not yield to any strategy I know. The only way of keeping him at bay is cunning. Let me try it.”

The jackal then went half way to greet the tiger and said, “O uncle, why are you entering this area of death? The lion has killed this elephant and asked me to keep watch on it. He has gone to take bath. Before going, he told me to inform him if any tiger happened to come here. He vowed to kill all the tigers because long time ago a tiger had nibbled at an elephant he had killed. He told me that from that day he had sworn to kill all tigers.”

These words frightened the tiger.

He told the jackal, “Son, save my life. When the lion comes, don’t tell him I had come this way. Please.”

On receiving an assurance from the jackal, the tiger hurriedly left the scene. Then came a leopard.

The Jackal thought, “This fellow has strong and sharp teeth. I will persuade him to pierce the hide of the elephant.”

Addressing the leopard, the jackal said, “My son, you have come this way after a long time. You seem to be hungry. Why don’t you be my guest? See this body of the elephant killed by the lion. He has asked me to keep an eye on the body. So, have a feast before he returns.”

The leopard said, “Uncle, how can I accept your invitation. If I want to live long I should not touch this elephant. I will leave now.”

The jackal assured him, “Don’t worry, you go ahead. I will alert you when the lion comes.”

The leopard then began attacking the elephant and when he tore the hide, the jackal cried, “Run. The lion is coming.”

In this way, the jackal managed to get rid of the leopard also.

When the jackal began feasting on the elephant flesh, another jackal came that way. He was very angry and looked very strong. The first jackal remembered the last line of the stanza “crush equals with power” and attacked the trespasser with great ferocity and killed him.

Moral:
Conquer a good man with humility,
Vanquish a hero with strategy,
Overcome the poor through small gifts
And crush equals with power.
(This Panchatantra story is from Loss of Gains)

There he saw a female camel that separated from her caravan and just then delivered a child. The carpenter gave up his plans to go to another country and went home taking the camel and her calf with him. Every day he would go into the forest and bring back with him bundles of tender leaves for the camel and her child to eat. The she camel regained and her strength and the calf now became an adult. The carpenter began selling camel milk and making good money.

Ujjwalaka loved the camel so much that he bought a bell and hung it to her neck. One day he thought to himself, “If one camel can bring so much money for me, how much more would I earn if I buy more camels and sell their milk?” He told his wife that he would borrow some money to go to Gujarat and buy a she camel and that she should take care of the she camel and her calf till he returned from Gujarat.

He went to Gujarat and returned home with a she camel. Slowly, the number of camels he had increased several times. He appointed a keeper to take care of the camel herd he had on the condition that he would give one camel to the keeper every year as remuneration. The keeper was also free to drink camel milk twice a day. Now, everything was fine for the carpenter and he and his wife thus lived happily ever after.

The camels used to go every day to a nearby forest to feed on the fresh green leaves available in plenty in the forest. After spending a lot of time in the forest, eating and playing, the camels trekked back home. But the senior she camel stayed on in the forest and joined the herd later. The other camels thought that the she camel was a fool to go her separate ways and what would she do if a wild animal attacked her.

One day a lion saw all the camels leaving the forest in a herd and the she camel staying back and loafing about. By the time she finished her leisurely grazing, the others left and reached home. The she camel lost her way and was in panic when the lion, which was following her, pounced on her and soon tore her to pieces.

Moral:
He (or she) who does not follow the advice of wise men perishes like the camel.
(This Panchatantra story is from Loss of Gains)

Delighted, the woman told him, “O handsome, my husband has a lot of wealth. He is old and of no use to me. I will bring all the money and jewellery at home to you. Let us run away to a far off place and live there happily ever after.”

The trickster was very happy and asked her to bring all that money and gold to a place where he would be waiting for her. “We will then leave the place quietly,” he told her.

The farmer’s wife waited till it was dark and when her husband fell asleep stole all the money and gold, packed it in a bag and left the house at dawn to meet the trickster at a place he had indicated. The trickster took the bag full of money and gold from her on the pretext that he would carry it and began their journey. After two miles, they stopped because there was a river to cross.

The trickster thought, “What do I do with a woman? If someone else were to set eyes on her, I have to protect her. It is better I give her up but take the money with me.”

With these thoughts in mind he told the woman, “Look, my dear, it is very difficult to cross the river. I will first ferry the money bag to the other side of the river and keeping it there I will come back and carry you on my back.”

She said, “Okay” and gave the bag to the trickster. He asked her to give her clothes also because he said clothes would hinder swimming. She gave away her clothes also. The trickster left with the bag and her clothes.

Covering her naked body with her hands, the woman began waiting restlessly for the trickster to return. Just then a jackal with a piece of meat in his mouth happened to pass by. The jackal saw a fish that had come out of water and in trying to get at it he dropped the meat piece and ran towards it. But the fish, seeing the rushing jackal, jumped back into water. Disappointed, the jackal went back to pick up the piece of meat. But a kite dived down fast and took it away before the jackal could reach it.

The woman laughed at the jackal that had lost the fish and also the piece of meat. Hurt by the woman’s behaviour, the jackal said, “You may be twice as intelligent as I am. But what is the use? You have lost your husband, your lover and your wealth also.”

Moral:
Consider that evil woman who has no character and who always quarrels with you as a curse in the form of a wife. That man who wants to be happy should not even take her name. He who loves a woman of vice perishes like a moth kissing fire.
(This Panchatantra story is from Loss of Gains)

Next day, pretending he was going to the village nearby, he told his wife, “I have to leave the place early morning tomorrow for a village not far away from here. I may have to stay there for a few days. Please get things ready for my travel.”

The wife’s joy knew no bounds. She cooked his favourite dishes and packed some of it for his travel.

Next morning the carpenter left. His wife put on her best clothes, daubed perfume on her body and thrust flowers in her hair and spent the rest of the day with great difficulty.

When it was dusk, she went to her lover’s house and told him, “My wicked husband has left for some place and will not come back for a few days. So, come to my place after every one has gone to sleep and we will have a happy time.”

After this invitation, she returned home.

Meanwhile, the carpenter spent the day in a nearby forest and came back before his wife had returned from her lover’s place. He hid himself under a cot. Soon, his wife’s lover came and joined her. As the wife was talking to her lover on the bed, her dangling legs hit something hard. She at once thought it could be her husband hiding under the bed to test her.

“I will show my husband how clever I am,” she thought.

When her lover moved close to her, she told him through signs that her husband was under the bed and said, “Sir, you should not touch me. I am a very faithful wife. If you touch me I will turn you into ash.”

“In that case, why did you invite me,” he asked her angrily.

“Please listen, this morning, I went to the temple of the goddess where I heard a divine voice saying, “O woman, I know you are my devotee. But you will become a widow in six months.”

Then I prayed her to tell me the way by which I could save my husband and make him live for hundred years.

“There is a way which is in your hands,” the goddess told me.

“If that is so, I would give my life to save my husband”, I told the goddess.

She told me, “If you go to bed with a stranger, the danger to your husband’s life will shift to the stranger who will die soon.”

The foolish carpenter believed every word of his wife and happy that he had such a faithful wife, he came out of his hiding and told her, “O sacred woman, I paid heed to rumours about you and doubted your character. I wanted to test you and put you on the wrong track making you believe I had left the village. Now I have seen what you are. Come, let us enjoy,” he said and embraced her. In that happiness he carried his wife and the carpenter on his shoulders and paraded the streets of the village.

Moral:
People never hesitate to lose their wealth and friends for untrustworthy wife sake.
(This Panchatantra story is from Loss of Gains)

Graph By: Megan S.