i wrote my previous post as a sort of belly cry, unedited. i have been thinking about what we do when we love. sometimes love comes of need. i think this happens much more frequently than we are willi… more →
against medical adviceama wrote 3 months ago: i wrote my previous post as a sort of belly cry, unedited. i have been thinking about what we do whe … more →
ama wrote 5 months ago: the first time i had psychotherapy it was between my early and mid-twenties (i think that means i wa … more →
ama wrote 5 months ago: this is what i have been doing: i have been subjecting myself to the onslaught of memories and feeli … more →
ama wrote 5 months ago: i think i’ve always struggled with believing what i felt. my feelings have always been suspect … more →
ama wrote 6 months ago: there are unmentionable things. the body is a big unmentionable. its decays. its flaws. its smells a … more →
ama wrote 6 months ago: time’s up. she tells me it’s time and i think, no no, that’s unfair, you stole som … more →
ama wrote 6 months ago: we carry dead children with us. some of them we have killed ourselves. we have killed children becau … more →
ama wrote 6 months ago: hi. hi. will you hold me? yes. will you take my hand? yes. will you let me reach out and touch your … more →
ama wrote 6 months ago: we walk to a green luscious park together. it must be a time of day at which people don’t come … more →
ama wrote 8 months ago: i try to tell myself that whatever pain emerges from doing therapy was there already, that no new pa … more →
ama wrote 8 months ago: i long for rescue. from overwhelming restlessness, irritability, heat. the cat prowling on the bed, … more →
ama wrote 8 months ago: it is very quiet. quieter than sunday morning or any other holiday morning. this morning has a stran … more →
ama wrote 8 months ago: Since we’re not young, weeks have to do time for years of missing each other. Yet only this o … more →
ama wrote 8 months ago: therapy is treating me like a lover, holding my face in its palms, stroking my lips, peeling my clot … more →
ama wrote 8 months ago: therapy is treating me like a punching bag. like a little plaything. like a teething ring. like a te … more →
ama wrote 8 months ago: i feel deeply alone as a default. i feel alone when i know many like me and quite a few love me. i f … more →
ama wrote 8 months ago: my therapy wars, the time of radical uncertainty, suddenly came to an end, and therapy turned from h … more →
ama wrote 9 months ago: my therapist seems to have chosen for me the path of Radical Uncertainty. i like Radical Uncertainty … more →
ama wrote 9 months ago: this morning, groggy from too little sleep, i saw my therapist then immediately went downtown to hav … more →