All the details of the week can be found on the New Horizon website.

My company has been working to cut 10-15% of their white collar costs.  Cost cutting sounds very neat and tidy, but what it really means is people losing their jobs.  Roughly 1 in 10.  And yes, I'm a little nervous about it!  Looking ahead into uncertainty can elicit fear, anxiety, and uneasiness.  But through this time, God has been faithful to walk with me through my workday.  Everyday.  My ears have been shielded from many negative conversations, and at key moments I've been blissfully unaware of much of the ick going on around me.  He has sustained me, reminded me that my security is in Him.  He's brought to memory examples of his past faithfulness to help me endure the current season in my life.  He knows me.  He knows that I need Him, and He is gracious and willing to help.

I'm in "constant prayer" mode as soon as I walk in the doors, wondering who's desk I will find newly empty.  Will I be handed a box today, and walked to the door?  Who's family needs prayer today, as they get the bad news phone call?  Emontionally draining.  But with God as my stability, I also see a group of people needing hope.  This "crisis" close to home has opened my eyes to the crisis easily ignored.  The people of my city who need the same hope that only a Savior can offer.  Eternal hope.

Being more drained than usual has given God the opportunity to fill me up in more ways than I knew how to let him.  What a crazy journey I'm on.  How can I wish it were over, and be excited that it's happening, all in the same thought?  I am more firmly grounded on my savior, the Rock, the guard of my security.

Looking forward to the weekend of ministry ahead, and the workweek of ministry to return to.  God is good.  Better than I deserve.

Has God used a "crisis" or similar time to teach you something?  What was it?  How did He show His faithfulness?

i am reading this great book called 'Now What,' that really asks some interrogative questions.  Like "What is your life purpose?", "What are your dreams?" and "How are you fulfilling them now?"  I've been able to spend some time thinking about what excites me, what motivates me, where I am spending time and money, and such.  The verse above is such a reminder of His faithfulness and provision. This morning I met a man named Stefan (a neighbor and member of the church in Gig) who offered us girls his furniture for free.  Nice furniture.  A kitchen table.  A cherry wood computer desk.  A white end table.  A bed frame.

It is unreal- and in these moments I feel so undeserving, but there it is, whether I understand it or not.  God just decides to show himself through a random neighbor or through a free meal (which we had today, thanks to Diane & Jeremiah).  It's crazy being on this rollercoaster.  It's crazy being this scared, but yet, this sure about it all.

my friend christy and i were having a discussion about faith and life, and she said something that has been really spinning around in my mind.  she said, "maybe it's easier to please God than we make it out to be.  what if He's just pleased with us for the little choices we make to honor Him along with the big ones."  i listened and nodded.  "i think we need to celebrate His pleasure in us, even with all the flaws.. He delights in us in our current state."

“Surely if He would not spare His own Son one stroke, one tear, one groan, one sigh, one circumstance of misery, it can never be imagined that ever He should, after this, deny or withhold from His people, for whose sakes all this was suffered, any mercies, any comforts, any privilege, spiritual or temporal, which is good for them” (John Flavel, quoted by John Piper in “Future Grace”, page 110.)

Amen.

You can find a more detailed exposition of Romans 8:32 here http://mbcpastoringlobe.wordpress.com/2008/05/05/the-god-who-did-not-spare-his-own-son/

The Psalmist is in the midst of oppression. Wicked men are seeking to destroy him.  No one is showing mercy to him.  He feels as if he is prey awaiting the enemy to strike (Psalm 17:10-12.)

Ever been there?  At work?  At school?  God forbid, in the church?  What is our response to facing oppression?

The Psalmist doesn’t take matters into his own hands.  He certainly doesn’t stoop to the level of his enemies and sin (Psalm 17:4-5.)  He cries out to God in prayer with confidence that God will hear him and act on his behalf.

Psalm 17:6-7 (ESV) - 6 I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God; incline your ear to me; hear my words. 7 Wondrously show your steadfast love, O Savior of those who seek refuge from their adversaries at your right hand.

The Psalmist is living by faith in future grace.

Verses 13-15 seem to make this very clear:

Psalm 17:13-15 (ESV) - 13 Arise, O Lord! Confront him, subdue him! Deliver my soul from the wicked by your sword, 14 from men by your hand, O Lord, from men of the world whose portion is in this life. You fill their womb with treasure; they are satisfied with children, and they leave their abundance to their infants. 15 As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.

The Psalmist speaks here of the reward (for lack of a better word) of the wicked.  They have many children and leave their offspring great wealth, but their “portion is [only] in this life” (v. 14.)

However, the Psalmist is confident… no matter what happens here in life… that he shall “behold [God’s] face in righteousness” and “be satisfied with [God’s] likeness” (v. 15.)  The Psalmist is confident that… in the future… he will see God.  He will dwell in the presence of God.

Perhaps it is just because I am reading “Future Grace” by John Piper, but, everywhere I look in the Psalms, I am seeing this emphasis upon living life now by faith in future grace. 

I must confess this confidence in the future grace of God does not always describe me.  How about you?  Can you say like the Psalmist, “I call upon you for you will answer me, O God…”?

I find this to be particularly difficult in the face of oppression.  My visceral, knee-jerk response is to respond in my own strength rather than allowing God… who has promised to cause all things to work together for my eternal good (Rom 8:28)… to fight my battles for me.  How about you?

Even though oppression may overtake us in this life… if we are trusting in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior… then like the Psalmist we can be confident that one day we will behold His face in righteousness and be satisfied with His likeness!

May God increase our faith in His future grace!!!

This year we began with 17 children, then 19 children, then 20 children and tonight is the last night so I believe we will have a record night! 

Tuesday night was the night I taught and it happened to be the night we taught the ABCs of salvation.  They could easily repeat what each letter stood for.  But my concern was did they really understand what admit, believe and confess meant.

I asked for their impressions.  They got the admit you are a sinner pretty well.  But believe and confess was a little more vague.  We worked for a while to pinpoint just what we believed for salvation.  Then confess - well, they kinda equated that with admit.  We worked on confessing that Jesus is Lord - a lot perhaps for an 8 year old mind.  Sometimes I think its a lot for a, um somewhat older, mind to truly grasp.  Simple, yet deep.  Like the ocean, on the surface, very simple and plain, but jump in, take a look beneath and there's a whole other world.

I pray that in some way, the efforts we made this week in planting and watering will bring forth fruit in its season.

Fixin' up the room and foolin' with the kids has been great! 

The only thing that I want to say on this 100th post is this:  Let's all determine to love God and love others with everything we are and everything we have.  Worship Him!  Meet needs and connect people to Christ!

Partings

Have you ever been parted from someone you love?  A boy or girl goes off on holiday with a friend, and won't see mum and dad for a couple of weeks.  A boyfriend and girlfried will be setting off in September for different universities.  A husband is called up for service in the armed forces, and doesn't know when he'll be home again.  What is said on such occasions.  "Look after yourself…keep in touch…don't get into trouble"  The disciples were in such a situation.  John 14-16 record Jesus' parting words to them.

"I am the vine; you are the branches…remain in me…apart from me you can do nothing…This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit…Love each other as I have loved you…you are my friends if you do what I command…I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last."

Fruit and Love

The vine has just one purpose in life: its job is not to look pretty, or to fill the air with fragrance, or to provide timber to build garden furniture, but to produce grapes.  If any branch doesn't produce grapes, it's a waste of space, and so it's chopped off and thrown into the fire.  Any branch that is going to produce fruit has to be connected to the vine, and even then it is pruned so that it produces even more.  Jesus says to his disciples, "I am the true vine, and you are the branches.  I have work for you to do.  I have a task for you to accomplish.  I want you to be fruitful."

What exactly does it mean to be 'fruitful'?  Does it mean that we're supposed to walk around with bunches of grapes hanging from our ears?  Well, according to this passage it means to be obedient to our Lord's commands and, in particular, to love one another.  Now, when we think of love, we tend to think of it a some kind of disease that puts our head in a spin and makes us to crazy things.  As Faith Mills put it

I climbed up the door,
and I shut the stairs.
I said my shoes,
and took off my prayers.
I shut off my bed,
and I climbed into the light,
and all because he kissed me goodnight.

But Christian love is not a state of delerium.  It is not special kind of feeling at all.  It is about attitude and character and behaviour.

'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.'

"I want you."/"I want you to have the best."  'What does love look like? It has hands to help others. It has feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.' [Augustine of Hippo]

And that's what Jesus means by being fruitful.  "Love one another as I have loved you," v12? 

These are words both of warning and encouragement for us.  We should be warned that we have no right to call ourselves followers of Jesus Christ if we have no interest in behaving as he would want us to behave, in loving what he loves.  I can attend church twice every Sunday.  I can know by heart every hymn in the hymn book.  I can debate Christian doctrine till the sheep come home.  But what counts is Christian fruitfulness.  A pen is for writing.  A spade is for digging.  A key is for unlocking.  A vine is for grapes.  And a Christian is for spiritual fruitfulness.  "By their fruit you will recognise them," says Jesus (Mt 7:16).

Encouragement for hard-pressed disciples.  Jesus talks about his Father 'pruning' the fruitful branches.  That souns painful.  Hebrews 12 talks about 'discipline.'  'The Lord disciplines those he loves…no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.'  One of the reasons why our wise and loving God allows so many of his people to suffer as they do is that he knows that in our fallen state we too easily become complacent and lethargic.  'Pain,' says C.S. Lewis, 'is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world.'  God's plough may make deeps furrows in my soul, but only in order to produce a crop.

'I venture to say that the greatest earthly blessing that God can give to any of us is health, with the exception of sickness.  Sickness has frequently been of more use to the saints of God than health has...A sick wife, a newly-made grave, poverty, slander, sinking of spirit, might teach us lessons nowhere else to be learned so well.  Trials drive us to the realities of religion.' (Spurgeon)

Remaining in Jesus

The secret of fruitfulness is stay connected to Jesus.  "Remain in me," v4.  Interesting, isn't it, that a few hours before his death, a man can say to his friends, "Remain in me."  Even though he was about to leave them, his relationship with them was going to continue.  An absent friend: letters, emails, texts, phone calls.  Compare with the Holy Spirit, 'another Counsellor', who 'lives with  you and will be in you.'  14:16f.

And so, given this command and this encouragement, will we 'remain' in Jesus until the end?  One of the greatest challenges for Christians of all ages is to keep on keeping on in the face of distractions and disappointments.  In less than 3 weeks' time, many hopeful athletes will gather in Athens to compete in the Olympic Games.  You won't see too many runners getting halfway down the track and then stopping to give autographs.  You won't spot many swimmers getting out of the pool at the end of each length to pose for the cameras.  They want to win.  In the Christian life, everyone who finishes the race is a winner.  As Paul wrote: Gal 6:9f  'Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.'  Or, as Jesus said, "Remain in me…bear much fruit…love each other."

As for reading books.... I believe it is the responsibility of every pastor to remain on top of what's going on in the biblical/theological/practical Christian living/church world as much possible. Most times it is nigh unto impossible, but we must try. And try I do. It seems that the mountain of books and papers and journals (not to mention messages that need to be listened to) is never ending. Most days I feel like my reading list is 100,743 items long!

For your insatiably curious minds that wonder what your pastor does during the day (you know, since he only works one day a week ;) ), I thought I would give you an idea of what is at the top (but only the tip of the iceberg) of my current reading list:

Why We're Not Emergent: By Two Guys Who Should Be. This seemed to be the most recommended and positively reviewed book on the subject that I hadn't read yet; plus I told Naomi I would check it out for her! I'm halfway through it, and so far it is excellent. I could have written some of those pages....

MacArthur's Millennial Manifesto. John MacAthur's opening message at the 2007 Shepherds' Conference was titled, "Why Every Self-Respecting Calvinist is a Premillennialist." It instantly created a furor in theological circles. This is a response to that message from someone who is a Calvinist but is not a premillennialist. I'm about two-thirds through it. The first half was not terribly impressive, either in argument or content; the second half has a few redeeming qualities so far, but I think the overall thrust falls short of its intended goal.

Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy. This is a brand new book written in a devotional style around David's confession in Psalm 51. I have read the intro and the first chapter. So far it is excellent.

The Gospel According to Jesus, anniversary edition. I started this one before any of the others on this list, but it has fallen a bit lower on the shelf. I am about a third of the way through, and so far I am appreciating many of the updates MacArthur has made to this book from the first edition (I never read the second edition).

The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism. This is a new one that I have not begun yet. The reviews I've read claim this is an apologetic must. Looking forward to it...

While listening to the sermon, I was struck by another parallel:
In the opening chapter, Orpah and Ruth, being recently widowed, propose to leave their pagan homeland and go to Judah with their likewise widowed mother-in-law, Naomi. Shortly into their journey, Naomi stopped and insisted that the two younger women go back to their own familiar land and let Naomi proceed to Judah and suffer alone. It was rough for unmarried women back then. Really rough.

You know the story: Ruth refused to abandon her while Orpah decided to do what was prudent in her own eyes and return to her native land of Moab. Orpah went "back to her people and her gods." (Ruth 1:15) Who knows to what Godless debauchery she returned.

It seems that Oprah Winfrey has done the same thing as her near-namesake. Rather than proceed down that Singular, hazard-laden path of righteousness, she has appealed to her own intellect and sense of what is proper and led an opulent pagan life where god is all and in all. She appeared to walk the trail for part of the way, but when pressed, she turned back. She has, through what seems logical to her, concluded that there are many ways to get to "what YOU call god." Oprah has, I'm sure, at some point heard the Gospel. But she instead chose to live a lifestyle that on the outside appears beautiful, with the cocker spaniels, the flower-print throw pillows, the country estates, and the flourishing business. "Surely all this must be of God, right?" (The devil's distractions shine like diamonds! How else would he ensnare so many?)

Oprah has simultaneously demonstrated that it is, to her, more prudent to shack rather than marry. And to admonish others to do so as well. She has advocated single motherhood. She props up whatever guru-du-jour -- Eckhart Tolle, Rhonda Byrne, Gary Zukav, etc. -- to advance her own intellectual idea that anyone who claims to be god is God and that Truth is the individual possession of whoever sincerely believes something. Lately she has amped up her efforts in this area in her "Course in Miracles."

 And any God who says it is wrong is the only God who is not God!

I know it may sound like I don't like Oprah ( I think she has damaged men, though), I actually do. But as the point of our Ruth series is "Hope for the Hopeless," there is for Oprah and anyone swayed by her teachings hope yet.

I just thought the parallel was interesting...

Work on your own.

Nah jangan keburu mengambil kesimpulan dulu kawan. Lihat dulu jenis pekerjaan anda. Karena jenis pekerjaan yang dibayar itu ada 2 :

1. Dibayar untuk bekerja
   Ya, sudah pasti kan. Kalo orang bekerja, maka dia dibayar. Contohnya tukang sapu jalan. Kalo mereka nyapu jalan, barulah mereka dibayar. Ga nyapu, ya ga ada bayaran. Ya mirip seperti pekerjaan honorer lah. Kebanyakan tipe pekerjaan di Indonesia adalah tipe pekerjaan yang dibayar untuk bekerja. Dan kebanyakan dari kita sudah diajarkan dari kecil, bahwa kalau kita bekerja, maka kita dibayar. Makin keras kita bekerja, makin banyak kita dibayar. Itu sebabnya terkadang lembur jadi pilihan untuk tambahan uang. Banyak perusahaan besar di Indonesia pun seperti itu.
2. Dibayar untuk tidak bekerja
   Nah loh, maksudnya apa? Iya betul, ada tipe pekerjaan, yang kita dibayar untuk kita tidak bekerja. Pusing? bingung? Kenapa? Karena tipe pekerjaan seperti ini, makin kita bekerja, makin jelek kinerja perusahaan kita, atau makin banyak kesalahan yang ada dalam perusahaan kita. Contohnya seorang HelpDesk. Helpdesk itu dibayar untuk tidak bekerja. Karena kalo makin jarang mereka nerima telepon dari customer, berarti sistem yang diberikan perusahaan kepada customer tidak bermasalah. Tapi kalo makin sering mereka terima telepon dari pelanggan, maka hal ini berarti ada yang salah pada sistem perusahaan. Contoh lain lagi adalah sistem administrator bagian maintenance. Kalo makin sering mereka TIDAK melakukan maintenance, maka perusahaan makin maju. Tapi kalo sering melakukan maintenance, berarti masih ada yang salah kan. Dan orang-orang seperti ini, semakin jarang mereka terlihat bekerja, semakin senang lah pak boss. Tapi kalo orang-orang ini dilihat boss sedang bekerja, makin sangar lah wajah si boss itu. Tapi terkadang pekerjaan seperti ini jarang dimaknai oleh yang empunya pekerjaan. Mereka sering mengeluh karena bosan, ga ada kerjaan, dan merasa leha2 dan tak layak digaji untuk itu. Padahal sebenernya, mereka memang HARUS seperti itu, demi kemajuan perusahaan.

So, kita sudah tau bahwa ada 2 tipe pekerjaan, yaitu pekerjaan yang dibayar untuk bekerja, dan pekerjaan yang dibayar untuk tidak bekerja.

Maka, sadarilah tipe mana pekerjaanmu, dan kau akan mengerti tujuan dari pekerjaanmu.

Jadi, kamu ada di tipe pekerjaan yang mana?

  Saul's family achieve many things through their wealth. They lived by the sea in a very well appointed house. If fact, it might have been one of the nicest ones in the town. With their wealth, they had the newest trinkets from around the world. The were very proud of their riches and their ancestry. You see, his parents were new to this country. The brought the faith, wealth, and desire to pass on their son.

  Saul started on his parents designated path of life early in life. He went to private schools for the best teachers and not to mingle with the common blue collar workers of this seaside city. Now, don't get me wrong, Saul's hometown was great. With the economy of being one of the busiest seaport town, the city was clean and many fun things to do. In some of the letters of his that I still read, he had a great time. As they say, all good things must come to and end and it was time for Saul to go away to school. It was a sad time but it is what is expected of a Jewish young man.

  Being Jewish was one of the gifts that Saul's family handed down to him. You see his parents were very in-tuned with their Jewish religion and with that, Saul was very religious. Sometimes, it would just get on your nerves. The part that would get on my nerves was the way he would talk about us.  He had this thing against us non-Jewish people. It would sometime strain our friendship but I always prayed that one day he would got over it. He would embarrass me in public if he saw some of those Jesus shirts people wear. He will probably be 10 times worst after going to school. We will have to wait and see because his school is in Jerusalem. In his first couple letters he would even brag about how this on teacher was taking a liking to him and how well he had been taught the Bible. He would brag about his teacher being one of the best around. His name was like Gamaliel or something like that.

  He was good in school he said. Saul would talk about all the wild stuff and parties going on in the big city. He said he never went out and got into trouble but his letters were taking longer to be responded back to. This I thought would be expected because of making new friends but it seemed strange. But then a rumor was circling around town that really scare us. Saul was taking a strong disliking to my religion and was getting a little bit radical about it. The rumor was he was banding together with others that us Christians needed to be put down. My fears were coming true and I was scared what he might do. Unless he came home and be able to talk to him face to face, all I could do was pray for him.

  Then the horrific story came out. Saul was rounding up people of Christian faith and hurting them. What was just so unbelievable of him. Then a mutual friend of ours told me that he believed that up to his last breath that the Christian movement was dangerous and a threat to Judaism. His goal was to rid the the world of Christians. How could he do this. Then the most terrifying account I heard of his actions. There was a man named Stephan that was a disciple of the Christian faith and Saul approved of him being killed for his faith. He held the coats of the ones that stoned him to death. What was he thinking. I was on my knees praying for him. He was out of touch. He was so evil. He was so lost.

  About a week later, my dad told me of a story. A story that he had heard that Saul was heading to a town Damascus because he saw a report of a large group of believers were massing there and he could maybe put down this rebellion down for once and for all. What kind of hate must be eating him up. And he was even taking people with him to help him with the pain and suffering his heart told him to do. Dear God, help him. Help him please!

  Some time had passed and no news was coming out about Saul. Nobody new were he was. The sailors down at the ports did not hear of any mass killings or arrest in Damascus or any where to speak of. One Christian spoke of a great movement in the followers of Christ and it was growing quickly among the ports. What happened to Saul ? Did he get robbed along the road and left for dead. Did he change his mind? Did have a change of heart? Did our prayers work? Did he kill everyone and there were no witnesses? What has happened to Saul? I was so worried about him so I left and went to Damascus to find him.

  When I arrived to Damascus, I asked around to find Saul and no one knew him. I asked and asked and asked and still know one knew him. Then on the third day there, I was tired and get weak from my journey and stumbled upon a man with a glow about him. Again, I was tired, hungry, and thirsty. I asked this kind hearted man if he knew of Saul and due to my thirst, it came out like Paul. He said he did. Is he alive I asked and he said with the Lord. Ok, it must be the heat but I just thought he said with the Lord. So I asked him again and the kind stranger said he did. So I asked him to take me to him. He did. When we arrived to great a group of people, I saw him. He was alive. He was joyful and not full of hate. It was like he was transformed or something. I waited until he finished talked to a couple that were so full of joy and then walked up to Saul. He greeted me with a smile and such a big hug. We cryed and for some unknown reason. He looked at me and smiled. He said, I found God ! He then told me a wonderful story.

  He had received the OK to go to Damascus with his official letter to notify the synagogues of his intent to arrest the Nazarenes. While he and his two helpers were on the road to arrest the Nazarenes that were calling themselves Christians, a bright light came down from the heavens and brought them to their knees. Saul was on his knees looking into the light when he heard a voice saying, Paul, Paul, why are you persecuting me?" Saul responded, "Who is speaking to me, sir?" The voice from the brilliant light responded, " I am Jesus, the one you are persecuting!" Now get up and go to the city and await for my instructions." The men who were traveling with him also heard the voice but could not see anyone. As Saul started to stand up, he realized he had gone blind so his two fellow travelers led him to Damascus. There in town, he waited for three days without food or water waiting for God's instructions. Meanwhile, in town, there was a believer named Ananias. The Lord called upon him by announcing lhis name to him. He replied, "Yes Lord!" The Lord instructed him to go the the house of Judas and asked for Saul of Tarsus. He is currently praying to me right now and I have shown him a vision of your face. You will be laying lyour hands on him to give him back his sight. Could you imagine Ananias face? But Lord, I hear he has arrest warrents for every believer in Damascus and he is not taking back any prisoners. You know how the Lord likes to be questioned... The Lord said " Go and do what I say!" For his is now known as Paul and is my chosen instrument to take my message to the nations and before kings, as well as the people of Israel. And I will show him how much he has to suffer for me.

  Paul and I are going to have a wonderful adventure together!

Do you believe you're missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
'cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and fall apart?
'cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands

I know you're coming in the night like a thief
But I've had some time, O Lord, to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try

I know you're coming for the people like me

But we all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories
We all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories
We all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine"

~Brand New "Jesus"

I love that song. I love the honesty and vulnerability in it. I also both love and hate how I (and honestly all humans everywhere) can relate to this song. I hate how completely awful I am to my loving Jesus. 

I do get scared often and try to nail Him back up. 

...I almost couldn't breathe when I wrote that last sentence.

I hate that His love scares me sometimes and my reaction is to run.

Oh Jesus, how I need You.

Are days are often rushed. We busy ourselves trying to accomplish all we can each and every day. Mixtures of emotions follow circumstances and events. As a result, joy and sorrow swell within, peace and fear can arise. However, sometimes we forget what is the most important; and that is keeping a perfect heart before God.

*Do we take the time to seek His face and ask Him to search our hearts?

*Do we truly desire for Him to meet with us in a very personal and intimate way; or are we too consumed in the ordinary and we become one who has been passed by?

*Have we missed out on a special encounter with our Saviour because of our earthly focus?

May our hearts cry out to the Lord, day and night, for His glory to rest upon us and for His presence to consume us. He is the reason why we breath; He is the source of all our joy; He is our All-Sufficiency; and He is all we need.

"Pass Me Not, O Gentle Saviour"!

*Song played and arranged by William Stewart - my sweetie :)

Sometimes, it's kinda fun.  I love humor ( see above picture of Ruby, my alterego), and find odd things really funny.  I also love to make people laugh, whether it's something I say or doing something out of the ordinary.   Sometimes, it's really painful, like this morning when I lost my cool with the kids after constant interruptions and bickering.  I'm not a perfect mother.  Lots of cracks there.

The struggle this morning is acknowledging this same old crack that has come up again and being willing to give it back to the Lord.  I need to seek forgiveness from Him and my kids and move on.  I dwell on the cracks because I hate imperfection.  It annoys me like a scratchy shirt tag that won't lie down.  I want things smooth and seamless.  I want to be perfect and I am not.  It's funny how many times God uses my kids to remind me of this.  I have trouble not dwelling on the cracks... is this my human nature or is it part of OCD and trichotillomania?  How much grace am I allowed when I've blown my stack for the zillionth time over the same stupid thing?  God may not run out of grace or patience with me, but my family might. 

Brokenness is not weakness, nor does it doom me to a life of uselessness. I am a cracked pot.  My head knows that each broken place allows more of Christ's light to shine into the world if I allow Him to be Lord of the cracks. If I stop trying to conceal them, patch them, cover them over, they can bring glory to God.  my heart just struggles with the willingness to surrender.

Partly.

Jesus is the LIght of the World, and we are privilaged to bring Him to those in darkness.  But my attention is drawn to the word your in this verse.  Your light.  It could have said "Let His light so shine before men...," but it doesn't.  It says your.   Your light; my light.  They are as different as we are different.  But they are lights all the same, and they all point back to the same Source. 

These lights are the gifts and talents that God has lavished on us, His children.  They are the abilities we have and the things we enjoy doing the most... the things we are good at and are passionate about.  The second verse of "This Little Light of Mine" says:  Hide it under a bushel?  NO!  I'm gonna let it shine.  I have spent most of my life hiding my light under a bushel and talking myself out of the things I love and have a natural talent for.  Who needs another artist?  What could I possibly do that has not been done already?  I'm not as good as [fill in the blank], so I'll never make it.  *snuff* 

Recently I took a job as a sculptor/artist/office help for a custom wedding cake top company.  No, this is not a ministry per se.  I've never had a job where I've felt to at home.  I love going in, I love the challenge of the details, I love working with my hands.  I've spent so long bemoaning the "jack of all trades, master of none" type that I am... but here, my light was exactly what was needed.  Devine aha moment:  The way I am is not a mistake or a waste of time and talent.  God had something in mind... and has more planned.  Now I have a steady part time job that fits in with the family's schedule, and I have the courage to branch out on my own a little more.  Since then, I've picked up 3 commissioned portraits with hopes to eventually have more steady work in this area.  And always I pray that when someone sees my work, they will be reminded of the Lord. 

I took off the cover and Unbusheled my light.  My light, my unique gifting... that points back to Jesus, the artist who designed me.

It cracks me up and breaks my heart at the same time when I see or meet people who truly think they are in control of their own lives. Reallllly? That is such an American mindset. Or a mindset of anyone who is remotely prosperous. Like I was reminded the other night when our power went out because of a storm for an hour and a half... we are soooooo not in control. 

I mean at any second the stock market could fall through for some crazy reason, some crazy guy could find a loophole in our government and take over, many people we love could die in some random natural disaster, we ourselves could die, we could lose all our money... I mean there could be a million things that could happen. But since these things usually don't happen in the United States... most people at least partially believe they are in control. I mean I even sometimes start to subconsciously believe it. Yikes... I hate when that happens. 

I mean whats so good about being in control anyways? Then everything is up to you and only you. That sucks in my opinion. Because let's see.... we're sinful, so we do many, many, MANY things wrong and selfishly so if we were in control we would hurt many, many more people than we already do, including ourselves (since God often so graciously stops us from doing things to actually help us because we are about to royally screw things up). We're also incredibly limited as human beings... we only have so many strengths, many weaknesses, a extremely limited perception of the world, ourselves, and others, our bodies are incredibly fragile, and so many other things.

We are not in control.

And thats a good thing!

I hate how "churchy" and "cliche" this is about to sound but its complete, glorious truth...

God is in control, and He's so PERFECT for BEING in control. I mean well... He's perfect. haha :) He loves perfectly, He sees perfectly, He knows perfectly, He knows the past, present, and future perfectly, He is unselfish, He never ever changes (when we humans are so fickle and unchanging its ridiculous)... need I go on? :) 

Yeah, it sucks sometimes that He is in control when we are being selfish and like a child exclaiming, "But I want it now!" or "But why NOT!?". But I've often done that and its funny because every time I've done that, obviously God always does His will anyways... and it always turns out way better than what I originally wanted or ever could have dreamed! It doesn't always look good at first. Health problems, breakups, death, losing your job... whatever it may be. But it always, always,always turns out for our good and the good of the Kingdom at the same time. 

That is just cool to me. At the same time... at the same time it turns out for OUR good AND the good of the Kingdom. 

Only God could orchestrate that. :)

Enough of my ramblings... just continually find that both funny and heartbreaking that we humans often both want to be and think we are in control. We're crrrrazy. :)

My first couple of pod casts were just random ways and subjects that I had some interest in. I recorded while sitting traffic on the way home. I recorded while walking the  Race for the Cure. My children even have enjoyed recording their own shows and I have tried to tie those into my mission.

You ask, "What mission?" My simple mission statement is To bring a down to Earth understanding of Bible and Christian life. Most of all, make it repeatable.

Foolishness to the Greeks

By Lesslie Newbingin

1986. Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdsman Publishing C0

I am an avid reader, and as such, I am not always reading the current fiction. As a Biblical Counselor and teacher, I often find gems that are not on the NY Times Bestseller list. I came across this book in the Bibliography of another book I was reading on Apologetics. I found this one to be a gem.

Foolishness to the Greeks, was an expansion of the Warfield lectures given at Princeton Theological Seminary in March of 1984. Even though it is an old book, I found it to be a refreshing commentary on today’s church.

Lesslie Newbigin writes from his experience as a missionary to India for over forty years.  His focus is on Western Culture and the gospel and how, in today’s world, a Christian can present the gospel in a way that is relevant to the Post-Enlightenment world. 

Newbigin begins by looking at the Post-Enlightenment Western World as a cultural mission’s problem.  He shows how Western ideas have permeated the church and rendered it somewhat ineffective. His view is not pessimistic, however, for he explains how the gospel does not accommodate cultures and is different from what most folks in the West think. He paints the Biblical Worldview as iconoclastic; it has something to say to everyone, everywhere, in any time; usually in criticism. The reason is that all men are tainted with sin and cannot, in their own strength, ever develop a utopian society. Being men, they will always corrupt it. Newbigin also looks at both sides of the Christian spectrum and shows where they are off the page in seeking to “help” God bring in the Kingdom.

Readers need to be open to changing their cherished views, even in their own understanding of their particular denomination. Denominations, says Newbigin, were not in the original design and are in fact a Western concept.

Not only does he dialogue with science and politics, but also he articulates seven ways in which Christians can re-engage their cultures and restore Christianity’s place in the world. It is not going backward, only forward, for as times change and people change, the gospel needs to be presented in a relevant context for today.

While this is an older book, it speaks cogently and effectively to today’s issues.  As a quick read, it can get you thinking about how effective you are as a Christian. I would recommend this book to anyone seeking to do his or her best as a 21^st century Ambassador for Christ. To get your own copy, click here.

Cathy is a busy single mom and frequently works on Sundays, thereby missing church a lot.  All of her co-workers know she is different, both because of her conduct and because of her frequent comments about her faith.  She gives what she can to the church and she spends Saturday mornings at the food pantry showing her daughter what it means to serve the poor.   She keeps mostly to herself as her time is very precious, but she always prays and reads the Bible before going to bed.  She never lets the worries of the day seperate her from God and she is always thankful for what God has given to her.

From the fellow church-goers perspective, Joe appears to be a much stronger Christian than Cathy, but is that really the case?  Does being a Christian mean that you adhere to the set of traditions popularized in America over the past 2 centuries or does it mean that in everything you do, you desire for your life to be a sweet aroma to God?