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A Proper and Meaningful Apology

On occasion exceptional leaders will mess up to a point where they need (or should) apologize for a mistake they make. Unfortunately, most apologies seem to leave you empty - you just don't feel like the one who is apologizing truly means what they say.  You feel they are saying what they have to say just to get out of hot water and to move on ... like when your sales manger misses their quarterly sales forecast by a bunch.

A less than meaningful apology is shallow - but it is easy and convenient for those who lack in character !

Randy Pausch's book - page 162 - addresses 3 parts to a proper apology. Follow his advice and you shouldn't go wrong. But more importantly, do what you can to avoid being put in a position where an apology is necessary.

If you have a serious need to learn how - or to teach one of your subordinates - to properly apologize over an issue, I'd recommend you read The One Minute Apology: A powerful way To Make Things Better by Ken Blanchard and Margret McBride

Leaders have an obligation to make their people and their teams better at what they do and how they do. A proper apology is often overlooked as an import part of building trust and credibility with teammates.

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The true test of a person’s character is revealed not in the absence of what they greatly fear, but rather in the presence of what they fear. The real nature of a person is known not when he is restricted from what is bad or evil, but when he decides and chooses to do good and what is right in spite of the evil he or she may find themselves. To fully comprehend the idea behind this statement, it’s important we talk a little bit about the true meaning of character.

How can we possibly know what a person can or cannot do if we deny them the opportunity to do and restrict them from the freedom of doing? If we so desire to know the true nature of people, we must then be prepared to take the risk of removing the limitations placed on them by our physical presence. For we can only know what we do not know about a person when we give them the freedom to reveal their real self. Until we can create the room for people to exercise their freedom, we will never be able to tell or know the limits of their actions. It is in freedom that a person’s real nature is fully expressed and revealed. Not in restriction.

For instance, how do you know if someone truly loves you if they have never been given a room to hate you? How do you tell whether your kids truly obey you; if they have never been in a position to disobey? People naturally will behave in a manner parallel to our expectations of them. We know the real nature of someone when we give room for doubt, that is, we have no form of expectation whatsoever from them. This is what God the creator did with mankind. He created us, showed us both good and evil and then gave us the freedom, choice, freewill, and liberty to choose whichever we preferred of the two. He never kept us away from the evil just because he wanted us to always do good; he let the two go together because only then would our true nature be revealed. You can’t be hiding evil from a person and think the person is a good person. A man’s character is only revealed when he is exposed to what he greatly fears.

This is the bottom line; until a person is actually given the freedom to exercise his or her choice completely, every other thing we think we know about that person is only an assumption. Until you are willing to let go, take the risk, embrace doubt, expect the unexpected by letting loose your lover, your kids, your workers, you will never know for sure what they are really capable of doing. The true knowledge of a person’s intention can only be known by removing all forms of restrictions that may hinder them from being tempted. Exposure to temptations is what truly reveals a person’s true nature. How would a man really know if his wife truly loves him and is faithful if he never allows her to be in the company of other men? How would a parent determine the extent at which they have gone in bringing up a child if they wouldn’t let the child out of their sight for once? How would I know what you could do with a gun if I never allowed you to come in contact with one?

Philip Yancey, author of Disappointment with God certainly was right when he said “a person can only learn obedience when tempted to disobey; can only learn courage when tempted to flee.” It’s only by exposure to temptation and not prevention from it that a person’s true character can be tested.

So where have I been? Right here. In Tulsa. On Tuesday I had the opportunity to spend the day with an incredible friend of mine; Yacouba Seydou. He is the man who created the organization that I traveled to Niger with.

Yacouba has an amazing story to share about his own life that challenges me to look at life here on earth differently. Yacouba was born in Niger and raised Muslim as the overwhelming majority of people in that country are. Given the opportunity to come to the United States to study agriculture under a USAID grant Yacouba spent sometime working in the Nigerien government. Then in the early 1990s he had the opportunity to come to the US again to work on a Master's degree. This time after finishing his studies he stayed in the US working at a meat packing plant in western Kansas.

One night while lying in bed Yacouba was visited by Jesus Christ in a vision. Jesus appeared dressed in white and surrounded by a great light. He reached out his hand and placed a wafer in Yacouba's mouth. The vision unnerved Yacouba and he decided to go to the store and find something to eat. While at the store a man introduced himself to Yacouba as a pastor at a local church. Yacouba began attending church learning about the Bible and Jesus.

Over time Yacouba began to feel that God was calling him back to his country to minister to the people there. He attended ORU for a short while, but eventually felt that God was calling him to just go.

There is something remarkable about people who have come literally face to face with Jesus. They are undeterred by "religion" or "theology". Their faith is built upon an unmovable conviction that indeed Jesus is alive and powerful. That Jesus is working to spread the message of his love and grace to everyone using anyone and anything he pleases. In fact, what appear to be obstacles are really opportunities for the power of Jesus to be shown to all those involved.

So this past Tuesday I found myself in an unusual spiritual condition. Faced with the reality of my own lack of faith in many areas, I repented of cheapening Jesus and his power. I realized that all the things I thought I controlled; I really don't. In fact, control is really an illusion. Do I control how much money I make? Maybe a little, but there are all those unexpected things that pop up as a reminder that No I don't control my money as much as I think. Do I control how and what others think? I may be able to alter perceptions about myself but the bottom line is that I can't control what or how others think; about myself, about others, or really about anything.

So I have associated an old word with my new thinking. Pussyfooting. I have been pussyfooting around with the Truth. And by doing so...I have greatly limited the power of Jesus to work in and through me.

I am truly sorry.

How are you pussyfooting with the gospel?

* Parts of Yacouba's story are taken from a written account compiled by Dr John Stamm.

that leads to achievement.

Nothing can be done without

hope and confidence.

Helen Keller

There is no secret to happiness, it is a decision, a choice we make every day. It is a choice to see the best in someone, find the positive in a situation, to work hard, do what is good for those around you, and to live a balanced life according to your values.

On a scale of one to ten where do you see yourself on the happiness scale with ten being extremely happy?  Not sure, leaning closer to the lower side of the scale, or possibly have never thought of a happiness scale before?

Most happy people are not all happy by nature and possibly did not always want to be positive, always find the best in someone and all the steps necessary but were willing to move toward happiness.

I don’t believe I am happy by nature, however I am happy today.  This came from motivation and wanting to be happy. I remember thinking how great it would be to be happy by nature. I began to take steps to be happy and made a conscious decision to look at the positive in a situation and in people.

I have confidence in myself today to continue my life happy. I have faith it is within your reach as well if you make the decision and are willing to take the necessary steps.

Never give up hope, make a decision to be happy and associate with positive and happy people.

Make yourself a ten today on the happiness scale.

Susie Austin

There are many diverse denizens of Daedonas, each with their own strengths and weaknesses, the greatest strength and weakness of the Kinken are one in the same, trade. The Kinken are the most numerous and influential people of the Crescent Lands. With a high birthrate and the ability to adapt to many different climes the Kinken can be found almost anywhere, from the western highlands to the east coasts, living in anything from rural villages to ancient cities. Although not considered adept mentally or physically the Kinken’s make up for this is in their numbers and their innate understanding of trade and obsessive pursuit of wealth. This pursuit has led the Kinken to spread out all over the crescent lands, both peacefully and aggressivly, their settlers are far reaching and farms, hamlets and Kinken villagers are everywhere. This has led to the displacement of many Rohrak, Braymun, Grungi and Kukri, and has always led to much war and strife between other denizens and other Kinken. In the city they are the majority of the population and directly influence both government and trade, even if they aren't always leading it.

Living an average lifespan of up to 60 years, most Kinken spend their lives in squallid conditions, eeking out a farming life fighting beasts, other denizens and rival Kinken for each acre of land. The city folk Kinken are the labourers and craftsmen. Those that excel in trade do rise above their kin and live in the more structually safe higher reaches of the ancient cities. Being an avian genus, the Kinken are born from eggs, there are generally more females then males and leadership of the kindreds rests on a male figurehead, but since there are so many females an incompetant  leader doesn't hold his station for long.

Then it occurred to me. That’s how it is with the Heavenly Father. We often want to know why things happen the way they do. There are some things you’re just better off not knowing. His ways are higher, his thoughts are higher. God’s infinite wisdom and sovereignty is far too great for our human minds to conceive.

And lastly.. I have begun working on some of the ideas I have had written down over the years.. This one is for The Scarf Collector.. which is a little darker than you would assume from the sketches but I guess for me cute/evil go hand in hand at times.. And I would also like to thank novembermoonfor putting 2 images into her flickr mosaic as it has sent me new traffic :)

Toodles! Also if you are interested in one of the items seen here let me know or it will go into the store soon.. Kraken jars will also be increasing in price according to my new pricing scheme, there is one left at the lower price but all newer ones will be priced higher and when they are in the store the last one will be put up to the new price.

Do you think God had this problem? There's was God, sitting up in heaven, tapping his fingers on a cloud, stuck in the plot. "Let's see, I've got this character wandering in the woods...hmmm, where's the drama? What's this character want? What this story needs is some conflict! Ooo. I know, I'll make another character! They'll fall in love! I like a good romance."

Then came that pesky snake, always a critic, saying, "You sure you want to do that? I don't know if I'm buying this. It's a bit, you know, predictable."

"Well, smarty skin, you write it if you think you're so clever."

So the snake writes himself into the storyline. "You've got to be kidding me," said God. "Do you even understand what I'm trying to do? Don't you get it? Now I'm going to have to start over!" Sipping his coffee (because, yes, there was coffee before the beginning of the world), God hemmed and hawed and said, "I know. Let's get these characters out of this garden. Nothing ever happens there."

And God cut and paste Eden into an entirely new document, and created this known earth. Naturally, God isn't sure he didn't make a mistake. Maybe he should've stayed with that original garden plot, but he doesn't want to start all over again, and he's got so many ideas...

So, we can see what a plot tangle God's gotten into. Makes my plot mess seem, well, insignificant.

A pedido de meus amigos homens. ¬¬

Ludmilla, filha de William e Constantine.

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My male friends asked me for this series. ¬¬

Ludmilla, the daughter of William and Constantine.

A pedido de meus amigos homens. ¬¬

Constantine, a segunda esposa de William Crowford.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

My male friends asked me for this series. ¬¬

Constantine, the second wife of William Crowford.

A pedido de meus amigos homens. ¬¬

Helena, a segunda filha de William e Rossana.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

My male friends asked me for this series. ¬¬

Helena, the second daughter of William and Rossana.

A pedido de meus amigos homens. ¬¬

A primeira filha de William e Rossana, Catarina. E sua filhinha, Mina.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

My male friends asked me for this series. ¬¬

The first daughter of William and Rossana, Catarina. And her little daughter, Mina.

A pedido de meus amigos homens. ¬¬

Rossana, a primeira esposa de William Crowford.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

My male friends asked me for this series. ¬¬

Rossana, the first wife of William Crowford.

Lars quando ficar velho... ¬¬

Baseado numa foto do ator Alan Rickman.

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Lars, when he gets old... ¬¬

Based on a photo of the actor Alan Rickman.

I hope this isn't taken the wrong way, but by the end of How Fiction Works, I felt as though I had just read a very wise guide to parenting. I had been reminded of the important things in life, or at least the important things when dealing with one's own creations: Respect them. Give them room to blossom. Don't natter on; that sounds like nagging. "Tutor" or "teach" (Wood's verbs); don't "lecture." Be persuasive rather than dictatorial.

The full review is here: http://www.slate.com/toolbar.aspx?action=print&id=2195714

Wood's book at Amazon is here: http://www.amazon.com/How-Fiction-Works-James-Wood/dp/0374173400/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216852430&sr=8-1

Lars e William posando, só para se divertir.

Inspirado no traço da mangaka Youka Nitta.

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Lars and William posing as fashion models, only to get fun.

Inspired by the art of the mangaka Youka Nitta.

Lars antes, Lars depois. Houve um momento estranho em sua vida... e ele descoloriu (!)

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Lars before and after. There was a strange moment in his life... and he get uncoloured (!)

As a Pastor it got me wondering - would I have done the same? In my safe, comfortable world that I live in - what am I putting myself on the line for? What am I risking? In my more honest moments - probably not very much.

Jesus said 'Greater love has no man than to lay down his life for a friend' & that 'whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it'. It certainly challenges me - how about you?

Here are some immediate thoughts that come to mind...

Being brave is instinctive.

To be considered brave means you must be in the arena where danger lurks.
I can be brave in my own strength but it is more powerful if God is involved.
How brave am I willing to be - to see people impacted by Jesus?
Bravery is not for the faint-hearted.
I long for the taste of victory but I must acknowledge that sometimes, if not more often, I will experience the taste of defeat. Either way, I am going to give it a go.

As Roosevelt said:
"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

[How would you rate yourself on the bravery stakes? What would you be willing to die for?]

Daniel Joseph Maldonado, an American convert, was arrested by the Kenyan military in January 2007 and handed over the US authorities. In April he pleaded guilty to a charge of receiving training from a foreign terrorist organization and was sentenced to ten years imprisonment in June. In this first-hand account from his cell in Houston’s Federal Detention Centre he describes the circumstances around his migration to Somalia, the tragic death of his wife Umm Musa and his subsequent arrest in Kenya and imprisonment there and in the US.

• Read More
  

Courtesy of Maktabah . Net

What is it? What is it that keeps me from being fully devoted in every aspect of my life?

But Daniel resolved  not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way.  Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to Daniel, but the official told Daniel, "I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your food and drink.  Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age?  The king would then have my head because of you."(Daniel 1:8-10)

Could it be that I am afraid that my devotion will result in lack?  A highly visible lack.  A gaunt and skinny life that portrays devotion to God as something that robs instead of enriches.  Daniel resolved not to defile himself with this (no doubt) exquisite, royal food that had likely been sacrificed to false gods and idols.  And in this resolve, we find a holy confidence--knowing that his purity and obedience will not subtract anything from his life.  He will not be worse off than the other young men his age.  To the contrary, staying steadfastly committed to God against all odds brought favor and anointing upon Daniel. 

My citizenship is in heaven.  I live as an alien and a stranger here.  And the world daily offers me a portion of "royal food" in the form of distasteful entertainment, ungodly relationships, selfish ambition, love of money, and so on.  Rich, delicious...and profane!  And, if I'm honest, there is a part of me that desires to partake of it for fear of "looking worse" than others.  Oh that I would resolve to not defile myself!  In every area in which I am faithful, in those same areas I will find that I am "healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food" (v. 15).  "Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing" (Psalm 34:9).

As I have meditated on these passages, God has shown me my heart.  I compromise, I go with the flow. But God is looking for a Daniel heart with Daniel faith.  Boldly refusing anything that defiles.  Consecrating myself with holy confidence.  Fearlessness.  Security in my identity as a worshiper of the one true God.  In chapter 5, just before Daniel reads the writing on the wall, he says to the king, "You may keep your gifts for yourself and give your rewards to someone else.  Nevertheless, I will read the writing for the king and tell him what it means" (v. 17).  I admire Daniel's utter disinterest in anything the king has to offer.  May I have the same disinterest in anything the world has to offer.  Daniel was only concerned with being faithful to God at all costs and doing what he had been gifted to do.

I want that to be true of my life.

Now imagine if it took you that long to get mail. Almost an hour of work to get a few pieces of paper stuffed in a box. Would you go through that? This man doesn't know it but he's taught so much about perseverance, determination, and to accept that challenges as they arise so we can overcome them. This old man, taught me that life really matters as long as you keep trying.

What I did was try to transform Leah's active search for David into something more passive. For example, when she is waiting for school to start in the morning, she sees David exiting the school bus. When the bell rings, Leah hesitates following the crowd into the school building in the hope of getting close to David. In the last draft of the text, she does this in a rather active way, but I tweaked the scene now so that she behaves more passively. When David approaches her, drawn forward by the crowd, I describe Leah standing still, waiting for him to notice her and say something to her. He doesn't, of course, and she is disappointed.

Later in the day, at lunch, Leah doesn't search for David in the cafeteria, but when she sits down at her usual table outside on the patio, she fantasizes about David searching for her, finding her alone, and spending his lunch hour with her. Again, I've set up Leah to be the passive recipient of David's action--even if it's all in Leah's imagination.

Perhaps this is more "passive-aggressive" than simply "passive," but it is more in line with her character. Leah, in her interactions with other people, prefers to let them speak to her. She responds rather than initiates; she reacts to others instead of acting upon them.

I got this from Jolene's blog. She gave permission to steal it, so I wouldn't have to feel guilty. If you would like to copy it and do it on your blog, you are welcome to as well.

thought this sounded like too much fun to pass up.

You're IT! GO! Describe Me as you see me with just one word. Let's be honest now!