Homewrecking hussy Sienna Miller's not too happy about British newspapers printing pictures of her cavorting with a married man. According to People.com, the actress is suing photo agency Big Pictures and News International, publisher of the "News of the World" and "Sun" newspapers.  The pictures showed her topless with married actor Balthazar Getty ("Brothers and Sisters") off the Amalfi coast.

I'm sorry, but you know what honey? Karma's a bitch and she's tired of your ass hopping from man to man, breaking up families (Getty has 4 children with his now estranged wife) and causing trouble. How about you take some time off from dudes and just focus on your career? Cause lord knows, it needs some help.

Madame Tussauds unveiled a Tyra Banks wax figure in NYC today and I have no doubt that Tyra personally gave them this wig and demanded that the figure smiles with her eyes.

After stalking the X-Files  premiere, my mom and I headed over to Hollywood & Highland Shopping Center, where lo and behold, a camera crew was filming the TLC show Ten Years Younger.  The crew happened to be looking for people to do on-camera interviews about the contestant post-makeover and of course, I said SIGN ME UP!  :)  I was interviewed by the host of the show who asked me a couple of questions about how old I thought the contestant looked.  SO EXCITING!  :)  Hopefully you will be able to see me in the episode and I won't end up on the cutting room floor!  LOL 

Until next time, Happy Stalking!  :)

Stalk It: For the best chance of seeing a movie premiere in person, I recommend stalking Grauman's Chinese Theatre on a weekday in the late afternoon.  Grauman's Theatre is located at 6925 Hollywood Boulevard in Hollywood.  Ten Years Younger  is holding all of its "Man on the Street" type interviews at Hollywood & Highland Shopping Center this season, so if you're at the mall, chances are you could wind up on TV!   The shopping center is located right on the corner of Hollywood Boulevard and Highland Avenue in Hollywood.  Ten Years Younger  airs Fridays at 10/9 Central on TLC.  I am on the 11th episode of the season, which should air in about 7 to 8 weeks.

Did Jessica Simpson oil her lips with dick glaze? I'm just sayin' = them shits are SHINY!!

But, she's workin' that red dress. Me likes!

Here is Jess leaving the Ritz Carlton Hotel and heading over to the Steiner Studios in Brooklyn on July 24th.

Miami Florida has always attracted celebrities. Julio Iglesias, Gloria Estefan, the Bee Gees have been Miami’s residents for decades. Most Miami homes that belongs to celebrities or media personalities are located in the exclusives Star Island, North Bay Road, and Indian Creek.

Nowadays, celebrities living in Miami usually are for all regions of the world including, of course, the U.S. and Latin American. Besides, there is not a specific type of celebrity. For instance, musicians, actors, TV hosts, and more love the sunny city of Miami. Among celebrities that owned Miami waterfront homes and Miami houses: Lenny Kravitz, Ricky Martin, Enrique Iglesias and Anna Kournikova, Billy Joel, Jennifer Lopez and hubby Marc Anthony. In Star Island, you will Shaquille O'Neal, Rosie O'Donnell, Gloria and Emilio Estefan, while Andy Garcia calls Key Biscayne home. Other celebrities that call Miami their home are Matt Damon and Nicolas Cage.

These popular celebrities in Miami can be seen around Miami Beach and South Beach driving their luxury cars.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Julio Iglesias House in Miami"][/caption]

If you are planning to visit Miami, Florida, and do not have hotel reservations, check out this selection of vacation rentals in South Beach.

Calendar of Miami Events 2008

July / August / September / October / November / December

According to People.com, former "American Idol" runner-up Clay Aiken recently returned from a trip to Somalia and Kenya, and is blogging about it on UNICEF's website. In a post, Aiken talks about the violence during the country's election earlier this year, and how it left thousands of children homeless. He also points out that even though there's been a decrease in the country's unrest, many children have not been able to return to school.

With Aiken set to become a father next month (via artificial insemination) with his friend, music producer Jaymes Foster, and this latest humanitarian effort (he also started the Bubel Aiken Foundation to benefit children with disabilities), it looks like he's after Angelina's gig as the head humanitarian/parent/saint in Hollywood. Wonder who his Brad will be?

“Dancing is more than just a way of moving,” Brown said. “It’s a different expression of music. That’s what I want to focus on with this show.” 

Couple 1: (Courtney and Will) --

Samba (First Performance):

Judges: Nigel said that he feels tonight is going to be a great night, and boy was he right. "When you get out of technique, it was fantastic and the chemistry was really good," said Nigel. Mary said "Where's Ashton because I feel I am being punked... these two contemporary dancers are salsa dancers. Wow!" Guest judge, Toni Basil, said "every dance style takes a lifetime to master, but I was so entertained, I almost forgot I was judging."

Lyrical Hip Hop (Second Performance):

Judges: Nigel said he was emotionally effected by this routine because it was very beautiful. Mary agreed and said "you are two tremendous dancers, so I really have high expectation or you... Unfortunately, you didn't met them -- you BLEW them away!" Toni said it was a great act that makes you feel something and she is glad to have seen it on this show. She then adds "America will never feel the same about dance again after seeing this show."

Couple 2: (Katee and Twitch) --

Contemporary (First Performance):

Judges: Personally, this was my favorite performance of the night! The technicality, artistry, and musicianship with this dance is incredible! Nigel said "the performance was just fantastic... What goes on through Michaels mind, he jokes. He adds that this was danced brilliantly - wonderful characters and entertaining. Mary said these are probably two of the best dancers the show has seen on this stage. Toni Basil said that she didn't take any notes on this performance either - "I loved it," she said.

Broadway (Second Performance):

Judges: Nigel said that he loved this performance -- "Twitch, you blow we away with your dancing and Katee, you are such and beautiful and entertaining dancer," he admits. "That was just terrific," Mary exclaims. She adds that the performance was magnificent and it doesn't even look like work out there for you two. Toni said she believed they both did wonderful, she felt Katee may have had a slightly more difficult time to evoke the character than Twitch.

Couple 3: (Comfort and Mark) --

Hip Hop (First Performance):

Judges: Another one of the hottest performances of the night! Nigel said "Comfort, you are absolutely incredible... what surprised me was how good you were Mark!" Mary told them that they did a great job and the synchronizations were on point. "Comfort, you were hitting it tonight because you are a great dancer. Mark, you did a good job tonight as well," she said. Toni said "the opening piece was fabulous, joyful, and terrific... I think you all brought everything together."

Fox Trot (Second Performance):

Judges: Everyone should have figured that the judges were not going to be the greatest fan of this from the start. Nigel said "... lady luck walked in with hip hop and walked out during this routine. It was slightly amateur," he adds. Mary agrees and said that nothing was melting in this routine. Toni agreed with the other two judges and said "Mark, your lines were good, but this just okay... Your hip hop routine was fabulous though."

Couple 4: (Chelsie and Joshua) --

Argentine Tango (First Performance):

Judges: Nigel said they picked the most technical of all dance routines thus far... Chelsie, your legs are amazing and Josh you do have the biggest 'bum.' Loved the performance!" Mary exclaimed "you are still on the Hot Tamale Train!" She adds that when Josh came out, he set the mood of it all and that Chelsie was so sexy." Guest judge Toni said she needed to feel like it was spontaneous and it was. She admits that she saw at least one mistake from Josh, but it was still amazing.

Disco (Second Performance):

Judges: Nigel starts by saying that Josh's strength is Dorianna Sanchez's dream because those are lifts very strong people can do. He also says while that is amazing, it is great that Chelsie had the courage to do it. Mary says "you two are out-of-sight tonight!" Toni says "this performance brought back the spirit of disco and you two have the strength, versatility, and lines."

Top 8 Dancers (SOLOS):

1.) Comfort -- Good solo, but needs more versatility and movement

2.) Will -- I always love his solos... NOT this time though.

3.) Katee -- This woman is extremely versatile and one of the best dancers on this entire season!

4.) Mark -- Very interesting solo; sometimes interesting isn't that good.

5.) Chelsie -- Thought the solo could have been better; still a STRONG competitor though.

6.) Josh -- Finally a solo that I love. I will be surpirsed if he doesn't make it to the finale.

7.) Courtney -- Another solo that is worth praising.

8.) Twitch -- The crowd loves Twitch and so do I, but I wanted something more from his solo.

Prediction of Bottom Two Girls:

1.) Comfort

2) Courtney (difficult to pick the second girl)

Prediction of Bottom Two Guys:

1.) Mark

2) Twitch (extremely difficult to select the second guy)

Who will be eliminated this week?

Last week, I said that Comfort and Gev would be eliminated last week, but I was surprised when I found out it was Kherington. Comfort is definitely a fighter - This week, I think her fight will end. The remaining girls are more versatile, although I love Comfort and wish her will. I believe the guy going home will be Mark. He has an interesting dance style, but I believe the other men are too strong and has to large of a fanbase to be eliminated.

Ok, so even though I'm a lesbian DJ...I actually don't know Samantha Ronson...or L.L. for that matter. I am, however, pretty excited about their lovey-dovey, now public relationship. It's been forever since I've heard anything bad about Lindsay! I hate to buy into all the awe and amazement of Lindsay Lohan being in a homosexual relationship, but they just look so darn happy in every picture! And you know people are trying their hardest to capture the "not so happy" moments in attempt to spoil this cute couple's happiness.

Cheers, ladies! Keep it real.

'Ello fuckers.  I'm Amy Winehouse.

Speakin' o' which, that's ain't me up in that pic up there.  I gots me a wax person made o' meself recentsly.  It's pretty accurate, doncha agree?  I mean, I'm skinnier'n that but damn, they mades me look good.  I can't wait til Blakesy is out of the lockup so he can see myself at Tussauds.  They real gots all the details down pat, even that tattoo on me arm.  Looks jest like me, doesn't it?  I thinks they shoulda put more bags o' coke on me though.  It's not really me.

Anyway, I've been hangin' low latesly.  With my emphysema an' all.  I pufohmed still fo' some bloke's birthday or whatever.  And Blakesy is goin' back to the lockup.  Fuckkk.  The docs' been sayin' that I really needs to get off my blow or crack or somethin'.  I'd'es know fo' sure whether r not they know that Amy neeeds her white stuff to live.  But I'm glads that I'm finally gettin' some good news 'bout me with this wax thing.  At least she ain't eva gonna go to rehab.

XOXOXO

Amy

(Photograph via Rediff News)

But we all lead regular lives. If you are out running errands and look a little short of fabulous, I get it. You should see me during early morning Starbucks runs.  So, I'll give you a little leeway.

Only a little leeway, though. Julianne Moore would need A LOT of leeway in this outfit. There is not one single thing that is flattering about this dress. I honestly can't pick one single thing. If I was being waterboarded, I could relent with, "Black is a stylish color," or "The bag certainly looks roomy."

Not even torture could get me to like those shoes. In fact, those shoes ARE torture! Are the Doc Marten flip-flops? Combat slip-ons? Goodyear lace-ups?

But just because you don't get a movie star paycheck or have a multi-million dollar house in the Hills, doesn't mean you can't outfit your nursery like the stars. Going green in your nursery isn't about blowing your baby's college fund: It's about making smart choices! As you're outfitting your newborn's nursery, consider the following for creating your own green nursery of the stars:

• Paint: Choose eco-friendly paints that are zero- or low-VOC. You can find fabulous colors in natural and milk-based paints.
• Crib:The most eco-friendly thing to do is get a hand-me-down from family & friends. If that's not an option, look for cribs made from sustainably grown wood and free of toxic finishes, like the Radius Maple Cribby EcoBaby.
• Mattress: Conventional mattresses are full of chemicals and toxins that you do not want your newborn exposed to. Eco-friendly crib mattresses use natural rubber, organic cotton and pure wool to create a supportive, naturally fire-resistant sleeping area.
• Bedding: Choosing organic cotton or bamboo crib bedding doesn't mean resigning yourself to blah colors anymore. There are plenty of hip, trendy designs out there that dress up your crib without funky dyes and chemicals.
• Toys: Fill your toy box with clean, non-toxic wood and organic fabric toys. Look for solid wood toys finished with a natural finish oil. Baby can happily cuddle, hug and chew on cloth stuffed animals, rattles and dolls made of organic cotton or wool.
• Cleaners: You’ve gone to a lot of work to create a safe, green haven for your baby, now don’t go ruining it all by using conventional toxic cleaners. Today’s variety of natural, non-toxic cleaners work better than ever and will leave your changing table sparkling, without the use of smelly chemicals.

Pink was spotted leaving a studio on her Triumph motorcycle in Los Angeles on July 22nd. I know she is saving a hell-of-a-lot on gas!

Naming Hurricanes is a rather recent phenomenon. After the success of the Star Registry's efforts to charge people to name stars in the sky, The National Weather service decided that they could net a huge profit and charge a much heftier amount to attach monikers to these fierce forces of nature, based solely on the fact that there are only on average fifteen or so a season and that people would pay top dollar for the publicity it afforded the storm's namesake. As they say, there's no such thing as bad publicity (unless of course you happen to be a Nazi). So in 1970 the National Weather Service sold the naming rights of the first Hurricane to Yoko Ono, which has subsequently been blamed for the breakup of The Beatles, and to a lesser extent The Captain and Tennille.

Hurricane Yoko Ono In Action

Ever since it's been totally trendly to attach your name to a violent storm in the hopes that it will increase awareness of particular projects-like forcing band breakups or telling your ex that you got engaged. Unfortunately, this is mostly a crapshoot, because not all tropical storms can be hurricanes. Such was the case with one of the biggest publicity failures that occurred when the "I Can Read Books" company ponied up big loot to name one of 1978's storms "Amelia" in order to promote it's children's release Amelia Bedelia Helps Out. Well as the story goes, Tropical Storm Amelia only lasted two days and made minimal headlines. The book release was subsequently pushed back to 1979. Conversely, 2005's Hurricane Rita was a devastating Category 5 Hurricane that made headlines nationwide, but could do little in the way of reviving Comedienne Rita Rudner's career.

The Book At The Heart of The First Huge Hurricane Publicity Failure

There have been plenty of successful pairings such as 2004's Hurricane Charley which caused Flowers For Algernon to re-enter the required reading list for many a junior high curriculum in the mid-Atlantic states and lest we not forget Hurricane Gloria, which dramatically drove up record sales for Laura Branigan's 1982 single of the same name, albeit in 1985.

Whether or not you're trying to drum up publicity for a presidential campaign or you simply want to see your name on the cover of a national newspaper that reads "(Your Name) Leaves Death and Destruction in it's Wake", you can rest assured that putting your name on a hurricane is the friendly and trendy way to get people talking about (your name here).

Here is a delightful thought for your Thursday afternoon! Fitness master and supreme god of the tacky workout videos Richard Simmons alluded to his dreams of someday being a member of the US Congress. He's already at the Capitol--today he testified to the House Education and Labor Committee about childhood obesity. Here is what went down. This, of course, comes from CNN's Political Ticker.

In a half-serious, half-jocular tone, Simmons described his approach to the hearing, saying, "I want to have the respect of a congressman, I want to talk like a congressman, and maybe, someday, I'll be a congressman."

But you already have our respect RS! People don't respect congressmen and women that much. In fact, they are the least liked branch of government! I bet more people watch your workout videos (god love them) than C-SPAN. Then, he cited Jesse Ventura as an example of celebrity-gone-politician. Just me, but if I was going to make a case for that, I don't think I would use "The Body" as my example. Maybe Ronald Reagan? Whatev. He continued,

"After this congressional hearing, I will go home," Simmons said, "I will talk with my Dalmatian dogs, I will pray to God and then I'll see what else I can do to help."

He would have dalmatians. And he would talk to them.

I personally think it would be kind of fun to have him in the House, as long as he's right on with his policy and votes the way I want him to. Haha. I mean, this man has made millions of middle-aged people get off the couch and sweat to oldies, all while prancing around saying "I'm a pony! I'm a pony!" in short shorts. If elected, do you think he would wear a suit? The idea of Richard Simmons in anything other than shorts shorts just seems...unethical. That aside, just think of all the things he could inspire his fellow members of Congress to do! To prove how Richie can move mountains, I found a youtube video of his epic workout tapes, but somebody updated it and put it to the greatest song ever recorded--"Walk It Out" by DJ Unk. Haha. Anyway, enjoy. And in the great words of JFK, ask not what your country can do for you, but what Richard Simmons can do for your country.

[Posted by Kathleen]

Kerri Hilson has worked with the Circus Whore and surprisingly, she's still sane. Check out the video of Hilson speaking about her experience with Shitney.

“I do have ugly friends, but I don’t go out with them at night.” — Brittany, Queen Bees

mollygood.com

In the wild world of white trash, Kid Rock was sentenced for his part in a brawl at an Atlanta Waffle House last fall. Rock (aka Robert Ritchie) was sentenced to a year of probation and fined $1,000. Today, CNN.com has the surveillance video of Rock's Wa-Ho scrap:

You stay klassy, Kid.

As a token of my appreciation for you brand of comic humor, please note the enclosed gift bag.  For your readers, I have listed them:

• a piece of glass I stole from Bloodsport that was used during the filming of the famous scene where I beat up that big burly Asian guy.
• the underwear I wore during my most-famous scene in Time Cop during the scene in the kitchen where I jump onto the countertop and perform an amazing split to avoid being electrocuted.  I think the stain from an oily fart is still there if you look closely.
• a signed photograph of Wilford Brimley.  I signed up for diabetes medication after seeing his commercial late one night, and requested two signed copies of his face ... which he complied.  He's my favorite actor, and a true American hero.
• one sandwich baggie with my collection of ear wax I have accumulated since I first step foot on American soil.  This is my gift to you and your readers.  Although, I might be hard to share this with your readers, but be sure to let them know I gave it to you.  I no longer need it because my doctor says I should slowly begin to relieve myself of many of my belongings, as I've got a disorder in which I like to keep (horde?) many useless byproducts of human living.  I still can't bring myself to flush my toilet.

I hope you all enjoy your day on August 9th.  I plan to sing a song I wrote for this occasion, which is titled, "Oh fair donkey, love thy thee".  I will be Botswanna filming my next movie (co-starring Marshall Mathers).  It is tear-jerker love story about two fellas who met on the internet and decide to finally meet.  We have recruited some of the best screenwriters in American to develop this rich story, and I cannot wait to release this movie worldwide, to hopefully critical-acclaim.

Love,
JCVD

See our other B-day wishes here

Thomas Beatie, the no longer pregnant "Pregnant Man", is in People Magazine with his 3 week old baby daughter, Susan Jullette. What a cute father-daughter picture! According to People, Susan took 40 hours of labor and was born the old fashioned way. It cracks me up to write that about a man giving birth. Anyway, all are well and happy and Nancy is doing the breast feeding after inducing lactation with hormones and a breast pump.

How a man had a baby - here

Pregnant Man, the movie - here

All posts on Thomas, Nancy and Susan Jullette - here

People's article - here

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