The hearing featured testimony from AAHSA members Dr. Bill Thomas, founder of the Eden Alternative and the Green House model, and Edna Hess, a shabaz at the Green House at Lebanon Valley Brethren Home in Palmyra, Pa. The panelists provided excellent information on the importance of focusing on the older adult when designing models to help care for them as their needs change.

The majority of the discussion focused on the “medical” or “health care” homes concept, which AAHSA is exploring as a way to provide better coordination of care, lower the number of hospital stays, and better the overall health of older adults.

The main idea of the Green House movement is to replace large nursing homes with smaller, homelike facilities for 10 to 12 patients.

Hess described her experience moving from a traditional nursing home setting to Lebanon’s Green House project, the Hostetter House, a 7000 sq-ft free-standing ranch-style home that utilizes wireless communications technologies, as well as life-enhancing features such as spa/physical therapy rooms.


[caption id="attachment_459" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Edna Hess offers testimony."][/caption]

“One of the great things about our Green House homes is the consistency of staffing,” Hess said. “I always work in the Hostetter House, and so the elders feel very secure and comfortable because they know me and I know them.” Hess also noted that the families of the patients in the Hostetter House seem happier because they are better able to participate in the activities of the house.



Dr. Thomas discussed the idea of patient-centeredness, a philosophy of care that encourages the patient to be at heart of the decision-making process.


[caption id="attachment_461" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Bill Thomas speaks at Senate hearing."][/caption]

“‘Person-centered’ care is an authentic grassroots movement that has the power to unite patients and providers in a shared effort to experience how we interact with the health care system,” Thomas said. He recommended that the federal government integrate “person-centeredness into the reimbursement system,” as well as encourage the development of “new models, work roles and funding strategies” of long-term health care.

The Webcast of the hearing is available here.

Toledano's a renowned photographer with photos regularly featured on billboards in the pages of The New York Times. It's no surprise that he'd pull out his camera when it came to sharing the story of caring for his aging father, who is struggling with dementia and other health problems.

The photos range from an image of Dad embracing his beloved aide, Carla, to the scraps of paper Toledano believes "are a glimpse into his mind, the disquiet he tries to hide from me."

Every caregiver has a story to tell. Take a look Toledano's images. They "say" it all.

During this time though, Old MacDonald acquired a dog, cat, duck and cow, and from what I hear, his farm is continuously growing. I'm glad that I traded in the corporate games for Fisher Price. I've never lost that child within, and having the opportunity for a second childhood while having the ability to keep my memories was the greatest gift I could have given myself.

Now I'm back, you guys are my therapists. I'm still using every opportunity that arises to learn life lessons and have the ability to pass them along to my children. Once again, a transition is occurring in my life. Now instead of taking care of a 2 year old child, we are caring for a 75 year old.

After a four day stay in the hospital due to a fall, my father in law is now living in our house. We have not always gotten along. We definitely don't view the world from the same perspective. I'm still not his favorite person in the world, but not the arch nemesis he once saw me as.

I'm finding as a caregiver that we cannot make ourselves responsible for someone else's happiness, only they can be held responsible for that. I'm also finding that it is of the utmost importance to hold on to yourself...don't lose yourself because of a relationship, raising a child, holding a job. If you do, there will be a time in your life you find yourself lost. I've spent countless hours discussing possible activities. What did you feel passionate about in your life? What were your dreams when you finally had the time and no responsibilities? Each time that question is posed it is met with "I don't know?" I've tried to find what hobbies he may have had, and he cannot think of even one. Now his mind is fading, and it is so true about teaching an old dog new tricks.

For many years I was too busy raising children. As a single parent free time was a luxury. What I am now seeing is it can't be looked at that way. Free time, time to oneself is NECESSARY.

It takes you places.

At first, you might start out caregiving heroically--feeling that you can make a difference. You can "fix" this problem--that your loved one's condition can be bettered if you could just...get in there...find the right doctor, get on the right meds, coordinate the proper level of care...

It's a tough day when you finally realize you can't fix your loved one.

You can't fix their disease.

You can do very little to make anything about this "better."

You learn to just live, love, and hope to be granted some small level of grace.

You may feel as if you've lost them forever and this can cause you to grow bitter if you're not careful. We don't like not being in control, not getting results.

 But what if one of the goals/purpose/benefits of your loved one getting ill, facing death is what it does to you, the caregiver? What if part of this is about you?

What caregiving does to you, asks of you, unearths in you? 

I'm not trying to be Pollyanna here.

Sometimes it all feels useless. You didn't sign up for a life lesson, and this is really shitty. Pardon my French, but I've been there, and I used far more "French" than that in my caregiving years! 

If someone told me that I was supposed to get something out of caregiving, there would be some days that I would have definately thrown some heavy, possibly sharp object directly at that person's head.

But as the target talking here, I'm going to duck and say it again:

What are you supposed to get out of this experience? 

I can't, I refuse to believe that caregiving is just this terrible, horrible thing that you have to endure because life's just like that. Caregiving is so much more.

As much as it feels as if your loved one's personality is gone--that you're caring for a body, not your mom, remember they're deep inside. When my mother started to lose her essence, I had to sort of go on auto-pilot. I had to care-give because of my commitment, my integrity (which I was groping and grasping to hold on to).

The difficulty lies in the fact of what we knew they once were--vivacious, intelligent, gifted people who made an impact on the world.

I was in a caregiver support group recently where a woman shared that her husband was a Yale Law professor, and now he can't even dress himself. Her grief was palatable. She was holding onto who he was--what he did, what he presented to the world. She hadn't let that part of him go yet.

Although you may only get glimpses of your loved one, hold onto the knowledge that they're there. It becomes a treasure hunt. I began to seek out glimpses of my mother.

I started to notice smaller and smaller details: the way her hands moved, the way she'd brush her hair out of her face. That was still her. I didn't use my hands like that--that was her own distinct way. As the bigger, more obvious ways of communicating diminished, it helped to pull in, and find my mother as if we were enjoying a game of hide and seek.

Some nugget, some kernel of their spirit is still inside.

Since the release of Mothering Mother, I've spoken to several thousand caregivers and their loved ones across the country. I've visited care facilities, and I've found that no two people are alike. No two people with Alzheimer's react the same way. Even in their "lostness" is unique.

I knew I had to let go of who my mother was, and sadly, I knew I had turned her into a list: mother, wife, minister, cook.

I had to decide to love who my mother is: a person, a woman, the core of a spirit.  

I read about a couple whose son had been in a motorcycle accident years before and was brain injured. He was still alive, but he wasn't the son they knew before the accident.

They decided to hold a memorial service or celebration service--even though he had not passed away. 

They needed to let go of the son they once had--in order to embrace their new son. This new son still needed to be loved, still needed parents, but as long as they were holding onto that old son/old image--it hurt too much.

This journey, this revelation changes them--and in the end, oftentimes makes them a better person capable of more love and peace than could have ever imagined.

I love time theories and quantum mechanics, (I wrote several papers on it in college) and I read a great article by a physicist that explained that time and events(or place--for us to conceive time, we have to intersect it with place) can be seen as a wheel with each moment being a spoke--and our memory adds meaning to that event--so some moments or events "spike out."

Each moment, each event stands apart and will always exist.

For me, my mother, myself, and all the moments I hold dear exist forever.

 My favorite author, Madeleine L'Engle says,

"The great thing about growing older is that we get to keep

every age we've ever been."

 Carol D. O’Dell

Family Advisor at www.Caring.com

Syndicated Blog at www.OpentoHope.com

Kunati Publishers, www.kunati.com/mothering-mother-memoir-by-car/ - 95k

No, this recent Newsweek story isn't about raising children. It's about another life-changing event: caring for aging parents.

In the article, Anne Kennedy Rickover compares her experiences moving her parents more than 1,000 miles away from her childhood home in Philadelphia to Topeka, Kan., to childbirth.  The author writes how the "lamaze classes," or help from a friend working with the elderly, helped her parents find physicians and other services. She asked friends in similar situations about their experiences. But like many new parents, she says that they didn't have concrete advice. They were just "stumbling along without any real answers."

What's her conclusion? That like raising children, caring for aging parents should be considered a treasured part of the life cycle. And in it, she writes, she was "shown again the foolishness of my conceits, the infinitely greater sweetness and richness of life, the poignant beginning and ending of yet another cycle."

Now for something very exciting.

There is a great resource for caregivers.  There is website created by the Copper Ridge Institute which is affiliated with the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine.

There is a ton of great information there. But most impressive is a list of videocasts that cover many aspects of direct caregiving like: toileting, wandering, bathing and dressing, aggression and many other topics.

Go to www.alzcast.org (remember that’s .org), for the videocasts look on the upper left-hand side. You will see a star that says “new” and the title next to it: “Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s”.  Click on the title and it will take you to the list of videos. (They are also in Spanish).

There is a lot of other great information there. Go take a look…

Have you ever noticed that you can never get everything done? I mean there's always one more towel to fold, one more dish to wash, one more shirt to hang up, or one more piece of furniture to dust. And the truth is, there always will be.

The thing about housework is that it has to be repeated. It's never actually finished. We'll always have bathrooms to clean, and beds to make. Such is life. We all go through times when we're organized...and times when we're not. But sometimes we have to just shrug our shoulders and say, "You know what? It will all be here tomorrow. Today I'm taking the kids to the park, or going to lunch with my husband, or I'm going shopping."

Yes, there is an art to leaving things undone. Babies will not stay babies forever, and later we will wish for one more hug, or one more day in the park, or one more bedtime story. Husbands have a way of heading toward heaven sometimes sooner than wives, and what widow would not give all that she had to spend one more day with the love of her life? Yes, the unmade beds can wait, and the bathtubs and toilets too!

So this past week (from Wednesday through Sunday) I have practiced the "noble art of leaving things undone." My husband and I have been taking a stay home vacation. It only requires him (a busy lawyer) to be out of the office for three business days. (And I have even allowed him about 2 hours a day to sign papers or make phone calls.) Have I been tempted to spend precious time vacuuming or dusting? NO!!! And these have been wonderful days!

Since we live in a tourist town, we decided to act like tourists-(sort of.) The first day we went out to breakfast, and casually read the paper over coffee. We went to a thrift store (one of my favorite activities), and then we went home to sit in our comfy chairs, and watch a movie. Then I started supper, and headed down to the flea market, where I have a Victorian collectibles booth to play in, while he went to the office for a couple of hours. We met back at the house, ate, watched a little tv, and back to our cozy chairs to read for a couple of hours.

The next day we took a day trip to a nearby beach town, (stopping on the way at...you guessed it...a gigantic thrift store! LOL!) Then we had lunch at a home cooking cafe, and I shopped at 3 antique stores, while he headed over to talk with some of the people that work with him on adoptions in this area. (You know men-they aren't much for shopping.) We enjoyed the scenery on the way home, and then we hit those wonderful chairs again for a little reading time. (We just purchased them a few months ago.)

The next day we had to go over to the nursing home for a "care plan" meeting for my mom, who has been there temporarily for therapy, since breaking her right foot and left leg. When she gets to go home depends on the doctor's report next Thursday. We'll know lots more then. But all in all it was a good meeting. She has settled down a good bit, and has worked very hard during her physical therapy sessions.

From there, we had lunch in a home cooking cafe in our town (also a beach town), and then home to our chairs for a couple of hours. We split up again for awhile, and met back at the house for an easy supper of grilled cheese sandwiches and soup.

Today, I finally got to sleep in (yay!) and we went to our favorite restaurant in Baytowne Wharf. It's called the Marlin Grill. But they have the best steaks on earth! I kid you not! If you are ever in Destin, Florida-check them out. You will NOT be disappointed.

(I was disappointed, however, to find that my favorite Tea Shop (Magnolia and Ivy) had gone out of business. So sad. It had great gifts and tea accessories. But we walked over to the waterfront, and sat for a few minutes, and then headed to Ross-(my second favorite store to T.J. Maxx).

Tomorrow is Sunday, and we plan to rest and wind down. This is the first year in a long time that we didn't go the North Carolina Mountains (my second favorite place on earth.) But we have had so many crises in the family, that we were just too worn out to make the trip this time. So we opted for two vacations like this. One this month, and one in August.

I can't wait till the next one! There is a certain amount of stress that goes with traveling-packing, flying or driving, not sleeping well, etc. And I guess we eliminated all that with our staycation (as my teenage daughter calls it.) We managed to combine venturing out, with actually resting, and it has been delightful! It seemed much longer than it actually was. (Also I spent 5 days away in my favorite nearby (nothing fancy) motel the week before, so I was already in a vacation frame of mind. I have never needed a vacation more!

Being the primary caregiver for my elderly, widowed mom is a full time job, and we have had our share of medical crises lately. I desperately needed a break. I can see now how important it is for a caregiver to get away from time to time. It is not a luxury...it is a necessity. The burn out level is high, and everyone needs a chance to escape now and then.

So I have practiced the "noble art of leaving things undone" for the past few days, and I'm loving it. It will all be there waiting for me on Monday...

At this time, I was traveling about 70% of my time. In other words, I was hardly home. All my bio markers such as cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar, etc. were out of whack and I was slowly becoming a prime candidate for a heart attack or at least a multiple bypass operation...I just didn't know it.

I was raised Hindu, but had never practiced my religion. My wife Steffi (who I had met many years ago in Germany) was a practicing Roman Catholic. We never discussed religion or spirituality. Once a year, on Christmas Eve, my son, daughter and I accompanied her to church for Mass.

In early 2001, Steffi was diagnosed with multiple Myeloma (bone marrow cancer) and our world came crashing down. I put my career behind me to become her caregiver. I don't think it was a conscious decision; it just seemed the right thing to do at the time. She was the anchor of the family and had nurtured us for over thirty years. My helping her now seemed minor compared to her contribution to us.

Steffi lost her battle to cancer in March 2005.

The four years between 2001 and 2005 were challenging, to put it mildly....for all of us. These were defining years for me, or rather, years of redefining my Lebensanschauung, my view of Life.

I had the opportunity to revisit my life often and review my role as a partner, lover, husband, father and friend. My woeful conclusion was that I had been far less than perfect in these roles. For most of my married life and that of a father, I was not "present". Yes, I was there, and yet, not there.

Steffi went through a stem cell transplant, multiple bouts of chemo and radiation and took some really awful drugs. Through it all, she had her grace, her composure and her humor. She'd always say, "I feel fine".

Two years before she died, the inevitability of the situation hit me. Even though she was in remission at the time, I knew I was to lose her....and I began to realize how much I loved her. That's when I started grieving. Nothing made sense to me. I did not have a spiritual anchor to hold on to.

In the six weeks or so before her passing, we spoke a lot....about things we had never spoken before. Religion, spirituality, family, and what we meant for each other.  About three weeks before she died, she said, "You know, I've hung in here because I love you guys (me, my son Kim and my daughter Sheila) so much. But now, I feel that I have to give in to my love for God and that it's OK if I have to leave you". It almost killed me.

Two nights before she died, we exchanged our vows. I sat by her bedside awake throughout that last night. Her indomitable spirit and her big smile was still evident on the morning of her last day when a neighboring couple came to visit with their new puppy. "Look who's here" she said, with a beam on her face. Half an hour later, she was in a coma and at 3.00 p.m. on March 30th, 2005, she left us, with my son, my daughter and me at her bedside.

They took her and the hospital bed away pretty quickly. I could not sleep. The house was strangely empty, and yet, her energy was still present.

I started doing some rather bizarre chores, like vacuuming the whole house.

At exactly 11.00 p.m., I was drawn to the front door. I don't know what brought me there or why. Our house is at the end of a cul-de-sac, where cars turn around. Sitting in front of the house, on the pavement, was a raccoon. I was taken aback and not being entirely present, started shooing it away. It just sat there looking at me, as if to say, "Hmmm, looks like all is OK; I'm fine".

Then it slowly got up and just as deliberately, ambled away.

A little later, when I got over my initial shock, I realized what might be happening. Steffi had belonged to a local fund-raising group called the Raccoons and her power animal was a raccoon. I KNEW in that moment that she was checking in on me and perhaps letting me know that "all is well".

Awakening implies that one has been asleep. Indeed, I had been spiritually alseep for the better part of five decades. My awakening was just about to begin.

This week I've been talking to friends, family and colleagues about their caregiving experiences. Over the past twenty two years I've seen amazing caregivers who go through each day offering compassion and easing the suffering of those they care for on a daily basis. Some caregiving is temporary but more and more long-term caregiving is the norm.

Caregivers, as you know from first hand experience, are part of a team of providers that includes the rest of the health team. The major difference is that family/friend caregivers go home with the patient and the other member of the team get to keep a safe distance. Being up close and personal with the patient requires patience and compassion. It requires the ability to think rationally, especially in times of chaos or crisis.

What I notice is that caregivers often re-arrange their lives to be able to keep running on all cylinders. They give up time with their own friends, deal with decreased financial resources and are asked/required to put their own needs on hold. These are huge sacrifices and are often costly both in physical and emotional health.

There has to be a way to create balance for the caregiver. There are organizations like In Home Support Services (IHSS), but often they have income requirements. There are agencies that provide respite care but it's not always covered by insurance, until someone is in hospice. You can hire someone out-of-pocket depending on your financial resources or you can get volunteers to help through community nonprofit agencies.

Healthcare providers have to get better at addressing the needs of the patient and the caregiver. We can't make caregivers sacrifice to the extent that they are left physically, emotionally and spiritually malnourished (literally and figuratively). In order for caregivers to continue providing the needed love, support, and compassion, there has to be some way to allow them to maintain some degree of normality. If we expect caregivers to be sacrificed because illness has created a new normal, we'll end up with two patients and no caregivers...is that really what we want?

If you have tips to share about how to maintain emotional and spiritual stamina while caregiving please share your story so we can keep caregivers healthy and at peace!

“Long-term care advocates oppose the legislation, arguing that arbitration agreements allow them to channel limited Medicare and Medicaid resources to providing quality care instead of funding lengthy court trials,” McKnight’s reports.

Later today, the Senate Judiciary Committee is expected to mark up its version of the bill, S. 2838.

“Many of the topics you raise -- sibling relations, long-distance caregiving, career disruption, the difference between coming to the aid of a beloved parent versus an abusive one, the pros and cons of long-term insurance, the situations in which nursing homes are appropriate and even welcome, how to stop parents from driving or persuade them they are no longer safe at home -- will be recurring themes in the months ahead,” Gross wrote in a recent post.

More than 400 comments were posted during the blog’s first full day. Gross said she was overwhelmed by the outpouring of interest, commentary and suggestions.

“Striking to me in your responses is how desperately adult children want to do right by their parents, how desperately their parents want to spare them this burden, and how the American health care system and our government’s safety net for the elderly make this all but impossible for both generations at almost every turn,” Gross wrote. 

Many of the issues Gross and readers bring up, including having the car key conversation with aging parents, are ones Home Instead Senior Care has addressed through programs such as the 40/70 Rule. You may find it interesting to periodically read Gross’ posts and reader responses.

“Many of the topics you raise -- sibling relations, long-distance caregiving, career disruption, the difference between coming to the aid of a beloved parent versus an abusive one, the pros and cons of long-term insurance, the situations in which nursing homes are appropriate and even welcome, how to stop parents from driving or persuade them they are no longer safe at home -- will be recurring themes in the months ahead,” Gross wrote in a recent post.

More than 400 comments were posted during the blog’s first full day. Gross said she was overwhelmed by the outpouring of interest, commentary and suggestions.

“Striking to me in your responses is how desperately adult children want to do right by their parents, how desperately their parents want to spare them this burden, and how the American health care system and our government’s safety net for the elderly make this all but impossible for both generations at almost every turn,” Gross wrote. 

Many of the issues Gross and readers bring up, including having the car key conversation with aging parents, are ones Home Instead Senior Care has addressed through programs such as the 40/70 Rule. You may find it interesting to periodically read Gross’ posts and reader responses.

I took care of a 100 year old priest when I was a monk.

I retired from my professional career early to take care of a couple of friends whom I was living with.

I just came back from my hometown where I was taking care of my uncle for 6 weeks.  I am now back with the agency.  I took care of a couple last weekend.  I felt badly for them.  The man has heart failure and can't see, and his wife can barely hear.  They are both very tired.  They have no children to help them.  I just found out from the agency that the man had to go back to the hospital.

The agency is working on a new position for me as super caregiver.  I will mentor the new caregivers, go to the first assignment with them, and go to the orientation to talk about my experiences as a caregiver.

Jim

It usually comes after an accident, diagnosis, or surgery--or sometimes, for our elderly, it follows a slow, painful descent.

However you got here, my heart goes out to you.

"I Don't Know What I Should be Doing Right Now."

This is normal. You feel lost, kicked in the gut--you have little or no experience at this.

I know your world feels as if it's falling apart. You might feel the need to control everything, or you may feel that nothing is important. You may be going a mile a minute, making phone calls, demanding to see doctors, exploring treatment options--or you may be paralyzed and all you can do is sit next to your loved one and try not to cry.

Either way is fine. Your're on auto-pilot. This is fight or flight. You wish you could just go back to life as before, but you can't. You wish you could be a caregiver--as hard as it is, it sure beats feeling helpless.

Let others step in--or tell them everyone that everything can wait. Do what's natural.

The Bare Essentials--A Few Important Things to Remember:

• Get a piece of paper and pen--write down anything the doctors or nurses tell you--you'll be glad you did when someone asks you something and you have a complete mind meltdown
• Keep track of your loved one's meds and treatment times--realize the care staff isn't going to deliver the meds on the dot, but you have the right to ask--especially with pain meds (which can be done with IV) your loved one should be kept comfortable--and you can insist on this
• Designate a liason--a family member or friend who can field calls and coordinate plans--they'll feel useful and you won't feel overwhelmed
• Pace yourself. If you're in a hospital or hospice or at home, know that you have to keep some strength and clarity in reserve--in case you need it
• Get your sleep--and get a bit of fresh air--you may be called on to make a very important decision--do you really want to do that on no sleep?
• If your loved one can talk, initiate a conversation about end of life care--feeding tubes, Do Not Resuscitate orders--if you have a living will, then you have it in writing--if you don't, then as hard as this is, ask the nurse's desk for one (the staff can get you one). It could save you so much heartache later
• If you do have a living will, bring it to the hospital or care center. Even if the facility has one, you need the other copy with you. Trust me, these things can slip through the cracks
• Be the family you are. Don't let others judge how you're reacting to this situation. If you're not cuddly, then don't do anything that doesn't feel natural
• Know that you can't control others actions--some people may rush to your side, others hang back. Let everyone "be" without worrying about them. Stay focused on you and your loved one

I'm Already Wracked With Guilt and Regret--We Should Have Caught This Sooner, I Should Have Done More...

These are normal feelings. It gives our brains something to do. We're under the illusion that we control things, that if we had done this, not done that, that things would be different. Life is bigger than us mere mortals. Try not to stay in this awful, negative vortex.

You're spinning your wheels and taking valuable time and thought --and love away from your your loved one and the time you have together. Stay Present.

I Can't Think Straight--Shouldn't I Be Making Plans?

Only if that brings you a measure of comfort. It will all work out. Let your liaison coordinate anything you'd like done now--flights, checking out care facilities, etc. This isn't the time to get caught up in the doing--and if you are, do it because it's your coping mechanism, not because you think you should.

When Do I Start Making Funeral Arrangements?

It's different for everyone. Some people have family plots and know their local funeral director as a friend. Others are new to their area and haven't a clue.

Are you the type to ask a doctor flat out how long does your loved one have left?

Do you want to know?

It's okay not to, everyone's copes differently. Also know that doctors are not infallible. They can be wrong. They can misjudge. Life is determined by the will--and the spirit. But if it would make you feel better to have a general time frame, then ask a doctor or nurse--ask if it's time for hospice--enlist all the care you can get.

Hospice will be more wiling to talk about the death and dying process than doctors will (usually) -and palliative care (pain management). Some doctors resist hospice, but I find they're a valuable resource to families. It doesn't mean your loved one is going to die this second because you ask for hospice. It means you'll have the support you need--people that have been through this.

Should My Loved One Stay in the Hospital, Go Into a Hospice Center or Should I Take Them Home?

Again, what's right for you? And your loved one? Have you talked about this before? Have you ever thought about it? Is there care manageable at home? Will that be more stress on you--or less?

It may take you a while to figure out what feels right, and sometimes you figure out what's right by what's wrong--if the hospital is getting on your nerves and you just one everyone to go away and for it to be a time of peace, then you probably want a hospice center or to return home.

Does the care feel overwhelming to you? Would you rather go to a care center and let others take care of things? You can spend the night there, and most hospice centers are very thoughtful and serene.

Or does home sound like the only place you and your loved one wants to be. Home hospice is available as well, and pain can be managed from home.

You'll figure this out along the way. Don't feel pressured to make decisions prematurely or on someone else's timeframe. Trust your gut.

For some, this is a deeply spiritual time, a time when faith is important. Even if you haven't turned to your faith in years, if it feels right, then ask to see a chaplain, priest, or rabbi. Faith can oftentimes give you a measure of comfort and hope.

I'm Scared if I Stop Moving, I'll Fall Apart

Is it so bad to fall apart? I know you think that if you do, you'll never function again. You will.

If you truly can't let yourself fall apart now, then set a date--in the future--and give yourself permission to fall apart then. Eventually, you'll need to cry and scream, and beat something. You'll need to curse, or sob, or fall to the ground. This is all a part of grief, and grief starts long before the last breath.

Losing a loved one is about the hardest thing you'll ever do and the emotions that come with it are some of the hardest, strongest, saddest, awful-est time you'll ever go through. But you will.

You will keep breathing. Your heart will keep beating, unfair as it is. You will.

But for today, be present.

If you have only days, weeks, or months left, then gather and treasure every sweet moment you have--

Carol D. O’Dell

Author of Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir

available on Amazon

www.mothering-mother.com

Family Advisor at www.Caring.com

Syndicated Blog at www.OpentoHope.com

Kunati Publishers, www.kunati.com/mothering-mother-memoir-by-car/ - 95k

 We want to show policy makers and the public that providers are helping individuals receive the care they need in their homes for $75 a day, which we believe a national insurance trust could offer individuals when they need LTC. The services can be accessed through Medicare, Medicaid (including state waiver programs) or other home and community-based service programs.

We've already heard from Chateau Cushnoc in Augusta, Maine who's helping two residents of their senior housing facility receive personal care services, therapy and other support for just $34 a day.

Do you know someone in a similar situation? Let us know so we can share how you are making it affordable to care.

I compare caregiving the first time around to being chased by a hungry/angry bear as you're running a marathon. Sure, you've got to pace yourself, but you also better run like hell.

You don't usually have the time or foresight to plan your caregiving the first time around.

It's just one big chaotic frenetic fear-fest!

But what if you knew you were going to have to care give again?

Most likely, you're going to care give a parent the first time. But you have two parents...and you might have in-laws...and a spouse...and siblings...and god forbid, you have children that might need you to care give them--life is unpredictable.

That's a lot of caregiving!

I hope you--nor I--have to care give all those people, but as you can see from the list, you're most likely going to have to do it again.

What Have You Learned From Caregiving The First Time?

(Here's a few of mine)

• I learned to get prepared and organized--from the get go
• I learned to protect my time, heart, and energy--every day
• I learned not to fret about every little thing said or done--neither what I did or what was done to me
• I learned not to give doctors or other medical personell carte-blanche. They don't love my family member like I do
• I learned not to let caregiving (people or the process) control me or my life
• I'm not so afraid of the end of life--I hope to embrace this tender time and hold it sacred

If caregiving is a marathon, then the next time I vow to turn around and tell the bear to back off~

You can't worry about your caregiving future. 

Live life now. Live big and with open arms. If caregiving comes your way again, it won't be the same experience. It will teach you new things.

If You're In Between Caregiving Times:

• Be totally selfish. Take care of you. Recoup.
• Do the things you put off. This won't replace the loved one you lost, but use this time to keep your promises to yourself.
• Look enough ahead that caregiving won't completely side-swipe you
• Do the prep-work: get those living wills signed, know where those important papers are, talk about long range plans
• Put your family on notice--let them know just because you gave care once doesn't mean you'll automatically do it again

If It's Your Spouse You'll Be Caregiving Next

Caregiving your spouse is different. It kicks up all kinds of emotions. Be gentle on yourself.

You might feel scared for your own future. Angry they didn't take care of their health before now. Weepy--your heart is wrenched.

How much time do you have left? What is the quality of that time together?

This is a very intimate, tender experience. Be present. Spousal caregivng isn't about managing the situation--it's much closer to the heart. at some point, let the rest of life fall away.

Caregiving is a Part of Who We Are--It's Not The Whole of Who We Are

You are actually a good caregiver to stay outside of the emotional hurricane of caregiving.

You don't prove that you love someone by being miserable with them.

Many times, our loved ones want us to feel what they're feelings.

You know the old cliche', "misery loves company?" It's true. If we're depressed, we tend to cloud the atmosphere and dare anyone to be cheery. It's difficult to live with a person who has Alzheimer'sand not get pulled into the vortex of lethargy, melancholy, and numbness.

Caregiving is a Natural Part of Family Life

We just recently came up with this fancy name.

We've always had mothers, fathers, spouses who need us. Family caregiving was just the norm--and it was just being a family. The kicker now is how long we're all living!

Enjoy Life--Enjoy Caring for Those You Love--And Don't Over-Think!

Keep it natural. Love those who are in your circle.

Love life and appreciate your health, your family--and don't over-think it all. Don't try to do it all, be it all.

Care Give Loose!

Life is constantly changing. We have to learn to love and let go, love and let go.

(If I figure out how to do this, I'll let you know).

~Carol D. O'Dell

Author of Mothering Mother: A Daughter's Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir

available on Amazon

Family Advisor at www.Caring.com

Syndicated Blog at www.OpentoHope.com

On Friday, AAHSA CEO Larry Minnix was among several legislators, researchers and policy experts invited to speak at a Capitol Hill briefing on long-term care reform sponsored by the Brookings Institution.

Minnix participated in a panel on long-term care financing that was moderated by Peter Orszag, the director of the Congressional Budget Office. During his remarks, Minnix discussed AAHSA's Long-term Care Solution as a viable way to make it affordable to care in our country.  A webcast of the event will be available soon.



photo by Craig Collins-Young

Regarding the Mind-

At Frontal Cortex, Jonah has a fascinating post pondering the relationship between music and complex mathematics, speculating how our mind finds pleasure in simply pulling the pattern out of the seemingly random causing sensory input to transcend into something sublime.

Anand Dhillon has a fantastic post on some of the cognitive distortions we all have, which can ultimately hold us back from our own happiness, cause self defeating behavior, or beat us down into a full blown depression.

Speaking of Depression, at Change Therapy, Isabella Mori continues what has been a powerful and moving discussion on creativity and depression with her personal tale about how creativity may not eliminate depression, but it can remove the paralyzing and devastaing effects.

Regarding the Soul-

At Faith Promoting Rumor, the inimitable Mogget, Mormon Biblical scholar grad student extraordinaire is back, and shares a wonderful and insightful critique of the Mormon Revelatory experience.  It really opened my eyes, no pun intended.

At Mormon Matters, Stephen Marsh (AKA Ethesis) breaks down the strengths and weaknesses of various approaches to holy writ, giving a powerful and personal view of scripture.

The Washington Post has an amazing story captured in a documentary by Laura Waters Hinson.  It seems that the people of Rwanda really do take Jesus at his word..

Regarding the Body-

At GNIF BrainBlogger, Waynekid Cam has been gulping down the ice cream too fast.  He gives an excellent little lesson on the physiology of brain freeze.

At Of Two Minds, Steve Higgins has bad news for health food nuts, as he describes a recent Indonesian study that suggests Tofu might increase risk of Alzheimer disease, and speculates on why this may be.

Or All the Above-

At Mormon Matters, Bruce Nielsen shares some insight into what marriage is really all about, as he fights the myth that it is just about our happiness and nobody else's business.

Apollo, MD shares with us his experience of his first day in the third year clerkships, where he confronts both life and death in the most broken of patients, one suffering from coma..  Looks like he had the best rotation first.  He also has the makings of a first class neurologist (hint, hint)

The Anesthesioboist has an excellent post on the deep satisfaction patients find in demonizing their doctors, as she scans the blogosphere for heart wrenching tales of medical mistakes and the tendency for societal retribution, even overeaction

The New York Times has a disturbing report about work related violence, injury and mortality among the most noble of professions, ICU Nurses, as they stand at the line between life and death and become victims of the anger boiling over from families.  Unfortunately, in the NeuroICU especially, I have seen the danger personally and can attest, they are not making this up.

Newly discovered Blog treasure-

All the above was getting crowded, and this wonderful blog could have covered the category alone.  Mothers in Medicine is a group blog with a team of mothers working as physicians.  They have a moving post on Crying in medicine, a reflection on growing up the child of a doctor and then putting your child through the same thing, and a guest tribute to physicians parents everywhere.  This blog really fed my mind, soul and body this week, and I'm not even a mother. A most grateful hat tip to PalliMed.

and Just because I Liked it-

Zooillogix has some breathtaking pictures of the annual golden ray migration.  Absolutely beauthiful.

At Get Religion, tmatt has an eye opening story about the danger to churches of blurring the line between Church and State.  Are we far from the day when the Government will dictate doctrine to churches everywhere?  I certainly hope not.

Career Medicine examines, hyopthesizes and lists pager theory in detail, with a tongue in cheek look at an irritation any resident will be able to identify with.

Here is a hilarious video clip of some neurology humor by the one and only Steve Martin besting a precocious little girl in the Man with two minds.  It reminds me of grand rounds.  Hilarious. (HT:Neurophilosophy)

That concludes my points of interest for now.  I hope you enjoyed.  If you are hungry for more, I think you have too much free time. Just kidding.  There are an abundance of great posts in some of this weeks blog carnivals- Grand Rounds hits Manhattan, which of course means Seinfeld takes over, Change of shift takes us down blogger memory lane, Encephalon clelebrates freedom (from faulty theory) and BrainBlogging has a great collection of posts covering the human side of the mind, covering body and soul in the process.. That ought to keep you busy.

]]> http://caroldodell.wordpress.com/?p=200 Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:27:55 +0000 caroldodell http://caroldodell.wordpress.com/?p=200 Most caregivers I know are rsick of being told to take care of themselves.

It's not that they don't appreciate the advice, but I'm sure they feel like saying something along the lines of...

If you'd like to come over and give me a long weekend off, I'd be glad to take care of myself.

Or

And, how do you propose I do that on the energy of an anemic sloth?

Taking care of yourself takes time, energy, sometimes money, and resources.

These are commodities that most caregivers don't have a lot of.

How do you get energy if you don't have energy?

Ask yourself, what's draining me? I mean other than 24/7 care and talking circles with a person who has Alzheimer's. Mental energy drainers, crazy makers (meaning your relatives and other uninformed people) drain more energy than the physical work you do.

Make a list of crazy makers--from the irritating neighbor who fusses at you because your dog barks (at three in the afternoon) to the unhelpful, disinterested nurse who refuses to simply call in a prescription for your mom even though you know she has the same condition as the last time she went to the doctor.

Now that you have your crazy maker list you'll hear an alarm going off in your head the next time you're dealing with them--you'll be able to detach before your emotions get tangled in with their chaos. Limit the amount of conversation you have with crazy makers. Get in, get out, that's my motto.

It takes energy to get energy.

I hate this one, but it's like exercise. You can't wait until you feel like exercising or you'll never do it.

You exercise in order to feel like exercising. Shut off brain. Don't over think. Just grumble and move, grumble and move. Ten minutes in, and those lovely endorphins just might kick in. Tell yourself you can quit in ten minutes. I bet you'll want to continue. Most days. Some days.

Are you really physically tired?

You might not be.

Caregivers suffer from monotony. Most of their days are too predictable. It's boring. It's not stimulating. You're still young, healthy and your brain and body needs activity. You're probably acting like your elder loved one--like you're 87 with arthritis.

Mentally separate yourself from your loved one. Not in a mean way, but realize that you are 20, 30 years younger. Move like it. Talk like it. Don't let an atmosphere of depression pull you down. 

Research has shown that if you're tired, it may be because the other side of your brain needs stimulating.

If you're physically tired, you might need mental stimulation--a game of computer solitaire, a crossword puzzle, learn a language, have a conversation with someone who challenges you. That way, you're using the other side of your brain--the side that's been lethargic.

If you've been working through a problem in your head, (even having an argument, figuring out care arrangements, or worrying about something), then you may need a physical activity--clean out a closet, wash the car, scrub out the frig. Your body is yearning to move.

Do you know why we yawn?

It's not just because we're tired. It's that our breathing slows when we're tired and we're not getting enough oxygen. Our body triggers us to yawn so we'll take in a deep breath and fill up with oxygen. Cool, huh? Even our body knows what we need. Maybe you need to "yawn," metaphorically that is, and get some life sustaining oxygen flowing again.

So, brass tacks here's how to take care of yourself when you don't want to be told to take care of yourself:  

• Tell those do-gooders "You should take care of yourself" folks to back off! Uhless they're willing to anty up, it's not fair to just tell you what to do and not help.
• Name those crazy makers and decrease how much time you spend with them.
• Do one thing you've been avoiding--calling the bank, deworming the dog--nothing zaps energy like dreading something
• WALK or STRETCH for ten minutes. Not because you feel like it. Gripe all the way through, I don't care. Just do it!
• Do you know how much energy it takes to hold in our emotions? Go to your car, shut the door and have an imaginary tell-off session. Write a really nasty letter. Scream.
• After you've said all those cruel and probably deserved terrible things, it's time to pick your words and confront someone who's really been bugging you. Start with, "When you ____________, I feel ___________. Then offer a solution. Next time, please ______________.  Then walk away. Refuse to get into an argument.  As scary as this is, this little script can save your life. Unresolved emotions contribute to heart disease, so unplug those arteries and stand up for yourself!
• Create a time structure you can live with. I know people who get up at 6:00 because their loved one needs a pill. At six a.m.? I'd much rather be on a 8, 12, 4, 8 schedule. You're the caregiver and consistency is important, but you should decide and dictate the care. Not them. Eating at the same time, taking their meds, and going to bed at the same time is important for everyone--but make it live-able for you.
• Ask yourself each day: "What was the best part of my day?" It can something small, like having cream for your coffee. Most of the time for me, it has to do with nature--a cardinal that bathed in the birdbath outside my kitchen window. It might be a thank you or a compliment, a surprisingly helpful bank teller. Once you start this, then you'll want something to be thankful for--you'll be looking out for it--creating it. Gratitude is good for the soul.

That's it. Nothing big or earth shattering:

Tell those do-gooders to back off. Decrease crazy maker time, walk and stretch, create a schedule you can live with, deal with something you've been dreading, tell someone how you feel and offer a solution, and be grateful. That's the beginning of a great life.

Also know that if you're changing gears--if your loved one has just taken another downward step--their Alzheimer's has gotten worse, they don't know you anymore, you think you're entering into the end of life--or if your'e grieving--then chuck all this well meaning advice and survive. Your soul is aching. Do the best you can. I cared for my mom until the end, and I know that there are times when you can't do anything but breathe--and do what is at hand. No guilt. Get through.

Caregiving has its challenges, but seeking answers to these challenges might just improve your life.

~Carol D. O'Dell

Author of Mothering Mother: A Daughter's Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir

available on Amazon

www.mothering-mother.com

Family Advisor at www.Caring.com

Syndicated blog at www.OpentoHope.com

www.kunati.com/mothering Kunati Publishing

I've been thinking a lot this week about all the roles that the caregiver takes on to support someone they love who is sick (or needs extra care like older adults). One of the roles that the caregiver takes on is that of undercover agent. You are the person who watches and takes mental and sometimes written notes about what's going on with the patient. See the person who is facing a health challenge doesn't realize that they leave clues wherever they go. It may things like what food gets thrown in the garbage or the amount of time someone spends in the bathroom. You, the caregiver, knows all, sees all and eventually will tell all.

You are the doctor's first line of defense in finding out the truth about the patient. It's important that you, if possible, go with the patient to their doctor's appointment. Unfortunately, patients have a tendency to either downplay the serious of their side effects or their health in general or they out and out lie. That's when the doctor turns to you and says "So what have you noticed since the last visit?" At that moment the patient is probably sinking into their chair because they've been busted.

What the patient doesn't realize is that by you telling the truth, you help the doctor and in turn help them feel better, increase their hope and are a part of improving their quality of life. It's not about being a snitch...it's about wanting the best possible outcome for the patient. Whether the patient is embarrassed about their experience or feel they should be able to "handle it" , why suffer if you don't have to.

Be proud of your status as an undercover agent. It may cause some tension at home, but in the long run the patient will understand that you are serving them in the highest way possible, by helping them get well.

According to the commission, the behavior, which includes “verbal outbursts and physical threats, as well as passive activities such as refusing to perform assigned tasks,” contributes to medical errors and “erodes professional behavior,” producing “an unhealthy or even hostile work environment.”

In its alert, the commission suggests that the field of healthcare has “a history of tolerance and indifference to intimidating and disruptive behaviors,” with both individuals and entire systems contributing to the problem.

The behavior often goes unreported because of the “stigma associated with ‘blowing the whistle’ on a colleague, as well as a general reluctance to confront an intimidator,” the alert said.

The commission’s 11-point plan to eliminate workplace intimidation “will take effect on January 1, 2009, as a rule for all accreditation programs,” McKnights reports. “The Commission is asking facilities to develop a system of reporting bad behavior, educate staff on professional attitudes, implement a method of dealing with unruly physicians and staff, and encourage dialogue between employees.”

A new attack on seniors is the concept of stealing one's medical identity.  By doing so, a person's benefits can be maxed out, enormous bills can be accrued, and the senior who actually needs the care can be left with no help and denied access to prescription and medical assistance.

An article in the Lansing State Journal warns of having one's medical ID stolen...

Medical identity theft can be costly

Health insurance, job prospects can be threatened by fraud

Kristen Gerencher
MCT News Service 

SAN FRANCISCO - An impostor who takes over your financial life leaves a trail of harm - and that harm can include changes to your health-care records in some cases.  

Identity theft in the health-care arena adds a layer of complexity because a thief can tap your medical information to get care or make false claims, potentially altering the course of your future treatments if you don't catch and reverse the damage, experts say. 

 

 

For example, a thief could have a different blood type or drug allergies than you do, and a doctor, nurse or hospital may not detect the mixed patient files before administering treatment based on the impostor's medical history instead of your own. Or victims may find they hit their insurance caps or become uninsurable or unemployable based on medical problems they never had.

That's the scenario privacy experts are concerned about as hospitals and health-care providers increasingly exchange digital information or seek ways to do so. But it's not just high-tech developments that are sparking worries.

A lost or stolen wallet with a health insurance card or other personal information can set the stage for fraud. The threat also comes from within as the health-care industry tries to prevent workers with access to patient files from selling them to identity-theft rings, said Pam Dixon, executive director of the World Privacy Forum, a nonprofit, public-interest research group in San Diego.

The most recent data available suggests medical ID theft affects a relatively small number of people. In 2005, more than 8 million Americans were victims of identity theft, and 3 percent of them, or about 249,000, had their personal information misused for the purpose of obtaining medical treatment, supplies or services, according to a 2006 study from the Federal Trade Commission.

People commit medical identity theft for a variety of reasons, said Linda Foley, founder of the Identity Theft Resource Center in San Diego, a nonprofit that assists victims and promotes best practices in preventing identity theft.

Some perpetrators need health care and can't or won't pay for it. Others use a stranger's information so they can procure controlled substances such as prescription painkillers more easily. Some may want to conceal a chronic condition.

 

 

So what can be done?  First, it is important to realize that most seniors use Medicaid/Medicare, and the primary identification number on these cards is one's social security number.  The El Paso Times reports that the cards themselves even give instructions for seniors to carry their cards with them whenever they are away from home, even though that isn't the best idea in the world...

By now, almost everyone must realize that their Social Security numbers have to be protected to help prevent ID theft. Yet, incredibly, Medicare includes the full Social Security numbers of nearly 44 million beneficiaries. Also, Social Security numbers appear on 8 million identity cards issued by the Pentagon to active-duty personnel, Reserves and their dependents, and military retirees.

Yet, according to an Associated Press story, the Federal Trade Commission, in a pamphlet mailed recently to every mailing address in the country, warned, "Protect your Social Security number. Don't carry your Social Security card in your wallet or write your Social Security number on a check."

However, on the back of the Medicare card is this advice: "Carry your card with you when you are away from home."

But then, Medicare's chief operating officer, Charlene Frizzera, said, "Our advice is, don't carry it with you unless you know you're going to need it."

While this might sound like bad comedy, it's actually a frightening picture of major intra-agency communications problems in the federal government. Perhaps "shambles" would be a better description.

Worse, the Medicare agency has no plans to fix the problem.

Just as long term care insurance is becoming a no-brainer for the baby boomer generation to pay for long-term, care so their children won't have to, some form of identity theft protection is needed, not only for seniors, but everyone.  If only there were some kind of shield to protect us from these predators and problems.

Lucky for all of us, there is a plan called Identity Shield, and it is offered from Pre-Paid Legal Services.  The author of this blog is a member, not only of the Shield, but of Pre-Paid Legal services as well.  I have already had one questionable item appear on my credit report, and when I contacted my Pre-Paid Legal Services to have the situation looked into, the problem was identified and fixed, all within a matter of a weeks time.  Not too shabby.

A friend of mine is Jill Feeney, and she is a Identity Theft Shield representative who can help you be sure your identity is protected.  Here is her story...

Jill Feeney is an Identity Theft expert and a local Independent Associate for Pre-Paid Legal Services, Inc.  She became a member of both the Life Events Legal Plan and Identity Theft Shield offered by Pre-Paid Legal Services about 2 years ago and after using the services only a few times, she realized the value of having a high-quality law firm only a phone call away.  According to Jill, the issues she called the Provider Law Firm about were nothing major, but she was impressed by the excellent guidance she received and there was no additional cost, other than her monthly membership fee.  It wasn’t long after that Jill was telling everyone about these services and her passion grew to the point that she decided to market the services and spread the word.  Jill’s sister is currently a victim of Identity Theft and has the Pre-Paid Legal Services plan, so she has seen the peace of mind it has brought her sister, just knowing that the responsibility for investigating and resolving the crime is being done by the experts.  We are all vulnerable to Identity Theft and particularly Senior Citizens, so Jill speaks to Senior Citizen organizations about the crime, some precautions and the best services to respond to the crime.  For more information on the Pre-Paid Legal memberships or to schedule a presentation for your organization, please contact Jill Feeney at 248-202-7182 or jpfeeney@comcast.net.

Another way to be sure your identity is safeguarded when dealing with seniors is to be sure that there is an extra set of eyes and ears in the home when you can't be there.  Home Instead Senior Care CAREGivers are trained to help seniors manage their incoming and outgoing mail, help with shredding documents, and can help with doctor's visits and prescription drug pick-ups, making sure that those pesky identification cards aren't lost or fall into the wrong hands.  And our CAREGivers are bonded and insured, and must pass a criminal background check before we even employ them.  Together, Identity Theft Shield and CAREGivers can make all the difference in the world when it comes to protecting your loved one's identity.  For more info, please call Bert Copple at 248-203-2273.

A new attack on seniors is the concept of stealing one's medical identity.  By doing so, a person's benefits can be maxed out, enormous bills can be accrued, and the senior who actually needs the care can be left with no help and denied access to prescription and medical assistance.

An article in the Lansing State Journal warns of having one's medical ID stolen...

Medical identity theft can be costly

Health insurance, job prospects can be threatened by fraud

Kristen Gerencher
MCT News Service 

SAN FRANCISCO - An impostor who takes over your financial life leaves a trail of harm - and that harm can include changes to your health-care records in some cases.  

Identity theft in the health-care arena adds a layer of complexity because a thief can tap your medical information to get care or make false claims, potentially altering the course of your future treatments if you don't catch and reverse the damage, experts say. 

For example, a thief could have a different blood type or drug allergies than you do, and a doctor, nurse or hospital may not detect the mixed patient files before administering treatment based on the impostor's medical history instead of your own. Or victims may find they hit their insurance caps or become uninsurable or unemployable based on medical problems they never had.

That's the scenario privacy experts are concerned about as hospitals and health-care providers increasingly exchange digital information or seek ways to do so. But it's not just high-tech developments that are sparking worries.

A lost or stolen wallet with a health insurance card or other personal information can set the stage for fraud. The threat also comes from within as the health-care industry tries to prevent workers with access to patient files from selling them to identity-theft rings, said Pam Dixon, executive director of the World Privacy Forum, a nonprofit, public-interest research group in San Diego.

The most recent data available suggests medical ID theft affects a relatively small number of people. In 2005, more than 8 million Americans were victims of identity theft, and 3 percent of them, or about 249,000, had their personal information misused for the purpose of obtaining medical treatment, supplies or services, according to a 2006 study from the Federal Trade Commission.

People commit medical identity theft for a variety of reasons, said Linda Foley, founder of the Identity Theft Resource Center in San Diego, a nonprofit that assists victims and promotes best practices in preventing identity theft.

Some perpetrators need health care and can't or won't pay for it. Others use a stranger's information so they can procure controlled substances such as prescription painkillers more easily. Some may want to conceal a chronic condition.

 

So what can be done?  First, it is important to realize that most seniors use Medicaid/Medicare, and the primary identification number on these cards is one's social security number.  The El Paso Times reports that the cards themselves even give instructions for seniors to carry their cards with them whenever they are away from home, even though that isn't the best idea in the world...

By now, almost everyone must realize that their Social Security numbers have to be protected to help prevent ID theft. Yet, incredibly, Medicare includes the full Social Security numbers of nearly 44 million beneficiaries. Also, Social Security numbers appear on 8 million identity cards issued by the Pentagon to active-duty personnel, Reserves and their dependents, and military retirees.

Yet, according to an Associated Press story, the Federal Trade Commission, in a pamphlet mailed recently to every mailing address in the country, warned, "Protect your Social Security number. Don't carry your Social Security card in your wallet or write your Social Security number on a check."

However, on the back of the Medicare card is this advice: "Carry your card with you when you are away from home."

But then, Medicare's chief operating officer, Charlene Frizzera, said, "Our advice is, don't carry it with you unless you know you're going to need it."

While this might sound like bad comedy, it's actually a frightening picture of major intra-agency communications problems in the federal government. Perhaps "shambles" would be a better description.

Worse, the Medicare agency has no plans to fix the problem.

Just as long term care insurance is becoming a no-brainer for the baby boomer generation to pay fordvanced medical expenses related to aging so their children won't have to, some form of identity theft protection is needed, not only for seniors, but everyone.  If only there were some kind of shield to protect us from these predators and problems...

Lucky for all of us, there is a plan called Identity Theft Shield, and it is offered from Pre-Paid Legal Services.  The author of this blog is a member, not only of the Shield, but of Pre-Paid Legal services as well.  I have already had one questionable item appear on my credit report, and when I contacted my Pre-Paid Legal Services to have the situation looked into, the problem was identified and fixed, all within a matter of a weeks time.  Not too shabby.

A friend of mine is Jill Feeney, and she is a Identity Theft Shield representative who can help you be sure your identity is protected.  Here is her story...

Jill Feeney is an Identity Theft expert and a local Independent Associate for Pre-Paid Legal Services, Inc.  She became a member of both the Life Events Legal Plan and Identity Theft Shield offered by Pre-Paid Legal Services about 2 years ago and after using the services only a few times, she realized the value of having a high-quality law firm only a phone call away.  According to Jill, the issues she called the Provider Law Firm about were nothing major, but she was impressed by the excellent guidance she received and there was no additional cost, other than her monthly membership fee.  It wasn’t long after that Jill was telling everyone about these services and her passion grew to the point that she decided to market the services and spread the word.  Jill’s sister is currently a victim of Identity Theft and has the Pre-Paid Legal Services plan, so she has seen the peace of mind it has brought her sister, just knowing that the responsibility for investigating and resolving the crime is being done by the experts.  We are all vulnerable to Identity Theft and particularly Senior Citizens, so Jill speaks to Senior Citizen organizations about the crime, some precautions and the best services to respond to the crime.  For more information on the Pre-Paid Legal memberships or to schedule a presentation for your organization, please contact Jill Feeney at 248-202-7182 or jpfeeney@comcast.net.

Another way to be sure your identity is safeguarded when dealing with seniors is to be sure that there is an extra set of eyes and ears in the home when you can't be there.  Home Instead Senior Care CAREGivers are trained to help seniors manage their incoming and outgoing mail, help with shredding documents, and can help with doctor's visits and prescription drug pick-ups, making sure that those pesky identification cards aren't lost or fall into the wrong hands.  And our CAREGivers are bonded and insured, and must pass a criminal background check before we even employ them.  Together, Identity Theft Shield and CAREGivers can make all the difference in the world when it comes to protecting your loved one's identity.  For more info, please call Bert Copple at 248-203-2273.