The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Hulk Hogan (4/2/1989)
Intercontinental Champion: Ultimate Warrior (8/28/1989)
World Tag Team Champions: The Brain Busters (7/18/1989)
Women's Champion: Rockin' Robin (10/7/1988)

Tonight, Roddy Piper has to deal with *HAKU* tonight. Bless me. But first, Randy Savage plans to be a royal pain in Jimmy Snuka's behind. OOO YEAH! Somebody call my momma, the Bushwhackers are here! Oh, and can't forget about this next one. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Ted DiBiase and Zeus are together. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And finally, Hulk says all of DiBiase's money can't buy him the WWF title. Umm, somebody roll the tape from I believe the date was February 5, 1988 in Hogan's life. His memory not so good. This is all so confusing, so it must be time for Saturday Night's Main Event!

Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Jesse "The Male Cleopatra" Ventura.

• Jimmy Snuka vs. Randy Savage (w/Queen Sherri)
  

Savage attacks right at the bell, but then runs into a double chop and a Jumping Headbutt. HUGE atomic drop puts Savage on the floor and we are rockin' and rollin'! Back in, Sherri grabs Snuka's foot to help out her man. Jumping knee drop from Savage gets two. Snuka gets dumped out for a flying double-sledge. With the ref distracted, Sherri and Savage take turns choking Snuka on the apron. Savage hits a high knee to the back and Snuka starts to JIMMY UP! He chops Savage into an oblivion. Savage flips himself into the corner and gets stuck in a tree of woe. Snuka shoves the ref around and that allows Sherri to free Savage up and sneak her loaded purse to him. Sherri gets grabbed on the apron as Savage nails Snuka with the purse! Savage gets rid of the evidence and rolls up Snuka using the tights and gets 1-2-3. (5:39) Savage tries the MACHO ELBOW after the match, but Snuka moves. He heads up for the SUPERFLY SPLASH, but Sherri stands in his way long enough for Savage to get to his feet. He winds up leaping over Sherri and headbutts Savage out of the ring. Ahh, Savage is always fun. **

WWF Flashback: They show clips of Zeus from the past five months where Hogan has been completely unable to stop him. When a chairshot doesn't phase your enemy, it's time to leave.

• WWF World Champion Hulk Hogan vs. Ted DiBiase (w/Zeus) – Million Dollar Match
  

DiBiase has bought him a new insurance policy so he can finally grasp hold of the WWF title for real this time. Yeah, I don't know what a 'Million Dollar Match' is exactly. Just a fancy subtitle, I guess. Zeus starts grabbing Hulk's ankles right from the start. Hogan unloads on DiBiase, but Zeus grabs his foot again and they start choking one another. DiBiase nails Hulk, but Hogan comes right back and charges into the corner with an elbow. He starts pounding away on DiBiase past the five count, so ref Earl Hebner pulls him off Ted by the little hair that he has left! When Hogan goes to argue with Hebner, DiBiase rakes the face and Zeus gets in some more choking. Hulk's Survivor Series teammate Jake Roberts comes down to even the score. DiBiase gets distracted by Roberts and rolled up by Hulk for 1-2-NO! Hogan avoids a pair of elbow drops and fires away on DiBiase. Meanwhile, Virgil runs down and jets past Roberts to grab Damien's bag to bring Jake away from ringside. I miss heels having backup plans like that. DiBiase clotheslines Hulk out to the floor as we go to break. AND WE'RE BACK! Hogan fights out of a chinlock into a double-KO. Zeus nails Hulk as he comes off the ropes to cut off his comeback. DiBiase hits the Fist Drop and a flying knee drop. Cover, 1-2-NO! It's HULK UP time! He connects with the three punches and a Big Boot, but Zeus comes in and grabs Hogan from behind. Heel miscommunication ensues and DiBiase gets caught in a small package for 1-2-3. (8:03) Hogan and Zeus have another standoff. DiBiase nails Hulk from behind and tells Zeus to twist his head off. Sounds like a plan to me. Hogan gets his head twisted, leaving DiBiase and Zeus to stand tall. It's like Jesse Ventura is booking everything Zeus does. DiBiase clamps on the MILLION DOLLAR DREAM until Jake Roberts and Damien scare them away. **½

WWF Flashback: The Roddy Piper/Rick Rude feud.

• Roddy Piper vs. Haku (w/Bobby Heenan)
  

Now Piper will take out the Heenan Family one-by-one starting with Haku to get at Rick Rude. Piper delivers some Misawa blows to Haku to start. I'm talking a Rolling Elbow in there, folks. Haku takes a clothesline to the floor and Boobsy gets chased around. Haku saves Heenan with a clothesline. Back in, Haku delivers a shoulderbreaker for two. He tries a flying splash, but there's nobody home. Here comes Piper! He finishes Haku off with a belly-to-belly suplex? (3:03) What, is he Rick Steiner now? Harmless Heenan Family beating. *

• Tito Santana (w/Red Rooster, Brutus Beefcake & Dusty Rhodes) vs. Rick Martel (w/Slick, Big Bossman, Akeem, Honky Tonk Man & Jimmy Hart)
  

Martel brings his Survivor Series team with him to the ring, so Santana returns the favor. Huge slugfest to start. Santana surprises Martel with a crossbody for two. Martel goes low and yanks Tito into the corner. Martel quickly ducks low off a whip and Santana's back in control. FLYING JALAPENO! Cover, 1-2-NO! Slick gets up on the apron to get Santana off the cover. It ALMOST breaks down to an eight-man brawl as we go to break. AND WE'RE BACK! Martel nails Santana from behind and avoids a clothesline, which takes Santana to the floor. Back in, Martel starts to work on the back to possibly set up for the Quebec Crab. Santana elbows out of a chinlock and gets a backslide for 1-2-NO! I love how Martel sells the backslide – when he goes down, it's like falling backwards off a cliff. Martel applies the QUEBEC CRAB, but Santana is quickly in the ropes. Santana powers out into a pinning predicament for 1-2-NO! Martel hits a backbreaker and heads up top, but Santana shakes the ropes and crotches his former Strike Force partner. Santana proceeds to beat the ever living crap out of Martel and looks to go for the Figure Four until Slick gets up on the apron again. That causes Bossman to hop in the ring and this eight-man brawl cannot be postponed any longer. As a result, both guys are DQ'ed. (8:11) One of my personal favorite rivalries that never got the right payoff. ***

• The Bushwhackers vs. The Rougeau Brothers (w/Jimmy Hart)
  

Before the match really gets under way, Jimmy Hart gets stripped down to his French Canadian boxers by the Bushwhackers and he runs to the back in shame. The Rougeaus attack after the fact and deliver the Quebec crab/knee drop combo to Butch. Jacques connects with the jumping reverse elbow, but then accidentally hits Raymond with a high knee. HOT TAG TO LUKE! Jacques flips over Luke, but gets nailed with a clothesline. Raymond runs in and elbow drops his brother by accident and the Rougeaus take a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! BATTERING RAM to Jacques, and the Double Gutbuster gets the 1-2-3. (3:20) Never seen the Rougeaus dominated like that before by a comedy team. ½*

As usual, we close the show out with Hulk Hogan, brother. He whines about his neck and vows revenge at the Survivor Series. Now we know where his son learned how to whine.

Final Thoughts: Not a bad show to tag along with the Survivor Series. For any other reason, you may just want to check it out for Santana vs. Martel. Thumbs in the middle for SNME #23.

The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Yokozuna (6/13/1993)
Intercontinental Champion: Razor Ramon (9/27/1993)
World Tag Team Champions: The Quebecers (9/13/1993)

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bobby Heenan.

• Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, Marty Jannetty, & Randy Savage vs. Irwin R. Schyster, Diesel, Rick Martel & Adam Bomb (w/Harvey Wippleman) – 4-on-4 Survivor Series Elimination Match
  

OOOO YEAH! Savage is subbing for Mr. Perfect while he lays low during the steroid trials. Evidently Hennig was more guilty than Savage, which seems hard to believe. Team IRS can't seem to get along because of Harvey Wippleman screwing up at cheating all the time in their matches, so there's your story. Ramon and Martel start off trading hammerlocks. Both guys were feuding over the IC title belt at the time. Martel runs into a Fallaway Slam for two. Razor delivers a pair of atomic drops to Martel, so Adam Bomb gets a tag. Probably better known as Nightstalker, Wrath or Bryan Clarke in WCW. They do a stand-off, followed by Adam Bomb shoving Razor down from a tie-up. They play around with a test of strength, but Ramon launches Adam Bomb to escape and gets two. Martel elbow drops Adam Bomb by mistake and now everybody on Team IRS is mad! Like a good captain, IRS calms them down. I knew all the training he received as a naval captain somehow in some way would come in handy one of these days. 1-2-3 Kid tags in and thinks he can go toe-to-toe with Adam Bomb. He throws the Kid around a bit and tags in Diesel for another game of midget-tossing. 1-2-3 Kid puts a stop to it with a headscissors and tags in Savage. He gets rid of Diesel's teammates and finishes him off with a MACHO ELBOW! (10:20) Martel attacks Savage from behind, but he blocks a turnbuckle smash and returns the favor. Tag to Razor and IRS. IRS shoves off a headlock and Savage gets nailed with a knee from the apron by Martel. He delivers a backbreaker on Razor as Heenan asks McMahon if he's ever cheated anybody. Vince denies any such thing, but that's just the character talking. Razor plays face-in-peril for a while as the heels jump in and out of the ring without tagging. IRS runs into a boot and Savage gets a tag. He sets up IRS for the MACHO ELBOW as Crush comes down the aisle. Savage spots him from the top rope and goes down to get him some, but his teammates hold him off. He's still so preoccupied with Crush that he's easy-pickings for a rollup and gets eliminated. (16:47) And that's all Crush wanted to do. Savage goes back to the dressing room and goes into lunatic-mode trying to find Crush so he can beat his freakin' head in. Back in the ring, Martel has Jannetty in an ab stretch. Adam Bomb helps out with some leverage. Hey, that's Rotunda's spot! Martel charges into the corner post and Jannetty tags Razor. He gives IRS a chokeslam and calls for the RAZOR'S EDGE! That'll do it for the IRS. (19:35) A pier-six brawl erupts and during the MAYHEM~!, IRS sneaks back in the ring and breaks up a RAZOR'S EDGE by nailing Ramon in the chest with his briefcase. OH NOES! Razor falls out to the floor and gets counted out. (20:45) It's now down to Martel/Adam Bomb vs. 1-2-3 Kid/Jannetty. Kid dropkicks Adam Bomb out to the floor, but gets caught after a suicide dive and slammed on the floor. Adam Bomb hits a slingshot clothesline back in, but misses a corner charge and takes an enziguri. Tag to Martel, Kid catches him coming off the middle rope and hot tags Jannetty. Kid tags in for a double back elbow and a Jack Brisco rollup gets three on Martel. (25:51) Adam Bomb is in and reaches over to grab Kid as Jannetty tags and sunset flips in for 1-2-3. (26:01) Survivors: 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty. Solid enough match, but I think they could've done more by getting Adam Bomb over. As a result of the finish, the Kid/Jannetty tag team is born. ***¼

In the back, Todd Pettingell is standing by with Shawn Michaels. Shawn has been reinstated in the WWF and calls himself the undisputed Intercontinental champion.

• Bret, Owen, Keith & Bruce Hart (w/Stu Hart) vs. Shawn Michaels, Blue Knight, Red Knight & Black Knight - 4-on-4 Survivor Series Elimination Match
  

There is TWENTY Hart family members in attendance tonight. Family Feud's Ray Combs tells some really bad Family Feud-related HBK jokes. See, because the Hart family is here and Jerry Lawler has been making fun of the Hart family over the last five months - it's a family feud. Due to the recent charges of Lawler having had sex with a minor that were later dropped, Lawler took a hiatus from the WWF. Because of all the bad media attention they were receiving because of the steroid trials, Vince didn't really need "teenage rapist" added to the laundry list of problems in the WWF. So Shawn Michaels is reinstated after some steroid troubles that he later denies in his book. Of course the kayfabe reason being that he was stripped of the IC belt since it wasn't defended in 30 days and quit the WWF. Ray Combs joins Vince and Bobby at the announce table. Stu wears a Boston Bruins jacket to the ring to make him easy to love. Heenan says he swiped it from the souvenirs booth. The Knights gimmick doesn't make any sense here considering there's no Jerry "The King" Lawler, but they went with it anyway. The Blue Knight is Greg Valentine, the Red Knight is Barry Horowitz, and the Black Knight is Jeff Gaylord from the USWA. Bruce wants Shawn, so they start the match. Shawn and the Knights do NOT work well as a team for starters as there is all sorts of heel miscommunication. Keith Hart tags in and he is all about armbars. Owen and the Red Knight give it a go. He gives the Red Knight a bunch of armdrags while Bobby mentions how Owen lives in Bret's shadow. Black Knight gets stuck in the Harts corner and takes a hiptoss over to the Blue Knight for a tag. Bret tags in and gives Valentine a clothesline. Bruce tags and plays Hart-in-peril for a while. Bret gets a hot tag and a couple nearfalls on the Black Knight. Backbreaker/flying elbow drop gets two. Owen tags in for a spinning heel kick and now everybody comes in for a fight. The Knights and HBK all get whipped into each other, leaving the Black Knight all alone for a missile dropkick from Owen. Cover, 1-2-3. (10:49) The Harts work over the Red Knight's leg for a bit. Shawn breaks up a FIGURE-FOUR by Keith with an elbow drop. Now the Knights take control and pound on Keith's arm. The hot tag to Bret comes when Shawn misses a Rocket Launcher. Bret grabs the Red Knight and hooks on the SHARPSHOOTER for the submission. (18:09) The Blue Knight nails Bret from behind and throws him out in front of the announce table. Back in, The Hammer drops an elbow for two. Meanwhile, Stu is massaging Keith's arm and shoulder. Shawn hits a jumping back elbow and clamps on a chinlock. Bret elbows out, but runs into a knee. The Blue Knight headbutts the groin for two. Blue Knight runs into a boot and takes a clothesline. Hot tag to Owen, he delivers the ten-count corner punch and a flying elbow on Shawn for 1-2-NO! Shawn slides out to avoid being whipped into a right hand from Owen and grabs Stu, only to get popped right in the mouth. Of course, only Shawn can sell it like he's been punched out of his mind. Owen follows out with a pescado. Back in, Owen and Bruce double-clothesline Shawn out of the ring before Owen slaps the SHARPSHOOTER on the Blue Knight for another submission. (23:47) Now it's four against Shawn! Bruce dominates Shawn until he runs into an elbow in the corner. Superkick gets two. Shawn ducks low off a whip and pays for it followed by a hot tag to Bret. Atomic drop, catapult and a Russian legsweep gets two. Bret goes for a backbreaker, but Shawn rakes the eyes. Bret sells like Shawn literally ripped his eye out and tags in Owen. He delivers a NICE belly-to-belly suplex for 1-2-NO! Bret, still holding his eye, walks down the apron as Owen comes off the ropes and knocks Bret down onto the guardrail. Owen turns around to see what just happened and gets rolled up from behind for 1-2-3. Owen is PISSED! Bret's injured, but all Owen can think about is that he is the only Hart family member to be eliminated. Bruce checks on Bret and then goes after Shawn. He hits a sweet clothesline and a sleeper, but Shawn breaks loose by ramming Bruce into the corner. Keith tags and grabs an ab stretch. Shawn hiptosses out and Bret gets a tag. Shawn gets crotched on the top rope and goes for a seesaw ride. He escapes a SHARPSHOOTER attempt and heads to the dressing room to take the countout loss. (30:57) Survivors: Bret, Bruce and Keith Hart. During the Hart family celebration, Owen Hart comes back down to the ring and yells at Bret. His brothers try to cool him down, but that's not going to work this time. Owen to Stu ~ "What about me? I never get any recognition, it's always Bret!" Helen Hart starts to cry in the front row. Stu would cry too, but I don't think his face can express feelings anymore. This might would rock the house in Calgary by itself, but not in Boston and not without Jerry Lawler. This was useless and made no sense apart from the Bret/Owen storyline, but they had to give us something to further it. **

• SMW Tag Team Champions The Rock N Roll Express vs. The Heavenly Bodies (w/Jim Cornette)
  

JR and Monsoon do PBP while McMahon and Heenan call the action on WWF Radio. It's a good thing, too. Who would rather hear Vince call this match than JR? Monsoon and Heenan have been having their problems as of late and Gorilla nearly cold cocks him when they switch tables, but decides it isn't worth the energy. The Bodies dump the RNR Express out to the floor. They flip Gibson back in the ring from the apron, but Morton doesn't let it happen to him and pulls the Bodies outside. Morton follows up with a suicide dive and now the action settles down to some good ol' fashioned southern tag wrestling. Del Ray and Gibson start the match. Gibson delivers a headscissors and then they switch with Morton and Pritchard. Pritchard tries to work the crowd, but they just don't care about these two teams in Boston. Morton hiptosses the crap out of the Bodies and avoids a Del Ray superkick that hits Pritchard instead. The Bodies get whipped into the corner for consecutive monkey flips. The Bodies are whipped into each other again to set up a row boat by the Express. They isolate Pritchard and work the leg while knocking Del Ray off the apron every now and then. Pritchard goes to the eyes and tags Del Ray who runs into an armbar. Del Ray backs Morton into the corner and whips him across, but Gibson blocks the force of the blow by leaping onto the top turnbuckle. Pritchard tries to do the same, so Morton brings Del Ray back into the opposite corner. DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER to the Bodies! They take a walk out to the floor with Corny. Pritchard tags in and hits a Doctorbomb on Morton. Tag to Del Ray, Pritchard flips him over onto Morton for 1-2-NO! Pritchard's back in and he dumps Morton out for an ASAI MOONSAULT by Del Ray! Wouldn't that be a US PPV first? Back in, Pritchard hits a powerslam for 1-2-NO! Del Ray lifts Morton up for a side slam as Pritchard comes off the ropes with a neckbreaker of sorts. Kind of like a horizontal Hart Attack. That gets two. Veg-O-Matic to Morton! Cover, 1-2-NO! Del Ray wants a powerbomb, but Morton ranas out for two. Morton gets an inside cradle on Pritchard for another two. Del Ray hits the Moonsault Press for 1-2-NO! Gibson makes the save. Morton counters a double-backdrop into a double DDT and makes what would be a hot tag to Gibson down in Tennessee. Morton gets thrown over the top rope which would be a DQ down in the Smoky Mountains, but this is sanctioned by the WWF. While the ref is busy with Pritchard, Morton nails Del Ray with a flying bodypress. He's got the cover (even though he's not legal), but Pritchard breaks it up. The RNR Express surprise Pritchard with the DOUBLE DROPKICK for 1-2-NO! Cornette gets knocked off the apron and still manages to toss Del Ray the tennis racket to come off the top onto Gibson. The ref didn't see a thing since he was getting Morton out of the ring, as Pritchard rolls Gibson over and covers for 1-2-3. (13:41) This was actually the Heavenly Bodies: Del Ray/Pritchard edition's first SMW tag title win. Even though the crowd didn't give two craps about either one of these teams, this was a great tag team match. By the way, Jimmy Del Ray is the freaking man. ***½

• The Bushwhackers & Men on a Mission (w/Oscar) vs. Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger & the Headshrinkers (w/Luna Vachon and Afa) - 4-on-4 Survivor Series Elimination Match
  

This is the match of misfit wrestlers if there ever was one. Well, the real Doink the Clown Matt Borne was released because of drug issues, so instead of going with the actual Doink team, they just dress up the Bushwhackers and MOM as Doinks. Crowd chants "we want Doink", but they aren't going to get him. Luke bites Booger on the butt. Wow, that sentence looks like something a five year old would come up with while working on a mad lib. Samu comes in and stomps Luke down on the mat, but is promptly rolled up with the use of the tights to be eliminated. (3:02) Butch gets owned by the heels. Booger delivers the TRIP TO THE BATCAVE. Ugh. He tries it again with a banana in his mouth, but Mabel has already pulled Butch out of the way and Booger falls to his doom. The Bushwhackers knock Booger over with the BATTERING RAM to set up a Mabel legdrop for 1-2-3. (6:03) Fatu beats another one of the Bushwhackers with a half-eaten turkey while Mo rides a scooter inside the ring. WTF? Bigelow does the coolest thing ever by coming up behind Mo and enziguri kicking him off the scooter. YES! Fatu splashes Mo off Bigelow, but gets distracted by a banana peel? Butch has a bucket in the ring and fakes Fatu out by throwing nothing at him. Fatu sells it anyway and Butch cradles him for 1-2-3. (8:33) It's come down to four-on-one. Bigelow dumps everybody out but Mabel because he's humongous. Bigelow can't put him down until the guy misses an avalanche and Bigelow gives him a jumping shoulderblock. One of the Bushwhackers throws something on Luna at ringside, causing Bigelow to head over to the corner. The MOM sandwich him in the corner and Mabel splashes him as everyone dog piles Bigelow for 1-2-3. (10:59) Survivors: The Bushwhackers & Men on a Mission. Completely retarded and an utter waste of time. Doink shows up on the tron and taunts Bigelow. CRAPPITY CRAP

• Lex Luger, Undertaker & the Steiner Brothers (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Yokozuna, Crush, Jacques Rougeau & Ludvig Borga (w/Jim Cornette, Mr. Fuji & Johnny Polo) – 4-on-4 Survivor Series Elimination Match
  

Ahh yes, WWF is suffering from another bad case of xenophobia. It tends to contaminate the WWF about every four to six years. Wait, why is Crush on the "foreigners" team? He's from Hawaii. Looks like he's subbing for Pierre LaFitte. Jacques wants a handshake, but Scott doesn't shake hands with foreigners and gives him a release belly-to-belly suplex instead. Rick tags, so Jacques tags Yokozuna. He judo chops Rick, but misses a clothesline and receives a Steinerline. A pair of shoulderblocks puts Yoko through the ropes and to the floor. Borga tags and dumps Rick out. Rick comes back in off the top with a double ax-handle, but can't capitalize. Rick comes off the top again and gets slammed in mid-air for 1-2-3. (5:05) Scott presses Jacques onto Crush. Crush isn't phased by it and puts the Quebecer down. Scott delivers the double-underhook slam, but Crush slows Scott down with a roundhouse kick. Randy Savage starts to make his way down to ringside to get at Crush, but about twenty security people cut him off. Crush then proceeds to throw Scott out to the floor, jamming Scott's knee in the process. Savage continues to distract Crush. Scott comes up behind Crush and dropkicks him out to the floor. Crush reaches Savage and they start beating the crap out of each other – leading to Crush being counted out. (11:36) Scott gets beat down in the corner while Jacques draws Lex into the ring. Taker has yet to do anything at all but stand on the apron. Jacques hits the jumping back elbow for two. Piledriver? Yes! Cover, 1-2-NO! Scott comes back with a press slam and reaches Luger for a tag. Luger slams Jacques and delivers a flying elbow drop for 1-2-3. Huh? (14:05) Borga wants Luger, but Scott's enough for him to handle right now. Borga splashes Scott, but gets crotched up top for a superplex. Cover, 1-2-NO! Yoko makes the save. Yoko misses an elbow drop, so Scott thinks it's a good idea to try a FRANKENSTEINER. Of course, that ultimately fails and Yoko delivers the Legdrop for three. (16:58) Luger and Yokozuna do a standoff. Yoko goes low on Lex and tries a splash, but nobody's home. Luger delivers a pair of clotheslines, but Yokozuna puts him down with only one. Luger plays face-in-peril as Borga and Yoko punch him around until Yoko misses a corner splash. HOT TAG TO THE UNDERTAKER! Crowd goes nuts. He hits the jumping DDT off the ropes on Yoko. Borga distracts Taker, setting him up for a Belly-to-Belly Suplex. Taker tries to do the sit-up, so Yoko Legdrops him. BANZAI SPLASH! He tries a second one, but Taker sits up. Taker hits the jumping lariat and they go to the floor. Taker NO-SELLS a head smash on the steps, causing Yoko to freak out and get his own head smashed on the steps. Both guys get counted out. Booooo. (23:26) We're down to just Borga vs. Luger. Apparently, Luger's still down from the beating he received earlier. Either that or its past his bedtime. Borga tries to put Luger away with power moves, but it just won't work. Luger counters a suplex, but that leads to a double-KO spot. Meanwhile, Johnny Polo hops up on the apron to distract the ref while Fuji sneaks in the ring and hands Borga the wooden pail. Borga nails Luger in the head with the pail and gets rid of the evidence. Cover, 1-2-NO! Luger makes his comeback and hits the RUNNING FOREARM OF AMERICAN STEEL for the win. (27:59) Survivor: Lex Luger. He celebrates like he just won the WWF title, including a special guest appearance from Santa Claus! Not too bad, but the finishes were either out of nowhere or uncreative at best. **½

Final Thoughts: Pretty much a passable show. Some major storylines were furthered that would impact 1994 in a big way, but nothing that you couldn't watch in video packages prior to the blowoff matches at the Royal Rumble or WrestleMania 10. You wouldn't miss a thing by just watching those shows instead. There is still a few decent matches here though and since there's only five matches, that's a pretty good ratio. I'll give this a mild thumbs in the middle. It's okay to watch it, but its not a must-see. If you decide to watch it, fast forward past the Doinks.

The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: vacant (12/4/1991)
Intercontinental Champion: The Mountie (1/17/1992)
World Tag Team Champions: The Legion of Doom (8/26/1991)

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan!

• The New Foundation vs. The Orient Express (w/Mr. Fuji)
  

Owen Hart & Jim Neidhart are the New Foundation. What's different about them from the original Hart Foundation is that they wear MC Hammer pants to the ring instead of the pink and black tights. Owen works on Kato's arm to start, flipping and flopping all around the ring and wowing the crowd. Hurracanrana gets two. Neidhart comes in and shoves the Orient Express around. Neidhart gives Tanaka a spinebuster to set up a flying elbow drop from Owen for 1-2-NO! Owen backflips over Tanaka in the corner and nails him with an enziguri before he tags Neidhart and whips him into Tanaka. Double-team from the Orient Express fails and they wind up taking a flying bodypress from Owen. Awesome! Owen hits the spinning heel kick on Kato for two. The Express have a conference and soon after, Tanaka kicks Owen in the back of the head as he comes off the ropes to change the momentum. Fuji even jabs his cane into his throat to slow him down. The Express do a great job of cutting the ring off and keeping Owen on their side of town. Tanaka gets REAL cocky with Owen too and I love that. He comes back with a crucifix on Kato, but only gets two. Tanaka slows Owen down again with the jumping forearm move. False tag spot follows and Owen gets sent crashing into the cane in the corner. Owen gets a Belly-to-Belly Suplex out of nowhere for 1-2-NO! Kato draws Neidhart in just before Owen reaches him. The Express deliver a leapfrog-backbreaker combo, but Owen comes back with a double dropkick. HOT TAG TO NEIDHART! Owen slingshots for a double-shoulderblock. Kato gets knocked out to the floor to set up a SUICIDE DIVE from Owen! That does it for him. ROCKET LAUNCHER connects on Tanaka for the 1-2-3. (17:17) Great match and another standout Orient Express tag match at the Royal Rumble. ***½

• WWF Intercontinental Champion The Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Roddy Piper
  

Bret dropped the IC belt to Mountie two days earlier at Springfield Massachusetts when he decided to compete against doctor's orders with a 104 temperature. Apparently, that's kayfabe code for contractual issues, because that's the real reason Bret lost. During the post-match celebration, Mountie beat up Bret with the belt and Roddy Piper came to his rescue. When Piper got beat with the belt as well, Piper challenged Mountie for a title shot at the Royal Rumble, so here we are. Piper pretty much squashes Mountie and after some heel miscommunication, Piper slaps on the SLEEPER and uncles Mountie right in the middle of the ring. (5:20) Piper's first title win in nine years. Afterwards, Piper gets the cattle prod and shocks Mountie's rear end. ¾*

• The Bushwhackers (w/Jamison) vs. The Beverly Brothers (w/The Genius)
  

Voted worst match of the year by pretty much everyone in '92. Jamison is some nerdy guy who hangs out with the 'Whackers. I don't really know too much about him and don't really want to, honestly. All I know is, he has some beef with the Genius. Usual Bushwhacker crap with biting butts and strutting around like a couple idiots. Blake and Beau work on Luke for a LONG while. Butch gets the hot tag, but he's cooled down with a double-ax handle for the 1-2-3. (14:56) The match makes no sense. The Beverlys can beat on Luke for ten minutes, but Butch gets hit with a double-ax handle and it's all over? ½*

• WWF World Tag Team Champions The Legion of Doom vs. The Natural Disasters (w/Jimmy Hart)
  

Hawk stands up to the Disasters to start. Quake attempts a dropkick, but Hawk just moves out of the way and lets Quake splat on the mat. Monsoon ~ "That was disastrous !" Animal tags in and goes for a slam on Quake, but that's not going to happen. Quake lands on top of Animal and tags Typhoon. He gets whipped into Animal for a corner splash. He tries another, but Animal gets a boot up to block and nails him with a clothesline. Hawk comes in and can't put him down with a clothesline, so Typhoon catches him with multiple backbreakers. Quake tags in for an elbow drop, then Typhoon tags for a Bossman Straddle. The Disasters trade off on bearhugs, but then Quake misses a splash and Hawk puts him down with a flying elbow. HOT TAG TO ANIMAL! Big brawl leads to all four guys fighting on the floor, but Typhoon who happens to be the legal guy, rolls back in just before the ten-count to give them the win. (9:22) The Disasters win the match, but not the titles. Jimmy Hart gives up on Earthquake and Typhoon within a few weeks to manage a team who CAN beat LOD for the titles: Ted DiBiase and IRS. *

• The Rumble – for the Vacant WWF World Championship
  

To this day sixteen years later, there has never been more on the line in a Rumble match. There has been WrestleMania main event spots, but never the most prized possession in wrestling: the WWF title. Because of all the Hogan/Taker shenanigans at "This Tuesday In Texas" PPV, WWF (kayfabe) president Jack Tunney vacated the belt and announced the winner of the Royal Rumble would be named the undisputed WWF world champion. Now Ric Flair had been prancing around the WWF for months, calling himself the real world's champion after leaving Jim Herd and WCW in the dust over a contract/creative dispute and taking with him the NWA's Big Gold belt that he owned and never received his money for. By this point though, Herd and WCW settled the title dispute and the belt was returned, but Flair still called himself the real world's champion and instead carried some other WWF belt with him that was blurred out on TV. Tonight is Flair's biggest opportunity to date. It's put up or shut up. If he wins tonight, then this victory will back up everything he's been ranting about for the past few months. I think that sets the stage quite nicely.

Flair calls this match on his DVD set the "who's who" match. Pretty much anybody that was somebody during the boom period in the '80s was in this match. With Heenan on commentary and in Flair's back pocket, he's hoping and praying that Flair didn't draw #1 or #2. Ted DiBiase draws #1, Davey Boy Smith draws #2. Heenan's able to relax for the opening two minutes of the match. DiBiase hits his signature moves (vertical suplex, gutwrench suplex). He tries to toss Bulldog out, but DBS falls on the apron and clotheslines DiBiase out on the other side of the ring. It's time for #3 to appear, and it's Ric Flair. Heenan's heart sinks to the ground. Monsoon makes it worse by mentioning that no one has ever won the Rumble match after drawing numbers this low. What a Negative Nancy. DBS kills Flair with press slams and clotheslines and dumps Flair out to the apron as Jerry Sags comes in at #4. Davey Boy gets double-teamed for a bit because heels stick together. DBS ducks on a double-clothesline and returns the favor. Sags gets dumped out to the apron and then poses to congratulate himself on not losing, and then DBS dropkicks him off the apron. We're back to Davey Boy Smith vs. Ric Flair. Haku is our #5 entrant. The heels do more double-teaming, but then Haku turns on Flair! Heenan is irate! Flair tries to turn Haku over in the corner for some chopping, but he NO-SELLS and Flair bails out under the bottom rope. Back in, after Haku gives DBS a piledriver, Flair grabs Haku and starts up some eye-gouging. Haku chops back, but then takes a backdrop out to the floor from Davey Boy. The recently turned heel Shawn Michaels enters in #6. Like, he just gave Marty Jannetty the superkick a week before this. Shawn immediately goes after his boyhood hero, Ric Flair. Seems odd that he would do that since he's a fresh heel and everything, but whatever. Flair bumps around for Shawn, then Shawn bumps around for Davey Boy. Shawn ALMOST gets eliminated by DBS, but he slips back in and superkicks Davey Boy down. Flair rests in the corner and lets the other two battle it out. He sneak attacks Davey Boy and tosses Shawn out to the apron, as Tito Santana comes in #7. Excuse me, he's the EL MATADOR! It turns into a two faces vs. two heels matchup. Flair nearly eliminates DBS, but Santana saves and hits Flair with the FLYING JALAPENO! The Barbarian is #8, putting the babyfaces at a disadvantage. Barb and Flair try their hardest to get DBS over the ropes. Kerry Von Erich enters in at #9. He goes after Flair, which brings back some old memories. Repo Man is our #10 entrant. He sneaks in the ring and then makes no impact whatsoever. Lots of punching and kicking ensues.

Greg Valentine runs down as the #11 guy. Valentine had finally broke away from Jimmy Hart to start a face run, but that was short-lived as he returns to WCW in a few weeks. Heenan tries to think positively about Flair's condition, but Monsoon tells him to just forget about it. Nikolai Volkoff draws #12 and gets booed on his way to the ring. Alright, something's got to give. The ring is getting too full here. There's nine guys in there right now. Big Bossman is our #13 guy. The crowd erupts as Bossman starts wailing on everybody. Valentine gets dumped out by Repo Man. Shawn gets stuck in a near-elimination spot with Bossman and Von Erich. Repo makes the save, so Bossman throws him out. Heenan's getting paranoid and begs Monsoon to let him go to ringside. DBS places Flair up against the ropes and gets dumped out. WOO! Von Erich goes for a TORNADO PUNCH on Flair, but he ducks and sends Von Erich to the floor. Santana and Michaels dump each other out, setting up their match at WrestleMania. That gets rid of everyone but Flair, Bossman and Barbarian. Hercules, who looks SO tired, comes in at #14. Flair and Barbarian high-five each other because heels stick together. What Barbarian doesn't realize is he just made a deal with the devil himself, and Flair immediately turns on the big guy and chops away. Barb NO-SELLS and oh boy is Flair in danger. Barbarian gives Flair a press slam and tries to send him out, but Hercules comes over and dumps Barbarian out from behind as Flair lands on the apron and slides back in the ring. Meanwhile, Bossman clotheslines Barbarian out. Flair begs off Bossman and then pokes him in the eyes, but Bossman comes back with a clothesline. Bossman's fired up and winds up missing a charge and flying over the top rope. WOO! Now that Flair's all alone, he finally fall on his face and rest. Surely the next guy will be some other brainless muscle-bound punk, right? Wrong! Roddy Piper is our #15 guy and boy does he want him some of Flair. This isn't fair to Flair at all. Flair bails out, but Piper follows him and brings him back in for the ten-count corner punch. Piper slips away from the atomic drop out of the corner and pokes Flair in the eyes. Piper gives Flair an airplane spin, which is just an awesome move to do if you want to torture someone in a battle royal. He puts on the SLEEPER as Jake Roberts enters in at #16. Jake just sits in the corner while Piper punishes Flair until he turns his back on Jake and then gets stomped. Jake punches Piper down in the corner and then gives Flair the Short-Arm Clothesline to set up the DDT, but Piper stops that with a clothesline. Flair applies the FIGURE-FOUR and grabs the top rope for leverage just because he can and gets away with it here. Piper breaks that up and all three guys take turns punching on each other. Hacksaw Jim Duggan comes in at #17. We get into another hot two faces vs. two heels sequence . IRS enters in at #18. A bunch of near-eliminations follow for the faces. Jimmy Snuka, who is only here for one night to replace Marty Jannetty, is our #19 entrant. Flair and Piper go through a pretty fun exchange. Flair is just taking a beating here. #20 is Undertaker. Jake Roberts welcomes him to the match. Taker walks right in and dumps Snuka out. Nobody can hurt Undertaker here. NOBODY.

Randy Savage SPRINTS to the ring as our #21 guy. He wants Jake, but Jake's slithered out and hiding down at ringside so that Savage can't find him. Taker nails him from behind and chokes him down so that Jake can come after him with no problem. Savage wakes up and a Running High Knee puts Jake out on the floor. Savage jumps over the top rope to get at Jake some more. Taker grabs Savage and throws him back in the ring. According to the rules in this match, the only way to lose is to be thrown out by someone else. You can't just eliminate yourself. Flair and Savage go for a bit. The Bezerker is #22. Flair tries to suplex Savage out from the apron, but Savage gives Flair a suplex back in the ring instead. Taker then chokes Flair and Piper at the same time, as Virgil runs down at #23. He goes right after IRS. Flair suffers through another near-elimination spot with the Undertaker. Col. Mustafa enters in at #24. You know, the Iron Sheik. More punching and kicking follows. Rick Martel held the record of the longest time spent in a Rumble match at 52:17, and he's our #25 guy. Flair goes right after Martel. Instead of trying to eliminate somebody, Duggan starts up the USA chants. Uh oh, Hulk Hogan is our next entrant at #26. He goes after Taker and finally the guy sells something. Hogan clotheslines him out, backdrops out Bezerker, and then takes time to rip off the t-shirt. Meanwhile, Virgil charges at Duggan and they both fly out to the floor. Flair chops on Hulk, but that doesn't affect him whatsoever. He tries to eliminate Flair , but IRS saves him at the last second. Skinner is #27. He goes from being a pretty boy Fabulous One to a gator man. Only in showbiz, folks! During Flair's last minute before breaking the time spent in a Rumble match record, he and Martel try to get Piper out of the ring. Once that fails, Flair goes back after Hogan and then takes a clothesline. #28 is Sgt. Slaughter. He's back to being a face again, but it's hard to bounce back after saying you love hanging out with Saddam Hussein. Martel dumps Skinner out. Hogan and Piper exchange eyerakes. Then, Piper slams Martel's head into Hogan. What was that all about? Hogan and Flair square off once again, as Sid Justice runs down at #29. Sid goes after Flair, but gets nailed from behind by Slaughter. #30 is Warlord. Hogan and Flair go under the bottom rope to fight on the floor. Flair wants a suplex, but Hogan reverses for one of his own. In the ring, Sid tosses Slaughter into the corner for his head-first bump to the ringpost, which sends him sailing out to the floor. Back in, Hogan hits the Big Boot on Flair. IRS tosses Piper out to the apron, but then gets pulled out over the top rope to the floor by his tie. That darn tie cost him the WWF title! Should've wore a clip-on. Hulk and Sid work together long enough to throw Warlord out. While Piper and Martel try to eliminate one another, Sid dumps them both out from behind. That brings us to the final four.

We're down to Hogan, Flair, Savage and Sid. Flair gouges Hogan in the eyes to get away from him so he can help Sid throw Savage out to the floor. Hogan then punches Flair out to the apron and tries to kick Flair to the floor, but then Sid comes along and flips Hogan over the top rope to the floor. The crowd goes crazy! Sid and Hogan get into an argument. Then Hogan acts like a jerk and tries to pull Sid over the top rope himself. That is, until Flair comes along and dumps Sid out over the top rope to the floor to win the Royal Rumble AND the WWF world title belt. (62:02) Flair's record stands at 59:26. Sadly, the record was eclipsed the next year by Bob Backlund who remained in the Rumble match for 61:10. Another sad note is that Flair couldn't even really celebrate the win in the ring, because he had to make room for the Hogan/Sid confrontation. When you try and judge a match like this, you have to look at the whole picture. You can't divide it up and say that certain parts were better than others. In my honest opinion, you have to pay attention to the entire story being told, and that goes back to the start of Flair's WWF tenure in August with him gloating about being the real world's champion and making everyone hate him for that. When he finally got his opportunity to shine and show the world that what he was talking about wasn't just him talking a big talk. He was for REAL. Some people give this the full monty for the star power and the great booking throughout. All those things I agree with, but the Ric Flair story to me is what makes this so great and so important to wrestling history at the time because not only had this guy been to the top of the mountain for ten years in the NWA, but now he was the king of the rival WWF. *****

And then, the famous Ric Flair post-match interview: Heenan and Perfect are right there to celebrate with THE man. Flair - "I'm going to tell you all with a tear in my eye, this is the greatest moment of my life." WOO!

Final Thoughts: The only reason to buy this show is for the undercard because the Rumble match is on the Flair DVD (if you haven't bought that by now, I don't know what to tell you), and the IC title match is on the Piper DVD (another excellent DVD set). I'll go with thumbs in the middle because you've got Owen Hart and if you don't have the Flair DVD for whatever reason, then you've got the classic Rumble match. Yeah, thumbs in the middle for Royal Rumble '92.

It's the 5^th Annual Survivor Series!

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan.

We kick things off IMMEDIATELY with Monsoon talking about Randy Savage being attacked by Jake Roberts and his COBRA on the Sunday before the event! Poor Randy! Also, WWF "Prez" Jack Tunney, if that is his REAL name…makes an announcement straight off the teleprompter that says he takes full responsibility for Roberts' actions. Therefore, all king cobras and reptiles are barred from ringside. This should've always been a rule, but I guess WWF thought it was a given. This of course as we ALL know, leads to Savage vs. Roberts at Tuesday in Texas. Can we get on with the show now, please? Thank you.

• Ted DiBiase, The Mountie, Warlord and Ric Flair vs. Bret Hart, Virgil, Davey Boy Smith and Roddy Piper - 4-on-4 Survivor Series Elimination Match

We've got four feuds, three (but not really!) champions, and two losers in one match. DiBiase/Virgil, Mountie/Hart, Warlord/Bulldog, and Flair/Piper. Three champions in Bret Hart, the IC Champ; DiBiase, the Million Dollar Champ; and Ric Flair, the REAL World's Champ (but not really!) The two losers of course are Warlord and Virgil. And yes, this is one match. Just saying. Anyways, I'm excited for this one. DiBiase and Piper start it off, even though Piper wants Flair. DiBiase suckers Piper around so that Flair can come in and kick Piper in the butt! HAHA! Piper gets pounded but comes back with a clothesline and an atomic drop on the TOP ROPE! Man, what a HOT crowd! Heenan cries for a DQ, but Joey Marella doesn't care. Sherri gets literally dragged into the ring, but her and Ted's plan backfires and she ends up swapping spit involuntarily with Piper. She rolls out of the ring in DISGUST! I don't blame you, sister. She gets sent back to the dressing room. The faces keep DiBiase in their corner and trade tags while working on his arm. I mean, they TEAR it up! Bret gets in there and makes the first mistake. DiBiase loudly makes a spot call, "Reverse, charge" out of the corner where Bret goes knee first into the turnbuckle. Bret kicks out of a spinning toe hold and gets a few near-falls out of a little rollup sequence. Bret then goes back to the arm. DiBiase fights up and tags in Flair. WOO! On his first move on WWF PPV, he misses an elbow drop. Bret nails an inverted atomic drop and tags in Bulldog. Bulldog delivers a catapult into the corner and the Flair flop is inevitable. Davey gets a press slam and then tags in Piper. RUH ROH! Piper wails and chops away on Flair until he exits the ring and flops down on the floor. Piper follows suit and Flair meets the steel steps headfirst. Back in, Flair rolls right into his corner, where he tags in Warlord. If you don't know who he is, think of a bald Gene Snitsky. Piper acts like he wants a test of strength, but of course he doesn't and tags in Bulldog. Warlord expects a bunch of shoulderblocks, so Bulldog pulls out a dropkick instead. Bulldog's momentum gets stopped short by a boot out of the corner. Mountie, or Jacques Rougeau, gets tagged in. We go to the back and see Jimmy Hart watching on the monitor, so we totally miss how Bulldog gets across the ring to tag in Bret. Mountie freaks out and runs out of the ring, and then scoots in and tags in DiBiase. What a Canadian pussy. DiBiase and Bret lock up with Bret having full advantage over Ted. A backbreaker from Bret sets up an elbow drop for a near-fall. Double-KO! Who's gonna tag first?! DiBiase does! He tags in Mountie, and Bret tags in Bulldog. Bulldog destroys him from one side of the ring to the other. Flair comes in and works over Bulldog in the corner to no effect. He begs off and then kicks Bulldog in the gut in normal Flair fashion. He calls in DiBiase, but they both get clotheslined. No tag was ever made for Flair to come in. Bulldog nails Warlord and gets the RUNNING POWERSLAM on Mountie! Bulldog covers, but everybody gets in so the ref can't make the count. Meanwhile, Flair comes off the top and nails Bulldog in the back of the head. He covers Bulldog for the three-count at 10:56. Piper comes in to replace Bulldog, but gets suckered right into the heel corner. Flair tags in DiBiase, but Piper fights back anyway on the WHOLE team! That could only last for so long as Mountie yanks Piper out to the floor and pounds on him. Back in, Flair chops on Piper, followed by the rolling knee drop. Flair tries a second knee drop, but misses. Piper uses that as an opening for the figure-four, and he locks it on! Shortly after, DiBiase breaks it up. It's kind of useless to do a submission finishing move in a match like this, unless it gets down to 1-on-1. Flair tags in DiBiase. Ted gives Piper a shin breaker and then applies the spinning toe hold once again. Piper counters with a roll up for a two count. DiBiase tags in Mountie and pulls Piper back to their corner. Mountie locks in a Boston crab. Piper escapes by being so close to the face corner, he just tags in Virgil. Mountie gets clotheslined and wants to tag out, but nobody wants in! Well, now they do. Flair tags in and just as it looks like Virgil has made a mistake; he comes back with punches and a backdrop. Flair begs off and tags in DiBiase. He sends Ted's head to the buckle about ten times, but then falls victim to a powerslam. DiBiase tags in Warlord and he comes in and dumps Virgil for Flair to chop on him and send him head-first to the steel steps. Bret comes over and helps Virgil back into the ring. Warlord locks in the FULL-NELSON, but Bret comes off the top with a forearm to the back to break the hold. Piper covers Warlord and pins him at 17:00. Piper wasn't legal there either! As Gorilla says, "Turnabouts fair play!" That was some pretty good booking continuity there. Piper then surprises DiBiase with a rollup for a two count. Piper blocks a suplex and hits one of his own. Tag to Virgil, and he tries to put DiBiase away with his own hold, the MILLION DOLLAR DREAM! But DiBiase isn't having that, so he drives Virgil head-first into the top turnbuckle. Tag to Flair and he works Virgil over in the corner. He follows that up with a back suplex and then tags in Mountie. Mountie hits a nice dropkick and then tags DiBiase back in. He hits a gutwrench suplex and then tags in Flair. He covers Virgil with his feet on the ropes for a two count. In comes DiBiase and he levels Virgil with a clothesline. However, Virgil comes back with a spinning neckbreaker and tags in Piper. Flair gets tagged in as well and his offense has no effect on Piper whatsoever. Piper backs Flair into the corner and tries a ten-count punch, but Flair comes out with an inverted atomic drop. Flair doesn't get it how he intended and gets poked in the eyes. Now it's a pier-six brawl and everybody is in there wailing on each other. Flair flips out of the corner and out onto the floor, and that's when the ref disqualifies everybody who was in the ring. That leaves Flair as the soul survivor who was OUTSIDE the ring when the ref made the call! Flair's team wins! (22:48) Survivor: Ric Flair. If only this had had a great finish, it would be an easy **** ½. But since the finish was pretty lame, let's give it *** ½.

Mean Gene interviews Randy Savage. We see stills from the snake biting his arm. Mean Gene ~ "That had to be horrifying!" Savage ~ "Well it was." The venom from the cobra hurt him really bad and yada yada yada, he can't wait to beat up Jake Roberts at Tuesday in Texas. Okerlund asks Savage what Elizabeth thinks about all this, so she comes out and tells everybody thanks for the support. She says she'll be in TEXAS! OH SNAP! Next match, please.

• Col. Mustafa, The Bezerker, Skinner and Hercules vs. Texas Tornado, Tito Santana, Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Sgt. Slaughter - 4-on-4 Survivor Series Elimination Match
  

I never did hear a bell. This makes no sense considering Slaughter was a heel three months ago and is already being built as a great American hero again. It would've been better if they just killed him off for a while. Skinner fights off a headlock, but gets DECKED by a FLYING JALAPENO and rolls out to the floor. Slaughter rolls him back in. Tito tries a second FLYING JALAPENO, but Skinner ducks out of the way. Skinner just looks too disgusting to wrestle with. Tag to Bezerker, and he misses something off the second turnbuckle. He looked like he slipped while skiing down a mountain. Tito tags in Von Erich, and Bezerker misses a dropkick. Von Erich gets trapped in the heel corner, and Hercules gets tagged in. Von Erich gets free and tags in Duggan. HOOOOOOOO! Herc tries a shoulderblock, but Duggan stands firm. Duggan comes back with wild punches, and then goes after everyone on the heel side. Herc comes up behind him and then they all go to work on him. In comes Bezerker, and he lays in some more lame offense. Mustafa tags in and goes a headlock. Since this match SUCKS, I would rather listen to some good ol' commentary. While Heenan is annoying the crap out of Gorilla, Gorilla says, "Can you (I'm guessing some stage guy. Surely he doesn't mean us out here in PPV land.) get some security guards, please?" Heenan ~"What, are you gonna have another hotdog?" HAHAHA, what a great zinger. Duggan fights up, but goes right back down to a double throat-thrust for a near-fall. Duggan comes back, but Mustafa loads up his boot, and kicks Duggan in the gut for a two count. Duggan pulls off a REALLY bad suplex and makes the tag to Slaughter. Slaughter gives Mustafa the universal "UP YOURS" sign and then hits a clothesline to pin him at 7:57. It would be nice for this situation if that would've ended things, but it keeps going. Here comes Bezerker with some more offensively dull offense. Slaughter comes back and tags in Duggan. Bezerker gets clotheslined out of the ring, and then backdropped out to the floor! He comes back in, and Duggan makes the quick tag to Von Erich. He gets backed into the heel corner, and Herc tags in. Surprise tag to Tito and we've got a FLYING JALAPENO for the second pin at 12:05. It's now 4-on-2. Skinner comes in and chokes on Tito. Tito makes a blind tag to Slaughter and he comes in and sneaks up behind Skinner for a rollup and another pin at 13:31. OMG, IT'S BEZERKER VS. THE WORLD! Gorilla ~ "I'd love to take your money!" Tag to Duggan and he hits the FIVE-POINT STANCE for the win. (14:19) Survivors: Team Duggan. Oh MAN, that was horrible. CRAP

Mean Gene interviews Jake Roberts for his response. He reiterates that what happened with the snake was an accident and that the snake had been de-venomized by the lab people. Okerlund says he should be fired, and that Jake should be grateful for Tunney and the fans who voted him to be reinstated him. Roberts says to not point the finger at him, but those who wanted him back. His response to the "NO MORE REPTILES AT RINGSIDE" rule was simply, he was the snake you should've been worried about all along. Oh yeah, and Tuesday in Texas is the end of the beginning. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

• WWF Champion Hulk Hogan vs. Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer)

Monsoon mentions Taker is undefeated at this point, but I somehow don't believe that's true whatsoever. They lock up after thirty seconds of stalling and Taker shoves Hogan into the corner, but Hogan avoids a charge. More circling until Hogan slaps on a headlock. Taker gets out and takes Hogan down with a shoulderblock and he bails to cheers from the crowd. Hogan stalls on the outside for awhile before re-entering the ring. "HOGAN!" chants from the women and children. Taker GOOZLES him into the corner, followed by some creepy heavy breathing and eye rolling. Taker continues with the choking and face pulling all around the ring for a bit. Taker hits a slam, but misses an elbow. Hogan comes back and tries a slam, but he couldn't slam Taker. Heenan ~ "HULKAMANIA IS DEAD, MONSOON!" Since Hogan couldn't slam him, he resorts to eye-gouging and kicks below the belt. Taker won't sell any of Hogan's stuff. Taker gets clotheslined out to the floor, but he lands on his feet like always. He yanks Hogan out to the floor, where Hogan meets the steel steps and then gets choked out with a cable. Back in, we get more choking and then a face claw that lasted 2 ½ minutes! Just as it looks Hogan is going to make his come back, Taker nails him with a flying clothesline to more cheers than boos. Hogan no-sells the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER, and then hulks up. Hogan punches him until Taker finally falls to one knee. Hogan gets the silly body slam he couldn't get before and here comes the NATCHA BOY, RIC FLAIR! Hogan tries the leg drop, but Bearer grabs his ankle as he comes off the ropes. Hogan sees Flair at ringside, and comes down and pops him. Hogan comes back in the ring and hits the big boot, but once again Bearer is there to grab a hold of his ankle to prevent the leg drop. While Hebner is busy trying to keep Bearer out of the ring, Flair gently sets a STEEL CHAIR into the ring where Taker delivers a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER. Flair pulls the chair out of the ring, and Taker pins Hulk to win his first championship to a HUGE face pop. (12:45) Any match that consists of 2 ½ minutes of a rest hold gets a CRAP rating from me. Taker really didn't become that good of a worker until around 1996. It was his character that made the man a millionaire anyway.

We now go to Mean Gene freaking out in the back about Hogan's condition after what just went down. Roddy Piper comes over for a word and calls Taker an "Addams Family reject." By the way, since when did Piper ever care so much about Hogan's well-being?

Now we have Sean Mooney in the "locker room" with Flair and Hennig. The WWF Hogan/Flair feud could've been SO awesome had blown-off at WrestleMania. I think I liked Flair coming after Hogan in WWF more so than Hogan coming after Flair in WCW. FLAIR'S THE REAL WORLD'S CHAMPION! WOOO!

In comes a half-ton of fat in EARTHQUAKE, TYPHOON, IRS and JIMMY HART for an interview with Gene. Earthquake just talks about after-shocks on LOD, Hart talks about Tunney's injustice to their team by suspending Roberts and IRS wants to make sure Bossman pays. Typhoon says if there had 150 opponents and only 3 of us, they'd still outweigh them all or something along those lines.

If we have more interview after this one, I swear. Mooney stands by with LOD and Bossman. Animal says he's cool with Tunney's decision. Bossman says the Disasters and IRS are going to serve hard time. Didn't see that coming, did ya? Hawk talks about turning the Disasters and IRS into nasty sweat socks. Mooney interrupts Hawk's "OOOOOOOOOOO WHAT A RUSH!"

OH MY GOSH! GENE IS WITH TUNNEY NOW! Gene wants to know what he's going to do about the WWF title match. Tunney announces a rematch for Tuesday in Texas. Tunney will be at ringside to ensure a boring time for all. NEXT MATCH, PLEASE.

• Beverly Brothers and Nasty Boys vs. Bushwhackers and Rockers - 4-on-4 Survivor Series Elimination Match

The Beverly Brothers consisted of Beau and Blake, formerly known as Wayne Bloom and Mike Enos. They wrestled in the AWA until it folded in 1990 together and won their tag-team titles. Then they went to the NWA and wrestled under masks and managed by Ole Anderson. They were called the Minnesota Wrecking Team and jobbed for the Steiners before leaving for McMahonland where they were WWF's answer to the Midnight Express. That brings us to where we are right now. The Bushwhackers kick things off taking turns beating on the Nastys AND the Beverlys with their usual ridiculous offense, then the Rockers come in and hit stereo dropkicks on the Nastys. Now we get down to business as Blake pairs up with Michaels. Blake misses a charge, but comes back with an inverted atomic drop and a backbreaker. He tags in Knobbs, and Michaels tags in Luke. Now Knobbs misses a charge, but instead of Luke following up, he poses like an idiot and gets nailed with a middle-rope clothesline to be the first elimination at 5:21. Michaels comes in for Luke and Sags tags in. Sags delivers some bland offense, so Monsoon and Heenan decide to shill Tuesday in Texas instead. Sags misses a charge in the corner, so Michaels hits a top-rope crossbody for two. Jannetty tags in and works the arm. Sags takes Jannetty into his corner and tags in Beau. Jannetty flips out of a backdrop and lands a superkick for two. Jannetty tries a headlock on several occasions, but Beau is out on every one of them. Beau hits a gutwrench suplex for two. They do a double-knockdown situation. Beau tags in Blake and Jannetty tags in Butch. Was that a hot tag? No, it was hardly even lukewarm. The Beverly brothers bump around for Butch, but it's 2-on-1 and Butch goes down to what appears a double-team face slam to eliminate Butch at 10:41. It's down to the Rockers vs. Nasty Boys and Beverly Brothers. Jannetty comes in and works on Beau with some pretty good moves for '91. He gets a real smooth headscissors for a two-count. Jannetty nails an enziquri that sends Beau into his corner to tag in Blake. Michaels tags in and works the arm. Blake fights back and the result is cheating from the heels by choking Michaels in the ropes. The Beverly brothers double-team Michaels with a leapfrog-backbreaker move we saw Benjamin/Haas use in 2003. The Nasty Boys continue with the cheating out on the floor. Back in the ring, Beau delivers some more pretty boring offense. Nothing happens worth noting until Michaels gets a backslide and pins Beau at 13:54. The heels exchanges tags in and out, not really doing anything. Michaels tries to come back a few times, but it goes nowhere until Michaels nails Sags with a clothesline from the apron down onto the floor! Knobbs comes over and eats a superkick! Back in, Michaels comes off the top onto Sags, but gets jabbed in the gut on the way down. Blake tags in and makes a mistake by ducking too soon off a whip and Michaels kicks him in the teeth and makes the hot tag to Jannetty. Jannetty goes crazy on everybody, including a running back elbow on Knobbs for a near-fall. Blake comes back in and takes a few surprise rollups from Jannetty. The Nastys tag in and out and go to work on Jannetty. Sags hits a nice pumphandle slam. He does it better than BG James simply because he doesn't hump the guy before he lifts him up. Knobbs comes in and comes off the middle rope, but he hits knees and that allows Michaels to get tagged in. The Rockers double-team the heel trio until Sags' foot catches Michaels in the face as Jannetty was going to slam him. Knobbs seizes the moment and pins Michaels at 19:42. KNOBBS PINS HBK! Michaels' pitches a fit to Jannetty, so when Jannetty asks for forgiveness, Michaels tells him to "Go get them!" Knobbs nails Jannetty from behind. However, he misses a charge and Jannetty face-plants him for a near-fall. Sags comes in without a tag and tosses Jannetty out to the floor. Back in, Blake hits a powerslam, but arrogantly lifts Jannetty up at two. In comes Knobbs and he grabs an arm wringer, but Jannetty flips out and pulls Knobbs out to the floor. He sends Knobbs into the steel ringpost, and then delivers a superkick to Sags. Jannetty goes up top with both Sags and Knobbs on the floor and hits a plancha on both of them! Back in, Jannetty swinging face-plants Blake. The Nastys are back in, and Sags gets rolled up. Knobbs is right there though and he reverses the small package in Sags' favor for the pin to win the match. (23:06) They should've at least let Jannetty eliminate one of the Nastys before ending this. If it wasn't for the Rockers stuff, this would've gotten a total CRAP from me, but what they did was somewhat decent. Survivors: Blake Beverly, Brian Knobbs and Jerry Sags. *

• Natural Disasters and IRS vs. LOD and Big Bossman - 3-on-3 Survivor Series Elimination Match

This was supposed to be Jake Roberts joining IRS and the Disasters vs. LOD, Big Bossman and Sid Justice. But of course, as it turned out, Roberts got "suspended" so to keep it fair, we're left with this. I've seen this show I believe four times in the last six or seven years, and I still don't really remember anything about this match. LOD are tag champs and the fat disasters want their belts. Bossman hates IRS because, well I don't really remember why. They stall for a good long minute after the bell until IRS and Bossman finally lock up. IRS avoids some of Bossman's offense to start, but a hard running bump in the corner. Bossman runs around like some crazy Detroit crackhead hobo. IRS tags out to Earthquake and he wants Animal, so here he comes. They do a shoulderblock stand-off, so Animal tries a running crossbody instead and gets caught into a backbreaker. Earthquake misses a splash, and gets nailed with a dropkick and a shoulderblock for two. IRS tags back in and he gets taken into the face corner. Hawk tags in and he works the arm, but IRS gets in the ropes. Blind tag to Typhoon, and IRS gets pressed by Hawk onto Typhoon, but he catches him. Hawk doesn't sweat it and nails a dropkick. Typhoon falls back into the face corner and gets pounded on by Bossman and Animal. HEY, THAT'S CHEATING! Typhoon gets out of there and just walks over to Earthquake. Hawk didn't even try to stop him. Nothing worth noting during that exchange, so IRS tags back in. He gets dropped with a back suplex and a fist drop. Bossman tags in and he nails the Bossman straddle. Earthquake distracts the ref by getting into it with LOD out on the floor. Meanwhile, Typhoon slides in IRS's briefcase to him and then he nails Bossman with it to eliminate him at 6:24. "LOD" chants start up. The Disasters double-team Animal in the corner. Earthquake delivers a belly-to-belly throw on Animal for a near-fall. The heels continue the breakdown of LOD until Typhoon eats a boot off a charge into the corner. Animal makes the hot tag to Hawk and after some heel miscommunication; Typhoon gets KO'ed with the brief case and gets pinned at 9:39. For you slow ones out there, we're down to LOD vs. Earthquake & IRS. Earthquake is pissed at IRS for nailing Typhoon, but what can you do. Earthquake quits the match and leaves with Typhoon to go to the back to be counted out at around the 11-minute mark. It looks to be murder time for Irwin. IRS actually avoids a charge and Hawk goes shoulder-first into the steel ringpost. IRS tosses Hawk out to the floor, where he meets the steel steps. They brawl for a little while longer out on the floor before re-entering the ring. IRS stays in control, but goes to a chinlock to get the crowd to cheer for Hawk. Hawk fights up, but they then screw up a double-knockdown. Hawk reverses a suplex into one of his own and then tags in Animal. Animal delivers some of his usual offense until Hawk comes in for a double-clothesline. IRS decides to F this and exit stage right. Bossman shows back up and makes sure IRS serves his hard time! Back in, Hawk hits a top-rope clothesline for the pin. (15:22) Why no Doomsday Device? Nevertheless, this was pretty bad. Survivors: LOD. ½*

Final Thoughts: Thank God for that first match. Otherwise, this would've been WORST PPV EVER. They put all their best workers in the first match, so it could only go down from there. For historical reasons, however, it was the first Survivor Series PPV with a WWF Title match, and it resulted in a title change to a new star. Was it a monumental change? No, but were any of Taker's WWF or WWE title wins? Let's just say this; if you're a fan of the workers of the first match, this is for you. Other than that, if you want to see Taker win his first title, get the Tombstone DVD. Don't bother with this.

The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Hulk Hogan (3/24/1991)
Intercontinental Champion: Mr. Perfect (11/19/1990)
World Tag Team Champions: The Nasty Boys (3/24/1991)

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper & Bobby Heenan.

• Ricky Steamboat, Kerry Von Erich & Davey Boy Smith vs. The Warlord & Power & Glory (w/Slick)
  

This has got to be Vince's way of punishing Steamboat for leaving for a few weeks after he won the IC belt in '87. Steamboat goes from being a classy NWA world champion two years earlier, to opening up a PPV with a ring full of steroid freaks. Steamboat carries Power & Glory to an armdrag fest. Von Erich punches on Hercules a whole bunch and tags in Davey Boy. Bulldog and Warlord have a "we meet again" moment. Bulldog levels him with a clothesline and nails the Hourglass Suplex for two. Steamboat tags back in and gets overpowered to become face-in-peril. Not overglorified though, just overpowered. Herc shuts down a comeback with a hotshot, but then Warlord eats a boot as he jumps down on Steamboat from the middle-rope. HOT TAG TO VON ERICH! He goes PUNCH-CRAZY on everybody and blind-tags Bulldog. Davey Boy leaps on Warlord, but gets caught, so Von Erich puts Warlord down with the TORNADO PUNCH! That gets 1-2-NO! Davey Boy gives Roma the RUNNING POWERSLAM and messes up the set-up to the finish a wee bit, but I think it's pretty forgivable. DBS cuts off Warlord as Steamboat hits Roma with the FLYING BODYPRESS for 1-2-3. (10:43) MSG erupts! Decent, but still nothing too special about it. **¼

• WWF Intercontinental Champion Mr. Perfect (w/The Coach) vs. Bret Hart
  

The Coach is in no way related to Jonathan Coachman whatsoever. This coach is Canadian and well, white. John Tolos had been wrestling since the '50s, but took over Heenan's spot as a manager once Heenan went strictly into a broadcaster's role. Coach is just a guy in sweats with a whistle and a clipboard. They lock up and immediately Perfect is bouncing out of the ring as only he can do. Back in, Bret delivers a crucifix for 1-2-NO! Then Bret goes to a headlock and both guys trade some hair pulling. Meanwhile, Heenan makes some funny jokes about Piper's parents. Classic. Perfect buries a knee to escape, but Bret bounces off the ropes with a crossbody for two. The momentum from the kick-out puts Bret on the floor, but he comes back in with a sunset flip for 1-2-NO! Perfect gets out of another headlock with a cheapshot. Bret does that spot where he teases the Sharpshooter and instead just stomps Perfect in the stomach. They trade slams and then Hart clotheslines Perfect out to the Coach. The champ decides to leave and fight another day, so Bret brings Perfect back in and rips his singlet in the process. Perfect cowers away, but cheapshots Bret again and kicks him out to the floor. When Bret tries to get back in the ring, Perfect shoves him off into a cameraman who gets squashed up against the guardrail. Bret finally gets back in and rolls Perfect up for 1-2-NO! Perfect punches back and whips Bret from corner-to-corner for two. Perfect hits the Running Neck Snap and a jackknife cover gets 1-2-NO! Dropkick puts Bret back on the floor. Perfect follows him out and punches him away before he heads up top. Bret gets up on the apron and stops Perfect from coming down. They brawl on the middle rope until Bret falls to the mat for 1-2-NO! Perfect slings Bret across the ring by his hair and then hooks on the sleeper. Bret collapses, but his arm only falls twice! He elbows out and tries another crucifix, but Perfect remembered what happened last time and drops back on Bret. Cover, 1-2-NO! Perfect whips Bret in for the chest-first corner bump for 1-2-NO! It's PERFECT-PLEX time! That gets 1-2-NO!! Perfect nearly decks Hebner for not counting to three. Here comes Bret with the comeback. He hits a pair of atomic drops and then slings Perfect by his hair straight into the ringpost. Suplex gets two. Small package gets two. Russian Legsweep gets two. Backbreaker/flying vertical elbow drop gets two. The crowd can't believe it. While Bret is arguing with Hebner, Perfect rolls Bret up for 1-2-NO! The momentum from the kick-out puts Perfect on the floor, so Bret follows him out and sends him into the ringpost. Back in, Bret kicks Perfect's leg out from under him as they walk halfway around the ring. Bret goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but the Coach is up on the apron. Bret nails him, but gets low-blowed by Perfect. He then stomps Bret in the balls and nearly gets DQ'ed. Perfect starts giving Bret legdrops to the groin and does one too many, as Bret catches his foot and maneuvers Perfect over into the SHARPSHOOTER! (18:04) Fantastic match. While Shawn Michaels is the most consistently great performer at WrestleMania, Bret Hart is the most consistently great performer at SummerSlam, and it's matches like this one that prove that fact. As for Perfect, he wouldn't wrestle again until Survivor Series in 1992 due to all the back problems he was suffering through. ****¼

• The Bushwhackers (w/Andre the Giant) vs. The Natural Disasters (w/Jimmy Hart)
  

Poor Andre makes his final PPV appearance on crutches after having his knee clipped by the big huge colossal Earthquake. Pretty much the standard Bushwhackers comedy match. They bite you and prance around the ring like idiots. The 'Whackers use Quake's head as the BATTERING RAM to take out Typhoon. Quake nails Luke from behind, but misses an elbow drop. Butch reaches for a tag, but Quake pulls Luke back and drops that elbow. Typhoon tags and applies a Canadian Backbreaker on Luke, then hands him over to Quake for a bearhug. Meanwhile, Heenan hears that Hulk Hogan is in his dressing room, so he's going to go talk to him. Luke bites out and heel miscommunication causes a hot tag to Butch. The 'Whackers deliver the BATTERING RAM to both Disasters, and Typhoon gets school-boyed for 1-2-NO! Luke goes after Quake on the floor and takes a backbreaker. That leaves Butch all alone with the Disasters. EARTHQUAKE SPLASH gets 1-2-3. (6:27) After the match, the Disasters go after the near-crippled Andre, but LOD make the save. ¾*

We go to the back where Heenan is standing at Hulk's door with the Big Gold belt. Apparently, Hogan (the camera doesn't show) opens the door and Heenan makes a challenge on behalf of the REAL world's champion Ric Flair. The door gets shut in Heenan's face and makes a bunch of threats. Of course, with the door closed.

• Ted DiBiase (w/Sensational Sherri) vs. Virgil – Million Dollar Title Match
  

This feud had been going on all year between these two. Virgil turned on DiBiase at the Royal Rumble, beaten DiBiase at WrestleMania by countout, and now he gets a Million Dollar title shot at SummerSlam. Roddy Piper spends the whole match rooting Virgil on during the commentary. Virgil starts off like a HOUSE OF FIRE as Heenan returns to the commentators ringside table. Of course he gets heckled by Monsoon and Piper, but if Ric Flair had been there it would've been a different story! Right then, Virgil misses a pescado and SPLATS on the concrete. DiBiase delivers his offense at a methodical pace, but then Virgil ducks a clothesline and applies the MILLION DOLLAR DREAM (cobra clutch)! Sherri panics and hops in the ring to nail Virgil with her loaded purse for an apparent DQ. But nope, the bell sounds and Hebner orders Sherri to return to the back or be suspended indefinitely. WHOA HO! She gets shooed away to the back while Virgil goes crazy with the turnbuckle smashes. Then, DiBiase reverses a whip and sends Virgil into Hebner in the corner. Oh man, that looked fatal! Hebner might never recover from that. DiBiase reverts to his slow moving offense, but it has a purpose. It's not lazy, he's just building the suspense. The crowd cringes with every suplex he delivers. You can't help but cheer Virgil on. The crowd chants for Piper to get in the ring and stop DiBiase while the ref is down, but he knows Virgil wouldn't want to win that way. DiBiase has Virgil pinned with a Piledriver, but Hebner is STILL down. DiBiase unties a turnbuckle pad and looks to smash Virgil's face into the exposed steel, but Virgil sends DiBiase face-first to the buckle instead. Virgil crawls over and covers as Hebner counts 1-2-3! (13:11) Virgil wins the Million Dollar belt, but it's not a sanctioned belt so it really doesn't matter. It's the principle of the thing though. After years of being humiliated, Virgil gets his pride back by beating his former boss. Great story told here and a wonderful chapter in the DiBiase/Virgil feud. ***¼

Elsewhere, The Mountie instructs the NYPD on how to deal with Bossman "Mountie-style" when he loses tonight. That pretty much guarantees Mountie is going to lose.

• Big Bossman vs. The Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart) – Jailhouse Match
  

The loser spends the night in the NYC jail. Bossman treats Mountie like he would some prisoner in Cobb county GA to start. Bossman Straddle connects and then he slides out and pops Mountie in the mouth. Mountie leaps off the middle-rope into a Spinebuster. Jimmy Hart gets chased around, but of course Bossman forgets all about Mountie and gets sent into the steel steps. Back in, Mountie hits the Jumping Back Elbow and whips Bossman hard into the corner. Heenan starts talking about Bossman's mom again, but Monsoon reminds him of the past. Mountie delivers some elbows and a dropkick for 1-2-NO! Bossman takes an elbow on the apron and falls to the floor as Mountie tries for the countout win. Bossman gets back in the ring just in time and tries to avoid a PILEDRIVER, but nope. Mountie drills him good. Mountie signals Jimmy Hart to get up on the apron and distract the ref while he grabs the dreaded cattle prod. He misses trying to stick him and gets punched in the mouth! BOSSMAN SLAM gets 1-2-NO! Whoa. Mountie goes for another PILEDRIVER, but Bossman stands up out of it and Alabama Slams Mountie for the 1-2-3. (9:38) Mountie's going to jail, and hilarity will ensue as we check on him throughout the rest of the evening. **

• WWF World Tag Team Champions The Nasty Boys (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. The Legion of Doom – No-DQ Match
  

Big brawl to start. Animal snaps off a freakin' powerbomb on Knobbs for 1-2-NO! Once it breaks down into a regular tag match, Sags sprays something in Hawk's face and then takes a cooler full of beers to the back! Knobbs tags in and dumps Hawk out so Sags can send him into the steel steps. The Nasties deliver the corner whip splash and then Sags hits the Flying Elbow Drop for 1-2-NO! Knobbs comes down on Hawk, but eats a boot on the way down. HOT TAG TO ANIMAL! He destroys both Nasties and a near-fall off a powerslam causes a pier-six brawl. Hawk gets dumped as Jimmy Hart tosses in the megaphone. That almost caused some heel miscommunication, but Sags stops himself before he hits Knobbs and bashes Animal instead. Cover, 1-2-NO! Meanwhile on the floor, Hawk gets the megaphone away from Jimmy Hart and nails Knobbs in the face! Sags takes a megaphone shot to the back of the head as well and then receives the DOOMSDAY DEVICE for the 1-2-3. (7:45) Hawk and Animal become the only team to ever win the AWA, NWA, and WWF tag team belts. This was a huge deal in the post-'80s wrestling world. It would be like a team having won the WWE, TNA and ROH belts in 2008. I think you get the point. It's a historical moment for the Road Warriors. *½

• Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine
  

This would be the PPV debut of the IRS character. Heenan ~ "The figure-four versus the W-4." Pretty much a sleeper match. IRS applies the rope-assisted abdominal stretch. He hits a backbreaker on Valentine, but charges knee-first into the top turnbuckle. Valentine applies the FIGURE-FOUR, but IRS makes the ropes. He tries it a second time, but IRS blocks with a small package for 1-2-3. (7:07) The MSG crowd really turned on this one. *½

• Hulk Hogan & The Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter, Gen. Adnan & Col. Mustafa – Special Ref: Sid Justice
  

This is a match made in hell. Sid is here to make sure justice is served (don't we already have a guy who does that?), but earlier in the day, Justice was found talking to Slaughter and his cronies. They offered to make him Lt. Sid Justice! That's a hard offer to refuse, I tell you what. The story there is whether or not Sid is in Slaughter's back pocket. Sid does his best to keep everybody in line, including Hogan and Warrior. Slaughter gets punched around and clotheslined for a good long while until Slaughter blindsides Hulk and makes it over to his corner. Mustafa (aka the Iron Sheik) applies the CAMEL CLUTCH, but Warrior kicks him off Hogan. Slaughter tags and goes for the flying knee drop, but Warrior shoves him off the top and Hulk makes the tag. Warrior gets double-teamed after Slaughter draws Hogan to distract Sid. Warrior comes back with a jumping clothesline and finds Hogan for a tag. After Hogan knocks Adnan and Mustafa to the floor, Warrior chases them to the back with a chair. With Sid's attention turned towards them, Hogan whips out some powder and throws it in Sarge's face to set up the LEGDROP for the 1-2-3. (12:40) What the heck kind of babyface finish is that? Match was about what you would expect. Funny how that's the last we see of the Warrior until WrestleMania. Sid and Hogan celebrate by posing in the ring. *

But that's not all. It's time for the "Match Made In Heaven" portion of the evening. It's the Randy Savage/Elizabeth fake wedding ceremony, complete with a cheesy video montage and everything. They have their little white wedding in the ring and it's pretty much standard wedding stuff. They close out the PPV with them kissing in the aisleway. Of course, the awesomeness came during the reception that aired later. Once they started opening up the wedding gifts (CANDLESTICKS, YEAH!), Elizabeth opened up this one gift that has a COBRA inside! You know, Randy and Liz could've been like, "that's SO Jake!", but instead they get all freaked out. Undertaker gives them his present, which is an urn smashed on the back of Randy's head. Things are really getting out of hand here, so Sid scares them away with a wooden chair and two new feuds are instantly born.

Final Thoughts: A much more entertaining SummerSlam than the year before. Personally, one of my favorite SummerSlams. As most anyone else who's a fan of some old school wrestling enjoy the Hart/Perfect IC title match. Then there's the DiBiase/Virgil match that anybody with a pulse can get behind. I'm also an LOD fan, so I enjoyed the tag title match. Sure, there's a crappy main event and then a bland wedding, but I still felt like the show was pretty entertaining. The Mountie rules, by the way. "You want a finger? I got a finger for ya!" Yeah, thumbs up for SummerSlam '91.

The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Hulk Hogan (3/24/1991)
Intercontinental Champion: Mr. Perfect (11/19/1990)
World Tag Team Champions: The Nasty Boys (3/24/1991)

This is the final SNME episode to air on NBC for fifteen years due to declining ratings. The remaining two episodes (2/92 and 11/92) would be picked up by Fox, which seemed to get a lot of NBC's table scrapings in the early '90s.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Randy Savage, because he's retired from all that 'rasslin!

Sgt. Slaughter interview: Savage does the interview with Slaughter and lets us know right off the bat that he still hates the Warrior. Slaughter says he's been in talks with Paul Bearer after the Undertaker beat Warrior up and put him in a coffin. During the interview, they show the clip of Hogan being blasted him in the face with a fireball on his way back to his locker room after his WrestleMania win. FIRE HOT!

Ultimate Warrior interview: Mean Gene reminds Warrior of what went down between him and the Undertaker. What does that have to do with Sgt. Slaughter? Something about destiny and the ultimate battle.

• Sgt. Slaughter (w/Gen. Adnan & Col. Mustafa) vs. Ultimate Warrior
  

Col. Mustafa is the Iron Sheik dressed up as an Iraqi colonel. For some reason, in clear view of the Warrior, Slaughter slowly climbs to the top rope only to be slammed to the mat. They go to the floor for a moment, but then Warrior brings Slaughter back in the ring. Slaughter begs off and then goes to the eyes. He dumps Warrior for some Mustafa action and then follows him out to toss him into the ringpost. Back in, Slaughter works over the back to set up the bearhug. Warrior slams out of it, but sells a back injury. They go back to the bearhug as Paul Bearer wheels out a special-made Warrior coffin to ringside. Warrior breaks free of the bearhug, but gets distracted by the coffin and gets clotheslined to the floor. Slaughter stomps away and brings Warrior back in, but then he starts to WARRIOR UP! Clotheslines abound as Bearer opens up the casket. What's inside?! It's the Undertaker! Surprise, surprise! Warrior looks to finish off Slaughter, but he's caught in the gaze of the Undertaker. Mustafa and Adnan attack for the DQ. (7:16) All four men start to beat the crap out of Warrior. Hogan runs down for the save, but Taker NO-SELLS a belt shot. Hogan says "screw that" and chases Slaughter and company back to the locker room while Warrior WARRIORS UP and shoulderblocks Taker over the top rope only to have him land on his feet. Ha, Warrior seems legitimately pissed that Taker won't sell for him. ½*

Nasty Boys interview: They're nasty. Knobs says he's going to rip the Bushwhackers' arms off and shove them up their nose. They're nasty.

Bushwhackers interview: Even Piper can hardly deal with these two and their craziness. They start grabbing up Piper's kilt and he tries his hardest not to laugh.

• WWF World Tag Team Champions The Nasty Boys (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. The Bushwhackers
  

Back and forth comedy match to start. The 'Whackers clear the ring of the Nasties and the crowd goes ballistic. They give it another go and the same thing happens. Knobs kicks Luke from the apron as he comes off the ropes and tags in for some elbows. Sags comes back in for the same stuff, but then he misses a corner charge to set up the HOT TAG TO BUTCH! He goes clothesline-crazy on the Nasties and covers Knobs, but Sags makes the save. Luke comes in to cause some double-teaming from the Nasties, but he breaks up the pin at two. Knobs picks up Butch for a slam, but Luke rams into Butch for him to fall on top for 1-2-NO! Sags saves at the last second. While the ref is busy getting Luke out of the ring, Knobs tries a Ric Flair pin with a little help from Sags and gets the three-count. (6:46) Started off lame, but it picked up at the end. *

Undertaker/Paul Bearer interview: Undertaker is coming for you, Ultimate Warrior!

• 20-Man Battle Royal
  

Boy, we haven't had one of these on SNME in a long time. The entrants are Barbarian, Big Bossman, Jim Duggan, Earthquake, Haku, Hercules, Hulk Hogan, Kato, Tanaka, Jake Roberts, Shawn Michaels, Marty Jannetty, Mr. Perfect, Paul Roma, Davey Boy Smith, Jimmy Snuka, Tugboat, Greg Valentine, Warlord and Kerry Von Erich. Earthquake's already squashed Damien and made Jake real sad, so that's one of the big meetings going down here. Everybody goes CRAZY on each other to start. Hogan and Jake double-team Earthquake a little bit here and there. Marty skins-the-cat and headscissors Roma to the floor just to show off. Before he can get back in, Roma beats him down onto the floor. Hogan pulls off some wrist tape and chokes on Earthquake with it. That's just what a good babyface would do, right? Perfect nearly gets thrown out by Hogan and Davey Boy in dramatic fashion, but Earthquake saves him. Crowd wants a DDT on Earthquake, but Jake can't deliver and gets backed into a corner. Shawn nearly gets tossed out by like SIX guys, but he still manages to fight them off. Much like Perfect at the '90 Rumble, he continues on with more great near-eliminations. Warlord sends Davey Boy out to the floor. Moments later, Haku eliminates Tanaka and Snuka. While Roberts is trying to throw out Hercules, Earthquake runs by and sledges Roberts out to the floor. Earthquake fights off Hulk and Valentine, but then turns around and sees Lucifer (Jake's new snake), which gets him all freaked out. Hogan and Tugboat get into it a bit to signal an eventual heel turn. Warlord comes by to put a stop to that, so Hogan quickly tosses him out to the floor. Kerry Von Erich jumps on Barbarian's back for a sleeper and gets dumped for it. Duggan HOOOS once too often and gets thrown out to the floor by Earthquake. Hogan grabs Earthquake though and tosses him out to the floor without much of a problem. Hogan lifts up Kato to throw him out, but then Tugboat comes by and scoops out Hogan along with him, but then Shawn Michaels runs by and knocks Tugboat out too. What? Bossman whips Hercules into the ropes and he falls out to the floor. We're down to six now. Bossman looks to clothesline Barbarian out, but Perfect dropkicks him from the back into a backdrop from Barbarian to put him away. Heel miscommunication between Perfect and Haku gets Haku dropkicked by Shawn out to the floor.

Final Four: Perfect, Shawn, Barbarian, and Valentine. Shawn goes right after Perfect while Valentine chops away on Barbarian. Perfect nearly gets thrown out, but falls on the apron and slides back in the ring. Like an idiot though, Shawn tries a Flair corner flip and gets nailed off the apron by Perfect. I mean, duh Shawn. Valentine looks to be sacrificing Barbarian over in the corner. Valentine does okay against them both, but only for a moment as the numbers game takes over. I think we all know where this is going though if you've ever seen a battle royal. More heel miscommunication gets Barbarian kicked out to the floor. Valentine wins a chopfest and atomic drops Perfect all over the ring. Valentine attempts to toss out Perfect, but Perfect slides under the bottom rope again. So Valentine tries to power him over, but Perfect pulls Valentine out with him and doesn't let both of his feet touch the floor to win the whole thing. (12:55) What a hot finish that was. It reminded me of the Angle/Guerrero finish to the Smackdown Royal Rumble from '04 that rocked the hizzouse. Sure, it was a mid-card battle royal with Hogan stuck in there, but it was good fun. ***

Ted DiBiase/Sherri interview: Ted DiBiase says he's better than Bret Hart, because he has more money.

• Ted DiBiase (w/Sensational Sherri) vs. Bret Hart

I am excited. Roddy Piper has joined Vince and Randy on commentary for this one. DiBiase starts off punching away, but Bret comes back with a hiptoss and clotheslines as he gets tossed out to the floor. Bret follows him out with a pescado and continues with punches! Back in, Bret grabs a headlock. DiBiase shoves him off into the ropes, but Sherri trips him up. She gets pulled up on the apron, but Bret avoids a running knee from DiBiase and lets Sherri take the blow. Bret rolls him up for 1-2-NO! DiBiase catches Bret coming off the ropes and drops him for a hotshot to take over. Piledriver gets 1-2-NO! Bret slips out of a slam though and goes for a rollup off the ropes, but DiBiase ducks and lets Bret fly out to the floor. DiBiase slams Bret's face into the steps to make it easy for Sherri before tossing Bret back in the ring. The heels choke the crap out of Bret for a while. DiBiase whips Bret into the corner for his chest-first bump to set up the MILLION DOLLAR DREAM, but Bret backs DiBiase into the corner for the break. DiBiase comes off the top and gets nailed on the way down. Bret wins a slugfest and hits the Russian legsweep for 1-2-NO! Backbreaker/flying vertical elbow drop follows for 1-2-NO! Sherri trips up Bret again, so he goes out after her. DiBiase nails Bret and brings him back in as Piper leaves the announcers table and heads to ringside. He starts to chase Sherri away and then pulls out a broom from underneath the ring. Piper beats her with it and chases her back to the dressing room. DiBiase goes out to the floor too and Bret follows him out for the big double-countout. (9:56) Great match with a rather silly finish. Not must-see, but still great. ***¼

• The Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Tito Santana
  

Ahh, a rematch from Wrestlemania. Just the one the world wanted to see too. Mountie talks junk to start and pays for it with atomic drops and dropkicks. Tito beats up on Mountie down on the floor and brings him back in for a monkey-flip, but Mountie puts on the brakes. He delivers some faceplants and then goes for a splash, but Santana gets the knees up. FLYING JALAPENO! Cover, 1-2-NO! Jimmy Hart hops up on the apron to break the count. Tito nails him with the FLYING JALAPENO, but doesn't notice Mountie has the cattle prod. Tito takes it in the throat while the ref is with Jimmy for the 1-2-3. (4:29) That darn cattle prod gets Tito every time. *

Another Sgt. Slaughter interview: He spits off the "you won the battle, but I'll win the war" line for the second time tonight referring to the Hulkster. Such originality.

Hulk Hogan interview: He's going to wipe out Sgt. Slaughter, brother.

Final Thoughts: Interesting if nothing else to see Undertaker's first run with the main eventers. Bret and Ted had their working boots on, which made for a good little contest. The battle royal was decent and the finish wasn't too bad. I'll go with thumbs up for this one.

The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Ultimate Warrior (4/1/1990)
Intercontinental Champion: Mr. Perfect (11/19/1990)
World Tag Team Champions: Hart Foundation (8/27/1990)

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Roddy Piper!

• The Rockers vs. The Orient Express (w/Mr. Fuji)
  

Goodbye Sato, hello Kato! Kato is the masked Paul Diamond, which reunites the former AWA tag team known as Badd Company. You know you're bad when you're SO bad, you get two D's to describe just how bad you are. In fact, Badd Company defeated the Rockers in '88 for the AWA World tag titles, which shows how far back their history went. On to the match. Jannetty gets dumped immediately, leaving Shawn alone with the Express. He takes a HIGH double-backdrop before Jannetty comes back in for the save with crescent kicks. Now Tanaka ends up alone with the Rockers and takes a double-slam. The Rockers go up top for the possible finish, but Kato pulls Tanaka out on the floor. The Express get a breather, but then the Rockers come at them with STEREO SUICIDE DIVES! We get a regular tag match now as Kato tries to calm down the "USA" chants. I know what will do it. Kick Jannetty in the balls! The crowd would HATE that and so would Jannetty! Kato tries to escape out of a headlock, but he can't seem to shake off Jannetty. He finally shoves out, but falls into a headscissors on the mat. Bridge/backslide sequence happens next and gets two for Jannetty. Tanaka distracts Jannetty long enough for Kato to nail him and tag Tanaka. Jannetty leapfrogs a charging Kato, causing the Express to collide. Jannetty grabs an armbar and then tags Shawn. Tanaka fights out of an armbar and catches Shawn with that jumping back chop for two. Tanaka hooks a chinlock. Shawn elbows out, but Kato gets a blind tag. The Express nearly collides into one another again, but Tanaka puts on the brakes and settles for a DOUBLE NOGGIN-KNOCKER thanks to Shawn instead. Tanaka elbows out of a chinlock, but then runs into a sleeper! Kato draws Jannetty in the ring so he can break up the hold. Tanaka and Shawn go back and forth wailing on each other. All four men are in now, as Shawn stops doing the ten-count corner punch on Tanaka and delivers a moonsault press on Kato! Amazing! The heels do a corner-to-corner doe-see-doe spot, but it backfires and they end up taking STEREO DROPKICKS out to the floor. Not only that, but the Rockers follow THAT up by leaping down on them from the top-rope! I believe STEREO TOPES is the appropriate description. Back in, Shawn covers Kato for two. Jannetty tags and applies a chinlock. Shawn tags and delivers a stalling suplex for 1-2-NO! Shawn whips Kato in the corner for a monkey-flip, but Kato stops that as Tanaka runs by and assists in a tide-turning hotshot. Kato messes with Jannetty, which turns the ref's attention to them while Fuji whacks Shawn in the throat with his cane! The Express hit the leapfrog/backbreaker double-team before Tanaka grabs the nerve hold. Shawn fades away, but his arm doesn't drop three times! He fades away again as Tanaka lets go and covers instead for two. Shawn looks to mount a comeback once Kato tags in, but Kato reverses a whip and sends Shawn in for the Flair corner flip. He staggers on the apron and doesn't see Tanaka come by and superkick him back into the ring. Jannetty's frustration gets Shawn in more trouble, as the Express deliver a double-clothesline as Shawn does the 360-degree sell for 1-2-NO! It comes down to the big mistake of Tanaka, as he ducks low off a whip and gets his face slammed into the mat. Or DOES IT? Kato runs in and nails Jannetty so the Express can double-clothesline Shawn with Kato's black belt, but Shawn ducks and throws himself on the belt to cause the Express to collide into each other! HOT TAG TO JANNETTY! He goes SLAM CRAZY! Powerslam to Kato gets 1-2-NO! Shawn and Tanaka go to the floor while in the ring, Jannetty and Kato fight for a backslide. Tanaka sneaks back in and kicks Jannetty down, but it only gets two for Kato. Jannetty ducks a clothesline off a whip, so Shawn trips up Kato for two. Shawn comes in illegally for a double-superkick on Kato. The Rockers go for the Rocker Launcher (!!), but Tanaka stops that and shoves Shawn off the top and to the floor. While Shawn recovers on the floor, the Express deliver a Kato catapult into a Tanaka chop. They go for it again, but Shawn gets back in and nails Tanaka in the gut. Meanwhile, Kato has no idea and catapults Jannetty over Tanaka for a sunset flip for 1-2-3! (19:14) What a match! Definitely one of the best PPV openers ever. It had so much high-flying, tag-team goodness and plenty of time to make it work extremely well. ****¼

We go to Sean Mooney who's standing by with "Macho King" Randy Savage. He says Sgt. Slaughter has already promised Savage a title match after he beats Warrior tonight, but the same cannot be said for the Warrior if he wins. So what does Savage decide to do to persuade the champ? He sends Queen Sherri to whore herself out. Sorry Sherri, but you're no Melina. Warrior says no. Actually, he says NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Savage runs in out of nowhere and goes ballistic!

• Big Bossman vs. The Barbarian (w/Bobby Heenan)
  

This is a continuation of the Bossman/Heenan feud and now it's Barbarian's turn to fight Heenan's battles. Bossman clears the ring of Barbarian to start. After a word from Heenan, Barbarian is like a new man and begins to work on Bossman's back with a backbreaker and a bearhug. Bossman's hurting, but he still manages to escape. Barbarian catches him in the throat to put Bossman down for some elbow drops. Back to the bearhug we go. Bossman's arm drops once, twice, but not three times! He headbutts out, but his back is too sore to follow up. Bossman gets in an enziguri and makes a slow cover for two. Barbarian avoids a charge though and rolls up Bossman for two. Bossman misses a back elbow, but catches Barbarian for a hotshot for 1-2-NO! Double-KO spot follows. Barbarian's up first, so he heads up top and comes down on Bossman with a FLYING CLOTHESLINE for 1-2-NO! Back up, Bossman reverses a whip and delivers a desperation BOSSMAN SLAM! Instead of covering though, he walks around and looks to the crowd. He finally covers for 1-2-NO! Barbarian pokes Bossman in the eye and hits a piledriver and heads up top again. He delivers a flying crossbody, but Bossman rolls through for 1-2-3! (10:06) Haha, Heenan just leaves. This was a WAY better match than you would expect from these two. ***

A bunch of kids surprisingly say that Warrior will beat Slaughter. What a shocker.

Sgt. Slaughter and Gen. Adnan babble on with Sean Mooney about how Warrior is going DOWN! Ultimate Warrior stands by with Mean Gene for the last time as WWF Champion of anything. He snarls and growls. You know, the usual.

• WWF World Champion Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter (w/Gen. Adnan)
  

It's Super Republican vs. The Iraqi Sympathizer! Warrior clears the ring of the mega-heels and rips apart the Iraqi flag to the biggest reaction he's received since before he won the title. Adnan doesn't even hang around ringside in fear that he might get STABBED again, so he's gone to the back. Warrior makes Slaughter eat the Iraqi flag and beats him from corner to corner. Sherri runs down to ringside and interrupts Warrior's many shoulderblocks by grabbing his foot as he tries to come off the ropes. Warrior chases her to the back only to get blindsided by Randy Savage! YES! He beats Warrior in the back with a light stand and the ref has no idea. Slaughter stops Hebner's count several times as Warrior crawls to the ring. Back in, Slaughter starts kicking him around and berating him. They clothesline each other to give you some hope for the Warrior. Slaughter grabs a bearhug. Warrior fades a little bit, but not for long as he chops out and slams Slaughter. He actually SELLS the slam as though that hurt his back. Slaughter's all over that with elbow drops and follows up with the CAMEL CLUTCH. Slaughter has Warrior under the ropes though, so Hebner makes him break after about 20 seconds or so. Slaughter thinks he's won, but NAH UH! Warrior begins to WARRIOR UP and levels Slaughter with clotheslines. Warrior looks to be going for the Guerilla Press Slam as Sherri runs down and hops up on the apron. That draws Warrior's attention away from Slaughter, as he flips her into the ring. He lifts her up for the GUERILLA PRESS SLAM! Savage makes a beeline for the ring, so Warrior tosses her out on top of Savage. Warrior poses for the crowd, but then takes a knee to the back from Slaughter to land him up against the ropes. Slaughter starts to choke Warrior for Hebner to back him away so Savage can sneak by and WHACK Warrior in the head with his royal scepter! Slaughter drags Warrior away from the ropes, drops an elbow, and gets the 1-2-3. (12:46) Monsoon and Piper are begging for a DQ, but sorry guys. We have a NEW WWF Champion! Crowd chants "bullshhh" and everything, but nothing is going to change that finish, folks. I loved the Savage stuff, which really makes the match more than Slaughter. **

There's supposed to be a Mountie/Koko B. Ware match here, but it's not shown on the Coliseum release. From what I've heard, Mountie wins using a cattle prod. Such RACISM!

In the back, Sean Mooney meets with DiBiase and Virgil. You can tell by the look on Virgil's face that he's getting tired of being DiBiase's slave. Yes, I said it.

• Dusty & Dustin Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase & Virgil
  

It's Dustin's first PPV match, Dusty's last WWF match (2006 is WWE!), and Dustin's last WWF match until he returns as a gold-colored gay man in 1995. This feud was formed at the SNME back in October when Dustin came to see his father wrestle Randy Savage and ended up taking a beating when he wouldn't give up his seat to DiBiase. I guess that makes Dustin Rhodes the Rosa Parks of SNME, except Rosa Parks was on a bus and got arrested, not beaten up until she bled on national television. I guess that makes this nothing like Rosa Parks' experience at all, does it? Anyways, the heels attack the father/son duo in opposite corners, but then we get stereo whip reversals and stereo Bionic Elbows to send DiBiase and Virgil out to the floor. DiBiase tells Virgil to get in the ring and take out Dustin. Virgil gets in a right hand, but then misses a clothesline and takes a Dustin jumping clothesline and a dropkick. DiBiase gets on Virgil's case again about sucking against Dustin Rhodes, so Virgil gives it another try. Virgil gets outsmarted again as he tries a monkey-flip off a whip, but Dustin ends up stomping Virgil in the face and sends him out to the floor again with a clothesline. DiBiase is pissed now. Virgil doesn't say anything, but has the look on his face that says, "I'm doing all I can, you dumb cracker!" DiBiase tags in and has no trouble with Dustin whatsoever until he starts talking junk to Dusty. He loses concentration and ducks low off a whip on Dustin and takes a faceslam. DiBiase gets stuck in between the two Rhodes guys and takes some elbows before the Flip Flop and Fly sends him crashing to the floor. Now Daddy gives it a try and tosses DiBiase in the ring. DiBiase begs away into the corner and gets clobbered. Dusty whips DiBiase into the ropes for a sleeper, but Virgil saves his massa. Dusty doesn't even fool with Virgil and tags his son in for a dropkick. Cover, 1-2-NO! Virgil makes a save. DiBiase tags out and gives Virgil another chance. This time doesn't look good either for Virgil until Dustin misses a charge and lands knee-first into the corner and blows out his knee. Virgil toys around with Dustin and posts Dustin's leg before tagging in DiBiase. Dusty's busy being the concerned daddy and gets the ref's attention away from the match, which allows double-teaming from the heels. With Virgil's inexperience, the miscommunication problem was inevitable. DiBiase beats him up for it and tosses him out to the floor. While he's doing that though, Dustin crawls over and makes the tag to Dusty! This doesn't last much longer though, as Dusty misses a corner charge and gets rolled up for 1-2-3. (9:58) Not the greatest action in the world, but it told a great story with Virgil's inexperience being a real problem for him. After the match, DiBiase tells the Rhodes' that they paid the price just like everybody else. That's not all though. DiBiase calls Virgil an idiot and then orders him to strap the Million Dollar belt around his waist. Virgil brings the belt in the ring and then drops it at DiBiase's feet. DiBiase brings Virgil's mother into this and everything! Virgil finally does pick up the belt. DiBiase turns away for a second to say "Everybody's got a price" and turns back around into a face-full of gold! You'd think Virgil just hit Saddam in the face with the belt with the way the crowd exploded. **½

• The Rumble
  

Bret Hart draws #1 and Dino Bravo draws #2. For some reason, Bravo's hair makes him look like the Joker from the '60s Batman series minus the lipstick. The managers are allowed at ringside this year. Also, Shane McMahon is on ref duty tonight. Bret almost dumps Bravo in the first twenty seconds with an atomic drop/clothesline combo, but Bravo hangs tough. Bravo hits the SIDE SUPLEX as the recently turned tweener Greg Valentine enters in at #3. He goes right after his former manager Jimmy Hart's guy, Dino Bravo. Jimmy distracts Valentine to take a clothesline from behind, but that's all Bravo can do against the Hammer. Bravo gets dumped with no real problem. Jimmy gets shoved off the apron by Valentine, but then Bret grabs Valentine for another atomic drop/clothesline combo. Bret tries to toss out Valentine as Paul Roma runs down to be our #4 guy. They all take turns stabbing each other in the back as Kerry Von Erich enters in at #5. TORNADO PUNCH to Roma! TORNADO PUNCH to Valentine! After some failed elimination attempts, Rick Martel draws #6. He tries to dump out Bret immediately, but then Roma comes over and starts beating down Martel! Bret and Von Erich double-team Valentine while Martel tries to eliminate Roma. When that doesn't work, Bret nearly sends Martel to the floor, but then Roma saves Martel. What?! Then, Martel and Roma do a double-team on Bret. Immediately afterwards, Roma blasts Martel with a clothesline! I don't understand this guy! "Mr. USA" Tony Atlas dressed up as some African native named Saba Simba runs down to be our #7 entrant. Von Erich attempts to eliminate Martel, but then Roma saves him. I'm giving up on Roma. He isn't making ANY sense in this match. Roma ducks a TORNADO PUNCH from Von Erich while Bret gets a near-elimination on Martel. Von Erich applies THE CLAW on Roma as Bushwhacker Butch enters in at #8. Saba Simba tries to toss out Martel, but he hangs onto Martel too long and gets flipped out to the floor as Martel falls on the apron and slips back in the ring. Bret and Von Erich attempt to toss out Martel while Butch and Valentine do the same to Roma. Butch finally gives up on that and delivers a DOUBLE-NOGGIN KNOCKER. Jake Roberts runs down at #9, which works perfectly since he's hatin' on Martel back in these days. He sets Martel up immediately for the DDT, but Martel knows what's coming and slides out underneath the bottom rope. Jake chases Martel back in the ring, but runs into a knee from Valentine. Valentine is such a JERK. Martel wanders out onto the apron to jaw at the crowd. Of course, Jake grabs him, but Martel pokes in the eyes and gets back inside to stomp on Jake. Hercules is #10. Herc and Roma, better known as Power & Glory stomp away on Butch. Martel finds himself in trouble AGAIN on the ropes, but now it's with Bret and Valentine. Martel sneaks away and attacks Roberts. He ties Jake up in the ropes, but Von Erich is there to help out.

Tito Santana enters in at #11 as Roma misses a crossbody on Roberts and flies out to the floor. Hey Roma, I bet Flair isn't jealous of your time in the Royal Rumble. ZING. Tito goes after his former Strike Force partner because dag-gummit, he's STILL pissed about WrestleMania 5. The Undertaker is #12. He's still with Brother Love, by the way. He gets in and tosses Bret Hart out. Roberts, Von Erich and Valentine decide they better gang up on this dead guy. Jimmy Snuka draws #13 as Taker dumps Butch. Tito joins in on the Taker bashing, but he's still no-selling everything. British Bulldog is our #14 entrant. Martel gets passed around for some atomic drops and nearly gets eliminated again. Demolition Smash runs down to be #15. Man, there's like ten guys in here now. WAY TOO MANY! Martel sneaks around the apron and pulls Roberts out to send him to the showers. Here comes Road Warrior Hawk! He's #16. He gets beat on by Hercules, Smash and UT and STILL doesn't sell any of it! Like an idiot, Tito decides its best to go for a ten-count corner punch on the Undertaker. Like an even bigger idiot, Taker brings Tito out of the corner and to the center of the ring for an atomic drop instead of just simply flipping him out to the floor. Shane Douglas enters in at #17. Yes, THE Shane Douglas. Meanwhile, Von Erich tries for a TORNADO PUNCH on Taker, but misses and spins out over the top rope and to the floor. Also, Hawk throws Snuka out like he ain't NOBODY! Well, that helped a little. Most everything else happening though is choking and punches. Oh yeah, and Martel nearly gets tossed out. #18 was supposed to Randy Savage, but he doesn't ever show. Nothing much else happens except for some more toss-out attempts. Road Warrior Animal enters in at #19 and beats on all the heels, but really doesn't make much of an impact until he helps out Hawk with the Undertaker. Taker fights back with DOUBLE GOOZLES, but the LOD kicks free and double-clotheslines Taker out to the floor to wake up the crowd. Then, Herc and Martel seize the moment and clothesline Hawk out to the floor. After that fiasco settles down, Martel and Santana take turns trying to eliminate one another. Demolition Crush draws #20. He helps out Smash against Davey Boy Smith. Oh by the way, Martel spends the next two minutes on the ropes fighting being eliminated.

It's that lovable, overly patriotic man that bleeds red, white AND blue. You know who's I'm talking about. His name is "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan! He's our #21 entrant! He pounds away on a few people while Martel jumps into an Animal bearhug. Davey Boy hops on Crush's back for a sleeper as the mighty Earthquake enters in at #22. There's ELEVEN guys in the ring as I am typing this. He goes after Animal first. Animal ducks a clothesline and drills Earthquake with a couple clotheslines, but then charges a third time and gets flipped out to the floor. Hacksaw wants Earthquake, so they pound on each other for a bit. Also, Martel's nearing the 40-minute mark here. The record back then was 44:47, which was held by Ted DiBiase from the '90 Rumble. The IC champ Mr. Perfect is #23. Hacksaw meets Perfect as he enters and throws him around a bit before he charges at Perfect as he's up against the ropes and gets sent out to the floor. Whoa. Shane Douglas is still in there. Oh man, it's the Hulkster! He's #24. Smash goes right after him and gets booted out. Hogan charges at Earthquake in the corner and pounds on him before trying to lift him out, but that's just not going to work. Earthquake fights back and tries to toss out Hulk, but Davey Boy saves the day. Haku drew #25 as Hogan tosses out Valentine for seemingly no reason. We get a Hogan/Martel confrontation for a moment. Perfect backs up into Earthquake, so he turns around and chops him. BIG MISTAKE! Jim Neidhart runs down to be #26. Eleven people in the ring alert! Santana finally gets thrown out by Earthquake. Perfect and Hogan take turns attempting toss each other, but Haku saves Hulk (one of Heenan's own men!) and start chopping on Perfect. Bushwhacker Luke marches down to the ring as #27, meets Earthquake, gets thrown out, and marches back to the locker room. That was the possible highlight of this Rumble so far. Nasty Boy Brian Knobs is #28. A bunch of people gang up on Knobs for some odd reason. I'm guessing because he's the most fresh. Once Knobs gets free, he backdrops Hercules out to the floor. Warlord is #29 and goes right after Davey Boy Smith, which is a WrestleMania VII match. Meanwhile, Crush is hammering on Hulk in the corner, which is dumb because he gets flipped out to the floor for a sick-looking bump. Hogan and Warlord square off for a second as Hulk clotheslines him out to the floor. Uh-oh! #30 is TOOT TOOT! The Tugboat! He goes after Earthquake. Meanwhile, Knobs dumps out Douglas. Hogan wants Earthquake, so Tugster choke-lifts Martel instead. Hogan saves Tugboat from Martel and Haku just so he can work him over in the corner. Tugboat fights back and tosses Hulk over, but he lands on the apron to save himself. Hogan follows Tuggie across the ring and turns him over the top rope to send him crashing on the floor. With friends like that, no wonder he turned heel! Meanwhile, Davey Boy crotches Perfect up on the top rope and dropkicks him out to the floor. At fifty minutes, Martel manages to dump out Neidhart. Haku charges at Davey Boy and takes a trip out to the floor. Martel works on Davey Boy, but then makes a HUGE mistake by heading up top. Davey Boy is there to meet him and clotheslines him out. Crowd goes nuts. Martel sets the new endurance record at 52:17, which would be shattered a year later.

Final Four: Davey Boy Smith, Earthquake, Hulk Hogan and Brian Knobs. Not exactly the star-studded little group there. Knobs and Earthquake dump out Davey Boy with ease because they want Hulk all to themselves. Knobs drops the elbows before Earthquake delivers the EARTHQUAKE SPLASH. BUT WAIT! Hogan completely NO-SELLS and ends all of Earthquake's credibility! Double-clothesline to the heels! Big Boot to Knobs sends him out! Three punches and a Big Boot for Earthquake only puts him down on one knee. Jimmy hops up on the apron and gets nailed. Hogan tries a slam on Earthquake, but yeah right Hulk. Earthquake falls on top and gives him a bunch of elbow drops. He delivers the Quake Slam and goes for a pin, but Hogan shoves him off and HULKS UP. Hogan points the finger, fires back with three punches, Big Boot, and then he gets the slam. Piper ~ "THROW HIM OUT!" Earthquake staggers up and takes a clothesline out to the floor to make Hulk Hogan the first man to win back-to-back Royal Rumble matches. (65:17) Basically the same finish as last year's match. This was a very disappointing Rumble match, but it's mostly due to having only a few other big name stars (Roberts, Perfect) besides Hulk Hogan. Hulk was the way to go considering if nothing else, the crowd deserved to be sent home happy now that Sgt. Slaughter was the champion. **½

Final Thoughts: Even if the undercard is pretty bad, you can usually count on a good Rumble match to give the Royal Rumble show the go-ahead, but not this year. It's completely the opposite. The undercard is worth a look, but the Rumble match was a tad on the lame side. Thumbs in the middle for Royal Rumble '91. Check out the tag match if nothing else.

The current WWF Champs were as follows:
Wor