<quote>

Escapism is mental diversion by means of entertainment or recreation, as an "escape" from the perceived unpleasant aspects of daily stress. It can also be used as a term to define the actions people take to try to help relieve feelings of depression or general sadness.

</quote>

Taken from wikipedia, the one source for somewhat reliable information.

escapism

1. An inclination to escape from routine or reality into fantasy
2. A genre of book, film etc. that one uses to indulge this tendency

I very rarely write things down and I think it’s about time

Yesterday I thought I had lost my high definition video camera

I had left the camera on the floor as I was already capturing the action from high above and I wanted a second option when editing.

The next time I’m filming with two video cameras and taking photos in between, I’ll double check that I have everything I should have. It’s okay to put your less expensive camera in more interesting and out of the ordinary places will just be sure not to leave it behind when packing up all the equipment.

Velikokrat ne morem voziti tako hitro, kot bi rada. Pot do meje neskončnega dneva oziroma polnočnega sonca je pri tem romanju na sever čedalje bolj postlana z luknjami, zaraščenimi bankinami, obdajajo jo gozdovi, iz katerih vsake toliko pritaclja severni jelen, lahkomiselno se sprehodi po sredini ceste, kot da naju ni, v najini pleh mašini na štirih majhnih nogah, potem pa naju pusti sama, da ropotava naprej. Na sever!

[googlevideo=http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8246547319312897218]

Dotik svetovno znane črte po imenu Polarni oz. Arktični krog na 66˚33'38" N je kar malce nerazburljiv, pot je bila dolga in naporna, a hkrati neskončno lepa, in vsa otopela se nabaševa pred tablo, ki bo ostanek življenja dokazovala, da sva bila tam, preden jo odrineva naprej, v Jokkmokk, pomembno shajališče švedskih Samijev.

Ne samo, da o Samijih pred tem potovanjem nisem vedela skoraj ničesar, tudi tistih nekaj podatkov iz Wikipedie mi je na poti do tja kar izpuhtelo iz glave. Na srečo pa imajo Sami v Jokkmokku svoj lasten muzej, Ájjte, ki zelo nazorno in kar podrobno pripoveduje njihovo zgodbo. Skratka, še enkrat sem bila očarana.In predvsem tudi zamišljena.

Ker pa naklonjenost dokazano gre tudi skozi želodec, naj priznam, da so me v muzejski restavraciji pridobili za vedno in to s solato. V restavraciji sicer strežejo tradicionalno, nevegetarijansko hrano Samijev (severnega jelena) in po izjavi mojega lubita tudi neverjetne tortice z jagodičevjem, a za čudake z juga naredijo tudi izvrstno solato, Grekisk sallad, eno najboljših v mojem lajfu. Čisto zares. Dvakrat preverjeno in z makovko pomazano.

Tistih nekaj dni na preljubem severu sva potem prebila s hribolazništvom v Pokrajini medvedov in orlov, risov in menda tudi losov, videla nisva nič od tega. V bistvu sva se seveda nahajala predvsem v Pokrajini komarjev, a tako hudo, kot se marsikje bere, ni bilo. Švedi pač obvladajo repelente, bolj huda je splošna lepljivost, ki nastane zaradi uporabe kreme proti gubicam (jaz) + kreme za sončenje + kreme proti komarjem. Koža pri teh posegih enkrat, dvakrat presenečeno zasopiha, potem pa resignira in pač neha dihati. Peš sva iz Kvikkjokka po Kungsleden prilezla točno do 67°00'00'' N, potem pa sva v spremstvu žejnih komarjev pobegnila nazaj v avto.

Naj izdam še, da sva bila za polnočno sonce prepozna, saj sva gor prispela konec julija. Vseeno, svetle noči človeka kar zmedejo in ob enih zjutraj sva bila zunaj in živahna in polna idej, sončni vzhod pa se je imel za zgoditi malce že pred tretjo!

Tole fotko sem na primer naredila 28. julija ob neverjetnih 23:42 h:

Po štirih sonca in narave polnih dnevih sva si končno dovolila usodno napako: odrinila sva na jug. Mar bi bila še ostala! Pot ob vzhodni obali je bila sicer veliko bolj udobna in hitra kot pa Inlandsvägen in Uppsala je zelo zanimivo mesto, a na cilju poti naju je čakal dež. In kar frdamano mrzlo je bilo. Bila sva kar malce potrta, ker sva se togo držala svojih izvornih načrtov in zapustila Laponijo tako hitro, prehitro. Mar bi bila še ostala na vročem arktičnem severu z uradnimi 25 °C na termometru in občutenimi 30° v avtu!

Ostanek dopusta sva bežala pred dežjem in deloma tudi uspešno, vendar jaz zdej o tem ne bi, da citiram mojega ljubega prfoksa fizike. Za klimatsko osveščene naj povem, da najin avto na takšnih potovanjih (70 oz. 90 kmh izven naselij, 110 kmh po avtocesti, vsaj deloma) v povprečju porabi 4,8 litra dizla na 100 km. Ja, štiri cela osem litra, nobene cifre nisem zatajila. Saj veste, da obstajajo avti brez klime? Sever pa vsekakor priporočam, I think I lost my heart THERE...

]]> http://telepathicpebble.wordpress.com/?p=78 Tue, 19 Aug 2008 23:54:13 +0000 telepathicpebble http://telepathicpebble.wordpress.com/?p=78 There were days where I felt down. I hid secrets from those that had neither eyes nor ears. Their mouth would open, and soundless words would drone from their poisonous lips. Their nose could not smell, and their hands could not feel. They were dead to me.

My only friend, my only companion as the sun shattered upon the ground, was the moon. He was delusional, fake. Only the wolves knew his tale, for that I could never understand. For it was in the dark of night that I of few, relyed on the shallow light of the moon.

With my dampened eyes, I gazed at the wolves. They traveled together, under the light of the moon. They were family. Such a sight was beautiful, unseen before. Upon my gazing crept a storm. A dangerous devil that concealed himself within a blanket of clouds. I was fooled. I felt almost, almost safe. Safe within the sanctions of night.

 How I dared to be so foolish, I'll never know. One thing for sure, was that as it came closer, ever nearer, I was asleep. Drifting in my everlasting ignorance. There was no doubt, I would sink. Drop into an inescapable pit, a void to never be seen.

My eyes slowly opened, just in time, to see the dawn of a new age. The once shattered sun, the once broken savior, was afire with glee and joy once more! There was no doubt, no ounce of suspicion that I had been saved. I had been deemed worthy to continue my venture. To set aflame those who hold greed and hate at their best!

No more would I doubt such power, such truth in the face of danger. My only loss, my only answer lost at see was how. How would I once more find deliverance, the deliverance of equity?

I hope your lives are full of all three.

more to come

 The date of the football league fixtures being announced coincided with a religion exam, so I had a gruelling half hour to wait in a stifiling hot room knowing that Aldershot's first game had been decided. Armed with only my phone I raced to log on to the BBC Sport website - about 10 minutes later the page finally loaded - and to my delight I saw the headline: "League Newcomers start with long away trips up North".

History tells us that Aldershot never start a League campaign at home, so I remain fairly unfazed in hope that we could be playing a side like Bradford or Notts County in either of their huge stadiums of Valley parade or meadow lane, where the shots would be roared onto victory. Imagine my disappointment when we ended up with Accy Stanley - typical we get some non league side a long way up north.

Despite my obvious disappointment, it was still an event to look forward to - after all it marked Aldershot's return to the football league.

On paper the journey was long, tiring and more to come.

Wow Miyazaki's the best Anime film maker I know. Haven't seen all his films but I have seen Princess Mononoke and now, Spirited Away. Both are shockingly awesome. Now, Spirited away is magnificent. The design and imagination put into this film is definitely an honorable mention. Freaky spirits running around, witches with huge heads, paper killing and chasing a Dragon, wow a lot of imagination haha^^ I would've never thought of any of Miyazaki's works, he's got a weird mind :p But that same weird mind gives him huge amounts of money by making great films. Spirited Away has a handful of odd characters. As mentioned earlier, Witches, a Dragon, cute soot things, a stinky blob monster, a giant baby, and many more.

Story: Since I'm sure most of you have seen it, I'll be a little more specific with the plot. But I won't give away all the details in case new otaku people haven't seen it yet:)

A young girl named Chihiro stumbles upon an abandoned theme park with her parents. Chihiro's parents find some delicious smelling food and start gorging on the delicacies. Chihiro wonders off and bumps into a guy named Haku. He tells her she's not supposed to be here and tells her to get away from the place because it was starting to become night time. She flees in confusion and bumps into her parents only to find that they have been turned into huge pigs. She runs away freaked out trying to get out of the theme park but the way they came in was now flooded with water. She meets Haku again and Haku tells her that she needs to get a job in the spirit world if she wants to live. He tells her to ask the boiler man, Kamaji, for a job and he then gives her detailed instructions on how to find him. She then meets Kamaji but gets turned down because he has all the workers he needs. A girl named Lin walks in to give Kamaji and his workers food but is shocked to see a human in the building. Kamaji then asked Lin to take Chihiro to Yubaba, the witch who runs the bath house, to get some work, Lin fusses but eventually gives in. Yubaba argues with Chihiro but decides to give her a job in exchange for her name. Chihiro is now under contract and whatever Yubaba says, Chihiro must do. Basically the whole plot/story is for Chihiro to find a way to save her parents and get the heck out of the spirit world. She also helps Haku remember his real name;)

Have you seen Spirited Away? What did you think of it?

"Those soot balls are the cutest things ever X3"

All in all, Spirited away is an AMAZING movie that is wondrous and spiritual. You will also get some good laughs and some "awwes" in between ^^ Chihiro's clumsiness is very entertaining lol. Spirited Away was made just right, not too childish and not to bloody and dark, it was a perfect film in my humble opinion^^

If you haven't seen it, get your butt up and go buy it or look online for it because it is super duper awesome =3

Thanks for looking^^

¦

what The Hell...

First of all, this message, as I've learned recently, can mean one of the following:

1. the connection timed out due to idle time limit
2. mysqld dumped core or otherwise aborted
3. the server or mysqld was shut down or rebooted, or network connectivity went away

First thing to do for me would be to check if the MySQL daemon is still running.
If it is, I'd try to check the my.ini file. And yes, that's where my problem was hidden.
I say hidden, as the clean MySQL Server 5.0 installation provides you with 6 predefined my.ini files, from which the very basic one is used. This was OK for me until my databases started to grow...

I tried to import a 70MB dump file (not very large, is it?) via command line and ended up with the error message above.

¦

the Solution

Solution to this was to amend my.ini file and add the following line under [mysqld] section:

max_allowed_packet = 80M

You should set this to whatever reasonable number you require for the import to finish, then restart your MySQL daemon and the error should disappear.
KISS! [Keep It Simple & Stupid] ;)

¦

for Your Reference

• to restart MySQL daemon on Windows - if the daemon is installed as service (probably in most cases), start command line and type in:

  net stop MySQL

  ... then ...

  net start MySQL

• to import an SQL dump file into MySQL via command-line, start command line and type in:

  cd C:\Program Files\MySQL\MySQL Server 5.0\bin
  mysql -h localhost -u root -p database_name < sql_file

  ... and replace:
  - the path on first line by the real path to your bin folder in MySQL installation
  - root by the username you use to connect to your MySQL
  - database_name by the database name you wanted the imported data to go to
  - sql_file by the SQL dump file name (I recommend copying over this file to the bin folder of MySQL installation, since providing full paths doesn't seem to work here)

he replied: I'd make it all end with a smile on my face and blood on my hands and I just don't care

Washington Redskins vs New York Giants Tickets
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Now the Cubs can't play today

Rain, rain go away

Tampoco es un éxito reciente como Say it isn´t so, One wild night, it´s my life, Have a nice day, Misunderstood, o Next 100 years

Pero me gusta este video. Y me apetece, simplemente

What I'd love to see would be something like an undo/redo tree. I missed that for a long time, but the idea came up again when I recently saw this image on the GIMP UI Brainstorm, by Jan Rüegg:

It shows pretty clearly what it wasn't to say. Perhaps the options in the context menu would be really difficult to implement, like moving a branch, or a "leaf", but the general idea would be worth the effort.

I know that GIMP isn't meant as a replacement to Photoshop, but as Photoshop doesn't have this function either, this would be a clear advantage over that software. I'm sure many people would switch, or at least start using GIMP.

When I asked that on IRC, it started a big discussion, luckily not about if it's useable, but rather if/how it would be doable. It would make sense as a first step, as a pre-undo-tree, to implement saving history to the XCF file, but considering where GIMP is heading, it could be considered useless. GIMP tries to become a non-destructive editor. (Although it would be still cool to see your steps one by one.)

Nevertheless, for actions like drawing, selecting, filters and so on, it would be cool to have something similar to a undo-redo-tree. Sure you can argue now, if that won't be going to be wasted development time of code what will be thrown away later, but it really depends on what GIMP wants to become. We'll probably have to wait. And hey, why not become versatile?

09.08.2008r., godz. 11:24

Postanowiłam, że na czas wyjazdu nie otworzę laptopa. Stało się jednak. Nadal otoczona drzewami słyszę jeszcze dobiegający znad jeziora szum wody i trzcin. Dziś wieje najmocniej. To co chcę opowiedzieć musi być spisane tu i teraz. Nie chcę odgrzewanych wspomnień i prób przypomnienia sobie co ja wtedy dokładnie czułam. Jestem i czuję nadal. Zatopiona w emocjach, dałam się porwać. Po raz ostatni poszłam na pomost, po raz pierwszy byłam całkowicie sama. Jakby wszyscy wiedzieli, jakby rozumieli, że potrzebuję intymnego pożegnania. Przyjemny chłód mieszał się z liźnięciami promieni, drażniąc przyjemnie skórę. Opuszki palców sunęły po poręczy czując każdą rysę i rdzawy nalot czasu. Deski uginały się miękko pod stopami. Płynęłam. Każdy fragment mojej twarzy, dekoltu i szyi został pieszczony przez wiatr przy pomocy moich własnych włosów. Pocałunek na pożegnanie. Położyłam się na plecach mrużąc oczy niezdolne wytrzymać spojrzenie ostrego słońca. Poddałam się i zamknęłam je całkowicie skupiając na zapominaniu. Tak, zapominałam. Nie potrzebuję pamiętać, co czułam w tamtej chwili, nie potrzebuję wiedzieć co czuła każda komórka mojego ciała. Wystarczy, że zapamiętam, że byłam wtedy szczęśliwa. I osiągnęłam rzecz dotychczas nieosiągalną. Spokój idealny. Zapomina się wtedy o szumie wody, wiejącym wietrze, słońcu, o sobie samej. Na te kilka minut stałam się nicością. Byłam nietykalna.

Chcę żyć dla takich chwil.

Cisza.

He's getting a little to damned comfortable in this relationship. Meaning his true form is showing. Its not like it was that much covered but shit I didn't notice before; I'm catching on to. He got one more time to whatever me and I'm going to snap. He contradicts the fuck out of himself. He ask a question then when he gets an answer he didn't/don't want to hear he says whatever like he shouldn't of asked or didn't want to know in the first damned place. I've never been angry at any of my significant others every other damned day. Like I said in my other blog, this relationship is more stress than its worth. Day after day I'm finding less and less things thats keeping me around. I'm just waiting on that last leaf to make its way to the ground. That last straw, that last drop; that last breath. I don't know if I would snap or just leave. Its come down to the point it wouldn't even be a point in me even getting angry or even saying anything when it doesn't mean squat TO him.

He in a minute is gone have his basketball friends, his best friend, his myspace friends, his CS friends and Y! friends but the girlfriend; is going to be gone. She might go back on her promise and not even be his friend. She might go back on her word and leave him. She just damned well might go back on everything she vowed not to do for the sake of her blood pressure.

Its like he think cause he has the title "boyfriend" he gets special treatments and shit. I mean yea the little shit but some shit he just makes me want to release all my anger out and clothesline the shit out of him. He don't realize I can get angry enough to toss his ass. I don't never remember much or know where the strength come from but someone usually gets hurt when I'm that angry. I hate bottling shit up, I hate repeating myself, I hate going through this shit over and over, I'm almost hate caring cause all it looks like to me is him getting a free ride. Well since he like living in filth; he like the way his home looked before I came around. Well thats how its gone be. I'm not gone pick up after him at all. I'm going to let him be on his daily scheduled routine; like I'm not around or something. I'm going to act invisible most of the time. This living arrangement is only temporary.

SOON as I get me a damn job and a damned good one I WILL be looking for me a place ASAP. & No he can't move in or come dirty up my place either. MAN it ain't even about his capabilities of cleaning or the fact his house if I wasn't there wouldn't get/be cleaned. Its the fact he takes advantage of shit.

You know, I'm very random with my blogs, I jump from one topic to another but still is understood ROYALLY. Anyway, this medicine that I'm taking; causes mood swings. But this is NO mood swing. These are bottled feelings that can't but want to escape, want to be heard, want to be seen, want to be acknowledged. But the man that is the main reason to all the madness is so blind, to the fact that he doesn't realize he's blind. He think its easy talking to him, he think its easy discussing shit to him. Everything is one sided cause he got this facade that he has all the answers. I hate that about him. He don't have all the answers. He don't know half of which he speak. When I cook, he has a problem with that. That irks the FUCK out of me when someone tell me what to do in the damned kitchen. I'm not kitchen illiterate. I know my way around. Let me move around that bitch to the best of my abilities. Don't tell me what to put in a pan. Let me do this. You wasn't in the kitchen when I started don't try to be in there when I damned there finished. When I do eat, he has a problem with that. He says I play around with my food; I've never done that a day in my life. He says I never eat. No you aren't around me every single moment. The 3-day weekend he was gone, I ate at least 50-60 times. I kept going back and back and forth to the store and to the fridge. I couldn't stop eating and I haven't taken my medicine yet. So he thinks he knows me, he thinks he knows my habits. When he only knows what he see's. Nothing that happens repeatedly, just that one time and he knows right away I do it all the time. Get that bullshit out of here Ced. We have NOT ONCE sat down and told each other our dreams, or even told where and how we grew up face to face.

Haven't even told you how I got so talented besides looking and shit and being stuck in the house when I was younger. Yea the shit I wrote you but the things you say and do to be is very obvious that you read it with your mind and eyes closed. Maybe you read it but shit you didn't remember half the shit that was said cause you didn't read it. I hate wasting my time thinking I'm going to get through that person only to be let down in the end. I give my all and that isn't enough. I knew I should of just stay with my girlfriend. We was cool man but we grew a part after high-school and shit. I would love to just turn back the tables and not even deal with the things that come with a penis. Some no MOST of y'all men of today that sit and chat with face-less people on the net day in day out is forgetting that it's going to be a day where someone is going to care and be there for you, but y'all just gone push them away cause you let that e-life rub off on you and thats all the hell you know. Half the time the e-life you're living is fake and you just so happened to start believing the shit and start acting it out in real life. Whether its calling females bitches or just not being themselves all together.

Another thing, I've talked to my ex about all the nudity on this computer I'm using; which is my boyfriends. She told me that even if she was a nigga she would have the respect to make that shit disappear. Thats disgusting and rude as fuck to even have that shit right in your face and its also a sign of cheating and worse things to come/happen. Either that person got a problem or he just don't give a damn about you and think them bitches he'll never fuck is more worthwhile than the one thats actually putting up with his bullshit and being there for him. She told me to let him keep e-fucking them face-less bitches miles and miles away. He gone look up and thats all the hell he gone have.

My ex-girl is just as real as me but unlike her when she speak people actually try to better themselves for good. Not for no damn week like my boyfriend but for life.

He is great to be around don't get me wrong there are some good qualities about him. Or I wouldn't be sticking around. I'm a sucker for love but I ain't no damn fool. Its not even about the sex; its pretty obvious I don't need it in my life. I mean I get the occasional horny-ness but who doesn't? Anyway, if it were more good qualities to out-weigh the bad qualities, I would be back in love with him but sadly, I'm out of it. I just love him. I'm not in love with him no more. That flame blew out a yr ago. Its sad its going to be 3 yrs and I know less about him than I did 2 yrs ago. People say if you fall out of love, you were never in love to begin with. People fall out of love like a chronic depressed person stops doing things they loved the most.

Also its like he hiding something. My gut is always right and my heart, every time I think about it; it starts beating fast. So yea he's hiding something and its bad but he says he not hiding anything but I'm rarely paranoid. I'm rarely not on the money. I be right on the money. & If he don't just come out with it, this relationship won't make it to this November and maybe not even that long. My heart is already telling me to throw in the towel on this relationship. Its not anything major that he's doing thats causing me to want to break up. Its the same little shit that keeps getting to me.

I know what I like in a man when it comes to a relationship. Just not with him, I don't know whats keeping me around, I don't know why I'm bothering myself with him. Not only does my heart tells me about the bad but it has a good side too. I think about down the road I guess. I guess that keeps the relationship going. Plus I can just sit and think about certain things he does or say and I just burst out laughing; damned there in tears.

Its very simple in fact; keeping me happy that is. Just make me laugh and do things with me. Its probably my last relationship, I go so much attention from that abomination. I kind of want that back. The attention my boyfriend gives me half the time isn't something I want. Usually I end up bruised and or in a choke hold from him wrestling with my ass. I guess beggars can't be choosers. I'll get the attention anyway I can I guess.

if i had a dollar for all of the times I thought I'd found the right one
i'd be a billionaire
i could probably ride out and go and buy me one
i wouldn't mind a dude
that could take my attitude
and take the time to listen
someone that understands when i need a little space
and when i need attention. All you got to do is come around.

-N-