attractiveness « WordPress.com Tag Feed

Mingers are Grinners - Mt Isa mayor

zayzayem — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 14:48:28 +0000

Direct quote:

"Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face, Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness"

And this is how Mt Isa mayor, John Molony is hoping to attract women to his electorate. (Calling all ugly chicks! The Age. Seeking ugly women for Outback's lonely hearts AP.

Moloney has been panned world-wide (Wanted: Ugly Women - New York Sun) for daring to utter the phrase "beauty-challenged" when referring to the fairer sex. For a man who claims political-correct-speak is akin to "grabbing a turd by the clean end", I actually applaud John's effort (which may have been undone by his descriptions of beauty-challenged as missing teeth an/or having one ear lower than than the other). Stay strong brother. (Mayor won't say sorry - Daily Telegraph).

Moloney's message is positive one. He's offering hope to all those low self-esteemed ladies out there who want to find their own rugged unshaven coal-covered flannelette wearing bogan (on $100K+ a year) to tame. It's nice to see a male role model telling women there is still hope for them, even if that hope lies in Mt Isa of all places.

He's not even calling Mt Isa women ugly - which seems to be another major complaint. He is however possibly saying they are right up for it, which might actually have the reverse of the intended affect. Guys aren't too picky. Being told that out that there are women, even lopsided-eared toothless women, who are actually anticipating the drunken night of debauchery ahead may attract even more oversexed males to the heart of Northwest Queensland.

Scientists say 'beer goggles' are real

ginavivinetto — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 05:55:22 +0000

Doing the important research the rest of us did when we were in our 20s, A Live Science story suggests that people really do look better when we're wasted.

The research shows regardless of gender, everyone, with the right amount of liquor, will sleep with one another:

Surprisingly, the beer goggles effect was not limited to just the opposite sex among the ostensibly straight volunteers recruited for the study — they also rated people from their own sex as more attractive.

291. Sex and the fickle girl — Part 13

GuyMaligned — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 00:19:34 +0000

♀ She can’t fix her love life, if she can’t call it broke because of her misapprehensions, miscues, and mistakes dealing with her man. Blaming him takes her eye off her relationship expertise. (She chose him, her decision prevailed.)

♀ Women look for love in all the wrong places. His love never blossoms or seldom lasts, when she places his showing affection ahead of her showing respect, his fashion-plate image ahead of his rugged individualism, his hunkiness ahead of his character.

♀ Women expect men to hear what was never said. Men cannot, will not, or do not follow a woman’s verbal meanderings and impreciseness as other women can, will, and do.

♀ People miss a major point about teaching abstinence for teens. Girls firm up their confidence, expand interpersonal skills, and boost their relationship expertise by repeatedly saying ‘No’. Boys learn what’s permissible, acceptable, and valuable in the female world.

♀ Pretty women are treated better, and any woman can be prettier. Clothes and grooming impress both men and women.

♀ It’s rhetorical, but why do women try so hard to please men with sex but not please them with feminine charm, beauty, and strength of character that men admire? Men admire beauty, but they use sex.

♀ Shack up as substitute for or step toward marriage puts a couple’s destiny in the man’s hands. (Also, eighty percent of marriages fail after escalation from cohabiting.)

[More about sex and fickle females appears in posts 259, 246, 229, 216, 201, 184, 170, 160, 148, 137, 93, and 34. Scroll down or search by the number followed by a dot and space.]

Hot

joshlos — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 00:05:16 +0000

Sometimes I'll be out at the store or somewhere else and I'll see a woman so attractive I feel as though I would be doing her aesthetic appeal -- and, really, humanity in general -- a disservice if I didn't just walk up to her and say something along the lines of, "Excuse me, but you're pretty hot. That's all. Have a nice day."

And then walk away.

But I don't.

You see, I appreciate the hotness, but I don't wanna be that guy.

Well, unless it'd get me some dates.

But if it did, would I really wanna date a woman who responds to that kind of approach?

Hmmm...

This I must ponder further.

Scientists Prove Beer Goggles Exist

kreuzer33 — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 00:10:38 +0000

Finally! There is scientific proof that the phenomenon known as "Beer Goggles" does exist.

From MSNBC:

For the first time, scientists have proven that "beer goggles" are real — other people really do look more attractive to us if we have been drinking.

Surprisingly, the beer goggles effect was not limited to just the opposite sex among the ostensibly straight volunteers recruited for the study — they also rated people from their own sex as more attractive.

Scientists in England gave 84 heterosexual college students chilled lime-flavored drinks that were either non-alcoholic or given a dose of vodka equivalent in alcohol to a large glass of wine or a pint-and-a-half of beer.

After 15 minutes, the volunteers were shown photos of 40 other college students from both sexes. Both men and women who drank booze found these faces more attractive, "a roughly 10 percent increase in ratings of attractiveness," said researcher Marcus Munafo, an experimental psychologist at the University of Bristol in England.

The researchers also asked volunteers to rate their mood, "and there were no differences on those measures in the alcohol group compared to the no-alcohol group," Munafo added. "This suggests that the effect we observed wasn't due to a general change in mood."

I'm just glad to finally see that we can put this issue to rest and that Beer Goggles do exist. Of course, it is interesting to note that the effect is not specific to the opposite sex. I guess we should have known that alcohol does interesting things to the body. I'm surprised that this studied had not been completed earlier. Thoughts?

287. Boob language — Part 12

GuyMaligned — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 00:08:57 +0000

Women stew continually about their appearance. Yet, they blunder trying to blend excess fat into their daily appearance.

· They hide fat behind unattractive facades that lack class—for example, sweatshirts or masculine clothes.

· They try to restore their former star quality by shifting into clothing too young for their age.

· They squeeze into too-tight clothing and compensate with sexual suggestiveness.

· They disdain what men appreciate by appearing plain, sloppy, dirty, ragged, tasteless, masculine, anti-culture.

Poor packaging appears cheap; it reduces product quality in appearance if not fact. Extra fat isn’t necessarily the turnoff. It’s her appearance in clothing so inappropriate that it reveals desperation more than anything else.

For example, and only that, a well-groomed woman wearing the tent-like muumuu can easily stir masculine imagination. The hunter-conqueror male nature is attracted by and becomes curious about movement—especially female movement.

Muumuus hide flaws but display a bevy of mysterious movements that stir male imagination. His interest grows. Curiosity satisfied kills imagination, and muumuus don’t do that.

Poor product display doesn’t stir masculine imagination. It kills curiosity and stifles the search for more information.

Einstein said: “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” It applies to the battle of the sexes.

[More boob language appears at posts 253, 235, 220, 205, 188, 102, 98, 81, 52, 49, and 12. Search by the number followed by dot and space.]

Feminism

sammisal — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 18:31:08 +0000

Take a look at this piece in the Times today. The comments turned into a general discussion on feminism, of the sort we see all the time. One thing I particularly noticed was this comment:

Most people my age know that feminism was never about equality - it was about ugly women wanting to be treated the same as attractive women.

I'm so confused by this. Does this person not realise that ugly people* are people too? What the hell is wrong with wanting all women to be treated the same, regardless of how attractive they are?

Oh, I guess it has something to do with the fact that this is how we treat people. Women are quite different.

I do despair.

*I hope it goes without saying that I really don't like saying that at all. I discussed some of the problems with the whole thing about attractiveness here.

Network for Internet users over the attractiveness of television

tswcbyy20 — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 06:27:45 +0000

网络对于网民的吸引力超过电视。在CNNIC于8月6日发布的《中国网民媒体消费行为研究报告》中指出，79.8%的网民选择通过互联网了解体育赛事，获得视频转播权的网站在赛事营销大战中更能获得网民青睐。

网易赛事频道的用户黏性在门户中超强，这说明了网易赛事频道内容建设更具吸引力。DCCI判断，互联网可能超越电视成为网民的理想选择。作为新型媒介，互联网以其信息传播速度的及时性，受众与受众之间极高的互动性，在体育信息的传播以及相关营销方面发挥无可替代的作用。

Attractiveness

sammisal — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 00:05:08 +0000

This post at Shapely Prose got me thinking about stuff that I used to ponder a lot, but sort of gave up on, to be honest, for a little while (I think it gave me a headache - like free will, I can't bear to think about that for too long).

Feminists often talk about how women are objectified as sex-objects, and how this is demeaning to women (which I totally agree with). I've mentioned before how I used to flirt back when men would approach me in the street - I was incredibly flattered by this. Now, if something like that happens (it tends to happen much less, I suspect because I am no longer a teenager) I get offended. It'll be clear to most readers that this is because this man has reduced the person I am, to what I look like. Whether or not he thinks I am "pretty" or "beautiful", the shape of my body. The thing is, I just didn't get any alternative.

Before I go on I just want to clarify something. I understand that I look at people that I think are attractive. However I think there are more and less acceptable ways of doing this. I am particularly reminded of this one post on The F-Word. The post is quite long so a bit of it is below (although I recommend you read the whole thing):

He then turned to his friend and said in a loud, brass and self-assured manner, “so, fuck that or what?”

I don't think there's any need to convince anyone that this is totally unacceptable! It's incredibly dehumanising, and the implication that the woman in question should almost be honoured by the privilege of being 'fucked' by one of these guys is awful. In addition, it is often very intimidating, as a woman, when a man speaks about you like that. Finally, personally I find it offensive when someone (always a man) stops me, in the middle of talking to someone/walking somewhere/whatever else I happen to be doing, and tries to talk to me. The assumption there, as I see it, is that what I am doing is less important than this particular man's desire to talk to me (and whatever else he may be thinking).

Incidents like these are not what I am talking about! There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that it is completely unacceptable for somebody to clearly objectify another person, in a situation like that. It's not acceptable to basically dehumanise someone in the way that these men did in the example above.

But the thing is, what is an acceptable way to find someone attractive? I mean, as I'm writing this the obvious thing I'm thinking of is to *not* dehumanise them. And I guess that's a big part of it.

One of the key problems is that what is attractive is pretty much always culturally-defined. In the west it is often said that men prefer women with blonde hair, but the fact is, men in Africa have been happily falling in love with women for centuries, and these women aren't blonde. There's often an element of racism in there - I remember watching a film about prostituted women, and one woman, who was from south-east Asia, said that her 'clients' would often expect her to exaggerate her accent. There seems to be a tendency to desire 'exotic' women. However in general (perhaps when looking for a long-term partner, rather than a prostitute?) it seems the more attractive faces in the UK are white, and have white features. Numerous studies have shown that what is the average is considered more attractive (for details look at Wikipedia). These studies (as far as I can gather) used entirely caucasian participants. So any features that aren't average (ie, pretty much any features that aren't caucasian) aren't considered attractive. Obviously the post that got me thinking was about fat; again, it is generally culturally defined what weight is attractive: for example in cultures where food is more scarce, the slimness that is loved so much in the west isn't as popular.

Another big problem I personally have with the whole concept of attractiveness, is that to me it seems we are basically saying that people who are deemed attractive, but whatever standards, are basically worth more than those who aren't. Isn't that how we see it? And it's not only about forming relationships with people; beauty is frequently associated with 'goodness' so people considered ugly are more likely to be convicted of a crime, for example.

For me personally, as I understand more and more the cultural nature of attractiveness, and the 'othering' I guess, that is a big part of it, I find myself becoming attractive to a wider range of people. But this still leaves out a lot of people that I'm just not attracted to. And aside from the problem I mentioned, about basically deciding somewhere is worth more or less on the basis of what they look like, to me it's just absurd to rule someone out as a partner on that basis - surely there's so much other stuff that's much more important?

It was mentioned in the discussion following the post that maybe it'd be a good idea to find one good feature about pretty much everyone you see. I've been confused about all these issues for years - I'm quietly optimistic that this may actually be a (partial) solution. Worth a try, anyway!

Search phrase: "[What] should a gay guy shave"?

bert5 — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 20:04:05 +0000

I was getting some search term hits on this question to another blog entry. But I think this is a common question or issue from straight guys. Some of my straight guy friends ask me: why don't you shave?

Now, it's not that I have had a serious beard ever -- genetics has made that impossible -- , but I commonly just let things go for a week and there's a bit of fuzz. And actually I think it looks okay, not something I would do when meeting the Queen of England perhaps. But it hides some imperfect skin and makes me look a bit more rugged.

I guess straight guys tend to shave religiously themselves and think not shaving looks unattractive. ...And of course it does -- to them. I mean let's face it, they are attracted to women. Women with facial hair might have hormonal problems. It's probably wise for guys to not waste much time with such women. And so, in their perhaps well meaning, yet incredibly feeble attempt to put themselves in my shoes, they think, immediately, that I would look more attractive if I shaved. Their primitive brains haven't yet fully grasped the concept that I like guys who like guys. And guys who like guys, like them with at least some testosterone -- facial hair is a positive indicator of that.

Seriously, it's dumb to listen to straight guys for grooming advice, if you're gay. I mean there's no straight eye for the gay guy.

Now if you're trying to get a straight guy to 'convert' (impossible, in my book), but he's saying something like he'd do it with you if you looked like a girl and shaved, then this guy is a total loser. I mean he can't even get a girl interested in him, so he's trying to get a gay guy to look like a girl for him. Get as far away as you can from this f**king bastard immediately.

# # #

Then again, perhaps I misinterpreted the search terms. A new one has come up saying something like "I'm gay, what should I shave?" Uh, hmmm, personally I think the best solution to that varies by individual. But if you want to see demonstration of what certain things looks like shaved, you're searching in the wrong place.

Fad cultures

pedicuresandblackeyes — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:55:05 +0000

Asians are SO hot right now.

At least they are for me. Previously in my circle of influence, I was familiar with Latin American, European, and American culture (or subcultures thereof). But I'd never had any asian friends. Close friends, that is. Not so odd, I think, because UMBC is notorious for Asians keeping to themselves and the Anime club was full of white people. Then, after I graduated, I found the Asian supermarket near my house to have the best prices of produce (makes you wonder where they get it from bieng so cheap), and as I'm a voracious herbivore I started going there. I would like to say that that opened up a new culture for me, but although I made it my policy to try one new food each time I went there, I also had a policy (for safety reasons!) of not buying anything without an English translation on the package, so I really did feel limited by my language capability.

But then I met some Asians. Filipinos, to be exact. To be sure, their culture is very distinct from other Asian cultures, but they have become the first asians that i can say I know well. Two of my TKD instructors are Filipino (Mr. C makes a point of it, in fact, to tell whatever newbie comes by for class that TKD is Korean, but he is Filipino. Us white people wouldn't know the difference otherwise.). The best Arnis fighter at the school is also Filipino. Before knowing them, asians were simply friendly faces, but I was never attracted to them nor their culture. Now, there is a mystique about them that fascinates me and is so attractive to me. Thier faces look like marble statues, and they have jet black hair that often shimmers with shades of blue. Thier features look so purposefully placed on thier faces, as if God fitted the eyes, nose, and mouth from below in order to not disturb thier flawless skin.

And thier culture has come alive for me in an explosion of colors. Thier written languagees look to me like mysterious hyroglyphics, and its direction brings a sense of the vertical to writing that I had never even thought about. Their foods- geez where do I even begin! I can't say I like all asian food, but all of the vegetables that they use impresses me. It seems that they make better use of the resources they have- eating all parts of the fish, all parts of the vegetable.

And then there's the quirks. Like, I had no idea that they get red when drinking and can't handle thier alcohol. When my filipino friend told me this, I laughed at him, until i realized that he got a tad offended. Whoops.

But, although I am quite happily taken up by the mystique of this culture (or the variety of asian cultures) I know that once I become familiar with the good and bad, quirks and strengths of these people, they too will lose that mystery and will become- for better or worse- just people, like me. This is why I say it is a fad race.

But, what I really want to know is- does anybody else have a fad race/culture? I figure that with the twisted view on the world that we have {exoticism} it is only natural that we whites experience this. But you minorities, do you have fad cultures?

Jane's Celebrity Comparison: 1

Jane — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 14:18:43 +0000

Posted by Jane

So since Tilia did her lovely celebrity comparison of Guitar Guy to Dominic Monaghan I thought I'd do my own on the men I've spoken about in previous posts.

First of all, I must concentrate on Kip, since I am missing him like crazy lately. His comparison is hands down the Mexican actor Gael Garcia Bernal, and not just because they have similar features, but because of their mannerisms, smile and style as well.

For those of you who don't immediately recognize Gael Garcia Bernal's picture, he's starred in many Indie films like The Motorcycle Diaries as Che Guevara, Y Tu Mamma Tambien, the racy Mexican hit about a threesome, his most famous role to date in the beautifully done Amores Perros, Michel Gondry's The Science of Sleepwhere he plays a sweet clueless Canadian who falls in love with Charlotte Gainsbourg and of course, where he plays a fucked up drag queen in Pedro Almodovar's Bad Education, as well as his latest appearance in the award winning Babel.

So basically if you haven't seen any of these films, you need to go watch them now. All of them. If only to feast your eyes on this gorgeous man.

First of all, Kip's eyes are big and brown like Bernal's, and their skin color is very similar as well. Their hair has a similar shall I say, 'bounce' to it, both thick and nice to run through with your fingers. They're even both around the same height.

He's also extremely confident and comfortable in his own skin and nonchalant about his body, which exudes exceptional sexuality. He's completely unaware of his attractiveness, and he's so cool about it. Mind you, he does smoke cigarettes, which I know is a bad habit, and I myself just recently called it quits for good. Go me.

Anyway their playfulness is also quite similar, as once Kip becomes comfortable with someone he can be extremely silly and fun. And when that smile appears on his most innocent face, every good looking man could be in the same room at the same time and I wouldn't glance up, not even once.

He also has the most childlike laugh that makes you want to go run to the backyard, play Twister, run down slides and blow bubbles.

So now perhaps you can see why I'm still a bit hung up on the man, though he remains illusive and mysterious, and still lives clear across the other side of the world. I still can't get over him.

My Brother-in-law's Body

midagedman — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 00:09:53 +0000

He's my age. And its nice.

I went on vacation with him and his family. It was a beach vacation and, well, there it was, for all to see - a mostly exfoliated hard torso, crowned by a full head of hair. I was envious.

The thing is, I'm not exactly sure why I'm much flabbier than he is. His eating is not much better or less than mine (although he drinks alcohol only rarely and in small quantities). His lifestyle is no healthier. He stretches daily for his back and gets 30 minutes of aerobic workout three times a week, but otherwise doesn't work out.

Two primary reasons thus present themselves. Genetics - I simply can't do anything about that. The other, less generous, thought, is that those two faint scars on his abdomen look like they are from incisions. Could he have had liposuction or some kind of cosmetic procedure?

Regardless, I'm back from vacation and have renewed my trips to the gym with increased vigor. My goal is an hour of exercise (combination of aerobic and weights) five times a week. I'm watching what I eat, and drink. My wife has commented that the rogaine like product is visibly doing something that she likes. I know that I will have to wait a while to see any movement in my weight, and my goal is to stick with the regimen long enough to stick it out.

I saw my brother-in-law's body. It's a new ballgame.

269. Dirge follows urge to merge

GuyMaligned — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 00:02:02 +0000

Women are in charge of relationships, but do they know what, how, and why to do it?

♀ Persistently rejecting boys’ offers for first-time sex teaches girls to ‘read’ and evaluate things more important than looks and love—his conscience, values, and attitudes.

♀ Ignore or pardon his character traits to enter a relationship, and girls enter an unknown world sans map and compass.

♀ By age 21 she should score 100% on this test: Distinguish a man’s devotion for her as a person from another man’s commitment to join her in a relationship.

♀ Virtue makes a person shine relative to others. Conscience is virtue honored by strength of character. Virtuous character outshines physical attractiveness.

♀ Proving a man’s good character takes time, and virtual virginity works best. Marry a man of good character, and her future brightens with permanence.

♀ The TV in the bedroom adds more straying power than staying power for both sexes. Late night shows program the mind for what’s bigger, better, and more appealing outside the home. The body’s relaxed, the mind’s vulnerable.

Men get the urge. Women agree to merge. Children hear the dirge.

Dreary

zenuria — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 07:51:53 +0000

Its a dreary late Sunday afternoon. Why do I feel drear?

Yesterday I went with a friend to see Mama Mia and then have dinner. I loved the movie; found it a lot of fun and most enjoyable.

Today I drove up into the hills with my friend, O, and we had lunch in a country pub by a log fire. We wandered the street a bit and came home via a beautiful nursery where we had devonshire tea.

The day is cold, drizzly with a little fog. It was lovely up in the hills and this really is my kind of weather - especially when you are drinking red wine by a fire in a country pub. Yet I've felt flat all day.

I'm home now in my lovely home. I love this house dearly but there is no denying it is a cold, dark house.

I was surprised and impressed on Thursday to get an email from P immediately on his return from his bushwalking/camping expeditions to KI and the Flinders. He sent the email around lunchtime which must have been literally soon after he walked in the door.

So there is P still in my life, and B to keep me diverted at work. Cruise in three weeks time. All in all things are good but the dreariness today just seems impenetrable. I'm trying to justify it, define it, work it out as I write this blog post. But I can't identify the source. Perhaps I don't need to - I will just accept it and sit with it.

Last weekend I went out to dinner with a group of women who used to work together in Brunei. That was very interesting as most of them have travelled and lived in many parts of the world. One of the women has been happily married for 27 years and has two young adult children. Photos of the family and all the places they've lived adorned the walls of their beautiful old stately home. I must admit, for maybe the first time ever, feeling a slight twinge of envy as I talked to her and looked around her home and listened to tales of her lifestyle. The family thing has never been my thing, but I did suddenly wonder what I might have been missing out on. She seemed so happy and satisfied with life and I wished to feel like that too.

Do you ever contemplate how different your life might have been if you'd made different choices? I don't harbour regrets - I see no point in it - but I do sometimes toy with the idea of how things might have gone differently if I'd made a different choice at a given moment in my life.

There is only one thing I look back on as a potential mistake that could have changed the course of my life. Now I don't brood on it as noone can ever tell how things might turn out. And we can only do what seems right to us at the time.

In my late teens I had a really great male friend. We talked on the phone all the time we weren't together, we had similar tastes, interests and ideas. Our outlook on life was very similar. One day he asked me out and I said no, and that was the end of the friendship I'm sad to say. He went on to marry my then best friend and they are still together now 25 years later. I am godmother to one of their sons and they are still good friends although I see them very rarely as they live interstate. He's turned out to be a really great guy, good husband and father. In him I sense a kindred spirit - he also has the underlying restlessness with life that I have. But his wife doesn't - and she has kept him stable I believe.

I do wonder quite often what might have been if I'd said yes when he asked me out. Would we have had as successful a relationship as he has gone on to have with my friend? I'm glad they found each other and have been so happy. I don't begrudge it or regret it. It is just a matter of interest to me - he still remains a man I greatly admire and respect. And they haven't had it all easy either - they've had some very tough times early on, dealing with the death of their young daughter (SIDS).

He always wanted a family too, and that has never really been high on my list. I think if I had settled down happily in my 20s I might have tried for children. But I have a medical condition that makes it quite likely I couldn't have conceived anyway. We'll never know. I wouldn't have liked to see this man deprived of his children. He is a family man through and through. We may have been totally miserable together.

So a little jaunt down memory lane on this dreary afternoon. I was discussing all this with O earlier too. Funny we ended up having the same conversation today that I had with my other friend last night. We were saying how attractiveness is often little to do with physical appearance and a lot to do with confidence and attitude. I have been feeling much more confident about myself lately, partly due to bootcamp fitness but also due to having had three men interested in me in the past 18 months. My friend last night told me I was looking fantastic and vibrant. And I feel that way too. I've never been confident in my appearance before and it is nice to be feeling that way now. I'm no raving beauty but I do feel attractive at the moment. And the more you feel that way, the more success you have and the more reinforcement that feeling gets. A cycle. O was out last night and the night before and had the men (and some women too) dripping off her because she was feeling confident in herself. She also gave herself permission to have fun and not be intense and serious.

There is no real point to all these musings I'm afraid. Just the usual stream of consciousness "dump" that tends to flow when I write. The underlying melancholy is still with me but I know it will pass soon. And I must try to think up something interesting and meaningful to post instead of all this maudlin raving.

I'm doing fine but I think, deep down, I still wish there was someone here with me right now, sharing my life with me.

My Pretty Should be Your Pretty Too

prometheustherebel — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 03:43:46 +0000

Over the past couple of days, I have had conversations with friends about this interconnectedness in which we live our lives and I hope that we all recognize that even though we are born and die alone, we are always with others. Everything I do has some reflection on others around me.

This being said, there can be no belief or action we hold that doesn't affect someone else. I think about this a lot in the context of what it means to be considered attractive. No matter your sexuality, preference, or orientation we all have standards which we impose on each other and each gender most certainly has a considerable stake in how the other views their physical appearance. In a world where we see Hollywood's female actors so made up, with "perfect" breasts and "perfect" bodies, to blame women's standard of beauty on women only is what I would consider ignorant and unrealistic. The same goes for men's standard of attractiveness as well. Granted it's not really "macho" to admit, but men are just as intimidated by Brad Pitt and Justin Timberlake as women are intimidated by Halle Berry and Angelina Jolie. Granted, the number of images of men aren't as prevalent as those of women.

The point is, with this interconnectedness that links us to each other, it is incredibly difficult to completely deny that our standards of attractiveness have no implications for others and above all that, it simply just doesn't make very much sense.

Direct selection on male attractiveness and female preference fails to produce a response

Matt Hall — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 02:16:23 +0000

Background: Theoretical studies suggest that direct and indirect selection have the potential to cause substantial evolutionary change in female mate choice. Similarly, sexual selection is considered a strong force in the evolution of male attractiveness and the exaggeration of secondary sexual traits. Few studies have, however, directly tested how female mate choice and male attractiveness respond to selection. Here we report the results of a selection experiment in which we selected directly on female mating preference for attractive males and, independently, on male attractiveness in the guppy, Poecilia reticulata. We measured the direct and correlated responses of female mate choice and male attractiveness to selection and the correlated responses of male ornamental traits, female fecundity and adult male and female survival. Results: Surprisingly, neither female mate choice nor male attractiveness responded significantly to direct or to indirect selection. Fecundity did differ significantly among lines in a way that suggests a possible sexually-antagonistic cost to male attractiveness. Conclusions: The opportunity for evolutionary change in female mate choice and male attractiveness may be much smaller than predicted by current theory, and may thus have important consequences for how we understand the evolution of female mate choice and male attractiveness. We discuss a number of factors that may have constrained the response of female choice and male attractiveness to selection, including low heritabilities, low levels of genetic (co)variation in the multivariate direction of selection, sexually-antagonistic constraint on sexual selection and the "environmental covariance hypothesis".

Authors: Matthew D. Hall, Anna K. Lindholm & Robert C. Brooks.

Awesomness or Attractiveness!

zubinmehta — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 09:13:35 +0000

Somethings, some stuff and some people are just awesome and/or attractive. But how do we pay for such stuff. The answer is "NO" you cannot pay for it.Forget it, because you just cannot pay for it. Awesome things are priceless. But vice versa is not true. Its not about free stuff being awesome but about awesome things being priceless and hence free because to know it is awesome you have to experience it and to experience it, it should be free !

"There is no charge for pure awesomeness or attractiveness". Kung-Fu Panda

253. Boob language — Part 11

GuyMaligned — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 00:11:14 +0000

Females duplicate men in manner, language, style, attire, and grooming. Ignorant of masculine priorities, they expect to captivate manly interest for more than sex.

· Women duplicate men in no-style dress and thoughtless grooming. Beer with the guys attracts them better.

· Pregnant women copy tee-shirted beer bellies. If he can do it, she can too. The world gets uglier, as women think they gain through defiance.

· As women dress down in everyday life, men outdo them to confirm masculine independence. So, men dress worse, and women follow suit.

· Loose and shapeless bras provide comfort, but unadvertised assets generate little curiosity. If she has no incentive to show herself off to the max, then he figures his max will not be required. So, she starts off in the hole.

· Women dress erotically to capture a man. They attract attention and may be taken off the shelf and even taken home. But eroticism promotes sex, not loyalty for the whole product.

· A keeper advertises and packages herself to keep sex in the background, because that keeps male minds focused on her star quality.

· Cleavage draws his eyeballs downward and his thoughts to nestling there. Good advertising works! Does the rest of her appearance sell her as quality stuff or just promote unintended consequences?

Modern females make sloppy, careless, and slovenly fashionable. They slouch a lot. They do this although men feast with their eyes, and husbands expect a wife they can show off.

[More boob language appears at posts 235, 220, 205, 188, 102, 98, 81, 52, 49, and 12. Search by the number followed by dot and space.]

Were they hot or not?

JSE — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 02:34:51 +0000

I got a strange e-mail from the sociology department last week asking if I was between 64 and 71 and interested in spending an hour and a half rating the attractiveness of high school yearbook photos from 1957. ("No" and "intriguing, but no.") The e-mail went on to explain:

WHY ATTRACTIVENESS?
For this research project, the Wisconsin Longitudinal Study is interested in comparing life course data of the 1957 graduates with their level of attractiveness as evaluated by peers in their age group. More specifically, we are investigating the relationship between attractiveness and educational attainment, perceptions of performance, and labor market outcomes.

WHAT IS THE WLS?
The Wisconsin Longitudinal Study (WLS) is a long-term study of 10,317 men and women who graduated from Wisconsin high schools in 1957. The WLS provides an opportunity to study the life course trajectories of 1957 high school graduates and their families. WLS data cover a wide range of topics, including education, military service, physical and mental health, labor market experiences, socioeconomic status, finances, family characteristics, aging, and retirement. The WLS is one of the country's most comprehensive and well known longitudinal studies.

They're not kidding: here's the list of books and papers based on WLS data, and here's a 113-page overview (.pdf) of the state of their cohort in 2004.

Want to know a secret?

Melissa — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 02:44:28 +0000

The most attractive thing to me, is PASSION.

When a guy is passionate about something, whether it is music, sports, art, writing, whatever. When he talks about something and his eyes light up and he gets all excited and intense...that's passion.

i NEVER saw that in your eyes.

249. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 15

GuyMaligned — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 00:11:47 +0000

♀?♂ When unmarried women yield the first time to a man, he wins much more than sex. Men rule over women they conquer. If she refuses, he dumps her.

♀?♂ Men see friendship differently. Women don’t fit a man’s mold of pure friendship, except when they are not sex targets.

♀?♂ Men treat women according to what they appear to be—sex object, slut, lady, sloppy, neat, pretty, immaculately groomed, careless, desperate, disposable.... That is, she’s responsible for the respect with which she’s treated.

♀?♂ Men treated as sex targets by females learn that all women have little else to offer. Let the fun and irresponsible games continue. Visible groupies are more significant than unseen bed post notches.

♀?♂ Modern female fidelity is questionable to men, because so many women sacrifice themselves at the altar of sexual freedom.

♀?♂ More than sex, men crave appreciation for who they are and what they do. If not their wife, however, sex works just fine for today—thank you very much.

♀?♂ One major facet of a man’s sense of significance rests upon not having to face men who have bedded his woman.

[More jack about Jack appears in posts 232, 217, 202, 185, 172, 162, 153, 142, 135, 132, 114, 97, 91, and 7. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

Quotes...

lifeisaverb — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:46:24 +0000

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."
– Marcel Proust

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"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted."
– Bertrand Russell

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"Don't be afraid if things seem difficult in the beginning. That's only the initial impression. The important thing is not to retreat; you have to master yourself."
Olga Korbut, Gymnast - Four Time Olympic Gold Medallist

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"Do not fear mistakes, there are none."
– Miles Davis

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"So what do we do? Anything - something. So long as we don't just sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we've satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late."
Lee Iacocca, Former Chairman of Chrysler Corporation

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Days are scrolls: write on them only what you want remembered.
-Bchya Ibn Pakuda

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"Four short words sum up what has lifted most successful individuals above the crowd: a little bit more. They did all that was expected of them and a little bit more."
A. Lou Vickery, Writer
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I will not allow yesterday's success to lull me into today's complacency, for this is the great foundation of failure.
- Og Mandino

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It’s the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, but it’s the little differences that make them interesting.
-Todd Ruthman

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It's better to do nothing with your money than something you don't understand.
- Suze Orman

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"We are, each of us, angels with only one wing, and we can only fly embracing each other."
– Luciano Decrescenzo

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"People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don't know when to quit. Most people succeed because they are determined to."
George E. Allen, 1832-1907, Publisher and Author

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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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"There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I'm special. We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-fuckin' rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others."
- Jake Green, Revolver

Being desired

lirone — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 00:11:26 +0000

I find I tend to panic a bit when I notice someone is attracted to me. It often happens that I notice their attractedness well before I've decided whether I am attracted to them, or indeed paid any attention to their attractiveness. I met someone recently who, it's clear, fancies me quite a bit, but although I could repeat a lot of what he said (in half an hour's conversation), I could give only the haziest description of what he looks like! (I don't think it's too much of a stereotype to say that it's rather rarer for a man to speak to a woman without noticing the way she looks than vice versa!). Anyway, the effect is that I often feel I'm under pressure to catch up and decide!

It's more unease than panic, I suppose - a feeling that the situation is out of my control, and that I have a responsibility to make my mind up straight away about what I want so as to avoid giving the wrong signals and leading someone on. And yet I know that for many women being desired is something that gives them great pleasure and affirmation. And some women, consciously or unconsciously, use this power to manipulate and control men.

I've never wanted that sort of power, and I've never sought out that sort of affirmation. I was a bit of a late developer in the dating game, as I've mostly had other priorities that seemed more interesting (and deep down less scary!) than pursuing relationships when I was quite happily and busily single! So being desired was always rather unfamiliar ground, and kept taking me by surprise.

It didn't help that most of the guys I noticed looking at me that way often showed it in a dog-like, rather hopeless, sad and unassertive devotion, which (sorry guys), just wasn't at all attractive to me and made me feel guilty about not giving them the attention they clearly craved. (On the other hand, when I noticed I was attracted to someone before I had an idea how they felt, I was often so nervous about whether the feelings were returned that I was completely unable to read their behaviour at all!)

Having said that, I'm getting better... the first time I realised someone was attracted to me (I must have been about 17) I panicked and avoided the poor guy (with whom I'd been pursuing a relaxed and (from my side) entirely asexual friendship) for about a month. I've come a long way since then, and have navigated serious relationships and casual flirtations with increasing confidence. And once I've confirmed that desire is mutual, I am very happily uninhibited. But still I catch myself, as a few days ago, feeling a bit uneasy when I notice someone fancies me, before I've made my mind up about them.

But this time, having identified my reaction, I am working to change it. To accept, and to enjoy, the fact of my attractiveness. To accept that me just being who I am, physically and in personality, is going to be attractive to people. (I'd never claim to be drop-dead gorgeous in the conventional sense, but I have gradually overcome the false modesty and lack of confidence that stopped me being aware that I am, in my way, very attractive to particular men).

I am starting to feel convinced that, if someone is attracted to me, it's not something I'm doing to them. So if they end up experiencing confusion or frustration or disappointment, that's not my responsibility. Nor do I need to change the way I want to behave naturally - e.g. dancing with less energy and joy - just because of the effect it might have on people watching me. There's a world of difference between setting out deliberately to seduce someone, which I feel does confer some responsiblity for feelings that have been provoked consciously, and happening to seduce someone by being myself.

So most of the time, if someone is attracted to me, it's just their reaction to the person I am. And the fact that they are attracted to me does not reduce my control over the situation. My feeling of being powerless comes because I feel I should be responsible for controlling their feelings. But if I stop feeling responsible for that, I can see that the fact that they are attracted to me does give me a degree of power.

Not that I wish to be manipulative or abuse that power. But actually I think being aware of it, and accepting it, will make me kinder and less likely to confuse or hurt people. I hope that through accepting my attractiveness I will find it easier to relax, be myself, and react naturally and frankly, rather than being driven by fears. As with so many things, it is often fear that makes us behave most cruelly towards others - and I'm sure I hurt and confused the poor guy who first shocked me by being attractive to me. I suspect using attractiveness to manipulate often results from fear in one way or another.

Alongside that acceptance I need to develop another - an acceptance of my own desire or lack of desire or simply haven't-made-my-mind-up-yet. That any of these feelings are appropriate and acceptable, regardless of whether the other person desires me or not.

I have a feeling life might be more interesting with this new perspective...

( Photo - Pretty Woman Walking Down the street, originally uploaded by QTR at Flickr.