Besides, who wants to read posts about letting go of modern day, technologically advanced, entertainment machines capable of connecting the world through signals and wires and maintaining an online database of your most personal writings that are, in turn, read by countless strangers who feel the need to read words written by other strangers, due to the fact that they have no lives of their own and are also ashamed that they aren't doing anything productive with the short amount of time they've been allotted on this speck of a planet in an endless void of blackness and infinitely puzzling mysteries that man will never solve, let alone conceive of, without dying and reaching the next plane of existence, if there even is one, and meeting with the grand architect that has so kindly created your soul and forced breath into nothingness just so you can live out your days questioning the reasons people so blindly resort to such superfluous, self centered, all-consuming, ignorant hopes and dreams providing them with the feeling of being of great importance to the existence of our species, which has sadly ceased to resemble anything remotely human, just so they can own an ipod and a cell phone?

You follow?

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Don't worry, I'll let you know if I plan on disappearing anytime soon.

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Currently listening: Sigur Rós - Ágætis Byrjun

Like most of my mates in unit, I resented the 2 years spent in my camp at desolate Lim Chu Kang.

Unlike most of them, the patriot in me still felt it was necessary as much as my hatred for this unwanted conscription burned.

Simply put, we do this to protect the things important to us.

However, there are times when I question why the heck am I putting in the effort to protect some of the idiots on this island.

Yesterday was one of those instances.

Here's an article written in the Sunday Times:

As was the case last year, he's sweeping medals at schools meet. He is training at Sports School now

The boy who created a furore in the athletics scene last year is back - taller, bigger, stronger and faster - and once again, some parents are upset.

At the Inter-Primary Track and Field Championships which started last week, Kang Yee Cher, now 10 and at least 5cm taller than last year, clinched two gold medals and broke one record.

He still has one more race to run on Wednesday.

At the podium, the 1.65m-tall Primary 4 pupil from Fuhua Primary in Jurong stood head and shoulders above the other winners.

He is at least 20cm taller than them and boasts developed biceps and calf muscles. The other boys - like most boys that age - are skinny in comparison.

As was the case last year, some parents whose children are taking part in the meet are upset at Yee Cher's participation and persist in the view that the Vietnam-born boy is older than he claims.

Born to a Singaporean father and Vietnamese mother, Yee Cher moved to Singapore and became a citizen here when he was two years old.

One parent, Mr Premraj Thuraisingam, 41, who is a former physical education teacher, complained to The Sunday Times: 'I've never seen a 10-year-old of that size in my entire life. He even has hair on his legs.'

Mr Premraj, whose 10-year-old son is competing against Yee Cher in at least two races at the meet this year, added: 'The problem is he has created so many outstanding records that, for generations to come, there won't be any child who would be able to break them.'

Last week, Yee Cher won gold in the long jump event. His jump of 4.74m was 74cm farther than his closest challenger's and also set a new record.

He also won the 300m D-Boys final in a time of 43.84 seconds. The runner-up was still 30m away when he reached the finish line.

Away from the schools' scene, he has since also made his mark in the international arena.

At the Annual Australian Little Athletics Championships in Perth in April this year, he won gold in the 100m and 200m races, beating his peers from around the world.

His coach,Mr Remy Gan, said that many of them were Yee Cher's size.

The young sprinter was an unknown until last year's track and field championships when his record-breaking performances were greeted with disbelief.

He finished the 100m dash in 12.41 seconds and 200m race in 25.7 seconds.

The times topped all four divisions - A, B, C and D - in the 13-and-under annual school meet.

Observers, however, voiced their doubts about the boy's age to the authorities and the media, claiming he was older than nine.

Even after the Ministry of Education had checked and confirmed his age, many still had their doubts about it.

One parent, who declined to be named, said last week: 'It is widely known that in some neighbouring countries, people can change their age for their own benefit. It is possible that this boy's official records are inaccurate.'

At the meet last year, parents and spectators did not bother to conceal their resentment.

WheneverYee Cher stood at the start line or went on the podium to receive his medals, spectators would boo and jeer.

Some parents hurled insults at him and his teacher, calling them cheats. The boy had to hide in the toilet before races.

The experience left him so traumatised that he wanted to quit running. There was even talk that he would switch schools.

His school principal, Miss Fuziah Taha, said last week that she and the vice-principal tried to talk Yee Cher out of quitting.

Fearing the waste of talent, the Singapore Sports School offered to train Yee Cher.

He now trains once a week at the school in Woodlands.

Dr Irwin Seet, the school's sports director, said: 'We give him good-quality coaching and help him build up his confidence. He is happy and more assured now.'

His Sports School coach, Mr Gan, 31, said Yee Cher 'eats and sleeps' track and field.

He would come every other day to watch the older boys train and ask questions on how he could improve.

Miss Fuziah described him as an above-average pupil who is humble and well-liked in school.

'He is rather shy but he'd sit and talk to his teachers in school. Everyone in school loves him because he is a very good boy,' she said.

While Yee Cher will be too young to participate in the upcoming inaugural Youth Olympics in Singapore in 2010, which is open to teens from 14 to 18 years, the Singapore Athletic Association is considering putting him 'under the radar'.

Said its president Loh Lin Kok: 'We'll look at him as a budding athlete and maybe nurture him.'

While some parents are still upset at Yee Cher's presence in the schools' track and field meet, most are now more open about his participation.

Parents no longer boo or hurl abuse at him.

But Yee Cher is still clearly scarred by what happened last year.

In between races, he and the other athletes of Fuhua Primary congregate at the back of the stadium, hiding from the crowds, unlike other teams who sit in the stands.

After each race, instead of celebrating his win, he walks off quietly, keeping his eyes on the ground.

He is still terrified of publicity, repeatedly declining to speak to reporters and avoiding cameras.

His parents have also declined to be interviewed.

At least one parent thinks Yee Cher should be given a break and due credit.

Said Mr William Wong, 50, father of 12-year-old sprinter Jannah Wong from CHIJ Katong Convent Primary: 'The boy is in Primary 4 and talented for his age. He won the trophy because he deserved it.'

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So when some guy comes in to whoop your child's butt and blow the competition away, you complain of an uneven playing field.

Some even have the audacity to tell the press that he changed his age for his own benefit, under the guise of anonymity no doubt.

This guy, mind you, is a bloody 10-year-old boy.

And yet you booed him off the podium last year. This year, the abuses have stopped, but judging from the comments you made above you haven't changed your mindset at all.

Do Asians complain about the bigger and stronger physiques of the Europeans or Americans at the Olympics?

Wake up your bloody idea. There was never a level physical playing field to begin with. Everybody is gifted with different talents when they were born. To put it any other way would be showing sheer immaturity.

If my son ever competes with him in the same event and comes whining to me after that, I would be frustrated no doubt. But would I jeer at him at the podium and deny him his pride? No, thank you. I would tell my son that it's just bad luck he was in the same age group and that the better competitor had won.

Isn't that what sports is all about? May the best man win? How about being sporting instead? I'm sure that doesn't mean crying foul to the authorities or whoever that will listen to your sorry self digging up old stories again.

To Yee Cher, keep on running man and ignore those bastards.

To all those whom I'm talking about, I'm sure you feel pretty damn great tormenting a 10-year-old boy and taking away his chance to celebrate. I just hope your children know better.

How bout putting yourselves in his parents' shoes for once?

I think being enraged and ashamed doesn't even begin to describe it - ashamed by the very people who call themselves the same Singaporeans.

Am I bowed down? Then let me urge this word of grace before the Lord. It is His way, His custom, His promise, His delight, to raise up them that are bowed down. Is it a sense of sin and a consequent depression of spirit which distresses me? Then the work of Jesus is, in this case, made and provided to raise me up into rest. O Lord, raise me, for Thy mercy's sake!

Is it a sad bereavement or a great fall in circumstances? Here again the Comforter has undertaken to console. What a mercy for us that one Person of the sacred Trinity should become the Comforter! This work will be well done since such a glorious One has made it His peculiar care.

Some are so bowed down that only Jesus can loose them from their infirmity, but He can, and He will, do it. He can raise us up to health, to hope, to happiness. He has often done so under former trials, and He is the same Savior and will repeat His deeds of lovingkindness. We who are today bowed down and sorrowful shalt yet be set on high, and those who now mock at us shall be greatly ashamed. What an honor to be raised up by the Lord! It is worthwhile to be bowed down that we may experience His upraising power.

i was getting ready for the gym after reading the chapter.  i took up a t-shirt that had the nike swish sign on the front with the words "jesus did it" written around it.  i picked up the shirt and then thought about going to the gym and put it back down.  i then proceeded to pick up another shirt which had a soccer ball on it.

as i was about to put on the shirt i felt convicted.  immediately those words came back to me.  i heard the question in my head, "kingsley, are you being ashamed to wear the shirt?  are you ashamed of jesus?"  wow!

guess what i did?  i immediately put the soccer shirt back on my rack and then picked up my jesus did it t-shirt and put it on.  i thought that people wear all kinds of shirt to the gym repping whoever and whatever they want.  why shouldn't i do the same for the one that i love.

so nuf said.  i wore the shirt.  hey, rep him today!

"dear bunny
i do love u
i m not ashamed
to be a part of u
u r loving n giving
in a way i can never be
u r forgiving
u help me to see
when i need u
u r always there
never demanding
for anything back

but u hv lost ur fight
where did it go?
u buried it somewhere
even i don't know
please bunny dear
find it again
its so hard to live beside
someone without any fight"

Even though I ended it,
Even though I said we’re through,
There is still a part of me saying I should hold on to you.

You like another, as you should,
But the selfish part of me,
Is yelling, crying, shouting, “You’re mine! ”

I know that you were never mine,
That I don’t even cross your mind,
But that selfish voice in me wants you to myself.

It’s dumb how bad I want you,
Now that I can not have you,
Now that you don’t hold onto me anymore.

Its stupid how when I see you,
I know I don’t wish to be with you.
Yet when you’re gone I long for you all the same.

I can’t believe these crazy feelings,
I know your not the one for me,
But all the same I wish that you would focus just on me.

It’s horrible, these thought I have,
They make me sick at myself,
They make me want to cry and yell.

I’m such a selfish woman, to think you live only for me,
I just want us to be friends,
But I want me to be all you see.

I’m sorry, love, I really am,
I won’t get in your way,
But please, oh please, let us be friends,
Let our friendly bond stay.

And God, if you are there,
Which I often doubt you are,
Please don’t let these selfish feelings mess anything up,
For him, for her, or for me.

         This past week, we have heard about a couple of high profile people, Evander Holyfield and Ed McMahon, who are possibly loosing their homes to foreclosure.  One of them, Ed McMahon seems an unlikely candidate to loose his home to foreclosure...however, Ed explains his situation.  He says that he wasn't paying attention to how his money was managed by business people.  He also says some personal difficulties such as divorce and a broken neck decreased his finances and his ability to work.  He says that he worked hard all of his life.  Alot of people are in the same situation...maybe they can't even retire or pay for their child's college because of their financial situation and the possible loss of their home.

           Ed McMahon talks about the million, or so, people in the United States that are now facing foreclosure and says that he understands how people are working hard and due to their personal circumstances they could lose their homes.  Many of them, Ed says, didn't do anything wrong...maybe they lost their jobs or face medical, financial difficulties...but because of those situations...they are being forced out of their homes that they worked so hard to have.  He says he would like to tell them to find the best help available and to not give up. 

         Those explanations are real life for alot of people.  It has been recently estimated that 1percent of home mortgages have gone into foreclosure from January- March of this year alone; that is around 447,723 families.  Divorce, job downsizing, health issues and the economy are putting more and more people in jeparody of loosing their homes.  For most people, their home is one of their biggest assests or investments.  How does this concern you?   Let's take a look... 

          The problem is...as the economy worsens...more people loose their homes and that means that more homes are on the market.  Say you want to sell your home...how are you going to do that with all of the houses sitting empty on your street, in your neighborhood, or your town or state?  And if you are lucky enough to find someone who wants YOUR house....will they give you what you have to have financially for it?   Housing that is devalued further complicates the issue.  Propety values plummet in areas where there are many foreclosures.   When people owe more on their house then it is worth, because of the devaluing of it...they can't sell it without taking a huge financial loss; not to mention coming up with the money to move somewhere else.  The stress and the emotional toll it takes is devastating.  It is a bit like a chain reaction...because then their credit is damaged...and finding another place to live is difficult, relationships take a beating in times of financial crisis too.  Other people can be quite judgmental and often people feel ashamed of what they are going through.  The changes that a family has to go through in a foreclosure has a far reaching impact on schools, jobs, relationships, health and emotional well-being.  I heard a random number tossed about in a news report of between 7-8,000 people enter into foreclosure procedures a DAY!  Those numbers are staggering...and devastating to our economy.

         There are those who say...well, those people shouldn't have tried to live outside of their means.  That may be true in some circumstances; but, many of those in foreclosure had good paying jobs when they bought that home in good faith, they may have been in perfect health when they bought their home, the economy might have been healthier at the time of the home purchase.  Life is full of changes; foreclosure can happen to anyone!

My mother's going to be so ashamed that my kitchen looks like this and doubly ashamed that I'm showing it off on the internet. But, this is a diary of sorts and therefore deserves complete honesty so that in a year, when my kitchen looks like this, I can say, "Remember what it used to look like? How'd we live with that for so long?" Not that it's ever going to look like that, but a girl can dream, can't she?

Speaking of dreaming, I think I'll be having nightmares about what lurks behind walls and under the nasty floor. And man alive! Look at what the top of this cupboard looked like when Matthew pulled it off the wall:

I chose not to investigate the suspicious yellow streak across the back part. Could be paint, could be pollen. Whatever it is, it's going out in the shed to be a part of Matthew's workshop, because that's what these cupboards are for folks- workshops, basements, garages- very utilitarian they are. And cheap. And ugly. And oh yeah, NOT made for kitchens. The last owners really knew how to do it up, let me tell ya.

One of the joys/fears/anxiety-inducing charms about living in a 90 year old house is that you just never know what you're going to discover hiding in the most curious places. We're still waiting for our landslide of money from some depression era penny pincher to come falling out of the wall. Even though that didn't happen today, Matthew did discover that there is siding behind the drywall in the kitchen- on an interior wall. Strange. You can see it in the photo below. It's the little green square amidst the blazing yellow. It makes it impossible for him to run the water lines through the wall for the washer, so he's going through the floor instead. It's days like these that I'm thankful I married someone who knows how to plumb a house.

In the corner you can see the brick chimney and the hole near the top for the wood burning stove to vent. Don't know where the stove went, but that's alright with me since I prefer modern appliances. You can also see where the dirty cupboard was. And what was underneath the fridge. When we moved in, I refused to move it to see what was underneath. It was pretty disgusting in our last house, so my preferred method this time around was ignorance. Pure, blissful, ignorance. And I knew today would eventually come and ruin that ignorance, but it would be quickly followed by new flooring. Which will then be followed by more dirty floors. But it will be my dirt baby, all mine.

On a completely different note, I've received a ton of positive feedback on the ManMadeMarket website from Etsy shop owners. I had a hunch that this might be something that people would want, so I'm glad to see that inkling validated. I've posted two profiles so far and have several more waiting in the wings. I'd like to post more than just profiles and am brainstorming some ideas. Do you have anything that might work?

]]> http://chariti.wordpress.com/?p=35 Mon, 02 Jun 2008 11:05:02 +0000 Michael http://chariti.wordpress.com/?p=35 For I am not ashamed of the gospel for it is the power of God for all who believe, the Jew first and the Gentile. Romans 1:16

Why would he be ashamed? On some blogs, Christians behave just as poorly as their non-Christian counterparts. In fact, if one just notices word choice and tone, he would be hard pressed to distinguish the Christian from the non-Christian. That microcosm mirrors the society at large. The divorce rate among Christians continues to parallel the rate among non-Christians. As a school teacher, I find it hard to tell at times which child claims Christ by behavior alone. 

No doubt, Paul felt the sting of poorly behaved Christians just as much then as we do now. Yet he confidently proclaims that he is not ashamed of the gospel. How can this be? Shouldn’t he, shouldn’t we, bear the burden of our fellow brothers and sisters who malign the name of Christ through their behavior? That is not the point that Paul is making. 

Paul knows that the gospel has the power to change lives. Paul knew that one cannot act themselves into a relationship with God. When someone turns from self-effort and places their trust in the finished work of Christ, a new relationship is formed that enables that person to experience success. Paul knew this did not mean instant success, however. He cared for his flock and desired that they walk in a way that pleased God. His admonitions toward right behavior, though, were grounded in a relationship with Christ not in merely a list of do’s and don’ts. Do not confuse the gospel with people’s behavior. Regardless of how Christians malign Christ with their behavior, we cannot hide the gospel under a blanket, afraid of association. 

Miley is 15 and has grown into a responable young lady, the photo for Vanity Fair was meant to be a natural, beautiful,artistic photo of Miley and i love it, and as for her young fans (referring to her pre-teen and teenage fans )There gonna dress like trash with or without Miley doing something similar.
Miley apologized publicly about the photo too, she’s taking responability, just as she took full charge of any untrue rumors or other photo’s leaked to the public. I admire Miley and look up to her, but definately do not put her on a pedistal like many girls do, The portrait in a way showed that Miley is growing up, she takes the heat for her mistakes and doesn’t try to hide her flaws. Miley is someone to be more observed than judged. And as for Miley’s OTHER photo’s (the ’scandal’ pics ) She took the heat for those too, and says she cares deeply about her fans and wants to do what’s right by them, one thing to always remember is that she is human, and just because she claims to be trying to stay wholesome and true to her faith is no reason at all to point and make fun whenever she slips up.  And yes, if Miley becomes pregnant or poses for nude photo's i will no longer be a fan of hers, but for right now she says that she's trying to be solid in her Christian faith and praises the Lord whenever she recieves an award and yells "God Bless" to her fans every performance. I wasn't completely sure about what i thought about Miley (as i said a few posts back) But as long as Miley proclaims that she isn't ashamed of her faith in Christ than i'll happily be one in who-knows-how-many million fans.

That's all i have to say about that.

God Bless You Guys,

Sincerely,

Abby

Guess I won't be keeping my oldest home and teaching her here.. I am  just not to be trusted to see that she does the preplanned work that is laid out for her.

"To know my deed, 'twere best not to know myself"

Maybe it's because he's always right, kind of like a few other people in my life (You know who you are. After all, you're always right).

There's this thing called the Secret. We have a tendency to tell ourselves we think we can trust others with them, that they won't repeat it.

But, honestly, that's pretty much asking someone to do something you yourself are incapable of. After all, you told them, right?

Thus begins the vicious cycle of gossip. We think we can fight it, tell ourselves a fellow human is more decent or moral than us. But reality eventually catches up. Don't ever underestimate the idiocy of a human being.

Honestly, telling someone a Secret does nothing more than hurt them. In doing so, you place a burden you once had on them, and, therefore, part of the blame of the consequences resulting in the universal knowledge of the former Secret.

And then you think you have the right to beat that person upside the head. But, really, you're the only one to blame.

Keep your own damn mouth shut.

I can relate to his comment -- at least at times. Sometimes I cry with little or no provocation. At other times I do a pretty good job at "stuffing down" my feelings -- ALL feelings -- including feelings that lead to tears.

I've heard it said of food addicts that if we don't "Face Our Stuff" we'll (eventually) "Stuff Our Face". I've found this is VERY true in the sense that some of my most painful feelings have surfaced during periods of sane eating.

How vividly the lyrics of Simon And Garfunkel's song I Am A Rock captures the emotional pain that many of us addicts have tried to stuff down...

"I am a rock.
I am an island.
I've built walls --
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate...
I have no need of friendship;
friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain....
I touch no one and no one touches me...
And a rock feels no pain.
And an island never cries."

As a recovering co-dependent, feeling MY feelings should NOT be too difficult a task to handle since (in active co-dependency) I had NO problem feeling EVERYone else's feelings. But the reality has been that running from, denying and stuffing down ("stuffing" comes about with my ingesting EXCESS amounts of food) MY OWN feelings has been my pattern.

Many years ago I heard it explained that feelings, also referred to as "emotions" , are "energy-in-motion" (think "e-motions"). My understanding is that ingesting any any mood-or-mind-altering substance can (and does) "block" the processing of emotions. Hence the state of "emotional constipation" that many of us addicts experienced during out days of active addiction.

I don't know why, but feeling MY feelings CAN seem overwhelming. At times I've found myself wondering if I was going to "e-mote to death" by allowing myself to feel my feelings!

The Overeaters Anonymous brochure entitled, A Plan Of Eating: A Tool for Living - One Day at a Time (Copyright 1988, 2001, 2005 Overeaters Anonymous, Incorporated. All rights reserved.), addresses the connection between food and emotions with these words:

"For a compulsive overeater, eating is attached to emotions. We are never fully satisfied, no matter how much we eat, because we are eating for emotional reasons rather than physical reasons. We eat for excitement, love celebration, loneliness, escape, pleasure and comfort. We devour food to anesthetize ourselves. We eat out of anger, resentment, envy, jealousy, fear, pride, guilt and grief."

The good news is that, through working the 12 Steps, I've actually been able to discover/uncover whatever feelings I've been stuffing down with excess food. Through working the 12 Steps while working with other addicts I've found the strength to NOT act out with food in an addictve, compulsive or impulsive manner, despite feeling some intense and pretty crappy emotions!

Recovery doesn't magically protect me from feeling painful feelings. Recovery gives me the strength and courage to discover, feel and then move beyond my feelings without the need to swallow excessive amounts of food or avoid physical exercise. How does all of this work? One Day, One Step and One Feeling at a time!

The judge has now ruled that the children who were a part of the polygamy sect in Texas will now need to be sent to foster homes.

This story is so gut wrenching, as the children are so innocent and the women were somewhat niave as to what what taking place.

But does anyone have the right to take these children and now place them in a home that could easily be more dangerous and harmful to these innocent children?

It is scheduled that on Monday the children will have their DNA taken to determine who they belong to, this could take several months in establishing the DNA.

In the meantime in this country we have young girls and guys who are freely having sexual relations, No One gets involved, many of the young girls will abort the babies and no one really will be the wiser.

So why is it that this group has gained so much attention?

Regardless if it is a Religious Sect or just today's teenagers out of control, the Moral picture of right and wrong needs to be established, both are in the wrong, but only one is being centered out.

How do you all feel?  Please view the video...

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/index.php?cl=7473394

There is no easy way to say this, but Im afraid Im very ashamed of myself at the moment. I have commited a sin and turned my back on the very thing i said i said i wont do. I got a lottery ticket. Now before you go, ahhhh, always knew you couldnt do it..stay away that is...let me tell you something. |I was doing pretty well until my friend told me that the Euromillion jackpot was nearly 44 million this friday and if  i was getting 'our' ticket. You see, awhile back before I decided to give my lottery spending to trust God completely, I had a dream where I saw these bunch of numbers and won 36 million! And ever since I told my friend about it, we would always get a ticket every time the jackpot went over 36 million, and since i hadnt told her of my latest 'trust' commitments, she naturally assumed id be getting a ticket as always, and i didnt have the guts or heart to turn her or my vision down.

so hands down Im guilty, of a gross christain misconduct. I said that I would take Christ at his word to care for me and deliver all my needs if I seek him first and what do I do at the first sign of temptation? I give in. So easily, so freely, without much resistance! Surely I could have done better! I console myself with the fact that there is a million in one chance that I'll even win something and a ten billion to one, that it would even be the amount seen in my dream. ( Ive had a few dreams of mines that came true in the past - but it doesnt have to be this one)  I also reassure myself that I will do worlds of good with the money if I do win. But I shouldnt even have bought the ticket in the first place. Now i feel all churned up and full of sadness inside. What kind of christain will i make if i cant learn to stop giving in to temptation so easily?

I will let you know how it goes.

 I hope you have a good weekend. Im off to see my inlaws till sunday while praying that I dont give in to temptation to say whats really on my mind while Im there! As you can see, Christ still have loads of work to do on me!