Both Genesis Park and its sister site are the very best examples of just how creationists don’t have a single clue to what a dinosaur or its contemporary really look like and how they are really structurally built based on modern studies on their bone structure. Admittedly, in the past, I would get upset and cry over the artwork and artifacts that allegedly depict dinosaurs as if they are there to destroy my long held belief that dinosaurs lived and died long before humans came along. Yet, I knew all along that looks can be highly deceiving. Creationists deceptively show images and artifacts depicting monster-like mythical creatures they claimed to be real, authentic dinosaurs because of their dinosaur-like shape and compare them to various conceptions of dinosaur all made artisans who never for once saw a live dinosaur in hopes of matching the monster with an artist’s conception of the dinosaur. The problem with this flawed logic is that no two conceptions are alike. Each conception of a dinosaur completely differs from the other. How do they know if that’s what the monster really looks like? Answer: They don’t. Other than birds, no one, prehistoric, ancient, and modern, has ever saw a living dinosaur. What they made is all just conceptions of what the dinosaur might have looked like when they were alive based on what scientists have unearthed, studied, and learned about. These conceptions may, in all cases, be completely inaccurate and outdated even by a few years as more fossil discoveries are made that cause scientists to rethink what they believed dinosaurs may have looked like in the past. Therefore, what creationists do to prove their fallacy, by comparing alleged ancient artifacts with modern conceptions of dinosaurs all made by 20^th century artists, is completely unreliable and totally worthless. Especially since these alleged artifacts they show do not resemble any dinosaur and Mesozoic contemporary whatsoever.

Here is a blogroll containing parts of my rebuttal essays to the claims put on by Woetzel. It's not finished yet, but still it has lots of stuff to keep you all informed of what Woetzel has on his site. I'll update this post when I have another part of the essay completed and posted on my sister site.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Continued from previous post..

Next, the sixth, seventh, and eight hoaxes is claimed to depict alleged dinosaur figurines from China shown in comparison with Oviraptor and Saurolophus, two Cretaceous dinosaurs that lived in what is now Asia and an alleged "Late Eastern Zhou Sauropod ornamental box" that's alleged to depict a sauropod with a tridactyl foot, a long neck, and a head resembling a Brachiosaur. In Woetzel's eyes, "this depiction is compelling." No, it isn't, Woetzel.

First off, the first artifact is not a dinosaur figurine, but a wingless male griffin (also known as 'alce' or 'keythong') figurine Woetzel is presenting and wrongfully comparing to Oviraptor which is a bipedal dinosaur with possible feathers, a bird-like body, and one solid crest on its head.

In the second artifact, the word "Fang Jian" is not the name of the alleged dinosaur. "Fang Jian" actually means "room" in Chinese and the so-called ornamental box is actually a ritual water (Jian) vessel, similar to this one here, used to hold water used to perform purification rituals. There is supposed to be a lid on that thing, but the lid is missing in the photo. This vessel along with other Eastern Zhou artifacts are often decorated with engraved inscriptions that commemorate important events. The animals on each side of the vessel are not sauropods, but are in fact semi-crouching, mythical dragon-like, cat creatures partially couching down as if they are ready to pounce on any demon that tried to poison the water inside the vessel. Look how these mythical dragon-like felines on all sides of the vessel are very similar to this feline, this feline, and this feline all dating to the same period the vessel is dated to. All of them depict mythical cat-like beasts, some shown in a semi-crouching position. In reality, Sauropods don't have ribbon-type, feline-type bodies and can't crouch the way a cat does. Also, sauropods don't have tridactyl feet. They have 5 toes on each elephantine hind foot with 3-2 claws on each of them and toeless, one-clawed fore feet are arranged in a backwards "C" pattern. And finally, the head look nothing like any sauropod known, not even a brachiosaur. A cat maybe, but definitely not a brachiosaur.

The third artifact is claimed to have "relief lines in a scale-like pattern, a broad beak, a dermal frill, and a headcrest that is strikingly like the dinosaur Saurolophus." No, the statue is not of Saurolophus, but of a mythical lion-like animal (possibly a chimera) with only 2 limbs, each with four toes, a shorter tail, pointed tooth showing on each side of its jaws, and a lion-like head with pointed ears. Its scale pattern is totally different than the scale patterns of Saurolophus who has 4 limbs, 3 toes on each tridactyl hind feet, mitten-like 4-fingered hands, bony crest, no mammalian ears, duck-like beak, narrow horse-like head, rows and rows of teeth for chewing plants, longer, stiffened tail for balance, and no one knows whether Saurolophus had a dermal frill on its back or not. Saurolophus has a body structure far different than that of the stature and can walk on mostly 4 legs while other times walk on two. What is shown is another example of creationists making false comparisons with a dinosaur image made by an artist who never saw a live dinosaur other than a bird. In the warped reasoning, if an artifact or text carries a shape or a description that's similar to an artist conception of a any dinosaur no matter how outdated and erroneous it is, then its a match...or is it? Leave it to the creationists to distort mythology and relics and create forgeries and hoaxes to make it be what they want while throwing out parts of mythology that debunks their idiocy.

Next comes the ninth and tenth hoaxes that are not exactly hoaxes but vases that depict a scene from Greek Mythology depicting Hercules slaying a sea monster named Ketos to save Hesione from being devoured.

The first vase, known as the Hesione vase, depicts Heracles rescuing and helping Hesione kill off Ketos. This vase is on the front cover of Adrienne Mayor's The First Fossil Hunters: Paleontology in Greek and Roman Times. What is very unique about this vase is that the vase depicts Ketos as a skull of an animal sticking out from a rock wall. The skull is claimed by Woetzel to be a head of a dinosaur that "forced [Science News] to concede the amazingly realistic dinosaurian depiction.." to "..conclude that the paintings on this unusual vase simply prove that ancient people dug fossils, too." Sorry, Woetzel, the head looks nothing like a " realistic dinosaurian depiction" but, instead, a realistic mammalian depiction that may resemble a prehistoric deer or giraffe from the Miocene Epoch.

In a creationists' eyes, if animals like a seal or an elephant is real, then the mythical animal, shown in the same image alongside such animals must be real, never mind the complete lack of physical evidence for the existence of such creatures. The second vase is claimed to be a Carian urn that Woetzel claims to depict a Mosasaur being seen alongside seal, an octopus, and a dolphin. The sea creature is described to have thick jaws, big teeth, large eyes, and positioning of the flippers which Woetzel claims to match a Mosasaurus skeleton very well. Sorry, Woetzel, it don't. The monster in the "urn," which is actually a Greek vase, is in fact Ketos again, seen in the exact same situation also depicted on the famous Hesione vase with the difference of having a skull sticking out of the rock wall while the other vase shows Ketos, possibly based on a shark, in full "flesh and blood" view. Ketos in the second vase has only 2 limbs, a snaky body, gill slits, a long, rigged, dermal fin, a crest on its head, dorsal fins, and a fish-like tail. Mosasaurs have in fact none of these things.

According to Woetzel, "Some mosasaurus species also had a narrow cranial crest behind the eye that may have had a fin attached the way it is depicted on the Carian urn." Wrong Woetzel, Mosasaurs do not in fact have such fins and crests. Although they are closely related to snakes and monitor lizards, none of the Mosasaurs have just 2 limbs, wavy serpentine bodies, additional fins, fish-like tail, gills, or crests on the back of their heads like Ketos had. This is one of the best examples of Woetzel never getting his knowledge on dinosaurs and other prehistoric life right no matter what.

Woetzel then invented a story about a former lawyer named Mario Tolone Azzariti, who is an archaeologist sent to Carlia (a country in Italy) to investigate reports of discoveries made of hundreds of ancient artifacts which includes alleged "dinosaurian representations" coming from the pre-Greek civilization of Calabria dated to be 3,000 years old. Hoax Artifacts even claims,

"Tolone Azzariti, had developed a wide knowledge of classical cultures from years of study in the historical libraries and in the National archaeological Museum of Naples, but it had never seen objects of this character, not from the age of the Greeks, nor Phonecians or Roman...."

Here, Dian Ardiyansah, the possible webmaster behind Hoax Artifacts, are making it as if Azzariti discovered remnants of an advanced civilization with styles, culture, and technology way beyond time, similar to what is seen in pulp fiction novels. But no, that's not what Azzariti really saw. The claim about such discoveries made in Italy is all the way false. According to this article (in Italian), what Azzariti did found in reality was ancient tombs that are found to be vandalized. While the rich put the ashes of their loved ones in the urns and buried them in the tombs, the poor people in turn broke into the tombs, stole the urns, and empty them of their ashes so they can cook their meals in them before putting ashes back into the urns and then back into the tomb. The artifacts found in the tomb are axes and stone weapons and zoomorphing artifacts that represent sheep and goats that the pre-hellenistic people have highly prized for their skins, meat, milk, sacrifise, and work. These artifacts are dated to the time when the early tribes of Calabria transformed themselves from a nomadic group to agricultural farmers that formed civilizations that dotted the region about 3,500 BC/BCE.

Both Genesis Park and Hoax Artifacts show the very best example of how creationists don't have a single clue to what a dinosaur or its contemporary really look like and how they are really structurally built based on modern studies on their bone structure. Admittedly, in the past, I would get upset and cry over the artwork and artifacts that allegedly depict dinosaurs as if they are there to destroy my long held belief that dinosaurs lived and died long before humans came along. Yet, I knew all along that looks can be highly deceiving. Creationists deceptively show images and artifacts depicting monster-like mythical creatures they claimed to be real, authentic dinosaurs because of their dinosaur-like shape and compare them to various conceptions of dinosaur all made artisans who never for once saw a live dinosaur in hopes of matching the monster with an artist's conception of the dinosaur. The problem with this flawed logic is that no two conceptions are alike. Each conception of a dinosaur completely differs from the other. How do they know if that's what the monster really looks like? Answer: They don't. Other than birds, no one, prehistoric, ancient, and modern, has ever saw a living dinosaur. What they made is all just conceptions of what the dinosaur might have looked like when they were alive based on what scientists have unearthed, studied, and learned about. These conceptions may, in all cases, be completely inaccurate and outdated even by a few years as more fossil discoveries are made that cause scientists to rethink what they believed dinosaurs may have looked like in the past. Therefore, what creationists do to prove their fallacy, by comparing alleged ancient artifacts with modern conceptions of dinosaurs all made by 20^th century artists, is completely unreliable and totally worthless. Especially since these alleged artifacts they show do not resemble any dinosaur and Mesozoic contemporary whatsoever.

Now the eleventh and twelfth hoaxes shows a terracotta figurine and a piece of broken pottery depicting what Woetzel claims to be a "clear" representation of a Stegosaurus because to Woetzel, the small 18cm long figurine is

"...shaped remarkably like a dinosaur with plates on its back. The plates are triangular, and continue along the back until reaching the tail. In the view from above [in the right photo] the object reveals a strange curving of the plates, as if the animal had been represented in motion on the land. The legs are large and awkward, as if carrying great weight, not at all like those of a lizard."

The figurine and the pottery piece represents not a dang thing of what Woetzel claims. In fact, the figurine and the pottery piece, which doesn't look broken, looks a lot like a modern toy one can make at home or in shop class in school, with real stumpy legs, a neck and upper back that's bare of plates and a row of pointed spikes streching from just its middle back and tail. Stegosaurus is full-erect quadruped dinosaur with a double row of triangular shaped plates that are arrange in a zig-zag pattern and stretches all the way from neck to tail and are attached to the skin, not to the bone. While the figurine completely lack spikes at the tail tip, Stegosaurus bears 4 spikes that can be used as a formidable weapon against its enemies. It has a bony pouch underneath its throat to protect it from being bitten by the likes of Ceratosaurus and a very narrow pointed skull with a brain as big as a walnut and a beak in front of its mouth. Apparently the toy and the plaque has none of those features. Obviously, the 2 hoaxes are all done up out of complete ignorance of the fact that the remains of Stegosaurus have only been found in North America and nowhere else.

Continued Next Post...

From the slate.com article:
How did archaeologists find half a million objects at one site?

Archaeologists announced on Wednesday that they had unearthed George Washington's boyhood home at a site not far from Fredericksburg, Va. Over the course of a seven-year excavation, the researchers found more than 500,000 artifacts. How can there be half a million artifacts at one site?

Almost everything you find counts as an artifact, as long as it was made or impacted by people. The objects comprise more than just materials from George Washington's home; archaeologists excavated a full acre of land, and the items they collected spanned 10,000 years of history—from rocks used to sharpen prehistoric stone tools to Civil War-era buttons. The collection does include an expensive tea set thought to be owned by the Washingtons and a pipe bearing a Masonic crest, but most of the objects are far more mundane, like nails, broken glass, or cracked egg shells. The only artifacts that weren't removed from the site are remnants of old buildings—either architectural fragments that are still intact or foundation stones that were weighed and left at the site.

Read the full article here.

This place is called Grotto of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan. The area is a replica of the famed Lourdes Grotto in France. It is told that matriarch and owner of the place had cancer in the 1960s. And she had decided to go to the Lourdes Grotto to seek help for her condition. Apparently she did receive a miracle, and was free of the disease. Since then, she vowed to put up a similar place. And for many years, many Filipinos have visited the place as pilgrims, and have even claimed miracles as well because of the healing water that gushes out from the place. Even at the main grotto site, one can see hundreds of crutches left behind by people who apparently can now walk well.

The place particularly during Good Friday is teeming with people. They do their Holy Week obligation by praying the Stations of the Cross passing through all 14 stations with life size statues. And there is the Rosary Hill where one can have a face to face encounter with the figure of Christ himself. And in this place, one can be overwhelmed by the majesty of its still unfinished church. As one walks the hilly paths under the heat of the sun, there is undeniable sense of the passion for religiosity and faith, a mark distinctive to many Filipinos.

In an online newspaper called The Spectrum, which is the online version of a Southern Utah printed paper, there was an article by Byron Loosle titled Archaeological Artifacts: Grandfather Clause or Illegal Action? In this article, Loosle summarizes very well the problem with looting artifacts from public lands and archaeological sites in general. While it's legal in the United States to remove artifacts from private lands (assuming one has the landowner's permission), it is actually a crime to pick up even projectile points (a.k.a. arrowheads) from the surface when on public lands like National Parks.

Loosle makes a couple of quick points an analogies that I think are effective:

the impact of any type of collecting can be crippling to science and research efforts. In order to piece together the big picture and gain a firm understanding of the history of prehistoric cultures, scientists rely not only on studying the artifacts themselves, but the locations in which they lie.

A high percentage of sites in the Great Basin, for example, are the result of transient hunting and gathering activities that occurred over about 10,000 years. Many of these transient hunting sites are small and represent only temporary use. Even the larger sites usually show only surface or very shallow deposits. These variables make extracting information from sites very difficult.

Like clothes and hairstyles, arrowhead styles changed through time. Scientists rely on these markers to date a site. The type of stone used for the point can help us understand where people had traveled, and artifact placement shows where activities occurred in the past. Just one visit from an enthusiastic collector can virtually destroy the information potential of a small site, just as repeated visits to more substantial sites leaves devastating results.

Actually, that's a relatively large portion of the article, which is very short, but these types of internet articles seem to disappear after a few months or even weeks and Loosle's words are worth repeating. I hope he doesn't mind my liberal interpretation of "fair use" with this quote.

In spite of the lucidity and clarity of Loosle's remarks, there was a single comment at the time I wrote this by someone upset that "BLM people" would expect him to just leave an arrowhead on the ground where he sees it. The commenter makes several ignorant remarks about proving he didn't make it himself or that he found it on public lands, etc., missing completely Loosle's main points.

Interestingly enough, I empathize -as I'm sure most archaeologists and cultural resource managers do- with the commenter's motivation to pick up and keep an "arrowhead." But Loosle wasn't speaking to the casual hiker that spots a projectile point on the surface along a trail. Indeed, he notes that "approximately 90 percent of the Anasazi structural sites in Washington County have been damaged by illicit digging, with percentages just as high for sites compromised by surface collection activities in Beaver and Iron counties."

These damages aren't done by people walking along and spotting arrowheads. These are people who are actively digging and looking for artifacts with an intent to remove cultural resources from lands shared by us all. These people are thieves and they're stealing from me, you and even the commentor to Loosle's article. They're making a profit at the expense of us ever gaining contextual knowledge which could help create a more complete understanding of our cutural heritages.

Pedro: Why?

Chan: Counterfeit.

Pedro: Counterfeit?

Chan: Yes. They became aware that many supposedly  authentic artifacts in museums around the world were, in fact, copies.

Pedro: How did they find that out? 

One day Green Beebe noticed a brightly colored beach ball floating above Smoky, and flew up to see. "Now it might not seem very interesting, a beach ball," Green acknowledges. "Except this beach ball was made by Philip Linden in April 2002 before SL was even launched."...

Now that's not bad, something surviving that long (at least in some form; Ham speculates that it may simply be a copy of a long-gone item). The odds are that there are other things out there, lost somewhere in the vastness of What Philip (and many others) Hath Wrought. But how would you be able to tell unless you started right-clicking on everything you see and checking properties?

Someone needs to build a museum to house this forlorn little beach ball. It should be placed on the Metanational Register of Historic Landmarks. It should be preserved somehow!

(By the way, Ham, who was the owner listed on the thing?)

I'll be honest, this set does nothing for me. It's visually unappealing and appears to be good only for watering down the market of memorabilia cards.  It's so boring to me I cannot think of a single creative thing to say about it.  Plus, it's a 100 card set with 43 pages of checklist and 7 parallel sets. If that sounds enticing to you, it's scheduled for release on Oct 22.

Packs have a SRP of $9.99, and I've found boxes available for presale on the internet from $100-$120.

Kuya Andrew, Migs, Dom, and I met up this afternoon to visit Museo Dabawenyo. It has been formally inaugurated but i has been open to the public for quite some time.

The first floor is home to Indigenous Peoples' Gallery and the Moro Peoples' Gallery where artifacts and photos of the 5 Davao tribes are showcased.

It also showcased the colorful arts, culture, and way of living of the people of Davao. The Moro Peoples' gallery was set against a nice mural by the Fine Arts students of a local college. The mural shows an idyllic beach side community in Davao.

In the second floor is the Memorabilia Gallery which houses artifacts and information from various points of Davao City's history.

My favorite part of the museum was the Nanay Soling Duterte Hall Modern Art Gallery. It contained interesting pieces of art that portrayed the different facets of Davao life and celebrated the tri-people culture of Davao. Tri-people pertains to the three groups of Davaoeños which have been living and working harmoniously: the Indigenous Peoples, the Christians, and the Muslims.

The gallery also contained my favorite piece in the gallery, a very colorful, eye-catching, piece of art called Sarimanok:

It was a short and brief tour as the museum still lacks some artifacts. But it was an enjoyable tour. I wish we could have a bigger museum with more artifacts, paintings, and other pieces of culture and history.

I shall try to convince my aunts to donate some artifacts and old photos we own. :)

Museo Dabawenyo is located along Pichon Street (formerly Magallanes Street) in Davao City. It is open Tuesdays to Sundays, 9 am - 6 pm. The entrance is FREE!!!

The device encountered its 1st power-up today. The screen protector had a greenish hue to it and it affected the image representation (to the end-viewer), especially in the night. However, the greenish tint isn't that apparent in bright daylight. The mini-tripod is completely useless, i.e. the ball-&-socket joint can never be tightened fully. That, coupled with the extreme left position of the FX520's tripod receptacle, meant that I'm not gonna use this mini-tripod anymore (I dun wan this camera to go off-balance & topple over).

So much for low-quality screen protector and lack-lustre mini-tripod :-(

The image quality isn't that fantastic either, the famous "noise issue" of the Panasonic sensor is beginning to haunt me. I went to my friend's house-warming and the initial few shots (in daylight), exhibit artifacts that fall slightly below my expected standards, as you can see from the photos below (the SLK is NOT mine):

The only thing cool is the auto-subject-tracking, which really works. Other than that, I guess I've made a decision and should by all means, stand by it. Who knows, this camera may grow on me yet...

Inspiration struck, and I found a journal that my dad had given me...blank unlined pages...and a pen. I had left them, wrapped, in my closet. I had been meaning to start a quote journal. So here it is! I have not started it yet, but I will soon.

This evening I went looking for Native American artifacts. We didn't find any, but we did find an AMAZING place. A stream, worn, and weathered rocks, so beautiful. Deep, carved pools. Next time we go there I'm taking my camera.

How to preserve and collect assets that may be invisible to untrained eyes.

Professionals traditionally provide information to assist families in dealing with the processes of handling valuables left by the deceased. Today that role is more critical than ever, because modern technology has made it harder to ascertain the existence and whereabouts of significant assets and artifacts.

Tragically, families and heirs – specifically those who execute estates – often fail to realize the legal and financial scope and impact of computers, digital devices, Internet connectivity, online banking, sophisticated cell phone technology, and the popularity of Web-based transactions. One symptom of that disturbing lack of insight and oversight is a meteoric rise in the amount of unclaimed assets held by State treasuries.

Even many professionals who are hired to settle estates are stuck in the 20^th century – when most of them were educated and trained – but these days their methods may be downright outdated and old-fashioned. They may examine, for example, past tax returns to ferret out the total financial worth of an estate. But accounts that are non-interest bearing, stocks that have not been traded within a particular tax year, frequent flier miles, timeshares, and even entire Internet-based businesses are just a few of the assets that are missed by someone relying only on conventional documents. Tax returns and other forms of paperwork found in file cabinets, safes, or safety deposit boxes can – and often do – only represent a fraction of the assets left behind.

Internet companies and even the majority of “brick and mortar” banks, brokerage firms, insurance agencies, retirement trusts, credit card issuers, and other fiduciary product providers all encourage clients and customers to use email or Web site access to view and store statements, pay bills, and perform other transactions. Many offer no other non-electronic options. But the fact is that today’s average consumer not only doesn’t mind doing business online, we actually prefer virtual banking and shopping. The world, it seems, has gone electric – and it is time for those who deal with estates to catch up and catch on to the powerful trend and acknowledge what it means to them and to the loved ones of the recently deceased.

· In 1998 the Pew Research Center reported that only 10 million Americans conducting banking transactions over their computers. Nowadays approximately that many people do banking over cell phones alone.

· The Aite Group, a leading independent research and advisory firm whose clients include major credit card companies and leading banks, estimates that the number of consumers using cell phones for banking will reach 35 million by the end of this decade.

· According to a survey conducted by Braun Research and the Tarheel State’s own Charlotte-based Bank of America, 80 percent of Americans now say they shop online and 65 percent do their banking over the Internet

“Digital artifacts,” Wayne Hancock explains, “can be all sorts of things. Bank accounts, social security numbers, automatic bank withdrawals, insurance policies, investment accounts, time shares, frequent flyer miles, intellectual property and copyrighted material, purchased music, pictures, and a huge variety of other items or data are commonly stored electronically on DVDs, laptops, cell phones, palm pilots, or other devices.”

Hancock is a Certified Hacking Forensic Investigator (CHFI) and CEO of Executor Services ( http://www.executorservices.com ), a Raleigh-based firm that specializes in digital artifact collection. By combining expertise in digital and computer forensics with a knowledge of estate law and Internet-based or E-commerce, Hancock helps Executors, Executrix, and personal representatives locate digital assets without compromising safety, security, privacy, or fiduciary responsibility.

As Hancock puts it, “With more and more companies moving away from paper receipts, statements and transactions, digital data falls into a black hole when a person dies.”

Examining a computer or other digital device may also reveal other items that have no financial relevance but are of incalculable value to heirs. Personal photos, videos, sound recordings, manuscripts, letters to loved ones, and family histories and genealogical information are often stored and saved exclusively on computer drives and through other electronic means. Lose those and there is no backup, no photocopy, no microfilm or scrapbook or paper version of the assets. They are lost forever, without a trace.

Digital assets and artifacts may be invisible to the naked eye, and even when they are readily viewable, gathering them can be a tricky process. Attempting to access data without professional expertise can actually backfire and result in its destruction, because digital information is subject to light sensitivity, heat, magnetic fields, static charges, moisture, and other types of physical contamination or corruption.

“Following the protocols defined specifically for electronic evidence collection,” says Hancock, “we carefully retrieve assets in a controlled and predictably secure environment.” He adds a warning for novices who might be tempted to conduct this kind of forensics on their own. “The simple act of turning on a device may be all it takes to destroy valuable information needed by the estate.”

Professionals like Hancock examine computers and other digital devices – even looking at deleted files that can be retrieved by those with appropriate skills – and then they create a comprehensive and confidential report for their clients. Hancock summarizes the nature of this important work rather eloquently. “The issue is this,” he says. “Not looking certainly means it will be lost forever. It is kind of like a footprint on a beach. My job is to follow the trail before it gets washed away by the tide and hopefully discover buried treasures.”

Checking a computer or other digital device is no longer a casual option or novel idea; it is a professional necessity and a profound responsibility. Digital retrieval is an essential component and a critical first step in the process of executing an estate. Fortunately, the public now has access to the services of licensed and certified professionals bound by ethical and legal guidelines and mandates. Professionals involved in Estate Administration can advise families of this modern digital universe reality, while helping them to understand the potential for problems and the availability of trustworthy and reliable solutions.

Woetzel first mentions about the discovery of a pachycephalosaurid known as Dracorex Hogwartsia and how its head bears an uncanny resemblance to a head of a dragon. Note how he incorrectly claims that Dracorex was named because of its "dragon-like horns and teeth" while actually it was named because of the head that looks like a dragon, not the horns and the teeth. Besides Dracorex didn't really have dragon teeth at all. Its teeth is leaf-shaped and suitable for eating plants. Note how his remarks about "..unlike other members of the pachycephalosaur family, which have domed foreheads, this one is flat-headed." implying he's unaware of other pachycephalosaurs that have flat-heads such as Homalocephale for instance. Lately Paleontologist Jack Horner have suggested that Dracorex is really a juvenile version of either Pachycephalosaurus or Stygimoloch because the horns and the dome were not yet fully well developed. But Paleontologist Robert Bakker disagrees.

All fabrications presented on this page are mostly taken from Paul Taylor's The Great Dinosaur Mystery and the Bible which contains a collection of fabrications falsely promoted as evidence of people meeting up with live non-avian dinosaurs that doesn't explain why are there no human fossils found alongside dinosaur fossils even if these are what creationists claim they are. All fabrications are the work of creationists who did it to deceive their followers into believing all their lies about humans and dinosaurs living at the same time. These are all false evidences made to look real, but appearances can be highly deceiving. When I first look at those claims, I knew off the bat that the supposed descriptions that creationists claim to describe dinosaurs don't really describe dinosaurs at all. Much of the descriptions is what dinosaurs never in fact have, but was put there by creationists who not only fabricate dragon legends, but also create reptilian/dragon stereotypes to falsely look like dinosaurs to prove their pointless idiocy and give dinosaurology a bad name.

The first story is a direct fabrication of the story of Gilgamesh and his battle with a humanoid demon named Humbaba who was slain by Gilgamesh at the urging of his colleague, Enkidu while out cutting down trees for building projects. The next part Woetzel mentions is the apocryphal tale of Daniel who killed a dragon according to the Apocryphal book Daniel, Bel, and the Dragon (or Snake according to one translation of the Bible). Daniel likely killed a large python snake by feeding it a cake filled with hair, pitch, and fat that caused the snake to burst open just like a anaconda belly bursts open when it tried to eat a crocodile that's struggling to claw its way out of the snake's belly. The second thing he briefly mentions is the claim about Alexander the Great shown to a cave filled with "great hissing monsters." But Alexander saw only one monster. According to the non-fabricated version of the tale, Alexander the Great and his army only saw one serpentine dragon, blowing, hissing, and popping only its head out of the cave from time to time whenever an army passes by. The serpent is said to measure about 75 cubits (120 feet) long and has huge eyes the size and shape of a Macedonian shield. No dinosaur eyes were ever that big, nor did they have serpentine bodies. In between them, Woetzel states that finding fossil remains of dinosaurs may have contribute to the stories of dragons and monsters such as the half lion, half eagle griffin which believed to be inspired by Scythian travelers who discovered bones and fossils of Protoceratops in Mongolia and thought of them as skeletal remains of griffins. According to Woetzel,

"In fact, some scholars think that the Greek historian Herodotus was referring to fossilized dinosaur skeletons and eggs when he described griffins guarding nests in central Asia."

That's only half-truth. Herodotus was only referring to a poem made by a storyteller named Aristeas who is said to wrote a fictional tale about his encounter with the one-eyed people of Arimaspi and their battle with the griffins for their gold. Herodotus never really knew about the Protoceratops fossils found in Mongolia. In the next paragraph, Woetzel claims,

"The Chinese have many stories of dragons. Some of their ornamental pictures of dragons are shaped remarkably like dinosaurs. Marco Polo reported in 1271 that on special occasions the royal chariot was pulled by dragons and in 1611 the emperor appointed the post of a 'Royal Dragon Feeder.'"

These are direct fabrications of accounts taken from The Chinese Classics which tells about a pair of dragons that flown from the heavens down to earth and were tamed and gentled by a man named Liu lei who was taught by a family of dragon tamers and eventually became known as the Dragon Ruler and Feeder for Emperor Kung Jia who entrusted Liu with 4 dragons to take care of and give them water and meat for them to eat and drink. When the dragons pulled the Emperor's chariot, they carried the Emperor in the air among the clouds as well as on the surface of the water and is even said to pull chariots for the gods. Plus the claim about Marco Polo making reports about the Emperor's chariot being pulled by dragons in 1271 is totally false. 1271 is the year Marco Polo, who was 17 year old at that time, was just starting off on his journey to see the great emperor in person for the very first time. The dragons Kublai Khan had and mentioned by Marco were just carved, gilded images of dragons hanging all over the walls of the emperor's palace. The next part made claims of the dragon's blood being used for medicine and their eggs highly prized by the families that may have raised Chinese crocodiles and alligators for pets and sometimes for food in reality. They must have thought of them as dragons because of their vicious appearance and the way they twist their bodies about. Look how Woetzel is tricking the viewers into thinking that the dragon in the Chinese zodiac could be a dinosaur,

"It is interesting that the twelve signs of the Chinese zodiac are all animals - eleven of which are still alive today. But is the twelfth, the dragon, merely a legend or is it based on a real animal - the dinosaur?"

No, not a dinosaur, but a legend. In fact, the dragon of the zodiac looks nothing like a dinosaur at all. The dragon, a limbless water serpentine creature, the only mythical animal in the zodiac, associates strongly with positive symbolism such as strength, health, harmony, and good luck. In fact the ancient Chinese would often put dragons above the doors and on rooftops to drive off evil spirits from the homes of people living there. Dragons in Ancient China were worshiped as gods and were hold in the highest esteem. Dragons in Chinese mythology is said to create storms, change into any form, and serve as loyal servants and companions for the gods. They have serpentine bodies, deer-like antlers, 4 limbs, wolf-like heads, demon eyes, carp scales, beards, and eagle claws just to name a few of the features the dragon has. Thus, the dragons of China are anything but a dinosaur.

And they certainly never look like the Azure Dragon figurines Woetzel displays photos of and falsely brand as dinosaurs in the next part of his crackpot essay. Also known as The Azure Dragon of the East, this wingless dragon serves as one of the four symbols of the Chinese constellations and represents East and the spring season. Woetzel, like all creationists, would present figurines that in no way resemble dinosaurs, yet are presented under a false pretense that if it looks like a dinosaur, then it must be a dinosaur, never mind the features that clearly shown that it's not. Then turn around and lie to their followers about them, claiming that a few handfuls of evolutionists like Carl Sagan have went and seen the images, acknowledge them to accurately resemble dinosaurs, and begin to wonder how such realistic depictions could have been made. The real answer is: they couldn't. None of the figurines are depicted accurately to resemble any dinosaur, pterosaur, and Mesozoic marine reptile whatsoever. Instead they're depicted as modern animals like dogs, wolves, lions, crocodiles and snakes.

Woetzel mentions sightings of sea monsters made over the years by Scandinavians that may have been based on sightings of seals, whales, sharks, and giant squid. The sailors would see those animals and make up exaggerated version of the tales that became part of Norse Mythology based on those sightings to keep people interested and entertained. Woetzel even claims that the vikings had dragon heads attached to the front of their ships to scare away sea monsters claimed to have infest the seas over a thousand years ago. These longships, called Drekkars, have dragon heads on front of the ships to ward off sea monsters of Norse mythology that are anything but dinosaurs. It is likely, however, that the dragon heads are also there to instill fear and terror in the hearts of the people they attacked. The image depicting a ship seeing a sea monster blowing water from its jaws may have been based on an alleged sighting of a zeuglodon, serpentine whales thought to be extinct 37 million years ago, but became a subject of various alleged sightings made by sailors over the years that claimed to have seen such whales swimming nearby their ships. However, no proof of such sightings exist and it is likely these reports are either made up or exaggerated versions of whale, dolphins, shark, seal, and squid sightings. In no way do these sea monsters resemble dinosaurs and their contemporaries.

More fabrications are mentioned including the St. George and the Dragon fabrication falsely depicting St. George killing a Baryonyx that's been exploited as a dragon stereotype to fit it into the tale while throwing out the fact that the actual dragon, in the real version of the story, had either bat-or bird-like wings, wolf-like ears, multiple horns on its head, poisonous breath, and is shown to be small with either 2 or 4 limbs sticking out of its body unlike the real Baryonyx that has no wings, no wolf-like ears, is fully bipedal, and has a straight neck and a crocodile head with one small spike near its eyes. Thus, making the notion of St. George killing a Baryonyx clearly false. Another fabrication claims (misspellings included),

"Dragons were even described in reputable zoological treatises published during the Middle Ages. For example, the great Swiss naturalist and medical doctor Konrad Gesner published a four-volume encyclopedia from 1516-1565 entitled Historiae Animalium. He mentioned dragons as 'very rare but still living creatures.'"

Also described in Conrad Gessner's Historiae Animalium (The History of Animals) as "living creatures" are unicorns, basilisk, griffins, sea serpents, and other fantasy creatures which Woetzel fails to mention along with references to dragons being compared with flying snakes and the illustrations in the book that resembles a dragon a scientist by the name Ulysses Aldrovandus is alleged to have seen and made into a mounted skeleton for a museum somewhere (his private collection actually). Both versions of the dragons look nothing like dinosaurs and their contemporaries at all, but a winged-fat snake like creature with only 2 limbs, flexible neck and tail, and a pair of bat-wings on its back.

Before the claim about Ulysses Aldrovandus' "discovery," there is another fabrication involving a town called Nerluc in France being honored for killing a dragon,

"The city of Nerluc in France was renamed in honor of the killing of a "dragon" there. (Picture from Taylor, Paul, The Great Dinosaur Mystery, 1989, p. 40.) This animal was said to be bigger than an ox and had long, sharp, pointed horns on its head. Was this a surviving Triceratops?"

No! It was Tarasque, the dragon killed by the villagers of Nerluc after she was tamed by St. Martha who paid a visit to the town one day. Tarasque is described as a turtle monster with 6 legs, a scorpion tail, a face resembling an old man, and a turtle shell that sheds once every 7 years. Then came the claim about Ulysses Aldrovandus and his discovery of a dragon that was killed by a peasant who gave the body to Aldrovandus who then mounted it and placed in his private collection. The body turned out to be a hoax made up of various parts of dead carcasses coming from various animals forged together into one monster that's described to have bat-wings, fat body, two limbs, coiling tail and neck, snake head, and large scales. According to the creationists, the alleged monster that was killed and given to Aldrovandus to keep was a Tanystropheus, a long neck reptile from the Middle Triassic Period. False. Tanystropheus is a 4 legged reptile with no wings and a stiff neck longer than is body and tail put together. In no way does it resemble the 2-limbed monster hoaxes illustrated in Historiae Animalium, Mundus Subterraneus (Subterranean World), a spectacular book written by Athanasius Kircherin in 1665 to describe what he believes how volcanoes erupt, what causes earthquakes to occur, what are fossils made up of, and so much more. And in Aldrovandus' Historia serpentum et draconum (The History of Serpents and Dragons). In the next fabrication, Woetzel claims,

"The story is told of a tenth century Irishman who encountered a large clawed beast having 'iron on its tail which pointed backwards.' It had a head similar to a horse. It also had thick legs and strong claws. Could this be a remaining Stegosaurus?"

No, wrong again. Try Paiste. An 11 foot tall serpentine monster with 2 horns on either side of the head, scales the size of dinner plates, long fangs, black tongue, and dangerous venom that was tricked into being bound by 3 rods and commanded to be submerged in the lake near by its cave to await God's Judgment at the end of the world. The Dragons of Ireland, also known as Celtic Dragons, are described to have large coiling bodies, bat-wings, and arrow-tipped coiling tails and horns on their horse-like heads. These monsters are symbols of evil and paganism and had to be driven out of Ireland at once. St Patrick did the honor. But there were still dragons left in a few locations in Ireland at the time of St. Patrick's death. So his successor Saint Murrough O'Heaney came and finished the job by tricking Paiste into being bound in 3 rods and commanding him to slither into Lough Foyle, a lake nearby where Paiste lived, where Paiste remains to this day until God comes back to release him and allow him to devastate the land at the end of the world.

The reference to the head of a horse likely came from another tale of Fergus mac Leti's encounter with a dragon named Muirdris, also known as the Water Horse. This huge dragon gave Fergus mac Leti such an ugly face that when Fergus found out about what happened to his face, he went back and slew Muirdris out of vengeance.

The next claim involves various historians such as Josephus and Herodotus describing "fiery flying serpents" plaguing Egypt and Arabia. Woetzel and another creationist John Goertzen claims the descriptions of flying serpents match that of pterosaurs such as Dimorphodon, an Early Jurassic pterosaur. False. The serpents in the writings of Josephus and Herodotus are described to have no limbs and reproduce by having the females kill their mates after mating and bearing babies that eat their way out of their mothers' body unlike pterosaurs that have limbs and are only egg layers. Plus, the ribs and backbones found on the shores of the Nile most likely have came from either the carcasses of some dead snake, draco volans, Spinosaurid fossils from the Cretaceous period that were unearthed and placed into shrines by the Egyptians as told in Adrienne Mayor's The First Fossil Hunters pg. 135-136, or they are bones of modern animals that have been washed ashore out of the rocks every rainy season. So no, not pterosaurs the ancient writers are describing, but Amphitheres, winged snakes with no limbs, colorful scales, and bat or bird-like wings.

The next claim involves a collection of medieval books known as bestiaries which tells about stones, plants, and animals, some real, others mythical, in an allegory format to teach people about Christian principles and morality. One of the mythical animals in the bestiaries includes the dragon in which Woetzel claims,

"One such volume is the Aberdeen Bestiary, written in the early 1500's and preserved in the library of Henry VIII. Along with the newt, the salamander, and various kinds of snakes is the description and depiction of the dragon: 'The dragon is bigger than all other snakes or all other living things on earth. For this reason, the Greeks call it dracon, from this is derived its Latin name draco. The dragon, it is said, is often drawn forth from caves into the open air, causing the air to become turbulent. The dragon has a crest, a small mouth, and narrow blow-holes through which it breathes and puts forth its tongue. Its strength lies not in its teeth but in its tail, and it kills with a blow rather than a bite. It is free from poison. They say that it does not need poison to kill things, because it kills anything around which it wraps its tail. From the dragon not even the elephant, with its huge size, is safe. For lurking on paths along which elephants are accustomed to pass, the dragon knots its tail around their legs and kills them by suffocation. Dragons are born in Ethiopia and India, where it is hot all year round.'"

Creationists show excepts and images from ancient art and literature under a false pretense that if animals like the bear and the lion are real and living, then chances are the dragon, called "dinosaur" in the creationists' delusional eyes, must be real too. Same thing goes for unicorns, mermaids, trees that grow geese, griffins, and other mythical beasts mentioned in the bestiaries if that's the case. Let me be frank with you-- it is absolutely worthless to rely on such literature as ancient bestiaries for scientific and natural knowledge on rocks, plants, and animals as well as evidence for dinosaurs because first off, dinosaurs were completely unheard of back then and secondly, some of the rocks, plants, and animals found in such literature like griffins, dragons, barnacle trees, fire stones, and unicorns are non-existent. And third, even though other plants, animals, and rocks such as bear, lion, amethyst, sapphire, and mandrakes mentioned in the books are real, the descriptions of them are not. For example, we all know that bees are not birds, but insects that make honey, but in the bestiaries, the bee is regarded as a bird that's born from the dead bodies of cattle. Although mandrakes are real plants that produce fruit, according to the bestiaries, mandrakes have human like roots and is known to shriek when some tries to pull them out of the ground. Oysters are indeed mollusks that produce pearls by covering an irritant with nacre, a combination of calcium carbonate and conchiolin, also know as the Mother of Pearl, but in the bestiaries, they are mistaken as stones that produce pearls by just taking in dew from the sky. And we all know that the ostrich is very caring towards her eggs and young, but tell that to the authors of the bestiaries who claims that the ostrich is a bird that can care less about her eggs let alone her young and hide her head in the sand when she's threatened. The dragon told in the bestiaries are described as the greatest of all serpents who can kill its prey with its tail and is feared by elephants they kill by coiling around their bodies and suffocate them. The dragon is shown to have either 2 or 4 wings of either bat or bird, two or four limbs, serpentine bodies, wolf ears, and poisonous breath-- features never found on any dinosaur at all. Because of the dragon, female elephants had to bore their babies in the lake while the males stand guard on the shores to repel the dragon if the dragon comes near to devour their baby.

Continued next post.

[gallery]

Happy Independence Day.

In a recent visit to Banaue, while my companions and I were at Banuae Hotel, just languidly waiting our time for departure to Manila, in its main hall, there was a curious assembly of public school teachers from many parts of the Philippines. Apparently, the mentors had a one week seminar on how to create national pride in their students, particularly when the students sing the National Anthem and recite the Panatang Makabayan. During that time, the teachers had to sing the anthem properly (and in tune). Also they were tasked to create ways on how to propagate love for country among the young students.

I could not believe it. I was elated.  Yes, it was the teachers themselves who gave much time for this extra work when they were supposed to be enjoying still their own summer vacations. Moreover, the participants themselves even paid for their own accommodation in Banaue's poshest place. The teachers needed to prepare a big budget for this vacation seminar, I presume.  Thus, it was sadly expected that many other teachers had not been able to come because of the added expense on them.  Just the same, hurray for all the coordinators and teachers for their deep concern about how to encourage patriotism for this nation.

More specially now, that many don't even get to sing the exact lyrics of our National Anthem. Not even those professional singers who miserably bang up "Bayang Magiliw" just before a special boxing fight, featuring Filipino pugilists-heroes. Thus embarrassingly, the following day, these singers have become side stories themselves in the newspapers' front pages.

Again, this isn't breaking new ground, but it's some of that good hip hop we don't always get enuff of these days.

Tame One ft. Del - "Catch Me" 

Chapter 4: “How Kind”, Said the Piss Bowl

It was damp and cold in the Artifact Store. Lionel had crossed and

uncrossed his legs several times already, and was beginning to wonder

how much longer he could maintain an iron grip upon his bladder.

The quasi-intelligent Piss Bowl, just inside the door, seemed to be

calling to him with its siren song.

“Would you mind…” Colin seemed to be instructing Lionel as he

fiddled with a vaguely flying saucer-shaped item that was barely larger

than a home telephone, “…but that tune’s beginning to get on my

nerves.”

Lionel (if he hadn’t been bursting) would have been astonished at this

remark. He had no idea that androids had nerves upon which ‘things’

could get: And the fact that he could also hear the siren song seriously

stretched the limits of his credulity. Naturally Lionel had assumed that the

sound was all in his head (or even his bladder), and that with the passage

of time it would either fade or drive him into a bottomless pit of madness:

So now that the opportunity to relieve his pain presented itself, he knew

that he must grasp the moment with both paws…

“Do you think I aught?” Queried Lionel, “Last time I did it, Boney was

furious.”

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“Oh don’t go worrying yourself about such things.” Colin assured him,

“What Boney doesn’t see won’t harm him. In any case – the Piss Bowl’s

gagging for it. You’d be doing us all a favour.”

Indeed the Piss-Bowl was gagging for it. That strange alien device, for

which no one could find an alternative use, relied upon passing hamsters

for its sustenance entirely. And it appeared to be a truly symbiotic

relationship that it shared with Lionel; – inasmuch that it made the young

hamster happy. Lionel’s will broke suddenly, and he dashed across the

cavernous room toward the door.

Moments later Colin shouted, “I have it! I have it!”, and duly shoved a

sheet of printing paper into a slot that had miraculously appeared in the

top of the gizmo that he held in his metallic paws.

From his vantage point in front of the gently-sighing Piss Bowl Lionel

watched as the flying saucer extruded the same sheet of paper through a

lower slot, much as a fax machine might. Or, indeed, the Piss Bowl.

“Cor.” He said in wonderment – having never seen a fax machine in

action before. “Behold – a marvel of hamster ingenuity.”

But Colin wasn’t listening: His mouth had fallen open in wonderment of

his own.

***

Everyone had assembled in the kitchen. So besides Colin and Lionel –
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Boney, Fanangy, and the Sentinel Robots were also present.

“So what’s all this about?” Said Boney as he poured three cups of tea, a

glass of anti-freeze for Colin, and several vials of moisture repellant for

the robots – which he then handed out to the respective recipients -

dependant upon their particular requirements. “Bottom’s up.” He added.

This was an unfortunate slip of the tongue for Boney. In the heat of the

moment he’d completely forgotten that the Sentinel Robots took every

instruction literally. Seconds later crockery lay scattered across the floor,

as the robots did their level best to perform, what for them, was an

impossible task. Their bottoms had never been designed to point

skyward; and they couldn’t help but fail miserably as they contorted their

metal bodies into configurations that their designers had neither intended

nor imagined.

Some while later, as Fanangy was running a soapy mop across the vinyl

surface, Boney said, “Next time I speak out of turn – will somebody

please kick me in the bollocks. If I could afford real security guards, I’d

have those hopeless sods melted down or sold for scrap.”

***

Eventually, Colin was able to make his demonstration. And the result

was spectacular. The flying saucer produced sufficient sheets of printed

paper to constitute and unbound book of novella length.
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“Wowie!” Exclaimed Fanangy as she leaved through the pile of print-

outs, and examined the script through narrowing eyes, “What, the fluff,

does it mean?”

“It’s an instruction manual.” Colin informed her. “A build-it-yourself

instruction manual.”

Lionel asked the obvious question.

“You don’t want to know.” Colin informed him. “I don’t think that the

average hamster psyche could handle it.”

Well if there was one thing that really annoyed aging hamsters, it was

having their feeble psyche insulted. “What?” Boomed Boney, “I’ll have

you know that I can stand just about anything – up to, and including, a

build-it-yourself manual. So, Colin, tell me: What’s it a manual for?”

But instead of replying, Colin simply held out the document for Boney

to take.

Begrudgingly, or so Lionel thought, Boney took the proffered item. He

scanned it quickly with his fertile gaze, then handed it back.

“Sorry,” he said, “it don’t mean a bloody thing to me: But if you wanna

waste your time making one – well you just go right ahead. Just don’t

spend any of my money doing it.”

***

So, for the next two hours, Lionel followed Colin about the vast edifice
85

as he went in search of components required for the construction

of….what? Lionel didn’t know. But he wanted to know. As a geek it was

his right to know. Perhaps even his destiny.

“Colin,” he said, as the android hamster removed the ball-float from a

cistern in the upper gents lavatory, “what are you planning to construct?”

“I’m not sure I can really tell you just yet.” Colin tried to cool his

colleague’s fevered brow with words, as he tugged at a tyre-valve from

an old three-wheeled racing go-kart that had been left behind by a famous

French race driver by the name of Norbert Disentangle.

“That’s simply not good enough.” Chided an angry Lionel as he

watched Colin disconnect the intercom from the rear entrance of The

Where House, then test the connections with his secret, and incredibly

rude, special tool.

“Well I realize that in the short term I might offend you,” Colin finally

replied, as he slipped the power-pack from the hindmost opening of a

Sentinel Robot, “But the alternative course of action could lead to

bitter disappointment and prolonged recriminations if things don’t work

out perfectly in the long term.”

Lionel couldn’t argue with Colin’s logic, despite understanding little or

none of it. So instead of arguing farther, he removed himself to the

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kitchen for some biscuits, and a chin-wag with the others.

***

“I know…” Fanangy yelled, as she leapt to her fluffy feet, in answer to

Lionel’s question, ‘Does anyone have any ideas?’ “…We can make our

own manual!”

***

Of course it was a brilliant idea, and before long Boney was cramming

sheets of pristine new printing paper into the flying-saucer’s upper slot.

The bitter disappointment that Colin had alluded to earlier then reared

its spiteful head. The machine simply refused to co-operate. Despite

Boney’s threats, Lionel’s judicious over-use of the device’s knobs and

buttons, and Fanangy’s flashing of her privates, the machine simply chose

to sit and cogitate in a really annoying manner.

Then Fanangy had one of her brilliant ideas…

“Cripes, I think I have the answer.” She yelled suddenly following the

imbibing of some plum and gravy liqueur, “It doesn’t like us.”

“Fair enough,” grumbled Boney, “I don’t like it. How does that help us

make it work?”

“P’raps if we were machines.” She replied.

And Lionel, knowing all about esoteric nonsense and other useless

things, caught on immediately. “Of course: A machine intelligence would
87

only take instructions from another machine intelligence. To it we’re

merely carbon-based nit-wits. We need to look like robots!”

***

It took mere moments for the three hamsters to thoroughly ransack the

Spares Cupboard. Within a very short while indeed they were all dressed

in diver’s helmets, chain mail jerkins, rubber gloves, and moldering fire-

fighters’ boots – all spray-painted in a luxurious silver effect.

But only when they began to speak in emotionless monotones did the

machine finally succumb to their subterfuge, and begin its work.

Naturally what was fed out of the lower slot meant nothing to any of

them - including Lionel, who had read many clever-dick books intended

for the rat-in-the-street concerning the origin of the universe, space/time,

cosmic jelly, flat matter, and black toes. But they accepted the results

with good humour, and more than a trace of optimistic stupidity.

“Wowie,” Cried Fanangy in her effervescent way, “We’ll have this thing

built in a day. Can anyone tell what it is?”

Of course no one could, and it was only much later, as the sun dipped

below the distant horizon, that Lionel had the idea of laying each sheet of

paper out on the floor in the order that they had been printed. They then

studied them from the lofty position of the crane gantry in the empty

vehicle shed. And as Lionel had suspected, the endless reams of binary
88

code formed a remarkably accurate monochrome picture that was so

detailed that it made him wince.

“Well bite my bum!” Exclaimed Boney as he looked down upon their

handiwork, “Who’d have thought it?”

Fanangy stood beside him. She too was surprised, and not a little

delighted. “Colin’s making himself a…” she began; but she never

completed the sentence. Colin was too quick for that…

“You’re too late.” He called from the open doorway. “My task is

complete. If I were ever to have a grave of my own – I could now go to it

as a contented male hamster. Now - everyone outside: This is going to

prove fascinating!”

***

‘Outside’ meant in the open air just beyond the rear pedestrian door.

‘Outside’ also meant umbrellas: It was pissing down; and before long the

three damp hamsters grew tired of waiting for Colin to make his grand

entrance. Or ‘Outrance’ as Fanangy good-naturedly named it.

But he did finally show his face – very slowly from around the door

jamb. “Are you ready?” He enquired – hardly able to control his

excitement.

“Just bloomin’ get on with it:” Boney yelled across the concrete area:

“My fur aint quite so water-proof as it used to be!”
89

So, without further ado, or fanfare, Colin stepped into the rain. He then

turned back to present…what? The others, despite being cold and bored,

didn’t know what to expect. Surely it couldn’t really resemble the binary

code illustration they’d so recently seen? Surely not?

Then she stepped into view, and all three hamsters lost momentary

control of their jaws. She – or it – was the most beautiful female hamster

that ever walked the land of Hamster Britain, and probably everywhere

else too.

“Flippin’ ‘eck!” Was all that Boney could dredge up from his

considerable vocabulary of rural expressions.

“An absolute masterpiece!” Fanangy responded in a voice so much more

mature than her usual tone.

“She’s got a boiler suit on.” Lionel complained,. “In the picture she was

completely naked. I feel cheated!”

But neither Colin, or the female apparition, took any notice of these

outbursts. She – or it – looked up at the sky, and blinked as the rain

cascaded into her dusky, but unprotected, eyes.

“What is this?” She enquired in a sultry whisper that made Boney’s

trousers flap alarmingly.

“Well, Doris…” Colin began.

90

“Doris?” Fanangy exploded with mirth, “Where I come from Doris is a

euphemism for…Well never mind what it’s a euphemism for: You’ll

have find another name for your creation – or I might wet myself

laughing.”

“Well, Gladys,” Colin began again as though the past few seconds had

never elapsed, “That’s called rain.”

“Rain.” The machine named Gladys was looking decidedly

uncomfortable. “Educate me regarding rain.”

“It’s wet.” Colin replied, as though those two words explained

everything. “Oh, and it falls down.”

Gladys found herself blinking ferociously. “The wet rain is causing my

ocular devices to malfunction. This situation must be rectified.”

“Try blinking.” Boney shouted across the divide.

“Blinking, yes, that will suffice.” Gladys spoke affirmatively. Then she

began blinking so rapidly that steam began to rise from her cheeks. So

she stopped. “I enjoy neither rain nor blinking,” she informed Colin. “We

shall proceed to the interior of this building once more.”

Colin duly stepped aside to allow her ingress. “Now that’ll be fine and

dandy,” he told her. “Besides, you’re leaving a nasty oil stain on the

ground. I’d better fix you up with a fresh gasket.”

***
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The three flesh and blood hamsters followed at a discrete distance as

the two artificial hamsters made their way to the kitchen.

“I remain moist.” Gladys informed Colin. Strictly speaking it wasn’t a

complaint, but somehow it came out sounding like one.

Boney chose this moment to rush forward with a dishcloth. “I’ll dry you

off, gal.” He said in a squeaky voice that betrayed his excitement. “But

first we’d better get you out of them wet clothes before you rust up some

of them servos or somethin’.”

Gladys turned a haughty gaze upon Boney that fairly dripped

effrontery. “I did not address this being:” she said, looking down her

considerable snout at the mortified Boney, “What is it? It offends me.”

Then, in the moment that Colin was about to respond with, ‘Now,

Gladys, that’s no way to speak to the owner of this fine establishment’;

the female android turned to Lionel, and said, “Now this one I like.”

To Lionel’s horror; and Fanangy’s fury, Gladys proceeded to run a

damp finger down the length of Lionel’s snout very slowly, and with such

suggestiveness that it beggared belief. This overtly sexual act then

culminated with Gladys vibrating Lionel’s lower lip so abruptly that it

twanged like a harpsichord, and caused his upper bifurcated lips to

tremble with such intensity that he got a nasty headache in three seconds

92

flat.

But Colin appeared not to notice. “That’s Lionel.” He informed the

sentient mechanism. “It’s a hamster: The highest form of life in Hamster

Britain. They’re very nice – once you get used to them.”

Gladys couldn’t take her ocular devices from Lionel’s terrified

countenance. “I don’t know this one at all,” She said appreciatively, “but

I like it already. Tell me, Lionel, is that your full nomenclature?”

Under normal circumstances Lionel would have no difficulty with

understanding the question. He knew full well what a nomenclature was.

And he knew his very well indeed. But today he simply replied with,

“Ugh?”

If a sentient mechanism could be taken aback, then that is what Gladys

was right then. She responded with an unexpected “Ugh?” of her own.

Once more the true significance of the situation managed to by-pass

Colin by some distance. “His name is Lionel Flufflehorn, Gladys.” He

informed her.

“Flugelhorn.” Fanangy corrected her colleague. “And you mind what

you’re doing with him: He’s precious and very delicate.”

“No, no,” Gladys attempted to sooth away Lionel’s fearful expression

by caressing his furry forehead, “he’s not delicate: He’s divine.

93

Flugelhorn is an ugly name. Henceforth you shall be known as

Smoochipoos: But only in my company. Would you like that,

Smoochipoos?”

Lionel had no idea whether he liked it or not: He’d already fainted.

“Oh, you’re right after all.” Gladys looked slightly disappointed, “He is

delicate. But never mind – I can give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Perhaps, with luck, I can keep it up for hours and hours. Then we can

move on to other body parts.”

This final suggestion was too much for Fanangy. “Colin” She yelled in a

most unladylike voice, “where’s the fluffing ‘off’ switch?”

Colin was momentarily flustered. Events were conspiring to overtake

him. “Um, now – let me see….” He managed.

“Oh never mind.” Fanangy said, as she pushed him aside. She then took

up an old wooden club that she’d been keeping for just such a rainy day,

and bashed the unsuspecting Gladys over the head several times until she

slumped to the floor in a most inert fashion.

“Blimey, gal,” Boney took a pipe from his chest pocket, and lit the

contents, “If I didn’t know otherwise, I’d say you was jealous.”

For that unsolicited witticism he received a blow of his own.

94 ***

Later, after the agony in Boney’s privates had subsided, and they’d all

had a couple of square meals, Boney and Colin caught the elevator to the

basement. With them they carried the deactivated form of Gladys.

Colin was looking decidedly down-in-the-dumps. Boney tried to cheer

him up…

“Never mind, Colin,” he said in his most kindly voice, “not everyone

gets it right first time. Look at Henri Frod: He tried to mass-produce

foldaway scooters. But his only mistake was insisting that they all be

black. And Thomas Eggiface: What about his illuminated jockstraps? His

only mistake was plugging them into the mains. But they went on to

great success eventually. Now everyone’s heard of Eggi-Frod Electric

Wheelbarrows. Some even cough up a few Rodentos to buy ‘em once in a

while.”

Colin accepted this with the cool logic that one would expect of an

android. He nodded sagely. “I suppose you’re right.” He sighed. Then a

thought struck. “Wait a minute:” His solemn mood instantly brightened,

“Are you suggesting that I have another go?”

Boney wasn’t so sure. “Well…” he began.

But Colin was all over him like a rash. “Oh, Boney – what a wonderful

example of a carbon-based life form you are. I won’t let you down again,

95

I promise.”

And with that he stopped the elevator, wrenched open the doors, and

threw the body of Gladys down the shaft.

***

No one went near the Artifact Store for three days. They didn’t want to

interrupt Colin’s concentration. So while they spent their days doing

bugger-all, or playing about on the internet, the house android slaved

ceaselessly to create a fully-functional female android of his own.

But eventually Lionel’s curiosity got the better of him, and he

found himself stealing along the dark, damp, corridor that led to the

Artifact Store. When he came within earshot of his desired destination he

paused. Were those voices that he could hear? Did it really sound like an

argument in progress?

Suddenly the door to the Artifact Store burst open, and Colin came

flying through the opening.

Lionel jumped back as his android friend fetched up against the wall;

then slid to the floor where he quaked alarmingly. The young hamster

was about to cry out, when his thoughts were interrupted by the

appearance of a rather stout, middle-aged, female, dressed in an

incredibly unfashionable tweed twin set, and sturdy walking shoes.

The two beings looked at each other appraisingly. Lionel wasn’t sure, but

96

he thought that she might be the most perfectly ghastly example of female

hamsterkind that he’d ever seen. He was about to say as much; but then

reconsidered. If she was willing to throw her creator across a room –

what might she do to him? Instead he said, “Hello, I’m Lionel. Who are

you?”

The stout, middle-aged, female stepped forward smartly. She offered a

firm paw for Lionel to shake. “Missus Tweed.” She announced, “Glad to

make your acquaintance. Now will you kindly inform this buffoon…”

She indicated Colin, who appeared to be in no hurry to rise, “…that I

simply refuse to have my ‘power-up’ socket placed precisely there.”

Lionel didn’t know what to say; so he said, “There?”

In response Missus Tweed turned about; lifted her skirt, dropped her

sturdy undergarments, and showed Lionel exactly where ‘there’ was.

When Lionel had finally finished gagging, he managed to say, “So

what’s so bad about having a ‘power up’ socket there. I mean – you’re an

android: Why should you care?”

But Tweed was gone; and Colin too.

‘To the kitchen , no doubt’ thought Lionel.

***

When eventually Lionel was able to find his way back to the kitchen –
97

which wasn’t easy because he had no sense of direction whatsoever – he

found everyone having a rare old time. They were eating, drinking,

laughing, and singing, and having a jolly good time. And at the centre of

it all was Tweed – only now she was wearing a pair of rather stern-

looking bifocal spectacles and an beetle-stalker hat that looked most

incongruous amongst the merriment and alcohol-fueled abandonment.

“I say,” he exclaimed, in a petulant tone, “you’ve certainly got your feet

under the table quickly enough: They’ve never had a party for me – and

I’ve been here for simply yonks!”

“Ah, Mister Flugelhorn,” Tweed waved, then tossed a can of Brewgut

Belcher’s finest ale – That Hideous Stench, “Give us a song, why don’t

you.”

Lionel was utterly nonplussed. Firstly, he hated That Hideous Stench

more than life itself: Secondly, his amazement at the abrupt change of

character in Tweed was only equaled by the childhood discovery that his

father had a psychological aversion to water despite the fact that he was

the All Hamster Heath Breaststroke Champion three times in his youth,

and had even gone so far as to shave his scrotum for more speed and less

drag.

“No, thank you very much.” He said politely.

Abruptly the merriment ceased. Everyone, except Tweed, was looking at
98

him with expressions that appeared to exhibit emotions somewhat akin to

horror. The only exception was Tweed herself: She looked as though she

might actually eat him.

“I beg your pardon?” She said, neither politely, or with any trace of

mirth.

Lionel was about to repeat himself, when he noticed Fanangy making

signs at him from behind Tweed’s back. Fortunately Lionel was well-

versed in the intricacies of behind-the-back-sign-waving, and

comprehended the meaning of Fanangy’s desperate paw-waggling.

“Lionel, don’t anger her.” The signs said, “She’s having a psychotic

episode. She wants…no – she demands – that we all be her best

friends, and party like it’s the Year Blob Plus Ninety-nine.”

Lionel made a big show of coughing. This was to disguise his reply to

the prettiest hamster that he’d ever laid eyes upon.

“What caused this psychotic episode?” He enquired.

“Who gives a fluff?” Came Fanangy’s distraught response, “Just don’t

do anything to anger her. I tried hitting her over the head several times,

but it made no impression. I’m afraid that Colin’s made her virtually

indestructible.”

Having used the ‘old coughing’ ploy once, Lionel felt that he shouldn’t

99

push his luck. So he gagged alarmingly, and furtively signed, “The reason

I ask, is because if I can replicate the catalyst, then perhaps I can reverse

the effect.”

“Oh, I see.” Fanangy’s fingers veritably flew, “Well it was when Boney

gave her a direct command. He told her to get her internal power packs

charged up. Of course she refused. She even showed him her power-jack.

It was whilst she was replacing her knickers that Boney took the

opportunity to assert his authority over her.”

“He didn’t…?” Signed Lionel.

“He did!” Fanangy signed back. “He stuck the power jack right up her

cybernetic jacksey. She went absolutely bananas. Since then she’s totally

ruled us by means of fear and intimidation. So watch yourself: Don’t go

getting any funny ideas: And, no matter how much you loathe it, drink

that ale!”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Lionel said to Tweed, as he tore open the can, and

downed the contents in two seconds flat. “ I’d do anything for a friend.”

Tweed’s threatening look evaporated like the morning mist upon a

particularly hot day. “Wonderful. “ She waved him nearer. “Now join us.

Sing us a song of battle. Regale us with tales of your sexual conquests.

Eat. Be merry. But no gratuitous farting: Anal events offend me.”

100

“I can imagine.” Lionel said as he nervously joined the tiny throng.

***

So for the next three hours the small band of rodents danced, sang, ate,

and were merry. In the case of Lionel the latter became literally true:

Brewgut Belcher’s That Hideous Stench was like the elixir of life to him.

He became out-going, effervescent, and sang jolly songs that he’d heard

his father singing in the assumed privacy of the garden shed. And he sang

them in a fine tenor too.

But time and ale will take its toll upon any hamster brave enough, or

foolish enough, to imbibe in such vast quantities. As That Hideous Stench

released his inhibitions, so too did it release his latent telepathic

abilities…

***

Deep below, in the Artifact Store, something stirred. It was the flying

saucer device. Soon little lights began blinking across its entire surface.

Then antennae began sprouting from hitherto hidden orifices. Little did

the hamsters above suspect that the device had been in constant

communication with one of its own creations; and now, alerted by

Lionel’s unintentional, and silent, call, it was reawakening that creation.

***

At the foot of the elevator shaft something else stirred. Of course it was
101

Gladys. She dragged herself to her one good foot, and hopped to an

access panel. Through this she clambered into the basement corridor.

“Must find Lionel.” She said in a dull monotone.

“I’m sorry; would you repeat that.” Said a passing Sentinel Robot in its

tedious robotic voice.

“Must find Lionel.” Gladys did as she was bid.

“By Lionel, I assume that you refer to the carbon-based rodent currently

inhabiting the kitchen?” The literal robot enquired further.

“I expect so.” Gladys nodded in an approximation of a hamster gesture,

which was ruined somewhat when her head fell off. “Can you take me

there?” She added from the floor.

“Yes.” Replied the robot, which then merely waited, rolling backwards

and forwards slightly upon its huge rubber wheels.

Gladys took a moment to replace her head, then looked at the robot

expectantly. “Do it then.” She bellowed in a voice that was anything but

monotone. “But fix me first!”

And the Sentinel Robot took her up in his inflexible arms, and

carried her considerable weight into the service elevator.

***

Boney could take no more: He was exhausted: His voice was gone: And

his knees ached like glory. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but I’m gonna have to
102

lay down for a bit.”

“No.” Snapped Tweed. “You inserted a power point into my anus: You

will continue to pay dearly for such an act of aggression. Leave now…”

A vicious blade extruded itself from the end of her index finger. “…and

Pretty Boy, here, dies.”

Naturally ‘Pretty Boy, here’ was none other than Lionel. Not that he

either knew nor cared: He was blind-stinking drunk. And despite the

closeness of sudden death, he continued to carouse gloriously.

“Colin, you twat.” Fanangy shrieked at the incumbent android, “What

the fluff persuaded you to fit a switchblade into your latest creation?

Like Fanangy, Colin continued to dance as he replied, “It was in the

manual. I thought it was either a tooth pick or a crevice poker.”

Then something happened that struck him dumb. It even made his

gyrations halt. That something was the abrupt opening of the door.

Actually it wasn’t so much abrupt: It was more cataclysmic. The door

actually burst in as though a hand grenade had exploded on the other side

of it.

When the dust settled, a figure stepped into view.

“You leave my Lionel alone!” Screamed Gladys in a voice so high that

it went beyond the normal range of hamster-hearing, and woke some

hibernating dormice in the nearby town of Gerbil’s Ruin.
103

“Ho- ho.” Tweed stood up– casting aside Lionel as she did so, “So the

Mark One makes its appearance. Prepare to be deactivated –

permanently.”

Well there are few things a hamster enjoys more than a good fight

between antagonistic androids: And Fanangy and Boney were no

exceptions. “You’re not going to take that laying down, I hope?” Fanangy

called out to the newcomer.

“You’re damned right I won’t.” Gladys ground out between steel-tipped

incisors. “Not for a second.”

***

What followed was not exactly a fight: It was more of an aerial ballet

with malice. If either combatant had been a living creature, they certainly

wouldn’t have remained so after five seconds of this fight. Talons

appeared: Wicked blades protruded: Vicious drilling equipment whirred:

And some sort of anti-gravity machinery kept them aloft throughout the

ensuing battle.

“Wowie,” Fanangy seemed more like her old self now, “This is fun!”

Boney didn’t entirely agree: The androids were effectively destroying

his kitchen. “Best we get out of ‘ere, gal.” he said, “They seem pretty

evenly matched: This could last for days.”

So with Colin’s help they carried Lionel to a place of safety.
104 ***

It was several hours later when Lionel awoke. He was feeling like shit,

and made no attempt to hide the fact. Then he was sick.

“This is all the fault of Brewgut Belcher’s That Hideous Stench.” He

complained, as he sat up in the bedroom that he shared with Fanangy.

The recipient of this false statement looked up from polishing her claws

on the opposite bed. “No,” she replied, “It was the fault of that flying

saucer device from the Artifact Store.”

“Oh, well if you’re blaming things by logical extension – the fault

really lies with Colin.” Lionel was surprised to hear himself say through

the dense fog of a nasty hangover. “It was him who started all this.”

“Not so.” Fanangy shot back. “He was under the device’s influence. It

made him do it.”

“It did?” Lionel was surprised. “Why?”

“It was a jokester device. It has a wicked sense of humour. It is a born

again arsehole machine. It was merely toying with our lives.”

“The bastard!” Lionel erupted so loudly that he made his eyes swim,

“How dare it! What is Colin going to do about it?”

“Nothing.” Fanangy explained miserably, “He’d too frightened of it.”

Lionel stopped breathing. His dander was up. How dare that damned

machine threaten their humdrum lives! “I’m going to do it for him,

then.” He shouted again; – but now he was getting used to it, so it didn’t
105

hurt so much. “And I’m going to do it now!” He added bravely, “But first

someone will have to tell me what happened exactly: I seem a little

muddle-headed at the moment.”

***

It took Lionel a while to find his way to the Artifact Store. But

eventually he strode into the darkened room.

“I wondered when someone would turn up.” Said the flying saucer

device. “Didn’t expect it to be you. Thought you’d be a goner. That was

very kind of you to telepath to me earlier, by the way: I had great fun

scaring the shit out of everybody. But tell me: Why aren’t you dead?”

“Because you designed your robots too well.” Lionel managed to keep

the anger from his voice. “But they still had one serious flaw. You made

them too hamstery. Gladys was infatuated with me so intensely that

she destroyed herself to keep me from harm.”

“I don’t understand…” The flying saucer stumbled verbally.

“She blew herself up after I left the room.” Lionel explained grimly,

“She took Missus Tweed with her. Well that’s what I’m told anyway. ”

“Remarkable.” A little laugh entered the machine’s voice. “Such

selflessness.”

“As opposed to your selfishness, arrogance, and general superior

arseholiness.” Lionel’s teeth now grated. “But I intend to do something
106

about that.”

“You? What could you do that might possible harm me in any way

psychologically?” The device scoffed.

“Psychologically?” Lionel seemed to ponder for a moment, “Probably

nothing: But physically…”

He then picked up the flying saucer-shaped thingy; took across to the

doorway, where he placed it inside the shallow recess of the piss bowl.

“How kind.” Said the Piss Bowl upon a dainty slip of scented card.

“No!” The flying saucer device screamed in fear as realization dawned,

“Not that!”

“Yes.” Lionel yelled. “Just that!”

Then he got out his willy; and urinated all over the evil machine.

Sparks flew, and steam rose. Then all the little lights went out.

“Bravo!” Fanangy cheered from the corridor. “I wish I could do that!”

And so, once more discovered by Fanangy, with his privates on parade,

far from feeling pleased with himself in his moment of glory, Lionel

discovered that he had never felt more embarrassed in all his life.

Tooty Nolan’s The Where House © Created & Written by

Paul T Nolan paulnolan1701@hotmail.com

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It is school opening once more. And with the tight economic squeeze, many are just lucky to be still at school.  Even luckier are those who get to be students of the University of the Philippines. As most Filipinos know, UP gives out subsidies or even free tuition to many worthy individuals. And some of the scholar graduates have already become superstar stalwarts in many different fields, and yet many have chosen to quietly give back to society  - somehow what the University has been encouraging its graduates to do. Some have even opted to work for government and non-government organizations and get paid measely.

I was part of this institution, specifically, UP Diliman for many years - as undergraduate and graduate student of Psychology.  And pretty much everyday, I would passby the iconic sculpture and architectural masterpiece that would welcome all students, teachers, personnel and visitors, getting into this esteemed learning institution at Quezon City.

Admittedly,  just like, I guess, many of the UP scholars, I would take for granted what seems to be familiar to many Filipinos - the UP Oblation and the Quezon Hall created by National Artists, Guillermo Tolentino and Architect Juan Nakpil, respectively. My own personal recollection about this area is limited to me buying my "sablay" in one of those cubicle offices at the basement of Quezon Hall for my Masters graduation, and drinking some Cali Shandy (still remember that) at night with some classmates at the footsteps of the same hall, after a crazy Statistics examination.

As the whole University of the Philippines Community celebrates its Centennial, I make my own little ode through these images to an academic familiar, symbolic of a special place that has given so much to me.

..."Hundreds of biblical artifacts in museums all over the world could be fakes, it has emerged after Israeli investigators uncovered what they claim is a sophisticated forgery ring...Four men have been charged with the faking of some of the most important biblical discoveries in recent years...

..."Shuka Dorfman, head of the Israel Antiquities Authority, said the forgery ring had been operating for more than 20 years and had been "trying to change history". Scholars said the forgers were exploiting the deep emotional need of Jews and Christians to find physical evidence to reinforce their faith."... My emphasis-twom.

Story excerpted from: guardian.co.uk. Here

There are many details in the Bible that are undoubtedly true, but there are many more that are figments of some old men's imagination. Biblical inerrancy is one of the things that is a figment. Some of the stories are purely imagination and are disproven in today's world. These old stories only worked when people were ignorant. The only reason some of today's people believe them, is they choose to be ignorant.

Since at least the sixteenth century, men and women of reason have been exploring and finding out the real truths about our world, and these truths have not always been beneficial to established religion and Biblical thought. It's not like Reason and Science have been out to get Christianity; all other religions and gods around the world, that rely on magic to explain itself, are equally disproven.

Religion and its followers cling to the old ways with a fierceness that is sometimes scary. They will ridicule and hate and go to extremes to verbally and emotionally abuse anyone they suspect of causing disbelief in their faith. If you don't believe as they do...then you are Satan in disguise...you are going to hell...you don't deserve to be friends with...'WE (insert sect here) KNOW' the truth.

Religion is inherently divisive. This is not just idle thought. Witness world history since religions have taken over cultures and races. Religion has been used over and over as excuses for genocide against neighbors and races. Not only do the religions themselves initiate death and destruction, but also secular leaders down through time have used religions for the same purpose. I just can't imagine a real God doing the things that are attributed to Him. This God-is man in disguise...WE give him the attributes we want him to have...WE have made this God in OUR image...Not the other way around.

For latest post go: Here

The inscriptions of Tikal have been scoured by epigraphers for many a year, but they still have the ability to surprise. I was leafing through the copy proofs of Hattula Moholy-Nagy’s new volume on Tikal artifacts (Tikal Report 27A) not so long ago when I saw a photograph of a text I’d previously seen only as a drawing. It was a close-up of a stucco-covered vessel found in Burial 195, the tomb of the sixth-century king dubbed Animal Skull.

As is widely known, this grave was flooded soon after its dedication and a slurry of mud deposited across its floor, burying many of its contents. A meticulous excavation by Rudy Larios and George Guillemin in 1965 revealed empty cavities in the now-hardened sediment, the remains of decayed wood and other perishable materials. Once filled with Plaster of Paris they could be recovered in whole or in part, in some cases revealing original stucco coatings with surviving color and painted designs. One of these objects was a small, covered bowl. The lid was almost complete and bore a 13-glyph Primary Standard Sequence in good preservation—perhaps bearing a woman’s name—a text now designated Miscellaneous Text 219. The style and coloring technique resembles those on the other stucco-covered pot in Burial 195, although it doesn’t appear to be in the same hand. The text on another stucco-coated item in the tomb, this time a ceramic plate, has a similar style but the artist is plainly different.

The body of the lidded vessel and the text it carried were in much poorer shape. Labeled Miscellaneous Text 277, it has only two surviving glyphs, the first no more than a fragment of border. The second is broken, yet unmistakably supplies the sequence K’UH-K’AN-tu-ma-ki for k’uhul k’antumaak—the emblem glyph of Caracol. With a blank section of stucco following, it falls at the end of a phrase, just where we might expect to find such a title.

Even today, when we have so many other ways of investigating Classic Maya politics, emblem glyphs remain a fundamental tool with which to examine relationships between sites. An isolated case such as this—damaged and lacking even the name of the person it refers to—can hardly carry the burden of great significance. We cannot even be sure that the vessel carrying it comes from Caracol. Nevertheless, it is interesting that such a title should appear in this particular grave at this particular time, and in this sense it does have a context in which it can be placed.

Animal Skull’s predecessor, Wak Chan K’awiil (formerly “Double Bird”) had close connections to Caracol and installed its king Yajaw Te’ K’inich II in 553. But relations soured rapidly and three years later, in 556, Wak Chan K’awiil attacked his former client. Six years after that, in 562, the Tikal king was defeated in a “star war” and disappears from history. The phrase describing the defeat on Caracol Altar 21 is badly damaged and the name of the victor unclear. Elsewhere I have argued that the Snake kingdom under its king Sky Witness is a better candidate than Caracol’s Yajaw Te’ K’inich, but we can only hope that some future find will make the matter clear. Certainly this marks the beginning of close ties between these two polities.

We don’t know how soon after 562 Animal Skull was inaugurated as Tikal’s 22nd king, and his rule is largely a historical blank. He has no known stelae and what little information we have comes from texts on unprovenanced ceramic vessels and those found within Burial 195. The tomb inscriptions appear on a set of four carved wooden boards (that survive today as plaster casts) and two polychrome plates. The first of the boards and one of the plates carry the same Long Count date, the 9.8.0.0.0 Period Ending of 593. This makes it very likely that his grave was dedicated before the next K’atun-ending in 613. Several ceramic vessels name his mother, a royal woman from the site of Bahlam “Jaguar,” while only one (from Burial 195) refers to his father, and this name is otherwise unknown and lacks any ide