One of the best parts of my time in Edmonton was the fact that my friend organized a bootcamp over the summer and convinced my lazy butt to go at least twice a week after work. We would do a little running in the river valley, along with some strength training. It was nice for a number of reasons: the river valley in Edmonton is gorgeous in the summer, I got less doughy, my friend got to verbally abuse more often, and, most of all, I found out that I could run a little.

All of this is going somewhere, trust me. See, the problem is, I'm getting doughy again, and the summer is coming. The ladies are always less impressed with my banana hammock if my gut hangs over the top. So, time to get exercising again.

And what better way than giving myself a goal. That's right, I'm all signed up to run in the 2008 Scotia Bank Rat Race on June 12. This means that I have exactly one month to whip myself back into shape. See, the thing is, I don't expect to do well, but I sure don't want to be last, and I'd love to better than middlin'.

For those interested in supporting me, I need to collect $50 in pledges to be eligible to run. Check out my profile page if you are interested in donating. I'll take anything: pennies, pocket lint, pity.

Click on over here to support me.

And remember, it's not going to me, but the United Way, so even if you hate me you can still watch me suffer while supporting a good cause.

I'll be chronicling my heart-attack inducing progress over the month and I'm hoping to get some training and race-day advice from a REAL marathon runner, my friend Mark over at A Passion For Running will be dropping in with some much needed assistance.

So, help me out. By supporting me you increase the likelihood that I'll either die in training or die during the race...a win/win all around!

Enfin... niet speciaal voor de seks ofzo... gewoon zomaar...
(maar héél af en toe is dat wel leuk meegenomen natuurlijk) :-)

'k Vindt het wel jammer dat ik altijd ALLEEN moet gaan. Met twee lijkt me toch leuker. Je kan bv. dan nog een babbeltje slaan in de jacuzzi. Want alleen in zo'n groot bubbelbad zitten is toch ook maar niks hé. :?

"Almost"

I... LOVE... IT... :cool:

That is, unless you've got great tits.

Oh... and your tits are British.

I received a tip (that was a tip, not a tit ) from a friend and what I learned was alarming!

 "Researchers found that great tits are laying eggs earlier in the spring than they used to, keeping step with the earlier emergence of caterpillars.

Writing in the journal Science, they point out that the same birds in the Netherlands have not managed to adjust."

Now, I wasn't sure I cared all that much about tits from the Netherlands, but I was truly upset to learn that somehow, those British tits are doing better than our North American birds. Perhaps it's because of a certain British old fart git, who tries so hard to get my goat every now and again, but I have this inner voice that just will not allow me to concede defeat to a Brit.  

So this cannot be. British tits somehow figuring out how to adapt to a new worldly weather order, and North American birds floundering? We North Americans must band together and do something drastic!

I, determined to find some North American tits that were enjoying the warmer weather, set out to do just so. To my utter and devastating dismay, I learned something awful.

There are no great tits in North America!

There is simply no way any tit-loving North American could stand for this. Great tits in North America must be located.

As anyone who knows the fracas can attest to, all it takes to fire me up is the chance that there's an injustice happening. Quicker than you could say Olga, The Traveling Bra, I'd bolted from my chair and had out the poster paper, markers and sticks; protest signs raring to go and a phoning tree organized.

I was determined to find some great tits in North America... I just needed help.

Within the hour, there we were, a small but very vocal group with protest signs waving in the wind and our hearts beating with the excitement of knowing that we were doing something so valuable it would certainly go down in the record books as nothing short of heroic! After all... we were saving North America from the embarassment of being a land where no great tits can be found. We were small in numbers, but great in spirit and determination not to allow the British to be known as the land of great tits. 

We couldn't have felt any prouder. It was a feeling everyone should experience at least once in their lives.

How were we to know though, that this glory would be short-lived? We'd only been on duty less than an hour when it happened. There was a fury of flashing lights, sirens (and a news camera or two) and before you know it, there we were in a holding cell, waiting for our loved ones to fetch us.

Honestly, I don't see what we did wrong.

The arresting officer couldn't keep from laughing (and oddly, staring at all the good, kind souls who were inspired by our signs.) He kept mumbling something under his breath that sounded like 'Wikipedia' and 'Damn Fools.'

I suppose had I checked Wikipedia, I'd have known that indeed, North America does have some great tits... we just call them something else.

Who could blame me though? Everyone knows you shouldn't rely on Wikipedia for your information... don't they?

In the end, I may have spent a little time in the slammer, suffered a few indignities and wasted a few dollars on making those signs, but it was all worth it to defend the honor of Great (North American) Tits.

I just hope the judge understands.

If you too, support Great Tits in North America, please show your support by sharing this post and showing the fracas that a little jail time was worth it.

Read more about Great Tits:

• Great tits cope well with warming (And a hat tip to Mike for the story!)
• Great tits enjoying the warmer weather - so far (Image source.)
• GREAT TIT (Parus major): SPECIES ACCOUNTS
• Wikipedia results for Tit (bird)
• Wikipedia results for Great Tit
• Wikipedia results for Blue Tit
• All About Titmice

And hey... you know this is Humor-Blog worthy!

Keep the neighbors up at night!
Buy a Yowl-A-Lele.

So Gizmodo is reporting that a game developer really is planning on releasing a Wii pole dancing game. I don't know if I believe it or not, but it's a mildly amusing tidbit nonetheless. Check out Gizmodo's take here.

[Creative Commons photo - don't even know]

I can't really figure out the logistics of it. Do you strap the nun-chuck to your, umm, bits and the wiimote to your chestular region? Can't really see it. And, as the Running Blogfather pointed out when he tipped me to this, do you think it comes bundled with a G-string?

Really, the best part of all of this was the video Gizmodo included with their post. Those crazy Germans will fight over anything:

This blog should distract you

fromthe mediocrity of existence

for a good two hours.

it distracted me for many more hours

Choose your distraction:

sQuotes

Hilarity is the best thing for all forms of "life-ache", especially boredom. I have hand-picked the finest Demetri Martin, Mitch Hedberg & Jack Handey quotes for your amusement, add your own, the Demetri Martin post has turned into a huge database of all of the funnies he ever made thanks to comments.

Visual amusement

I'm not a drug addict, I'm a "substance enthusiast". As such, I have amalgamated some material on the following topic - pictures, experiences, ridiculous theories of the mind formed on hallucinogens and dissociative anaesthetics, that sort of thing. If you too are a "substance enthusiast", or if you suffer from self restraint but want to know what it's like, click below.

Drugs

I also have a few entries which are best described as "mind-vomit" – I touch type, and sometimes the effects of the aforementioned "substances" make me inspired and motivated to expel the contents of my brain into wordpress. If you want to see inside someone's head, these may prove interesting, or terrifying, but definitely distracting.

Mind-Vomit

I've also written a few rants disparaging a wide range of things, which you will appreciate to the extent that you recognize the joy that can be derived from the mocking of imbeciles; do let me know if you are an insult connoisseur yourself. If you happen to be one of the dim-witted individuals that I rip on, I encourage you to comment if I have insulted you, for your remarks will no doubt unravel a new dimension of retardation on your part.

Mocking

I am trying to cure the stupidity of the masses, not just pinpoint and ridicule it. Mostly I attempt this in a structured "essay-like" form, only because that's the best way to convey a coherent argument. Have no fear, they are not the tedious, mind-numbingly dry essays that educational facilities require one to churn out; they have a healthy dose of ridiculousness and inappropriateness, otherwise I would not suggest them as distractions from boredom but, rather, potential causes. I'll put more up as I sift through my computer and find them, they shall be philosophy/psychology-based, with a particular focus on tearing down religion; they should interest someone who doesn't just want to distract themselves from the shortcomings of life indefinitely; creatures who actually want to do something about the state of things, if they exist.

Essays

That's about it, time for ye to go back to the tedium of reality.

More a collection of theme park mini-games rather than a clone of Theme Park, Wonder World includes thirty different mini-games that mirror classic carnival rides.

Going through the screenshots, we can identify a shooting gallery, coconut stall and an eating contest. We've obviously been visiting the wrong carnival rides if these are representative of some of the stuff you can find at them.

Wonder World will include four-player support that Majesco hopes will allow the whole family to play together. Whoopty do.

Courtesy of CVG.

Apr 30, 2008

You see, because of him and his planned attack on Robert, a fellow Canadian, I very nearly lost some of my fraccy bits and pieces.

I know.

You're as outraged as I am now, aren't you?

It seems that Olga the Traveling Bra went to spend some time with Speedcat, and (as if any of us are surprised) as a true member of the male gender, how do you think Speedcat is entertaining Olga?

Going to the movies? A nightclub? A friendly backyard barbecue gathering with all his friends (to which I'm quite certain Frank, the Sedentary Jockstrap would've made the trip to attend), or even a day spent at local museums and art galleries?

Noooooooooo.

No, Speedcat chose to entertain Olga by using her as a catapult to launch messy, sticky jelly donuts into the sky in hopes that they would come down on poor Robert. Though he launched two donuts, only one came down on Robert... and that my friends is where the fracas enters the picture.

It seems one of the donuts went astray and there was fallout. The story (from here on) gets a bit graphic though. Please only continue reading if you think you can handle talk of nudity and violence.

I, like another of Hollydale's aquaintances, had heard about Nekkid Gardening Day, and like Wendy, reasoned that I could in fact, get more accomplished in the garden without the burden of clothes. After all, don't swimmers shave their bodies to make better time? I have a large yard. Gardening without clothes seemed to be the perfect solution for how to get more of this nasty spring cleanup done in less time. Being on a corner, I have only one neighbour to worry about and I knew for sure they were gone.

There I was, in solidarity with Wendy, when I heard that ominous whistling sound a gal like me only knows from watching old WWII movies. A bomb? Couldn't be. Not only am I Canadian, but I live in Saskatchewan! No one is interested in bombing Saskatchewan! I mean, according to everything everyone knows... we're just flat land here and a bomb wouldn't even do any real damage anyway. In fact, a crater or two placed correctly, with a few good rains afterwards, might even be a good thing. We do like our lakes up here. Gives us all somewhere to go for summer holidays, since everyone knows there's nothing else exciting here!

I looked up and couldn't believe my eyes. Heading towards me with the fury of a teenage boy after his first dirty magazine, was none other than a battery of sprinkles.

Donut sprinkles.

I, like a character from a Mission Impossible movie, dove, rolled and narrowly escaped being peppered with shrapnel-like bits of candy.

It was then that I remembered I was gardening nekkid, and while the fraccy bits and pieces are still intact, I have suffered a bit of lawn-burn in some very inconvenient places.

I have recorded (for evidence) the sprinkles in the fraccy lawn. You'll just have to take my word on the lawn-burn. Well... unless there happens to arrive in my paypal, some substantial "donations" at which point I may post photos of the fraccy burns.

This, my dear fraccers, is why I am terribly upset with Hollydale. I've been thinking about what he could possibly do to make up for all of my pain and suffering and I think I've found the answer. Of course, there's always this too.

If not... I suppose I could add his name to the cauldron's "to do" list. If he's not sure which is his better option, he might want to ask someone with experience... or even Shinade (though I've never used the cauldron on her, she may be able to attest to such things since she is a regular fraccer). In fact, if it wasn't for her making Hollydale's crime known to fracas, I may never have known who was to blame for my suffering.

Although this incident was no laughing matter, perhaps you'll find something funny over at Humor-Blogs. If you, like me, think Hollydale owes me a pair of shoes an apology for my pain and suffering... share this post with others. Perhaps we'll convince him with some good old peer pressure!

 

Click on the image to see the original, larger image.

:lol:

It's almost as good as Bob Loblaw.  Or the original Po-Ta-Toe.

I know.

You have no idea what I'm talking about.

That happens to me fairly often. (I think it's from spending too much time hanging around Daddy Papersurfer and John C.)

What I'm talking about, is how those folks over at Humor-Blogs knew that I am, no matter how hard I try to make people think otherwise... half evil.

Isn't that uncanny?

Check it out. A picture says a thousand words.

And just be glad I used a picture this time.

Addendum:

I told you so. No sooner had I posted this, than I found a post from none other than Diesel (Mr. Humor-Blog himself) about what?

Good and Evil.

It seems there is evil happening at his house too.

I like being right. It suits me.

This feels nice.

I'm sitting at my desk on a cloudy Sunday afternoon while John Mayer serenades me with "Why Georgia" and Kobe shows off his one-handed dunks for me on ESPN. The computer model I've been working on for the past week has somehow completed itself and looks pretty accurate, so I'm carefree at the moment. It reminds me of home. I wish all Sundays could be this pleasant.

I woke up this morning and discovered that our bathroom door is handle-less.  Somebody stole our door handle. At first I was annoyed because hello, how are we supposed to get OUT of the bathroom? But now I'm amused because our current handle is a strap of duct tape that you tug on to pull the door open. College at its best...I swear.

C'est la vie,
Chappie

In populaire online games zoals Second Life en World of Warcraft kunnen deelnemers allerlei rijkdommen vergaren, zoals speciale wapens, goederen of virtueel geld. Die kunnen vaak direct of indirect zoals via veilingsites zoals eBay, worden ingewisseld voor echt geld. Of je kunt met echt geld virtuele goederen kopen zoals meubels bij Habbo Hotel. En er gaat een hoop geld om in deze virtuele werelden. Zo schreef de Volkskrant in 2005 al: "Volgens schattingen gaat dit jaar in de sprookjeseconomieën achthonderd tot negenhonderd miljoen dollar om".¹ Het is zelfs zo'n lucratieve business dat de belastingdienst er ook een graantje van wil meepikken: "Verschillende populaire online spellen hebben een bloeiende economie. In onder meer de Verenigde Staten en Groot-Brittannië onderzoekt de overheid daarom of op virtuele bezittingen belasting kan worden geheven."² Er zijn zelfs extreme vormen zoals kinderarbeid in China, waar kinderen gedwongen worden de spellen te spelen om zo virtueel geld te verdienen wat kan worden omgeruild voor echt geld³.

Maar dan wat dichter bij huis: ook jouw computer is niet helemaal veilig:  waar echt geld omgaat op het Internet worden ook de kwaadwillenden actief. Er valt veel te verdienen in de handel in de persoonlijke informatie van deze  gamers. Denk aan gestolen creditcardgegevens, toegangscodes, betaalinformatie, etc. Zeker de helft van de online games die worden gemaakt voor marketingdoeleinden, zogenoemde advergames, wordt gehackt(4). En inmiddels is er vorig jaar eind november voor het eerst is in Nederland (14-11-2007) een verdachte opgepakt vanwege diefstal van virtuele goederen (5).  Dit sluit aan op de trend dat steeds meer malware (virussen, spyware, adware en overige ongewenste software) wordt gemaakt door criminele organisaties, puur uit winstbejag. De computers van online gamers lopen dus een verhoogd risico op inbraken en misbruik. En computers van actieve online gamers zijn extra waardevol voor misbruikers, omdat deze doelgroep bij uitstek krachtige computers heeft en lange perioden achtereen online is. Ideaal dus om hier ongemerkt spam vanaf te versturen, of illegale websites op te plaatsen.

De meeste gamers zetten hun beveiliging uit, omdat het de prestaties van de computer beinvloedt, waardoor je de game minder goed kunt spelen. De prijs die ze hiervoor betalen is alleen erg hoog. De deur staat hiermee namelijk wagenwijd open voor cybercriminelen die malware plaatsen om wachtwoorden en toegangscodes uit te lezen en de computer misbruiken als spam-machine. Een snelle game, of misbruik van je persoonsgegevens, de keus lijkt ineens niet meer zo moeilijk...  

Albert Verhulst

Security Information Consultant

SpicyLemon

¹ bron: http://www.volkskrant.nl/economie/article147402.ece

² bron: http://www.beleidsimpuls.nl/belasting_virtueel_bezit.php

³ bron: http://webwereld.nl/articles/43274/-kinderarbeid-in-world-of-warcraft-.html

4 bron: http://www.nu.nl/news/1539210/55/rss/Hackers_misbruiken_online_%27advergames%27.html

5 bron: http://www.politie-amsterdam-amstelland.nl/frameset/get.cfm?id=6982

Welkom! Dit is uw stek voor het weekend. U kunt er onbekommerd verpozen. In uw ééntje of met anderen. Draai een plaat, zet een boom op, ram het prikbord over het hoofd van een medebezoeker, drink een glas, doe een plas en laat de tent voor wat ie was. De meer geëngageerde caféganger verwijzen we graag naar Vlunk Draait Door op de Zeiklounge. U betreedt beide lokaliteiten geheel op eigen risico!

Uw mededelingen en vragen kunt u op het prikbord kwijt. Het hangt nu permanent in dit Café. Maak er gebruik van!

Deze week bieden wij u i.v.m.  de 4 mei herdenking op zondag een tekst/topic.

Fijn weekend!

Oh, how I long for the return of the days when the air was free. We didn't have to pay for air. Air at one time was not a commodity to be packaged and sold. I guess there is an air shortage. There is not enough to go around. It is a wonder that after all of the tires in the world are filled with air, that there is still enough air left in the atmosphere to sustain life and for us to grow.  Of course, the oil companies would hold all living things responsible for creating an air shortage, such that there is not enough air left to put in the tires after all the living things in the world are done with it. That would be the reason for them charging us half a buck at the air pump.

While $s gain more dignity
if augmented 3 x 3 --
A 3 whose slender curves are pressed
By banks, for compound interest;
Oh, would that, paying loans or rent,
My rates were only 3%!

3² expands with rapture free,
And reaches toward infinity;
3 complements each x and y,
And intimately lives with π.
A circle's # of °
Are best ÷ up by 3s,
But wrapped in dim obscurity
Is √(-3).

Atoms are split by men like me,
But only God is 1 in 3.