Things are going well at work and, although there is a bit of a "Tower" thing in my personal life  (my computer recently died of old age, and this is at least part of what the vultures and 411 spoke of), things are still going pretty well otherwise.  This all reminds me of my "Peace Eagle" blog...so many messages all tying together.  The "Tower" energy destroys the old, and then the "the peace eagle" (vulture) represents clearing it all away for a fresh new beginning.

Relative to the peace theme, I recently wrote the following in a comment on my blog, "Talking Trees." 

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Um, I'm still doing that unfortunately, but I'm not giving up on finding the "cure."  :)   The thing is, I know the cure, the problem is breaking through the blocks, the subconscious fear, I have about that unfamiliar thing.

I caught myself, (er, actually the Tarot caught me, heh) this morning reaching back to those old patterns -- a big bunch of negative thinking.  Letting it override my awareness of the perils in doing such a thing.  So I asked the Tarot about the issue my mind was trying to stir up.  Sometimes the Tarot will totally ignore the question and simply show us what's really important.  The card I first drew was the 4 of Swords -- my mind said, "Peace."  It's a card about resting, withdawing after troubles to find healing and peace.  I drew a "clarity" card, the Hermit card.  It's about withdrawing, getting quiet...  I drew yet another card, Two of Swords.  With that one, very much a "peace" card -- especially beside those others, it was apparent that the Universe was advising me to clear out all that negative thinking, and find peace.  So grateful for my Tarot...

If that wasn't a strong enough message, while getting ready for work and putting my make-up on, a memory of an item I loved as a kid popped into my mind.  A choker that I wore in junior high (the 70's).  It was a simple suede band, gorgeous deep burgundy color, a cool teardrop-shaped gold peace sign dangled from the center.  I loved it, and as I was wondering why the memory of it came to mind -- something I hadn't thought about in lotsa years, I realized it was yet another message of "Peace." :)  The Universe really has a lovely way of driving a point home, lol ;)

Then I started thinking about how it was a "choker."  Hmmm.  Seems kinda contradictory to peace.  Something that chokes -- and it "chokes" my throat, 5th chakra -- expression.  This seems to be an area in which I've long had a problem.  Holding back, choking it back, "swallowing" it all...  No outlet for so many years for a lot of creativity. Having done pretty much nothing in the area of creativity for most of my life, I now wanna do it all ... writing, painting, sculpting, web design, photography, filmmaking ... 

Years ago, the only time I've ever tried this thing called "scrying" -- a type of divination -- I saw some wild, but very interesting, visions.  Ya' look into a mirror until ya' "see" something.  Among the things I saw was an arm that reached out to choke me.  It brought tears when I realized it was my arm.  Oh shit, I'm here at work, in public, and the memory of that is bringing tears.  Okay-okay, doing the eye-fanning thing now, lol ;)

But I've made a lot of progress since then, lotsa learning, lotsa growing, and finally starting to express all that held-back stuff, and doing that all-important creating -- in those fleeting moments when I can wrestle my resistance to the ground, heh  It's really just beginning though -- I still feel like there's a volcano of creativity inside me, so much to express, release, create :)  I know that creating thing is so very important for our health and PEACE of mind.  We are meant to create -- we are "creators."  (Little "gods" if you will.)  It is essential for our healing, and consequently for the healing of the world, crucial so as to find true peace, "Heaven on Earth" :)

Peace,
Dove

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By Dove, www.TarotwithLove.com  Lordy, there's so much synchronicity here, it's gonna be a challenge to remember it all.  Okay, on "Magic Monday" I got the number 411...  And then the Vulture totem last Saturday (exactly a week ago)... 

So yesterday was the day, 4-11-08.  Nothing really spectacular happened, but I've gotten dates in the past and the "thing" happened the day before or after.  A "spectacular" thing happened today, Saturday, 4-12-08.  The second major car accident next to my workplace since I've been here (the first was about a year and a half ago, a Jaguar and a semi, head-on collision...)   That one foretold a major "Tower" (Tarot card) experience for me that began about a month or so later -- lasted about 4 months, but had a "happy ending."  Geez, I'm hoping this one isn't foretelling anything similar, I've been rode hard by those "Tower" experiences in the last few years...  And I just noted that the Vulture is on the Animal-Wise Tarot's Tower card.  Lovely.  Even so, I'm hoping this one is pointing more toward the blissful end of "enlightenment" and since it seems to be tied to the 411(information?) ... and "magic," maybe that's the case.  Hmm, nice, I just got a "freedom" message -- that's another interpretation for the Tower card, and healing is yet another.  And all of those are kinda intermingled...

This accident today (Saturday, 12th) I could have been a perfect witness for if I'd just been looking up from my desk -- I could see the aftermath perfectly from my desk chair.  But a co-worker actually had to draw my attention to it.  He told me the details.  I noticed the car that had caused the accident was yellow, it was totalled...I could see the front all crunched in.  I focused on the yellow, the color of the third chakra, solar plexus.  Noted that this is where the energy of our "will" is, it also makes me think of the sun (something I feel I'm still not getting enough of for my health/healing).  I found it intriguing that the cars landed almost exactly where all the vultures were swirling last Saturday.  The red car was the one hit, it flipped a couple of times and then landed back on its wheels.  That driver hopped out of the passenger side, seemed okay...at first.  He got on his cell phone and then dropped to the ground.  A guy here said he must have been pumped with adrenaline, unaware he was hurt -- the other guy seemed okay.

One fire truck was in my view, it had the number 2 on it.  It reminded me of how I'd been seeing the Two of Cups in the Tarot a lot lately.  That card often speaks of a love connection, but I think it's been referencing my healing during this time -- maybe both.  Hmmm, a reference to healing...is my "will" all crunched up (the yellow car) and/or is this yet another message that I'm not getting enough sun?  And has/does my crunched-up will adversely affect my root chakra (red car, spins wildly, but still manages to land upright)?   Root chakra is about the physical (grounding, health, prosperity).  I'm doing okay at the moment, better than in a long time -- but am I just running on "adrenaline" (like the guy who didn't know he was hurt)?  That adrenaline thing is certainly an issue with me, I'm invariably panting when I arrive to work (from my rush to get here), can't seem to shake that "need" to feel panicked... Just one of the many "issues" that I feel reflects trauma from childhood...

A few days ago I did have a less earth-shaking "Tower" experience and I feel this might have been part of the reference to this week (the 4-11-08 message), and I'm in the process of "healing" it.  I had planned part of that for this evening, but kept getting negative signs all day, and this car accident was the final straw.  I called and cancelled my plans.  Ahhh, I immediately felt better -- yep, my "gut" was telling me this wasn't the day for this important "outing" ...

Wow, just so much overlapping "stuff" here.  But the trees part of it fascinates me.  Where I had planned on going this evening (but will now be going next week), the route there involves three streets, and I noticed they all have tree names (Ash, Walnut, etc)   That seemed so cool...  So I searched for the symbolic meaning of a couple of them just now and they both are on point as to what's been coming up in the last few days.  Like yesterday -- I did a comment on a friend's blog, {< -- Update:  I had the wrong link for the comment on sacrifice, but it's corrected now) speaking of the Hanged Man card and sacrifice...  She and I also had an awesome synchronicity the day before 4-11 (on April 10th), see the first two comments.  "Double Magic"? ;)  Another sync with she and I is, well, "wood" is sort of a synchronous connection between she and I.  Oh, man, there's so much it's hard to even write it all here.   I forgot...right after I made the call to cancel my plans for this evening, and felt the relief of doing that, of trusting all the negative "vibes" I'd been feeling about it all day, I looked outside and noticed a license plate on a car parked in our lot that said, "Elm." :)  Yet another tree.  Here's the Elm interpretation I found:

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Elm tree symbolism includes strength of will and intuition. During the 18th and 19th centuries, elms were popular as ornamentals by virtue of their rapid growth and variety of foliage and forms. This popularity lasted until World War I when the consequences of hostilities, notably in Germnany, and the outbreak of Dutch elm disease saw the elm slide into horticultural decline. Elm wood is valued for its interlocking grain, and consequent resistance to splitting, with significant uses in wheels, chairs and coffins. The wood is also resistant to decay when permanently wet, and hollowed trunks were widely used as water pipes during the medieval period in Europe.

Source:  http://www.livingartsoriginals.com/infoforests.htm

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Now the place where I was supposed to go (but, again, I cancelled/postponed) was on Ash.  Here's the Ash symbolic meaning...

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Ash tree symbolism includes sacrifice, sensitivity and higher awareness. The wood is white, strong, and straight-grained. Ash is the timber of choice for production of baseball bats and tool handles. The wood is also favorable for furniture and flooring. Ash is a large deciduous tree with smooth, gray bark on young trees which becomes fissured with age. The leaves are green above, white below, and turn yellow, red, or purple in the fall.

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Two other "secondary" streets were part of this, but I didn't see them on this site, so maybe they aren't as significant.  Anyway, I just had a minute to put a bit of this here...  There's really so much more, like with the stuck door here at work, which everyone tried to fix and no one could yesterday (mentioned it on above-linked blog).  It was finally fixed this morning.  A resistance (mine, it would seem) message...  So it's all about resistance, will, sacrifice, healing.  But thankfully, the door was finally fixed today :)

OH MY GAWD -- I just looked out the window, and in the very same parking spot where the car was with the "ELM" on the tag is a truck and guess what the number is on the license plate :) ...  4 1 1 ...  I'm talking a couple of minutes, between seeing those two.  So the Universe is tying the meaning of the "Elm" symbol to the 411 message.

This is just PART of what I've seen today -- the synchronicity is so prolific sometimes.  It's like it's growing to a much higher "intensity" in my life.  So awesome, so amazing -- the tree symbolism is so cool!  I'm just trying to convey to those who think I dream all this up or something that this life is so magical, but it only becomes so when we open our eyes to it... 

The thing is, I've seen things like this for years, but what's different and so exciting in this moment is the time factor -- it's happening so much more quickly.  Like on "Magic Monday," I was stunned to see the 411's just ping-ping-ping like that, within minutes of each other -- just like the "Elm" and today's "411."  That's a rush, even for someone who already knows the magic of it all :)

And the more we see it, the more we see it :)  Sorry I typed this so fast, it's kind of a jumbled mess and sooo much left out, but I just wanted to share the tree thing :) ... and the magic.  This reality is not at all what MOST PEOPLE THINK.  It's in no way mediocre, it is totally magical...we are totally magical.  BUT, the way it works...if a magician (the way the Tarot references us) believes this reality is all mediocre, then mediocre it is -- we're Magicians :)  We always get to choose (will) -- and that's something I "heard" often when I first began to do readings.  "It's your choice."  It's always our choice as to what reality we create.  It really is all just a different kind of a "dream" :) 

Now we just need to discover why we're creating a "dream" where we're manipulated, controlled and enslaved for the enrichment of others -- while this amazing dream slips through our fingers...  Hint, it's all rooted in fear, especially the fear of "death" from this dream, and simply taking it all too seriously...

Peace,
Dove

As I was reading over this overview, thoughts came up about a blog I was frequenting on here a while back -- trying to tweak the minds of a group of rabid skeptics.  I was sharing a few of my experiences with them, particularly with the Tarot.  Of course, it mattered not that they had zero experience in this regard (and I've now spent about a decade almost incessantly using the Tarot), they still scoffed at the prospect that what I spoke was the truth.  Since they'd already warmed up to me a bit, they first tried to be charitable and suggested that I was imagining all of this (heh), but it was clear that if that wasn't it, dishonesty had to be.  

I tried to not let it annoy me -- I s'pose I asked for it by sharing such things with people who believe nothing that their science tells them they shouldn't believe.  I remember posting my Edison post (where people mocked Edison -- scientists, and other lofty ones) on that thread, and there was a brief pause ... then one of them came back with something like, "Yeah, but those Edison things could be proved by science."  At that point, I moved on, because it was clear their minds weren't budging -- but I was like, huh?  Then, why were highly regarded scientists among those who scoffed at and mocked Edison? ...

My next thoughts were about a guy in my past.  My cards have actually referenced him as a "fool" (several times) in the negative sense (but there is also a positive take on the fool in the Tarot).  The way he thinks boggles my mind, but I don't think he's that much different than many -- thinking that "success" is all about how much money you can make.  And so this guy is consumed by his work.  He sees no other way to become his version of a success.  I remember a few years ago when he started working this job, I told him that it was a prison, that it wasn't worthy of losing his health over.  I heard from him recently -- he said he'd been in the hospital a couple of times recently per lack of sleep...   What he doesn't seem to get is that the present dictates the future.  If it isn't balanced, the future won't be.  If you're not happy in the present, you won't be in the future either.  The thing is, you can do something in the present that might not be all that you wish for, BUT you must BALANCE it with what you do want.  That is, some energy MUST be put towards what you do want.  If you are currently neglecting and abusing your body for some pay-off in the future, there's no balance in that -- so stay tuned for a messed up body in the future.  But hey, you'll have lotsa money to go to the hospital and docs a lot...

It's insanity.  Our bodies, our health, are PRICELESS.  Ya' can't go out and buy a new body -- NO MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE.  Ask someone who has no sight, but lotsa money what they'd pay for the gift of sight.  Someone with no legs what they'd pay to have them back?  ...  And yet so many of us sacrifice our lives, our health, so as to make money -- to buy STUFF.  Geez. 

Actually it isn't insanity, or even stupidity (usually), it's what the above-mentioned book speaks of.  A kind of brainwashing via "paradigms."  And I would add that we keep doing this over and over, because the promise of what it supposedly brings (happiness, or even real security, per money/power), never actually happens -- but we think (per the paradigms) that it will if we just work a little more, a little harder...  And then maybe ya' get "there," but all you discover is that you've been a fool...you've been duped into sacrificing your precious body, life, health, TRUE HAPPINESS...for a pile of green paper, a false sense of security/safety, a mountain of material stuff that's momentarily gratifying but ultimately suffocating, and an illusion of power...  All you truly have in those things is NOTHING, but you've lost so much in this FINITE life...

It's time to "wake up."  And this book is a good place to start :)  Read the overview of the "The Paradigm Conspiracy" here.  And then also realize that you ARE the power, it's all about what you believe... And it will be those who are endeavoring to overcome the brainwashing that will truly be powerful in the future, not those who continue to put their total focus and efforts in the outer world, all the while destroying their bodies, and consequently dishonoring the real power -- within them.

Peace,
Dove

• Lack of self trust
• Feeling unlovable or unworthy
• Lack of confidence
• Fear of playing bigger

As Debbie pointed out, recognizing the problem is the first step. Making a different choice follows and then shifting the constrictive belief (I always sabotage myself=I’m not good enough) into an expansive belief (I trust myself to make the best choices for me) helping us make the changes we desire. Check out Debbie at http://www.outrageousbusinessgrowth.com

Solution: We are all carrying unconscious beliefs in different areas of our lives which may stem from one core lie we told ourselves. Noticing and recognizing it’s simply our mind trying to protect us from harm is important. You can only change what you see.

Healthier Choice: Choose an expansive belief over a constrictive belief. You can tell the difference because expansion flows naturally and energizes while constrictive beliefs feel limiting and zap our energy.

Tried & True Tip: This is a technique I learned from a mentor and teacher: The next time you find yourself contracting rather than expanding, pay close attention to how your body feels and where you are feeling the constriction, what thoughts are running through your mind and emotional distress. Next, amplify the discomfort and keep revving it up. At some point it will pop like a balloon releasing the tension. This is especially helpful for physical pain. Pain comes from resistance and when we amp it up, there’s a saturation point where it simply breaks loose and flow is restored.

Then this morning, I casually did a Google search with the phrase "too much adrenaline."  I clicked on a link and freakily enough, I began reading about a "therapy" for CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) called the "Lightning Process" :)  But I don't get it, all it seems to encompass, for the most part, is stopping our negative thinking. 

It ties in with the mind-body connection (and the "Secret" -- it's all our energy, that's where the power is.  That is the real "secret.").  But it seems to be a very determined, repetitive effort -- and I like the cards part :)  Excellent.  I just don't see why we can't do this for ourselves at home, rather than zipping off to Wales :)  But I think it's awesome that many are being healed with this "Lightning Process."  Ah, it's exciting, just a matter of time before so many more of us get it -- that we have the pow-uh! :)

Here's an excerpt (and the gist of it) from the article (see link below to read the rest of the article) on the "Lightning Process."

Peace,
Dove

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The first step is to recognise the thoughts that trigger the stress reaction, such as: 'I'm worried that I'm not going to be well enough to go out shopping,' or 'I'm never going to get my school work finished.'

To stop the triggering thought, the ME sufferer must firmly say: 'Stop,' to themselves half way through the thought. This physically 'cuts off' the stress response to stop it from progressing.

The next step is to create new, more positive thought patterns to replace the negative ones. For example, instead of worrying about not being able to do something because you will feel ill, you are taught to imagine feeling well and being able to do that activity.

The theory is that this creates new connections in the brain, which then stimulate the production of endorphins - feel-good brain chemicals - rather than stress hormones such as adrenaline.

The patient has to continue using the process repeatedly until their ME symptoms have abated. To help the process, special cards with key words - such as 'the present moment', and 'stop' - are placed in a pattern on the floor. The idea is that stepping on the cards reinforces the thought process.

You start with the 'present moment' card (which represents the need to stay in the here and now, and not dwell on fears about the future), then move on to the 'stop' card to cut off the triggering thoughts. As you perfect the technique, you no longer need to step on the cards but can visualise them until it becomes second nature.

'It sounded a bit weird at first,' says Leonie, 'but after practising over the weekend, it really worked.'

Within two days of her treatment, she was walking unaided along the beach with her mother. 'I telephoned my father and said: "Guess what I'm doing?" He was so gobsmacked he couldn't speak for five minutes,' she says. She then folded up her wheelchair and told her mother: 'I will never use this again.' One year on, Leonie is still feeling great.

Three months after his sister's recovery, Adam also made the trip to Wales. He is now back at college and learning to drive.

But the Lightning Process does not work for everyone. As well as the success stories, ME chatrooms feature the 'failures' for whom the approach has not been effective.

Mary-Jane Willows, chief executive of the UK Association of Young People with ME, believes it's important to exercise caution before embarking on unproven treatments.

'While we have heard of members who have been helped by undertaking the Lightning Process and are thrilled for them, we are aware of others for whom the outcome was less than positive. We cannot recommend this therapy or others for children where there is no clinical data or research available.'

Dr Neil Abbot, director of operations at ME Research UK, is sceptical about adrenaline playing a role in the condition. 'We should like to see some evidence that there is an adrenaline rise in ME sufferers, and if there is, whether lowering adrenaline induces a "lightning" cure,' he says.

'The only thing that will create general acceptance of the principles and treatment techniques applied by the Lightning Process will be large-scale tests.'

But while the jury is still out in the medical world, among those for whom it has worked there is absolutely no doubt.

Source:  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=427537&in_page_id=1774

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Hmmm, it makes me wonder ... if any or all of these guys below knew just how literally true these declarations were/are.

.....................................................................

"We become what we think about all day long"
Ralph Waldo Emerson

"We tend to get what we expect"
Norman Vincent Peale

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right"
Henry Ford

"This world is but canvas to our imaginations"
Henry David Thoreau 

I had my second of three teleseminars on ‘rabbit holes’ with Debbie Bermont today. The first session was about identifying our rabbit holes (see 2-20-08 blog post) and today’s was about navigating around our rabbit hole to stay in ease and flow. You can learn more about Debbie at http://www.outrageousbusinessgrowth.com.

Debbie discussed our choices of A, B or C game plans:

• A we are on target, in the flow, expansive. . .feeling terrific and loving life
• B we are plodding along. . .everything is O.K. comfortable, routine, familiar, may have a feeling something is missing
• C we are in our rabbit hole. . .constrictive, feeling confined and boxed in, in lack and fearful

I have found B and C to be most prevalent and since humans gravitate toward safe and familiar, it’s easy to continue to hang out in our ‘safety zone’. Lately, I’m finding ‘safe’ is boring and feeling more and more uncomfortable.

Concerning our health, it’s important to know the limiting beliefs we hold and what triggers binging, over eating and health sabotage. Debbie shared a personal story I relate to--she’s doing well on her weight loss program, making good progress and suddenly she begins to regain the weight. In exploring her ‘trigger’, she discovered an unconscious belief: as soon as she was close to her goal she could eat anything she wanted. It was then she was able to modify her behavior and continue to eat healthier and stop the yo-yo cycle of weight loss and gain.

Solution: Ask what is keeping you from reaching your health goals? Do you recognize a pattern? Does it feel familiar?

Healthier Choice: Simply observe your behavior and accept it for what it is—an ingrained belief or pattern. This is the first step toward change. My favorite phrase in this observation only stage is saying “there I go again” with a smile.

Tried & True Tip: For one week simply monitor when you find yourself falling off your health wagon, noticing the triggers and dialogue in your mind. My favorite response to negative internal dialogue came from a wise teacher as he seriously said, “When the monkey mind begins there is only one way to quiet it.” We all leaned forward and waited in anticipation for his response. Very deliberately, he said “here is what you do when your mind is running amuck. . .say “liar liar pants on fire”. Now, that’s easy to remember and fun to do!

Sometimes I am triggered and sabotage living and eating healthier. I don’t even realize I’m in my rabbit hole until I head for the goodies in my pantry. I was so pleased with myself last night when the Girl Scout cookies were delivered and everyone else in the family was enjoying munching on my two favorite flavors. I really wasn’t tempted (well, maybe a teensy bit) but I’ve been doing so well staying away from processed sugar, I consciously chose not to have even one—it’s always the first one that leads me down the path to added poundage.

I really like Debbie’s metaphor of a rabbit hole because I can hop out when I sense ‘danger’. I invite you to think about healthier living challenges causing you to stumble into your rabbit hole. And, if the hole feels like home sweet home, you may want to contact Debbie.

Solution: Become aware of what triggers you into unhealthier eating and living.

Healthier Choice: Once aware, consciously choose to make a healthier choice.

Tried & True Tip: If emotional overwhelm feels all too familiar, you may want to contact someone who has been there done that and navigates around their rabbit hole successfully or seek professional help.

Have you ever noticed how some people seem accepting, happy and peaceful while dealing with life threatening heath situations and others wallow in their misery. Yes, it’s easier to be happy when you’re healthy but I’ve come to believe happiness is possible even when people are struggling with health issues. I’ve heard more than one person say when confronted with a debilitating or life threatening disease that they actually gave thanks because the situation caused them to wake up and be thankful for all they did have and they became happier throughout their treatment and afterwards had a new outlook on life.

I believe happier people take better care of themselves and can be healthier and am beginning to wonder if an unhappy person can ever be truly healthy. So, I invite you to decide what makes your truly happy and just do it!

Solution: Scientific research has proven people who are happier live longer than people who are not. Happy people also have fewer illnesses and earn more money.

Healthier Choice: Choose what makes you happy in all areas of your life.

Tried & True Tip: Don’t Worry Be Happy! Reduce stress and worry in your life by focusing on what brings you joy. . .a smile, a giggle, a belly laugh and what’s right in your life. Treat yourself to simple pleasures—fresh flowers, a walk on a sunny day, favorite music, a funny movie, reading, hugs and cuddles—whatever makes your feel warm, fuzzy and happy.

Lately, I’ve been doing my best to stay centered in the midst of chaos because of choices others in my household are making. By most people’s standards, the events are ‘serious’ and yet I sometimes find myself laughing at the absurdity of the need for humans to create so much drama in their lives.

I wonder if it’s more to feel more alive or to escape the pain. And, of course, there’s always addiction to drama and the ensuing adrenaline rush. While it’s likely a combination of all three, I believe addiction to drama is becoming more and more prevalent.

We’ve all read about daredevils who risk life and limb. Onlookers comment how they must have a ‘death wish’. I once read it is more of a life wish—in the midst of a ‘death defying’ feat, they become acutely aware of everything going on around them—feeling completely alive and present.

Adrenaline surges can be very beneficial in times of extreme duress or survival giving people complete presence of mind to run for their lives or lift cars off injured people. But, in everyday dramas, I observe the person often seems to be scattered, not even in their body or present at all—completely drawn out by external events.

The following is a quote from Who Are the Drama Queens In Your Life and How Do You React To Their Acts? “People addicted to drama are seeking that rush of adrenaline, or the thrill that the rush of energy brings them. For people that lead a very uninteresting or monotonous life, that rush of adrenaline helps them feel alive. It’s like a mother living her life through her children because her life has become mundane and flooded with boredom. Creating drama means stirring up the energy. Think of it as a thrill seeker trapped in a mundane life. Stirring up drama by creating family conflicts and blowing things out of proportion may be the only expression the thrill seeker has left.” You can read the entire article at http://healing.about.com/od/jodiefoster/a/dramaaddiction.htm

Solution: When drama happens and you find yourself getting drawn in, stop and assess what role you choose to play. Sometimes ‘tough love’ is necessary.

Healthier Choice: Remember all humans are the stars of their own lives and you can choose to be a co-star, part of the supporting cast, have a walk on part, direct or be in the audience. I choose the audience, it's much more entertaining.

Tried and True Tip: B-r-e-a-t-h-e. Deep breathing is the best way to stay present in your body and not be drawn out by another’s energy field. Also, you may ask what lesson can I learn from this about myself. Drink lots of water to stay hydrated and stay away from sugar and processed food which are additional stress on your body.

The name "Jack" often comes to me when I'm needing to sit and chat with my anger :)  That is, I'll begin to see that name everywhere.  Last night I saw it in a comment by my blog friend CV, but sometimes I let the first one go by.  But then just now I saw "Jack" again, twice, in the above-mentioned post.  An urgent call from Jack, and note how the article is right on point with it.  She mentions "Jack in the box" and there's a person commenting with the ID name "Jack."  Geez, why do I wince when I see it....because I know I'm going to have to endure discomfort in recognizing and processing my anger.

To add to this synchronicity, I drew a Tarot spread earlier today that showed me in a "Tower" mode.  That's a Tarot card that, for me, often represents a crucial build-up of energy.  Anger.  I've also discovered that it's often about being angry with myself.  And more often than not, I don't even feel consciously angry.  That's how efficient I've been in pushing it down and ignoring it over the years.  But this Tower will "explode" if I don't heed "Jack's" call soon.   That explosion for me is invariably an anxiety attack that can last from two to four hours, sometimes longer.  I have had these "anxiety attacks" every few days for the bulk of my adult life, and it seems they're almost impossible to avoid after I've been out in the public, around a lot of people.  I tend to take on the energy of others without realizing it...  

Like most people (and even when we know better), I don't like dealing with my so-called "negative" emotions.  They're not fun, it doesn't feel good, and I feel we've been brainwashed into having an aversion to them ("don't cry," "calm down!," "there's no reason to be angry," "you need to straighten up" ...)  And no doubt, we all like to keep going in that "happy" mode, even when it's a mask for not-so-happy, from denying that which we are, from dishonoring our powerful and precious emotions.

I wanted to add, before I go chat with Jack :)  (and do some physical exercise, 'cause "he" likes that) that I tend to draw people who also have this adrenaline addiction thing (like attracts like).  The guys that I've had ongoing relationships with are invariably work-aholics.  They are subconsciously drawn to doing work that puts a lot of stress on their bodies and minds... and jobs that keep them from really living life, from feeling the pain of life...  They prefer a life that is "dead" of emotion (including the sweet kind), and consequently their lives are a living "death."  Emotions are what make us feel ALIVE.  

My last guy was frickin' insane with a need to keep busy, he couldn't sit still for five minutes.  Seriously.  I'd never met anyone like him before, he was the poster child for Adrenaline Addiction, lol ;)  He actually took pride in his mad busy-ness, thinking himself above others because of it, thinking his driving himself this way was admirable so as to be what he deemed a "success." 

But the human body (and mind) can take only so much.  I had lived with a guy much older than him, also a work-aholic, also worked a job that put excessive stress on his body and mind...and he eventually "hit a wall" and had to get therapy because of it.  And I watched as he began to have his melt down...  All that "stuff" we're running from continues to build as we ignore it.  Year after year, it builds.  Some type of "explosion" is unavoidable after a certain point.  And that can range from harming another to harming oneself to getting a serious illness...

For my "like energy," it's not about being a success in the material world so much as a drive to be a success in my personal life -- that is, a need to have my immediate world "just right."  I'm continually organizing, cleaning, making notes, planning, working to keep "my world" highly efficient...  That's my obsession.  To a point that's a good thing, as is working hard in the "real world," but when it comes above one's physical health, mental health, our spiriutal growth, being kind and charitable to others. taking time for others, giving love and attention to those we care about,  then that's a problem.  

As I've written this post, I've become increasingly short of breath, a struggle to breathe right now...  I s'pose this is a sign of my fear with the whole idea of having to embrace, deal with, FEEL, these emotions, these aspects of myself that are deemed so "negative" by this society...

I hope to soon heal myself of this "adrenaline addiction," what I see as rooted in a desire to escape the pain of life by keeping the heart and mind racing.  Too busy to notice the pain.  I feel getting cozy with one's emotions (readily embracing all of them, "good" and "bad"), and facing and clearing old traumas, facing the fear of all of that, and adhering to the advice in the above article, is a potent step toward healing.

Peace,
Dove

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