Day before yesterday my rant centered on the price of candy. Yesterday it was a rant on how our school system, especially here in California is falling apart. And today I'm depressed about the fact that I am falling apart.

Such a foul dark cloud is over my head as I write. Hope this post will have some clarity.   

Kids! Let me be an example of HOW NOT TO LIVE YOUR LIFE!  Who am I to give advice, you ask. Well, I am a late bloomer that's who I am. Plus, I'm a real slow learner. 

Here we go... when I was young I gave up  my goal. Barbara Walters was big then. I was going to be her and know meet all the important people. I was going to uncover all the important news. 

But at 21 I got married and my goal changed to that of creating the perfect family. A noble goal. Just not always workable and often a bit of a pipe dream. Maybe I picked up my Mom's goal.  

And you want to know something funny? I wasn't able to attain that goal either. All I did was recreate the nightmare that was my childhood.

People with low self-esteem pick partners who are abusive, verbaly or physicially. Eventually they may get sick of it all and leave. But the truth is, unless they were tied and bound and shoved down the aisle, the choice was theirs to make.  

At 40, I found myself getting married for the third time. God! I swore I'd never do that.   The fiance was everything I never had. He listened when I talked. Told everyone how proud he was of me. Complimented me. Didn't feel threatened that I had my own interests. Plus, he always put the toilet seat down.  Really, people were jealous of us!

In and out of bridal stores, I ranted, "I must be the oldest bride in captivity. I must be insane."  I put this thought, and the other reacurring one that  "he MIGHT REALLY be too good to be true,"  right out of my head.  So I managed the trip down the aisle as the oldest bride with the longest hair in captivity.

Fifteen months pass and we have the regular ups and downs of any newlywed couple. How could I NOT have been wildly in love? The man built me a flower garden and pulled open the curtain for me to see. 

"Look honey," he proclaimed, "a beautiful woman like  you should only look at beautiful things every day."

Isn't your heart just melting???  Well, stop it! Because it was all a ruse!

Then it's December 2001. The day was clear, no rain. Moderate temperatures. My daughter Marianne, was driving home when she had a freak accident. She was 18 and had learned her tough lessons. Her life was back on track with two jobs and her return to school. 

[caption id="attachment_235" align="aligncenter" width="88" caption="Shut up!"][/caption]

It's my Cousin Itt impersonation brought on by a sudden realisation of how much reading I have to catch up on after watching too much of the Olympic synchronised divers in their budgie smugglers. Great stuff.

External Link.

In case you were wondering, the Black Knight and Addams Family are my all time favorites.

They've started showing those freaky M&M's character commercials again.

Those just wig me out.

Not the animated characters where the yellow and red M&M shapes talk, but the ones that have hair and glasses and actually sort of look like famous people.

Recently, they've been really promoting their dark chocolate M&M's for which they use the Addams Family sitcom characters as spokespeople. Weird and freaky. Not the actual Addams Family, but the M&M's versions.

And the commercials promoting their web site that have the "everyday folks" recreated as chocolate tidbits are even stranger. The cool hipster dude as M&M should never be seen. Why do they think this would increase my appetite for their candy?

Anyone can go to the site and create an M&M likeness.

I'll just warn you though, if you're looking for squirrel facial features and accessories, they are sorely lacking.

The woman in question was in her 60's (or so). She had long, stark white hair with a severe fringe cut across the forehead, pale skin and the oddest blue-purple lipstick I've ever seen. I see lots of odd fashions around Vancouver, so her style of clothing and hair didn't seem particularly strange, but as I remarked to Joe; what would make a person choose a lipstick that makes them look cyanotic?

Is there a market for looking corpsified and gross? I think maybe there is! So, in about 15 minutes I came up with a line of cosmetics to make you look fashionably dead. I decided to call the whole line Tish - after Morticia Addams who makes looking dead pretty damn attractive.

Here is a brief list of the colour palette that would be available:

Lips

• Cyanotic - eerie blue-purple in honour of the white haired lady.
• O-positive - bright arterial red
• B-negative - darker wine red
• Lacrima - clear and shiny lip gloss
• Hallow's Eve - deep purple-black (limited edition available in October only)

Eyes

• Wednesday's Revenge - mossy green
• Grave Dust - pale grey
• Twilight - purple-blue

Skin

• Foundation with powder ranging in colour from Bone to Fresh Earth to give all skin types that ethereal glow.

It goes without saying that all products would be 100% vegan - no testing on animals or draining the cuteness from puppies.

If you're going to buy premium makeup, you may as well have something stylish to carry it in, so there would be attractive and simple black travel bags well as larger hard cases for serious makeup lover. All cases would be made from recycled materials and could be recycled. Same for all the lipstick tubes, and powder compacts. Everything can be recycled so long as it is cleaned out and taken apart. 

That would be my makeup line, but it's already been done by Bloody Mary- they have some neat looking products (I've never tried them - but they do look cool). Failing that, everyone I've known who dressed goth bought their makeup at Shopper's Drugmart and it looked just fine.

In my head, the Tish makeup line has done very well and spawned a magazine dedicated to goth fashions, music and books and my makeup has been used in films that did really well at the box office. I have also been interviewed by lots of cool magazines.

Life in my head is pretty busy and glamorous.

So here we are again, another uncut edition of Cornshaq's very own "Play It Through." What is up this time around? Fester's Quest.

What's the deal with this game? Well, it's hard to say without really confusing you guys. You know Uncle Fester from the show 'The Addams Family'? Well, take that crazy old man and throw him in a top-down view shooting the hell out of invading space aliens.

I'm not kidding or anything, you really do play as Uncle Fester as you blast away (reappearing) space aliens. That's the gist of the game anyway, there's some weird 3D levels that are essentially pointless, some item collecting, stuff like that. But for the most part, this is a constant shooter that is the appropriate length for the game of the genre.

This game really isn't a classic by any means, in fact, it is pretty much universally panned by gamers, including a great review here by the Angry Video Game Nerd himself. The game might have a lot of flaws that bring it down, but at the very least, the notable thing about this game is its soundtrack. As with most Sunsoft games, the music is awesome and makes the game about 10x better than it actually is. It's also interesting to note that this game plays very similar in the top-down gameplay mechanic as Blaster Master, which was developed by the same company, Sunsoft.

Sunsoft might not have made a game in a long time, but they really have made their fair share of classic titles, such as Journey to Silius, the Blaster Master series, Clocktower and even a hand at the Myst games. Unfortunately, Fester's Quest does not fall into these categories of prestige, but goddammit, they made this.

Which is weirder, a bunch of Addams Family games, or a video game over the Jackass TV series? I don't know, man. Either way, enjoy. We'll get back to routinely updates in a short while, we're pretty much all college students here so we have a bit of work to do before our finals hit in a few weeks.

The second part to 'Unreleased Video Games' will be out before the end of this week, so look out for that!

En concreto quiero compartir 3 vídeos musicales de películas de estilo parecido que de pequeño me encantaron y me siguen encantando.

El primero es (voz de Gomez Addams) laaaa mamushka!! Enseñada por nuestros hermanos cosacos.. balbla (algo así).
No estoy seguro pero creo haber leído en algún sitio que el director de la orquesta en esta escena es justamente el compositor de la banda sonora, me gusta el detalle :D Y según acabo de enterarme en un "making off" sale el baile completo que al parecer cortaron mucho en la película final :(

El segundo, para no cambiar mucho de tema, es el tango que se marcan Gomez y Morticia en La Familia Addams 2. Siempre me ha encantado cuando en una banda sonora hacen una melodía principal reconocible y luego la meten en distintos estilos (versión alegre, versión triste, versión de acción...) y queda cojonudo :D

Y la tercera y última... sí señor, sí señor, es uno de los bailes y cancioncillas que más ha reproducido mi WinAmp... Sin más dilación, y con subtítulos en español... O Day Banana!!!! A ver quién me dice la película sin ver el título en la descripción de Youtube y eso.

"Daylight come and me wan' go home.."

Hay 2 cosas que no se:
1 - Por qué me gustaban estas películas oscuras de pequeño, siendo un completo miedica. (Vale que son de humor, pero a mí me acojonaban cosas como la parte final del Banana, xD)
2 - A qué viene esta entrada... podría haber pensado más vídeos, más bailes, Grease, otras pelis... no se por qué me vinieron de repente esos 3 a la cabeza y sentí urgentes ganas de ver la Mamushka y luego compartirla.... igual en un futuro pongo más escenas de películas que me hayan gustado! xD

---- BONUS TRACK -----
Acabo de recordar este baile que no puedo dejar atrás... xD
No es de una película y no he visto mucho Ally McBeal, pero un amigo muy fan me hizo ver, rever, bailar y rebailar este bailecillo y... tengo que ponerlo, xD Lástima que ninguno de los bailes que hicimos saliese bien... sino lo youtubeaba! xD

Este baile es el causante de que quiera ver esta maldita serie completa algún día... y de que quiera grabar una interpretación propia del mismo en condiciones! xD

Let me try that one again.  DOA!

Yup.

Don't get no better than this, this being the sentence you're serving right now, left now in the lurch, featured on the Addams Family.  Snap, snap that cigarette, or you'll snap yourself to death, tell St. Peter at the Golden Gate, bridging the gap, fall into the Old Navy and Army surplus, minus some more gold.

Lunokhod...

I keep forgetting to write about this wonderful invention. This is pretty freakin' cool & I am so glad I was finally informed of its existence.

OK, say what you will about the Soviet Union - They spied on you, cemented you into walls if you batted an eyelash the wrong way, long lines at the supermarket, ugly chicks, you name it.

However, these guys built a freakin' Moon rover back in the 1970's that actually went to the Moon & worked! How cool is that?! What do you call that? Spacepunk? Sovietpunk? Wow! Anyway, it even has a cool name - Lunokhod!

Go read about this stuff. It's pretty darn cool...

Whizzball Report...

I started off at 576. Yes, I know - Some punks slipped past me since I had last played. My happiness factor was not very high. So, anyway, I quickly got back to my old rank & then surpassed it. My new rank is 568. Slowly working my way up to #1...

Christina Ricci...

The only time my blog ever gets any amount of hits is when I talk about women & nudity. Go figure. So, anyway, a picture of Christina Ricci's cha-chas are floating around the Internet. Apparently, she lost her brain at some point & decided to get a tattoo on one of her cha-chas. Then, to make sure the brain pan was empty, she decided to have a picture taken of it by the tattoo artist, sans face to insure privacy (insert snickering here).

Personally, I don't "get" the appeal of Christina Ricci - She was that creepy-looking kid in the Addams Family movies who grew up to be the creepy-looking young woman. At some point, she had a breast reduction because some women don't like having large breasts. I don't know why. That's just the way it is.  I'm sure she's a great person deep down inside. Somewhere.

So, anyway, I've seen the supposed photo & I'm just not impressed. I guess it's true what they say that the right bra makes all the difference in the world because had that rack been attached to some meth-faced hooker, I wouldn't have doubted it for a minute.

Personal Challenge...

OK. I didn't chop 2 gigs off of my hard drive yesterday. It was more like 1.5 gigs. Rather then go the easy route & just burn some CDs of stuff I haven't touched on my hard drive in months, I decided to go the somewhat harder route & just delete the little crap that has slowly accumulated over the past few years. Programs that I installed & used for about a week & then lost interest in, that sort of thing. I'll chop the remaining giggage later.

For my new personal challenge, hmmm... I don't know. I'll get back to you on it.

The End.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=6d6a37c89cba223c5f78

Remember September -- Nothing Else Matters

Weird how things work; or rather, Thing. I didn't know this, but Thing from "The Addam's Family" was a family man of his own, or whatever. Listen to his two grand-daughters play Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters" on the piano forte. *Clap, clap, clap, clap*

This just occurred to me: Do you think Thing ever got the clap? Hohohoho boy. No wait a sec; What's the sound of a one hand clap? Masturbating Thing. Or masturba-Thing.  Whatever, good-bye.

Another Meth Minute, via Channel Frederator. This is what would happen if Pinky and the Brain starred Thing from the Addams family.

This is the way my mind works, get used to it.

First off, I thought it would be great to get my hands on Stefania Sandrelli's chin. But I wouldn't leave it to gather dust on my mantelpiece, no no. I would attach it to my face with an elastic band and wear it on outings. My fashion sense is strictly slacker-Columbo, but with Sandrelli's delicately cleft chin adorning my pasty visage I would be chic at all times. A man could really be a man in a chin like that.

What else? I toyed with Vic Morrow's ears, but ultimately cast them aside. Too serious. The shadow of John Astin's Gomez Addams moustache passed across my mind, but I brushed it away. I couldn't afford the upkeep. For a reckless moment I seized upon Gene Tierney's teeth (wonky but adorable, unlike my own mouthful of smashed crockery), but the E.A. Poe scenario involved in actually acquiring them was off-putting so I reluctantly let them drop.

No, what I really want for Christmas, the thing that would make my life complete, is the ENTIRE FACE of Laird Cregar.

(The multi-layered Laird is a 40s character star who obsesses me to a near-sexual degree, so expect more on him soon.)

With a face like that I could -- dare I say it? -- rule the world!

Or at least frighten the cat. And since, like horror maestro Dario Argento (below), I am regularly attacked by my own housepet, that would be useful enough.

I had to go to the gym today, I ate so much last night.

After a stressful day at the store, one which I spent in my office instant messaging Scott, I came home to Wednesday. She spent the day sleeping on my bed again, so I knew I wouldn't be bringing Scott back to my place. There is dog hair everywhere! *shudders*

After a speedy shower, I straightened my short, brown hair and dressed to drool. Looking back now, wearing fitted jeans and a tailored button-up shirt was both a good and a bad thing. I padded barefoot down the hall, carrying my cellphone and a bottle of red wine. (barefoot? you gasp- yes... I go everywhere possible barefooted. It's the disposition of being raised ten minutes from any other civilization.)

I knocked on his door. When he opened it, I quite possibly might have swayed forward. The man looked great in an expensive suit tailored to his large frame perfectly. He had on that adorable apron again; this time I actually looked at it. It was tan with various old food stains on it and a few new ones.

"What's for dinner?" I asked as he let me in. I had been smelling something delicious all afternoon.

"Baked Potato Soup."

I looked at him. "Marry me."

We laughed and he kissed me. "Not yet."

My brain and my hormones screamed like teenage girls at a Backstreet Boys concert (ok, Fallout Boy if you are younger than 21). "How was your day?"

He sighed. "It was a bitch, trying to fit everything in before I leave for the holiday. What are your plans for Thanksgiving?"

It was my turn to sigh. "I'm leaving Thursday morning and driving down to my parents' house in Valdosta. Get there just in time for dinner, conversation, and bedtime."

I opened the wine as he spooned out the soup and garnished it with shredded cheese, bacon, and chooped green onion. "Are you really a chef disguised as a magazine editor?"

He laughed. "No, allrecipes.com is on my favorites list."

I was still impressed. So impressed that I ate 2 bowls of the stuff. It was a little embarassing, but 1: I hadn't eat anything but granola bars and coffee all day and 2: it was damn good.

After dinner, we talked as we did the dishes and drank more wine. (he has a wine fridge people!) Somehow, we looked at each other for a moment and ended up kissing on the kitchen floor.

Don't worry, I'm not THAT easy folks. I stood up and pushed the wine bottle away. We made out like a bunch of teenagers on the couch instead. That was moving a long nicely when Halley called, sobbing into the phone. After I told Scott what was going on, he went into the kitchen, coming out carrying 2 brown paper bags. "Liquor, chocolate ice cream, and leftover cookie dough."

I hugged him, which turned into another kissing fest. "You might turn out to be a keeper, buddy," I said before running back to my apartment to put on my shoes and jacket.

Halley's post covered what happened at her place, so I won't go over it again. Check back soon for my Thanksgiving Day disasters.

-Lina (the boonies girl)

Um, no. Not usually. Sooooo disappointing. But not this guy! G. Charles, you rock my world. Not only did G. send me photos, he came to my opening at Copro Nason and doffed his shirt while a small crowd snapped away with their cameras. G, did you ever know that you're my hero?

If you aren't familiar with the original painting, this is "In the Garden" :

Folks, I love the tattoos -- PLEASE oh please send me photos.

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On the other day, i've got an insight...

I don't know if this applies for the movie or the TV series, because i only watched the cartoon series. But i was thinking... Isn't the Addams Family a BDSM Family?

I mean, hey have dungeons, they like to be bounded, tortured, feel the pain, and all the stuff. And after all, they feel they are normal. They're also pursued by their "vanilla" neighbors and all. Don't you think?

I don't know if i'm tripping, but it makes sense to me. There are curious similarities...

Is this a dysfunctional family or what!!!!!!!????

The prosecutors are seekin the death penalty in the death of Christopher Barrios. I'm glad; these cretins dont deserve anything less...

First there is the son, George David Edenfield, a 32 yr old loser, living with is parents, David and Peggy, who have also been charged with molesting this child. This is a dayumm shame...

George had prior child molestation charges. Why is he livin in society?? The bastid...dont they have laws about where they can, and cant live? And the news showed the Grandmother on TV, sayin she told the lil boy this man was dangerous.

Well, who the FLUCK else did you tell? Evidently not the right people...

AND a family friend named Donald Dale, was indicted on concealing the lil body. This shyt was just a dayumm party at this lil childs expense. HOW LONG did they have this child? WHAT did they do to him in the time they had him?? His last hours must have been horrible...

Can U imagine these cretins takin turns playin wit his lil dyck and doin things that seemed strange to his little six yr old mind? He 'prolly kept askin for his mommy and to go home and they were 'prolly just laffin' like it was nothin or lyin to him that "after this" he can go...till they killed him.

The news said: George and his father took turns sexually assaulting a 6-year-old boy while the molester's mother watched, then they choked the boy to death, according to the indictment. It also claims George Edenfield and his 58-year-old father sodomized the boy and forced him to perform oral sex while Peggy Edenfield watched and masturbated.

And its not that no one knew these cretins had issues. George Edenfield was required to register as a sex offender after he pleaded guilty in 1997 to molesting two boys, ages 7 and 9. Prosecutors said he rubbed his clothed body "in a sexual manner" against the boys, who also were fully dressed. He was sentenced then to 10 years on probation. WTF!!!???

His father, David Edenfield, pleaded guilty to incest in 1994. He was accused of having sex with an adult relative who was not his son.

(**brrrrrr**) A cold creepy chill just went down my spine...

Bless his lil heart- my heart just bleeds, when I think of what this lil baby went thru and how scared he must have been...

I cant wrap my head around this.

So bizarre...

This is the REAL Addams Family.

George-the son-the one they gave

10 yrs probation (WTF!!!??)

The 'mother'-who sat there and watched it all

-and masturbated.

The 'father'-who took turns molesting this child,

with his son, and the cretin who helped dump

the body.

I will watchin this trial...closely. I want to make sure they die for this crime...

Anyway. I am no prude. Obviously. No-one ever is. However, three things recently worried me.

The first was an advertisement for a lap-dancing and pole-dancing club which I saw on the back of a mini-bus contracted as a school bus. The juxtaposition made me uneasy, though the fact I only saw it once suggests that I was not the only one to raise a disturbed eyebrow.

The second was a joke and party shop which sold "naughty" maids outfits, pink fluffy handcuffs, "naughty" uniforms and other joke bondage gear and next to them there were little-girl fairy wings and children's Halloween costumes. I found using infantile words like "naughty" disturbing when combined with blurred boundaries between fetish gear for adults and fancy dress for children.

The one that worries me most recently, however, is playboy stationery marketed at little girls. I'm obviously not the only person who finds this disturbing: Brand Republic reported protestors as saying:

Jennifer Drew, chair of Object, said: "We are challenging the normalisation of porn into mainstream media. We feel that ... WH Smith ... is giving out the message that it is acceptable to have girls as sex objects. Object is not against sexuality, but it is against exploitation."

They also report WH Smith's breathtakingly disingenuous reply:

WH Smith is claiming that the stationery is being sold as a popular fashion range and that the image is not inappropriate in any way. The group also argues that many youngsters do not know what the image stands for.

I don't even know where to start with those remarks.

I'm trailing way behind the zeitgeist here, since all of the stories I found are so-o-o-o-o last year darling, but the fact that I came across the stuff about 10 days ago in WH Smith troubles me, as does their spokesperson's comment, reported in the Guardian last year.

"Playboy is probably one of the most popular ranges we've ever sold," says head of media relations for WH Smith, Louise Evans. "It outsells all the other big brands in stationery ... by a staggering amount ... We offer customers choice. We're not here to act as a moral censor."

What? I mean WHAT? "Not here to act as a moral censor". Is Ms Evans disengaged and morally unimaginative? Is she naively innocent? Is she just stupid? There is a category error so large you can drive a horse and cart through the middle of it. The issue is not about censorship, it is about what is appropriate. It's about what has become a very old fashioned word: it is about propriety. In an age where the Internet and mobile phones enable adults to obtain unsupervised access to young children in a way which they have never had before, is it wise to normalise erotica in the presence of children, or to infantalise sexuality in the presence of adults?

Perhaps it takes a deviant and dirty mind to think these deviant and dirty thoughts. Although we live in a very knowing age, it can still be a surprisingly innocent one. Certainly, I was astonished by the naivete of the conversation about this particular piece of what is obviously fetish-gear. (If the link from that image does not work, then try the knitter's main page instead). It seems that the darker aspects of human sexuality are being re-wrapped in ways which are cute, fluffy and frequently pink. I am reminded of Anjelica Huston's line in Addams Family Values:

"You have gone too far. You have married Fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But Debbie... pastels?"

I don't think that the pastelisation of what used to be called perversion is a bad thing: it's just a thing. BDSM gear spent a long time being black rubber, black leather and studs. A lot of it still is, though recent goth imagery is bringing purple and red into play too. Previously, in the 19th and early 20th centuries it was all mahogany furniture, and crimson satin and velvet-wrapped ropes and, from von Sasher-Masoch to Elinor Glyn, 19th and early 20th century kinkiness was frequently surrounded by fur. Fashions change. Now BDSM is made safe with fluffy handcuffs and angora home-knits. So what?

However, I do find myself asking what sort of society is it which will happily market pornographic brand icons to little girls, and appears to have no qualms about placing strongly sexual imagery and products in the same space as products marketed to young children?

What sort of society makes sex a pink and sparkly thing for little girls to appreciate?