I've moved my blog to my own domain instead of this one, http://www.catherineyee.com :)  See you there!

Cheers!

But today was different.  It wasn’t until I sat down that I realized that he was saying good morning to me.  Every morning, he would greet me and I just walked with my headphones firmly fixed around my head and I thought nothing of it.  But today was different.  I realized what he had been doing and what I had been doing.  I was shamed by my seemingly benign behaviour.  After all, everyone else that got on the bus before me did the same thing.  They did it today.  They did it yesterday and the days before.     

In this day and age, we are not expected to think much of anyone or anything.  Often the thinking is “who is he to me”?   We are not expected to acknowledge the “other”.  The thinking is “that’s not my reality so why bother”?  We do, however, expect the other to see us.  We also expect our opinions to be automatically validated just because they are “our” opinions. 

The pronoun has become big business these days:  mine, yours, his, hers, who, they, us, them. . .

As has any derivation of the word ‘person’: “Who is this person”?  “Nothing personal”.  “You’re in my personal space”.  “My biggest strength is my personality”.  “Personally, I don’t buy what he’s saying”.

And then you have the extension of the inner to the outer:  “Personally, I like them.  Big cars are cool.”  You know, since I like it so much, it must be fact, big cars are cool.  I just said that.  It’s now established.  End of story.  Let’s move on.

This goes beyond being shallow.  The arrogance is now firmly ensconced in our psyche.  There is no need now, to pay attention to what she is saying.  So what, she has been there before, she’s not there now.  Besides, I couldn’t be bothered to listen, not with my 5-second attention span.  But today was different.  I realized that there’s something to be said for acknowledging someone.  Acknowledgement does not mean recognition or even comprehension.  It just means looking up for once and seeing the other. 

So tomorrow, I’m going to turn off my mp3 player and take down my headphones before I step on the bus and return the greeting.  Well, that is if he hasn’t dismissed me yet, like I dismissed him.

Some examples of some subtle, minor successes might include having a deep conversation with your spouse, reconnecting with an estranged friend, spending quality time with your children, crossing items off of your to-do list, or learning something new.

So, with that in mind, here are my "minor" accomplishments on this Labor Day:

*(Last night) A rain storm came through.  While the kids were all getting ready for bed I invited them to join me on the front porch to watch the storm instead of going to bed.  Mack, Hoob, and Yawlin took me up on the invitation.  We cuddled in blankets, watched people running to their cars as they left a neighbor's party, and made up funny reasons for cars to be passing our house that late at night.  I let the kids decide when they were ready to go back into the house and go to bed.

*After the kids were in bed I went back out on the porch to continue watching the storm which had gotten worse.  It was a time for me to reflect on my goals and to count my blessings.  It was perfect "me" time.

*Before my family awoke I was able to get some journaling and reading done.  I was also able to fix hard-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast and have it all sitting on the counter before the first family members stirred.

*I asked Yawlin to come with me as I took the dog for a walk.  While we walked we talked about what he wants to be when he grows up (he's not sure), what he wants to plant in his garden when he has his own house (corn and cucumbers), what he wants for his birthday meals tomorrow (crepes for breakfast and lasagna for dinner) and various other things.  While we walked it started to pour rain again.  We were only half way home and so chose to run the rest of the way.  As we ran I heard him say, "It's actually kind of fun being out here in the rain."  We were soaked and laughing by the time we got home.

*In addition to walking (running) the dog I managed to do some stretching exercises and some spot exercises on my calves.

*I asked Mack to come with me while I shopped for a baby gift and picked up a few groceries.  I let her drive so that she could have the practice.  While shopping she showed me some shirts she thought were cute and I got to hear all about school.

*Because of the way chores fall this week Huh and Hoob "got" to help me make raspberry (zucchini) jam.  They actually thought the whole process was pretty cool.  Huh also helped me make chicken enchiladas for dinner.

*I spent some time with Hub as he showed me some of the work he has done on our website for a business we are trying to start.

*I got to meet a new guy pal of Huh's.  I invited him to stay for dinner (which he did) and to participate in our Family Home Evening (which he also did).  Then he and Huh left to go participate in his family's Family Home Evening.

*I managed to do a load of dishes, two loads of laundry, and some general house straightening.

Since I am passionate about my family and try to make them my focus I am feeling pretty good about my day.  I was able to spend time with each person that was here.  Hub's kid are with their mother for the holiday so I didn't get to spend time with them.  Another day.  Some may find my day rather boring, but I am happy with it.

Jack Canfield wrote, "These may seem like minor acts in the grand scheme of life, but they are what make us feel whole, happy, and accomplished along the journey..."

Amen.

Actually, I began to write this entry two days ago. At the time it was very different. Very different indeed. I was losing faith in myself and in the world. Not in some massive emo sense you understand - just in that vague way that everyone feels most days. That kind of inherrent sadness that comes to us all in our weaker, slower or more vunerable moments. You see, since I moved to the city - which wasn't long ago - I've been trying to seek some kind of meaningful employment. When I say meaningful, I mean that it aids me in getting into the industry that I want to work in. This particular industry shall remain nameless - the principles at work apply to several. Most perhaps. I've been trying to find entry level jobs, but they simply don't seem to exist. At all. Nearly everything requires work experience of some kind. No problem - I have funds enough to live without being paid for a ltitle while, then I can just get a job that fits around the work experience until I land a job doing something crappy but being paid.

Wrong.

In some cases, this is understandable. I can understand how a big, swanky company will be innundated with requests for somekind of experience - any kind of experience. I think that it sucks, to be quite honest. People are willing to give up their time and perform embarrasing and degrading tasks so that in a few months - or even years time they stand a vague change of landing some crummy job that they hate. Surely EVERYONE with merit should be welcomed? Well, no. Despite being reasonably bright and able to do any dull job that is asked of me, I've been largely ignored. By large companies asking for work experience candidates (out of everything I've applied for, one has acknowledged the fact that I wrote to them with a form rejection letter) and by small companies who frankly could probably use a spare set of hands around the place willing to do whatever is needed.

It gets to you, after a while. Trying to volunteer your time to get a small step towards something you're passionate about. Being ignored. Trying not to get a normal job because it might mess up your chances should someone actually speak to you.

Luckily there is a happy ending (of sorts) to this story. I changed my tack a few days ago and began to email professionals within the industry personally, basically begging. A few hours after one of my emails was sent, I got a reply. A personal reply. From a man who, frankly, really didn't need to reply. He apologised for not having any skuttlebutt work at the moment but would keep me in mind for future projects. He asked for my CV so that he could possibly pass it on to people. Most importantly, he acknowledged I was alive and told me not to give up.

Sometimes that's all it takes to find a second wind.

I'm not giving up.

Have you ever worked really hard at something, but no one even acknowledges how hard you worked? But then someone else puts in about half the effort you did, but because they let everyone know how hard they think they worked, they wind up getting everyone's thanks and appreciation? When I used to work in the airlines, I think that was my biggest pet peeve. I believed what the Bible says about not tooting your own horn, but it seemed like if anyone was ever going to notice my hard work, I'd have to do SOMETHING! I was tempted to work less (like my complaining coworkers) and to make sure I looked like I was worn out from all the hard work I was doing...so even if I didn't say anything, they could take one look at me, see hard rough I had it, and appreciate me. Well, that lasted all of about a day, because the Lord reminded me of today's verses. So I got right back to working hard...for Him...and when you know that He sees what you do, and you know you have HIS approval, that can't help but put a smile back on your face!

Ephesians 6:6-7 MSG ~ Don't just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as Christ's servants doing what God wants you to do. And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, you're really serving God.

More devotions from Renee's Fresh Manna

Published by Pastor Tim Burt
Copyright© 2008 Tim Burt, All rights reserved.

http://readfreshmanna.blogspot.com/

Dr abdullah ameen, on August 19th, 2008 at 11:26 pm Said

assalamualaikum w.b.t.

syabas atas usaha akhi dalam membangunkan website ini. ana amat berminat untuk mendapatkan bantuan akhi terutama dalam fiqh perubatan. diharap dapat contact ana di email ana atau di thread perubatan dalam forum http://al-fikrah.net

wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Saya menerima pelawaan dia dan menyertai Al-Fikrah.net (AFN). Selepas seminggu (hari ini), saya diumum sebagai Moderator Forum Soal Jawab Perubatan & Pergigian di AFN.

alhamdulillah..akhirnyalah lengkaplah hospital AFN

untuk makluman akhi phaidee dan ukhti hani dilantik jadi moderator thread perubatan dan pergigian. walaupun akhi phaidee masih medical student, tapi beliau mempunyai pengalaman luas dalam fiqh perubatan. ukhti hani juga masih dental student tetapi mempunyai kebolehan terutama dalam menjawab soalan2 pergigian.

mungkin ramai yang tertanya-tanya mengapa masih student telah diangkat jadi moderator. untuk makluman thread lain pun ade student yang jadi moderator. jadi title student tidak menjadi persoalan utama, yang penting ilmu mereka yang kita perlukan.

thread perubatan dan pergigian memang ramai moderator kerana masing-masing mempunyai komitmen dalam bidang kerjaya masing-masing. justeru ramai pengamal perubatan moden dilantik untuk menjawab soalan2 antum dalam kadar yang segera.

diharapkan perlantikan mereka memberi manfaat besar kepada warga AFN.

wallahua'lam bissawab...

Tiada komen. Apa yang saya tahu saya perlu menyumbang sesuatu di AFN mengikut kemampuan saya. Moga ALLAH sentiasa memberi Taufiq dan Hidayah-NYA sepanjang saya menyertai Forum AFN. Amin.

رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَى وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضَاهُ وَأَدْخِلْنِي بِرَحْمَتِكَ فِي عِبَادِكَ الصَّالِحِينَ (19) سورة النمل

"Ya TUHAN-ku berilah aku ilham untuk tetap mensyukuri nikmat-MU yang telah ENGKAU anugerahkan kepadaku dan kepada dua orang ibu bapakku dan untuk mengerjakan amal saleh yang ENGKAU redhai; dan masukkanlah aku dengan rahmat-MU ke dalam golongan hamba-hamba-MU yang saleh".

-An-Naml, 19-

]]> http://abulharith.wordpress.com/?p=44 Tue, 26 Aug 2008 12:25:37 +0000 Abul Harith http://abulharith.wordpress.com/?p=44 Kurang 24 jam di arena blogosphere. Sedikit terharu atas ‘acknowledment’ seorang teman. Moga ALLAH sentiasa bersama dalam senang susahnya.

He's in

Sudah lama saya menanti dia hadir ke lapangan ini secara rasmi.

Selepas panjang suaranya di fiqh medic.

Dia yang sentiasa bernas dengan idea, kini boleh ditemui di sini juga.

Dia bukan siapa-siapa, tapi seorang teman lama yang saya berbesar hati dapat bekerja bersama.

The hardest part of me being your partner once upon time ago is, it is really hard for me to add up anything regarding your words, as you always make it almost flawless.

Thanks for being a great mu'allim (:

http://nurilahi.blogspot.com/

Tiada komen. Segala puji diserah kepada ALLAH. Diri ini cuma orang biasa. Cuma hati yang sentiasa menjerit untuk sentiasa lakukan yang terbaik. Hanya yang terbaik…

قُلْ إِنَّمَا أَنَا بَشَرٌ مِثْلُكُمْ يُوحَى إِلَيَّ أَنَّمَا إِلَهُكُمْ إِلَهٌ وَاحِدٌ فَمَنْ كَانَ يَرْجُو لِقَاءَ رَبِّهِ

فَلْيَعْمَلْ عَمَلا صَالِحًا وَلا يُشْرِكْ بِعِبَادَةِ رَبِّهِ أَحَدًا

Katakanlah: “Sesungguhnya aku ini manusia biasa seperti kamu, yang diwahyukan kepadaku: "Bahwa Sesungguhnya TUHAN kamu itu adalah TUHAN yang ESA". Barangsiapa mengharap perjumpaan dengan TUHAN-nya, Maka hendaklah ia mengerjakan amal yang soleh dan janganlah dia mempersekutukan seorangpun dalam beribadat kepada TUHAN-nya”.

-Al-Kahfi, 110-

"In passing the resolution, the House also acknowledged the "injustice, cruelty, brutality and inhumanity of slavery and Jim Crow."

Why would the U.S. wait until, damn near Judgement Day to offer its deepest sympathies and condolences for past crimes committed against  humanity. Enslaved Africans are our nation's true burden bearers of this newest republic in the West. In fact, enslaved Africans built the U.S. Capitol building in Washington D.C. Could that be one reason for this sudden crisis of conscience American politicians are having?

I'd prefer to think of this as political expediency for a growing surge of a changing demographic on the political landscape. Let's call it the Obama Effect. We must acknowledge that certain isssues have recieved new life since the charismatic Senator from Illinois has hit, not just, the National stage, but the Intenational one as well.

For example, when Obama came to St. Peterburgh, Florida this past week, someone asked him why he doesn't support Reparations. Basically, his stance was that while he agrees there are tremendous gaps in achievement, social mobility, education, jobs, health, class and gender; he didn't think every victim of oppression should be given financial compensation. His retort to the "heckler" who persisted to insist Obama change his policy stance was: You should RUN 4 office!!

The ranking official on the House Judiciary Committee is John Conyers (D) Michigan. He's had a House bill on the books for over 20 years and can't even get a motion to have it heard. Now, Obama bursts on the scene and miraculously former slavemasters (their descendants) want to apologize for an atrocity of perpetual proportions that has lingering effects that most white people fail to give credence to.

The Obama effect {O.E.} can open some eyes to histories ill-treatment. The O.E. will thrust new discourse on "hot-topics" swept under the rug due to fear of vengeance. The O.E. no matter if he wins or loses will surely be felt for years to come. The hopes & dreams of an entire generation depend bama effect taking root into the collective-conscience of all Americans. Then the slow wheels of CHANGE can & will begin to move.

Only a fool would think that a simple apology would do much to improve race relations, however when dealing with it from a psychological perspective we see that an entire governing body within the federal government has "acknowledged" collusion of a crime, a wrong was committed. Moreover, with the advent of repressive & oppressive domestic policies (i.e Poll Taxes) many of the vestiges of Jim Crow still persist to this day.

Historically speaking, "Jim Crow," or Jim Crow laws, were state and local laws enacted mostly in the Southern and border states of the United States between the 1870s and 1965, when African-Americans were denied the right to vote and other civil liberties were legally segregated from whites."

This is also the same time period "Lynching" of men, women and children eclipsed 6,000 people from African descent. {see: Ida B. Wells for proof}. A travesty of widespread far-reaching proportions as white mobs or gangs would inflict vigilante justice on defenseless citizens whom were intimidated, harassed, brutalized, castrated, raped, maimed and persecuted with impunity!!!

This is the IGNOBLE past of the American landscape that hasn't changed mush despite the Obama effect. Although, with his candidacy a vacuum has been created and now these issues have a forum, legitimacy and much needed attention from the American people.

"African-Americans continue to suffer from the consequences of slavery and Jim Crow -- long after both systems were formally abolished -- through enormous damage and loss, both tangible and intangible, including the loss of human dignity and liberty, the frustration of careers and professional lives, and the long-term loss of income and opportunity," the resolution states.

African-American leadership has been suggesting this since "some" of our ancestors came to the shores of North America in the hulls of ships chained & packaged like sardines in a can and treated like CHATTEL {animals}! From Henry Highland Garnett, founder of African Methodist Episcopal {A.M.E.} Church to Sojourner Truth, feminist, speaker and activist are just two champions that spoke to the injustices afflicted by America to her 2nd class citizens

Don't be fooled  into thinking this dissenting voice only came from American blacks. Indeed, Frantz Fanon, cultural critic, writer & activist from Martinque along with Leopold Senghor from Senegal, W.E.B. DuBois from the U.S. and Heads of State from around the African diaspora embraced the concept of "Negritude; the Black Consciousness Movement; and the Pan-African Congress." Negritude and the other concepts spoke to the essence of blackness in a philosophical, cultural, artistic and empowering way something that hadn't been done on a worldwide scale, except for Marcus Garvey's: Universal Negro Improvemment Association {UNIA}. These are the precursors to the Civil Rights Movements, Black Power Struggle and Afrocentric paradigms.

Isn't is indicative of negligent & acquiescent leadership that most of our most progressive movements on a massive scale haven't taken place in almost 50-100 years. What does that suggest? Is this why people hold so much faith in the Democartic presumtive nominee?

On the other hand, this isn't the first time  the government has offered an apology to an ethnicity.

"In April, the Senate passed a resolution sponsored by Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kansas, that apologized to Native Americans for "the many instances of violence, maltreatment and neglect." (READ: GENOCIDE)

"In 1993 the Senate also passed a resolution apologizing for the "illegal overthrow" of the Kingdom of Hawaii in 1893." (read: regime change)

"In 1988, Congress passed and President Reagan signed an act apologizing to the 120,000 Japanese-Americans who were held in detention camps during World War II. The 60,000 detainees who were alive at the time each received $20,000 from the government." [read: ghetto/projects].

POWER is the ability to effect change of your surroundings. The distinctness of your exclusive personality can bring about the whole universe into an mightiful omnipotent you by adjusting magnetic resonance within your heart and through out your animal carriage. Mind your heart inasmuch as you heart your mind, fello homo ..., that way, then, nothing would be able to stand beyond your potential stance. It's true. It's a fact.

To dig more of the like, and cultivate words in far better appearance, you wouldn't want to miss these two sentients who've found their religion in true christianity and/ or in the more universal point of view on cosmic spirituality.

Hush now, sentient candidates, just learn ... learn ... and learn more!

I know I have received acknowledgements from others that have changed me. Some of them I carry with me like an old friend to remind me of my deeper spirit at times when I think I have forgotten or my "saboteur" has taken over the helm.

So I asked around the office to see what acknowledgments we have received that stuck. What I discovered is that even recalling an acknowledgement opens your heart and makes you smile, no matter how long ago it was initially given.

Here are just a few examples:

-        When you open your mouth flowers come out.

-        Did you ever think that the reason your community is so great is because of you?

-        When you walk into the room your beauty lights up the whole room.

-        You have the quiet strength, patience and love of a fierce animal waiting in the grass for the right time to make your move. You are a Lionheart.

-        I think my mom has always been a good parent to me. She’s pretty fair, sometimes she is overprotective, but all moms are sort-of like that. She is really nice and I’m pretty glad that she’s my mom and stuff. I definitely respect her a lot for everything she’s done. She’s really strong and she’s a great mom.

-        You always step up to the plate to support things that are important without even being asked.

Think about an acknowledgement you have received and what you carry with you about that. Please share your examples below.

Other great reads include:

• Jeffrey Strain wrote one of the best posts I've ever read in his 25 Ways To Improve Your Financial Situation In Under 10 Minutes posted at Saving Advice Blog. This is a must-read for everyone.
• David at My Two Dollars gives us several "Duh!" moments in Save Money, Reduce Waste: Stop Buying And Start Borrowing. Really, it's a great idea to borrow instead of buy!

The Carnval of Money Stories was hosted at Almost Frugal this week, and included my post Sure, We’ll Pay You for Not Delivering the Car….

Also check out:

• Free Money Finance's post Our Real Estate Agent Has Never Met Sane People Before completely takes the wind out of my sails as far as selling our home. The truth hurts.
• Uncommon Sense's post Sympathetic, But Not Enough to Favor a Bailout gets a hearty "Amen!" from me.

The Carnival of Personal Finance was hosted at Taking Charge this week and included my article Take the Park the Car challenge.

Also clickworthy:

• Saving Advice's post Investing Hack: Why I bought $199 in Apple Stock Instead of a New Apple 3G iPhone is a not only a terrific idea, it's inspirational!
• The Red Stapler Chronicle's post Money Lessons Learned from Famous Movies is a cute post. I think my favorite lesson is the one from Trading Places...

Special Thanks to Gather Little by Little for including my post 43 Good Facts to Know in her Friday Gathering - Life change edition roundup.

.

Para ello se utiliza una técnica que requiere que la máquina receptora se comunique con la transmisora enviando un acuse de recibo cuando recibe los datos, ésto se llama possitive acknowledgement with retransmission. El transmisor documenta cada segmento de datos que envía y comienza un contador de tiempo, y reenvía el segmento en caso de que el contador termine y no se haya recibdo un acuse de recibo de parte del receptor.

En el ejemplo vemos como se envían 3 segmentos, y entonces el receptor contesta con un ACK, y se envían otros 3 segmentos, con una falla en el segmento 5, por lo que se envía un ACK pidiendo el segmento 5, que es enviado a continuación.

"Thank you for believing in me

...

you will never know how much

of a difference you have made to my life,

words can never describe exactly how I feel"

I shared these words with the people that introduced me to LM, this transformation is also their doing.

The writer of the card is "strength and communication" in my eyes, looking forward to see the possibilities that will emerge when she completes the advanced course in  a few months.

For example, after reading the Acknowledgment module, I was jolted by the example they gave about acknowledging something and complimenting it.

Before: "I really like your sweater" unconsciously translates to "I approve of your sweater, as it appeals to me." That's so egocentric!

After: "I wanted to acknowledge your sense of style, as you're always up on the latest trends" has to do with the person you're acknowledging and not you.

This was an a-ha! moment for me, and it made total sense. I got on the call thinking that Angela is going to speak with us about getting away from "I" statements and how you should change that part of your speech.

Instead, I got "I could sit here and tell you that acknowledgment is this glowing tool and you should all use it without prejudice, but the truth is that saying 'I acknowledge this' and 'I acknowledge that' is just.....awkward to say. Who says that? And doesn't saying 'I acknowledge your sense of style' make you the authority on style? And who made you the authority on style, anyway?"

Another a-ha! moment! That made so much sense! Because who WOULD say "I acknowledge your sense of style" and how pretentious is that? It feels so detached. BUT what Angela did speak about is the different ways you can get across acknowledging someone that does NOT include the word phrase "I acknowledge". We just brushed the surface on it, but I'm looking forward to hearing more next week.

*

I'm grateful that I'm still gainfully employed.

I am continually amazed that these opportunities for transformation of others appear when I least expect them.

"The shoes on my feet
I've bought it
The clothes I'm wearing
I've bought it
The rock I'm rockin'
I've bought it
'Cause I depend on me"

I got, that I have really never acknowledged my husband for the financial contribution he brings to the family. He works full time, I work part time, and we share all income evenly. Ofcourse we do, we are a marriage, and a partnership, but I suddenly got that there is no way I could have my current lifestyle if I had to provide for my self and my daughters on my wage. Not even If I only had myself to look after.

So I thanked him.

Who do you need to acknowledge?

(not happy with the word 'need', but couldn't come up with an alternative).

            - Unknown (sent to me by a dear wise friend…)

Say what you mean, mean what you say.

 I took on the possibility of acknowledgement.

My profession is nursing.

 I was discharging the patient, and as we recorded the date on the disharge papers, he was reminded. The 64th anniversary of the landing, 6th of June '44. He said war was unforgiving. That the 7 medals for bravery meant nothing compared to the loss of life and friendship.

 I thanked him, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart. For myself, for my family, for the people of the world. We had a connection.

Today I recieved a letter of thank you from him, accompanied by a letter of recommondation from management.

I make a difference in the lives of others. Take every moment and every opportunity to make a difference.

I also talked about how many salespeople fail to follow-up on their orders because they are afraid to confront challenges if their customer's expectations were not met.

In this post we are going to talk about how to calm down an angry customer:

In order to understand how to calm your customer down, you first need to know that your customer has two sides to their brain.

An emotional side and a logical side.

The emotional side is the part that is dealing with the frustration that they feel when their expectations are not met.

"Frustration happens when there is a gap between expectations and reality." - David Ralph

The logical side is where the solution to the problem is going to be found.

When your customer confronts you with a challenge, they generally have the mindset they have to fight to get the problem rectified (This is usually based on past experiences). And so their brains are being dominated by the emotional side of their brain and they, in fact, are not thinking logically.

The key is to creating a solution is to first calm down that emotional side and then get them thinking logically.

The worst thing you can do is to tell them to calm down. This will only escalate their anger (and usually their voice).

Instead follow this process:

Step 1: Remove barriers - Come out from around the counter, square your body to theirs and look them directly in the eye (if you are in a face-to-face encounter). This will send the signal to your customer that you are not going to hide behind the counter or any barrier.

Step 2: Ask them how you can help them - This postions you as a someone who is going to work with them instead of against them. This also gives them permission to tell you their story. (Which you were going to hear regardless)

Step 3: Let them tell their story - Let them vent, purge, talk it out.

Step 4: Actively listen to their story - Don't interupt, don't try to justify, don't try to solve ... just listen.

Listen to what they are telling you.

Listen to how they are telling it to you.

Listen to what they are not telling you.

Not only will the customer tell you what the cause of their frustration is, but when you listen to them they will feel validated. Like they matter to you. This has a calming effect on them.

You may want to add a few listening words like, "ah-ha", "yes" or "umm", to show you are listening.

Or you may ask, "Tell me more" or "Then what happened" to dig deeper.

Step 5: Feedback your understanding - Paraphrase (not parrot) what you understood from their story. This will validate to them that you were indeed listening. It also allows them to make corrections, if what you heard is not what they meant.

Then say something like, "Boy, that must be frustrating for you."

When you acknowledge in words what they are feeling, you leave them with the "finally someone understands what I am going through" feeling.

When their emotional feelings are acknowledged, it allows the logical (problem solving) side of their brain to kick in and they are now ready to listen.

Step 6: Negotiate a solution - Ask your customer, "What would it take to make this right?" By asking this question, you will be amazed how reasonable (most) people are. Often they will ask for much less than you may be willing to give and still walk away happy.

And that is really the key to solving customers challenges. Keeping customers happy.

Studies show that 95% of customers that have their complaint resolves quickly and effectively will return and buy again.

This makes sense, because they realize that things happen and they now know that you will be there for them in good times (when they buy) as well as challenging times (when something goes wrong).

In a future post I will share how proactively seeking out these challenges can help increase your sales (and profit).

-- Jim Rohn, American author & motivational speaker

If you are stuck somewhere or you find yourself sinking into a morass of gooey mud then perhaps you could use a coach to help you get out of that mire you find yourself in.

Coach with HEART is a simple framework that focuses on Humility, Encouragement, Acknowledgment, Relationships and Trust.    Using those five key elements a proper environment for coaching can exist.  Taking those elements and applying them to your own life will help others.   If you encourage someone or acknowledge a success that have had you will inspire them to greater things.    Being humble helps open doors and that allows for trust to increase which is the foundation of a relationship.

The first step is the hardest step and with each successive step a bit easier. Take that first step today.

“Take the first step, and your mind will mobilize all its forces to your aid. But the first essential is that you begin. Once the battle is startled, all that is within and without you will come to your assistance.” Robert Collier

“The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.” Mark Caine

Tomorrow lets look at trust.

So today I focused on business building! I'm really getting the itch to get things up and running, especially since my job satisfaction has gone downhill lately. I want to get my website up, a business plan on paper, a logo for my company, and some business cards. That should take......about a week, right? WRONG!

I think my first step is to buy the book that Holly recommended, as well as talk to Luke about building a site. He builds great ones, but I don't want to have to rely on him to get into it, update it, tweak it, etc. But I should use him to help me (it's not like I keep him around for his good looks and personality or anything)!

As we lie next to each other in bed Tuesday night, he asks me what I expect him to write in the acknowledgement. I tell him to write what is on his mind and I stress how important I think it is that he writes something he is comfortable writing. He tells me that he has already written it and that he just wanted to know.

He leaves another chapter for me to proof read on the table Tuesday night. I find it this morning, see the word “Preface” on the first page and leave for work thinking I will look at it later. When I come home in the afternoon and sit at my desk, I wonder when or if I will get to read the acknowledgement.

I glance at the preface and have already decided to do the proof reading later when I suddenly see the words “thanks to” repeated several times on the first page. As I read through it I realise that the preface contains the acknowledgements and that I must be there.

I am the last paragraph of the preface. I read through his words; One by one I gulp them down. They leave me teary-eyed at my desk. They are simple and lovely – they are so him. They are words I could not have put together myself. I end up crying and when I talk to him on the phone a little later I pretend not having read anything yet because I am still dizzy from his beautiful words and gratitude. When finally admitting – hours later – that I have read the words, the only thing I am able to whisper is: Thank you.