In the 2003 aftermath, the Yankees traded for the hot name of the day Javier Vazquez, relinquishing reliever Randy Choate as well as underrated players Nick Johnson and Juan Rivera. He seemed like a sure bet, coming off a stellar 13-12 3.24 ERA season, prompting the Yanks to shower the then 27-year old with a four-year $45 million contract. But, Vazquez failed to live up to expectations, enduring a startlingly mediocre 14-10, 4.91 ERA, 1.29 WHIP season. After just one season he was traded to Arizona.

During the same off-season, New York added Kevin Brown, and the remainder of his seven-year $105 million contract, though the Dodgers kicked in for his private plane expenditures. Brown battled numerous injuries, but rebounded in 2003 for a 14-9 2.39 ERA season (now suspected to be steroid aided). Though injury prone once again, Brown had a mediocre 10-6, 4.09 ERA, 1.27 WHIP showing, before faltering for good in 2005 going 4-7 with a 6.50 ERA.

Mid-season Cashman traded then-failed Cuban defector Jose Contreras for Chicago White Sox starter Esteban Loaiza. The defending AL Cy Young had just finished a fluky 21-win 2003 season. He lasted just six starts before sidling down to the bullpen with an 8.50 ERA and a 2.06 WHIP.

The Yankees tried to plug the pitching holes again after the 2004 collapse in the ALCS. They brought in the inexplicably under-punned Randy Johnson, whose nickname is the Big Unit. Randy had just completed a turn back the clock 16-14 2.60 ERA 290K season, which should have seen him earn a Cy Young. Johnson did live up to his reputation in New York, of being a big prick (He accosted a cameraman immediately upon entering the city). His first year was fine (17-8, 3.79 ERA, 1.13 WHIP), but he faltered in 2006 (17-11, 5.01 ERA, 1.24 WHIP). He returned to Arizona after the season in an off-season trade.

New York also targeted free agent Carl Pavano that winter, signing him to a four-year $39.95 million contract, the extra .05 million being a deal breaker. Pavano was disappointing in 2005 going 4.77 ERA and a 1.47 WHIP before a shoulder injury ended his season. He missed the 2006 season entirely, beginning the year on the DL, with a bruised buttocks, and breaking two ribs in a car accident shortly before a scheduled return start in August. He returned for two starts in 2007 before suffering an “elbow strain” that required Tommy John surgery, which still leaves him on the DL for 2008. At the current rate of return, the Steinbrenners will have paid Pavano $8 million per win with the team.

To cement the rotation still further that off-season, Cashman resuscitated free agent Jaret Wright to a three-year $21 million contract. Wright had been a highly touted Indians prospect and a rookie hero during their 1997 playoff run. After two bad years as a starter, followed by five injury plagued ones. Wright revived his career in Atlanta going 15-8 with a 3.28 ERA and a 1.28 WHIP. Wright, not surprisingly, replicated his consistent career form, not very good and injury prone, in a Yankee uniform. He went just 5-5 with a 6.08 ERA and a 1.77 WHIP in 13 starts in 2005, followed by 11-,7, 4.49ERA, 1.52 WHIP in 2006. The Yankees traded him to the Orioles the following Winter.

Mid-season 2005 saw signings up the wazoo. Al Leiter permanently lost his mojo with a 4-5 5.49 ERA, 1.67 WHIP stretch that cast him into the bullpen. The Yanks brought in Shawn Chacon who was stunningly magnificent in the second half of 2005 (7-3, 2.85 ERA, 1.22 WHIP), but fell back down to earth (5-3 7.00 ERA, 1.79 WHIP) the next season before being traded to Pittsburgh.

Unknown journeyman Aaron Small came up huge in 2005 going 10-0, 3.20 ERA, 1.25 WHIP, before being hugely disappointing the following year (0-3, 8.46 ERA, 1.95 WHIP).

The Yankees added Corey Lidle as part of the Bobby Abreu trade at mid-season in 2006. He was not particularly brilliant (4-3 5.16 ERA 1.50 WHIP) in the second half. He died tragically in a New York City plane crash, just days after the season ended.

Cashman bolstered the rotation again in 2007, bringing back both McNamee men Pettitte and Clemens from the Astros. Pettitte, paid a sweet $16 million per year, pitched competently (15-9, 4.05 ERA, 1.43 WHIP) but not spectacularly. Roger, relishing in the highest single season contract in baseball history, plodded meekly to a 6-6 record, 4.18 ERA and 1.31 WHIP.

Cashman also maneuvered for the syphilitic homeless man’s Dice-K, Kei Igawa. The $46 million investment netted them a 2-3, 6.25 ERA, 1.67 WHIP performance, with surely more excitement to come in 2008.

2008 has also seen the two bonus babes, Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy make their “big” debut. Phil Hughes went 0-4 with a 9.00 ERA and a 2.14 WHIP before hitting the Disabled List. Ian Kennedy went 0-2 8.37ERA 2.03 WHIP before being sent to the minors. Yankee fans are wondering what exactly was so special about these kids that it was worth passing on Johan Santana.

The lone bright spot on this resume has been Chien-Ming Wang who quietly, if that is possible in New York, has become one of the better pitchers in the American League in his four major league seasons with a 52-18 record, a career 3.69 ERA and a career 1.28 WHIP. Importantly for New York, he has only gotten better.

As George Steinbrenner resigned into senility, the Yankees were supposed to become better run under Brian Cashman. In the past four seasons, the Yankees have acquired one reliable starter, and that was through their farm system. Brian Cashman brought in nine starting pitchers who made $7 million or more over that period, none of whom were beyond mediocre. Of those players, only Randy Johnson (3.79 in 2005) amassed an ERA under 4.00 for even one season.

Brian Cashman has spent hundreds of millions of dollars on pitchers with virtually no return. In each signing there is a persistent pattern of buying high and after career years. There seems to be little thought or analysis of a player’s career progression. And, this doesn’t even go into Giambi-gate, problems with the bullpen, or classlessly pitching Joe Torre out on his tuchus. When does one hold accountable?

In what world is Brian Cashman considered a competent general manager? Presumably the same one where over bidding yourself by $100 million for A-Rod to only give him $300 million is considered teaching him a lesson and pulling one over on him.

Miami Ad School accepted me into their copywriting portfolio program. 2 years. 8 quarters - the first four I’ll do at their San Francisco campus, which means some samsoniting to the Bay Area. I’ll tell you – I’m most excited about the mountain biking trails up there. Heard they’re great. Plus the air is cleaner up there, and there are lots of like minded hippie Jews I can roam around with. I’ve always wanted to check out the Mission Minyan too. Getting there will be much easier now.

So I’m thinking about starting a new blog focused on green advertising! I want to scour and gather like only an urbanEskimo can, and observe green ad campaigns from big and small companies. I want to see what works, what doesn’t, who’s authentic, and what’s artificial. I’m curious to see where the sustainability movement is headed. It’s got potential to move from fad to reality and truly make an impact and bring about concrete change, but can just as easily lose that momentum through obtuse corporate greenwashing and the average consumer’s apathy. Advertising, whether for business or the social good, is at its core the effective delivery of a message: buy our pants, vote on Nov. 4, don’t drink and drive...Public opinion can be influenced, with the right words, the right phrase, and the right method. I just hope we’re not that far off that that delivery will be impossible. Really. That’s one of the reasons I’m getting into this game.

If you’ve got any ideas for the blog name, let me know. And Chad, if you’re reading this – I need to learn CSS. Tell me how. Los blogs are ready for a makeover. And Jenny Jones is booked all week, that biatch.

Miami is Miami. Like LA, only girls show more skin, which is great because some chemicals in the air make their boobs grow three times as big. Book your flights now ladies. Oh, and watch where you walk out there. In a little over four days I almost got hit twice, I got into a mad dog Valley stare down with a 60 year old Cuban woman right outside Subway - definitely a first – and had our rental car smacked by a drunk Haitian construction worker. Motherfucker this, motherfucker that. Have a great day, boss! My mom gave him the finger, as she should. The city is built like Westwood, with more rivers and bridges, tattoo parlors on every corner, but only one bookstore in South Beach. It’s got a Euro feel, with cafés that stay open till four, people spilling onto the sidewalk just like in Italy… Miami is a fat cake of sexiness, but if you’re looking for even a small slice of intellect you’re shit out of luck. Not just out of, shit out of. The latter is much worse.

I present to you: 2005 superstar Shawn Chacon (7-3, 2.85). He knows he can do it again. I think he has a verbal agreement with Aaron Small to come back and lead the Yankees to glory again. They both think Joe Girardi is totally "neat."