After beginning the 2008 season with an appearance in the final of the Australian Open, and her first Grand Slam victory on the red clay of Roland Garros, Ana was being hailed as the successor to Justine Henin’s number one crown left vacant after her unexpected retirement. Ana gained the number one ranking on June 9^th. and held on to it until August 10^th. Then the wheels fell off.

She just didn’t play like the best player in the world, and she suffered loss after loss to players she would have normally expected to beat. She admitted in an interview that her respect for Roger Federer, who wore the mantle of Number one for several years, reached a higher level, and her admiration for the way he was able to survive so well under the enormous pressure that the top ranking position brings, was a facet of the game she hoped to learn someday. Of course she has to make back to the top first, to see whether she is able to do better under pressure for a second time. She did manage to win an event toward the end of the season but had to withdraw from the Doha Sony Ericsson with a bad cold. She celebrated her 21^st. birthday while in Doha in a quiet ceremony with a few tennis officials and friends. Someone baked her a birthday cake in the shape of a tennis racket. Her boyfriend Fernando Verdasco was on hand at coutside to cheer her on, so it is a pretty good assumption that the two found a private way to celebrate Ana’s coming of age.

Anchy, as she is known to her friends, did win a trophy in Doha. She was awarded the 2008 Sony Ericsson WTA Tour Diamond Aces award, given to the player who contributes the most to publicize and promote the WTA tour. Players are awarded points for photo shoots, autograph signings, videos and personal appearances, and not surprisingly Ana won. Her pretty face has been seen all around the world whenever tennis is mentioned or played. She has been featured on the covers of sports magazines, fashion magazines and has become an ambassador for Womens tennis. She brings with her an air of purity and innocence that translates into pictures that are cherished and collected by her growing number of avid fans. They follow her every move, and search the internet for updates on her activities. Her romance with Spanish hunk Verdasco is like a match made in Hollywood by a movie screenwriter, it brings together two of the most sought after eligible people on the planet.

As she prepares herself for the 2009 season, Ana needs to have an alternate game plan she can employ when her opponent anticipates the patterns of her game. She needs to perfect some of the shots she already possesses, and she should consider adding a couple of new ones. Her second serve could be improved, and her shot selection and point construction need some attention. A good coach would be worth his or her weight in gold!

Dear Innernet,

We have much to talk about. I’ll go first.

I have officially reclaimed my status as Best Boyfriend Ever. This is cause for great celebration. Possibly a parade. Or a fancy hat at the least.

I’m going to try and run through all the events of the last weekend in chronological order. (please note that I said TRY. Sometimes I’m not good at time. I don’t even know what time it is RIGHT NOW, or if it is today or yesterday yet. Time is confusing and I don’t pay much attention to it. Fuck time.) So we’re going to start from…Thursday? yes, Thursday.

Speedle was working, as usual, but he was actually cut fairly early in the night so he could have some birthday fun. Once midnight rolled around, he becaaaaaaaame….21! yes! My boyfriend is now an adult that has nothing to fear but the looming death of being 30! Also, I no longer feel like a creeper.

Needless to say, shots were coming from every direction.

Speedle will not be drinking Superman Shots again anytime soon.

Also needless to say, Speedle got drunk.

Now what do drunk people do after getting drunk at the bar? They go get food! Greasy, fatty, possibly fried, most times breakfasty, artery clogging, i-can’t-believe-I’m-eating-this-right-now goodness that you can only get from 24 hour diners. Fortunately, there was one such diner handy.

Speedle’s kind of cute when he’s drunk. He forgets some of the basic things that everyone should know, such as: hot coffee is hot, food go in mouth not table/lap/floor, the ability to speak quietly. None of that is particularly cute, but he also likes to make it well known, by all, that he loves me and I’m “such a good/amazing person”

We finished our food, and wanted a cigarette, so we went up to the counter (it’s a mostly non smoking establishment). Speedle continued to profess his love and keep a hand on my leg. Unbeknownst to me, we were sitting in front of two drunk, out and proud, heterosexual men.

There will be a time in every gay person’s life where they will have to deal with a Dumb Straight Guy/Girl. DSG’s can not be avoided, for they come to you. DSG’s usually can’t be reasoned with, they have no known weaknesses for they are “Always Right.” Since you “chose” to be gay, that translates to “choosing” to be “stupid/fucked up/wrong”

I have dealt with many DSG’s in my twenty two years and feel that I handle with them with an unsettling amount of finesse.

(THIS IS A WARNING: the following conversation deals with a DSG and gay sex. It is crass, lewd, and vulgar. You may not want to read it. I don’t even like the fact that I’m going to write it…but it is kind of funny.)

Speedle and I stood up to leave but DSG 1 put up his hand to stop us.

DSG 1: Hey, are you guys gay?

Self & Speedle: yep.

DSG 1: So…you like to, y’know like…suck cock? And have butt sex?

Self: indeed

Speedle: yeah…we’re gay

DSG 1: have you ever like, gotten shit on your cock though?

Self: unfortunately, this CAN happen. I’m guessing this means you’ve never had anal sex with anybody…male or female.

Speedle: Dude, when you’re gay…shit happens.

DSG 1: but…you like to suck cock

Self: I feel that we’ve been over—

DSG 1: you like to suck shit off cock? Lick shit?

Self: um…have you ever even had sex?

Speedle: …

DSG 1: like…you like to eat shit? Lick shit off cocks? Cocks? Shit? Suck cock shit? Like, lick suck shit lick?

(this…is not an exaggeration. In fact…it went on longer than this)

At this point, I started to question whether or not that man had ever said a full sentence in his life. I couldn’t handle the rearrangement of those four words any more, so I walked up and put a hand on his shoulder.

Self: Alright, stop. Let me give you a little advice. You seem really interested in this. One might even use the word “curious” to describe you, and that sounds awfully gay.

DSG 2: (making his entrance) HA!

Speedle: O_O (that’s a face, yo)

DSG 1: ?

Self: So I’m just going to pass this along to you, and you can pass it long to the next man or women you would be lucky enough to have anal and possibly oral sex with: suck it before you fuck it.

Speedle & DSG 2: *snort*

Brain: um…Jesse…DSG 1 looks kind of angry. I mean…way to pwn but…

Self: And now I’m going to walk away before you punch me in the face. Have a nice night sir.

(THE CONVERSATION’S OVER, YOU CAN READ AGAIN)

Then we went home and slept.

The next morning, I took Speedle to the Omelette Shoppe so he could have his favorite breakfast: eggs benedict. He was still pretty sleepy when we got back from breakfast, so I let him take a nap while I proceeded to run around the world and be the best friend ever.

This involved a trip to the mall to buy a 16G IPod Nano (blue…his favorite color). Then a trip to Meijer to buy a picture frame, glue, and Reese’s. THEN! Off to a coffee shop to put all the music on the ipod.

While Speedle Deedle was synchronizing (yes…I named his ipod “Speedle Deedle”) I spent approximately TEN BILLION MINUTES (or ten) opening the Reese’s as delicately as possible. I managed to get it open without tearing the wrapper, then I took the Reese’s out.

Now…I didn’t know what to do with the Reese’s. I’m not really a big fan of A.) chocolate B.) candy 3.) anything sweet. The barista and his friend were sitting at a table nearby, so I decided they might like some candy…from a stranger in a strange land.

Self: Hey! So, um…want some candy? I mean…I just bought these Reese’s and I really don’t want them. I just needed the wrapper.

Barista: um…

Guy: Why just the wrapper?

Self: I just bought my boyfriend an ipod.

Barista & Guy: …

Self: oh! Haha…no, it’s his birthday and I’m putting the ipod in the wrapper and resealing it so he has no clue what it is.

Barista: aw, that’s cute…

Self: So have some candy. I don’t like chocolate. They’re not poisoned.

Guy: …

Self: ok, maybe they are.

Barista & Guy:…

Self: QUIT LOOKING AT ME SO AWKWARDLY! JUST TAKE THE FUCKING CANDY!

Then they had me locked away, in a padded room, forever and ever, amen.

I don’t know why I attempt to talk to strangers.

I must say, though, that I am quite impressed with how well I was able to reseal the candy wrapper. It looked real, y’all! Like, deceptively real. So real…that it was unreal.

When I got home, Speedle was just waking up. I sat next to him on the bed and made sure that my face looked like “I am so pissed off right now”

Speedle: what’s wrong?

Self: I’m sorry, don’t be upset but…I wasn’t able to get your present. I went to the mall, and that store didn’t have what I wanted, so then I drove around to a jillion other places and everyone was out so…I just got you some candy. Sorry.

Then I threw the Reese’s Pod at him. He held it, and continued to look concerned about my upsetness (for I looked upset. I can act!)

Speedle: It’s okay baby…when AM I going to get it though? What was it?

Self: Nothing…just –don’t worry about it. I don’t know. Just…eat your candy. I want one.

He didn’t seem to keen on having candy (I later learned he was still a little nauseous from drinking) but he started feeling the package more. I saw the light bulb go off in his head when he realized the Reese’s were full of trickery and lies.

People…Speedle almost lost his eyeballs. They almost popped right out of his head.

Then we spent the next while playing with the ipod. I showed him all the bells and whistles, and how it already had 7 gigs of music on it, plus pictures of him and me and things that I like. Then he put on the head phones and jumped around the house, listening to things like Aqua, Air, and Imogen Heap.

That’s how I became best boyfriend ever 2.0

If you were paying close attention, you would have noticed that I also bought a picture frame. That’s because I made him this:

Speedle, us, and me

For I am crafty, and cheesy. Much like Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. Whatever gets your noodle goin’

Anwyay, eventually we made it to dinner with his friends. Then we went to Throwbacks to visit Alexandria and have a drink or two. Then we made it down to Diversions for the real party. Then it was good times, many drinks and shots, and a bunch of weird old drag queens. However, Speedle never got sick (I’m so proud!) and he never got TOO drunk.

But we still took a cab home.

Lucky for us, we know a gay cabbie that decided the ride would be Speedle’s present.

I still threw some dollars his way.

Now we’re crossing into Saturday. We went to breakfast at a Chinese buffet where we were the ONLY smokers. So we sat in a HUGE pretty room…by ourselves. That really doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but…it was something I felt you needed to know.

So, Saturday night is when Gay Drama 2008 started. Alright…it had already started, but I didn’t get involved until Saturday night.

(If you’re not a regular reader, please go to the cast page and read the profiles of Jayda and Alexandria)

(don’t worry, I’ll wait.)

(ready? Ok.)

Apparently, Jayda had been interested in a boy that I’m going to call Shoulder (don’t worry, this will be explained)…then Alexandria some how sort of stole him…or, whatever. (I don’t know how to talk about drama…Fun > Drama…Self =/= Drama…let me use more equations: Self + Drama = Brain Popping) So of course, Jayda got all pissed off (justifiable, I suppose) and Alexandria didn’t show any remorse or…whatever, and him and Shoulder are kind of a…a thing? Now? But Shoulder likes Jayda more?

So…we were all at Throwbacks. Shoulder, Jayda, and I were all drinking and discussing the weirdness of our lives (like sands through an hourglass) Jayda, I think, could no longer soberly handle the situation so…magically shots started appearing. Many of them. And my glass of vodka cranberry was approximately 19 parts vodka to one part cran.

Fast forward to home and drunk.

I insisted on cuddling with Jayda because it was FREAKING COLD in our house. COLD. I don’t know HOW cold other than VERY VERY COLD. Negative Warm.

Then, Shoulder felt the need to keep me up until four in the morning, discussing what he should do about the boys.

This is where his name comes in.

He kept putting his head on my shoulder, any time he was upset. So…I figured it was fitting.

Now, we’ve bled into Sunday.

Speedle and I spent a good portion of the day shopping, then he went to dinner with a friend. The whole gang later met up at Rumours for a drag pageant. Speedle and I ended up getting to sit in the little balcony, which was fun…and made me feel important even though we did not have things to sit on, like chairs.

Other than the fun shows, nothing too exciting happened there, other than the owner of Throwbacks telling me I am very sexy and “exotic” looking.

(exotic = not white)

And that’s basically what I’ve been doing with my time.

But guess what else happened Sunday!?!?

IT SNOWED.

And it’s cold.

And I don’t like it.

Take me somewhere warm.

Or send wine.

I went to Andrew and Nicholas’ birthday party yesterday.
Liquor still tasted bad, so I didn’t really drink.
I didn’t drink a lot, and hence I didn’t get drunk.
I wasn’t very high.
Parties can’t get me high.
Or was it because I was sober?

Then I went to Hyland to give linh a birthday surprise.
I guessed she was really surprised, as these people didn’t come with a birthday cake at 12 sharp.
linh looked cute as usual, only in her pyjamas this time.
The cheesecake was good.
I really miss Cheesecake Factory’s cheesecakes, for I haven’t had a slice of them for a long long time.
linlin, you finally can do whatever you want legally ^^
hmm don’t be too naughty though :P 

Hooray! Happy birthday to linh, Andrew, and Nic!

Still on target, 8,426 words. I’ve organized the narrator to be Ty’s new best friend. Ty is going to be a link to an epiphany inside the narrator. That won’t happen until the story is told of course. So far the story is being told casually and what the hell gender is Ty?! this is first draft!

The excerpt is here

On this day, last fall, she and I were fighting in one of the worst ways. We’d tussled in the past, but it wasn’t until a couple years after the coke incident that I got really bad.

That day we took turns hitting each other. But it wasn’t quite so organized,

When I picture a man hitting his wife, he’s out of control, and has been for years. And he’s always teetering. And sometimes a little slip up pushes him over. I think of him having other control issues in his life, like alcoholism, cheater, and drug use, anything in excess. The wife is the type who is always enabling his problems by continuing to stay with him, but the wife doesn’t lose her temper.

She’s told me she’d kill me in my sleep, with a knife or that baseball bat on bedside. Something in her voice meant she wouldn’t lie about something like that.

When I think of us fighting, I see us both out of control. I see me out of control, and I see her out of control too. I see two kids, like a brother and sister who’ve no parents to stop them, tearing each other from limb. And what matters that she is violent first? Whether it’s her pushing me first, or breaking something of mine, I’m the one who takes it too far. I’m the one who tries to destroy everything. I’m the one who stopped her from calling for help.

She couldn’t walk straight and my glasses were broken.

We’ve tussled before, but a year and a half earlier was only one other time that was worse than this. That time, I was seriously in the wrong. Yet, something about it felt so justified.

I rented a convertible flex car for the day to drive to the Oregon coast. We visited Cannon Beach and ate pizza. We drove all day with the top down, and enjoyed the weather. We ate dinner in Pacific City and had drinks at the dive bar across the bridge. All day seemed like we were fighting. I think we knew our worst fight was coming. The fight when I was determined to kill her with my bare hands on the side of highway 101.

It was her 21^st birthday present, the beach trip.

And driving home that night, after I felt like I’d given her the best gift I’d ever given anyone, she was drunk, went off ranting about me, and I popped.

On that winding highway, I started hitting her in the head and realized I needed to pull over to continue. The top was down and she got a hand on my glasses and threw them into the highway. Enraged, I gave her my strong left anywhere I could land it. Chest, head, pulling hair, arm, arm, head.

I parked the car, got out running around the car. She cried no! no! scrambling to undo her seat belt. I got there first and pulled her out onto the pavement. Sitting on her chest with her wrists under my knees, she was too drunk to fight, and I was too sober to stop.

I pulled her hair and screamed curses in her face. Screaming god knows what about my feelings.

I hit her more and ran to the car and drove off leaving her crying and beaten on the side of the road. A quarter mile later I turned around, realizing if I didn’t go back that I’d probably get more people involved in the fight, when she flags down help and they call the police.

Still laying was still on the ground, I saw her gasping in that way when you’re crying so hard that you just can’t get enough air. I parked and got out to pick her up. I felt so sorry in that moment. She protested my help and I put her in the car.

I put the top up, she cried herself to sleep in the passenger seat and I drove us home.

Ty interrupted us, “Hey are you guys OK over there?!” but at that point my girlfriend needed to go to the hospital.

The hospital in Nankek is more like a room with band aids and a back room for gutting animals, than it is a hospital where people are healed. Ty helped me walk with her propped on our shoulders the floor blocks to the ER.

She and I were already joking about our fighting and talking about how we are so out of control and need to get help. At that point our fighting was this public thing between us around other people because we both want to change. Right now it’s about all we seem to focus on, no matter how hard we say that we’re just going out for drinks, we always get into a serious talk about how to change our situation.

I must say that I love Halloween!  One it’s just freaking awesome that everyone can dress up in crazy crazy outfits and two, it’s the day after my birthday!!!! (the BIG 21 woot woot)  I had a great last night and thank all my friends that were able to come out and buy me a drink or two and dance with me!  I could post a few pictures from last night, but I don’t want to scare all of you. HA  But here is a recent addition to the what the duck comic strip in the spirit of Halloween!  Have fun tonight and be safe!… (check your candy for razor blades.)….. te he he  ;)    -Jackie

Sitting in the computer lab, semi-studying, semi-contemplating my last day as a 20 year old.

20 was a big year for me. I finally broke up with my ex, graduated from college, lived by myself for the first time, learned to cook really well, got my first car, moved to Chicago, had my first real spring break (went to Miami… it was AWESOME), and STARTED MEDICAL SCHOOL.

It was definitely a fun age. I’m looking forward to 21 though, I can finally stop sneaking into 21 & over clubs! I know my friends have been annoyed, because its always some huge escapade to get me in. I mean, I know every trick in the game to get in where I really don’t fit in lol.

Still, it was fun.

I also have a Chicago winter to look forward to… I really don’t look forward to that. Its already BLISTERINGLY cold, and I SWEAR I saw some snowflakes yesterday. However, fall/ winter fashion up here is just TO DIE FOR!!! I never knew you could look so cute in the cold! These Chicagoans have opened my eyes up to new things.

Not to mention, I have a whole bunch of new friends. Of course I miss my old ones, but my new ones are amazing too. They are some of the smartest, funniest, kindest people I have ever met in life.

Despite the fact that medical school has taken over my life, I still think my birthday weekend is going to be extra fun. Not only because its Halloween, but also cuz…. ITS HOMECOMING WKND!!!

Yeah, 21 will be fun.

And, YES, I will be able to experience life as a 21 yr old on a college campus after all. Even if only for a weekend.

I am very excited, not only for the parties, concerts, old friends, etc., but BECAUSE I AM GETIING OUT OF CHICAGO.

Don’t get me wrong, I love it here. But it’ll be nice to get AWAY. I’m going back to the undergrad, and please believe I will be acting bad.

But not too bad of course… don’t want to compromise this new pre-professional image I got going on.

But anyways, there is this HUGE party happening this Saturday, and I bought the dress for it. Believe me… its sleek. Maybe a little too sleek…… lol.

Still it is my 21st, so its all about the grown and sexy, right? I got the sexy down, but the grown is still a few hours away….

Anyways, let me stop being silly.

I have to take a Biochemistry test before I leave (life of a med student, the work never, EVER stops), but after that… gameover.

So once again, its back to studying for me…. TATA.

Oh yeah… here is a song that has been playing in the back of my mind this whole week.

Cupid… doesn’t lie
But you won’t know unless you give it a try
Oh baby, true love
won’t lie but we won’t know unless we give it a try

Luuuuuuuv it!

Personalised 21st Birthday Party wristbands, choose “glow in the dark” or a range of colours and sizes !

Use your personalised wristbands for people to have as an entrance to your party. This also gives you the opportunity to advertise your party, your event and your name and is a permanent keepsake. Be different !!! More entertaining than boring printed tickets and can be more fun. You even have the option to personalise each one with a different saying or name……………. this gives creative options to add a bit of fun / spice to the party !!!!!

Great for birthday parties of any age, university parties, stag and hen dos (not to get lost !!) xmas parties, new years parties, engagement / wedding parties, annual events……… in fact any gathering !!!

Nobody can copy them and enter uninvited this way!

 Go on be different…………………… add anew talking point to your party !!!!

For a reasonable price you can choose a variety of colours of the wristbands and also choose whether to get just a single band or interlocked. Email me with special requirements and I will try my best to do the best possible deal !

Just go on the site www.team-sport-bands.co.uk/personalised-wristbands-1-c.asp and you can do your very own wristband for your unique event.

Yes, once again I’m stuck with essay. Really have no idea for writing and confuse on how to start. Life will be boring with words for me. As my story will be related to horror or mysterious genres, I decided to watch movie like ‘The Coffin’ from Thailand to gain inspiration. I recall about what I have learnt in Create Storytelling module, which is to have

• a person that can be anything as my protagonist
• then he/she will be having a problem
• this problem need to solve
• lastly protagonist will learnt something from it

basically that will form up to be a story with beginning, middle and end. Although I don’t know how far can I go, but I will try my best to complete it as interesting as possible.

Anyway today is also Aik Hong 21st birthday. Before the show, went for his chalet and celebrated his birthday. Well I believe more will come and soon my turn. Haiz..

In American society, the 21st birthday is a big deal. Wait, let me scratch that. It is an overwhelmingly huge event where the individual celebrates his or her legal ability to purchase, consume, and enjoy the effects of alcohol. Milestones like this only come around a few times, and I would have to say that 21 is the last biggie for a while.

The revelry usually begins at midnight as an optimal mix of friends and free drinks from supportive acquaintances along the bar crawl. Inevitably, the night ends with the Birthday Girl or Boy dry heaving into a porcelain abyss with one friend on back-rubbing duty and another friend attempting to pump water down the victim’s throat. Hydration is key. Everyone present agrees the night was a success and hopes that no one was planning to go to an 8 a.m. class.

Vomiting is, generally speaking, not my idea of a good time. A massive hangover and total inability to recall the past night’s events are also not the best way to fully enjoy your birthday. So why do we force our bodies to go to the extreme, past the point of responsible ingestion to a whole new level of shwasty? The hardcore celebration of a 21st birthday is the young adult way of sticking it to The Man.

As a 20-year-old, an American can drive a car, serve in the military, vote, marry, sign legal documents and essentially function as an adult in all major areas of life. The only catch is that you are not mature enough to order a glass of wine with dinner. Your college budget probably mandates that you order water regardless of legality, but it is the principle of the situation at hand.

How dare the government make us wait for something so trivial when we are burdened with all of the other responsibilities that come with growing up?

So, college students and other under 21-year-olds flout the system. In fact, a 2007 call to action by the Surgeon General referenced the fact that 28.2 percent of 12 to 20 year olds participate in some form of drinking.

Maybe in high school it is not as prevalent, but here at college, rebellion abounds. Girls rush to the Player’s bathroom to scrub the X’s off their hands, kids pass back fake IDs to get into bars, and older friends contribute cases to off-campus beer pong tournaments. The whole system is defied yet the resentment remains.

It would be incredibly naïve to assume that the majority of our generation is taking their first sip of alcohol on their 21st birthday. In fact, the kid you are buying a shot for to celebrate “the big day” was probably at La Rez last week too, using his buddy’s license.

If you know how to get tipsy, buzzed, comfortably drunk or wasted from experience, why not pick your level for the evening? You have been fighting The Man for at least three years now. Tonight is your night and I promise he won’t be there.

By Madeleine Clark

Too damn big. No, I’m serious. We really need to draw the line here people. It’s time to divide our state into smaller fragments, like provinces, which people should not be expected to travel back and forth between within the space of an afternoon.

Maybe I’m spoilt by having lived all my life in the Inner West and having virtually everything, except the ocean, within 10km or less than half-an-hour’s travelling time from home. Perhaps. But I still think the City of Sydney needs greater division.

Sydney has sprawled too far for it to still be reasonably referred to as a city. And if you live out at Penrith, Mount Druitt, Bella Vista or Campbelltown and that that you live in the “City of Sydney” - you’re kidding yourself. You live in New South Wales. Sydney ended way back east.

I mean, if people expect you to travel from a suburb in the north-east to the south-west of Sydney in one day…Then they’re being bloody unreasonable. We’re talking about a potential 200km round-trip and between 2.5 and 3 hours of your time. Add heavy traffic or an accident, and well…Forget about it. But in Sydney people are constantly being expected to make these treks for business, sporting commitments, shopping, etc. Hell, people even expect their friends to make these inordinately lengthy voyages for social commitments. And then travel home afterwards.

For those of you reading this in other countries you might think such lengthy travel sounds appealing. It’s a day-trip, darling. How wonderful. Let’s do it for a lark. But in Sydney, this sort of travel is the rule and not the exception.

The sort of travel I’m talking about here would in most countries be considered travelling across state lines or through several provinces. And if this were Europe, we’d be talking about travelling across sovereign borders and (in the good ol’ days before European nations started deluding themselves their neighbours could be trustworthy allies) require you to present a passport.

I don’t think that what I’m proposing is unreasonable. I’m simply calling for the eradication of local councils - which we all know are completely useless. Their whole job is basically waste disposal and most of them can’t even do that right. And to replace these local councils we instate provincal governments. Perhaps, even with a view to eventually eradicating the excessive bureaucracy of state government. But that’s another fantasy and a rant for another time.

All I’m saying is - Let’s formalise the geographic divisions which already exist in Sydney so that the urban sprawl is more of a carefully monitored growth rather than an unmanageable containment spread. This way, when people ask you to make an 80km round-trip for a basketball game, for their child’s 21st birthday or for work; then everyone will be clear on the size of the inconvenience they are causig you.

October 18th is almost over, but since the party time is just beginning we would like to wish a very happy 21st birthday to cutie Zac Efron. Enjoy your laying low birthday!

Poor innocent Masha. The creepsters are two lines deep! If the first guy doesn't get to her, the second one will...

These are some pictures I took at Bubble Bar (a St. Petersburg nightclub) on the night I celebrated my 21st birthday…looking back over the night’s photos I found that the number of sketchy Russian nightclub goonies was staggering!!

Case in point: here we have a picture of the front room of the club early in the night.  Check out the regulars.

Amazing.

Look at all these red-blooded guys scoping out the scene and preparing to go in for the kill.  Does it look like these guys have ever had to even try to respect women in their lives?

First, we have the stalker.  This guy is the kind of dope who has the trucker hat with the birdsh*t design on it.  He “knows” he’s the sh*t, so he eyes his prey from across the room and takes long droughts of ‘Manchester’ gin & juice while honing in on his target with a sidelong stare that makes you shiver.

Next, we have the sleaze.  There is nothing particularly intimidating about this guy at first glance, but context is of the essence.  You only need to imagine this guy trying to grind up on some 14 year old high school girl with his eyes all squinted for extra coolness to see how this guy falls into the mix.

Then, we turn to the vulture aka the creeper.  He gets this title because he is some creepy vulture circling the room and landing on girls.  This guy doesn’t waste any time.  He sees what he wants and flies straight toward it.  There is no intermediate step.  See that sh*t-eatting grin on his face.  Those red ravenous eyes.  The sunglasses at night cause he thinks it’s cool.  Look at him accelerate with talons outstretched and foam dribbling from the mouth toward the defenseless and oblivious American girl in our group.  ’Nuff said.

Finally, allow me to draw your attention to the guy in the back of the room.  He comes to the club alone and just stands there not talking to anyone with a thousand mile stare.  No matter where you are in the room he is always facing you and looking straight at you with that look that says, “I’m waiting, and I know what you did last summer.”  He looks like he has a straight face, but upon closer inspection you realize that he has an ever so subtle, sick little smile, with the edges of his lips curling slightly upward with sadistic intentions.  Imagine this guy creeping through the bushes in overalls with a chainsaw tucked under his arm and it really seals the deal.

Maybe I’m being a little harsh on these guys, but I feel like the picture speaks for itself.

This example aside, I have certainly observed that in Russia if you want to dance with a girl, the Russian way is typically to just grab her and “make her your own.”  Oh yeah, and it doesn’t really matter if she has a boyfriend, or if that boyfriend is standing nearby for that matter.  Apparently, quote: “She may just have a boyfriend for status purposes, so that shouldn’t really be a consideration in your approach.”

Nice club though, overall!  Really loved the music.  Great atmosphere.  You don’t really notice the creepers if you’ve been drinking/have a penis.

Today is the 17 October 2008, and its a special day for someone in my sister’s family…Aaron, my nephew.

He celebrates his 21st birthday today…and as a family we are so happy and proud of him! I will always remember him as the very happy, always smiling, bouncy baby! Oh, Yeah, Aaron was always going ‘doink doink’…doing a happy hop as a baby! As he grew up, he was also going at full speed…I would be running after him as he cycles… he would pedal so fast and then hold his legs up and go zoom ( mmmh I wonder if he drives like he use to cycle?? ha ha ha )

Aaron with two children

Today he is a fine youngman, who loves and follows Jesus, kind, gentle but firm, loves children, always wanting to learn, hardworking, generous…I know I know i sound very bias because I am his auntie ;)….Did I mention he is tall and handsome?!!

One thing that always facinated me was, how little children would warm up to him…very, very quickly and easily. You should see his bedroom..he gets cutest soft toys as gifts from his students!

I believe it is God’s blessing to Aaron to be able understand, teach and love little children! Praise God!

Happy 21st Birthday to you, my dear Aaron!

For the most part, I’m amazed at how truly bright America’s college students are.  It’s amazing – every year we send over 4 million of you to Harvard and Western Michigan and the University of Oregon, and most of you have limitless futures (if you can only learn how to access your potential).  But sometimes I feel (in a completely heterosexual way) a little like Marissa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny – and I guess that’s the point of this website.  I want to help you access your potential.  There’s a scene in that movie, the night before Vinny goes into the courtroom to try to get The Karate Kid acquitted from his alleged murder of the clerk, where Miss Mona Lisa Vito tells her boyfriend, “You know, Vinny, the truth is…that I think once you get in there…and you start doing your thing…that you’re gonna be really, really, really great. (Pause)…If you don’t fuck it up.”  And that’s the same message I want to give you – the 17 million “Cousin Vinnies” out there on our college campuses – your future is really, really, really bright…if you don’t fuck it all up by being a teenager and doing something that is irrevocably stupid now. So today’s lesson is all about how to avoid one of the more idiotic things that many college students do during their time as American undergraduates.

Listen to me, there is no reason to take 21 shots on your 21^st birthday.  Best case scenario, you survive the experience.  On my 21^st birthday, I gave it a shot (21 of them, in fact), and that night I punched one of my fraternity brothers in the face, pissed off my girlfriend to the point that we nearly broke up, and then passed out in my own vomit for the next 2 days.  Because of this fiasco, I missed a Comparative Politics midterm, which I had to beg the professor to let me retake, still did horribly, and gained – what?  I have no idea.  Did I prove something to myself? – perhaps that my body could survive a grueling experience?  I suppose.  But wouldn’t it have been smarter to prove my toughness by running a marathon?  And, I’m embarrassed by some of the stories that I heard in the days that followed about my behavior.  What’s sad about this is that it’s probably akin to a best-case scenario for a 21-year-old who partakes in this stupidity.  The worst case scenario is that you die.  It happens – most people’s livers are incapable of processing that much hard alcohol in so little time – and sometimes the consequences of this inability are terminal alcohol poisoning.    

That being said, here are some rules for going out on your 21^st birthday that should keep you alive, and keep you from jeopardizing your future: 

Rule #1) Figure out before you go out to the bars the amount of alcohol that you normally drink on a weekend night.  Multiply this by a factor of 1.5, and set this number as your limit.  I’ll explain: if you normally go out and drink 8 beers without extreme pain the next morning (if this is your normal mild hangover state), set your limit at 12 beers on your 21^st birthday.  Likewise, if you normally have 6 cosmopolitans, you should drink no more than 9 on your big night.  Then, before you go out to the awesome hellhole that is the college dive bar, talk this limit over with your most responsible friend (not the friend that’s going to be drunker than you and picking fights with the football team, or your friend that’s trying to sleep with the football team), and let this person know that they can do whatever they have to do in order to cut you off if you want to go deeper than your limit.

Rule #2) Eat a carb-heavy meal before you start drinking, along with plenty of glasses of water.  Then, throughout the night, continue to drink as much water as possible to dilute the alcohol and make your stomach feel full.  This will keep you from going to fast and overloading your liver.  Speed drinking is the primary cause of alcohol poisoning.

Rule #3) Enjoy yourself.  If you aren’t having a good time, or are tired of having people buy you “3 Wisemen” shots, tell the people buying you the shots to fuck off, and don’t drink them.  Remember, you don’t want to die.  If you celebrate your 21^st birthday successfully, you will end up being able to jump up on the bar at the end of the night and sing “Sweet Caroline” (BUMP, bump, Bummppppp) without falling off and needing 42 stitches in your chin!!!

Rule #4) Make sure to purge your system of any excess alcohol before you go to bed.  That way, if you already feel a little sick, you won’t let those last few drinks out of your stomach and into your bloodstream.  This can make the difference between option A): being able to enjoy yourself in the morning with a slow recovery of greasy Jack-in-the-Box while watching a 6-hour MTV marathon of The Hills; and option B): spending the whole next day rolling around in your bed, softly moaning in agony as your body releases alcohol in that cold, itchy, gross sweat. 

Actually, when you think about, it’s all pretty simple.  But it’s amazing how often these rules are broken, and how sad it can be when you hear about an undergraduate on one of America’s college campuses who loses a brightly-filled future life because he was too dumb or scared not to be an idiot.  Don’t be this person.  Follow these four rules to keep your 21^st birthday safe and fun, and live to read Lesson #22: One Tree Hill (or, The Beautiful People). 

NOTE: The complete list of forthcoming lessons is now posted. 

il mio compleanno = my birthday
ho ventuno anni = I am 21 (literally “I have 21 years”)

The "smile with your mouth closed because you were ordered to pose for a picture while chewing" smile.

Alllllright! So if you remember, I took a train from Bologna at 5:15am on the morning of September 30th, il mio compleanno. I arrived in Florence at about 6:15, walked to my apartment… 6:30… there was absolutely no way I would be able to wake up in an hour if I went to sleep. I went to class at 9am after not sleeping since the morning before. Yeah, so.. I’ve got a guilty conscience. I fell asleep once or twice in my first class (which is 5 hours long), “Kathryn! Wake up!” She still hasn’t picked up the fact that I go by Katy so I decided I’ll survive. Then in my Italian class (only an hour 15 min), my teacher laughed as he said to me “Katy, sei stanco?” (Are you tired?) My response, “si, molto stanco…mi dispiace” (yes, very tired…I’m sorry). “Per che?” He asked me why and I told him I went to see a concert in Bologna last night and haven’t slept.. “Ohhh cool! Don’t worry about it. You guys are abroad! I expect you to have fun and go places and experience things!” And that’s why Enzo is the coolest Italian teacher haha. For the rest of the class he kept making jokes about me nodding off while taking notes… and applying it to our lesson. He taught us the verb “to sleep”… and also made a joke that was a bit racist… While pointing at each student he said “Americana, Americano, Americana,…. Giaponnese…, Americana..” Mamma mia!

Onwards! Went back to apartment, ate, slept 3 hours.. At 8 my roommates woke me up, “WE’RE GOIN OUT! IT’S YOUR 21ST BIRTHDAY!!!!” There I was, all tired and completely worn out, not wanting to go… But it was 4 against 1–no way I was getting out of that one. Plus, they apparently already had the night planned out.

Chinese birthday dinner

We went to a nice Cinese ristorante for dinner, then down a few blocks to a music club/bar called BeBop. BeBop has live cover bands every night and that night it was the Beatles! Sweet! I was very impressed with these Italians… they were very talented and did a fantastic job playing such well-known songs. Ya know, sometimes a band can cover a song and it’s absolutely terrible! For example, my favorite band is Incubus (duh), and if some unknown randoms decided to cover “Sick, Sad, Little World” they would probably sound terrible. Granted, “SSLW” is a much more complicated song than “Yellow Submarine” or “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da”….Nevermind. Just nod and smile and pretend you get what I’m saying. Va bene.

 During the middle of the set, the band stopped and said they had an announcement…. “Is Katy here? Everyone it’s Katy’s birthday! Come up here Katy!” Oh gosh…… Yes they brought me up on the stage. I can be so awkward sometimes I just didn’t know what to do when I got up there. They handed me a mic and said “SPEECH!!” Aw man… What do I say what do I say…?! So I said, “It’s my birthday!! WOO!!” Man, I look like a goof.. “I hope everyone is having fun! I know I am!” *smacks hand to forehead* What?.. did I say that?!  Hahaah oh man it was a classic moment. Regardless of my stupidity, everyone in the club cheered and made a bunch of noise in approval and then the band proceeded to sing Happy Birthday. My nervousness continued… does anyone else feel super awkward when Happy Birthday is being sung to you and you have to just sit there smiling while everyone stares at you? Well I do! Perhaps I should have actually had a few drinks so I’d have relaxed a bit. In any case, I ….sang with them, replacing the “you” and “Katy” with “ME!” Man, I’m cool. Good times.

Errr.. pure awkwardness captured on camera.

In all honesty, it was one of the better birthdays I’ve had.

Friday: 10/03/2008
Friday was just a mess. I didn’t know what to buy. Where to buy it. If it would rain. Who was coming. Who was not coming. Should I get some chairs/tables. Is it necessary to buy hella liquor? WHY ARE MY SHOES TEARING?! Friday was the day of my birthday BBQ/pre-clubbing/bar hopping. It was strange because people weren’t calling me and I was unsure of whether they’d even show up. When people did show up it was awkward, because when I asked no one wanted to drink. My only thought when I was constantly drinking was “then why the hell are you here?” That probably makes me sound like an asshole, but that’s how I felt at the time. Though I am aware that it is difficult to make people feel comfortable. Nonetheless, your boy was feelin’ himself and caught a lil buzz. Although we were indecisive, we did go to a bar. Stooges. Wow. The bar is posted in this lil ghetto corner near a street I use to live. HELLLLLLA white. They were playing rock songs hella loud. That mug was empty (probably because the fact that we arrived at 1:30AM). I had a couple of drinks. We left to Scores, a bar in a bowling alley, but they were closed. =[ So we called it a night.

Saturday October 4th, 2008:
I woke up at my sister’s house. The only thought on my mind was “Why the hell does my head hurt this back and I KNOW I’m not walkin’ home.” Of course, I ended up walking home with a small ass blazer on and my laptop strapped to my back. Yo, our houses are not far in distance but that seemed like a long ass walk. My boy Jose invited me to lunch with him, Cheri and baby Vincent. They were treating me for my birthday, so you know I couldn’t turn that down. I love Jose & Cheri. They always show me love regardless of what has been/is going on in their lives. So we went to BJs and I don’t know what’s going on but I believe my appetite may be decreasing ‘cuz I couldn’t finish my pasta for shit! They also gave me this card. I think it’s interesting how every year in the past few years I get one birthday card. I like that though, it makes me cherish them more. So, tell me why I was chillin on my couch all day on my 21st birthday watching my sister’s hair color results changing. We headed out to San Jose around 7:30 and arrived a little after 9. Because my shoes fucked up on me, I had to borrow Zack’s. Went back to Zack’s to pick up the shoes, ended up taking shots, FORGOT THE SHOES so we ended up going to a lounge. I decided I prefer lounges over clubs because a big dude like me needs some time to shit and chill and drankkk. Had hella fun. Took hella pictures. Had a few drinks. Yo, I swear I fell out of my chair when Jay Z’s ‘I Just Wanna Luv Ya (Give It To Me)’ came on. That’s my shit. DAMN. And when ‘Swagga Like Us’ came on. IT WAS INTENSE. We were gettttttttin’ it. Hella fun. Hella sweaty. There were a few guys hitting on my boy, Zick and I thought that shit was hella funny. Went to Dennys. Still couldn’t finish a (American) meal. Took a shit. Got asked “how can you do that in a public restroom?” Look, IF IT’S COMING OUT, IT’S COMIN.

Sunday October 5th, 2008:
My sister woke us up pretty early. I’m tombout like 5 hours after we got home. And she usually wakes up at noon when in Stockton at her house! We went to eat some kathew aka pho aka noodle soup. Afterwards, we hit up Santana Row to do some shopping. I didn’t get to see all the stores, but I assume there were other stores I would’ve been more into than the ones I saw. I’ve wanted to go to Urban Outfitters every time we go ot San Jose and finally, we did! Yo. I saw everything I’ve wanted online (except these pillows, but fuck a pillow.) I realized how similar my style is to people I’m around. I think that’s a good thing. Fly people should stick together, haha. But for real, yeah I wanted everything. I’m one of those dudes who rock hoodies, track jackets, sweaters, peacots and blazers all year round so when winter comes and fall clothes are available, I go crazy. I tried on this leather jacket. I kinda loved it, except it didn’t fit me. If it had, it would’ve been mine. I’m also on a hunt for a duffle bag. Not one of those $5,000 Loius Vutton ones, just a plain one. Maybe somethin like THIS. It’s animal-friendly leather, so that’s pretty dope. Afterwards we went to another mall, kinda got lost and were EXHAUUUUUUUUSTED. We finally left to Zack’s crib and shortly returned to Stockton. Dayuum that was one exhausting, hot, fun weekend. By the way, I was not THAT drunk so feel free to take me out for drinks, because I sho do celebrate my birthday all month long, no lie!

P.S. Photos will be posted soon!

Alright folks, at last is the long awaited blog about my 21^st birthday in Las Vegas. I’ll have to preface this blog with the question of: am I in the wrong “business”? I think I need to incorporate a new photography business, The Unique Angle someday soon! Keep that in mind as you read this little narrative of mine.

Friday morning we took an early Southwest Airlines flight out of Ontario and departed for Viva Las Vegas (aka McCarran Int’l Airport.) It was a nice and short flight, and surprisingly, Southwest has now gone “cashless” for buying drinks and stuff. I didn’t buy any, but they have this little machine they swipe your card through and such – it’s so 21^st century! We landed at the airport and that was when I had the first pull of a slot machine. Granted, I didn’t win anything – but I did have a nice chat with some lady who does shoe shining about my Nikon camera.

We thought we were in Disneyland as we stepped outside to the HUGE line that was for taxi’s, though it didn’t take but a whole 10 minutes to catch our cab. A nice $15 later and there we stood at the entrance to New York – New York Hotel/Casino: my dream come true! Luckily enough we were able to check in early, so we just went on up to the 22^nd floor and lounged around a bit.

…and that’s when the gambling began, haha.

Okay, perhaps it was after the awesome Sicilian style pizza we picked up in the hotel at a place called Sirricio’s (or something close to that at least). I think I did some slots, but I actually enjoyed some of the video blackjack, too. The Irish pub they had at the hotel was super-full, so we headed on over to the ESPN-Zone and had a few drinks! Yup, I had my infamous apple-tini, as well as a few sips of a SoCo and Sprite that I didn’t necessarily enjoy too much, but I charged to my room, yeah – I’m a big boy (with a big boy credit card.)

A little while later, I dressed up in my nice H&M vest and other formal attire and met the Wrights and the Clarks on the Strip. We made our legendary trip on down to Harrah’s where they supposedly had huge daiqiri’s. On our way down some drunk ass guy saw me with my camera and was like, “Dude, I know you wanna take a picture of me, bro!” I just kinda shrugged him off, and was like, “Yeaaaaaaaaaaah, sure, dude.”

A couple casino’s later these girls walk up to me and are like, “Hey, what’re you taking those pictures for?” This is the third time that my camera has gained me some sort of notoriety or fame in Vegas. I told them, nah – these pictures are for me! So, they decided to take a couple pictures with me – I’m no player or anything, but they all wanted a pic with me apparently.

At Harrah’s the line to the bar was huuuuuuuuuuuge, so no long daiquiri for me. It was cool though because we wandered through The Mirage, TI and such.

We went to Kahunaville at TI and had a few drinks, and by few I mean 2 $22 drinks and 2 $17 drinks, haha) AWESOME!

After awhile I actually got in touch with J.R., who picked me up with his sister around midnight or so. We went over to an off-strip casino, can you say, Red Rock? It’s where the movie 21 was filmed – which I thought was pretty awesome (though no, I can’t beat the blackjack tables, haha).

This was time number FOUR that some random couple asked me, “Are you putting these pics up on MySpace?” Number 1 - I deleted my MySpace and am happy I did, number 2- wtf!? So, I obliged and took their pic and e-mailed it to them when I got home…though they never responded (like last year!).

We stayed there for hours on end – until about 7:30am to be precise. I went back to the hotel room and got a whole 3 hours of sleep (since 6am the previous day!) Then it was up and back to playin’ and stuff. (Honestly, I can’t remember what happened until we met up with the Clarks and Wrights, it may have involved gambling, no doubt). We took the Monorail down to Harrah’s again and did some stuff, then ate at the fabulous Margaritaville. There was a slight freak out when I couldn’t find my credit card – I think losing a credit card in Vegas would’ve been pretty bad. How many honest people are there? Haha, well, I know a few, so maybe that’s not a fair question.

Took the Monorail back to the MGM Grand, and then made our way over to Hooters – they had some $200 in Free Play on slots. The problem was that you had to use some promotional slot machines that were $2/bet and you had to play max bet ($4). I was pretty much down and out within 10 minutes. At least I got a free drink out of it from the cocktail waitress. A couple of us got a free Bud-Lite with Lime in the bar which was cool – though admittedly I don’t drink too much beer (hold that thought.)

Afterwards we headed back to the Wright/Clark hotel room and I proceeded to open up 21 (!) presents while under the influence of the fabulous Bacardi and Coke. Yup – that’s my new favorite drink, hands down. We waddled our way back to NY-NY (cigars in hand and mouths, though I threw mine away after a few puffs, was about to vomit – no joke. Smoking will never never be for me.)

Somewhere along the line J.R.’s sister and her boyfriend picked me up and we went on over to a karaoke bar in the Asian part of Vegas (I know, I was so naive – had no idea such a place existed!) That was where I downed:

• 3 Budweisers
• 1 shot of sake
• 1 Jaeger-bomb
• 1 Midori Sour

I was nice and sloshed (my word of choice for drunk), though not to the point of puking, which was nice. We did a little karaoke (of course!) and it was fuckin’ awesome! I sang, “You Give Love a Bad Name,” “Somebody Told Me,” “Sway,” and a couple others, but I can’t remember very well. It was after that J.R. and Stacey’s boyfriend went to Excalibur (around 3am?) That was where J.R. hit it big on a penny machine (I think that was Excalibur…) and where we both lost on Pai-Gow Poker (J.R.) and Blackjack (me). I enjoyed another rum and coke “on the house,” haha. At about 7am, I called it quits and bade farewell to J.R. and met up my parents in the room.

Cutting the rest of the story short – we checked out, went to the airport, and got home. I slept from about 12pm until 9pm; it was the craziest thing ever. I felt out of my rhythm because I had gotten a grand total of about 5 hours of sleep in  48 hours (which is in fact the best way to do Las Vegas if/when you go.)

In short – it was awesome, I thank everyone who went, and even those who weren’t able to go. Time of my life and definitely many many experiences to add to my list!

First and foremost let me wishes all of you who do come by here once in a while a ‘happy and meaningful eid’ fitr’. It is a mark of our success in our bid to earn a blessed ramadhan. Lets have a blast eating and merry making with close one during ‘kunjung-mengunjung’. As for me, I’ll be celebrating first hari raya in the most unexpected place… Institut Jantung Negara.huhu. My atok is there due to pneumonia thus all of us will be based there. Not bad though, its been a while since we enjoy first hari raya in KL so I must say that it is a breathe of fresh air. The thing is, for me what matter most is the family. So,wherever they are it is there that you should be too. It doesn’t only apply for biological family, but also to those near to you, of whom you have accepted as family. They matter most as after all the waves that hit you, gust that waver you, and fire that tries to burn you: it is them who’ll continue to stand beside you. So, learn to appreciate them and just accept whatever shortcoming they have. I’m trying to do so anyway.

23rd september marks the beginning of me becoming a responsible legal-age citizen. Every action of mine should be mindful of others but not blinded by what we said spoon-fed culture. Every thought of mine should reflect a sound and articulate judgement made with due reasoning and and obtained facts and not childish-brashness and hasty answers. Every feelings must be conveyed through whatever media I’m comfortable of and not left at the nook corner of my heart, as a hidden feeling is also a hidden agenda. And there is too much hidden agenda as it is now. I’m refusing any handicapped awarded with the notion that I’m still young and green. The only way for me to move forward is to learn on accepting bitter taste and pain as part and parcel of life. I also have to learn that all things beautiful and nice might not be that nice and beautiful close up.

“age is just numbers, maturity is a state of mind”

All in all, what matter most is me. If I am not the catalyst of change for myself, then all that I’ve written is only a written propaganda. If the changes I’m hopeful of are only mere words then the strength of it is just black enough for the eyes to read. Steps must now be bold enough with conviction in the eyes. Speeches must be of certain weight or should not be mouthed at all. It’s an uphill battle, I know.

So,would you help me realize all this?

p/s: opening a bookshop is always my dream